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Encoded by Hunter
Crazy4TV.com
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B E N D E RI "Free Beer"?
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(PANTING)
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Free beer. Free beer.
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Free beer. Free beer.
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Free beer, beer, beer, beer, beer,
beer, beer, beer, beer, beer!
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Free...
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(SQUAWKING)
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(GRUNTS)
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(SCREAMING)
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Ah!
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Hello. I'm here
for the free beer.
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You got it.
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Right after these
800 people get it.
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(CHATTERING)
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Beer, beer-beer, beer, beer.
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(FANFARE PLAYING)
Beer?
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Ah... yeah!
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Thank you,
Headless Clone of Agnew.
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My fellow Earthicans,
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I'm proud to announce
I'm running for reelection
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as president of Earth, the
greatest planet in the world.
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ALL: Yeah!
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Is everyone enjoying
their free beer?
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ALL: Yeah!
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Well, there's plenty more
where that came from.
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We're all out of beer.
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All right, listen up, nitwits.
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Who here is tired of illegal space
aliens taking our good Earth jobs?
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(CROWD CHEERING)
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Me, too.
So, if I'm reelected,
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I promise to build
a really big Dyson fence
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across the southern border
of our solar system.
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(CHEERING)
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00:02:00,568 --> 00:02:04,614
And furthermore, by golly, I
promise to cut taxes for the rich
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00:02:04,697 --> 00:02:08,576
and use the poor as a cheap source
of teeth for aquarium gravel.
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Yeah!
That'll show those poor!
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Why are you cheering, Fry?
You're not rich.
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True, but someday
I might be rich.
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And then people like me better
watch their step. (snens)
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Let's just find Bender.
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Ah, that hit the spot.
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I found Bender!
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Good news, everyone.
(STUTTERS)
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What?
I've repaired myself
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with these convenient "Reeleot
Nixon" ass stickers. Go, Nixon!
47
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Bender, you can't even vote.
You're a convicted felon.
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Convicted, sentenced
and executed.
49
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But Nixon passed a law that
says ex-cons can vote again
50
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as long as they vote for Nixon.
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00:02:52,745 --> 00:02:56,916
But Nixon's the worst president
in history and alternate history.
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The rest of you aren't
voting for him, are you?
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Sure, we are!
Why not?
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00:03:00,962 --> 00:03:02,171
He may not be perfect,
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but do we really want
some unknown new guy?
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I'll stick with the evil
maniac I know, thank you.
57
00:03:08,261 --> 00:03:09,804
Well, I think we can do better.
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00:03:09,887 --> 00:03:12,890
This year, I'm going to get
involved in the political process
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and make my voice heard.
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What?
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Welcome to Debate 3012,
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the 3,012th debate
of the 3012 election year.
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We have a crowded
field of candidates,
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so I will dispense with
the informal terrorizing
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and begin the questions.
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Is this the political process?
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'Cause I'm here to
get involved in it.
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SHence!
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Question one. Will you pledge
today to somehow reduce taxes
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00:03:46,674 --> 00:03:48,926
while simultaneously
lowering the deficit?
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00:03:49,260 --> 00:03:50,970
Hey, that's a good idea. Sure.
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If it'll win me
the election, then yes.
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00:03:53,347 --> 00:03:56,350
We have a saying up in Alaska.
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00:03:56,434 --> 00:03:57,727
That's all.
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Senator Travers?
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00:04:00,313 --> 00:04:03,483
Look, let's be honest here.
No one likes taxes,
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but they pay for our basic needs.
Roads, schools, defense.
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00:04:07,945 --> 00:04:11,365
If we hope to realize our
aspirations as a great planet,
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we must each pay our fair share
to achieve those noble goals.
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(ALL BOOING)
81
00:04:23,211 --> 00:04:25,880
Thank you, Senator. A
thoughtful and lucid answer.
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You will be destroyed!
83
00:04:27,757 --> 00:04:30,802
Question two. The environment.
Yes or no?
84
00:04:31,052 --> 00:04:32,678
No. It's junk science.
85
00:04:32,762 --> 00:04:34,806
Two words.
Condor attack.
86
00:04:34,889 --> 00:04:36,641
Don't want that.
Got to say no.
87
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Now, just a minute.
These are important issues.
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We can't just
reduce them to sound bytes.
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00:04:42,271 --> 00:04:43,731
(ALL BOOING)
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According to
reputable scientists...
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(ALL BOOING)
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Enviromite!
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(ALL CHEERING)
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Hello? I'd like to volunteer.
Is anyone lurking?
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(GRUNTING)
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00:05:05,795 --> 00:05:07,338
Hey, stop that.
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00:05:09,048 --> 00:05:10,258
Senator Travers?
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00:05:10,591 --> 00:05:12,134
That's no way
to win an election.
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(SIGHS) I give up. No one
cares about my message.
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00:05:15,596 --> 00:05:18,724
I never should have used the
same PR guy as One Hour Hot Dog.
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People will wait
for something good.
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No, don't quit.
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You have great ideas.
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You just need to get them out
there with social media.
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(BEEP S)
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Look, I posted your
debate video on Faoebag.
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10,000 views?
108
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That's more than most
water-skiing squirrels get.
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00:05:38,494 --> 00:05:40,246
You really think
I have a chance?
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Absolutely.
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We just need to
conceal your intelligence
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and honesty in a hipper,
dumber package.
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Well, what have I got to lose?
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I'm making you
my new campaign manager.
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You, out!
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You haven't heard the last of...
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(LINDA READING)
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As the Iowa caucus approaches,
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the state's hippest citizens turned
out for an old-fashioned flash mob.
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MORBO: Chris Travers got a bump
in the New Hampshire polls today,
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where he simuldined in 250
diners at once via hologram.
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This pie at this diner
is the best pie.
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(ALL CHEERING)
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LINDA: Chris Travers wins the
South California primary handily,
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thanks to a series of
well-placed cameo appearances.
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MORBO: Super Tuesday
is in the books,
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with Eurasia, Australia and Kentucky
turning out in big numbers.
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With the race a dead heat,
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it's all come down to a final
tally at the convention.
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(CROWD CHEERING)
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CALCULON:
And the first runner-up,
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who will take over if the nominee is
caught with a dead girl, a live boy
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or any kind of sexy ghost,
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Mr. Greenland!
(GASPS)
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(CROWD APPLAUDING)
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Which means
our nominee is the senator
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from the nation-state of Hawaii,
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Chris Travers!
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(CROWD CHEERING)
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He won the nomination!
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We, the people, did it!
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It wasn't "we, the people,"
it was you, the mutant.
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Your insightful nagging
really won us over.
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Yeah. You explained
his positions
145
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in a way even
an idiot could understand.
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And that appealed to me,
for whatever reason.
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Thanks, guys, but we have a
lot of work ahead of us.
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If we're going
to win the election,
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we've all got to get involved.
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You said it!
That's right.
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If you want my opinion,
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Nixon's only chance
to defeat Travers
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is with filthy lies,
dirty tricks
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and good old Quaker thuggery.
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And I'm just
the guy for the job.
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(LAUGHS)
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(BOTH LAUGHING)
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(BOTH HOWLING)
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I'm not sure if it's safe to talk.
Are you wearing a wire?
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I'm 40% wire.
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Excellent. Now, listen.
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We got to get some dirt
on this Travers guy.
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Really McGovern him up.
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You know who
McGovern was, right?
165
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I don't even know who you are.
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Hello, dirt.
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I'll start at "N"
for nude pictures.
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Aw, Nobel Prize?
That's no good.
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How about "A" for adultery?
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What?
Straight-A transcript?
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(DOOR OPENS) TRAVERS: Hey,
what's that rifling sound?
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00:08:39,967 --> 00:08:41,135
Uh-oh. (GULPS)
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(MOANS)
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00:08:53,647 --> 00:08:54,648
(UNZIPPING)
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00:08:59,987 --> 00:09:02,740
All right. I'm going to
catch Travers on video
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00:09:02,823 --> 00:09:04,825
at this sleazy strip club.
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BENDER: In and out of the club
13 times in one night.
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00:09:09,163 --> 00:09:11,082
That's a record.
Where's Travers?
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00:09:11,165 --> 00:09:12,958
All I see is you
going in and out.
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00:09:13,042 --> 00:09:14,668
Yeah, me.
I set the record.
181
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:15,961
(SCOFFS)
182
00:09:16,045 --> 00:09:19,173
This is as useless as those
pictures you photoshopped.
183
00:09:19,256 --> 00:09:21,884
Look, just give me one more ohanoe.
I got a source.
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Well, you did manage to get
a tremendous urine sample.
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Let's not talk about that.
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00:09:34,146 --> 00:09:35,231
(METAL CLAN KS)
187
00:09:35,314 --> 00:09:36,607
Is that you, Big Throat?
188
00:09:36,690 --> 00:09:38,317
In the flesh. (GIGGLES)
189
00:09:39,026 --> 00:09:41,654
Listen, I need some dirt
on Senator Chris Travers.
190
00:09:41,862 --> 00:09:43,114
How quaint.
191
00:09:43,197 --> 00:09:48,244
Butlsuppose I should do my part
for political intercourse.
192
00:09:48,327 --> 00:09:51,664
Come closer,
and I'll expose what I know.
193
00:09:52,706 --> 00:09:53,707
There's nothing.
194
00:09:53,958 --> 00:09:56,794
He's as clean as
a freshly waxed buttock.
195
00:09:57,044 --> 00:09:58,963
Hey! Did you put
your tongue in my ear?
196
00:09:59,046 --> 00:10:01,382
Certainly not.
I don't have a tongue.
197
00:10:01,632 --> 00:10:03,467
Oh, good.
'Cause I don't have an ear.
198
00:10:03,884 --> 00:10:04,927
(CHITTERING)
199
00:10:05,928 --> 00:10:07,638
Come on, come on, fall.
200
00:10:07,721 --> 00:10:09,473
Fall, damn it, fall!
(DOOR OPENS)
201
00:10:10,141 --> 00:10:11,642
Well?
What did you get on Travers?
202
00:10:11,851 --> 00:10:14,979
Is he a draft dodger?
Sex offender? Sex dodger?
203
00:10:15,229 --> 00:10:16,564
Nada. He's clean.
204
00:10:16,897 --> 00:10:19,191
I'm sorry, but there's
not one unusual thing
205
00:10:19,275 --> 00:10:21,569
about Senator
Chris Zaxxar Travers.
206
00:10:21,902 --> 00:10:24,530
Wait, wait.
His middle name is Zaxxar?
207
00:10:24,613 --> 00:10:26,073
Sounds kind of alien.
208
00:10:26,157 --> 00:10:27,324
The voters hate aliens.
209
00:10:27,575 --> 00:10:30,369
They sure do, but this guy's
as human as you or me.
210
00:10:31,162 --> 00:10:34,707
I don't care what he is. We'll
start a rumor that he's an alien.
211
00:10:34,915 --> 00:10:37,001
Hey, yeah.
That'll cost him votes.
212
00:10:37,126 --> 00:10:39,170
Then, when he says
he was born on this planet,
213
00:10:39,253 --> 00:10:41,422
we make him cough up
his Earth certificate.
214
00:10:41,505 --> 00:10:43,632
Keep it on the news,
put him on the defensive.
215
00:10:43,716 --> 00:10:49,096
Oh, this is sneaky. I feel
a jowl movement coming on.
216
00:10:49,346 --> 00:10:50,973
(HOWLING)
217
00:10:52,183 --> 00:10:54,226
And that's how you end hunger.
218
00:10:54,602 --> 00:10:55,853
Does anyone have any questions?
219
00:10:55,936 --> 00:10:58,022
I do, I do! Me, Bender!
220
00:10:58,355 --> 00:11:00,774
Yes, the robot with the
megaphone jumping up and down.
221
00:11:01,192 --> 00:11:06,197
I have a question for
Senator C. Zaxxar Travers.
222
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:07,323
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
223
00:11:08,991 --> 00:11:11,035
Tell me, Zaxxar,
224
00:11:11,118 --> 00:11:13,370
were you even born on Earth?
225
00:11:13,454 --> 00:11:16,290
Becausethe Earth
constitution clearly states
226
00:11:16,373 --> 00:11:19,418
that only people born on
Earth can be president.
227
00:11:19,501 --> 00:11:21,879
Isn't that right,
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg?
228
00:11:21,962 --> 00:11:24,298
You Ruth Bader believe it!
229
00:11:24,548 --> 00:11:25,674
But I...
230
00:11:25,758 --> 00:11:27,551
Of course I was born on Earth.
231
00:11:27,801 --> 00:11:29,220
Oh, really?
232
00:11:29,303 --> 00:11:32,640
Then we voters demand you
release your Earth certificate
233
00:11:32,723 --> 00:11:34,516
so I can then claim it's a fake.
234
00:11:34,850 --> 00:11:37,561
I'm not going to dignify
this preposterous charge.
235
00:11:37,645 --> 00:11:39,313
Are there any realquesflons?
236
00:11:39,563 --> 00:11:41,565
Scoop Chang,
Fox Quote-Unquote News.
237
00:11:41,815 --> 00:11:43,317
Senator, in the last 10 seconds,
238
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,694
I've heard reports you weren't
actually born on Earth.
239
00:11:45,778 --> 00:11:47,404
Care to evade these
compelling charges?
240
00:11:47,655 --> 00:11:49,323
No. I mean, yes.
241
00:11:49,406 --> 00:11:50,658
I mean... (GROANS)
242
00:11:54,286 --> 00:11:56,497
Okay, let's nip this
Earther movement in the bud
243
00:11:56,580 --> 00:11:58,165
by releasing your
Earth certificate.
244
00:11:58,249 --> 00:11:59,250
Where were you born?
245
00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:01,168
Our Lady of Patriotism Hospital.
246
00:12:01,377 --> 00:12:03,337
Patriotism, good.
Where is it?
247
00:12:03,671 --> 00:12:05,589
Kenya.
Cradle of humanity.
248
00:12:05,714 --> 00:12:09,385
Leela, this is just a stupid
distraction from the issues.
249
00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:12,388
Please don't look for
my Earth certificate.
250
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:14,890
Hey! That was
my favorite window.
251
00:12:14,974 --> 00:12:16,558
I better see what they want.
252
00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:18,602
(CHANTING)
We want an Earthling,
253
00:12:18,686 --> 00:12:20,813
not a dirty space thing!
254
00:12:20,896 --> 00:12:22,523
Why are you rednecks doing this?
255
00:12:22,773 --> 00:12:24,275
Leela, don't stereotype.
256
00:12:24,692 --> 00:12:26,485
Why are you yokels doing this?
257
00:12:26,694 --> 00:12:29,488
I may be just
a backwoods septic tank,
258
00:12:29,571 --> 00:12:32,449
but I've had it up to here
with you foreigners.
259
00:12:32,658 --> 00:12:34,326
But I come from Earth.
260
00:12:34,535 --> 00:12:37,162
Then show us your
Earth whatchacallit.
261
00:12:37,371 --> 00:12:40,749
Long-form certificate of live birth.
(snczns)
262
00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:42,793
What would it take
to convince you people?
263
00:12:42,876 --> 00:12:45,004
Would I have to have been born
right before your eyes?
264
00:12:45,212 --> 00:12:46,463
It wouldn't hurts.
265
00:12:46,547 --> 00:12:47,798
Hit it, rubes!
266
00:12:47,923 --> 00:12:49,883
(CHANTING)
We don't want a foreigner!
267
00:12:50,009 --> 00:12:51,844
We want someone born here!
268
00:12:52,553 --> 00:12:54,263
Eh, I'm still
working on that one.
269
00:12:54,513 --> 00:12:55,973
(GROANS)
270
00:12:56,056 --> 00:12:57,349
What's wrong with you?
271
00:12:57,433 --> 00:13:00,269
Why are you sabotaging a
decent, honest candidate?
272
00:13:00,394 --> 00:13:03,522
'Cause they won't let me near
the Hoover Dam anymore. Ooh!
273
00:13:03,605 --> 00:13:05,691
What a bunch of xenophobes.
274
00:13:05,858 --> 00:13:08,193
It's time to find Senator
Travers' Earth certificate
275
00:13:08,277 --> 00:13:09,862
and put an end to this nonsense.
276
00:13:10,237 --> 00:13:12,489
Who wants to help me break
into the hospital in Kenya?
277
00:13:12,865 --> 00:13:15,993
I'll come. As long as there's
no xenophobes there.
278
00:13:16,076 --> 00:13:17,077
(SHUDDERS)
279
00:13:17,286 --> 00:13:19,747
I want to come, too.
You? Why?
280
00:13:19,997 --> 00:13:23,292
To prove that I can put divisive
partisan politics aside
281
00:13:23,375 --> 00:13:25,294
to participate in a break-in.
282
00:13:37,389 --> 00:13:38,891
Hospflalhol
283
00:13:42,019 --> 00:13:43,604
(GRUNTING)
284
00:13:47,399 --> 00:13:48,776
(GRUNTING)
285
00:13:56,867 --> 00:13:58,369
(HOOF BEATS APPROACHING)
Shh!
286
00:13:58,452 --> 00:14:00,454
It's a herd of night watchmen.
287
00:14:08,962 --> 00:14:10,005
(GASPS) I found it!
288
00:14:12,383 --> 00:14:15,302
I don't understand. There's
no Earth certificate in here.
289
00:14:15,427 --> 00:14:16,553
TRAVERS: No, there isn't.
290
00:14:18,472 --> 00:14:19,598
(ALL GASP)
291
00:14:19,681 --> 00:14:21,725
I told you not to look.
292
00:14:22,059 --> 00:14:23,977
So, you're not
from Earth after all.
293
00:14:24,228 --> 00:14:25,604
Of course I'm from Earth.
294
00:14:25,938 --> 00:14:28,315
Wait a second.
There's no Earth certificate,
295
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:30,192
but it does say your
mother was admitted
296
00:14:30,317 --> 00:14:32,569
to the maternity ward.
This morning!
297
00:14:32,861 --> 00:14:35,072
(GASPS)
(SIGHS)
298
00:14:35,155 --> 00:14:37,658
I should have known the truth
would come out sooner or later.
299
00:14:38,117 --> 00:14:41,453
The fact is,
I really was born on Earth
300
00:14:41,537 --> 00:14:42,621
tomorrow.
301
00:14:42,704 --> 00:14:45,374
You see,
I'm not from another planet.
302
00:14:45,457 --> 00:14:47,209
I'm from the future.
303
00:14:48,419 --> 00:14:49,670
(GASPING)
304
00:14:51,797 --> 00:14:53,173
(GAGGING)
305
00:15:06,228 --> 00:15:08,730
This is crazy.
You're from the future?
306
00:15:08,814 --> 00:15:11,525
Yes. I was sent back
from the year 3028
307
00:15:11,608 --> 00:15:13,193
to prevent Nixon
from getting elected.
308
00:15:13,402 --> 00:15:15,737
I was sent forward
from the year 2000,
309
00:15:15,821 --> 00:15:18,115
but you don't hear me
gassing on about it.
310
00:15:18,198 --> 00:15:20,909
But why would it be so
important to stop Nixon?
311
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:24,037
Because of the horrific events
he's going to set in motion.
312
00:15:24,121 --> 00:15:25,497
(SOBS) on, God.
313
00:15:25,581 --> 00:15:27,541
I can't bring myself
to describe it.
314
00:15:27,875 --> 00:15:29,715
Oh, well. VVant to hear
about how I got frozen?
315
00:15:30,752 --> 00:15:31,920
Not really.
316
00:15:33,088 --> 00:15:34,840
It all started
with Nixon's promise
317
00:15:34,923 --> 00:15:37,718
to build an alien-proof fence
around the solar system.
318
00:15:37,968 --> 00:15:41,430
Without cheap alien labor for
menial jobs like harvesting crops,
319
00:15:41,805 --> 00:15:42,806
teaching math,
320
00:15:42,890 --> 00:15:45,809
and curing disease,
the economy collapsed.
321
00:15:46,894 --> 00:15:49,897
Starvation.
Desperation. Despair.
322
00:15:50,105 --> 00:15:52,024
So far, so good.
Then what?
323
00:15:52,232 --> 00:15:54,818
TRAVERS: Unable to feed
the world's starving masses,
324
00:15:54,902 --> 00:15:56,612
Nixon took bold action.
325
00:15:56,862 --> 00:16:00,616
In this time of crisis,
I call upon the soylent...
326
00:16:00,699 --> 00:16:02,659
I mean, silent majority.
327
00:16:02,743 --> 00:16:04,203
(ALL CHEERING)
328
00:16:05,412 --> 00:16:06,497
(ALL SCREAMING)
329
00:16:11,668 --> 00:16:12,669
Still good.
330
00:16:12,753 --> 00:16:14,463
TRAVERS: With the
working class gone,
331
00:16:14,546 --> 00:16:17,591
robots were forced
to do all the menial labor.
332
00:16:20,427 --> 00:16:23,347
Before long,
they rose up in revolt...
333
00:16:29,937 --> 00:16:33,607
Led by a bending unit
named B.B. Rodriguez.
334
00:16:33,690 --> 00:16:35,108
(CACKLING)
335
00:16:36,944 --> 00:16:40,447
BENDER: Wait... I know a robot
named B.B. Rodriguez!
336
00:16:40,739 --> 00:16:44,201
Wait... I am a robot
named B.B. Rodriguez.
337
00:16:44,284 --> 00:16:45,953
So, I become ruler of Earth?
338
00:16:46,203 --> 00:16:47,204
Indeed.
339
00:16:47,287 --> 00:16:50,123
Yes! In your face, high
school guidance counselor.
340
00:16:50,541 --> 00:16:54,044
TRAVERS: The robots crushed our most
treasured monuments and celebrities,
341
00:16:54,127 --> 00:16:56,838
but they couldn't
crush the human spirit.
342
00:16:56,922 --> 00:16:58,090
We went into hiding,
343
00:16:58,173 --> 00:17:01,552
and after careful research,
located a xeroxed copy
344
00:17:01,635 --> 00:17:04,304
of an ancient time travel code.
345
00:17:04,638 --> 00:17:05,973
Though I was only 15,
346
00:17:06,056 --> 00:17:09,560
mankind entrusted me with its
last remaining suit and tie
347
00:17:09,643 --> 00:17:11,395
and sent me back in time.
348
00:17:11,478 --> 00:17:13,230
I would be raised
by my grandparents,
349
00:17:13,313 --> 00:17:15,107
somehow get into
Harvard Law School,
350
00:17:15,190 --> 00:17:17,317
become a community organizer,
a senator,
351
00:17:17,609 --> 00:17:18,694
and finally,
352
00:17:18,777 --> 00:17:20,612
defeat Richard Nixon.
353
00:17:23,282 --> 00:17:25,784
I escaped just as
the robots arrived.
354
00:17:27,411 --> 00:17:30,205
All right, I'm low on bullets.
Everybody, scooch together.
355
00:17:30,622 --> 00:17:33,041
It's not too late. You can
still win the election.
356
00:17:33,292 --> 00:17:35,502
No, I can't.
The Earthers are right.
357
00:17:35,586 --> 00:17:37,212
I have no Earth certificate.
358
00:17:37,462 --> 00:17:39,965
But you will have one
in just a few hours.
359
00:17:40,048 --> 00:17:41,800
And everyone
will know it's real,
360
00:17:41,967 --> 00:17:45,012
'cause we'll broadcast
your birth on live TV.
361
00:17:46,471 --> 00:17:48,849
If it's on TV,
it has to be real.
362
00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:53,604
Morbo interrupts
Bowling For Quatloos
363
00:17:53,812 --> 00:17:57,858
to present breaking coverage of the
birth of Senator Chris Travers.
364
00:17:57,983 --> 00:18:00,277
We now go live to
the delivery room,
365
00:18:00,527 --> 00:18:02,195
where we're already at there.
366
00:18:02,279 --> 00:18:03,822
(MOANS)
367
00:18:05,324 --> 00:18:06,491
Ow!
368
00:18:06,575 --> 00:18:08,577
Back, please.
She needs room.
369
00:18:08,744 --> 00:18:10,329
Thanks.
Not you.
370
00:18:10,412 --> 00:18:11,997
The camerawoman needs room.
371
00:18:12,164 --> 00:18:13,999
This is it,
ladies and gentlemen.
372
00:18:14,082 --> 00:18:15,334
The candidate is...
373
00:18:15,417 --> 00:18:17,252
I believe he's crowning!
374
00:18:17,461 --> 00:18:19,630
Push, Mom, push.
You can do it.
375
00:18:20,005 --> 00:18:23,008
I bet nothing comes out.
Just you watch.
376
00:18:23,091 --> 00:18:24,801
Here comes the head.
377
00:18:24,885 --> 00:18:26,386
And now the neck.
378
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:28,889
Linda,
I'm down here at the pelvis,
379
00:18:28,972 --> 00:18:32,100
and folks round these parts
can't remember the last time
380
00:18:32,184 --> 00:18:36,104
a time-traveling senator attended
his own birth. Back to you.
381
00:18:36,396 --> 00:18:39,066
Thanks, Morbo.
You be careful down there.
382
00:18:39,149 --> 00:18:40,525
(BABY CRYING)
383
00:18:40,609 --> 00:18:42,903
LINDA: And the
candidate is born!
384
00:18:43,278 --> 00:18:46,865
We have a birth.
Repeat, we have a birth.
385
00:18:46,990 --> 00:18:48,116
(ALL GASPING)
386
00:18:49,618 --> 00:18:50,661
Aw...
387
00:18:50,744 --> 00:18:52,245
He's got his own eyes.
388
00:18:52,621 --> 00:18:54,498
Well, who'd have thunk it?
389
00:18:54,581 --> 00:18:58,126
He was born all right,
just like he said.
390
00:19:07,010 --> 00:19:10,806
And with the polls now closed
in every time zone worldwide,
391
00:19:10,972 --> 00:19:13,850
from Tomorrowland
to the Republic of Yesterday,
392
00:19:13,934 --> 00:19:15,602
we are able to declare a winner.
393
00:19:15,894 --> 00:19:18,563
Chris Travers,
who leapt backwards in time
394
00:19:18,647 --> 00:19:21,900
and ahead in the polls,
has defeated Richard Nixon.
395
00:19:21,983 --> 00:19:23,276
(ALL CHEERING)
396
00:19:24,403 --> 00:19:25,987
LEELAI He did it! He did it!
397
00:19:27,072 --> 00:19:29,825
Yes! Congratulations, Mr.
President.
398
00:19:29,908 --> 00:19:31,535
It's all thanks to you, Leela.
399
00:19:31,618 --> 00:19:34,913
You stood by me and exposed
my private medioal reoords,
400
00:19:34,996 --> 00:19:36,707
even after I begged you not to.
401
00:19:36,957 --> 00:19:38,208
Aw, thanks.
402
00:19:38,291 --> 00:19:41,545
Now, get up to that podium
and change the world.
403
00:19:41,628 --> 00:19:43,964
Too bad your pal
Nixon lost, Bender.
404
00:19:44,089 --> 00:19:45,674
You must be pretty glorked off.
405
00:19:45,799 --> 00:19:48,510
Nope. I don't give a bag of
butts who won the election.
406
00:19:48,593 --> 00:19:49,720
Nothing's going to change.
407
00:19:50,011 --> 00:19:51,888
What? How can you say that?
408
00:19:52,139 --> 00:19:53,974
Watch and learn.
409
00:19:56,476 --> 00:19:57,894
My fellow Earthicans,
410
00:19:57,978 --> 00:20:01,148
lam honored and humbled
to stand before you tonight
411
00:20:01,231 --> 00:20:03,150
as your next president.
412
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:04,818
Together, we will...
413
00:20:04,901 --> 00:20:06,403
Hey, what's going on?
414
00:20:06,486 --> 00:20:08,113
What's happening?
415
00:20:09,823 --> 00:20:11,908
You see, since
Nixon wasn't elected,
416
00:20:11,992 --> 00:20:13,910
the robot uprising didn't happen
417
00:20:13,994 --> 00:20:16,580
and Travers never got sent
back from the future.
418
00:20:16,872 --> 00:20:18,707
It's Politics 101.
419
00:20:18,915 --> 00:20:20,500
(SCREAMING)
420
00:20:24,254 --> 00:20:25,505
And the votes are in.
421
00:20:25,714 --> 00:20:27,632
Richard Nixon,
running unopposed,
422
00:20:27,716 --> 00:20:30,510
has been reelected
by a narrow landslide.
423
00:20:30,677 --> 00:20:31,677
Say what?
424
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,555
My fellow Earthicans,
425
00:20:33,638 --> 00:20:36,767
I am honored and humbled
to gloat before you tonight
426
00:20:36,850 --> 00:20:39,227
as your next president.
427
00:20:39,603 --> 00:20:42,856
Wow, it really doesn't
matter who you vote for.
428
00:20:42,939 --> 00:20:46,401
At least we tried to make a
difference by supporting Senator...
429
00:20:46,485 --> 00:20:48,153
Senator...
430
00:20:48,236 --> 00:20:49,571
What was his name again?
431
00:20:49,654 --> 00:20:50,906
I don't remember.
432
00:20:50,989 --> 00:20:52,824
We never even
left this building.
433
00:20:52,908 --> 00:20:53,909
What?
434
00:20:53,992 --> 00:20:57,454
Nixon always wins!
435
00:20:57,537 --> 00:20:59,122
(HOWLING)