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Subs created by: David Coleman.
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♪ Two... two, three...
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Good news, everyone!
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Well? What is it?
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What is what?
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Oh! Right!
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Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be delivering
this mysterious crate to Peebles Alpha.
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Peebles Alpha? The planet
of gangs, thugs and hustlers?
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Ooh! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
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Hang on. If we're delivering a package
to criminals, I want to know what's in it.
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I have no idea, Leela.
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But I'll tell you the
same thing they told me...
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Stop asking questions, old man, and
we'll slip you an extra five grand
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that your crew doesn't
need to know about.
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Now, listen carefully.
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This planet is controlled
by two rival gangs...
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the Blips and the Cruds.
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You can tell them apart by
their colors... red and blue.
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Which gang's red, and which gang's blue?
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Both!
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The delivery is going to the
Blips, so when you meet them,
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you'll want to be wearing these jerseys.
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Not these jerseys.
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Because if you're wearing these,
you'll be killed on the spot.
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Okay, here are your jerseys.
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No, wait. Here.
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No. Wait...
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Does anyone else find
this delivery suspicious?
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Nope. He's too dumb, and I don't care.
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Well, I'm smart, and I care too much.
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I want to know what's in that crate.
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But we're not allowed to open it!
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I know that! Go get me a crowbar.
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Please, use mine.
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I just need it in case, uh, Fry gets
his head stuck in a pot of honey.
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And in the meantime, if I should happen
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to bump into the crate
and open it... whoopsie!
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Hey, Leela, Fry got his
head stuck in a pot of honey!
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Oh, bother.
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Not now!
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What is it? Alcohol? Tobacco? Firearms?
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Firearms!
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That's the one I was
secretly hoping for.
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I'm okay with most kinds of
violence, but not gang violence.
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Before we deliver these weapons,
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we're going to disable them
so they can never be used.
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Bender, bend the barrels.
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But I love guns!
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Then pretend they're little human necks.
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What?! Let me at 'em!
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A lot of ships get stolen on this planet,
so, Bender, stay here and stand guard.
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Okay. I hope I never see you again.
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Uh, I don't like the looks of
this gang-infested neighborhood.
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There might be spiders!
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We must have made a wrong turn.
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We should have reached Blip turf by now.
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You think we walked
straight out of Blipton?
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Wait, there's some Blips.
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Those aren't Blips! They're Cruds!
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They have the red on the left.
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Oh, no! What should we do?
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Leela, this is no time
to show me your boobs!
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Turn your jersey inside out.
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Oh. Show me again.
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Yo, what you doing on our turf?
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Chill, dawg. Ain't no thang.
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We Cruds.
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Well, we Blips, and we over here.
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We put up that mirror because
this is a blind intersection.
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It's considerably reduced
the number of accidents.
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It don't do nothing for
the murder rate, though.
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Now get down on your knees so
we can blow your Crud brains out!
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Um, Leela, remember when
we were trying to guess
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what would happen if someone
stuck a gun in my face,
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and you said I'd probably crap my pants?
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- Well...
- Excuse me, Sir?
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We're not actually Blips or Cruds.
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We're delivery people,
here to deliver this crate.
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So if everything seems to be in
order, we'll be on our way, a'ight?
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Oh, it's far from a'ight.
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Now, hold up!
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It's a'ight, all right?
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It's a Crud, and he's got a gun!
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Yo, you just shot your own
reflection in the mirror.
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It was self-defense.
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We are the Cruds, but we're over here.
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And don't shoot. That
crate is a gift from us.
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- What?!
- Huh?
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For real?
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There's been enough
violence on these streets.
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Too many lives and mirrors
have been shattered.
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So, yo, we sent you a crate
of weapons as a sign of trust.
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Together, we can use them to rid
our streets of the real enemy.
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- Giant spiders.
- I knew it!
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Man, that's a nice gesture.
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We accept your offer of peace.
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Let's just have a look at
these top-quality weapons.
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I'll test it out on
that innocent bystander.
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Ow!
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Yo, you just shot yourself again!
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It's a trick! Get 'em!
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Ow. Oh.
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Look, let's just agree
that gang violence
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is an important issue
with no easy answers.
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Okay.
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Anyway, the ship's still here.
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- And nothing was stolen.
- Yeah it was!
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I got bot-jacked!
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All I have left is my cigar.
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Wait...
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They stole everything
except my mouth and eyes.
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I guess they didn't like
all my screaming and winking.
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It's just lucky Bender
had a RoJack installed.
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When I activate it, the police
should be able to locate him.
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Locating... locating...
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Located.
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It's a robot chop shop.
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That's some primordial evil.
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This Skell here buys stolen
robots, strips 'em down,
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and sells the parts all over the galaxy.
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Okay, I'm getting a signal
from Bender's RoJack.
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Naw, it's just a piece of junk.
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That's not junk! That's Bender's head!
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My head?! Slap me upside it!
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Ah, home, sweet head.
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That's it? Where's the rest of him?
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All other parts sold.
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But I have list of buyers.
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You drop charges, I give you list.
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No dice. Justice don't work that way.
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Wait. Wait.
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What if I throw in giant
robot head for nice officer?
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Hmm...
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Thanks for all your help, officer!
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My pleasure.
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Boy, Bender, you sure
were chock full of parts.
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I didn't even know you had a wishbone.
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I had a lot of magic things.
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And we'll never get them all back.
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Oh, sure we will.
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If we live a really long time.
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Let's get started.
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Come in, come in.
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Close the door. You're
letting the smut out.
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All right, buddy.
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We know for a fact that
you received a stolen item.
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A certain sensitive part of my Anatomy.
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What, you mean your antenna?
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Shh! Watch your language.
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This ain't a church, lady.
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Except for tax purposes.
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Anyway, I can't help you.
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One of my customers already
bought your friend's antenna.
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Oh, excuse me... Robo-Dong.
155
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Who was it? Can you give us a name?
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Certainly not.
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I could never betray
a customer's privacy.
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All I can give you is this naked
picture of him taken from my toilet cam.
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I'll get right to the point, Senator.
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You purchased our friend's...
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Antenna.
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We'd like it back.
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You may have it. I'm through with it.
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It has done everything
and everyone imaginable.
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You may want to get it disinfected.
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Can do.
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Sorry, guys, I'm gonna
have to confiscate your keg.
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It's my body.
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Oh, come on, Bender! Can you
at least wait till it's empty?
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Fair enough. Fry, beer me.
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It's empty!
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I'm 40% back, baby!
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Sorry, but these robot arms have
brought me nothing but luck...
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With the cards...
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And with the ladies.
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Sir!
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But those are my arms!
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That's Gropey, and that's Cheaty.
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Cheaty?!
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Now, gentlemen, I'm sure we can...
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Oh!
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Well, then, I'll just collect
my winnings and be on my...
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Oh!
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00:09:55,923 --> 00:09:58,383
Much obliged.
185
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:05,451
All right, Tinny, your double
leg transplant is complete.
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What do you say you give 'em a try?
187
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It's a miracle! I can walk!
188
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No more crutch or withered leg!
189
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Someone's sure to adopt me now!
190
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:25,857
Well, Bender, I guess you
won't be getting your legs back.
191
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:31,758
But your sacrifice will let an innocent
child live a full and happy life.
192
00:10:33,203 --> 00:10:34,933
I'm sorry. You were saying something?
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Oh, crumb.
194
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:40,749
I guess it's back to the cart for me.
195
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,581
Ooh, nice cart.
196
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:49,605
Hey, this thing's pretty smooth.
197
00:10:49,606 --> 00:10:52,951
Eh, but I still prefer walking.
198
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:56,021
Well, we did it... we got
all Bender's parts back.
199
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:57,639
Wrong as always, Fry!
200
00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:00,692
I'm still missing the
shiniest metal piece of all.
201
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:01,826
Your thyroid?
202
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,610
No! I'm talking about my ass!
203
00:11:04,611 --> 00:11:08,991
Huh. I never even knew you had an ass.
204
00:11:10,165 --> 00:11:16,065
Hmm. According to this, it shipped out on
a freighter from South Street Spaceport.
205
00:11:18,492 --> 00:11:20,879
Oh, yes, I remember that ass.
206
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,514
Let's see...
207
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,366
Oh, God, no!
208
00:11:24,367 --> 00:11:27,176
It was on board the Floatwell!
209
00:11:27,177 --> 00:11:30,055
The ship that sank in
that horrible space storm?
210
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:33,392
Yes. I'm afraid your friend's
derriere is lost forever
211
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:36,158
in the depths of the Sargaseous Sea.
212
00:11:36,159 --> 00:11:37,378
My ass!
213
00:11:37,379 --> 00:11:39,498
Sweet love of my life!
214
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:43,034
Several hundred people
died, too, including my wife.
215
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:45,135
My ass!
216
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:46,752
I'm sorry, buddy.
217
00:11:46,753 --> 00:11:48,273
Maybe we can get you a new one.
218
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:49,541
Never!
219
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,710
My ass is my soul mate.
220
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,778
It even has its own hind-brain.
221
00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:56,218
Really? Your butt can think?
222
00:11:56,219 --> 00:11:58,305
No. But it can feel.
223
00:11:58,306 --> 00:12:01,134
And right now, it's hind-heartbroken!
224
00:12:01,135 --> 00:12:03,655
Just like me!
225
00:12:04,316 --> 00:12:08,594
Wow, Bender, this is really
important to you, isn't it?
226
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,417
Uh-huh.
227
00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:16,318
Okay, we're gonna find that shipwreck
and get you your backside back.
228
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,770
Okay, let's go.
229
00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:35,486
The ship carrying Bender's heinie
sank in the treacherous gases
230
00:12:35,487 --> 00:12:37,084
of the Sargaseous Sea.
231
00:12:37,085 --> 00:12:39,089
Once we locate the wreck...
232
00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:41,310
Asteroids!
233
00:12:46,498 --> 00:12:48,493
Curse this interstellar fog.
234
00:12:48,494 --> 00:12:51,369
Why isn't there a lighthouse
to guide us away from the rocks?
235
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:56,410
I don't know, but look
out for that lighthouse!
236
00:13:05,183 --> 00:13:08,121
So you're alive, are ye?
237
00:13:08,122 --> 00:13:10,988
I suppose you'll be wanting
to keep your tooth fillin's.
238
00:13:10,989 --> 00:13:12,105
Are ye hurt?
239
00:13:12,106 --> 00:13:15,533
No, but we could use a hug.
240
00:13:15,534 --> 00:13:18,774
Better come inside then.
241
00:13:20,724 --> 00:13:22,145
Name's Tarquin.
242
00:13:22,146 --> 00:13:26,675
Been alone here, tending this
light, longer'n I can remember.
243
00:13:26,676 --> 00:13:28,301
That'll be my Cup-a-Soup.
244
00:13:28,302 --> 00:13:31,381
It's been microwavin'
longer'n I can remember.
245
00:13:31,382 --> 00:13:32,982
This is a dangerous coast.
246
00:13:32,983 --> 00:13:35,451
We didn't see your light
until it was too late.
247
00:13:35,452 --> 00:13:38,287
No beam can pierce that devilish mist.
248
00:13:38,288 --> 00:13:42,458
Shipwrecks be so common, I make a good
living out of whatever washes ashore.
249
00:13:42,459 --> 00:13:44,994
Found me a whole Blue Man Group once.
250
00:13:44,995 --> 00:13:46,729
So you have two jobs?
251
00:13:46,730 --> 00:13:52,168
More. I also salvage the wrecks with
my bathysphere, and I'm a butcher,
252
00:13:52,169 --> 00:13:54,737
if you like blue meat.
253
00:13:54,738 --> 00:13:57,240
Sounds good, but about
that bathysphere...
254
00:13:57,241 --> 00:14:01,144
We want to salvage a cargo ship that
sank carrying this robot's rear end.
255
00:14:01,145 --> 00:14:04,780
Aye, I'll help ye for
a cut of the booty.
256
00:14:04,781 --> 00:14:07,583
Now, when you say a cut of the booty...
257
00:14:07,584 --> 00:14:10,353
I mean a percentage of the
value of the recovered goods.
258
00:14:10,354 --> 00:14:11,854
Now be getting some rest.
259
00:14:11,855 --> 00:14:15,575
The booty call is at daybreak.
260
00:15:09,513 --> 00:15:12,047
Those sound like
one-eyed corpse screams.
261
00:15:12,048 --> 00:15:16,308
Oh, I wish I was down there with ye.
262
00:15:17,660 --> 00:15:19,422
Let's not forget that this shipwreck
263
00:15:19,423 --> 00:15:23,326
is also the final resting
place of this brave Captain.
264
00:15:23,327 --> 00:15:24,760
Place your bets.
265
00:15:24,761 --> 00:15:26,681
Whee!
266
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,665
That's it. I'm sure!
267
00:15:36,666 --> 00:15:40,481
I can tell by the words on the crate!
268
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,357
Oh, my beloved.
269
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:45,058
You complete me.
270
00:15:52,973 --> 00:15:54,527
Hurry on inside now.
271
00:15:54,528 --> 00:15:55,717
Storm's a-brewin'.
272
00:15:55,718 --> 00:16:00,218
I can feel it in my weather channel app.
273
00:16:01,450 --> 00:16:03,276
Soon the sea will be belchin'
274
00:16:03,277 --> 00:16:05,113
her dead upon the shore.
275
00:16:05,114 --> 00:16:11,014
If ye like your shoes unmatched and with
feet still in 'em, this is your night.
276
00:16:14,439 --> 00:16:16,589
Can't you make the beacon any brighter?
277
00:16:16,590 --> 00:16:19,958
Nay, 'tis already the brightest
object in the known Universe,
278
00:16:19,959 --> 00:16:21,770
and even so, it can't be seen
279
00:16:21,771 --> 00:16:26,031
three feet away in a storm like this.
280
00:16:30,637 --> 00:16:33,696
I thought we were near the rocks,
but I don't see the lighthouse,
281
00:16:33,697 --> 00:16:36,807
so everything is fine and we can relax.
282
00:16:36,808 --> 00:16:40,513
All hands on deck for Mojitos.
283
00:16:40,514 --> 00:16:43,816
The important thing is I
got my final piece back.
284
00:16:43,817 --> 00:16:47,520
Hey, Fry, take a picture of me
biting my own shiny metal ass.
285
00:16:47,521 --> 00:16:50,221
I'd be honored.
286
00:16:59,047 --> 00:17:00,042
Ah.
287
00:17:00,043 --> 00:17:04,183
You muddled the mint well, Alejandro.
288
00:17:06,090 --> 00:17:07,922
The lighthouse! Dead ahead!
289
00:17:07,923 --> 00:17:09,783
Aye!
290
00:17:15,014 --> 00:17:17,650
Well, I'm sure Bender's fanny is tired.
291
00:17:17,651 --> 00:17:21,180
As soon as this storm
passes, let's be on our way.
292
00:17:21,181 --> 00:17:25,324
Sargaseous lighthouse, this
is the S.S. Miami Muy Caliente.
293
00:17:25,325 --> 00:17:27,326
Thank you for your glorious beacon.
294
00:17:27,327 --> 00:17:30,752
It saved our lives
and our Saturday night.
295
00:17:30,753 --> 00:17:32,733
Adios.
296
00:17:35,198 --> 00:17:36,702
Your aft-plate.
297
00:17:36,703 --> 00:17:40,079
Its fiery gleam saved a ship
full of South Beach swabbies.
298
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:44,050
Well, I do polish it every day,
and I sleep in a chamois diaper.
299
00:17:44,051 --> 00:17:47,747
It's a hundred times more reflective
than the mirror in my beacon.
300
00:17:47,748 --> 00:17:49,982
Might I keep it for the lighthouse?
301
00:17:49,983 --> 00:17:51,484
What?! No!
302
00:17:51,485 --> 00:17:54,459
But, Bender, your
buttocks could save lives.
303
00:17:54,460 --> 00:17:55,888
I hate lives!
304
00:17:55,889 --> 00:17:58,023
These are sailors' lives, Bender.
305
00:17:58,024 --> 00:18:01,694
Think of the untold cursing that
would be lost to future generations.
306
00:18:01,695 --> 00:18:05,055
Could you live with that?
307
00:18:06,011 --> 00:18:10,391
You know the answer, you scurvy bastard!
308
00:18:10,404 --> 00:18:14,540
Maybe I have been selfish,
hiding my ass under a bushel.
309
00:18:14,541 --> 00:18:19,914
Perhaps, like all great men, my
ass has a destiny, and if it does,
310
00:18:19,915 --> 00:18:23,395
I can't stand in its way.
311
00:19:00,450 --> 00:19:02,455
Bender, come join us.
312
00:19:02,456 --> 00:19:04,289
We're watching Rear Window.
313
00:19:04,290 --> 00:19:07,292
I used to stick my rear out the window.
314
00:19:07,293 --> 00:19:10,429
If you prefer, we could
watch Behind the Music.
315
00:19:10,430 --> 00:19:12,898
My behind used to make music.
316
00:19:12,899 --> 00:19:14,266
Backdraft is on.
317
00:19:14,267 --> 00:19:16,604
Even my ass wouldn't watch that.
318
00:19:16,605 --> 00:19:19,739
Bender, I'm proud of you
for the sacrifice you made.
319
00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:23,175
Try and find solace in the
fact that somewhere out there,
320
00:19:23,176 --> 00:19:26,656
your keister is doing good.
321
00:19:32,094 --> 00:19:35,792
Well, my shiny friend, yer
days of carousin' are over.
322
00:19:35,793 --> 00:19:40,192
But yer nights of endless,
monotonous rotating have just begun.
323
00:19:40,193 --> 00:19:42,628
Now what say I read you a nice passage
324
00:19:42,629 --> 00:19:48,029
from the scripture to help
you forget yer old master?
325
00:19:51,170 --> 00:19:55,508
In the sanctuary, he made
two cherubim of olive-wood.
326
00:19:55,509 --> 00:19:57,877
Each ten cubits high.
327
00:19:57,878 --> 00:20:00,212
And one wing measured five cubits,
328
00:20:00,213 --> 00:20:05,793
and the other wing measured
five cubits; From the tip...
329
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:15,460
Oh, no!
330
00:20:15,461 --> 00:20:20,081
Our son Johnny fell
down the gravity well!
331
00:20:23,804 --> 00:20:26,564
Thank you, Assie.
332
00:20:35,841 --> 00:20:38,961
Bender? It's for you.
333
00:20:41,934 --> 00:20:43,769
Assie?
334
00:20:43,770 --> 00:20:47,070
Oh Assie! You came home.
335
00:20:47,227 --> 00:20:49,807
You came home.
336
00:20:49,819 --> 00:20:55,719
Sync & corrections by P2Pfiend.
Www.Addic7ed.Com.