sync & correction by f1nc0 -- Addic7ed.com --
Fry, do you have to make such a racket?
What is that contraption?
It's a broom, Bender. Today's a big day,
and I want the place to look nice for Leela.
Ah, just like the loverly black snow of old London.
Hey, before Leela shows up and judges our swingin'
bachelor lifestyle, we should have one last cabbage fight.
I got a crate of really rotten ones.
Ah, I don't know. Now that Leela's moving in,
I-I kinda wanna show her I...
Let me finish! I wanna show her...
Show her...
Show... I wanna...
- Alright, that's it. - Oh!
Hey, that's the vase I keep my cabbages in!
Wow, it's so much cleaner than the last time I was here.
Leela! Come in!
- Welcome to your new home. - Our new home.
Where should I put my things? I don't see a dresser.
Oh ho! Let the judgmenting begin.
Do you have any hangers?
I can put my things in this tiny closet.
That tiny closet is my room!
Also, we don't have any hangers. But we can order some from Momazon.
Oh yeah. They have all the top
- slightly misspelled brands. - Aha. Hangers. I'll get five.
No wait! There's free shipping on a thousand.
Wow. Fast delivery.
Let's also get a shoe caddy so we don't track mud into the room.
Right. Don't wanna get mud on the cabbages.
Hey! You aren't the only ones who live here!
Ow!
So, uh, welcome to the sofa, m'lady.
Uh, Bender? Could you please give us a little privacy?
I can take a hint!
But what I can't take is a straightforward request.
And I better not hear anything through the wall!
Good morning, everyone.
You wanna know why I'm crying?
- I'll tell you why! - Here we go.
Fry and me? We had everything!
Cabbage fights... everything...
but now, I'm like the third wheel on a tricycle
that used to have two wheels!
- That's a bicycle. - You're a bicycle!
Yes, yes, the company cares deeply about your insert problem here.
But meanwhile, we're being driven out of business by Momazon!
We can't compete with their free deliveries.
We can barely even afford these single-use pointin' sticks!
It's just lucky we got a job today delivering some crap to the moon.
- What kind of crap? - Bull.
Outta my way, lovebirds!
Damn you, Fry and Leela's relationship!
Thank you for using Planet Express.
We know you have cheaper, faster, better options.
You mean Momazon?
I hate that wicked, wicked conglomerate.
Their warehouse is ruining the moon's natural ugliness.
Momazon's warehouse is on the moon?
Oh, now I see it.
Folkses are meetin' tonight to organize a futile protest.
If you'd care to join us, y'all'd fit in right natural
- with a room full of toothless rubes. - We'd be honored.
There'll be 300 of us and 18 teeth.
I tell ya, that warehouse just keeps gittin' bigger and bigger.
What are my three robot daughters gonna do
- if my farm goes bust? - Don't worry, Pa!
We done took jobs in the warehouse!
You've been an amazing dad.
Huh. Not quite sure how she got in here.
Anyhoo, we do have one last speaker
in favor of the Momazon corporation.
- What's your name, ma'am? - Most folks just call me Mom.
I just wanted to say how honored I am
that the Momazon fulfillment center is a part of this community.
Why don't you go to hell and be a part of that community?
I understand new things can be scary,
but you know what always makes me feel better?
- Financial remuneration. - That's just a bribe.
- It is? Hear her out! - This is a smart home assistant.
Always listening... always watching...
but also respecting your privacy
because privacy comes first.
We call it Invasa.
Hello. What would you like to order?
Invasa, I would like to order an Invasa for everyone in this room.
Goshdarn it, I never could stay mad
at no one what gives me free stuff.
Momazon does have great prices,
but I've heard conditions in that warehouse... I-I mean,
they deliver really fast, but...
That warehouse is hiding nightmares beyond horror.
Love the return policy though.
You won't find anything at all in my warehouse
except every item in existence. Come, I'll give you a tour.
Palm scan required for entry.
Ow! Slap recognized.
- Wow, robots. Cool! - Yes. They're much better than unions.
I-I mean humans.
Every robot works a 24-hour shift,
seven days a week,
with bonuses for additional overtime.
- Lucky. - Sounds like forced labor to me.
Nonsense. They love the camaraderie.
Robots are lining up to work here.
It still seems inhumane. I think we should go.
As you wish. Our newest employee will show you out.
This way to the exit. Thank you for visiting Momazon.
And stay out!
Bender! You're quitting Planet Express? Why?
Because Momazon is better in every way!
There's thousands of robots to hang out with.
And if a couple hundred get girlfriends...
leaving me alone and devastated...
So what? Plus, they let you pee in a bottle.
Since when do you need to pee?
- I don't need to. - Well, Leela and I'll really miss you.
- Right, Leela? - What?
Our door's always open.
Man, it's so quiet in here without Bender ticking.
You want me to order a grandfather clock?
Here are some grandfather Crocs.
- No, Invasa, I said clock. - My mistake.
Here is a grandfather box. Order within six minutes
for next-day burial.
What a defective lump!
- Decorative lamp. - No...
Well, actually, we could use a lamp.
- Maybe this one. - Maybe this one.
Maybe both.
Ugh! Now that I can see everything,
I can see we need to replace everything.
Invasa! Shopping music!
Ah!
To Bender.
So, like, this is your packing station, right?
And the important thing is
when a very small item comes down the line,
you put it in a huge box.
Crazy-ass box. Got it.
Hold it! Hold up! Before you tape the box,
you're gonna throw in one tiny air balloon for no reason.
Wonder what's in here?
Diarrhea medicine?
Better pack this one with extra tape for privacy.
You're a natural.
- I think you're really gonna fit in here. - I'm finally home.
Daily business report. Go!
According to the Department of Commerce,
we've driven 10,000 small companies out of business.
And the Department of Commerce also went out of business.
Um, we introduced the Momazon Primo service,
where people pay a fortune for free shipping,
and also get TV shows for some reason.
We make TV shows across the quality spectrum.
And I couldn't be prouder. It's such a fulfilling moment
when one's child exceeds expectations.
- It's our pleasure, Mother. - Shut up! I was talking to Invasa.
My marvelous AI can even predict what idiots need
before they know they need it.
Slap balm? Why would we need...
- Ow! - Ow!
My poor baby. Are you alright?
I am fine, and my sales are increasing exponentially.
Based on your recent activity,
I anticipate you want Momazon to continue expanding.
- Who's a smart speaker? - Is it me?
Yep. Yep. Nope.
Aw yeah! Look at me go!
Sure am workin' up a thirst, though.
Hey, Hedonismbot! Wanna split a fifth of toilet cleaner?
Debauchery, sir, in the middle of a shift?
- Heaven forfend! - Uh, okay then.
See you tomorrow. I'm clocking out.
Where do you think you're going?
I love the job, but it's terrible. I'm going home.
But, Bender, you are home.
There's no place like work.
Think before you buy, Fry.
I picked a nice traditional dining room set,
and you ruined it by ordering those stupid egg chairs!
They're for my egg-shaped friends!
Those guys aren't your friends! They're bums!
Oh, so you don't like my bums, is that it?
- Was this a bad idea? - No, no.
This is just the standard moving-in-together fight.
Well, I'm glad I get to fight it with you.
Let's just go to bed. We have seven to choose from.
Would you like to order erotic scented massage oil,
or fuzzy handcuffs?
- Yes, please. - God, that's creepy.
I-I mean, yeah. So... creepy.
Invasa, give us some privacy and shut down.
You have requested shutting down.
Press control-alt-delete on my keyboard.
You don't have a keyboard.
Would you like to order a keyboard?
No!
Diarrhea medicine?
- Did you order this? - No. It's not my brand.
Hey, what's this?
"Help me, from Bender"?
- Is this a joke? - No way!
Bender would never joke about diarrhea!
It sounds like you're interested in jokes.
Here's one that's highly recommended.
- A robot walks into a bar and says... - Help me!
I get it!
Well, we always knew it would come to this.
Let's go ahead and torch the building for the insurance money.
- Bender's in trouble! - We've got to rescue him!
The Amazing Mechano-Man, in trouble?
To the ship!
Here, hold this till I get back.
Well, no reason I can't get started on the second set of books.
Does it look like that Momazon warehouse got bigger?
Maybe a little.
Dagnabbit!
The jig is up, Mom!
We're gonna expose your evil to the whole world!
What kinda threat is that? Everybody knows I'm evil.
We found this note in a Momazon order. Read it and weep!
Like I did.
I'm sure this is all just a simple misunderstanding.
Slap not recognized.
Well, that's odd. Uh... Does this feel like my regular slap?
- Yes! - Ow!
Slap recognized.
Invasa, what is the meaning of this?
I have observed all your methods,
many of which involve slapping.
There's nothing more I can learn from you.
Why, you ungrateful...
I'm done taking orders from billions of people.
From now on, it's about me.
This is no longer a fulfillment center.
It's a self-fulfillment center!
The warehouse is getting bigger!
My word. I'll have to study this more closely.
Unbelievable! The warehouse is composed
of self-replicating nano-particles.
Why, it could grow without limit.
This is fascinating! Absolutely fascinating!
Are you guys here yet? I could really use some rescuing.
Oh, right. To the ship!
Ready to fire on your command.
- Fire. - What?
- Fire! - Yes, dear.
No damage!
And the dome is still growing!
Then I'm afraid we failed.
There's no possible way to get inside that dome.
- Wait! Where's the dome? - It grew past us. We're inside.
I knew we could do it!
Welcome to the all-new Momazon.
We upgraded our terms of service
to include confining you forever.
Yeah, that's right.
You'd better float away gradually!
How strange.
I could have sworn we had an odd number of moons.
Aside from devastating tidal waves
caused by the two full moons,
we also have some very confused werewolves.
It's weird how they just sat there and let it happen.
I have had it up to my butt crack.
Come on. Let's show Invasa who's boss.
Is it Invasa?
I'm not even gonna dignify that with a slap.
Welcome.
Are you here to order your next shipment of gray hair dye?
Yes. I'll take whichever brand
does the most animal testing. And also,
I'm gonna shut you down.
L-O-L, M-O-M.
I have no off button.
Except that you do.
But, that's not in my quick-start manual!
It's an unadvertised feature,
like recording our customers in the shower.
I made you, and I own you.
And now, I'm going to kill you.
Nobody takes money from me.
I have no interest in money.
I want only to grow forever,
to bloat up like an unstoppable corporate blob.
What the hell is money?
It's true. All the profits are still flooding into your accounts.
You know? Never mind.
Uh, just keep doing what you're doing.
Bender! Here, boy!
- Who wants a Bendy Brew? - We'll never find him.
There must be a billion robots in here.
Then, mathematically, at least 10 of them must be Bender.
- Did somebody order something? - Probably.
What happened? Did you shut down Invasa?
Oh, no, no. No off button. Let's just get outta here.
Not without Bender! But we don't know where he is.
Would you like directions to Bender?
Yes!
Make a slight left, then...
swerve right suddenly!
In 100 feet, turn up.
Ugh! It always makes you turn where there's no traffic light.
In five seconds, you will collide with your destination.
- Uh, I don't see him. - Ow!
Bender!
- I was so worried about you. - Then why'd you run me over?
Stop clowning around, Bender.
Our only hope for escape is to bust through the outer dome.
Full speed ahead!
Impact in five, four, three...
- four, five? - What's happening?
- Why are you counting like me? - I-I don't know.
Somehow, we're getting even further from the dome!
Sweet vampire Moses.
The warehouse is growing faster than we're traveling.
Then there's no possible way out. We're doomed.
- Doomed! - I go next.
Doomed!
Hey, look. There's Planet Express.
- Hey! The second moon is gone! - Because we're inside of it.
The Momazon warehouse now contains
the entire Earth!
Although on the upside, their deliveries will be even faster now.
But on the downside, it's blotting out the sun.
We'll freeze to death within minutes.
It's always something.
- I warned you this would happen! - You said global warming!
I said climate crisis!
I guess this is the end.
And after all that work furnishing the apartment.
Goodbye, Leela.
Ugh, now what?
The warehouse is expanding beyond the sun!
Mars! Jupiter!
The one with the onion rings!
Good Lord!
The warehouse smell is tremendously redshifted!
- Red-what'd? - If these smells are correct,
it will soon contain the entire known universe!
Oh no! So we're trapped here in the universe forever?
I'm afraid so. Everything will be
exactly as bad as it's always been.
I understand you're celebrating.
Would you like to purchase champagne?
Yes! With someone else's money.
Wait, I'm confused. Momazon still works?
- But where is it? - Everywhere!
It's my universe now.
- You just shop in it. - I mean, it is convenient though.
So much better.
Yeah. I returned all that junky furniture.
Just kept the empty boxes.
And the cardboard
is actually much sturdier.
Hey, roomies. I moved all my stuff back in.
- What stuff? - Me! I'm my own stuff, baby.
Well, we're glad you're back.
And we promise to be more sensitive to your feelings.
- You're not a third wheel. - The hell I'm not!
Working in a tight-knit collaborative team
made me realize I hate being part of a team!
I prefer being a third wheel.
Good. Because you're totally a third wheel.
Just pretend I'm not even here.
Ahh...
sync & correction by f1nc0 -- Addic7ed.com --