1 00:00:03,890 --> 00:00:10,050 ♪ But my life is a race, just a wild goose chase, ♪ 2 00:00:10,290 --> 00:00:17,930 ♪ And my dreams have all been denied... ♪ 3 00:00:18,690 --> 00:00:23,410 ♪ Why have I always been a failure? ♪ 4 00:00:23,730 --> 00:00:28,770 ♪ What can the reason be? ♪ 5 00:00:29,270 --> 00:00:34,230 ♪ I wonder if the world's to blame, ♪ 6 00:00:34,470 --> 00:00:40,930 ♪ I wonder if it could be me?... ♪ 7 00:00:42,930 --> 00:00:48,790 ♪ I'm always chasing rainbows, ♪ 8 00:00:49,110 --> 00:00:55,070 ♪ Watching clouds, drifting by ♪ 9 00:00:55,390 --> 00:01:00,910 ♪ My schemes are just like all my dreams, ♪ 10 00:01:01,450 --> 00:01:05,910 ♪ Ending in the sun... ♪ 11 00:01:05,910 --> 00:01:07,730 (firework explodes) 12 00:01:08,490 --> 00:01:12,830 ♪ Some fellows look and find the sunshine, ♪ 13 00:01:12,830 --> 00:01:18,590 ♪ I always look and find the rain ♪ 14 00:01:19,270 --> 00:01:23,950 ♪ Some fellows make a winning sometimes, ♪ 15 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:30,470 ♪ I never even make a gain, believe me... ♪ 16 00:01:32,070 --> 00:01:40,410 ♪ I'm always chasing rainbows, ♪ 17 00:01:40,910 --> 00:01:46,590 ♪ Waiting to find a little bluebird ♪ 18 00:01:46,592 --> 00:01:51,690 ♪ In vain~ ♪ 19 00:02:02,610 --> 00:02:04,450 (screaming) 20 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,110 - (Groans)... Huh? 21 00:02:07,110 --> 00:02:10,390 Oh– I'm alive! I'm alive! 22 00:02:11,150 --> 00:02:11,890 (tires screeching) *Not anymore! 23 00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:15,890 Travis: Heh. Thanks fer the fun time, hot stuff. 24 00:02:15,890 --> 00:02:18,990 Angel Dust: Yeah, yeah, listen. Keep this discreet, you hear me? 25 00:02:18,990 --> 00:02:22,610 I can't let it get out I'm offering my services to randos on the street. 26 00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:24,630 It was a quick cash grab, ya got it? 27 00:02:24,850 --> 00:02:27,210 - Pfft... whatever you say, slut! 28 00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:28,130 (chuckles) 29 00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:30,530 - (sarcastically) Ouch, ooh, such an insult! 30 00:02:30,530 --> 00:02:32,650 Let me know when you come up with something creative to call me, 31 00:02:32,650 --> 00:02:34,810 ya sack of poorly packaged horse shit. (Angel Dust... you're my fav...) 32 00:02:34,810 --> 00:02:37,710 Tell the misses I said hi... (kiss) schnookums~ 33 00:02:37,710 --> 00:02:38,650 - Sack of p...*Dog wines* 34 00:02:38,890 --> 00:02:40,190 *grumbling* *Dog yipping as he drives off* 35 00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:41,810 (car crashing) 36 00:02:50,390 --> 00:02:51,310 - YOINK! >:) - Hey! >:( 37 00:02:51,430 --> 00:02:53,070 - Up yours, drag show! 38 00:02:53,070 --> 00:02:54,450 *Crow caw as he is crushed* 39 00:02:54,450 --> 00:02:56,090 - (gasps) Oh my God! 40 00:02:57,790 --> 00:02:58,850 My drugs! :'( 41 00:02:58,850 --> 00:02:59,910 Damn it! >:( 42 00:02:59,910 --> 00:03:04,010 (lazers firing) 43 00:03:04,030 --> 00:03:08,430 Sir Pentious: (laughing maniacally) 44 00:03:08,590 --> 00:03:13,110 Those other cowardly sssinners dare not hinder my territorial takeover! 45 00:03:13,130 --> 00:03:16,910 A wise decision - the power of my machines are unmatched! 46 00:03:17,170 --> 00:03:20,783 No other demon can compare to the likesss of I! 47 00:03:20,790 --> 00:03:24,650 - Gee, that was pretty swell, boss. 48 00:03:25,050 --> 00:03:26,010 - Yeah! 49 00:03:26,010 --> 00:03:28,470 - You really showed them what for! 50 00:03:28,470 --> 00:03:31,090 I liked when you shot them with your ray gun. 51 00:03:31,230 --> 00:03:34,590 - I wish he'd shoot ME with his ray gun... : ( 52 00:03:35,570 --> 00:03:38,881 - ...At this rate, I will seize control of the entire 53 00:03:38,881 --> 00:03:41,530 west side of the Pentagram by day's end! 54 00:03:41,650 --> 00:03:45,690 And nothing, not a single beast in this inferno of suffering 55 00:03:45,690 --> 00:03:50,310 will be able to take back this empire from my conssstrictive grasp! 56 00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:50,810 Woo! 57 00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:51,890 *cork pops off* (Cheers M8) 58 00:03:51,890 --> 00:03:54,210 - Oh, BOY! 59 00:03:54,210 --> 00:03:55,850 - Hell will be mine, 60 00:03:55,850 --> 00:03:58,890 and everybody will know the name of Sir Pe-- 61 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,270 ???: EDGELORD! 62 00:04:00,270 --> 00:04:01,930 - Pardon?! Who said that?! 63 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,970 What did you just say to me, you fried chicken fetuses??? >:( 64 00:04:06,210 --> 00:04:09,590 Ssspeak up! -That wasn't us, Mr. Boss-man. 65 00:04:09,590 --> 00:04:10,330 (sizzling) 66 00:04:11,270 --> 00:04:12,050 (glass shattering) 67 00:04:15,410 --> 00:04:16,650 (trumpet faintly heard) 68 00:04:17,550 --> 00:04:19,350 (explosion) 69 00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:20,590 (hacking) 70 00:04:21,530 --> 00:04:25,730 Cherri Bomb: You looking for a fight, old man? 71 00:04:25,730 --> 00:04:30,150 Why don't you get that tinker toy BULLSHIT off my turf 72 00:04:30,150 --> 00:04:31,810 Before I SMASH it?! 73 00:04:32,670 --> 00:04:33,707 ...More. 74 00:04:33,710 --> 00:04:37,830 - Oh! You want to go, Missy? Well, I'm happy to oblige! 75 00:04:37,830 --> 00:04:40,110 (evil laughter) 76 00:04:42,870 --> 00:04:44,910 Katie Killjoy: Good afternoon, I'm Katie Killjoy. 77 00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,330 Tom Trench: And I'm Tom Trench. 78 00:04:46,332 --> 00:04:47,953 Chaos out of Pentagram City today 79 00:04:47,953 --> 00:04:49,910 as a turf war is raging on the west side; 80 00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:51,870 Between notable kingpin, Sir Pentious, 81 00:04:51,870 --> 00:04:55,170 and self-proclaimed spunky powerhouse, Cherri Bomb. 82 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,810 - That's right, Tom. After the recent extermination, 83 00:04:57,810 --> 00:05:00,050 many areas are now up for grabs! 84 00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,670 Demons all over Hell are already duking it out 85 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,450 to gain new territory. 86 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:07,090 - Those two seem to really be going at it, huh? 87 00:05:07,090 --> 00:05:09,690 - Looks like they're fighting tooth-and-nail for that hot spot. 88 00:05:09,690 --> 00:05:12,550 Tom: And I'd sure like to nail her hot spot! (pompous laugh) 89 00:05:12,550 --> 00:05:14,910 - You are a limp-dick jackass, Tom! 90 00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:17,310 Or should I say... no dick? 91 00:05:17,310 --> 00:05:17,810 - Ugh... Not again! 92 00:05:17,810 --> 00:05:20,230 - Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview (Tom whining) 93 00:05:20,230 --> 00:05:22,970 with the daughter of Hell's own head honcho, (Tom still whining) 94 00:05:22,970 --> 00:05:26,490 who's here to discuss her brand-new "passion project". (Still whining) 95 00:05:26,490 --> 00:05:28,930 All that and more, after the BREAK! 96 00:05:28,930 --> 00:05:29,830 ...Suck it up, you little bi-- 97 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,910 *cuts off-air* 98 00:05:32,030 --> 00:05:34,430 Vaggie: Okay. You remember what to say? 99 00:05:34,430 --> 00:05:35,610 *takes deep breath* 100 00:05:35,610 --> 00:05:37,390 Charlie: Yes! Let's do this! 101 00:05:37,390 --> 00:05:39,730 - Just look at me, and I'll mouth it to you. 102 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:42,910 - Come on, Vaggie, I know what to say! 103 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:46,150 I just feel like we need to- I don't know, 104 00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:48,990 make things sound more exciting? (gasp) Oooooh! 105 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,250 What if I si- - Sing a song about it? 106 00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:55,890 - You knew I was gonna say that... - Because I know you. 107 00:05:55,895 --> 00:05:58,753 But, please don't sing. This is serious! 108 00:05:58,753 --> 00:06:01,974 - Well, you know, I'm better at expressing myself 109 00:06:01,974 --> 00:06:03,730 and my goals through song! 110 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,910 - But life isn't a musical, hon. 111 00:06:05,910 --> 00:06:09,470 - Fine, but I have these other ideas of what to say. 112 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:12,170 The highlighted bits are the best parts~! 113 00:06:12,179 --> 00:06:14,330 - Uh... it's ALL highlighted. 114 00:06:14,930 --> 00:06:16,370 Is this a drawing? 115 00:06:16,370 --> 00:06:18,806 - Yes! That's the happy ending, see? 116 00:06:18,810 --> 00:06:21,510 Everyone's smiling and happy in Heaven. 117 00:06:21,630 --> 00:06:22,930 - I don't think it's that simple. 118 00:06:22,930 --> 00:06:26,690 Just PLEASE follow the talking points we went over. 119 00:06:27,030 --> 00:06:29,650 And Do. Not. Sing. 120 00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:32,150 - Okay, fine. 121 00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:33,970 (fake British accent) I'll just have to resort 122 00:06:33,970 --> 00:06:36,990 to my impeccable improv skills! 123 00:06:38,450 --> 00:06:40,830 Hi! I'm Charlie. 124 00:06:40,830 --> 00:06:43,030 - Katie Killjoy. 125 00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:46,530 I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you, but that would be a lie. 126 00:06:46,538 --> 00:06:49,652 You can put that away... I don't touch the gays. 127 00:06:49,652 --> 00:06:52,035 I have standards! - Yeah? 128 00:06:52,035 --> 00:06:54,510 How's, uh... how's that working out for ya? 129 00:06:54,510 --> 00:06:58,108 - Look, my time is money so I'll keep this short. 130 00:06:58,110 --> 00:07:00,410 You're not here because we wanted you here. 131 00:07:00,410 --> 00:07:04,450 You're here because Jeffrey couldn't make it for his cannibal cooking segment. 132 00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:08,230 You might be some royal big shot, but that doesn't mean shit to me. 133 00:07:08,230 --> 00:07:11,310 I'm too rich and too influential to give a flying fuck 134 00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:13,950 About what some tux-wearing demon "princess" 135 00:07:13,950 --> 00:07:15,350 wants to advertise! 136 00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:17,110 - But I-- - So don't get cute with me honey, 137 00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:19,150 or I will fucking BURY you. 138 00:07:19,150 --> 00:07:20,230 - And we're live! 139 00:07:20,230 --> 00:07:22,770 - Welcome back! So Charlotte, 140 00:07:23,430 --> 00:07:24,770 - It's Charlie. 141 00:07:24,770 --> 00:07:28,025 - Whatever. Tell us about this new passion project you've been 142 00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:30,668 insistently pestering our news station about! 143 00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:33,250 Charlie: Well... (clears throat) 144 00:07:34,590 --> 00:07:37,750 As most of you know, I was born here in Hell and, 145 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:40,034 growing up, I always tried to see the good 146 00:07:40,034 --> 00:07:41,630 in everything around me. 147 00:07:42,330 --> 00:07:45,490 Hell is my home, and you are my people. 148 00:07:45,490 --> 00:07:49,050 We-- we just went through another extermination. 149 00:07:49,430 --> 00:07:52,470 We lost so many souls, and it breaks my heart 150 00:07:52,470 --> 00:07:55,590 to see my people being slaughtered every year, 151 00:07:55,590 --> 00:07:57,950 and no one is even given a chance! 152 00:07:57,950 --> 00:07:59,930 I can't stand idly by 153 00:07:59,930 --> 00:08:03,490 while the place I live is subjected to such violence! 154 00:08:03,490 --> 00:08:06,370 So, I've been thinking... 155 00:08:06,370 --> 00:08:11,090 ...isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? 156 00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:16,310 Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through… 157 00:08:16,310 --> 00:08:18,010 redemption? 158 00:08:18,010 --> 00:08:19,530 Well, I think yes! 159 00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:21,970 So that's what this project aims to achieve. 160 00:08:22,270 --> 00:08:26,650 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm opening the first of its kind, 161 00:08:26,650 --> 00:08:30,090 a hotel that rehabilitates sinners! 162 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,070 ...You know, 163 00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:40,130 'cause hotels are for people passing through…temporarily... 164 00:08:40,130 --> 00:08:44,001 - Whehehaha! Is this girl fer real? 165 00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:47,113 She thinks-- you hear what she thinks? 166 00:08:47,113 --> 00:08:50,070 She th-- ha ha! Ohh, she's nuts. 167 00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:51,990 - I figure it would serve a purpose, 168 00:08:52,390 --> 00:08:56,190 a place to work towards redemption... 169 00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:57,650 Yay...? 170 00:08:58,470 --> 00:08:59,550 *eerie radio buzz* 171 00:08:59,810 --> 00:09:01,410 Cameraman: (tsk) Stupid bitch. 172 00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:06,210 - Look, every single one of you 173 00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:08,810 has something good deep down inside. 174 00:09:09,190 --> 00:09:11,230 I- I know you do! 175 00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:14,270 Maybe I'm not getting through to you... 176 00:09:14,710 --> 00:09:15,830 - Oh, no... 177 00:09:16,270 --> 00:09:16,770 (snap) 178 00:09:18,770 --> 00:09:20,530 *radio click* 179 00:09:20,530 --> 00:09:23,950 ♪ I have a dream, I'm here to tell, ♪ 180 00:09:23,950 --> 00:09:27,390 ♪ About a wonderful, fantastic new hotel ♪ 181 00:09:27,390 --> 00:09:31,030 ♪ Yes, it's one of a kind, right here in Hell, ♪ 182 00:09:31,030 --> 00:09:33,890 ♪ Catering to a specific clientele~ ♪ 183 00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:36,170 - (harmonizing) 184 00:09:36,470 --> 00:09:38,950 ♪ Inside of every demon is a rainbow, ♪ 185 00:09:38,950 --> 00:09:41,430 ♪ Inside every sinner is a shiny smile, ♪ 186 00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:44,310 ♪ Inside of every creepy, hatchet-wielding maniac ♪ 187 00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:47,194 ♪ is a jolly, happy, cupcake-loving child~ ♪ 188 00:09:47,194 --> 00:09:48,566 ♪ We can turn around, ♪ 189 00:09:48,566 --> 00:09:49,938 ♪ They'll be Heaven-bound, ♪ 190 00:09:49,938 --> 00:09:51,728 ♪ With just a little time down ♪ 191 00:09:51,730 --> 00:09:54,410 ♪ At the Happy Hotel~ ♪ 192 00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:56,670 ♪ So all you junkies, freaks, and weirdos, ♪ 193 00:09:56,670 --> 00:09:57,970 ♪ Creepers, fuck-ups, crooks, and zeros, ♪ 194 00:09:57,970 --> 00:09:59,350 ♪ And the fallen superheroes, ♪ 195 00:09:59,359 --> 00:10:00,597 ♪ Help is here! ♪ 196 00:10:00,597 --> 00:10:01,928 ♪ All of you cretins, sluts, and losers, ♪ 197 00:10:01,930 --> 00:10:03,410 ♪ Sexual deviants and boozers, ♪ 198 00:10:03,410 --> 00:10:04,590 ♪ And prescription drug abusers ♪ 199 00:10:04,597 --> 00:10:05,928 ♪ Need not fear! ♪ 200 00:10:05,928 --> 00:10:07,310 ♪ Forever again, ♪ 201 00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:08,505 ♪ We'll cure your sin, ♪ 202 00:10:08,505 --> 00:10:09,863 ♪ We'll make you well, ♪ 203 00:10:09,863 --> 00:10:11,288 ♪ You'll feel so swell, ♪ 204 00:10:11,288 --> 00:10:12,935 ♪ Right here in HELL ♪ 205 00:10:12,935 --> 00:10:16,618 ♪ At the Happy Hotel~ ♪ 206 00:10:16,618 --> 00:10:20,250 ♪ There'll be no more fire, and no more screams, ♪ 207 00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:23,701 ♪ Just puppy dog kisses and cotton candy dreams, ♪ 208 00:10:23,701 --> 00:10:25,304 ♪ And puffy-wuffy clouds~ ♪ 209 00:10:25,304 --> 00:10:27,125 ♪ You're gonna be like, "Wow!" ♪ 210 00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:33,190 ♪ Once you check in with meee-e-e~ ♪ 211 00:10:33,430 --> 00:10:34,690 ♪ So all your cartoon porn addictions, ♪ 212 00:10:34,690 --> 00:10:36,030 ♪ Vegan rants, psychic predictions, ♪ 213 00:10:36,030 --> 00:10:37,310 ♪ Ancient Roman crucifixions ♪ 214 00:10:37,310 --> 00:10:38,490 ♪ End right here! ♪ 215 00:10:38,490 --> 00:10:39,850 ♪ All you monsters, thieves, and crazies, ♪ 216 00:10:39,850 --> 00:10:41,170 ♪ Cannibals and crying babies, ♪ 217 00:10:41,170 --> 00:10:42,510 ♪ Frothing mouthers full of rabies ♪ 218 00:10:42,510 --> 00:10:43,690 ♪ Fill with cheer! ♪ 219 00:10:43,690 --> 00:10:44,899 ♪ You'll be complete, ♪ 220 00:10:44,899 --> 00:10:46,030 ♪ It'll be so neat, ♪ 221 00:10:46,030 --> 00:10:47,190 ♪ Our service can't be beat, ♪ 222 00:10:47,190 --> 00:10:48,810 ♪ You'll be on Easy Street-- Yes! ♪ 223 00:10:48,810 --> 00:10:50,230 ♪ Life will be sweet ♪ 224 00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:53,870 ♪ At the Happy Hotel~! ♪ 225 00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,510 (crescendo) 226 00:10:55,630 --> 00:10:56,430 Yeah! 227 00:10:56,430 --> 00:10:57,510 (heavy breathing) 228 00:10:58,030 --> 00:11:00,570 (utter silence) 229 00:11:00,570 --> 00:11:02,200 - Wow... 230 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:03,610 ...that was shit! 231 00:11:03,610 --> 00:11:09,110 (laughter) 232 00:11:09,350 --> 00:11:10,670 - Booo. 233 00:11:10,790 --> 00:11:13,030 Katie: What in the Nine Circles 234 00:11:13,030 --> 00:11:15,583 makes you think a single denizen of Hell 235 00:11:15,590 --> 00:11:19,596 would give TWO SHITS about becoming a better person?! 236 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:23,250 You have no proof that this little experiment even works! 237 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:27,030 You want people to be good, just... BECAUSE? 238 00:11:27,030 --> 00:11:29,663 - Well, we have a patron already, 239 00:11:29,663 --> 00:11:33,167 who believes in our cause, and he's shown incredible progress! 240 00:11:33,167 --> 00:11:36,135 - Oh? And who might THAT be? 241 00:11:36,135 --> 00:11:40,590 - Oh, just someone named... Angel Dust! 242 00:11:40,590 --> 00:11:43,630 - The porn star? - You fucking would, Tom. 243 00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:47,730 In any case, that's not even an accomplishment. 244 00:11:47,730 --> 00:11:49,970 I'm sure you can get that hooker to do anything 245 00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:51,850 with enough booger-sugar and lube! 246 00:11:52,050 --> 00:11:57,670 - Oh, I beg to differ. He's been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for two weeks now. 247 00:11:57,890 --> 00:12:00,030 - Breaking news! 248 00:12:00,590 --> 00:12:01,801 - We are receiving word 249 00:12:01,801 --> 00:12:04,701 that a new player has entered the ongoing turf war! 250 00:12:04,710 --> 00:12:06,550 Let's go to the live feed. 251 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:09,510 - (laughter) 252 00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:10,370 - Oh shit. 253 00:12:11,110 --> 00:12:12,710 - "Oh shit" indeed! 254 00:12:12,710 --> 00:12:14,710 It looks like the one who just joined the battle 255 00:12:14,710 --> 00:12:19,103 is none other than (gasp) porn actor Angel Dust! *Angel... why?!* 256 00:12:19,103 --> 00:12:21,865 What a juicy coincidence! 257 00:12:21,870 --> 00:12:24,310 You must feel really stupid right now. 258 00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:26,330 - (both) Ha-ha-ha-ha! 259 00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:28,010 - ♪ Ratings~! ♪ 260 00:12:28,090 --> 00:12:30,090 - (gasp) DON'T LOOK AT THIS! 261 00:12:30,094 --> 00:12:33,936 - Well, it sure looks like your little project is dead on arrival. 262 00:12:33,936 --> 00:12:37,130 Tell us, how does it feel to be such a total failure? 263 00:12:37,130 --> 00:12:39,070 (laughter) 264 00:12:39,270 --> 00:12:42,950 - Yeah, well... how does it feel that I got your pen, huh?! 265 00:12:42,950 --> 00:12:43,830 B I T C H 266 00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:44,890 (menacing chord) 267 00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:47,190 Heh-heh... oops. 268 00:12:49,230 --> 00:12:50,410 (monstrous roar) 269 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,510 Cherri Bomb: Hey! Thanks for the backup, Angie. 270 00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,270 Angel Dust: Hahaha, you kiddin'? 271 00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:56,970 This is the best action I've seen in ages. 272 00:12:56,970 --> 00:12:58,390 - Where you been anyway? 273 00:12:58,390 --> 00:13:00,230 I thought you up and died or some shit. 274 00:13:00,230 --> 00:13:04,786 - Oh, I wish. I've been staying at this crappy hotel on the other side of town. 275 00:13:04,790 --> 00:13:08,250 Some broads are letting me stay rent-free if I play nice. 276 00:13:09,910 --> 00:13:11,750 (groans) Y'know, no fights, 277 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:15,550 no pranks, no "problematic language"-- Her words, not mine. 278 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:19,850 These crazy bitches are no fun! I've been clean fer two weeks! 279 00:13:19,850 --> 00:13:23,069 - Holy shit. - ...Well, sorta clean. 280 00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:25,588 Just clean as you can get while doing a shitload 281 00:13:25,590 --> 00:13:27,650 of Bolivian marching powder! 282 00:13:29,370 --> 00:13:31,590 Ooh! Harder, daddy~ 283 00:13:31,990 --> 00:13:32,670 (gasp) Son?! 284 00:13:34,550 --> 00:13:35,930 (train horn) 285 00:13:36,670 --> 00:13:38,050 (hisses furiously) 286 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,290 You whores have no class! 287 00:13:40,290 --> 00:13:44,650 In war, the side remembered is the side with the most ssstyle! 288 00:13:44,910 --> 00:13:47,990 - Or the side that ain't dead! - Speakin' of style, 289 00:13:47,990 --> 00:13:50,190 is your hat, like, alive or somethin'? 290 00:13:50,190 --> 00:13:54,406 - Oh! Well, that's none of your goddamn businesss! Now is it? 291 00:13:54,406 --> 00:13:57,327 - Would that make your hat the top and you the bottom? 292 00:13:57,330 --> 00:13:59,430 - Ooooooh! 293 00:13:59,970 --> 00:14:02,810 - I'm going to blow you to bitsss!! 294 00:14:02,870 --> 00:14:06,130 - Hmm. Kinky. - Oh, not like that! Pervert! 295 00:14:09,730 --> 00:14:12,250 Not so cocky now, are we? 296 00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:15,110 - Y'know, you really gotta watch what comes outta your mouth. 297 00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:18,010 I've been making these sex jokes the whole-- TIME! 298 00:14:18,010 --> 00:14:20,450 And it's obvious you ain't catchin' on. 299 00:14:20,450 --> 00:14:22,890 I mean, it's just SAD! 300 00:14:23,420 --> 00:14:26,036 - So, think you're gonna get in a lot of trouble for this? 301 00:14:26,036 --> 00:14:27,970 - Eh, what's one little brawl gonna cause? 302 00:14:27,970 --> 00:14:30,050 *alarm blaring in background* 303 00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:32,530 - WHY WONT ANYONE HELP ME?! 304 00:14:32,530 --> 00:14:34,686 - Glad you haven't changed. 305 00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:37,290 You know you're my favorite guy to party with. 306 00:14:37,470 --> 00:14:39,090 - You know it, sugar tits. 307 00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:42,670 - You ready to finish this? - Born ready, baby. 308 00:14:42,670 --> 00:14:48,810 (collective screaming) 309 00:14:48,810 --> 00:14:50,490 *crow cawing* 310 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:53,730 *car engine revving* 311 00:14:53,830 --> 00:15:03,090 (car window winding up and down) 312 00:15:06,770 --> 00:15:07,490 What? 313 00:15:07,570 --> 00:15:09,270 - "What"? "What"?! 314 00:15:09,270 --> 00:15:10,830 What were you doing?! 315 00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:12,770 - (sigh) I owed my girl buddy a solid! 316 00:15:12,770 --> 00:15:14,810 Isn't that a "redeeming quality"? 317 00:15:14,810 --> 00:15:16,130 Helping friends with stuff? 318 00:15:16,130 --> 00:15:20,090 - Not with turf wars that result in territorial genocide! 319 00:15:20,090 --> 00:15:22,610 - Eh... you win some, you lose a few hundred. 320 00:15:22,610 --> 00:15:23,710 (laughter) 321 00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:26,030 It wasn't that bad anyway. 322 00:15:26,830 --> 00:15:27,330 *knife thrown* 323 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:29,010 *growling* 324 00:15:29,210 --> 00:15:31,250 - Oh, come on! I had to! 325 00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:33,190 My credibility was on the line. 326 00:15:33,190 --> 00:15:35,270 I mean, what kind of reputation would I have 327 00:15:35,270 --> 00:15:37,470 if people found out I was trying to go clean? 328 00:15:37,810 --> 00:15:39,690 It just throws out my entire persona. 329 00:15:39,950 --> 00:15:42,490 - Your credibility?? What about the hotel's? 330 00:15:42,490 --> 00:15:45,530 Your little stunt made us look like a fucking joke! 331 00:15:45,830 --> 00:15:48,690 - No, no, no, babe. Jokes are funny. 332 00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:51,830 I made you look, uh... sad. 333 00:15:51,830 --> 00:15:53,130 And pathetic! 334 00:15:53,130 --> 00:15:54,630 Like an orphan, 335 00:15:54,630 --> 00:15:55,990 with no arms... 336 00:15:55,990 --> 00:15:57,210 Or- or legs... 337 00:15:57,210 --> 00:15:59,830 Uh… oh! With Progeria! 338 00:15:59,890 --> 00:16:03,010 Great! Now I'm bummed thinking about it! 339 00:16:03,010 --> 00:16:04,330 This thing have any liquor? 340 00:16:04,333 --> 00:16:07,330 - Can you please just TRY to take this seriously? 341 00:16:07,330 --> 00:16:11,050 - Fine, I'll try. Just don't get your taco in a twist, baby. 342 00:16:11,050 --> 00:16:13,650 - Was that you trying to be sexist, or racist? 343 00:16:13,650 --> 00:16:15,290 - Whatever pisses you off more. 344 00:16:15,290 --> 00:16:17,410 Is there seriously no liquor in here? 345 00:16:17,970 --> 00:16:19,810 - I'm gonna kill him. - Too late, toots. 346 00:16:19,810 --> 00:16:22,650 Wait, would that make me double-dead? 347 00:16:23,090 --> 00:16:25,930 Where exactly do I go, to Double Hell?! 348 00:16:26,370 --> 00:16:27,670 Hahahahahaha! 349 00:16:27,970 --> 00:16:31,270 Sorry. You're stuck with me, bitch. Get used to it. 350 00:16:31,270 --> 00:16:33,510 - Arrgh! Comé mierda, malparido hijo de- (Eat shit, bastard son of a-) 351 00:16:33,670 --> 00:16:36,150 - Listen, who cares if some jackoffs got hurt? 352 00:16:36,510 --> 00:16:38,650 Most of them are ugly freaks. Look around, 353 00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:40,410 you got a buncha fukken harlequin babies down here. 354 00:16:40,410 --> 00:16:44,290 - You're one to talk. - Hey! This body is flawless! 355 00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:45,830 Everyone wants some of me, 356 00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:48,150 and I got the creepy fan letters to prove it. 357 00:16:49,650 --> 00:16:50,290 Arrgh! 358 00:16:50,430 --> 00:16:53,070 That was really uncool, y'know, Angel. 359 00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:55,226 - "Uncool"?! After THAT train wreck, 360 00:16:55,226 --> 00:16:58,605 there is no way ANYONE is gonna want to stay at the hotel! 361 00:16:58,610 --> 00:17:01,870 All thanks to you, and your selfish bullshit! 362 00:17:02,092 --> 00:17:04,650 - Does that mean I don't have a free room anymore? 363 00:17:06,450 --> 00:17:08,510 (tsk) Ah well, shucks. (snap) 364 00:17:09,050 --> 00:17:12,666 - Hey, come on. We don't know if things are over yet. 365 00:17:12,670 --> 00:17:15,810 Try to relax, Vaggie. I- It'll be okay! 366 00:17:15,810 --> 00:17:19,910 (car engine running) 367 00:17:28,190 --> 00:17:28,690 (Vaggie groans) 368 00:17:38,110 --> 00:17:39,990 - It's probably a good idea to get 369 00:17:39,990 --> 00:17:42,770 some actual food in this place. Y'know, 370 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,310 to feed all the wayward souls you got in here. 371 00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:46,490 (laughing) 372 00:17:46,490 --> 00:17:48,790 (laughing dying down) 373 00:17:49,810 --> 00:17:50,430 eh- 374 00:18:06,410 --> 00:18:07,530 - Hey Mom! 375 00:18:07,530 --> 00:18:12,350 Um.... I know I keep calling, and, uh, you must be busy... 376 00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:14,110 really… busy. 377 00:18:14,230 --> 00:18:19,070 But, um, the interview didn't go well, and… 378 00:18:19,070 --> 00:18:22,770 I don't know if I'm going to make a difference. 379 00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:25,130 I don't know what I'm doing. 380 00:18:25,130 --> 00:18:28,030 I could really use some advice, Mom. 381 00:18:28,030 --> 00:18:32,470 I... I think Dad was right about me. 382 00:18:33,050 --> 00:18:38,390 (cry-chuckle) Uff. Eh, anyway, I'll stop talking before this gets long. 383 00:18:38,730 --> 00:18:41,030 Love you. Bye. 384 00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:48,950 (knock) 385 00:18:49,430 --> 00:18:52,810 (rhythmic knocking) 386 00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:02,350 Hell-- 387 00:19:03,450 --> 00:19:04,190 --lo! 388 00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:06,790 Charlie: Hey Vaggie? - What? 389 00:19:06,970 --> 00:19:09,130 - The Radio Demon is at the door...! 390 00:19:09,490 --> 00:19:11,130 - What?! - Uh, who? 391 00:19:11,290 --> 00:19:14,770 - What should I do? - Uh- well, don't let him in! 392 00:19:18,030 --> 00:19:20,070 - May I speak now? - You may... 393 00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:22,090 - Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart. 394 00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:24,210 Quite a pleasure! Excuse my sudden visit, 395 00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:26,490 but I saw your fiasco on the picture show, 396 00:19:26,490 --> 00:19:29,410 and I just couldn't resist. What a performance! (audience cheering) 397 00:19:29,410 --> 00:19:33,150 Why, I haven't been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929! 398 00:19:33,150 --> 00:19:34,590 (haughty laughter) 399 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,050 ...So many orphans. 400 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:39,450 Vaggie: Stop! Right! There! Cabrón, hijo de perra! (Bastard, son of a bitch!) 401 00:19:39,450 --> 00:19:43,690 I know your game, and I'm not gonna let you hurt anyone here, 402 00:19:43,690 --> 00:19:46,510 you pompous, cheesy, talk-show shitlord! 403 00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:49,490 - Dear, if I wanted to hurt anyone here... 404 00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:50,750 ...I WOULD HAVE DONE SO ALREADY. 405 00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:51,250 ...I W͟OULD HAVȨ ҉D̢O͜N̶E SO ALR͝E҉ADY. 406 00:19:51,250 --> 00:19:51,750 .͝.̀.I͘ ̴WO͟UL̢D ̴H͢A͜V͘E͝ ̕DON͠E ͝S͟O ALREA͞DY̴. 407 00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:52,250 .͏..I̸ ͜W͡O͢͠U̴͜͝LD̷ ̡͢H̵̨A͠͡VE͘҉ ̶Ḑ͝O͢N͢E̡ S͟O̶ ̨A̢L̶̴RE̸A͠D̷̛Y̷.̸҉ 408 00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:52,750 .͞͝..I̸ ̴͘W̡O͡U̡L̨D̶ ̡͠H̸́A͟V̶E ̨͘D̴ON̡͜E̶̡ ̡́SO̷͠ ̨̕A͢L̷R̴Ȩ͢͠Ą͟͟D̶Y͠.̡͜ 409 00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:53,250 .҉͢.̷͡.҉̢͘I̶̢ ͏̴W̛͟͠Ò̴U͘L͟D̡ ̸̨Ḩ͠A̸V̴E͏ ̸̵DƠ̶N̵̷̡E̛ ̸̡͞S̴͝O̷҉ A̧L͜͢R͠E̷͜À̛D͘Y.̢̧͠ 410 00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:53,750 .̡͢͞.̴̶̢̀.́͝͝͠I͘̕͝ ҉͟W̷͘O͘U̡҉̵̛̀L̢̛҉͏̶D̸̨ ̸̨Ḩ̶A̶̢͢͡V̵́̕͞Ę͟͞͠ ̷̴̕͝͞D͠O̵͢͜͜Ń̴͢͢E̢͡ ͏̸̀̕͘ŞO̵͟ ̧A̷͝Ĺ̴̨̢ŔE͡͏̴A̷̡͜D҉̷͠Ỳ̸̛͡.̶̛̕͠͝ 411 00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:54,250 .҉̨.̵̷̢͜͢.́͝͝I̧̛͘ ̢͡͏͡Ẁ͏̛̕͞O҉̷͏́U̵̧͘͟͝L̷̴̕D͠͡ ҉̵̧H̷͢͡A̵̛͏̸V̧̛͘E͟͏̶ ̶͜͡҉͘D̸̡̨O̡̧͢N̨͘͢͡E҉̀ ̴́͞͝S̵͏O̡͝ ̵̶̵͘͡A̛͠͝Ĺ͞͞R͘҉̶̛͝E̶͜͞͠Ą̵́͜D̢́͢Ý̵̴͏.̴̵̷͘ 412 00:19:54,250 --> 00:19:54,750 .̨͏́͟.̵.͏͢҉̛҉I͟ ̴̢̡͘͠Ẃ͜͞͠O̵͡U҉̷̸L̀҉͟͠D̨́͘͝͠ ҉̶́͟͠H̷̴̛Á͡҉̡V̸̴̸̕͘Ȩ͟͝ ̵̨̕D́͝O̶̷̧͜͟N̷̵̨͡E͡҉ ́͏̴̴S̶̛̕O̸̶̕ ̴͝A͝͠L̵̶̛͡͏R̸̷͡E͘͘A̡̛͘͟D̀́͠Ý҉͏͠.̡͜ 413 00:19:55,810 --> 00:19:58,410 - ...No, I'm here because I want to help! 414 00:19:59,170 --> 00:20:01,750 - Say what now? - Help! (laughing) 415 00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:05,250 Hello? is this thing on? Testing, testing. 416 00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:07,250 Microphone: Well I heard you loud and clear! 417 00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:11,170 - Um, you want to help with...? 418 00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:14,410 - This ridiculous thing you're trying to do; this hotel! 419 00:20:14,410 --> 00:20:16,230 I want to help you run it. 420 00:20:16,450 --> 00:20:18,450 - But... why? 421 00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:21,170 - Hahaha! Why does anyone do anything? 422 00:20:21,170 --> 00:20:23,730 Sheer, Absolute BOREDOM 423 00:20:23,730 --> 00:20:26,470 I've lacked inspiration for decades. 424 00:20:26,470 --> 00:20:29,830 My work became mundane, lacking focus... 425 00:20:29,830 --> 00:20:31,110 ...AIMLESS! (crash) 426 00:20:31,110 --> 00:20:35,410 I've come to crave a NEW form of entertainment! Hahaha! 427 00:20:35,530 --> 00:20:38,370 - Does getting into a fist fight with a reporter 428 00:20:38,430 --> 00:20:40,090 count as entertainment? 429 00:20:40,090 --> 00:20:43,810 - Ha-ha-ha! It's the purest kind, my dear. 430 00:20:43,870 --> 00:20:46,970 REALITY! TRUE PASSION! 431 00:20:46,970 --> 00:20:49,577 After all, the world is a stage, 432 00:20:49,577 --> 00:20:53,044 and the stage is a world of entertainment! 433 00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:56,640 - ...So, does this mean that you think it's POSSIBLE 434 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,370 to rehabilitate a demon? 435 00:20:58,370 --> 00:21:02,310 - (laughter) Of course not! That's wacky nonsense. 436 00:21:02,330 --> 00:21:05,370 Redemption... oh, the non-existent humanity! 437 00:21:05,370 --> 00:21:08,050 Nononono... I don't think there's anything left 438 00:21:08,050 --> 00:21:09,850 that could save such loathsome sinners. 439 00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:11,810 The chance given was the life they lived before, 440 00:21:11,810 --> 00:21:13,930 the punishment is THIS! 441 00:21:13,930 --> 00:21:15,550 There is no undoing what is done. 442 00:21:15,550 --> 00:21:19,330 - So then why do you want to help me if you don't believe in my cause? 443 00:21:19,510 --> 00:21:23,250 - Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself! 444 00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:25,530 I want to watch the scum of the world struggle 445 00:21:25,530 --> 00:21:27,650 to climb up the hill of betterment, 446 00:21:27,650 --> 00:21:30,790 only to repeatedly trip and tumble down 447 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:34,730 into the fiery pit of failure... 448 00:21:35,270 --> 00:21:37,250 - Rrrrrright... 449 00:21:38,310 --> 00:21:41,810 - Yes, indeedy! I see big things coming your way, 450 00:21:41,870 --> 00:21:43,770 and who better to help you than I? 451 00:21:43,810 --> 00:21:46,590 - I-so uh what's the deal with Smiles over there? 452 00:21:46,910 --> 00:21:48,830 - Wait, you've never heard of him before? 453 00:21:48,832 --> 00:21:50,350 You've been here longer than me. 454 00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:52,110 The Radio Demon? 455 00:21:52,110 --> 00:21:54,750 One of the most powerful beings Hell has ever seen? 456 00:21:55,030 --> 00:21:57,050 - Eh, not big on politics. 457 00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:58,130 - Ugh. 458 00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:01,590 Decades ago, Alastor manifested in Hell. 459 00:22:01,610 --> 00:22:07,310 Seemingly overnight, he began to topple overlords who had been dominant for centuries. 460 00:22:07,310 --> 00:22:11,690 That kind of raw power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before! 461 00:22:11,690 --> 00:22:15,170 Then, he broadcast his carnage all throughout Hell, 462 00:22:15,170 --> 00:22:18,350 just so everyone could witness his ability! 463 00:22:18,350 --> 00:22:21,930 Sinners started calling him "The Radio Demon"... 464 00:22:21,930 --> 00:22:23,590 ...as lazy as that is. 465 00:22:23,590 --> 00:22:27,490 Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him 466 00:22:27,490 --> 00:22:31,510 to rival our world's most ancient and destructive evils. 467 00:22:31,510 --> 00:22:33,430 But one thing's for sure. 468 00:22:33,430 --> 00:22:35,970 He's an unpredictable source of danger, 469 00:22:35,970 --> 00:22:40,370 a wicked spirit of mystery, and a violent monster of chaos, 470 00:22:40,370 --> 00:22:43,370 the likes of which we can't risk getting involved with, 471 00:22:43,370 --> 00:22:46,050 unless we want to end up ERASED. 472 00:22:46,170 --> 00:22:47,370 - Ya done? 473 00:22:48,210 --> 00:22:50,130 He looks like a strawberry pimp! 474 00:22:50,510 --> 00:22:52,250 - Well, I don't trust him. 475 00:22:52,250 --> 00:22:55,350 - To be fair, do you trust any man? Any men? 476 00:22:56,390 --> 00:22:57,610 Men? 477 00:22:57,610 --> 00:23:01,350 - Charlie, listen to me... You can't believe this creep. 478 00:23:01,690 --> 00:23:06,550 He isn't just a happy face. He's a deal maker. Pure evil! 479 00:23:06,550 --> 00:23:09,990 He can't be redeemed! And is most likely looking for a way 480 00:23:09,990 --> 00:23:12,050 to destroy everything we're trying to do. 481 00:23:12,050 --> 00:23:16,470 - I... eh- we don't know that. Look, I know he's bad 482 00:23:16,470 --> 00:23:19,510 and I know he probably doesn't wanna change. 483 00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:22,970 But the whole point of this is to give people a chance, 484 00:23:22,970 --> 00:23:25,270 to have faith things will be better. 485 00:23:25,490 --> 00:23:28,570 How can I turn someone away? I can't. 486 00:23:28,570 --> 00:23:31,190 It goes against everything I'm trying to do. 487 00:23:31,190 --> 00:23:33,030 Everything I believe in. 488 00:23:33,030 --> 00:23:37,330 Just, trust me. I can take care of myself. 489 00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:41,437 - Charlie, whatever you do, do not make a deal with him. (radio humming) 490 00:23:41,437 --> 00:23:44,992 - Don't worry. I picked up one thing from my dad: 491 00:23:44,992 --> 00:23:48,170 "You don't take shit from other demons!" 492 00:23:48,750 --> 00:23:52,290 Okay... so, Al, you're sketchy as fuck, 493 00:23:52,290 --> 00:23:55,290 and you clearly see what I'm trying to do here as a joke. 494 00:23:55,730 --> 00:23:56,610 But I don't. 495 00:23:56,950 --> 00:23:58,850 I think everyone deserves a chance 496 00:23:58,850 --> 00:24:02,610 to prove they can be better, so I'm taking your offer to help. 497 00:24:02,970 --> 00:24:05,490 On the condition that there be no... 498 00:24:05,490 --> 00:24:07,670 tricks or voodoo strings attached. 499 00:24:08,110 --> 00:24:10,390 - So it's a deal then? 500 00:24:10,670 --> 00:24:14,270 (wind howling) 501 00:24:14,530 --> 00:24:18,950 - Nope! No shaking. No deals. I... hmm... 502 00:24:19,710 --> 00:24:23,030 ...As Princess of Hell, and heir to the throne, 503 00:24:23,030 --> 00:24:27,330 I-uh, hereby order that you help with this hotel... 504 00:24:27,330 --> 00:24:29,450 ...for as long as you desire. 505 00:24:33,190 --> 00:24:35,110 Sound fair? - Hmm... 506 00:24:35,110 --> 00:24:37,450 ...fair enough. - Cool beans... 507 00:24:37,730 --> 00:24:39,450 (Alastor humming "You're Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile") 508 00:24:40,850 --> 00:24:42,490 - Smile, my dear! 509 00:24:42,490 --> 00:24:45,650 You know you're never fully dressed without one! 510 00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:49,310 (humming continues) 511 00:24:49,550 --> 00:24:51,330 So where is your hotel staff? 512 00:24:51,690 --> 00:24:54,410 - Uh... well... 513 00:24:54,590 --> 00:24:58,110 Ho-ho-ho, you're going to need more than that. 514 00:24:58,650 --> 00:25:01,030 And what can you do, my effeminate fellow? 515 00:25:01,170 --> 00:25:02,110 - I can suck ya dick. 516 00:25:02,690 --> 00:25:03,250 - HA! 517 00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:03,890 NO. 518 00:25:03,930 --> 00:25:04,770 - Heh, your loss. 519 00:25:05,570 --> 00:25:07,250 - Well this just won't do! 520 00:25:07,250 --> 00:25:11,370 I suppose I can cash in a few favors to liven things up. 521 00:25:11,930 --> 00:25:13,810 (whimsical jingle) 522 00:25:24,570 --> 00:25:25,670 (party horn squeaks) 523 00:25:26,130 --> 00:25:28,390 This little darling is Niffty! 524 00:25:28,390 --> 00:25:31,390 - Hi, I'm Niffty. It's nice to meet you. 525 00:25:31,390 --> 00:25:33,990 It's been a while since I've made new friends... 526 00:25:33,990 --> 00:25:35,270 Why are you all women? 527 00:25:35,270 --> 00:25:36,250 Have any men here?! 528 00:25:36,250 --> 00:25:37,270 I'm sorry if that's rude. 529 00:25:37,270 --> 00:25:39,010 Oh man! This place is filthy! 530 00:25:39,010 --> 00:25:40,490 It really needs a lady's touch, 531 00:25:40,490 --> 00:25:42,690 which is weird because you're all ladies, no offense. 532 00:25:42,690 --> 00:25:46,850 Ohmigosh, this is awful! Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. 533 00:25:46,850 --> 00:25:47,450 (gasp) 534 00:25:47,450 --> 00:25:48,530 NOPE. 535 00:25:48,810 --> 00:25:51,510 ???: Ha! Read 'em and weep, boys. 536 00:25:51,590 --> 00:25:54,450 Ful--wooooooah 537 00:25:54,450 --> 00:25:55,530 The hell? 538 00:25:55,530 --> 00:25:58,070 What the fuck is this? 539 00:25:58,070 --> 00:25:59,190 (furiously) YOU. 540 00:25:59,190 --> 00:26:02,461 - Ah! Husker, my good friend, glad you could make it! 541 00:26:02,470 --> 00:26:05,310 Don't you "Husker" me, you son of a bitch. 542 00:26:05,310 --> 00:26:07,770 I was about to win the whole damn POT! 543 00:26:07,770 --> 00:26:08,790 - Good to see you too. 544 00:26:08,790 --> 00:26:09,290 *Face palm* 545 00:26:09,390 --> 00:26:11,370 - What the hell do you want with me this time? 546 00:26:11,370 --> 00:26:13,390 - My friend, I am doing some charity works, 547 00:26:13,390 --> 00:26:16,370 so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! 548 00:26:16,370 --> 00:26:17,210 I hope that's okay. 549 00:26:17,750 --> 00:26:19,210 - Are you shittin' me? 550 00:26:19,350 --> 00:26:21,990 - Hmm. No, I don't think so. (audience laughter) 551 00:26:21,990 --> 00:26:25,150 - You thought it would be some kinda big fuckin' riot 552 00:26:25,150 --> 00:26:27,170 just to pull me outta nowhere? 553 00:26:27,170 --> 00:26:29,110 You think I'm some kind of fuckin' clown?! 554 00:26:29,990 --> 00:26:32,850 - Maybe! (audience laughter) - I ain't doin' no fuckin' charity job. 555 00:26:33,330 --> 00:26:35,470 - Well, I figured you would be the perfect face 556 00:26:35,470 --> 00:26:38,142 to man the front desk of this fine establishment! (audience applause) 557 00:26:38,142 --> 00:26:40,918 With your charming smile and welcoming energy, 558 00:26:40,918 --> 00:26:43,230 this job was made for you! 559 00:26:43,470 --> 00:26:47,230 Don't worry, my friend. I can make this more welcoming... 560 00:26:47,230 --> 00:26:49,390 ...if you wish. 561 00:26:51,010 --> 00:26:54,670 - What? You think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze?! 562 00:26:55,170 --> 00:26:56,570 Well, you can! 563 00:26:56,690 --> 00:27:00,550 - Hey! hey! Hey-hey-hey! No, no bar! No alcohol. 564 00:27:00,550 --> 00:27:03,450 This is supposed to be place that DISCOURAGES sin! 565 00:27:03,850 --> 00:27:07,330 Not some kind of now-brothel... man cave-- 566 00:27:07,330 --> 00:27:10,930 - Shut up! SHUT! UP! We are keeping this. 567 00:27:11,330 --> 00:27:13,570 - Hey. - Go fuck yourself. 568 00:27:13,570 --> 00:27:15,170 - Only if you watch me~ 569 00:27:15,170 --> 00:27:18,090 - Oh my gosh! Welcome to the Happy Hotel! 570 00:27:18,090 --> 00:27:20,210 You are going to LOVE IT HERE! 571 00:27:20,570 --> 00:27:22,990 - I lost the ability to love years ago. 572 00:27:23,770 --> 00:27:25,510 - So, what do you think? 573 00:27:25,510 --> 00:27:27,930 - This is amazing! (party horn) 574 00:27:28,210 --> 00:27:30,010 - It's... okay. 575 00:27:30,170 --> 00:27:30,830 - Hahaha! 576 00:27:31,090 --> 00:27:34,390 This is going to be very entertaining! 577 00:27:34,390 --> 00:27:36,390 (radio starting up) 578 00:27:38,110 --> 00:27:40,170 ♪ You have a dream, ♪ 579 00:27:40,179 --> 00:27:42,330 ♪ You wish to tell, ♪ 580 00:27:42,330 --> 00:27:43,710 ♪ And it's just laughable, ♪ 581 00:27:43,710 --> 00:27:45,490 ♪ But hey, kid, what the hell! ♪ 582 00:27:46,290 --> 00:27:48,670 ♪ 'Cause you're one of a kind, ♪ 583 00:27:48,670 --> 00:27:50,450 ♪ A charming demon belle! ♪ 584 00:27:50,450 --> 00:27:53,330 ♪ Now, let's give these burning fools a place to dwell! ♪ 585 00:27:53,330 --> 00:27:54,310 Take it, boys! 586 00:27:57,590 --> 00:27:58,870 - Ha-ha! - Boo! 587 00:27:58,870 --> 00:28:02,290 ♪ Inside of every demon is a lost cause, ♪ 588 00:28:02,290 --> 00:28:05,410 ♪ But we'll dress 'em up for now with just a smile! ♪ 589 00:28:05,410 --> 00:28:06,470 - ♪ WITH A SMILE! ♪ 590 00:28:06,470 --> 00:28:08,490 - ♪ And we'll chlorinate this cesspool ♪ 591 00:28:08,490 --> 00:28:10,210 ♪ with some old redemption flair, ♪ 592 00:28:10,210 --> 00:28:13,150 ♪ And show these simpletons some proper class and style! ♪ 593 00:28:13,150 --> 00:28:15,010 - ♪ CLASS AND STYLE! ♪ - ♪ Oh! ♪ 594 00:28:15,010 --> 00:28:16,430 ♪ Here below the ground, ♪ 595 00:28:16,430 --> 00:28:18,410 ♪ I'm sure your plan is sound! ♪ 596 00:28:18,570 --> 00:28:20,810 ♪ They'll spend a little time~ ♪ 597 00:28:20,810 --> 00:28:22,470 ♪ Down at this Hazbin Ho- ♪ 598 00:28:24,550 --> 00:28:25,050 (crash) 599 00:28:27,870 --> 00:28:30,210 Sir Pentious: Ha! Well, well, well. 600 00:28:30,210 --> 00:28:33,550 Look who it is harboring the striped freak! 601 00:28:33,550 --> 00:28:35,930 We meet yet again, Alastor! 602 00:28:36,190 --> 00:28:37,290 - Do I know you? 603 00:28:38,310 --> 00:28:40,290 - OH, yes you do! 604 00:28:40,870 --> 00:28:44,650 And this time, I have the element of... surprise! 605 00:28:44,650 --> 00:28:47,129 AH HA HA! 606 00:28:47,130 --> 00:28:50,530 I'm so evil! NYE-HA-HA-HA! 607 00:28:50,870 --> 00:28:52,950 Whoa... whoa... whoa... oh... 608 00:28:52,950 --> 00:28:54,630 Whoooa! 609 00:28:54,630 --> 00:28:57,770 (screaming, egg shells cracking) 610 00:28:58,050 --> 00:28:58,850 (slam) 611 00:28:58,850 --> 00:29:00,110 Argh! That hurt! 612 00:29:00,210 --> 00:29:04,650 (tortured screaming) 613 00:29:06,130 --> 00:29:08,130 (Egg Bois howling) 614 00:29:16,370 --> 00:29:18,790 (explosion) 615 00:29:23,730 --> 00:29:26,290 ...Well, I'm starved! Who wants some jambalaya? 616 00:29:26,290 --> 00:29:28,970 My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for jambalaya! 617 00:29:28,970 --> 00:29:31,030 In fact, it nearly killed her! Ha-ha-ha! 618 00:29:31,030 --> 00:29:33,130 You could say the kick was right out of Hell! 619 00:29:33,210 --> 00:29:35,090 Oh-hoho, I'm on a roll! 620 00:29:35,090 --> 00:29:39,630 Yes sir, this is the start of some real changes down here! 621 00:29:39,630 --> 00:29:41,430 The game is set. 622 00:29:42,370 --> 00:29:43,350 Now... 623 00:29:44,410 --> 00:29:46,910 ...STAY TUNED. 624 00:29:47,010 --> 00:29:48,870 (low chuckling) 625 00:29:48,870 --> 00:29:58,870 (Rocking Credits) 626 00:31:11,850 --> 00:31:15,810 (ground burning) 627 00:31:15,810 --> 00:31:19,410 (limbs rattling) 628 00:31:19,810 --> 00:31:22,310 Now will you shoot me with your ray gun?