There's a guy falling out of that plane.
Look out!
I got a friend in here
with his jaw wired shut because of you.
All I want you to do is keep him alive
long enough for me to collect back alimony.
You're destroying Robin's wall.
You sound exactly like Higgins.
You've met Mad Buck?
Mad Buck.
- What are you looking at? - You, loudmouth.
Buck, no, no! Come on.
You wanna race?
Buck, pull over.
You know, there are some quotations
that would make good rules to live by.
For instance,
"Never drive behind an old man wearing a hat."
Or another,
"It's always brightest just before the storm."
If I'd remembered that one,
I'd really have been on my guard
because the afternoon it all started
was a truly beautiful day.
Magnum.
One moment, please.
Higgins, if you don't mind, I'm sort of in a hurry.
I can well imagine.
A pressing date with your surf ski
or are you rendezvousing with one of your divorcee clients
just beyond the breakers?
As a matter of fact, I'm running, paddling,
then running again, against the clock.
So time is very important.
All that without wearing a watch?
How fiendishly ingenious of you.
The time is running in my head,
it's like an Olympic athlete in competition.
Who could have thought one so aggressively prosaic
could have such an extraordinary fantasy life?
All right. Forget it, okay?
You satisfied?
It's too late to run for time now.
Tell me what is it you want.
Your surf ski, clothing, and footprints
are on my beach.
Your beach?
You've staked a claim down here?
For my tournament. Beach croquet.
As you can plainly see,
the surface has been expertly raked and rolled.
Beach croquet?
It's a fundraising tournament for the Art Affiliates.
We're sponsoring a worthy young artist for a year in Paris.
If you'd, uh, like to buy a ticket...
No, I think I'll just excuse myself
and pick up my things.
I'll even rake my footprints, if you want.
I thought the word "buy" would send you scampering.
I know what you're thinking, but this time you're wrong.
The run-in with Higgins wasn't the storm.
It was barely the opening thunderclap.
Thomas!
I know, I know.
I'm raking it up as fast as I can.
Thomas.
Listen, there's a client at the bar. A real one.
She even looks like she could pay her own bills.
Come on, let's go.
Malevolent, vile, self-centered,
self-indulgent, not to mention selfish,
and a decorated foe of the entire women's movement.
And you want Thomas to baby-sit?
Only until I collect a debt he owes me.
But what makes you think he needs protecting, Mrs. Gibson?
Is somebody out to get him?
Oh, there are only about 140 announced suspects.
But the only one I'm interested in is himself.
Wait a minute, I thought Buck was a successful writer.
Oh, he is...
If you want to call "success" being known
for trashy paperbacks with covers of
voluptuous blondes and heroes who are...
Isn't he a friend of Robin Masters?
Only for about 30 years.
So if he is coming to the Islands, he'll be staying at the estate.
I'm not so sure about the ethics
of secretly protecting someone
who's enjoying Robin's hospitality.
Now look, the ethics are completely different
between a client and potential victim if they're related.
Well, I mean, in a sort of way.
You see, Mr. Magnum,
I am the original Mrs. Mad Buck.
Many years ago in Paris.
And the debt I'm trying to collect is
back alimony. 20 years of it.
Now I have a court order.
All I want you to do is keep him alive
long enough for me to collect.
- So you and Buck were... - Married. Yes.
Is this some sort of investigative technique you've perfected?
I make a statement and you repeat it with a question?
It's not that. It's just confusing, see,
because I've met three other wives of Buck's and somehow...
You are exactly right. Let me say it.
I am not now,
nor have I ever been, a chorus girl.
The sum total of my measurements
do not exceed my IQ.
And the last time, the only time
Buck ever called me "Tootsie,"
I punched him out.
Yeah, well, I can't imagine why you two ever split up.
Neither can I.
First I thought it was just because he hated marriage.
Are you sure that, uh, he's coming to the Islands?
Because we haven't heard...
He took an early flight out of New York.
He should be here any minute.
What the hell is he doing?
There's a guy falling out of that plane.
Dramatic, but hardly original.
Mad Buck?
It's the way he arrived
at the Cannes Film Festival three years ago.
The only reason people noticed him then,
when it was original,
was he was holding a naked starlet at the time.
Yeah? Well, this time he's not gonna make it
'cause the wind's blowing him right into the reef.
It's suicide.
Even if he misses the reef, the surf is heavy.
He could drown before he gets out of his harness.
A naked starlet?
She was Scandinavian, so it really didn't count.
"Mad Buck" Gibson
got his name from being one of the most adventure-crazed men alive.
Big game in Africa, mountain climbing in Nepal,
deep-sea fishing in the Florida Keys...
And when he wasn't doing that,
he turned out adventure novels
that were almost as colorful as his life.
The only trouble was
that life was in its final chapter
if I couldn't set a new record breaking through the surf.
He went out to save him.
Legally, do you think that constitutes
an acceptance of my employment?
Hey, look.
The wind has shifted.
He's headed for the south beach.
Higgins!
Don't look around, Mrs. Barnes.
It's obviously some intoxicated...
Higgins!
Look out below!
Higgins! Look out!
Just a separated shoulder...
Higgins, if there's anything...
...two cracked ribs,
numbers 4 and 5 on the left side...
- Higgins, if you just... - ...a slight concussion
and an assortment of abrasions, all second degree.
I should be back at the front in no time.
The front?
I mean the estate.
Now, how exactly
did this ruddy nonsense happen anyway?
You don't remember Rick yelling at you?
Of course I do.
My faculties are perfectly intact.
Nona Barnes and I were setting out the wickets
on the croquet court.
I heard Rick but elected to ignore him.
Now, exactly how did the accident occur?
You know, that Mrs. Barnes, she's...
She's really quite intrepid.
She's proceeding with the tournament despite your injuries.
Well, of course, she is.
Nona comes from sturdy, resilient pioneer stock.
Now, a-a-about the accident.
You were hit by a parachutist.
What?
You were hit by a parachutist.
How?
- How... - Blown off course by the wind.
You know how unpredictable the wind can be.
Who?
Who could possibly be so irresponsible,
so criminally negligent? So...
Higgins, this is the funny part.
It's a friend of Robin's. A writer.
Well, look, I'm sorry. I got to let you get some sleep.
You know, Higgins, you look really tired.
I must be more seriously hurt than I imagined.
It couldn't possibly be
"Mad Buck" Gibson.
You've met Mad Buck?
One further question in this masochistic interrogation.
Is it just barely possible that Mr. Gibson,
having failed in his kamikaze mission,
is going to get back in his plane
and leave the Islands?
You're not here to drive him to the airport?
Actually,
I'm here to drive him back to the estate.
As a personal and honored guest of Robin Masters.
Ta.
Mad Buck.
Magnum!
Meet Marlene.
Marlene. Here. Meet Magnum.
Hi.
You know, I told these idiots in this hospital
that I could walk out of here, but now...
There you go, hold my sticks, will you, buddy?
But now that I got her, I think I'm gonna have her
to be my personal chauffeur forever.
Darling, if I were two years younger,
you'd be in big, big trouble.
As a matter of fact, promise me
you won't get engaged until I get out of this plaster, huh?
They're getting prettier and younger every year.
Bye, Marlene.
You know, the last time I saw her namesake,
I was up in Tarcento,
up in the Italian Alps near Yugoslavia.
She was entertaining the troops and I was covering the Big Bang
for old Uncle Henry Louis.
Ms. Gillson, please report to X-ray...
It seems like yesterday about 200 years ago.
Come on, Buck. I'll get you back to the estate.
Uh, no, no, no, I gotta see Higgie in here.
I'm sorry I made such a mess of things,
but I was sure that was an onshore breeze.
Look, I was just in there.
I don't think it's a good time to see him.
He's taken a lot of painkillers.
Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, gotcha.
Well...
You know, I think I could do this better one-handed.
Here. Race me.
I'll race you.
I won!
I know what you're thinking.
Higgins' reaction to Mad Buck
should have been the final tip-off.
But I have to be honest with you.
I read a few of Buck's books
under the covers with a flashlight when I was growing up,
and I was a little curious to see him in action up close.
Hi.
I just wish I'd remembered those old sayings
about the price you pay for curiosity.
Hello. The gardener let me in.
He also told me about Higgins.
He is going to be all right, isn't he?
Well, when I saw him,
he seemed a little out of it from the medication,
but I don't think it's too serious.
Good.
I guess that leaves one item of unfinished business between us.
My protecting Buck.
Exactly.
Now why do I sense reluctance here?
And don't talk to me about conflict of interest.
I think it's deeper than that.
Okay. I'll be honest with you.
I think I understand, or maybe even sympathize
with what Buck's going through.
Funny, you don't look like
a man with a degree in abnormal psychologies.
Well, it's hard to explain, Mrs. Gibson.
It's just that...
It's just that a woman wouldn't understand, right?
I didn't say that.
Buck's been very physical all his life.
One day, he wakes up,
sees his beard turning gray,
weighs a couple of extra pounds,
he's a step slower,
maybe even more than a step, so...
So he tries tougher and tougher stunts,
like jumping out of airplanes?
Come on, Mr. Magnum.
That's not youth recaptured.
That's insanity.
I didn't say it was okay.
I just said I understood.
It's like my friends and I when we remember Vietnam.
It was so terrible there, I don't think
there's any words to describe it, and yet...
You were never more alive.
Well, it's not that we're old.
It's just that we're not young anymore.
Because you understand,
you're the one who can help Buck.
Besides,
I don't want him to kill himself before I get my settlement.
So get on with it.
Magnum, I hope I didn't wake you.
But as long as you're up, come on in.
Why?
Why are you shooting at the wall?
Practice, my boy, practice.
Got to keep those reflexes ready.
You know, I don't mean any disrespect,
but if you intend to be a world-class investigator,
you better learn this.
Buck, I only use a gun as a last resort,
but when I do, I got a pretty good idea how to use it.
Yeah, sure, sure, watch this now.
I learned this in kill camp.
Named after Mozambique
because that's where the pattern was established.
I don't care how they shoot in Mozambique.
Here, we only fire when we mean it.
I only fire when I mean it.
And you know what a .45 slug will do.
It could've gone right through and nailed me in bed.
Not to mention the wall. You're destroying Robin's wall.
Did anybody ever tell you that sometimes
you sound exactly like Higgins?
Higgins?
Higgins.
He comes home this morning.
If you really think about it,
I'm... I'm really adding value to the property.
You see,
instead of just a wall with holes in it,
now it's an artistic creation.
I mean, I'll... I'll even sign it.
Magnum?
Higgins. You're back.
That's terrific, but should you be out of bed?
I think I should just walk you back to the house...
I heard gunfire and thought it only prudent to investigate.
Gunfire? Shots?
Well, maybe there were just a couple.
I counted 12, to be exact.
A .45 automatic, from the sound of it,
fired in the international Mozambique pattern,
if I'm not mistaken.
And since that's hardly a technique prominent in divorce court,
the person firing those shots
could only have been...
He's making the bathroom wall famous.
Please.
Spare me the depressingly unimaginative details.
Instead, let me ask you a question,
your opinion, actually,
of the lovely neo-classical fountain
in the courtyard of the estate
and the way it compliments Mr. Masters' new Rolls-Royce.
I think I better get you back to the house.
The walk down here must...
That blank look on your face is, for once, uniquely appropriate,
because there is no fountain, no Rolls-Royce.
On his last visit here, Mr. Gibson destroyed both
when he attempted to jump the fountain
with the car.
Anyone hurt?
One of the gardeners developed hysterical amnesia,
but that is not my point.
Buck Gibson is a demonstrable menace to this household.
And since Mr. Masters is incredibly loyal
to his friends, no matter how undeserving,
a character trait for which you must be daily grateful,
I can't order him off the premises.
It sounds like you want to make some sort of a deal.
A deal? I beg your pardon.
Hire me to protect the place from destruction.
Or worse.
I was under the...
I was under the delusion
that either out of loyalty to Robin
or in your alleged capacity as a security consultant...
That's right. So I'll make it easy on you. No money.
Instead, for three months,
the swimming pool, the billiard room,
the new big-screen TV moved into the guest house,
and free access to the wine cellar.
One month,
but the billiard room and wine cellar are excluded.
Two months. And that's my final...
I have my own high standards as a private investigator,
and there are some cases I just won't take.
Baby-sitting's one of them.
On the other hand,
this was one of those rare moments
when I didn't have an assignment,
and if Joan wanted to pay me for hanging out with Buck,
and if Higgins wanted to give me half the estate, I figured,
what's a couple of beers with a friend?
I mean, what could go wrong having a few beers?
Nothing, right?
Good night. Good night.
Mad Buck!
Over here!
You crazy son of a "B"...
How are you doing?
What are you guys doing here?
When he heard Mad Buck was here,
I couldn't stop him.
Mad Buck.
You know Rick and this is T.C.
He's an associate of mine.
How you doing? Hi, there.
I know you get tired of hearing this,
but I've read all of your books.
No, come on. Not all.
All 27.
My favorite is Curse of the Aztec Goddess.
I mean you're sort of an inspiration to me
because I'm sort of working on something of my own.
Maybe when I finish a chapter, you would read it?
Oh, yeah, you got it, B.C.
T.C.
What are you drinking tonight?
Bazookas all around. Double.
Uh, beer.
War injury.
Yeah, yeah, so anyway, my next favorite one
was Dagger of the Scorpion.
That's where the guy gets the girl in the bathtub...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then she gives him the Mickey.
Hey, Buck, can you really make a Mickey out of aspirin,
baking soda, and aftershave lotion?
Pal, you give me a medicine cabinet,
and I can make a Mickey out of anything.
Well, well, what a surprise, meeting you here.
Don't get up. Don't get up.
- What are you doing here? - Hello.
Jim! Who let this tarantula in?
You're looking well and just as charming as ever.
Well, let me see.
I think I've met all your friends
except for this handsome devil.
Hello, I'm Joan.
Better known in some circles as Mrs. Gibson I.
I wanna find a joint where the rats don't drink with the customers.
Is that a line from Kitten with a Bloody .45?
Magnum, order me a Scotch.
Magnum?
Are you friends with this witch?
W-We've been introduced.
Actually, we're practically going steady.
Buck loves to be titillated.
Oh, and speaking of that,
I have something here that will just
make you so happy.
Here, would you pass this to Mr. Gibson?
It's that court order you've been waiting for, love.
Stuff it back in your purse. I'm not touching it.
Drop it in his lap, T.C.
He doesn't have to besmirch his artistic paws.
Thanks, T.C.
Never let it be said that Buck ever put a pal on the spot.
Here, take this back to your attorney
and shove it in his flat briefcase.
Oh, still the insatiable intellectual curiosity
I fell in love with 20 years ago.
Well, ever mind, snuggles.
I've got a trunk full of these
and a telephone book full of process servers
waiting to deliver them.
I'm gonna wipe you out.
I'm gonna drop your cantaloupe
and furl your sail.
You know, 20 years ago,
Buck Gibson didn't know what a metaphor was.
Now he's mixing them.
Ah! Please don't beg me to stay.
I have to go share this with the world.
Put it in that antsy-pantsy intellectual column you write.
It'll be the best-kept secret in the Western Hemisphere!
What are you lookin' at?
You, loudmouth.
You listen, lard-gut, I'd like a few words with you.
Hey, Buck, Buck, just a second.
No, no, it's too late for him to apologize.
Buck, no, no! Come on.
Will you just stop it? He doesn't...
I think I broke my hand.
"The young weapons specialist, considered by many
to be the handsomest American in Saigon,
stepped from the shower,
water beading from his perfect body.
He smiled at the three eager B-girls and..."
Hey, Rick. How you doing?
Terrific. Hi, guys.
Just, uh, doing some notes for the club.
That's a lie.
You're writing a book about Nam.
Saigon Sex Machine?
Yeah.
Buck makes a $100,000 a year
writing this stuff and I can do it easy.
You write a story about Nam,
and I'll have my lawyers in here tomorrow.
You ain't got a lawyer.
I'll get one.
"...stepped from the shower,
water beading from his perfect body.
He smiled at the three eager B-girls..."
Nurse Chen, please check in at Station 4.
Oh, you look a little downhearted, boy.
I got just the cure for you.
Come join me on my... on my newest adventure.
Hang-gliding to Molokai.
- What? - Yeah.
- Do you know how far that is? - 28 miles.
Across one of the roughest channels in the world?
You got a broken hand, Buck, you got a broken foot.
A few cracked fossils aren't gonna stop Buck Gibson.
Come on. Let's have some fun. Live a little.
You know, that's the trouble with you.
Nothing stops Mad Buck.
I got a friend in here with his jaw wired shut because of you.
And another guy who's ready to kill him
for the same reason.
Well, fans. Aficionados. It's the price of glory.
Buck.
No more stunts.
Or what, pal?
Do you know anything about baseball?
Yeah, a little.
Sandy Koufax used to be a personal friend.
I tried to teach him how to throw...
Ah, yeah. Buck.
Well, see, I wanted to throw like Sandy, too.
As a matter of fact, I was pretty good.
I made starting pitcher on our baseball team.
That was a big deal because we'd been state champs for two years.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I was pretty tough.
Threw real hard, and my fastball moved real good.
I had a curve ball
so sweet it would break your heart.
So, you know what?
Every day after practice, I just expected this
big-league scout to be waiting with Sandy Koufax's uniform.
Yeah.
I know what you mean.
No, you don't.
No, you don't, Buck,
because the scout never came.
See, there was this other guy on the team,
and he practiced just as hard.
And it came time for the state championship.
The coach started the other kid.
And I took it pretty hard.
Yeah.
Actually, worse than pretty hard.
But I'll tell you something.
My dad
did me a big favor.
Made me really understand something.
About trying harder
or "Not everybody can be a winner"?
No. Not that.
He said, uh, "Athletics only last a summer,
however long that summer is."
Meaning what?
That physical ability is important,
but you can't define your life that way
because it doesn't last
and life goes on.
So all I'm trying to say, Buck,
is you can be exactly what you are.
You don't have to keep pulling these crazy stunts.
That's where you're wrong, buddy boy.
I do.
Excuse me, are you a friend of Mr. Gibson's?
Not exactly. Uh, yes.
I'm the ER resident.
I wanted to ask you a couple of questions about his medical history.
Excuse me, doctor.
Shouldn't you be getting that from him?
Believe me, I tried.
Mr. Gibson doesn't seem to have much regard for doctors.
If you have any influence with him,
urge him to go in for a complete physical.
Is something wrong?
Other than his fractures?
That's just it.
Sometimes almost spontaneous fractures
like these can be indicative of
a more serious disease.
Doctor, there's nothing spontaneous about his fractures.
First, parachuting in on the beach.
And then the guy in the bar must have weighed...
300 pounds, easy, and a fist like King Kong.
Yeah, Buck did let a few details slip.
Only thing,
there was absolutely no trauma
to the foot and none to the hand.
I can find no relation whatever between
these fractures and Mr. Gibson's stunts.
There was a lull in the Buck Gibson storm.
And I was going to take advantage of it.
The doctor had started my little voice talking.
And I didn't like what it was saying.
Now, I make it a rule of honor
to always respect another man's privacy.
But, after all, it was still my bathroom.
Uh, Jimmy.
Jimmy never would give me his recipe.
But I think I got his old Bazooka all figured out.
Two kinds of rum. Dark rum, light rum,
uh, guava and crème de menthe.
What do you think, huh?
Yeah, well, it smells close enough, all right.
Uh, say, Buck, you will tell me the truth on this, won't you?
Ooh, absolutely.
Brutally honest, old man, brutally honest.
Now let's see.
"He stepped from the shower,
"black and chiseled.
"The enveloping steam was like smoke.
Otis was ready for the night."
It needs ouzo.
Ouzo?
Yeah, yeah, lacks character.
Otis?
Otis! Oh, no, I like it, I like it so far.
It's... it's got, uh, guts.
Yeah, guts.
Oh, wait till you get to the tattoo scene.
I got plenty of guts there.
Yeah, I can hardly wait.
Now, listen.
Uh, T.C., I really want to do this justice.
But I... I think I can give it a better read
if I'm all by myself.
Yeah, sure. I don't want to mess with your concentration.
A-Alone, you know what I mean?
Oh, yeah, sure, sure.
- You don't mind, do you? - Oh, no. No.
Wanna take your drink with you?
Uh, no, I don't like to drink and drive, you know.
Yeah.
Magnificent, isn't it?
You talking about the scenery
or about Buck?
Why, Mr. Magnum,
I didn't know you were a man who liked riddles.
Well, I don't very much. I prefer straight talk.
Straight answers.
Sounds like you, uh, have some questions.
Yes, I do.
Starting with the pills Buck takes,
and the bones that were broken for no reason,
and Dr. Murphy in New York.
You talked to Dr. Murphy?
- How did you know about... - Prescription bottle.
But he wouldn't tell me anything.
A patient's records are confidential.
But his voice sure told me something.
You know, Magnum, I thought I was hiring a bodyguard,
not a detective.
How bad is it, Joan?
Probably nothing at all.
Or?
Look.
Buck has had a calcium problem since he was 20 years old.
If he doesn't take his pills...
Why does everyone automatically jump...
They ran a complete battery of tests on him
72 hours ago in New York.
We should know something by today.
But will Buck hang around New York?
No. He has to fly off here on an adventure.
Dr. Murphy was good enough to tell me about it.
So you made up the whole story
about the alimony so I'd stop him...
To keep him from making a fool of himself.
And I wish I could think of one good reason why I'm bothering.
Now if you come up with something preposterous
like I still care about him, or what he's doing or how...
God, I wish I had a cigarette.
Oh, no.
Stop! Stop this instant!
Relax, Higgins,
you got to blow it all once in a while.
I forbid you to...
You were supposed to protect...
Higgins, give me the keys to the Audi.
- If anything happens to that car... - Come on, I'm losing time.
You idiot!
Come on.
You wanna race?
Buck, pull over.
I'll spot you points.
Pull over.
Meet you back at the club.
I was looking at several very grim possibilities
involving the destruction of Buck,
the Ferrari, innocent bystanders,
or any combination thereof.
There were much fewer good possibilities
and they didn't come readily to mind.
Look out!
I'm out of the race.
- Get out of the car. - It was those goats.
Why do I always brake for animals?
Get out of the car!
All right, all right,
what's... what's the matter with you, boy?
You take a risk like that.
This is my skin.
And Robin's car.
He can buy another one. He can afford it, so can I.
And what about those people you almost killed,
can they buy another life?
Magnum, old boy, nobody was hurt.
By some incredible stroke of luck!
Look, Buck, if you want to kill yourself, leave the rest of the world out of it.
We'd like to live a few more years.
Yeah.
Buck, I know all about it.
Joan says that the doctor thinks the odds are
it's just your calcium deficiency.
Calcium deficiency?
Oh, Magnum.
Magnum, old boy, don't you have any sensibilities?
I'm a gambler. Well, I'm a writer.
All writers are gamblers.
I'm a carefree, happy-go-lucky,
adventuresome...
You know...
You see, I... I have... I have got to have
some fatal disease.
It's poetic.
Yeah.
Oh, boy, I'm tired. Bone-tired.
Like I've never been tired before.
I don't want to take that call from Murphy.
I don't want to know the results of the tests.
Come on, you got me talking maudlin.
I hate that. Take me home, will you?
Well, if I have to wait for that call with... with anybody,
it might as well be you.
"His massive biceps bulging,
his muscular chest covered with sweat,
Otis pulled Lotus Blossom's willing,
heaving body into the chopper.
As she covered his face with desperate kisses,
he fired his engine
determined to rescue the man who had sworn to kill him."
Well, the plot is thin, but it really isn't bad.
Coffee?
Uh, yeah, sure. Why not?
Answer that, will you?
Hello. Yeah, just a second.
T.C.
Oh.
Hiya, T.C. How you doin'?
Yeah, yeah. No, no, I haven't finished it yet.
But so far, so good.
Yeah, I'll let you know just as soon as I do.
Oh, you're... you're very welcome. Goodbye.
"Otis could feel Lotus Blossom's kiss.
It seemed to cling to his lips."
That's it. I've had it.
I'm going down to the Aloha. I need a Bazooka.
- Come on, Buck. - Take a message.
Hello. Yeah. Just a second.
It's New York.
It's Dr. Murphy.
Hiya, Murph. How you doing?
How's things in the Big Apple?
Yeah, sure, I'm sitting down. Why?
No kiddin'.
You're kidding!
That's marvelous.
Thank you, thank you, Murph. Yeah, thank you very much.
I'll see you. Goodbye.
I don't believe it. It's too corny.
What?
I really do have bone cancer.
I'm really gonna die.
Buck didn't seem as shaken by the news as you'd expect.
That made me suspicious.
Unfortunately, it didn't make me suspicious enough.
That evening we had a few drinks,
and Buck put a little surprise in mine.
He proved a Mickey Finn really could be made
from what was in a medicine cabinet.
I had no idea how long he'd been gone.
I had no idea what he was up to.
All I had was the worst headache of my life.
Magnum!
Come in.
I spoke to Dr. Murphy. You knew.
You found out yesterday?
Why didn't you tell me?
He made me promise I wouldn't.
So what?
Look, Joan, it's his life.
I hired you.
Yeah, to protect him.
And that's what I did, or at least I tried.
Well, not good enough. Not good enough at all.
Now, where is he?
I don't know.
"Sorry for the grief, pal.
I'm taking off for Asgard.
Tell Joan she's a brick. Buck."
Oh, the vanity...
Where is Asgard?
Not "where," Magnum, "what."
Asgard is Norse mythology,
it's the home of slain heroes.
Now we've got to find him before it's too late.
Joan, he could be anywhere.
But there's a treatment.
Dr. Murphy said he could... he could have a remission.
Please, Magnum, we can't just let him write himself off.
I know that.
Higgins.
Oh, Magnum.
Glorious morning, eh?
Have you seen Buck?
Obviously. Why else would I characterize the morning as glorious?
- What do you mean? - Don't you feel it, Magnum?
The comforting void of Buck's absence.
Did he say anything?
My, you're grim today.
Has he broken one of your few possessions?
Did he say anything, Higgins?
Yes. And quite out of character.
He apologized for any inconvenience he might have caused
and left a blank check to cover damages.
Gave me the impression he would be gone for some time.
Is something wrong?
You have any idea where he was going?
That, I'm afraid, is between Buck
and the cabby who called for him.
Magnum, what's going on?
If Buck was saying goodbye,
I knew one place in Honolulu he'd be sure to go.
I just hoped I wasn't too late.
Excuse me.
Oh, it's the beer drinker.
Is Buck around?
Look, it's important.
What a man does, where he goes,
that's his business, not mine.
I'm not a cop. I'm not a process server.
I'm a friend of his.
I never met a friend of Buck's who didn't drink a Bazooka.
I'm trying to save his life!
He was in here. But he's gone.
What did he say?
Nothing much. Just "aloha."
And something about
a new world's record hand-gliding.
Molokai.
Well, Magnum, I see you made it up in time to see me off.
How's your head?
Ah, what a glorious morning for flying.
Look at Molokai out there.
So close, I almost think I'm tempted to do it without wings.
Buck, just stop it. Just cut it out.
What are you sayin'?
I'm sayin'... You know what I'm sayin'.
I'm not gonna let you do it. Now let's get out of here.
No way.
I like the odds here a lot better than in New York.
There aren't any odds here, Buck, and you know it.
Come on, Buck, you've got a chance.
The doctor says...
Doctor! That's no doctor. That man is...
No, no. He's gonna cut me up. I'll die in little pieces.
And what's the alternative, Buck? Suicide?
Come on, you're not a quitter. You're a fighter.
At least I always thought so.
And so did a lot of your readers, like T.C.
They respect the way you live.
Well, then, for God's sake,
let them respect the way I'm gonna die.
Come on.
Is this the way it's going to end up with you and me?
Wrassling around here in the dirt
before you drag me down to your car?
Pal, come on.
Don't do this to me.
Well, then I won't do it to you.
I'll tell it to that little kid
who had a curve ball that would break your heart.
And who ached for Sandy Koufax's uniform.
You see, because I had a fantasy, too, once.
Never, never, ever, was I gonna be afraid of death.
- What? - Oh, yeah, always.
Always hated myself for it.
Yeah, I always...
I always ran just a little
too far out in front of the bulls
when we ran with them in Spain.
I always pulled the ripcord just one instant too soon.
I was always afraid of dying.
But now Death has screwed up.
He's overplayed his hand.
You see, it's the only thing
that we're really afraid of in death.
We know it's inevitable, we just don't know when.
But now, don't you see, now, I know
that Death can't cheat me of life,
can't cheat me of... of really,
truly living a full life.
Because now,
I don't have to hold back something
to save for tomorrow, for next year, next summer.
Now, I know that there never will be
another summer.
I know there never will be another
morning quite as glorious as this.
You see, I won
because I've nothing to lose.
What about Joan, Buck?
You know, she loves you very much.
Joan? Tell Joan...
What, Buck?
Tell Joan she's a good woman,
and I'll meet her for lunch on Molokai.
Give me a hand here, will you, and get this thing aloft.
Buck.
What's a pal for if not to see a pal off, huh?
Okay, drop the nose.
Don't look so grim, Magnum.
With my luck, I'll make it.