1 00:00:00,114 --> 00:00:02,136 I'm Mr. Magnum's manservant. 2 00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:06,214 I'm moving... out. 3 00:00:08,559 --> 00:00:10,978 I'll have my financial advisers get in touch with you. 4 00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:13,063 Financial advisers? 5 00:00:14,064 --> 00:00:16,316 Oui. 6 00:00:16,525 --> 00:00:18,193 You will pay for this. 7 00:00:20,612 --> 00:00:22,364 I was gonna go straight to bed. 8 00:00:22,573 --> 00:00:23,532 How convenient. 9 00:00:23,740 --> 00:00:26,201 There's no question that your benefactor was cruel. 10 00:00:26,410 --> 00:00:29,705 There always seemed to be something evil here. 11 00:01:43,751 --> 00:01:46,532 I personally checked out your new aircraft, sir. 12 00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:49,076 - No bombs, huh? - No, sir. 13 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:55,457 Carlton, sometimes I don't think you have a sense of humor. 14 00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:57,960 You know what they say about the British. 15 00:01:58,168 --> 00:02:00,796 I've been known to enjoy a good joke. 16 00:02:01,505 --> 00:02:02,756 Hey, what's this? 17 00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:08,136 You been sneaking food again, huh? 18 00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:11,932 I'll get that sense of humor yet, Mr. MacLeish. 19 00:02:25,691 --> 00:02:27,345 - Simon. - Carlton. 20 00:02:29,992 --> 00:02:31,493 What do you want? 21 00:02:31,577 --> 00:02:35,038 As estate bursar, I must protest your purchase of this toy. 22 00:02:35,163 --> 00:02:39,126 It's not a toy. It's stressed for seven Gs positive and three negative. 23 00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:40,711 You can't afford it, sir. 24 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,337 I've already paid for it. 25 00:02:42,421 --> 00:02:44,590 You're spending principal. 26 00:02:44,673 --> 00:02:46,883 Principal? Interest? So what? 27 00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:50,971 The difference, Uncle Wilson, is that you are destroying a fortune. 28 00:02:51,221 --> 00:02:55,309 A fortune that took this family generations to build. 29 00:02:55,434 --> 00:02:58,270 It's mine to destroy if I want to, isn't it? 30 00:02:58,562 --> 00:03:01,857 Yes, but there are other people to consider. 31 00:03:02,357 --> 00:03:05,902 Are you afraid there won't be any of the pie left for you? 32 00:03:06,194 --> 00:03:08,614 Don't worry. There'll be something in the will. 33 00:03:09,531 --> 00:03:11,199 You did check for bombs? 34 00:03:11,366 --> 00:03:15,162 Yes, sir. I went over the plane with the proverbial fine tooth comb. 35 00:03:15,954 --> 00:03:17,456 Well, ta-ta. 36 00:03:17,873 --> 00:03:20,292 Sir? About Sunday... 37 00:03:21,043 --> 00:03:22,252 What about it? 38 00:03:22,461 --> 00:03:25,047 I mentioned it. My Godson's baptism. 39 00:03:25,255 --> 00:03:27,299 I need you on the skeet range. 40 00:03:28,466 --> 00:03:31,178 Have Simon give the little nipper a sawbuck on me. 41 00:03:31,261 --> 00:03:32,304 Aloha. 42 00:03:32,596 --> 00:03:33,764 Hey, Steve! 43 00:04:38,292 --> 00:04:39,830 Where'd he go? 44 00:05:22,831 --> 00:05:24,082 Magnum. 45 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,793 Magnum! 46 00:05:27,085 --> 00:05:28,503 Magnum! 47 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:30,505 Hi, Higgins. 48 00:05:30,672 --> 00:05:33,467 How fiendishly deceptive, Magnum. 49 00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:37,721 I could have sworn I was hearing the emasculation of a large rodent. 50 00:05:38,013 --> 00:05:40,891 To my surprise, I see the sounds are emanating 51 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:44,394 from what I thought was a harmless musical instrument. 52 00:05:44,519 --> 00:05:46,688 Cute, Higgins. Real cute. 53 00:05:51,276 --> 00:05:52,694 Why, Magnum? 54 00:05:53,653 --> 00:05:55,489 Why do this terrible thing? 55 00:05:55,697 --> 00:06:00,202 I used to be good. I was second best sax player in my high school band. 56 00:06:00,786 --> 00:06:02,954 How many sax players were there? 57 00:06:05,290 --> 00:06:08,376 Anyway, I just saw this in a pawn shop window 58 00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:10,587 and thought I'd like to get my chops back. 59 00:06:10,796 --> 00:06:13,548 May I suggest that your chops are irretrievable? 60 00:06:13,757 --> 00:06:16,009 Did you come here just to abuse me? 61 00:06:16,134 --> 00:06:17,886 No. I came on two accounts. 62 00:06:18,053 --> 00:06:20,847 First, reimbursement for Mr. Masters' telescope 63 00:06:20,931 --> 00:06:23,391 which you destroyed on your last case. 64 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,311 I still don't understand how it could have melted. 65 00:06:26,394 --> 00:06:29,689 That requires a temperature of 1,300 degrees centigrade. 66 00:06:29,898 --> 00:06:33,527 That's 2,372 degrees Fahrenheit, if you need a conversion. 67 00:06:33,735 --> 00:06:36,196 I told you. The guy had a blowtorch. 68 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:38,824 I can't pay you because I haven't been paid. 69 00:06:38,907 --> 00:06:42,035 - But you bought the saxophone. - That's right. 70 00:06:42,577 --> 00:06:47,040 Let me understand. You have not been remunerated for your last case? 71 00:06:47,165 --> 00:06:48,250 Correct. 72 00:06:48,333 --> 00:06:53,004 But you admit you owe the estate $408 for the destruction of the telescope? 73 00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:56,424 Absolutely. I can explain. It's all perfectly logical. 74 00:06:56,508 --> 00:06:59,719 Now, I owe the estate $408, right? 75 00:06:59,928 --> 00:07:02,305 - We've established that. - Okay. 76 00:07:02,472 --> 00:07:04,766 The saxophone only cost 120. 77 00:07:04,850 --> 00:07:09,187 That's all the money I had, so I couldn't pay back the estate anyway. 78 00:07:11,606 --> 00:07:13,567 You said you came on two accounts. 79 00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:16,194 Yes... 80 00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:22,409 Forgive me for intruding... but we are in a hurry. 81 00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:28,248 Benton Quirk, Wilson MacLeish's attorney. 82 00:07:28,456 --> 00:07:30,041 Thomas Magnum. 83 00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:32,961 - You knew Wilson MacLeish? - I did a case for him. 84 00:07:33,128 --> 00:07:36,923 I was sorry to hear about the accident. What can I do for you? 85 00:07:37,132 --> 00:07:39,175 Would you accompany me? 86 00:07:40,051 --> 00:07:41,344 Accompany you where? 87 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:43,930 To the reading of Mr. MacLeish's will. 88 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:51,354 He was still so young. 89 00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,690 So full of life. 90 00:07:54,858 --> 00:07:57,485 I remember when he was a boy. 91 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:02,198 All us cousins used to get together at Christmas time 92 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:04,451 and sing carols. 93 00:08:06,828 --> 00:08:08,997 Silent Night... 94 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:14,711 Yeah. Silent Night was Wilson's favorite. 95 00:08:17,213 --> 00:08:21,176 ♪ Silent night... ♪ 96 00:08:21,259 --> 00:08:24,888 ♪ Holy night ♪ 97 00:08:25,764 --> 00:08:29,059 ♪ All is calm ♪ 98 00:08:29,517 --> 00:08:32,103 ♪ All is... ♪ 99 00:08:33,063 --> 00:08:35,106 - ♪ All is... ♪ - Bright. 100 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:38,026 Thank you. ♪ ...bright ♪ 101 00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:41,655 - ♪ Round yon... ♪ - Oh, turn off the tap, Marina! 102 00:08:41,780 --> 00:08:45,951 Tears won't do you any good now. Besides, you never could sing. 103 00:08:46,910 --> 00:08:49,120 I can't believe you, Tony. 104 00:08:49,371 --> 00:08:51,331 You are so cold. 105 00:08:51,414 --> 00:08:53,583 I mean, after all, he was your brother. 106 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:54,960 Half-brother. 107 00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:56,628 And it's easy to be cold. 108 00:08:56,711 --> 00:09:00,507 Wilson's mother was married to a MacLeish. Mine wasn't. 109 00:09:00,590 --> 00:09:03,635 - You sit there. - It's about time, Benton. 110 00:09:03,718 --> 00:09:05,470 Sorry we're late. 111 00:09:11,643 --> 00:09:13,979 Thank you all for coming. 112 00:09:19,609 --> 00:09:22,153 This is perhaps a bit unorthodox, 113 00:09:22,237 --> 00:09:24,572 but it was stipulated by the deceased. 114 00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:31,705 Fore! 115 00:09:31,997 --> 00:09:34,040 Whoops! 116 00:09:34,249 --> 00:09:37,002 Too hard. Okay. Take two. 117 00:09:37,335 --> 00:09:39,254 Howdy doody, partners. 118 00:09:39,337 --> 00:09:44,050 It's giveaway time, guys, so let's not waste any time, shall we? 119 00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:45,844 What is this? 120 00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:48,054 Mr. MacLeish wanted to read his will. 121 00:09:48,263 --> 00:09:51,016 I have the proper documents to corroborate it. 122 00:09:52,934 --> 00:09:56,187 I'm gonna get serious now. I hope you don't mind. 123 00:09:57,856 --> 00:10:01,276 I, Wilson Oliver MacLeish, being of sound mind and memory 124 00:10:01,359 --> 00:10:05,071 and not acting under duress, menace or undue influence, 125 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:09,993 do make, publish and declare this, my last will and testament. 126 00:10:10,201 --> 00:10:12,037 To my faithful manservant, Carlton, 127 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,330 I bequeath the sum of $40,000 128 00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,541 and my collection of English hunting prints. 129 00:10:16,875 --> 00:10:18,334 Oh. 130 00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:20,628 How generous. 131 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:25,050 To my gardener, Hiroshi Takai, I bequeath the sum of $10,000 132 00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:28,011 and the pickup truck which I purchased for his use. 133 00:10:28,303 --> 00:10:30,555 Oh, beautiful. 134 00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:33,183 To my loyal housekeeper, Ruth Steelman, 135 00:10:33,391 --> 00:10:35,518 I bequeath the sum of $10,000 136 00:10:35,685 --> 00:10:38,938 and the small Rodin bronze in my sitting room. Okay, Ruth? 137 00:10:39,122 --> 00:10:41,499 Isn't there anything about family members? 138 00:10:41,649 --> 00:10:42,776 Tony... 139 00:10:42,984 --> 00:10:44,194 He's coming to that. 140 00:10:44,819 --> 00:10:47,781 Now... for my beloved family. 141 00:10:49,407 --> 00:10:52,243 To my illegitimate half-brother, Anthony Silvano, 142 00:10:52,535 --> 00:10:56,372 in order to help him maintain the façade that's so important to him, 143 00:10:56,581 --> 00:11:00,960 I bequeath my complete wardrobe of dress clothes, 144 00:11:01,044 --> 00:11:03,088 including my matching velvet pumps. 145 00:11:03,713 --> 00:11:05,173 Is that all? 146 00:11:05,423 --> 00:11:06,257 No. 147 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:11,054 You also get my bubblegum trading card collection 148 00:11:11,262 --> 00:11:14,224 of the 1959 Washington Senators, 149 00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:19,020 including a baseball personally signed by Hoyt Wilhelm. 150 00:11:19,729 --> 00:11:24,067 He can't be serious. This is a joke. You're lucky you're dead! 151 00:11:24,359 --> 00:11:25,652 Same to you. 152 00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:30,073 To my nephew, Simon MacLeish, 153 00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:33,326 who worries over every single penny, 154 00:11:33,409 --> 00:11:37,497 I bequeath the sum of $500 for the purchase of an adding machine. 155 00:11:37,747 --> 00:11:38,998 What? 156 00:11:39,290 --> 00:11:42,085 Batteries not included. 157 00:11:45,547 --> 00:11:49,008 To my cousin, Marina Pepesco... 158 00:11:51,886 --> 00:11:56,766 who has tried so unsuccessfully and so often to marry money, 159 00:11:56,975 --> 00:12:00,395 I bequeath a membership in the Software Computer Dating Club 160 00:12:00,603 --> 00:12:04,858 and a year of ballroom dancing lessons at the studio of her choice. 161 00:12:04,983 --> 00:12:06,943 There must be some mistake. 162 00:12:09,571 --> 00:12:11,656 - He must have been... - No, Marina. 163 00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:14,242 I was not drunk when I made the will. 164 00:12:14,325 --> 00:12:16,494 But I'll bet you will be... 165 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:18,788 in about an hour? 166 00:12:18,997 --> 00:12:22,625 How dare he? After everything! How dare he? 167 00:12:22,834 --> 00:12:24,377 Oh, sit down, Marina. 168 00:12:24,586 --> 00:12:27,380 Theatrics will not get you another dime. 169 00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,093 The remainder of my estate, 170 00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:37,182 including all cash, properties, bonds, artworks and household pets, 171 00:12:37,307 --> 00:12:40,894 I bequeath to Mr. Thomas Sullivan Magnum. 172 00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:45,565 Aloha. 173 00:12:57,660 --> 00:13:00,038 - I have to live here? - Yes. 174 00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:03,708 The will stipulates that Mr. Magnum take up immediate residence 175 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:07,420 and retain the current staff for at least one year. 176 00:13:07,503 --> 00:13:09,130 This is ridiculous. 177 00:13:09,214 --> 00:13:13,927 You're gonna tell me he left all his money, $50 million, to a total stranger? 178 00:13:14,135 --> 00:13:16,262 Not quite a stranger. 179 00:13:16,307 --> 00:13:18,681 Mr. Magnum performed a service for Mr. MacLeish 180 00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:21,684 who, evidently, was quite satisfied. 181 00:13:22,227 --> 00:13:25,813 Carlton, sir. I look forward to serving you. 182 00:13:25,897 --> 00:13:29,067 - Hi, Mr. Carlton... - Save all of that, buster. 183 00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:30,818 I won't let this sit. 184 00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:32,528 We'll contest the will. 185 00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:34,072 - Wait a minute. - You bet your... 186 00:13:34,239 --> 00:13:38,493 No, wait a minute. This came as just as much of a surprise to me... 187 00:13:38,701 --> 00:13:41,579 - Sure. Big surprise. - I hardly knew the man. 188 00:13:41,663 --> 00:13:44,165 - Well enough to fix the will. - You cheat. 189 00:13:44,374 --> 00:13:47,627 I did not fix any will and I'm not trying to cheat anybody. 190 00:13:47,835 --> 00:13:51,589 Fine. Will you then forthwith renounce all claim to the estate? 191 00:13:52,211 --> 00:13:53,536 I don't know. 192 00:13:53,716 --> 00:13:54,842 Just as I thought. 193 00:13:55,093 --> 00:13:58,846 Wait a minute. Wait. We can work something out. 194 00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:02,058 Something fair. It's $50 million. 195 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:06,729 $50 million... 196 00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:11,359 I mean, they do have a point. 197 00:14:11,943 --> 00:14:13,903 It's for the courts to decide. 198 00:14:14,112 --> 00:14:16,239 We'll see you there, pal. 199 00:14:18,032 --> 00:14:21,119 Yeah. You got it? 200 00:14:26,624 --> 00:14:28,918 - Excuse us. - Of course. 201 00:14:30,044 --> 00:14:33,589 Mr. MacLeish also wanted you to have this videotape. 202 00:14:33,715 --> 00:14:36,592 I don't know what's on it, but he left instructions 203 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:39,512 that you were not to look at it until after you moved in. 204 00:14:41,139 --> 00:14:43,683 Congratulations, Mr. Magnum. 205 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:47,979 And, uh, if you ever need my services... 206 00:14:50,315 --> 00:14:53,484 "Benton Quirk." No, wait! I do have some... 207 00:14:53,568 --> 00:14:57,572 Mr. Magnum, I hope you will forgive my presumption. May I? 208 00:14:57,780 --> 00:14:58,765 What? 209 00:14:58,948 --> 00:15:00,575 Your hat, sir. 210 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,452 Oh. 211 00:15:02,952 --> 00:15:08,374 You are not accustomed to all this. Accustomed to having money. 212 00:15:08,583 --> 00:15:11,044 - Are you? - Sort of. 213 00:15:12,295 --> 00:15:16,674 Well, not exactly. I mean, not my own money. 214 00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:21,471 It's no crime, sir. May I? Your coat, please. 215 00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:30,229 You simply need... different sensibilities. 216 00:15:30,813 --> 00:15:34,067 Mr. Magnum, may I show you some things? 217 00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:35,610 This way, sir. 218 00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:40,073 $50 million! 219 00:15:42,533 --> 00:15:47,580 A Van Gogh... Picasso... Monet and a Renoir. 220 00:15:47,705 --> 00:15:50,249 Wilson's father had genuine taste in art. 221 00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:54,087 Wilson himself preferred pictures of little children with big eyes. 222 00:15:54,295 --> 00:15:56,923 The art in the house is worth over $10 million, 223 00:15:57,006 --> 00:16:00,510 not to mention the Chinese porcelain, the silver, 224 00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:06,015 the MacLeish stamp collection and even Wilson's gun collection. 225 00:16:06,182 --> 00:16:08,935 It's amazing that one who was so miserable a shot 226 00:16:09,018 --> 00:16:12,897 should take such a rabid interest in firearms. 227 00:16:13,022 --> 00:16:15,316 Excuse me. There you are, sir. 228 00:16:16,150 --> 00:16:18,111 That's a 17th-century duelling piece. 229 00:16:18,653 --> 00:16:20,029 A Lipscomb. 230 00:16:20,655 --> 00:16:21,823 May I? 231 00:16:22,031 --> 00:16:23,866 They're all yours now, sir. 232 00:16:34,043 --> 00:16:35,795 I'm sorry, sir. 233 00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:39,173 Another of Wilson MacLeish's legacies. 234 00:16:39,257 --> 00:16:42,135 He fancied himself a peerless practical joker. 235 00:16:42,552 --> 00:16:44,929 As you can see, I'm dying laughing. 236 00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:50,101 Of course. This, however, is my favorite. 237 00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:53,813 A Colt .45, vintage 1860. 238 00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,778 There we are. Excuse me, sir. 239 00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:06,659 The latest appraisal of the entire collection was $600,000, 240 00:17:06,784 --> 00:17:11,581 but that was years ago and I'm sure the value has risen since then. 241 00:17:12,373 --> 00:17:15,084 This is just a part of the fortune. 242 00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:16,878 It's all yours... 243 00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:21,257 and others will try to get a piece of it any way they can. 244 00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:25,678 Okay, this is all quite... weird. 245 00:17:25,761 --> 00:17:28,181 Now you can tell me why he left it to me. 246 00:17:28,764 --> 00:17:30,850 Actually, I've no idea, sir. 247 00:17:30,933 --> 00:17:34,854 Other than the fact that Mr. MacLeish found in you an honest man 248 00:17:34,937 --> 00:17:37,231 who did not take advantage of him. 249 00:17:37,315 --> 00:17:40,902 He may have decided to reward you at the expense of his relatives. 250 00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:45,531 I suppose that would be his ultimate... practical joke. 251 00:17:45,781 --> 00:17:51,245 There's no question that your benefactor was capricious, even cruel. 252 00:17:51,621 --> 00:17:53,414 This way, sir. 253 00:17:56,125 --> 00:17:58,336 To be quite honest with you, 254 00:17:58,419 --> 00:18:02,256 I'm not sure that Mr. MacLeish's death was an accident. 255 00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:03,841 Do the police know that? 256 00:18:03,925 --> 00:18:06,886 Oh, I have no evidence. Only intuition. 257 00:18:07,094 --> 00:18:09,680 I'm not particularly metaphysical, 258 00:18:09,764 --> 00:18:13,643 but there always seemed to be something evil here -- in this house. 259 00:18:13,768 --> 00:18:18,147 Perhaps I'm just a bit... superstitious, what with all the deaths. 260 00:18:18,272 --> 00:18:19,482 Deaths? 261 00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:21,317 Yes. For all their money, 262 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,820 the McLeishs tend to die young and unpleasantly. 263 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,365 However, I'm sure you'll break that tradition. 264 00:18:27,448 --> 00:18:29,909 After all, you're not a MacLeish. 265 00:18:30,952 --> 00:18:35,331 By the way, sir. The caterer called regarding the masquerade ball. 266 00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:36,499 Masquerade ball? 267 00:18:36,666 --> 00:18:39,877 Mr. MacLeish held one every year. 268 00:18:40,294 --> 00:18:43,297 In the ballroom. It's a tradition, sir. 269 00:18:43,839 --> 00:18:45,967 You are now the head of this house. 270 00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:49,554 - I don't know. - It is expected. 271 00:18:52,390 --> 00:18:55,351 Oh-ho, here are Tristan and Isolde. 272 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,938 Mr. MacLeish's only friends. Now they're yours. 273 00:19:01,023 --> 00:19:05,069 It's quite odd. They're usually quite friendly. 274 00:19:05,236 --> 00:19:07,989 Will you be moving in any pets of your own? 275 00:19:10,157 --> 00:19:13,536 Oh, yes, absolutely. We are taking that. 276 00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:16,747 - Let me relieve you. - Thank you. 277 00:19:30,761 --> 00:19:32,471 What the bloody hell is going on? 278 00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:42,064 I'm moving... out. 279 00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:46,902 You're what? 280 00:19:48,237 --> 00:19:50,239 I'm moving out. 281 00:19:50,865 --> 00:19:52,450 Well... 282 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,161 that's certainly delightful news, Magnum, 283 00:19:55,286 --> 00:19:57,246 but isn't it unfeasible? 284 00:19:57,330 --> 00:20:00,041 You can't even afford to replace Mr. Masters' telescope. 285 00:20:00,291 --> 00:20:02,001 I had a windfall. 286 00:20:02,209 --> 00:20:04,795 A few crumpled dollar bills found in a pocket, 287 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:06,881 or has this gentleman taken you in? 288 00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:10,384 - Quite the reverse, actually. - Oh, Carlton... 289 00:20:11,135 --> 00:20:14,388 this is Higgins. He's the major-domo around here. 290 00:20:14,597 --> 00:20:16,891 Higgins, this is Carlton. He's my... 291 00:20:17,725 --> 00:20:18,851 friend. 292 00:20:18,976 --> 00:20:23,981 You don't have to make excuses, sir. I'm Mr. Magnum's manservant. 293 00:20:27,568 --> 00:20:30,863 Really, Magnum, the lengths you'll go to for a joke. 294 00:20:31,072 --> 00:20:33,866 How did you acquire this manservant? 295 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,951 I inherited him. 296 00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:38,746 Yes, of course. The will. 297 00:20:38,829 --> 00:20:41,874 I suppose you inherited the entire MacLeish fortune? 298 00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:43,793 Just about. 299 00:20:47,088 --> 00:20:48,798 Congratulations, old buddy. 300 00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:51,258 I always knew my boy would make good. 301 00:20:52,802 --> 00:20:55,096 Perfect. The supporting players. 302 00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:59,392 You can finish without the audience. I have more important things to do... 303 00:20:59,462 --> 00:21:03,562 I say, Higgins, if you're leaving, would you lend a hand? 304 00:21:03,614 --> 00:21:04,855 There's a good chap. 305 00:21:05,314 --> 00:21:06,524 What? 306 00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:11,696 I say that I would appreciate a little bit of brotherly assistance. 307 00:21:13,364 --> 00:21:16,742 If there is the slightest validity to what I am witnessing, 308 00:21:16,867 --> 00:21:20,621 I can now be certain that our creator is not only indifferent, 309 00:21:20,746 --> 00:21:22,748 he is cruel. 310 00:21:29,630 --> 00:21:31,924 Not very sporting of him, eh, what? 311 00:21:32,007 --> 00:21:33,759 I'll help you with the bags. 312 00:21:33,884 --> 00:21:36,595 No, sir. I can manage -- however many trips. 313 00:21:37,304 --> 00:21:40,015 I'm sorry. Carlton, this is Orville Wright. 314 00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:42,643 - Sir. - No, this is Orville. 315 00:21:42,685 --> 00:21:44,645 This is Theodore Calvin. 316 00:21:44,729 --> 00:21:47,314 - Might you...? - Yeah, sure. 317 00:21:47,398 --> 00:21:50,568 - Thank you very much. - A gentleman's gentleman. 318 00:21:50,818 --> 00:21:53,529 I'm not gonna come down on you like a vulture. 319 00:21:53,654 --> 00:21:55,448 - Guys... - Neither am I. 320 00:21:55,531 --> 00:21:59,160 In fact, I'm gonna destroy the past. Your bar tabs. 321 00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:05,249 Your gas bills -- they are ancient history. 322 00:22:05,316 --> 00:22:07,752 I want you to think about tax shelters... 323 00:22:07,835 --> 00:22:08,961 Rick... 324 00:22:09,044 --> 00:22:11,422 You ought to invest in aviation, tourism. 325 00:22:11,547 --> 00:22:12,673 T.C. 326 00:22:12,798 --> 00:22:14,341 Can I fly you somewhere? 327 00:22:14,425 --> 00:22:16,051 Run down some plates...? 328 00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:18,637 Guys, wait, please! 329 00:22:18,888 --> 00:22:20,931 This is very disappointing. 330 00:22:21,056 --> 00:22:22,600 What? 331 00:22:22,850 --> 00:22:24,727 All this hustle. 332 00:22:27,021 --> 00:22:30,316 But... maybe we can work something out. 333 00:22:30,399 --> 00:22:34,445 I'll have my financial advisers get in touch with you next week. 334 00:22:34,737 --> 00:22:37,239 Financial advisers? We're your buddies. 335 00:22:37,323 --> 00:22:39,909 - Yeah. - Of course you are. 336 00:22:40,034 --> 00:22:44,413 But things have been so hectic lately that, frankly, all I want to do 337 00:22:44,497 --> 00:22:48,918 is go home to my nice, great big house 338 00:22:49,043 --> 00:22:53,380 and have a little drinky-poo and watch some telly. 339 00:22:53,464 --> 00:22:54,882 Ta. 340 00:22:59,345 --> 00:23:00,888 I know what you're thinking. 341 00:23:00,971 --> 00:23:05,184 Wilson MacLeish leaving me $50 million was a practical joke. 342 00:23:05,309 --> 00:23:08,854 I had the feeling the real reason was on the tape that he left me. 343 00:23:08,938 --> 00:23:13,192 I hoped it wasn't so funny that I was gonna be left in stitches. 344 00:23:22,117 --> 00:23:23,661 How's the whisky, Magnum? 345 00:23:25,579 --> 00:23:28,040 That's okay. It's good stuff. You deserve it. 346 00:23:28,290 --> 00:23:31,961 If you're sitting in my favorite chair with your feet on the ottoman, 347 00:23:32,044 --> 00:23:35,714 that means you've really moved in. Congratulations. 348 00:23:36,382 --> 00:23:38,133 It also means... 349 00:23:41,345 --> 00:23:42,930 that I've been murdered. 350 00:23:43,722 --> 00:23:46,809 One of my relatives did it for the inheritance. 351 00:23:47,059 --> 00:23:50,020 But I fooled him or her. I gave it to you. 352 00:23:50,104 --> 00:23:52,940 And now I want you to find out which one of them it was. 353 00:23:54,441 --> 00:23:56,443 You owe it to me, Magnum. 354 00:23:58,028 --> 00:23:59,989 Or may I put it another way? 355 00:24:00,114 --> 00:24:03,534 This $50 million is the biggest fee you'll ever get. 356 00:24:06,245 --> 00:24:07,705 - Guess who? - Aargh! 357 00:24:10,207 --> 00:24:11,584 Surprised you. 358 00:24:14,128 --> 00:24:17,298 You certainly did. How did you get in? 359 00:24:17,381 --> 00:24:20,342 Uh, Wilson gave me this. 360 00:24:21,468 --> 00:24:25,389 I thought that tonight would be a good time to return it. 361 00:24:26,265 --> 00:24:29,101 It's, uh... Carlton's night off, isn't it? 362 00:24:29,810 --> 00:24:31,270 Yes, it is. 363 00:24:32,813 --> 00:24:34,106 So... 364 00:24:34,899 --> 00:24:36,233 there. 365 00:24:36,692 --> 00:24:40,613 Your house is now... impenetrable. 366 00:24:42,197 --> 00:24:43,824 Almost. 367 00:24:44,867 --> 00:24:48,412 You know, from the moment I first met you, 368 00:24:48,537 --> 00:24:51,457 I thought we could become... friends. 369 00:24:53,250 --> 00:24:55,628 How about making me a drink? 370 00:24:55,878 --> 00:24:57,755 Oh, well... 371 00:24:57,838 --> 00:25:00,341 I'm tired. I was gonna go straight to bed. 372 00:25:00,674 --> 00:25:02,426 How convenient. 373 00:25:05,429 --> 00:25:08,265 Look, maybe we could have lunch sometime. 374 00:25:11,727 --> 00:25:14,063 Well, Mr. Magnum... 375 00:25:14,188 --> 00:25:16,774 if we go to court over the will, 376 00:25:16,899 --> 00:25:19,985 it could tie the assets up for an awfully long time. 377 00:25:21,445 --> 00:25:25,699 So, what I would really like to do is work something out. 378 00:25:25,824 --> 00:25:29,954 You know? Just... between... you and me. 379 00:25:32,498 --> 00:25:35,584 - What about your cousins? - What they don't know... 380 00:25:35,793 --> 00:25:38,712 Won't hurt them? I thought you might say that. 381 00:25:38,796 --> 00:25:40,798 Why don't I make you that drink? 382 00:25:42,716 --> 00:25:44,301 Scotch. 383 00:25:48,806 --> 00:25:50,349 Marina... 384 00:25:51,141 --> 00:25:56,397 what if I told you that Wilson might have been murdered? 385 00:25:57,231 --> 00:25:58,899 Murdered? 386 00:25:59,316 --> 00:26:00,651 How dreadful. 387 00:26:02,361 --> 00:26:04,530 Do you have any idea who might... 388 00:26:05,364 --> 00:26:07,074 want to kill him? 389 00:26:08,242 --> 00:26:09,910 Simon or Tony. 390 00:26:10,577 --> 00:26:13,831 Either one would have done it for the inheritance. 391 00:26:15,708 --> 00:26:18,002 They expected to be well remembered? 392 00:26:18,794 --> 00:26:20,254 We all did. 393 00:26:22,756 --> 00:26:26,427 You're not implying that I might have killed Wilson? 394 00:26:26,677 --> 00:26:29,388 No. You just did. 395 00:26:35,936 --> 00:26:38,605 Marina... 396 00:26:38,689 --> 00:26:41,275 you've seen too many Bette Davis movies. 397 00:26:41,567 --> 00:26:44,153 He was my cousin, damn it! 398 00:26:44,278 --> 00:26:47,448 I'm entitled to some of the fortune, not you! 399 00:26:47,531 --> 00:26:50,075 Why, I practically grew up in this house! 400 00:26:50,284 --> 00:26:52,494 Then you'll know how to let yourself out. 401 00:27:06,175 --> 00:27:08,635 The house was old, but comfortable... 402 00:27:08,844 --> 00:27:11,430 if you liked sleeping in gymnasiums. 403 00:27:11,805 --> 00:27:15,934 That's why when the lights went out, I knew something was up. 404 00:27:16,602 --> 00:27:19,063 Of course, I was prepared. 405 00:27:59,353 --> 00:28:01,438 Cut it out! Just cut it out! 406 00:28:32,636 --> 00:28:33,887 Aloha. 407 00:28:57,875 --> 00:29:00,289 How did they know you'd hit that step? 408 00:29:00,497 --> 00:29:02,624 That's about as clever as you can get. 409 00:29:02,708 --> 00:29:05,210 - Maybe they didn't. - You think it was luck? 410 00:29:05,294 --> 00:29:07,379 Sure. Bad luck -- just an accident. 411 00:29:07,462 --> 00:29:09,173 Oh, come on, Thomas. 412 00:29:09,256 --> 00:29:13,343 It's an old house. Lights can go out, floorboards can give way. 413 00:29:13,427 --> 00:29:15,846 Yeah, and things can go bump in the night. 414 00:29:15,928 --> 00:29:18,891 That's a murder attempt if I ever saw one. 415 00:29:18,974 --> 00:29:22,477 Yeah? Then why didn't they try to finish me off? 416 00:29:22,561 --> 00:29:25,480 It's supposed to look accidental. 417 00:29:25,689 --> 00:29:27,941 - I wonder what they'll try next. - Rick?! 418 00:29:28,025 --> 00:29:30,527 I saw a movie when they killed this guy. 419 00:29:30,736 --> 00:29:34,156 They threw an electric lawnmower in the bathtub. 420 00:29:34,948 --> 00:29:37,242 It fried him just like that. 421 00:29:37,492 --> 00:29:39,203 You better take showers. 422 00:29:40,037 --> 00:29:43,123 - Guys. - Stay out of the kitchen too. 423 00:29:43,207 --> 00:29:45,792 All sorts of things can happen in there. 424 00:29:46,101 --> 00:29:48,462 Gas, poisoning, garbage disposal. 425 00:29:48,545 --> 00:29:50,005 Garbage disposals? 426 00:29:50,172 --> 00:29:51,632 Uh-huh. 427 00:29:51,965 --> 00:29:56,386 Yeah. Look on the bright side -- at least nobody's shooting at you. 428 00:30:22,829 --> 00:30:24,831 - This is Mr. Magnum. - Hello. 429 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:28,293 Hello. So glad you could come. 430 00:30:28,418 --> 00:30:32,464 Oh, Mr. Magnum, I knew we should not have oiled this visor. 431 00:30:40,472 --> 00:30:42,641 Très bien, Your Majesty. 432 00:30:42,891 --> 00:30:47,187 And it's so good to see Her Majesty. You look divine. 433 00:30:47,646 --> 00:30:49,231 Just divine. 434 00:30:49,314 --> 00:30:52,526 He got my costume. I'm not gonna forgive him for this. 435 00:30:55,028 --> 00:30:56,196 Oui. 436 00:30:56,571 --> 00:30:59,449 You will pay for this. You will pay for this. 437 00:30:59,658 --> 00:31:01,118 You will both pay for this. 438 00:31:16,425 --> 00:31:19,303 Higgins! You came! 439 00:31:21,305 --> 00:31:24,182 I see wealth hasn't dimmed your perspicacity. 440 00:31:24,308 --> 00:31:26,977 - My what? - Never mind. 441 00:31:27,269 --> 00:31:29,104 I'm sure you remember Carlton. 442 00:31:29,354 --> 00:31:30,480 Higgins. 443 00:31:31,148 --> 00:31:33,942 - How do you do? - Very well, thank you. 444 00:31:35,485 --> 00:31:39,072 The reason I'm here -- the only reason I'm here -- 445 00:31:39,197 --> 00:31:42,200 is that I'm duty-bound by the charities involved. 446 00:31:42,409 --> 00:31:44,161 Of course. 447 00:31:44,369 --> 00:31:47,539 Now, however difficult this may be for me to say, 448 00:31:47,998 --> 00:31:51,877 I have always found in you... well... 449 00:31:52,669 --> 00:31:53,879 character. 450 00:31:54,129 --> 00:31:56,590 I think you will do right by this inheritance. 451 00:31:56,673 --> 00:31:59,509 Thank you, Higgins. I intend to. 452 00:32:00,510 --> 00:32:05,182 Good. I'll call you tomorrow to discuss your contributions. 453 00:32:12,147 --> 00:32:15,233 We gotta do something about that dummy Magnum. 454 00:32:15,359 --> 00:32:17,986 We are. I filed suit this morning. 455 00:32:18,070 --> 00:32:22,532 That'll only take forever. Wilson really stuck it to us this time. 456 00:32:22,741 --> 00:32:24,993 You know, I always hated that jerk. 457 00:32:25,077 --> 00:32:27,496 When we were kids I loaned him my Johnny Ray records 458 00:32:27,579 --> 00:32:29,206 and he never gave them back. 459 00:32:29,289 --> 00:32:33,460 I always figured that's okay because he's my brother... kinda. 460 00:32:33,919 --> 00:32:38,048 I figured he'd always take care of me, you know what I mean? 461 00:32:38,173 --> 00:32:40,092 I wish I had those records back. 462 00:32:40,342 --> 00:32:43,428 With $50 million you can buy all the records you want. 463 00:32:43,512 --> 00:32:45,514 Simon, I need a drink. 464 00:32:50,811 --> 00:32:51,812 Thank you. 465 00:32:55,023 --> 00:32:58,902 Maybe you should try and get to know Magnum a little better. 466 00:32:59,111 --> 00:33:01,655 I'll bet she already has. 467 00:33:04,324 --> 00:33:08,245 Carlton... try not to be obvious, 468 00:33:08,328 --> 00:33:11,873 but take a look at that Grim Reaper over there. 469 00:33:13,417 --> 00:33:15,168 Do you remember him coming in? 470 00:33:16,169 --> 00:33:17,671 No, sir. 471 00:33:17,796 --> 00:33:19,548 Any idea who he is? 472 00:33:19,673 --> 00:33:20,882 None. 473 00:33:24,886 --> 00:33:27,264 Shall I ask to see his invitation? 474 00:33:27,472 --> 00:33:29,975 No. I will. 475 00:33:30,809 --> 00:33:32,269 What about the guests? 476 00:33:32,644 --> 00:33:34,813 Let them eat cake. 477 00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:06,238 All right. Put the papers down. 478 00:35:12,994 --> 00:35:14,621 Now take off the mask. 479 00:35:18,333 --> 00:35:20,210 You'll have to do it for the police. 480 00:35:20,585 --> 00:35:22,170 You do it. 481 00:35:46,444 --> 00:35:49,030 Come back here! Help! 482 00:35:50,949 --> 00:35:52,242 Help! 483 00:35:56,371 --> 00:35:57,831 Help! 484 00:35:59,082 --> 00:36:00,667 I say, Magnum, 485 00:36:00,917 --> 00:36:04,421 one shouldn't lie down in a suit of armor. It's impossible to get up. 486 00:36:04,671 --> 00:36:07,382 I did not lie down, I was knocked down. 487 00:36:07,591 --> 00:36:12,262 I read about a knight in the Crusades who was chasing a Saracen woman. 488 00:36:12,387 --> 00:36:16,474 He fell on his back while amorously aroused and starved to death. 489 00:36:16,641 --> 00:36:18,685 Help me up before he gets away. 490 00:36:18,810 --> 00:36:20,770 - Who? - The Grim Reaper. 491 00:36:20,854 --> 00:36:23,565 - He was stealing from the safe. - How bizarre. 492 00:36:23,773 --> 00:36:24,649 Higgins! 493 00:37:52,153 --> 00:37:54,698 Where am I? Where am I? 494 00:37:54,823 --> 00:37:56,449 Magnum? 495 00:37:58,618 --> 00:38:01,329 Higgins, where did he go? 496 00:38:11,715 --> 00:38:14,884 I still can't figure out how the Grim Reaper got outta here. 497 00:38:15,009 --> 00:38:16,636 Seems obvious. 498 00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:20,473 Yeah. He scampered up the wall and out that little window. 499 00:38:21,099 --> 00:38:23,351 - Not at all. - What then? 500 00:38:23,435 --> 00:38:28,148 He broke down his molecular structure and beamed himself to Waikiki? 501 00:38:28,231 --> 00:38:30,108 Magnum, it's so simple. 502 00:38:30,189 --> 00:38:33,486 A house of this period, designed, I believe, by LeVassier -- 503 00:38:34,446 --> 00:38:36,531 almost a standard fixture. 504 00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,162 A secret panel à la Bela Lugosi? Come on. 505 00:38:42,620 --> 00:38:45,957 Precisely. The only problem is finding it. 506 00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:47,500 It might take... 507 00:38:50,378 --> 00:38:52,046 some time. 508 00:39:52,649 --> 00:39:54,150 Bubbly? 509 00:39:55,568 --> 00:39:59,906 Devigny Père et Fils '53. Last case left in the world. 510 00:40:00,698 --> 00:40:02,700 Wilson MacLeish. 511 00:40:03,159 --> 00:40:04,702 In the flesh. 512 00:40:05,453 --> 00:40:06,746 Why? 513 00:40:06,996 --> 00:40:08,164 Neat trick, huh? 514 00:40:08,248 --> 00:40:10,542 Hated to trash the plane, but c'est la vie. 515 00:40:10,625 --> 00:40:12,794 The best part was my funeral. 516 00:40:12,961 --> 00:40:16,589 Seeing all the gang, the crocodile tears, phony speeches. 517 00:40:16,798 --> 00:40:20,009 I loved it. Hell, even the party was fun, man. 518 00:40:20,093 --> 00:40:22,345 Remind me to change the caterer, though. 519 00:40:22,971 --> 00:40:24,305 Why? 520 00:40:24,556 --> 00:40:27,183 Because the food was terrible, man. 521 00:40:27,475 --> 00:40:31,563 That's not what Magnum means. He wants to know why you did it. 522 00:40:31,771 --> 00:40:34,274 I suspected one of my relatives was out to get me. 523 00:40:34,357 --> 00:40:36,651 Maybe I'm paranoid but I had to find out. 524 00:40:36,860 --> 00:40:38,862 So you made me a target? 525 00:40:38,987 --> 00:40:41,948 I thought you could catch the one and then I'd reappear. 526 00:40:43,992 --> 00:40:45,994 I'm sorry about your leg, pal. 527 00:40:46,661 --> 00:40:48,538 That was me with the lights. 528 00:40:48,746 --> 00:40:51,916 Got some wires crossed. It's an old house. 529 00:40:53,710 --> 00:40:55,837 Why risk showing yourself tonight? 530 00:40:56,045 --> 00:41:00,633 Partly to listen in on my relatives and because I made one mistake. 531 00:41:01,342 --> 00:41:03,428 I left the real will in the safe! 532 00:41:03,636 --> 00:41:07,849 I knew Carlton would find out. He knows everything, the meddling idiot. 533 00:41:08,099 --> 00:41:10,727 He knows now you weren't leaving him zip. 534 00:41:10,977 --> 00:41:14,188 Big deal. He gets a pay check, room and board. 535 00:41:14,272 --> 00:41:17,650 Anyway, what do you think? 536 00:41:18,484 --> 00:41:20,320 Which one was out to get me? 537 00:41:20,570 --> 00:41:25,116 I doubt if they were. But if they were, I sure as hell wouldn't blame them. 538 00:41:25,325 --> 00:41:26,367 Magnum. 539 00:41:26,492 --> 00:41:28,661 Higgins, look at the way he uses people, 540 00:41:28,870 --> 00:41:30,330 like more of his possessions. 541 00:41:30,413 --> 00:41:32,624 Carlton, his family, his relatives. 542 00:41:32,832 --> 00:41:34,459 They don't seem to mind. 543 00:41:34,667 --> 00:41:40,131 Well, they can't afford to. But I mind. I mind a whole lot! 544 00:41:40,340 --> 00:41:42,634 You set me up like a sitting duck. 545 00:41:42,717 --> 00:41:43,927 You had a good week. 546 00:41:44,552 --> 00:41:46,137 That's not the point! 547 00:41:46,888 --> 00:41:51,267 Oh, I get it. You were sore about the money. 548 00:41:55,229 --> 00:41:59,150 You didn't really think I would leave you $50 million? 549 00:41:59,692 --> 00:42:02,070 That's not the point either! 550 00:42:02,153 --> 00:42:06,699 The point is you are a worthless human being. 551 00:42:06,950 --> 00:42:08,952 Let's not be bitter about this. 552 00:42:09,035 --> 00:42:12,872 I'm gonna do right by you. What do you say to 25 big ones? 553 00:42:14,916 --> 00:42:18,044 Okay. 50. That'll buy a lot of Mai Tais. 554 00:42:20,588 --> 00:42:22,382 I'll settle for this. 555 00:42:22,632 --> 00:42:23,758 What? 556 00:42:23,841 --> 00:42:25,426 Magnum, don't. He's not worth it. 557 00:42:25,510 --> 00:42:27,011 Of course I'm not. 558 00:42:27,220 --> 00:42:28,554 Really! 559 00:42:31,140 --> 00:42:32,183 No. 560 00:42:36,813 --> 00:42:38,940 You can always drink Mai Tais. 561 00:42:46,906 --> 00:42:51,160 I had the perfect investment. A $4 million condo deal on Bora Bora. 562 00:42:51,244 --> 00:42:53,871 I take a finder's fee of that and it's... 563 00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:57,125 - It's $240,000. - Lost. 564 00:42:57,208 --> 00:43:00,920 That's just like you, Orville, always thinking about yourself. 565 00:43:01,462 --> 00:43:03,548 - Now, me... - Hi, guys. 566 00:43:03,631 --> 00:43:07,218 Don't "Hi, guys" us. You owe the club a lot of money. 567 00:43:07,427 --> 00:43:10,221 I thought you were destroying the past. 568 00:43:10,304 --> 00:43:12,807 I just decided to reconstruct it. 569 00:43:13,016 --> 00:43:15,518 And don't forget your gas bills either. 570 00:43:15,768 --> 00:43:16,853 T.C... 571 00:43:16,936 --> 00:43:19,147 - Don't look for sympathy. - Let's get out of here. 572 00:43:19,355 --> 00:43:21,107 You can buy us a drink. 573 00:43:21,315 --> 00:43:24,068 Your manservant ain't serving today. 574 00:43:26,487 --> 00:43:29,323 You go ahead. I'll meet you at the club. 575 00:43:29,574 --> 00:43:31,409 - Why? - Well... 576 00:43:33,661 --> 00:43:37,915 I just wanted to have one last look at the place. 577 00:43:41,794 --> 00:43:44,589 You know, guys... 578 00:43:46,382 --> 00:43:50,053 for a while there, it was sorta nice. 579 00:43:55,975 --> 00:43:57,101 Nothing. 580 00:43:58,394 --> 00:44:00,271 No thing at all. 581 00:44:00,396 --> 00:44:02,315 You were leaving me nothing. 582 00:44:02,398 --> 00:44:06,152 That's not true. That's why I was taking the will out of the safe. 583 00:44:06,235 --> 00:44:09,781 I realized that I'd overlooked you. I was gonna call Quirk and put you in. 584 00:44:09,864 --> 00:44:13,159 - I'm telling it like it is. - Please. "Tell it as it is." 585 00:44:13,242 --> 00:44:15,286 Don't die with wretched grammar. 586 00:44:15,536 --> 00:44:17,747 Okay. As it is, pal. 587 00:44:17,955 --> 00:44:20,500 Good. Do you know how long I've worked for you? 588 00:44:20,750 --> 00:44:23,586 Sure. 15 years. 15 years or so... 589 00:44:23,711 --> 00:44:24,962 25. 590 00:44:25,213 --> 00:44:27,381 25 miserable years I baby-sat you, 591 00:44:27,465 --> 00:44:30,218 I tolerated your humor, I endured your jokes, 592 00:44:30,426 --> 00:44:33,096 I put you to bed when you were drunk, 593 00:44:33,304 --> 00:44:36,474 I fixed it with that... Hungarian acrobat... 594 00:44:36,724 --> 00:44:38,017 I know. Hey, hey. 595 00:44:38,101 --> 00:44:40,061 Now, she was really good. 596 00:44:40,144 --> 00:44:42,897 But not once did you ever thank me. 597 00:44:43,022 --> 00:44:46,025 I suppose I didn't really expect thanks from you. 598 00:44:46,234 --> 00:44:50,780 Hey, I-I-I said thank you. I remember that. A bunch of times! 599 00:44:50,988 --> 00:44:54,826 What I expected, however, was just a little something in the will. 600 00:44:54,909 --> 00:44:56,536 Just a little something. 601 00:44:56,661 --> 00:45:00,998 Whether or not I lived to get it, wouldn't matter, but to know that it was there. 602 00:45:01,269 --> 00:45:04,647 It'll be there. I swear it'll be there. 603 00:45:04,794 --> 00:45:08,005 And I swear, Mr. MacLeish, that it is too late. 604 00:45:08,464 --> 00:45:10,716 There'll be a whole lot more. 605 00:45:10,925 --> 00:45:14,595 As much as you want. Anything you want. Gimme a break! 606 00:45:14,804 --> 00:45:16,639 - Too late. - Carlton! 607 00:45:19,308 --> 00:45:20,685 Don't do it. 608 00:45:20,977 --> 00:45:22,728 Magnum, thank God. 609 00:45:22,812 --> 00:45:24,939 Mr. Magnum, stay out of this. 610 00:45:25,439 --> 00:45:28,442 - Give me the gun. - Stay where you are. 611 00:45:28,747 --> 00:45:30,707 Sir, don't come any closer. 612 00:45:30,862 --> 00:45:34,532 - I shouldn't like to kill you too. - I don't think you will. 613 00:45:53,467 --> 00:45:55,136 Very well. 614 00:45:56,220 --> 00:45:58,306 You shouldn't have stopped me. 615 00:45:58,431 --> 00:46:00,349 He's treated you as he treated everyone else. 616 00:46:00,433 --> 00:46:02,059 Worse, he made you a target. 617 00:46:02,185 --> 00:46:03,644 I can handle it. 618 00:46:03,895 --> 00:46:05,813 You won't regret it, I promise. 619 00:46:06,606 --> 00:46:10,985 Mr. Magnum, do you realize if you kill him, 620 00:46:11,068 --> 00:46:13,404 you keep the fortune, everything? 621 00:46:13,654 --> 00:46:15,031 Carlton, you're fired. 622 00:46:17,408 --> 00:46:21,370 Isn't it ironic that if you save his life, you lose everything? 623 00:46:21,495 --> 00:46:23,706 Carlton, you'll never work in this town again. 624 00:46:23,915 --> 00:46:27,877 What a wretched and short-sighted morality you have. 625 00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:30,463 Okay, Carlton, I'm gonna have you arrested! 626 00:46:31,246 --> 00:46:32,497 Shut up! 627 00:46:32,753 --> 00:46:33,712 Magnum... 628 00:46:33,841 --> 00:46:35,968 Do it. Do it. 629 00:46:36,219 --> 00:46:37,470 You wouldn't? 630 00:46:37,720 --> 00:46:40,431 You really think you'd be missed by anyone? 631 00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:42,975 - That isn't the point. - Isn't it? 632 00:46:43,184 --> 00:46:47,146 All you have to prove your worth, is the friends you leave behind. 633 00:46:47,355 --> 00:46:49,357 I'm sorry about your leg, pal. 634 00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:51,776 And you don't seem to have any. 635 00:46:51,984 --> 00:46:55,821 You give people a motive, Wilson, they might just kill you. 636 00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:58,658 You won't get away with this. 637 00:46:58,908 --> 00:47:01,285 I won't tell anybody. 638 00:47:01,702 --> 00:47:04,288 Well, you just... No. 639 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:06,707 No! 640 00:47:13,631 --> 00:47:17,843 You know, Carlton, I just cannot resist a good practical joke. 641 00:47:26,394 --> 00:47:29,355 - Join me for a drink? - It'll be my pleasure, sir.