1 00:00:00,127 --> 00:00:01,111 Come back here! 2 00:00:05,073 --> 00:00:07,034 We were cleaned out. We've been hit. 3 00:00:07,242 --> 00:00:08,702 Nobody hits a lady. 4 00:00:09,620 --> 00:00:11,205 Anybody got your rent? 5 00:00:11,413 --> 00:00:13,290 Have you ever thought about trying to buy the place? 6 00:00:13,499 --> 00:00:14,875 Why don't you go back to work? 7 00:00:20,839 --> 00:00:23,967 It wasn't my fault. Some jerk put the beer-- 8 00:00:24,051 --> 00:00:25,177 In the aisle. 9 00:01:59,846 --> 00:02:01,690 Somebody once described great art 10 00:02:01,773 --> 00:02:03,775 as "an improvement on perfection." 11 00:02:03,984 --> 00:02:07,529 I can't remember if it was Picasso or Higgins. 12 00:02:07,613 --> 00:02:11,116 I felt the satisfaction of the artist with my improvement 13 00:02:11,325 --> 00:02:13,660 on the simple perfection of the beer can. 14 00:02:13,744 --> 00:02:16,079 This wasn't just a stack of cheap six-packs. 15 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:21,084 Here we had A study in Day-N-Dark Extra Light by T. Magnum, 16 00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:22,586 signed and dated. 17 00:02:22,669 --> 00:02:25,130 Magnum, that'll last about 10 minutes. 18 00:02:25,631 --> 00:02:27,716 You've got the beer curving out into the aisle 19 00:02:27,841 --> 00:02:30,218 where some klutz is bound to knock it over. 20 00:02:30,302 --> 00:02:33,096 Look, Magnum, if you must play at being an employee, 21 00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:34,973 at least try to be convincing. 22 00:02:35,057 --> 00:02:37,893 Okay, fine, so you don't like me being here, fine, 23 00:02:38,018 --> 00:02:39,811 but don't blow my cover. 24 00:02:39,936 --> 00:02:41,688 I'm doing my best to look legit. 25 00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:44,858 Legit Day-N-Dark employees do not waste their time 26 00:02:44,941 --> 00:02:47,402 trying to make beer cans look like Rodin. 27 00:02:47,527 --> 00:02:50,072 Rodin? You really think it's that good? 28 00:02:50,322 --> 00:02:51,865 I really think 29 00:02:51,948 --> 00:02:54,368 that I am really upset that our corporate brains 30 00:02:54,451 --> 00:02:57,704 chose to put a beach boy turned private eye into my store. 31 00:02:57,788 --> 00:02:59,790 - Now, hold on. I am-- - That I cannot change. 32 00:02:59,873 --> 00:03:01,375 But, I can remind you 33 00:03:01,458 --> 00:03:03,710 that you were not commissioned to do a sculpture, 34 00:03:03,794 --> 00:03:06,463 you were hired to investigate the robberies. 35 00:03:06,588 --> 00:03:08,757 So, investigate. 36 00:03:18,016 --> 00:03:21,561 It wasn't my fault. Some jerk put the beer-- 37 00:03:21,645 --> 00:03:23,146 In the aisle. 38 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,148 Yes, I know. 39 00:03:25,899 --> 00:03:29,486 Get the mop, Magnum. Your sculpture's leaking. 40 00:03:31,071 --> 00:03:33,490 I want a strawberry cup-a-dream. 41 00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:35,659 Please. 42 00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:37,494 Please. 43 00:03:49,756 --> 00:03:51,383 And some more quarters. 44 00:04:03,979 --> 00:04:05,063 Have a nice day. 45 00:04:05,647 --> 00:04:06,982 No, wait! 46 00:04:07,107 --> 00:04:09,276 Come back with my quarters. 47 00:04:13,363 --> 00:04:14,364 Come back here! 48 00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:18,535 Jeanie, look what you're doing. 49 00:04:18,869 --> 00:04:20,120 What's he doing? 50 00:04:29,755 --> 00:04:31,423 Are you all right? Anybody hurt? 51 00:04:31,673 --> 00:04:33,925 Oh, no, no. We're fine. 52 00:04:34,676 --> 00:04:36,678 What have they done to my display? 53 00:04:36,803 --> 00:04:40,390 Oh, it's not their fault. It's the kid and that guy in the Street Rod. 54 00:04:40,599 --> 00:04:43,059 Are you ladies all right? Should I call an ambulance? 55 00:04:43,185 --> 00:04:44,811 Oh, no. No, we're all right. 56 00:04:44,895 --> 00:04:46,938 I'm awfully sorry. I meant to hit the brake. 57 00:04:47,439 --> 00:04:50,400 - You're getting all wet. - Oh, well... 58 00:04:50,484 --> 00:04:52,903 Look, if you'll take care of the ladies, I'll go call the police. 59 00:04:53,111 --> 00:04:54,321 Police? 60 00:04:54,404 --> 00:04:57,699 Nobody is going anywhere, until I find out who's responsible for this. 61 00:04:57,783 --> 00:05:01,745 - I told you, the guy with the-- - We are taking the total responsibility. 62 00:05:01,828 --> 00:05:03,997 Oh, you don't have to do that. It's not your fault. 63 00:05:04,122 --> 00:05:05,582 Did you get a license number? 64 00:05:05,665 --> 00:05:07,417 - No, the guy peeled out of here - Oh! 65 00:05:07,542 --> 00:05:08,835 Look, Miss Wilcox, 66 00:05:08,919 --> 00:05:12,631 it was a 1969 Camaro Street Rod, electric blue. 67 00:05:12,798 --> 00:05:14,466 Now, how many of those are there on the island? 68 00:05:14,549 --> 00:05:16,510 No, wait. I think the car was green. 69 00:05:16,676 --> 00:05:17,844 Yes, I'm sure of it. 70 00:05:18,053 --> 00:05:20,055 Teal would be more precise, Madge. 71 00:05:20,263 --> 00:05:21,640 No, it was blue. 72 00:05:21,723 --> 00:05:23,433 That-that loud glow-in-the-dark paint. 73 00:05:23,517 --> 00:05:26,520 I think it just looked blue in the sunlight. 74 00:05:26,853 --> 00:05:28,647 Teal has a funny way of-- 75 00:05:28,897 --> 00:05:30,148 Name? 76 00:05:30,315 --> 00:05:31,775 What are you doing? 77 00:05:31,942 --> 00:05:34,986 I have to fill out a report for Day-N-Dark. It's procedure. 78 00:05:35,195 --> 00:05:36,238 Procedure? 79 00:05:36,321 --> 00:05:38,323 Miss Wilcox, we're getting drenched out here. 80 00:05:38,573 --> 00:05:40,450 - LaSalle. - What? 81 00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:43,578 LaSalle. Our name. 82 00:05:43,787 --> 00:05:46,665 - Capital L-A- - I know how to spell it. 83 00:05:46,873 --> 00:05:49,584 Miss Wilcox, you take care of the really important stuff. 84 00:05:49,668 --> 00:05:52,504 I'm gonna call the water department and get that thing shut off, 85 00:05:52,587 --> 00:05:55,382 then I'm gonna call the police before the guy in the Camaro-- 86 00:05:55,465 --> 00:05:59,219 Are you sure it was a Camaro? All these cars look so much alike. 87 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,847 - I'm sure. - Of course, you're sure. 88 00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:04,891 But it doesn't really matter because we're taking total responsibility 89 00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:06,309 for all of the damages. 90 00:06:06,393 --> 00:06:08,270 Good. Name of insurance company? 91 00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:12,858 Do you think you could call us a taxi? I think the engine's flooded. 92 00:06:18,196 --> 00:06:20,240 Look, don't you worry about a thing. 93 00:06:20,365 --> 00:06:23,827 I'm going to personally see to it that we find that guy with the Street Rod. 94 00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:25,203 Oh, no, no. 95 00:06:25,287 --> 00:06:27,497 Now, we've decided that we're not really sure 96 00:06:27,622 --> 00:06:29,541 about the make of the car, 97 00:06:29,624 --> 00:06:33,420 and, besides, we don't want to get involved with anything awkward. 98 00:06:33,545 --> 00:06:34,963 But it wasn't your fault 99 00:06:35,130 --> 00:06:37,382 and you don't have to get involved. I'll be discreet. 100 00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:39,259 See, I'm a private investigator. 101 00:06:39,843 --> 00:06:41,720 - Bless your heart. - What? 102 00:06:41,845 --> 00:06:43,763 Don't give up your dreams. 103 00:06:43,847 --> 00:06:47,559 Madge wanted to be a ballerina, I wanted to be a pilot. 104 00:06:47,642 --> 00:06:51,605 You want to be a private investigator, be a private investigator. 105 00:06:51,688 --> 00:06:55,191 No, no, no. Listen, 19 of those Day-N-Dark stores 106 00:06:55,317 --> 00:06:56,902 have been robbed in the last three months. 107 00:06:56,985 --> 00:06:58,987 No M.O., no clues, no nothing. 108 00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:01,281 They just turn around, and the money is gone. 109 00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:03,366 So I'm there to investigate. 110 00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:05,702 That's what investigators do, you understand? 111 00:07:05,785 --> 00:07:06,912 Of course. 112 00:07:07,704 --> 00:07:10,373 Only don't let it interfere with your job. 113 00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:17,589 Well... 114 00:07:20,533 --> 00:07:23,470 This is it. It's quite a mess. 115 00:07:23,595 --> 00:07:27,349 But, then, old troupers are used to roughing it. 116 00:07:27,474 --> 00:07:28,475 Troupers? 117 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:32,395 Nearly all of us here were in the business. Entertainers. 118 00:07:32,604 --> 00:07:34,940 Jeanie and I were actresses for a while. 119 00:07:35,023 --> 00:07:36,733 Can't you come in for a minute? 120 00:07:36,858 --> 00:07:39,486 - Oh, no, I've got to get back. - Oh, just for five minutes? 121 00:07:39,611 --> 00:07:40,862 For milk and cookies? 122 00:07:40,946 --> 00:07:43,907 We'd love to give you something for bringing us home. 123 00:07:44,032 --> 00:07:45,951 Well, five minutes. 124 00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:58,254 Hello, everybody. 125 00:07:58,338 --> 00:08:00,465 Jeanie, did you get him? 126 00:08:00,757 --> 00:08:02,050 Yes. 127 00:08:02,342 --> 00:08:06,179 Johnny, at least you could comment on our news. 128 00:08:06,262 --> 00:08:09,432 - We wrecked the car. - Okay. Okay. 129 00:08:11,184 --> 00:08:14,062 Oh, Herman, here's your music. 130 00:08:21,319 --> 00:08:24,906 I got Larry Parrish. That's the whole team. 131 00:08:26,449 --> 00:08:28,785 - Texas Ranger fan? - Parrish. 132 00:08:28,910 --> 00:08:31,287 I've been trying to get this card for months. 133 00:08:31,371 --> 00:08:34,332 It's too bad we didn't meet sooner. I've got two Parrishes. 134 00:08:34,457 --> 00:08:35,875 You got any Tigers up for trade? 135 00:08:36,084 --> 00:08:38,628 Are you kidding? Who collects Detroit? 136 00:08:38,795 --> 00:08:40,505 Wait a minute. I collect Detroit. 137 00:08:40,714 --> 00:08:42,590 Then you got a problem. 138 00:08:45,135 --> 00:08:47,721 All right. I'll save you my Detroit stuff. 139 00:08:47,804 --> 00:08:49,305 Thanks. 140 00:08:49,556 --> 00:08:52,392 How can they get the nerve to call this "The Game of the Week"? 141 00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:54,394 Seattle versus Minnesota. 142 00:08:54,477 --> 00:08:57,188 Dull, but never mind. 143 00:08:57,272 --> 00:08:59,357 My kid's sending me the money to get cable. 144 00:08:59,733 --> 00:09:02,861 Oh, Johnny, it came. 145 00:09:03,820 --> 00:09:06,948 - The money from your son. - Really? 146 00:09:07,157 --> 00:09:09,284 I don't suppose he sent you your rent? 147 00:09:15,748 --> 00:09:17,625 Anybody got your rent? 148 00:09:17,792 --> 00:09:19,502 Rent money? 149 00:09:20,545 --> 00:09:23,381 Just one of you. It'll make my day. 150 00:09:28,261 --> 00:09:31,097 Oh, no. Mr. Cole, please. 151 00:09:33,058 --> 00:09:35,101 This is right on half a month, Johnny. 152 00:09:35,310 --> 00:09:36,728 You're still a month and a half behind 153 00:09:36,811 --> 00:09:38,396 and he's the closest to being paid up. 154 00:09:38,605 --> 00:09:41,232 - I guess you're the landlord? - No, I'm not the landlord. 155 00:09:41,441 --> 00:09:43,526 I'm Harvey Cole, the agent for the owners. 156 00:09:43,735 --> 00:09:46,279 Who are trying to sell this place right out from under us. 157 00:09:46,404 --> 00:09:48,031 They're not even gonna carry you that long. 158 00:09:48,281 --> 00:09:51,367 The owners have decided that they would rather have the place empty 159 00:09:51,451 --> 00:09:54,496 than to pay the electric bill for a bunch of deadbeats. 160 00:09:54,746 --> 00:09:57,248 You all have till after the Labor Day weekend 161 00:09:57,373 --> 00:10:00,627 to get paid up or hit the street. 162 00:10:00,835 --> 00:10:03,546 Mr. Cole, no. That's only three days. 163 00:10:03,797 --> 00:10:05,298 Three and a half, 164 00:10:05,381 --> 00:10:08,218 and between you all, you owe $1,800. 165 00:10:08,551 --> 00:10:09,928 $1,750. 166 00:10:10,011 --> 00:10:12,722 Come on, Harvey, that's his cable money. 167 00:10:12,931 --> 00:10:14,599 They don't hook up cable to a park bench, 168 00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:16,226 which is where he's gonna be on Tuesday. 169 00:10:16,434 --> 00:10:19,521 I'll save you the trouble of telling the rest of the sponges. 170 00:10:28,363 --> 00:10:29,823 What a dump! 171 00:10:30,073 --> 00:10:31,950 No wonder, they can't sell it. 172 00:10:37,396 --> 00:10:38,623 I hear that. 173 00:10:42,877 --> 00:10:44,003 Jeanie, 174 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,924 do any of you have the back rent money? 175 00:10:48,133 --> 00:10:51,928 - Tommy, you're being indelicate. - No. I'm being realistic. 176 00:10:52,011 --> 00:10:54,055 How do you expect to pay, for the damages you did 177 00:10:54,139 --> 00:10:55,682 when you're having trouble meeting the rent? 178 00:10:56,015 --> 00:10:59,227 Tommy, we have auto insurance. 179 00:10:59,352 --> 00:11:01,855 We do not have rent insurance. 180 00:11:02,105 --> 00:11:03,565 Now, really, this is none of your affair 181 00:11:03,648 --> 00:11:05,233 so why don't you go back to the store 182 00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:07,777 before somebody misses you. Now, come on. 183 00:11:07,861 --> 00:11:09,696 Go on, Tommy, go. 184 00:11:11,531 --> 00:11:14,409 I felt as if I'd just been to my family reunion. 185 00:11:14,492 --> 00:11:17,328 I knew everybody in that hotel room by a different name. 186 00:11:17,453 --> 00:11:19,914 Even Harvey, reminded me of my Uncle Richie, 187 00:11:20,039 --> 00:11:23,168 kind of the black sheep of our family who made his living playing cards. 188 00:11:23,251 --> 00:11:26,880 Anyway, even though Madge and Jeanie had an unerring knack 189 00:11:26,963 --> 00:11:29,924 for making me feel like a 10-year-old, I wanted to help them out. 190 00:11:30,008 --> 00:11:32,427 I mean, everybody should do their bit in a family crisis. 191 00:11:32,510 --> 00:11:35,597 So, I spent the rest of the day driving by garages 192 00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:38,183 that serviced high-performance Street Rods. 193 00:11:40,476 --> 00:11:42,687 I know what you're thinking, and you're right. 194 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:45,815 My chances of running across that car were next to impossible, 195 00:11:45,940 --> 00:11:48,109 but my Uncle Richie always told me 196 00:11:48,234 --> 00:11:50,528 "Expect to get lucky and you will." 197 00:11:58,703 --> 00:11:59,954 Hey, man, 198 00:12:01,998 --> 00:12:02,957 don't mess with my car. 199 00:12:03,166 --> 00:12:06,127 Your car? Were you at the Day-N-Dark on Kuhio? 200 00:12:45,568 --> 00:12:49,505 Tommy, it's quite theatrical, but not very logical. 201 00:12:49,587 --> 00:12:50,755 Jeanie... 202 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,633 I don't think the man in the teal car meant to harm you in any way. 203 00:12:53,716 --> 00:12:55,260 Jeanie, please... 204 00:12:56,386 --> 00:12:59,180 would you mind not calling me Tommy? 205 00:12:59,472 --> 00:13:02,600 Tommy is a little boy with an all-day sucker. 206 00:13:02,809 --> 00:13:07,146 Tommy, please. Please, dear, come and sit down. 207 00:13:12,652 --> 00:13:15,613 Your career goals are important to you. 208 00:13:15,697 --> 00:13:17,407 You know, your detective thing. 209 00:13:17,657 --> 00:13:19,534 So, it's quite understandable 210 00:13:19,617 --> 00:13:22,287 that you wish to turn a harmless prank 211 00:13:22,370 --> 00:13:24,122 into a television drama. 212 00:13:24,205 --> 00:13:25,623 It wasn't a prank. 213 00:13:25,790 --> 00:13:27,458 The guy who caused your accident just-- 214 00:13:27,542 --> 00:13:30,670 Gave you a bad paint job. Yes, you've said that. 215 00:13:30,753 --> 00:13:34,173 So, did you ask the owner of the garage 216 00:13:34,257 --> 00:13:36,050 if he knew the man in the teal car? 217 00:13:36,134 --> 00:13:39,012 Blue. It was blue and there was no one else there. 218 00:13:39,220 --> 00:13:41,264 Then you should have waited for someone to come back. 219 00:13:41,347 --> 00:13:42,557 Why come here? 220 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,351 Because I thought you might be interested. 221 00:13:45,435 --> 00:13:49,355 Fine, fine, never mind. It doesn't matter. 222 00:13:49,564 --> 00:13:52,233 Because I have the license number 223 00:13:52,317 --> 00:13:54,569 of the Street Rod and I'll just... 224 00:13:55,570 --> 00:13:57,071 Wait a minute. 225 00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:00,992 It was "M." M-E... 226 00:14:01,617 --> 00:14:02,952 M-E-A... 227 00:14:06,372 --> 00:14:07,582 Herman! 228 00:14:12,295 --> 00:14:15,882 The carpenter will be here at 10:00 on Monday to fix the stair railing. 229 00:14:16,007 --> 00:14:19,260 Don't want anyone to hurt yourself when you're moving your stuff out. 230 00:14:20,178 --> 00:14:23,014 I'm deadly serious, people. Tuesday. 231 00:14:24,974 --> 00:14:27,727 This receipt for the $50 I got yesterday, Wells. 232 00:14:28,186 --> 00:14:32,023 I was wrong. You're still two months behind. 233 00:14:39,197 --> 00:14:43,159 Wells? No wonder, he's a Texas Ranger fan. 234 00:14:45,495 --> 00:14:49,540 Johnnie, you know, the Rangers are okay, but... 235 00:14:50,083 --> 00:14:51,959 I lived in Virginia 236 00:14:52,043 --> 00:14:55,213 and I don't think I ever got over the Senators leaving Washington. 237 00:14:55,421 --> 00:14:56,631 Oh, come on. 238 00:14:56,756 --> 00:14:59,509 The wisest thing they ever did was moving the franchise to Texas. 239 00:14:59,717 --> 00:15:01,302 The Senators were never great. 240 00:15:01,427 --> 00:15:05,264 No. No, but they had some pretty good ball players over the years. 241 00:15:05,348 --> 00:15:10,228 Walter Johnson, Frank Howard, Mickey Vernon and a second baseman 242 00:15:10,311 --> 00:15:12,146 named Johnnie Wells. 243 00:15:13,731 --> 00:15:15,691 I saw you play. 244 00:15:16,359 --> 00:15:19,153 It was June 10, 1952. 245 00:15:19,237 --> 00:15:21,030 It was the second major league game I ever saw. 246 00:15:21,239 --> 00:15:23,157 - Did I have a good day? - "O" for four. 247 00:15:23,282 --> 00:15:25,952 But you got on twice. It was an error and a walk 248 00:15:26,077 --> 00:15:28,329 and you-you pulled off a couple of miraculous steals. 249 00:15:28,454 --> 00:15:31,082 That was the year you led the league with 46. You hit 381. 250 00:15:31,290 --> 00:15:34,836 No, no, no. 281. I never hit over 300. 251 00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:37,255 Johnnie, I got your card. It's on the back. 252 00:15:37,463 --> 00:15:39,382 - You got that card? - Yeah. 253 00:15:39,507 --> 00:15:41,926 That's the one. The misprint. 254 00:15:42,135 --> 00:15:43,886 It says 381 instead of 2. 255 00:15:44,053 --> 00:15:47,807 Oh, man, are you lucky. That little jewel's worth over $50. 256 00:15:47,932 --> 00:15:49,517 I sold mine last year. 257 00:15:51,686 --> 00:15:53,438 You sold your own card? 258 00:15:53,646 --> 00:15:54,814 Yeah. 259 00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:59,735 For $50 worth of spending money, huh, I should be sentimental? 260 00:16:00,528 --> 00:16:03,364 Diabetes. Every little bit helps. 261 00:16:05,783 --> 00:16:07,910 Whee! Another home run. 262 00:16:10,121 --> 00:16:11,581 Girls... 263 00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:14,459 how long has this place been on the market? 264 00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:15,751 Almost a year. 265 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:20,006 Which means it's not exactly the hottest listing in town, am I right? 266 00:16:20,089 --> 00:16:21,424 So... 267 00:16:21,883 --> 00:16:24,427 have you ever thought about trying to buy the place? 268 00:16:25,428 --> 00:16:29,265 Tommy, what a nice suggestion. Why don't you go back to work? 269 00:16:29,348 --> 00:16:30,892 No, no, just listen to me. 270 00:16:30,975 --> 00:16:35,521 You have to come up with $1,800 by Tuesday, regardless, right? 271 00:16:35,605 --> 00:16:38,191 So, instead of using the money for the rent, 272 00:16:38,274 --> 00:16:40,902 you just walk in, make a viable bid 273 00:16:40,985 --> 00:16:42,945 with earnest money, and the owners are bound to jump at it. 274 00:16:43,154 --> 00:16:45,114 With business logic like that, 275 00:16:45,198 --> 00:16:47,200 you'll never be president of Day-N-Dark. 276 00:16:47,825 --> 00:16:49,160 It could work. 277 00:16:49,410 --> 00:16:52,747 We're all on rigid fixed incomes here. 278 00:16:52,997 --> 00:16:55,750 And we're not fund raisers. 279 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,419 Would you like to meet a guy who is? 280 00:16:59,879 --> 00:17:02,798 LaSalle, that name seems so familiar to me. 281 00:17:02,965 --> 00:17:07,303 Of course we do carry the name of a famous French explorer 282 00:17:07,386 --> 00:17:10,181 and of a very fine car. 283 00:17:10,306 --> 00:17:13,100 Both dead for some years now. 284 00:17:13,309 --> 00:17:16,479 Yes, of course. Well... 285 00:17:16,729 --> 00:17:19,732 But, we've never met? 286 00:17:19,815 --> 00:17:23,736 Oh, I'm sorry, no. I feel confident we would remember. 287 00:17:23,861 --> 00:17:25,154 Yes, of course. 288 00:17:25,279 --> 00:17:29,367 Ladies, let me just say that I am most sympathetic to your plight. 289 00:17:29,575 --> 00:17:32,161 However, Magnum's suggestion that we hold a Bingo Bazaar 290 00:17:32,245 --> 00:17:33,955 on the Robin Masters' estate 291 00:17:34,163 --> 00:17:36,666 is out of the question, I'm afraid. 292 00:17:36,749 --> 00:17:38,376 Of course, Mr. Higgins. 293 00:17:38,584 --> 00:17:43,005 We tried to talk him out of it, but Tommy does get so excited. 294 00:17:43,214 --> 00:17:44,882 Yes, I'm well aware of that. 295 00:17:46,759 --> 00:17:49,053 Now if we could stage an event with a proper decorum, 296 00:17:49,262 --> 00:17:51,055 perhaps a bridge tournament at the Yacht Club-- 297 00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:53,808 One! One. 298 00:17:54,183 --> 00:17:57,311 M-E-A-1. Two more to go. 299 00:17:57,436 --> 00:18:01,107 Oh, dear, are we back to the man in the hot rod again? 300 00:18:01,274 --> 00:18:04,777 Tommy, wouldn't you like to go outside and play? 301 00:18:08,447 --> 00:18:11,951 What a beautiful volume. Poetry? 302 00:18:12,493 --> 00:18:15,621 No, it's nothing really. Just a little diary I keep. 303 00:18:15,913 --> 00:18:17,873 Wonderful penmanship. 304 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,962 The Crisis in the Suez by Jonathan Quayle Higgins. 305 00:18:23,087 --> 00:18:25,298 - Just a little diary? - Well... 306 00:18:25,381 --> 00:18:29,885 Yes, I do like to jot down my past remembrances from time to time. 307 00:18:30,136 --> 00:18:33,514 My husband was in the Suez during the trouble there. 308 00:18:33,723 --> 00:18:35,266 Good heavens, what was his name? 309 00:18:35,349 --> 00:18:36,934 Gordon Archer. 310 00:18:37,018 --> 00:18:38,436 My God. 311 00:18:38,644 --> 00:18:40,354 He had that effect on many people. 312 00:18:41,689 --> 00:18:43,733 I only knew your husband by reputation. 313 00:18:43,899 --> 00:18:46,819 But Gordon Archer was legendary in his own time. 314 00:18:46,944 --> 00:18:49,030 I was very proud of him. 315 00:18:49,238 --> 00:18:53,200 And we had such wonderful times together. 316 00:18:53,326 --> 00:18:56,579 I remember one particularly exciting experience 317 00:18:56,662 --> 00:19:00,916 crossing the Zambezi, just north of the Mozambique Channel. 318 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,753 Archer was risking everything to take me to safety. 319 00:19:03,836 --> 00:19:05,087 Madge... 320 00:19:05,254 --> 00:19:07,798 Magnum, how incredibly rude, even for you. 321 00:19:08,424 --> 00:19:10,509 I'm sorry, Madge, but it's Saturday. 322 00:19:10,718 --> 00:19:12,845 We have to raise the money by Tuesday. 323 00:19:13,054 --> 00:19:15,598 Madge tells stories like you tell stories, Higgins. 324 00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:18,517 One story apiece and we're non-stop into Wednesday afternoon. 325 00:19:18,643 --> 00:19:21,312 It is impossible to arrange a bridge tournament by Tuesday. 326 00:19:21,437 --> 00:19:23,898 So, invite the same philanthropic people 327 00:19:23,981 --> 00:19:27,485 who play "tax deductible" bridge over to play "tax deductible" bingo. 328 00:19:27,693 --> 00:19:30,237 The only difference will be instead of trumping or bidding, 329 00:19:30,404 --> 00:19:33,282 you put cute little kernels of corn on a piece of paper. 330 00:19:33,366 --> 00:19:34,617 Please? 331 00:19:36,577 --> 00:19:40,331 Even though I never met Gordon Archer, we stood inches apart one evening 332 00:19:40,414 --> 00:19:42,208 as we fought for our very lives. 333 00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:44,960 Higgins! Tuesday. 334 00:19:45,169 --> 00:19:48,214 Magnum, we will have the bingo gala, Monday afternoon at 1:00. 335 00:19:49,699 --> 00:19:51,676 Now, please go and find something to do. 336 00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:15,533 Thank you. Keep that Day-N-Dark smile. 337 00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:24,750 Pickled egg, please? 338 00:20:26,585 --> 00:20:28,713 T.C., no. 339 00:20:29,130 --> 00:20:31,173 Come on, can't you come up with another joke? 340 00:20:31,257 --> 00:20:33,008 I mean, three days in a row. 341 00:20:33,134 --> 00:20:35,386 Besides, you know I hate to fish those stinky things out. 342 00:20:35,469 --> 00:20:38,139 - I hate them. - Pickled egg, please. 343 00:20:57,249 --> 00:21:00,586 What the hell are you doing? We have a store full of customers. 344 00:21:00,703 --> 00:21:02,079 Why aren't you watching them? 345 00:21:02,204 --> 00:21:04,373 Because I'm watching this, Miss Wilcox. 346 00:21:04,457 --> 00:21:06,125 Please, not now. 347 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,672 There. 348 00:21:14,550 --> 00:21:15,801 $.59. 349 00:21:17,470 --> 00:21:20,055 How stupid of me. I must've forgotten my wallet. 350 00:21:26,312 --> 00:21:27,772 T.C.! 351 00:21:30,566 --> 00:21:32,359 Come back here. 352 00:21:32,735 --> 00:21:34,111 Magnum. 353 00:21:37,865 --> 00:21:39,533 Fifty-nine cents. 354 00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:43,162 Come on, guys, cut the fifth grade comedy routine. 355 00:21:43,329 --> 00:21:45,498 Day-N-Dark was hit for the 20th time this morning. 356 00:21:45,706 --> 00:21:47,875 - Here? - No, not here. I was here. 357 00:21:47,958 --> 00:21:50,127 It was store number 27 on the Lia. 358 00:21:50,211 --> 00:21:51,462 The same as usual. 359 00:21:51,545 --> 00:21:53,631 The cash register was emptied out without a clue, 360 00:21:53,714 --> 00:21:54,965 the customers were clean. 361 00:21:55,049 --> 00:21:58,052 Well, I guess, you got to get to the other stores more often, T.M. 362 00:21:59,136 --> 00:22:02,223 That's it. Great cover. 363 00:22:02,431 --> 00:22:04,433 You can drop into any Day-N-Night 364 00:22:04,517 --> 00:22:06,977 as the official pickled egg pronger. 365 00:22:07,895 --> 00:22:11,482 That's cute, T.C. Real cute. Rick, what about Ice Pick? 366 00:22:11,690 --> 00:22:14,068 - What about him? - Well, Ronnie's speed shop? 367 00:22:14,151 --> 00:22:16,695 You promised me he'd lean on the owner, for info on his employees. 368 00:22:16,904 --> 00:22:19,073 Thomas, Ice Pick wants a fee. 369 00:22:19,365 --> 00:22:21,367 - How much? - Well, it's really nothing. 370 00:22:21,450 --> 00:22:23,244 He just wants an invite to your bingo game. 371 00:22:23,452 --> 00:22:24,411 What? 372 00:22:24,578 --> 00:22:26,622 Oh, come on, Thomas, it means a lot to Ice Pick. 373 00:22:26,705 --> 00:22:28,666 He used to be a bingo caller in the old days 374 00:22:28,749 --> 00:22:30,668 and he wants to be seen at a function like this. 375 00:22:30,730 --> 00:22:33,816 No, not Ice Pick. Rick, this is strictly a class event. 376 00:22:34,004 --> 00:22:35,673 You know, the Higgins Hot 100. 377 00:22:35,881 --> 00:22:37,383 Okay, just forget it. 378 00:22:37,591 --> 00:22:39,593 No Ice Pick invite, no info. 379 00:22:42,221 --> 00:22:43,639 Follow that car. 380 00:22:46,058 --> 00:22:47,059 Right! 381 00:22:49,144 --> 00:22:53,649 And Rick... Hey, Rick! Rick, I wanna go with you! 382 00:22:53,983 --> 00:22:56,360 You don't know why I want you to follow him! 383 00:22:56,443 --> 00:22:57,695 Rick! 384 00:23:10,666 --> 00:23:13,127 I want four quarters 385 00:23:13,252 --> 00:23:15,963 and the price of a tank full of Strawberry Dream. 386 00:23:16,046 --> 00:23:19,758 I wasn't stealing from the jar. I was just making change. 387 00:23:19,842 --> 00:23:22,136 Oh, yeah? How do you make change for four cents? 388 00:23:22,261 --> 00:23:23,679 - Magnum? - What? 389 00:23:23,762 --> 00:23:25,180 I've got the little thief. 390 00:23:27,683 --> 00:23:28,851 No, you don't. 391 00:23:30,477 --> 00:23:31,729 Pay up. 392 00:23:34,773 --> 00:23:36,901 Please, mister. Don't hit me anymore. 393 00:23:37,109 --> 00:23:38,861 I'll do anything you say, but just don't hit me. 394 00:23:38,944 --> 00:23:40,863 Hey, you hit the kid? 395 00:23:40,946 --> 00:23:42,531 No, of course not. 396 00:23:42,740 --> 00:23:45,576 Yes, he did, sir, but it wasn't his fault. 397 00:23:45,659 --> 00:23:50,331 I was stealing for my pregnant sister. She's got nothing to eat. 398 00:23:50,414 --> 00:23:51,957 Oh, come on. 399 00:23:52,207 --> 00:23:54,460 - Did you hit the kid? - No, he hit me. 400 00:23:54,793 --> 00:23:56,045 - Magnum! - What? 401 00:23:56,253 --> 00:23:58,422 - This is the sister? - No. 402 00:23:58,505 --> 00:24:00,382 Miss Wilcox, will you please explain to him 403 00:24:00,507 --> 00:24:02,092 that I did not hit this brat. What? 404 00:24:02,176 --> 00:24:03,886 We've been robbed. Where'd he go? What? 405 00:24:04,094 --> 00:24:05,679 Hey, Skeeter, got a real pervert here. 406 00:24:06,221 --> 00:24:07,890 He hits kids. 407 00:24:08,098 --> 00:24:10,267 With you standing right here solving the cookie jar crime, 408 00:24:10,392 --> 00:24:11,602 we were cleaned out. 409 00:24:11,769 --> 00:24:14,521 The cash register's empty. We've been hit. 410 00:24:14,980 --> 00:24:16,565 You hit the kid and the lady? 411 00:24:16,982 --> 00:24:19,360 Of course not. Nobody hit anybody. 412 00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:21,320 Yes, we were. Just now. 413 00:24:23,822 --> 00:24:25,699 Nobody hits a lady. 414 00:24:25,950 --> 00:24:28,661 He bothers you again, you come and see me. 415 00:24:30,329 --> 00:24:32,915 Well, I hope you're satisfied. 416 00:24:32,998 --> 00:24:34,750 You've made a mess of everything. 417 00:24:35,250 --> 00:24:36,460 Me? 418 00:24:36,585 --> 00:24:38,128 Wait a minute, will you? 419 00:24:38,212 --> 00:24:40,297 Just hold all the customers, I'll question them. 420 00:24:40,506 --> 00:24:43,801 Surprise. There's nobody in there. 421 00:24:59,958 --> 00:25:01,735 Failure's a funny thing. 422 00:25:01,860 --> 00:25:04,196 A baby learns to walk by falling down. 423 00:25:04,279 --> 00:25:06,740 A child learns to swim by almost drowning. 424 00:25:06,865 --> 00:25:10,160 And what kid hits the ball the first time he swings a bat? 425 00:25:10,327 --> 00:25:11,662 Aha! 426 00:25:12,371 --> 00:25:14,707 So, why is it that the older we get, 427 00:25:14,832 --> 00:25:17,710 the harder it is to deal with the lessons of failure? 428 00:25:17,835 --> 00:25:19,461 Right after the robbery, 429 00:25:19,545 --> 00:25:21,922 the Day-N-Dark head office advised me 430 00:25:22,006 --> 00:25:24,049 that I was fired. 431 00:25:25,175 --> 00:25:28,053 But I still had some people who were counting on me, 432 00:25:28,178 --> 00:25:31,265 including a great base stealer in a squeeze. 433 00:25:32,766 --> 00:25:35,894 It made the momentary failure easier to handle. 434 00:25:41,025 --> 00:25:42,526 Magnum, there you are. 435 00:25:42,651 --> 00:25:44,695 We've run into a bit of a snag, I'm afraid. 436 00:25:44,820 --> 00:25:47,197 Higgins, this is much more important than your Bingo Bazaar. 437 00:25:47,406 --> 00:25:48,866 There's a problem with the bingo party? 438 00:25:49,074 --> 00:25:50,534 Nothing that can't be resolved. 439 00:25:50,613 --> 00:25:52,161 - Thomas-- - Just a second. 440 00:25:52,244 --> 00:25:53,787 You are still planning on having it? 441 00:25:53,954 --> 00:25:56,540 Of course, but Agatha's having difficulty finding the corn kernels 442 00:25:56,665 --> 00:25:58,000 for the bingo tokens. 443 00:25:58,083 --> 00:26:00,919 I risk life and limb to get this license plate number for you 444 00:26:01,003 --> 00:26:03,380 - and you wanna talk corn? - You got the number? 445 00:26:03,464 --> 00:26:05,382 I lost him halfway to Pearl, but I got it. 446 00:26:05,466 --> 00:26:08,052 Agatha came up with what I consider a charming suggestion. 447 00:26:08,135 --> 00:26:10,179 - Simple little pearl buttons. - That's wrong. 448 00:26:10,304 --> 00:26:11,972 I think "wrong" is a bit of an overstatement. 449 00:26:12,056 --> 00:26:14,266 I know you were very specific in requesting corn. Maize. 450 00:26:14,349 --> 00:26:16,060 But I think the buttons would do quite nicely. 451 00:26:16,143 --> 00:26:18,562 No, no. He got the wrong number. You chased the wrong car. 452 00:26:18,687 --> 00:26:19,980 Oh, sure. It's my fault. 453 00:26:20,064 --> 00:26:22,316 Maybe the guy changed plates, or maybe he's got a matching set 454 00:26:22,399 --> 00:26:23,734 of '69 Street Rods. 455 00:26:23,817 --> 00:26:26,945 All I know is, this is the number of the car you told me to follow. 456 00:26:27,071 --> 00:26:28,864 Imitation pearl, of course. They're relatively-- 457 00:26:28,947 --> 00:26:30,699 - All right, you're right. - Splendid. 458 00:26:30,783 --> 00:26:32,201 There's gotta be an explanation. 459 00:26:32,284 --> 00:26:34,578 I don't think that's necessary. I'll call Agatha right away. 460 00:26:34,661 --> 00:26:36,580 Oh, yeah, Higgins. You take care of that. 461 00:26:36,639 --> 00:26:38,433 Listen, can you get me the registration? 462 00:26:38,540 --> 00:26:40,626 - How am I supposed to do that? - Ice Pick. 463 00:26:40,709 --> 00:26:43,253 I'm afraid he didn't get an invitation to the Bingo game. 464 00:26:43,378 --> 00:26:45,464 Higgins. Higgins. 465 00:26:46,548 --> 00:26:49,802 You really do have to invite a fellow named Ice Pick to the party. 466 00:26:50,010 --> 00:26:52,096 I'm terribly sorry, but the guest list is complete 467 00:26:52,304 --> 00:26:54,181 and I'm not familiar with the name Ice Pick. 468 00:26:54,389 --> 00:26:57,392 - A pseudonym for a shy patron? - Yeah, something like that. 469 00:26:57,601 --> 00:26:59,770 He's from an old, established Chicago family 470 00:27:00,020 --> 00:27:02,314 and he's willing to make a sizeable donation. 471 00:27:02,439 --> 00:27:04,858 Really? Which family? 472 00:27:05,067 --> 00:27:07,778 Their name is very respected. They're big in cement. 473 00:27:10,239 --> 00:27:13,200 Just have him here at 1:00 in formal attire. 474 00:27:13,283 --> 00:27:16,203 Now, if you will both excuse me, 475 00:27:16,286 --> 00:27:19,665 I have something really important to take care of. 476 00:27:27,798 --> 00:27:31,009 What sort of a man chooses the name Ice Pick? 477 00:27:37,057 --> 00:27:40,310 Isn't it terrific? It arrived late last night. 478 00:27:40,519 --> 00:27:42,229 Has to be from my kid. 479 00:27:42,354 --> 00:27:44,523 Did I tell you he still lives in Washington? 480 00:27:44,690 --> 00:27:45,983 Yeah? 481 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,069 Hey, Johnnie, 482 00:27:49,695 --> 00:27:51,947 I've got a little gift for you, too, 483 00:27:52,030 --> 00:27:54,408 I mean, it can't compare with the TV, but... 484 00:27:57,911 --> 00:27:59,830 - My '52 card. - Yeah. 485 00:27:59,955 --> 00:28:01,331 The misprint. 486 00:28:01,665 --> 00:28:03,959 No, go on, take it back. 487 00:28:04,042 --> 00:28:06,128 Don't go around giving away $50. 488 00:28:06,336 --> 00:28:09,089 No, I'm getting a million out of giving it to you. 489 00:28:09,214 --> 00:28:11,258 - Just don't sell it. - Sorry. 490 00:28:11,508 --> 00:28:14,136 This card is worth two months of cable. 491 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,222 Johnnie, I've kept that card for over 30 years. 492 00:28:17,431 --> 00:28:20,976 Yeah, I know, and you go on keeping it. 493 00:28:21,685 --> 00:28:25,898 For you, this is a prize possession. That means a lot to me. 494 00:28:26,315 --> 00:28:29,735 But all it is to Johnnie Wells is $50. 495 00:28:41,163 --> 00:28:44,208 Why, my dear, not working this afternoon? 496 00:28:44,333 --> 00:28:45,834 I was fired. 497 00:28:45,918 --> 00:28:49,671 Well, I'm sorry to say it, I'm not surprised. 498 00:28:49,922 --> 00:28:53,008 You must end your involvement with our problems. 499 00:28:53,091 --> 00:28:54,718 We're doing just fine. 500 00:28:54,801 --> 00:28:58,305 Now, call Miss Wilcox and tell her that you're sorry 501 00:28:58,388 --> 00:29:00,933 and that you really want to do better. 502 00:29:05,020 --> 00:29:07,940 Have your kicks, Herman, it doesn't get to me. 503 00:29:08,982 --> 00:29:12,694 Will you look at that? Do you believe it? 504 00:29:12,903 --> 00:29:15,072 Okay, Johnnie, it goes. No. 505 00:29:15,155 --> 00:29:18,825 Come on. Harvey, that TV is not going anywhere. 506 00:29:18,951 --> 00:29:21,161 - His son gave it to him. - So? 507 00:29:21,286 --> 00:29:24,873 I got my orders, and these guys with me got a big truck. 508 00:29:25,123 --> 00:29:27,918 We're here to get the piano that Herman's nephew bought, 509 00:29:28,126 --> 00:29:30,545 the recliner that David's ex-agent bought, 510 00:29:30,712 --> 00:29:34,675 and the brand new $500 TV set that Johnnie's son bought. 511 00:29:36,093 --> 00:29:39,179 - The owners said, "confiscate." - The owners can't confiscate. 512 00:29:39,263 --> 00:29:41,390 - It's illegal. - This'll say it's legal. 513 00:29:43,225 --> 00:29:44,643 Thought they had until Tuesday? 514 00:29:44,851 --> 00:29:46,520 Read it and weep. 515 00:29:46,645 --> 00:29:49,273 - How do I know this is real? - Call your lawyer. 516 00:29:49,356 --> 00:29:50,857 We don't have a lawyer. 517 00:29:51,066 --> 00:29:52,234 Aw. 518 00:29:52,484 --> 00:29:54,861 We can't call a lawyer, Harvey. It's Sunday. 519 00:29:55,487 --> 00:29:58,073 Start with the piano, then the TV. 520 00:29:58,156 --> 00:29:59,574 Harvey. 521 00:30:53,295 --> 00:30:54,671 Thank you. 522 00:30:55,789 --> 00:30:57,583 All right, everyone, 523 00:30:57,716 --> 00:31:00,469 get your cards and your buttons ready, 524 00:31:00,594 --> 00:31:02,346 and let's begin. 525 00:31:02,471 --> 00:31:03,930 How is it going, Higgins? 526 00:31:04,056 --> 00:31:06,183 Splendidly, considering your Mr. Ice Pick 527 00:31:06,266 --> 00:31:08,101 cancelled on us at the last moment. 528 00:31:08,185 --> 00:31:10,937 We're just fortunate Agatha was available to fill in. 529 00:31:11,021 --> 00:31:14,066 Yeah, well, he felt real bad about that. He had to fly out. 530 00:31:14,232 --> 00:31:15,525 Contract dispute. 531 00:31:16,234 --> 00:31:18,278 So, what's the take? 532 00:31:18,570 --> 00:31:19,863 The "take"? 533 00:31:20,105 --> 00:31:23,359 I think we're all wondering if we've reached the 3,000 mark. 534 00:31:23,492 --> 00:31:26,161 Well, the total at this hour is $32,000-- 535 00:31:26,286 --> 00:31:27,871 $32,000? 536 00:31:29,790 --> 00:31:31,541 - What? - Oh. 537 00:31:35,170 --> 00:31:38,131 - Thank you, Mr. Higgins. - We don't know what to say. 538 00:31:38,256 --> 00:31:41,718 Well, that's just the total without taking into account the debit factor. 539 00:31:41,843 --> 00:31:44,304 The grand prize still has to come out of the gross receipts. 540 00:31:44,388 --> 00:31:46,473 - $10,000. - $10,000! 541 00:31:48,892 --> 00:31:52,687 Higgins, why? The grand prize is for the coverall finale. 542 00:31:52,771 --> 00:31:54,773 The winner must cover every number on the card. 543 00:31:54,981 --> 00:31:56,817 That's crazy. It'll take all day. 544 00:31:56,983 --> 00:32:00,862 The numerical possibilities allow for a game of 45 minutes at the outside. 545 00:32:00,987 --> 00:32:03,240 I assume you'll both be purchasing cards? 546 00:32:03,448 --> 00:32:04,616 No, not me. 547 00:32:04,699 --> 00:32:07,119 Like I told Madge and Jeanie, I never win at these things. 548 00:32:07,327 --> 00:32:09,746 Mr. Calvin, it's for a good cause. 549 00:32:09,830 --> 00:32:11,081 It really is. 550 00:32:14,418 --> 00:32:17,712 Under the "G" as in George, 51. 551 00:32:17,838 --> 00:32:18,880 Bingo. 552 00:32:18,964 --> 00:32:22,634 Bingo! Oh, how wonderful. We have a winner. 553 00:32:24,010 --> 00:32:25,262 Congratulations. 554 00:32:25,321 --> 00:32:27,973 Thank you, Agatha, you've done a superb job. 555 00:32:34,438 --> 00:32:37,023 Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? 556 00:32:37,107 --> 00:32:40,068 It's time for the grand finale of the Bingo Gala. 557 00:32:40,277 --> 00:32:42,112 This will be the coverall novelty match 558 00:32:42,195 --> 00:32:43,697 in which the winning player 559 00:32:43,780 --> 00:32:47,159 must cover every number on the card, not just a single line 560 00:32:47,367 --> 00:32:49,244 for a grand prize of $10,000. 561 00:32:50,579 --> 00:32:53,999 Is everyone seated comfortably? Then let's begin. 562 00:33:00,380 --> 00:33:01,840 G-51. 563 00:33:01,965 --> 00:33:04,301 Under the "G," 51. 564 00:33:04,384 --> 00:33:07,637 Odd, I once had occasion to use that exact combination 565 00:33:07,721 --> 00:33:10,849 in connection with a secret code in a fleet of submarines. 566 00:33:18,857 --> 00:33:21,651 I had the misfortune of landing in the middle of a herd of goats 567 00:33:21,735 --> 00:33:24,779 during the second World War when Clive Krefting, 568 00:33:24,905 --> 00:33:27,407 the pilot was rendered unconscious, by a gunshot wound. 569 00:33:27,991 --> 00:33:31,036 Although, I had no previous training in landing such an aircraft, 570 00:33:31,244 --> 00:33:33,205 I did manage to... 571 00:33:37,459 --> 00:33:41,129 But, perhaps, this isn't the time for such recollections. 572 00:33:41,630 --> 00:33:43,632 That was B-13. 573 00:33:43,882 --> 00:33:46,384 Forty-five minutes on the outside, 574 00:33:46,468 --> 00:33:49,346 just inside of four hours. This must be a world record. 575 00:33:49,763 --> 00:33:52,182 Please watch your cards. We must have a winner. 576 00:33:52,432 --> 00:33:54,267 N-37. 577 00:33:54,684 --> 00:33:56,144 N-37. 578 00:33:56,937 --> 00:33:59,064 - N-37! - You won? 579 00:33:59,147 --> 00:34:01,525 T.C., you won. N-37. 580 00:34:03,485 --> 00:34:04,736 I won? 581 00:34:07,864 --> 00:34:09,115 "N-37." 582 00:34:11,952 --> 00:34:13,495 I won. 583 00:34:18,708 --> 00:34:20,126 I won! 584 00:34:20,210 --> 00:34:23,255 I never won anything, since I won an Ellery Queen decoder ring 585 00:34:23,338 --> 00:34:24,798 when I was seven years old! 586 00:34:24,881 --> 00:34:27,092 $10,000! 587 00:34:27,592 --> 00:34:29,636 I won! I won! 588 00:34:29,761 --> 00:34:31,513 Look, you know, I've always wondered what I would do 589 00:34:31,596 --> 00:34:33,598 if I came into a large sum of money. 590 00:34:33,682 --> 00:34:36,601 Maybe, I'll make the down payment on a house. 591 00:34:37,102 --> 00:34:41,273 A down payment on a new helicopter, or maybe expand my business. 592 00:34:41,356 --> 00:34:43,984 Travel. Rio, Mardi Gras. 593 00:34:53,326 --> 00:34:57,414 But, shoot. If I did that, I'd have to come up with... 594 00:34:58,248 --> 00:35:00,542 a whole new bunch of dreams. 595 00:35:01,918 --> 00:35:05,338 So, if it's all the same with you guys, 596 00:35:06,006 --> 00:35:09,092 I'd rather give my $10,000 prize 597 00:35:09,509 --> 00:35:12,679 to the Fountainbleu Residence Purchase Fund. 598 00:35:14,222 --> 00:35:15,348 Oh. 599 00:35:28,111 --> 00:35:31,489 $39,617. 600 00:35:35,869 --> 00:35:38,580 Those little failure clouds were starting to blow away. 601 00:35:38,663 --> 00:35:40,457 True, I'd lost a day and a half 602 00:35:40,540 --> 00:35:42,751 trying to track down Madge and Jeanie's property, 603 00:35:42,834 --> 00:35:44,878 but, finally, I'd hit pay dirt. 604 00:35:44,961 --> 00:35:47,005 The goods were on their way back to the hotel. 605 00:35:47,088 --> 00:35:48,465 And in about an hour, 606 00:35:48,548 --> 00:35:50,967 I would take Madge and Jeanie to put a down payment on the Fountainbleu. 607 00:35:52,302 --> 00:35:54,471 The only dark cloud left was the Day-N-Dark robberies. 608 00:35:54,554 --> 00:35:57,641 I knew there was a thread somewhere, something simple that I'd overlooked. 609 00:35:57,724 --> 00:35:59,392 But I couldn't think what it was. 610 00:35:59,476 --> 00:36:01,353 Yeah, Thomas, I heard from Ice Pick. 611 00:36:01,436 --> 00:36:03,146 He got the registration on the car. 612 00:36:03,229 --> 00:36:04,522 Yeah? 613 00:36:04,606 --> 00:36:06,316 Only thing is, it's kind of weird. 614 00:36:06,399 --> 00:36:08,151 It doesn't make any sense. 615 00:36:08,234 --> 00:36:09,402 What? What? 616 00:36:09,486 --> 00:36:11,863 The Camaro belongs to a guy named Billy Princeton, 617 00:36:11,946 --> 00:36:16,076 but here's the weird part, the plates on it belong to a '38 Caddy 618 00:36:16,201 --> 00:36:20,080 and it's registered to a Jeanine K. and Margaret L. LaSalle. 619 00:36:22,374 --> 00:36:25,710 ...a '38 Caddy and it's registered to a Jeanine K. 620 00:36:25,835 --> 00:36:27,629 and Margaret L. LaSalle. 621 00:36:27,712 --> 00:36:30,632 Thomas, those are the LaSalle sisters. 622 00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:37,347 Perhaps the plates were stolen from Madge and Jeanie's car. 623 00:36:38,431 --> 00:36:40,141 It doesn't make sense. 624 00:36:40,225 --> 00:36:42,143 He nearly runs two ladies over 625 00:36:42,227 --> 00:36:44,020 and then tracks them down and steals their plates? 626 00:36:44,270 --> 00:36:45,397 I see your point. 627 00:36:45,522 --> 00:36:47,732 Madge and Jeanie did not want me to trace that car. 628 00:36:47,816 --> 00:36:49,234 They know the guy. 629 00:36:49,317 --> 00:36:52,070 - Who are you calling? - The LaSalle sisters. 630 00:36:54,906 --> 00:36:56,991 - Hello? - Johnnie? It's me, Tommy. 631 00:36:57,283 --> 00:36:59,285 May I speak to Madge or Jeanie for a minute? 632 00:36:59,577 --> 00:37:01,079 Magnum, aren't they with you? 633 00:37:01,454 --> 00:37:04,290 I haven't seen them since before the bingo party yesterday. 634 00:37:04,541 --> 00:37:06,167 They didn't come back here last night. 635 00:37:06,334 --> 00:37:08,169 Herman said they were waiting to see you. 636 00:37:08,294 --> 00:37:10,004 We figured you might have asked them to stay over. 637 00:37:10,714 --> 00:37:13,049 Magnum, where are they? 638 00:37:13,383 --> 00:37:15,927 They were carrying $39,000. 639 00:37:17,762 --> 00:37:19,639 Something must have happened to them. 640 00:37:19,889 --> 00:37:21,808 - I'm calling the cops. - No. 641 00:37:21,891 --> 00:37:24,602 Just give me a couple of hours, I think I know where they might be. 642 00:37:24,728 --> 00:37:26,187 I'll call you as soon as I find them. 643 00:37:26,271 --> 00:37:27,897 Magnum, there's something you ought to see. 644 00:37:28,014 --> 00:37:29,516 - What? - My old yearbook. 645 00:37:29,649 --> 00:37:30,942 Higgins, not now. 646 00:37:31,067 --> 00:37:32,986 This is regarding the LaSalle sisters. 647 00:37:33,111 --> 00:37:36,448 I first saw them 37 years ago this July. 648 00:37:36,573 --> 00:37:37,699 And? 649 00:37:37,782 --> 00:37:39,659 Do you recall that when the sisters first came to tea, 650 00:37:39,743 --> 00:37:41,953 I had the curious sensation of having known them before? 651 00:37:42,036 --> 00:37:44,205 What's your point, Higgins? I'm in a hurry. 652 00:37:44,289 --> 00:37:46,458 The LaSalle sisters were performers. 653 00:37:46,624 --> 00:37:48,460 This is the theatre program from Blackpool, 654 00:37:48,543 --> 00:37:50,920 the summer I completed my upper second at Sandhurst. 655 00:37:51,129 --> 00:37:53,339 My father felt that some sort of family celebration 656 00:37:53,423 --> 00:37:55,383 of my accomplishment was in order, although, 657 00:37:55,508 --> 00:37:57,135 of course, I never admitted this to Father, 658 00:37:57,218 --> 00:37:59,971 Blackpool was a bit gaudy, by my standards. 659 00:38:00,180 --> 00:38:01,890 They were quick change artists. 660 00:38:02,015 --> 00:38:05,059 Well, that's hardly the description for a classic performance. 661 00:38:05,143 --> 00:38:07,825 They presented a unique multi-charactered mime. 662 00:38:08,021 --> 00:38:09,439 Just the two of them. 663 00:38:09,522 --> 00:38:11,483 Quite an extraordinary display of... 664 00:38:14,319 --> 00:38:16,738 Ollie, it isn't fair of you to ask this of us. 665 00:38:16,830 --> 00:38:18,698 And not very bright. 666 00:38:18,990 --> 00:38:21,451 The cash registers were one thing, 667 00:38:21,534 --> 00:38:25,538 but, $150,000 is a very serious crime. 668 00:38:25,747 --> 00:38:29,125 Girls, believe me, now this is fair. And you owe me. 669 00:38:29,250 --> 00:38:31,920 Why do you think I didn't turn you in after the first robbery, huh? 670 00:38:32,128 --> 00:38:34,714 All these other jobs, they were just a warm-up for this one. 671 00:38:34,798 --> 00:38:36,090 Forget it. 672 00:38:36,674 --> 00:38:37,884 Okay. 673 00:38:38,009 --> 00:38:39,469 You really wanna forget it, huh? 674 00:38:39,677 --> 00:38:42,388 That bingo money belongs to Johnnie 675 00:38:42,514 --> 00:38:46,309 and Herman and all the other people at the Fountainbleu. 676 00:38:46,559 --> 00:38:50,146 And they'll get it back just as soon as you pull this job. 677 00:38:50,870 --> 00:38:52,198 Ollie... 678 00:38:54,234 --> 00:38:56,444 there aren't going to be any guns. 679 00:38:56,820 --> 00:38:57,821 Promise me. 680 00:38:58,071 --> 00:39:00,323 I promise. No guns. 681 00:39:05,286 --> 00:39:07,580 Footnote to the dissertation on failure. 682 00:39:07,664 --> 00:39:09,249 My little voice had convinced me 683 00:39:09,332 --> 00:39:13,211 that all my failures of the last few days had been carefully planned. 684 00:39:13,336 --> 00:39:15,129 It was also saying, 685 00:39:15,213 --> 00:39:19,259 "Thomas, despite what the LaSalle sisters have led you to believe, 686 00:39:19,384 --> 00:39:23,263 you are a functioning adult, and proving it is sometimes 687 00:39:23,346 --> 00:39:24,931 very painful." 688 00:39:25,014 --> 00:39:28,017 - Please, go away. - I want to buy something. 689 00:39:32,438 --> 00:39:34,148 What time's the big pick up? 690 00:39:34,232 --> 00:39:35,859 What are you talking about? 691 00:39:36,442 --> 00:39:37,819 Miss Wilcox, 692 00:39:37,944 --> 00:39:41,281 I happen to know that Day-N-Dark is too cheap to pay armed guards 693 00:39:41,364 --> 00:39:43,491 overtime for holidays. Too cheap? 694 00:39:43,575 --> 00:39:47,328 Which means that all the money from all the stores is in one location. 695 00:39:47,579 --> 00:39:49,038 One guard. 696 00:39:49,622 --> 00:39:51,291 It's here, isn't it? 697 00:39:52,083 --> 00:39:55,003 They come for the money at 12:00, but I don't need any help. 698 00:39:55,086 --> 00:39:58,840 You have been replaced by a very competent Day-N-Dark security guard. 699 00:39:59,048 --> 00:40:00,675 - Where is he? - In the back. 700 00:40:00,758 --> 00:40:01,801 Fine. 701 00:40:01,885 --> 00:40:04,220 I'll need to see those reports that I left behind on the robberies. 702 00:40:04,470 --> 00:40:06,389 You know, the photos, police interviews, all of that. 703 00:40:06,514 --> 00:40:08,641 You did not leave the reports, Magnum. 704 00:40:08,709 --> 00:40:11,503 You were asked to return them after you were fired. 705 00:40:11,728 --> 00:40:13,438 Miss Wilcox, please. 706 00:40:13,521 --> 00:40:16,774 You have over $150,000 in your office. 707 00:40:16,858 --> 00:40:18,151 If that money is stolen, 708 00:40:18,359 --> 00:40:20,528 I don't think your bosses are gonna be too happy with you. 709 00:40:20,609 --> 00:40:22,697 So, can I please see those police reports? 710 00:40:22,780 --> 00:40:24,115 No. 711 00:40:28,411 --> 00:40:29,954 Yes, may I help you? 712 00:40:33,082 --> 00:40:34,459 $1.98. 713 00:40:34,626 --> 00:40:37,712 All right, let's see, that's $1.98 a pound. 714 00:40:38,087 --> 00:40:40,048 This is $3.49. 715 00:40:40,340 --> 00:40:42,091 $5.67. 716 00:40:47,889 --> 00:40:49,349 Thank you. 717 00:40:58,608 --> 00:41:00,610 - You stole the reports. - Here. 718 00:41:00,693 --> 00:41:02,278 It didn't seem important at the time, 719 00:41:02,362 --> 00:41:03,947 but it happened at every one of the robberies. 720 00:41:04,030 --> 00:41:06,282 "10:05, nun slipped on wet floor. 721 00:41:06,491 --> 00:41:08,451 Cash register attendant ran to her assistance. 722 00:41:08,534 --> 00:41:11,329 10:09, attendant returned to find register empty. 723 00:41:11,454 --> 00:41:13,164 2:16, elderly man fainted. 724 00:41:13,247 --> 00:41:14,749 Day-N-Dark attendant called paramedics, 725 00:41:14,895 --> 00:41:16,599 returning to find cash register empty." 726 00:41:16,682 --> 00:41:18,044 All right, proving what? 727 00:41:18,252 --> 00:41:19,629 Proving... 728 00:41:21,673 --> 00:41:25,051 Proving that none of us are infallible when it comes to judging character. 729 00:42:25,945 --> 00:42:27,655 Oh, I knocked down... 730 00:42:27,864 --> 00:42:30,199 Oh. Oh, my knee. 731 00:42:33,036 --> 00:42:34,370 Nice move, Madge. 732 00:42:34,579 --> 00:42:37,999 Although, I thought the nun's outfit was a nicer touch. 733 00:42:38,374 --> 00:42:40,877 Yeah, how's this for a nice touch, huh? 734 00:42:41,669 --> 00:42:44,130 - Ollie, you promised. No guns. - Hey, I lied. 735 00:42:47,133 --> 00:42:50,511 You dirty rat. You promised no guns. 736 00:42:50,636 --> 00:42:52,388 How dare you bring a gun in here? 737 00:42:52,472 --> 00:42:53,473 He's the one. 738 00:42:53,723 --> 00:42:55,558 You stinking raccoon! 739 00:42:55,641 --> 00:42:57,060 How dare you bring a gun in here? 740 00:42:57,185 --> 00:42:58,478 You promised. 741 00:43:12,575 --> 00:43:15,453 I still don't see why you had to call the police right away. 742 00:43:15,745 --> 00:43:18,664 A crime has been committed, or perhaps you didn't notice. 743 00:43:18,748 --> 00:43:20,083 Of course I noticed. 744 00:43:20,249 --> 00:43:21,542 Well, if you don't mind, 745 00:43:21,626 --> 00:43:24,504 I would like to finish my report before they get here. 746 00:43:24,587 --> 00:43:26,130 Ollie was the guard 747 00:43:26,339 --> 00:43:30,384 at the very first Day-N-Dark we tried to rob. 748 00:43:30,510 --> 00:43:33,638 Jeanie was a high school boy getting a soft drink. 749 00:43:33,763 --> 00:43:36,516 I was a housewife waiting to check out. 750 00:43:39,435 --> 00:43:43,648 Ollie was outside waiting for us by our car. 751 00:43:43,981 --> 00:43:48,528 He said, "High school boys don't wear cameo rings." 752 00:43:49,362 --> 00:43:52,156 It always worked best when I played the men. 753 00:43:54,575 --> 00:43:59,038 After that first time, Oliver actually hit the registers. 754 00:43:59,330 --> 00:44:01,791 Yes, but that doesn't change the fact that you took the money. 755 00:44:01,874 --> 00:44:03,209 They'll give it back. 756 00:44:03,626 --> 00:44:06,295 Well, I'm not so sure about that. 757 00:44:06,379 --> 00:44:10,258 It's all gone. Little expenses, damage to the car. 758 00:44:10,383 --> 00:44:12,635 The color TV, and Herman's piano, 759 00:44:12,885 --> 00:44:15,138 and the cable money, and the stereo for Millie. 760 00:44:15,847 --> 00:44:18,307 You guys bought those things and told the people at the hotel 761 00:44:18,391 --> 00:44:20,351 it was from their relatives, right? 762 00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:24,814 You forgot David's recliner and Margaret's gall bladder, 763 00:44:24,981 --> 00:44:28,109 Duke's heart pacer, and Ralph's cordless telephone. 764 00:44:28,234 --> 00:44:31,279 Oh, we made sure everybody got something. 765 00:44:31,612 --> 00:44:33,406 I can understand the operations. 766 00:44:33,531 --> 00:44:36,159 But why didn't you pay your rent, instead of buying toys? 767 00:44:36,265 --> 00:44:37,300 Toys? 768 00:44:37,410 --> 00:44:40,997 But they're just as important as operations, the rent. 769 00:44:41,622 --> 00:44:45,418 Sometimes health and having a place to live aren't important 770 00:44:45,543 --> 00:44:47,670 unless you have a reason to live. 771 00:44:47,879 --> 00:44:49,589 Take Johnnie Wells. 772 00:44:49,714 --> 00:44:53,801 How long do you think he'd survive without his love for baseball? 773 00:44:54,135 --> 00:44:57,430 A television set is just as important to his life 774 00:44:57,555 --> 00:45:00,725 as a new heart pacer is to Duke's. 775 00:45:01,017 --> 00:45:02,685 And Herman, 776 00:45:02,810 --> 00:45:06,981 take away his piano, and he'll turn into a vegetable. 777 00:45:07,690 --> 00:45:10,985 No way to communicate, 778 00:45:11,736 --> 00:45:13,321 nothing to live for. 779 00:45:15,907 --> 00:45:17,992 We're here for the suspects. 780 00:45:19,994 --> 00:45:23,080 Ladies, no matter how noble your motive, 781 00:45:24,498 --> 00:45:26,292 it was still stealing. 782 00:45:26,417 --> 00:45:30,004 Miss Wilcox. Heather, please, 783 00:45:30,838 --> 00:45:33,132 we've got the bingo money from Oliver. 784 00:45:33,257 --> 00:45:34,592 They've got $40,000. 785 00:45:34,717 --> 00:45:38,012 They can pay back every cent they've stolen and Oliver's share, 786 00:45:38,095 --> 00:45:41,307 and besides, they did assist in stopping the big heist. 787 00:45:41,557 --> 00:45:43,392 No, dear, she's right. 788 00:45:43,517 --> 00:45:46,354 We committed a crime and we must pay. 789 00:45:48,856 --> 00:45:51,150 I just wondered, if we could 790 00:45:51,234 --> 00:45:55,196 just change our clothes before they take us away. 791 00:46:01,702 --> 00:46:03,162 Oh, 792 00:46:03,371 --> 00:46:06,249 when the store gets back its money, 793 00:46:06,582 --> 00:46:08,542 would you take the rest to Johnnie? 794 00:46:08,626 --> 00:46:11,212 They can still make a down payment on the hotel. 795 00:46:11,504 --> 00:46:12,922 You can give it to him yourselves. 796 00:46:13,089 --> 00:46:16,008 Oh, I'm not so sure, Thomas. 797 00:46:16,259 --> 00:46:19,679 We're going to be away for a long, long time. 798 00:46:19,929 --> 00:46:21,639 That's ridiculous, you're... 799 00:46:23,432 --> 00:46:25,434 You called me Thomas. 800 00:46:25,685 --> 00:46:27,061 Naturally. 801 00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:30,231 Tommy's a little boy with an all-day sucker. 802 00:46:30,606 --> 00:46:32,066 Thomas... 803 00:46:32,525 --> 00:46:35,695 is much more fitting for a private investigator. 804 00:46:37,947 --> 00:46:39,657 We'll be right back. 805 00:47:18,321 --> 00:47:21,282 Oh, well, I hope you're happy. They got away. 806 00:47:21,532 --> 00:47:24,410 Do you realize how many forms I'm going to have to fill out for this? 807 00:47:24,618 --> 00:47:25,828 Why is it my fault? 808 00:47:25,911 --> 00:47:27,872 You're the one who said they could change their clothes. 809 00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:32,001 Oh, sure, try to shift the responsibility. How like you. 810 00:47:32,376 --> 00:47:33,586 Me? 811 00:47:33,836 --> 00:47:37,465 Me? You don't even know me.