1 00:00:03,329 --> 00:00:06,127 We're trapped on an island that's used for gunnery practice. 2 00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:07,299 We're all gonna die. 3 00:00:07,374 --> 00:00:09,740 Who's gonna order gunnery exercises on Christmas Eve? 4 00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:12,301 I am. By the time we're through, I don't want to see an ant... 5 00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:13,471 left alive in that place. 6 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:16,448 There are no pirates or cannibals on this island. 7 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,041 There is nothing on this island. 8 00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:20,417 Hurry up! Throw me a vine! I'm going down quick! 9 00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:23,184 My last will and testament. 10 00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:25,316 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪ 11 00:00:25,392 --> 00:00:27,223 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪ 12 00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:28,984 We're gonna die. 13 00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:30,325 Oh, my God. 14 00:01:35,241 --> 00:01:36,789 One of the things about Paradise... 15 00:01:36,866 --> 00:01:38,231 that takes some getting used to... 16 00:01:38,301 --> 00:01:40,861 is the change of seasons. There aren't any. 17 00:01:40,937 --> 00:01:43,405 I mean, there are rainy seasons and dryer times... 18 00:01:43,473 --> 00:01:46,772 but no real winter, summer, spring and fall. 19 00:01:46,843 --> 00:01:50,973 It's just one more beautiful sunset blending into another gorgeous sunrise... 20 00:01:51,047 --> 00:01:54,175 into another exquisite sunset. And so on. 21 00:01:54,250 --> 00:01:57,686 So, sometimes the only way you know it's the Christmas season... 22 00:01:57,754 --> 00:02:01,485 is by looking at the calendar or by going into the department stores... 23 00:02:01,558 --> 00:02:04,755 or by just looking at the flush of goodwill and cheer... 24 00:02:04,828 --> 00:02:06,489 on the faces of your friends. 25 00:02:06,563 --> 00:02:08,963 You don't like it, you can all just go ahead and jump. 26 00:02:09,032 --> 00:02:10,897 Well, this isn't fair. We're gonna be late... 27 00:02:10,967 --> 00:02:12,400 because you overbooked us. 28 00:02:12,469 --> 00:02:14,528 Who says? We do! 29 00:02:14,604 --> 00:02:16,128 Well, you get what you pay for. 30 00:02:16,206 --> 00:02:17,332 And none of you paid. 31 00:02:17,407 --> 00:02:19,341 Where is your holiday spirit? 32 00:02:19,409 --> 00:02:20,967 Back home in New Orleans. 33 00:02:21,044 --> 00:02:24,411 Which is where I'm gonna be as soon as Captain Calvin's Charity Chopper... 34 00:02:24,481 --> 00:02:25,948 drops all you freeloaders off. 35 00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:27,778 I am not a freeloader. 36 00:02:27,851 --> 00:02:31,082 Mr. Masters will remunerate you for your time and service. 37 00:02:31,154 --> 00:02:33,281 Yeah, one out of three ain't bad. 38 00:02:33,356 --> 00:02:35,381 Even after I drop you off on Molokai... 39 00:02:35,458 --> 00:02:37,426 I still gotta drop Orville off on Maui. 40 00:02:37,494 --> 00:02:39,724 Then I gotta take Thomas to the Big Island. 41 00:02:39,796 --> 00:02:41,730 It's just a slight detour, T.C. 42 00:02:41,798 --> 00:02:45,564 Yeah, and then bust my blades getting back to the Honolulu International... 43 00:02:45,635 --> 00:02:47,125 to catch the red-eye back home. 44 00:02:47,203 --> 00:02:49,763 Yeah, but doesn't it feel good to be doing this? 45 00:02:49,839 --> 00:02:50,863 For your friends? 46 00:02:50,940 --> 00:02:51,929 No. 47 00:02:52,008 --> 00:02:53,942 The gift of giving. And taking. 48 00:02:54,010 --> 00:02:56,843 Now, come on, T.C., you're just being silly. 49 00:02:56,913 --> 00:02:58,073 Me? 50 00:02:59,249 --> 00:03:00,614 Me, silly? 51 00:03:01,084 --> 00:03:03,211 Come on, guys, I'm doing this for a good cause. 52 00:03:03,286 --> 00:03:05,379 Ho, ho, ho, Magnum. 53 00:03:05,455 --> 00:03:08,117 Hey, come on, this is a mission of mercy. 54 00:03:08,191 --> 00:03:10,159 I'm gonna spend my entire Christmas... 55 00:03:10,226 --> 00:03:12,160 entertaining those little kids. 56 00:03:12,228 --> 00:03:14,162 And their grown-up teacher. 57 00:03:14,230 --> 00:03:15,322 Sheryl. 58 00:03:16,766 --> 00:03:19,394 Hey, what about Tiny Tim up here? 59 00:03:19,469 --> 00:03:20,902 That's not funny. 60 00:03:20,970 --> 00:03:23,803 Yeah. The First Annual Santa's Little Helper... 61 00:03:23,873 --> 00:03:26,205 Beauty Contest at Lahaina. 62 00:03:26,276 --> 00:03:27,538 I'm a judge. 63 00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:30,044 Judge not, lest you be judged. 64 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,508 What? 65 00:03:31,581 --> 00:03:34,243 He meant you're going to owe me for this one. 66 00:03:34,851 --> 00:03:37,820 Santa's Little Helpers. Bah, humbug. 67 00:03:37,887 --> 00:03:39,752 My sentiments precisely. 68 00:03:39,823 --> 00:03:43,350 The tawdry trivialization and cheap commercialization... 69 00:03:43,426 --> 00:03:45,917 of perhaps the most sacred moment in human history... 70 00:03:45,995 --> 00:03:48,589 indeed typifies the decay and decline... 71 00:03:48,665 --> 00:03:50,963 of Western Civilization as we know it. 72 00:03:51,034 --> 00:03:53,264 I thought I was just going to judge a beauty contest. 73 00:03:53,336 --> 00:03:55,304 Yeah, and what's this urgent business... 74 00:03:55,371 --> 00:03:58,135 you have for Robin Masters on Molokai, Higgins? 75 00:03:58,208 --> 00:04:01,507 The foreman of Mr. Masters' banana plantation suddenly quit. 76 00:04:01,578 --> 00:04:04,775 The workers are without their Christmas bonuses. I'm to... 77 00:04:06,683 --> 00:04:07,809 Uh-oh. 78 00:04:07,884 --> 00:04:08,873 What? 79 00:04:11,688 --> 00:04:13,679 The tail rotor? Uh-huh. 80 00:04:13,756 --> 00:04:16,054 High frequency vibes. Is that serious? 81 00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:20,459 Depends how badly you want to stay up in the air. I gotta put her down. 82 00:04:20,530 --> 00:04:21,792 Where? 83 00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:28,694 Frenchman's Island? 84 00:04:48,892 --> 00:04:51,190 T.C., does it have to be here? 85 00:04:51,261 --> 00:04:53,354 Well, either we land here or we swim. 86 00:04:53,429 --> 00:04:55,954 Extraordinary. Takes me back to the time- 87 00:04:56,032 --> 00:04:58,000 Not now, Higgins. 88 00:04:58,067 --> 00:04:59,625 Hold on. 89 00:05:24,527 --> 00:05:26,119 You guys all right back there? 90 00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,594 Actually, we're fine. 91 00:05:28,031 --> 00:05:31,194 Magnum's beard seems to be slightly askew, but other than that- 92 00:05:31,267 --> 00:05:33,633 I don't want to hear it, Higgins. 93 00:05:39,742 --> 00:05:41,607 Hey, you know what this place is? 94 00:05:41,678 --> 00:05:43,009 Of course. It's an island. 95 00:05:43,079 --> 00:05:46,412 It's a free-fire island. The Navy uses it for gunnery practice. 96 00:05:46,482 --> 00:05:49,610 Yeah, but it doesn't look like it's been shelled around here in a long time. 97 00:05:49,686 --> 00:05:53,383 Extraordinary. The last time I was under live artillery fire... 98 00:05:53,456 --> 00:05:54,582 was in the Suez. 99 00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:56,691 As you can well imagine- 100 00:05:56,759 --> 00:05:58,522 Higgins, I don't want to hear it. 101 00:05:59,562 --> 00:06:01,154 Go get me the tool box. 102 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,165 Hurry up, will you, Higgins? 103 00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:06,929 This place gives me the creeps. 104 00:06:07,003 --> 00:06:08,095 Quite. 105 00:06:09,639 --> 00:06:14,338 Although what you are feeling, would more aptly be described as the willies. 106 00:06:15,478 --> 00:06:18,743 Come on, guys. Let's back up and give T.C. some breathing space. 107 00:06:18,815 --> 00:06:21,579 I'm sure whatever the problem is, it's relatively minor. 108 00:06:21,651 --> 00:06:23,050 Just a loose nut or something. 109 00:06:23,119 --> 00:06:24,814 He'll just find it, tighten that sucker up. 110 00:06:24,887 --> 00:06:26,514 We'll be out of here. 111 00:06:35,999 --> 00:06:37,899 All right. Got it. 112 00:06:38,868 --> 00:06:43,032 Just a loose bolt in my pitch change link. The cotter pin came out. 113 00:06:43,106 --> 00:06:45,267 Good. That means we can get out of here. 114 00:06:45,608 --> 00:06:47,872 Yeah, you got it, buddy. Just go hop right in. 115 00:06:47,944 --> 00:06:49,536 Thanks, T.C. Good work. 116 00:06:49,679 --> 00:06:51,544 Thank you, T.C. I knew you can do it. 117 00:06:51,614 --> 00:06:53,912 Ho, ho! Hello, Santa's Little Helpers. 118 00:06:54,183 --> 00:06:55,741 Bye-bye, barrage. 119 00:07:04,761 --> 00:07:06,752 Watch your hand. 120 00:07:12,035 --> 00:07:13,502 Well, I guess those banana workers... 121 00:07:13,569 --> 00:07:15,196 will have their Christmas after all. 122 00:07:15,271 --> 00:07:17,330 And those orphans. Pity. 123 00:07:17,407 --> 00:07:19,875 What? Nothing. Nothing. 124 00:07:19,942 --> 00:07:22,172 I was just thinking of the fun we could have had. 125 00:07:22,245 --> 00:07:25,043 Fun? Come on, T.C. Let's hit it. 126 00:07:27,650 --> 00:07:29,584 I'm trying. 127 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:31,709 Damn. 128 00:07:31,788 --> 00:07:33,881 What's going on? I don't know. 129 00:07:33,956 --> 00:07:35,014 I do. 130 00:07:35,291 --> 00:07:37,521 This oversized eggbeater isn't starting. 131 00:07:38,194 --> 00:07:40,321 We are going to stay right here. 132 00:07:40,530 --> 00:07:42,464 This is your fault, T.C. 133 00:07:42,532 --> 00:07:44,261 My fault? Why is it my fault? 134 00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:46,733 You got it, because you overbooked us. 135 00:07:46,803 --> 00:07:48,896 Oh, guys, guys. Calm down. 136 00:07:48,971 --> 00:07:51,201 Quit arguing. Let's be rational. 137 00:07:51,274 --> 00:07:52,707 Everything's gonna be all right. 138 00:07:52,775 --> 00:07:54,970 T.C. will find the problem and fix it. 139 00:07:55,211 --> 00:07:57,736 I mean, so what if we are gonna be here a little while longer... 140 00:07:57,814 --> 00:07:59,907 maybe an hour or two. 141 00:08:00,016 --> 00:08:02,610 Who's gonna order gunnery exercises on Christmas Eve? 142 00:08:03,086 --> 00:08:04,246 I am. 143 00:08:05,288 --> 00:08:06,949 Commencing at 2400 hours. 144 00:08:07,090 --> 00:08:08,853 That's midnight Christmas Eve, sir. 145 00:08:08,925 --> 00:08:10,085 I mean, the men thought... 146 00:08:10,159 --> 00:08:11,421 The men thought? 147 00:08:11,794 --> 00:08:16,026 That is, this is a time when the men want to be with their families, sir. 148 00:08:16,099 --> 00:08:18,533 Are you aware, Ensign, of the absolute abysmal record... 149 00:08:18,601 --> 00:08:20,193 of this ship in field marksmanship? 150 00:08:20,269 --> 00:08:23,432 Yes, sir, in our last exercises we were. - Dead last. 151 00:08:23,506 --> 00:08:26,066 Yes, sir. But I'm certain we can do better next time. 152 00:08:26,142 --> 00:08:27,609 You're damn right they'll do better. 153 00:08:27,677 --> 00:08:29,645 They'll do better because every man in this unit... 154 00:08:29,712 --> 00:08:31,839 is gonna learn the meaning of the word dedication. 155 00:08:32,915 --> 00:08:34,576 I am not gonna be embarrassed... 156 00:08:34,650 --> 00:08:36,675 the next time their scores are posted. 157 00:08:37,820 --> 00:08:39,219 We understand each other? 158 00:08:39,288 --> 00:08:40,380 Yes, sir. 159 00:08:44,193 --> 00:08:45,922 What do you want me to do, sir? 160 00:08:47,663 --> 00:08:49,893 What I want you to do is to cancel all leaves. 161 00:08:49,966 --> 00:08:51,365 Select targets. 162 00:08:51,734 --> 00:08:54,168 And set sail immediately for Frenchman's Island. 163 00:08:54,937 --> 00:08:57,064 And when we get there, destroy it. 164 00:08:57,540 --> 00:08:59,974 By the time we're through, I don't want to see an ant... 165 00:09:00,042 --> 00:09:01,509 left alive in that place. 166 00:09:01,577 --> 00:09:02,976 Aye, aye, sir. 167 00:09:11,971 --> 00:09:14,030 How long? I don't know. 168 00:09:14,106 --> 00:09:15,596 Oh, that's great. Just great. 169 00:09:15,674 --> 00:09:17,539 Now I'm gonna miss the beauty pageant. 170 00:09:17,610 --> 00:09:18,838 Possibly. 171 00:09:18,911 --> 00:09:20,674 But think of the glorious adventure... 172 00:09:20,746 --> 00:09:22,338 we can have here on this isle. 173 00:09:22,414 --> 00:09:25,315 I don't like adventures. What's wrong with this thing? 174 00:09:25,384 --> 00:09:26,510 I don't know. 175 00:09:26,585 --> 00:09:29,053 It could be the exciter. It could be the points. 176 00:09:29,121 --> 00:09:31,885 Hey, why don't you just bang on it, with a ball peen hammer... 177 00:09:31,957 --> 00:09:35,222 like you did that time in Bin Loc? It started right up. 178 00:09:35,294 --> 00:09:37,262 Because it might not be the exciter. 179 00:09:37,329 --> 00:09:39,058 We've only got one shot with that thing. 180 00:09:39,131 --> 00:09:41,361 We make a mistake, we melt the whole engine down. 181 00:09:41,433 --> 00:09:42,457 Melt the engine? 182 00:09:42,535 --> 00:09:45,732 Yeah, then it could be the voltage regulator, it could be the battery... 183 00:09:45,804 --> 00:09:47,965 it could be the ignition, it could be the starter button. 184 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,031 I don't know. I gotta check everything. This could take- 185 00:09:50,109 --> 00:09:53,044 Days. What a marvelous challenge. 186 00:09:53,112 --> 00:09:56,138 Just the four of us against the elements. Survival of the fittest. 187 00:09:56,215 --> 00:09:58,012 What are you talking about? What elements? 188 00:09:58,083 --> 00:10:00,677 Man against nature. Civilization versus- 189 00:10:00,753 --> 00:10:03,017 Higgins, this is not a boy scout overnight. 190 00:10:03,088 --> 00:10:05,522 We're trapped on an island that's used for gunnery practice. 191 00:10:05,591 --> 00:10:06,683 We're all gonna die here. 192 00:10:06,759 --> 00:10:08,624 Oh, Rick, take it easy. Nobody's gonna die. 193 00:10:08,694 --> 00:10:11,720 Come here, give me a hand with this, will you? Come on. 194 00:10:11,797 --> 00:10:13,424 I mean, no one is going to authorize... 195 00:10:13,499 --> 00:10:15,490 gunnery exercises on Christmas Eve. 196 00:10:15,568 --> 00:10:17,263 It's real simple. I'll just get on the radio... 197 00:10:17,336 --> 00:10:18,860 call the Coast Guard. 198 00:10:18,938 --> 00:10:20,838 And they'll pick us up. 199 00:10:20,940 --> 00:10:22,339 Magnum, for once in your life... 200 00:10:22,408 --> 00:10:24,342 you are being mundanely practical. 201 00:10:24,643 --> 00:10:26,372 How utterly unlike you. 202 00:10:27,112 --> 00:10:29,979 However, it could take hours before they get here. 203 00:10:30,049 --> 00:10:32,711 We could utilize the time to explore and forage. 204 00:10:33,385 --> 00:10:35,819 What a pity the lads aren't here to enjoy this. 205 00:10:36,221 --> 00:10:40,055 Mayday. Mayday. This is 905 Alpha. Mayday. Mayday. 206 00:10:44,863 --> 00:10:46,262 What is that? 207 00:10:56,442 --> 00:10:58,876 What is that? Ukulele Lady. 208 00:10:58,944 --> 00:11:02,812 Written in 1925 by Gus Kahn, Richard Whiting and Irving Berlin. 209 00:11:03,315 --> 00:11:06,011 The gentleman who is singing it is obviously intoxicated. 210 00:11:06,085 --> 00:11:07,780 Not only has he transposed the verses... 211 00:11:07,853 --> 00:11:10,583 but he has discovered a key heretofore unknown to the human ear. 212 00:11:10,656 --> 00:11:12,248 Higgins! 213 00:11:14,259 --> 00:11:17,319 Hey, man, are you sure you got that thing on 121.5? 214 00:11:17,396 --> 00:11:19,626 There's something wrong with the frequency selector. 215 00:11:19,698 --> 00:11:21,222 Keeps drifting off the band. 216 00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:22,733 So does he. 217 00:11:23,602 --> 00:11:24,967 Mayday. Mayday. This- 218 00:11:31,777 --> 00:11:33,074 Mayday! Mayday! 219 00:11:36,882 --> 00:11:38,873 Hey, do I have to do everything? 220 00:11:38,951 --> 00:11:41,681 Fly you here, fly you there, fix the chopper. 221 00:11:41,754 --> 00:11:43,346 Talk on the microphone. 222 00:11:43,422 --> 00:11:44,411 Crash. 223 00:11:44,790 --> 00:11:47,588 Hey, I was doing you guys the favor. 224 00:11:47,660 --> 00:11:49,127 You with your beauty pageants... 225 00:11:49,194 --> 00:11:51,321 your girlfriends, and your urgent missions. 226 00:11:51,397 --> 00:11:52,762 I am the one going to see my family... 227 00:11:52,831 --> 00:11:54,560 for the first time in six years. 228 00:11:54,633 --> 00:11:57,534 Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. 229 00:12:04,677 --> 00:12:07,805 Mayday. Mayday. 905 Alpha. 230 00:12:12,885 --> 00:12:15,513 Mayday. Mayday. 905 Alpha. 231 00:12:18,357 --> 00:12:19,824 Better save the battery. 232 00:12:19,892 --> 00:12:21,883 No, no, don't give up. Somebody might answer. 233 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,862 No, it's not transmitting. Landing so hard must've jarred something loose. 234 00:12:25,931 --> 00:12:28,092 Great. Now we'll never get out of here. 235 00:12:28,167 --> 00:12:30,362 Rick, the Coast Guard will come looking for us... 236 00:12:30,436 --> 00:12:32,199 as soon as they realize we're overdue at Molokai. 237 00:12:32,271 --> 00:12:34,296 There's absolutely nothing to worry about. 238 00:12:34,373 --> 00:12:35,499 Well... 239 00:12:40,512 --> 00:12:44,744 in the meantime, I will begin to forage food for our supper. 240 00:12:44,817 --> 00:12:48,776 What food? What supper? Who says we're gonna be here that long? 241 00:12:53,692 --> 00:12:55,717 What can I do to help? Nothing. 242 00:12:55,794 --> 00:12:57,591 Well, how long is this gonna take? 243 00:12:57,863 --> 00:12:59,990 Look, Rick, give me some breathing room. 244 00:13:02,134 --> 00:13:05,763 Rick, come on, let's go look for some wood for a signal fire. Come on. 245 00:13:10,109 --> 00:13:12,009 Go! Okay, I'm going, I'm going. 246 00:13:22,054 --> 00:13:25,546 Hey, Thomas, Thomas. Wait up. You're going too fast. 247 00:13:26,325 --> 00:13:28,384 I don't like this place. It's quiet. 248 00:13:28,460 --> 00:13:30,189 Yeah. Too quiet. 249 00:13:30,262 --> 00:13:32,162 Oh, sure, very funny. Joke around. 250 00:13:32,231 --> 00:13:34,392 I can't help it. You're just so serious. 251 00:13:34,466 --> 00:13:37,731 Well, excuse me. That's my natural reaction when my life is in danger. 252 00:13:37,803 --> 00:13:39,828 Of course, I could have a more mature attitude... 253 00:13:39,905 --> 00:13:41,736 be a clown, have a few laughs. 254 00:13:41,807 --> 00:13:44,173 Rick, your life is not in danger. 255 00:13:44,243 --> 00:13:45,972 That's debatable. 256 00:13:46,311 --> 00:13:49,371 Hell, this place is spooky. It reminds me of Nam. 257 00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:55,178 Thomas, there's something I got to tell you. 258 00:13:55,988 --> 00:13:57,012 I don't know. 259 00:13:57,089 --> 00:13:59,182 Just in case we don't get out of here. 260 00:13:59,925 --> 00:14:00,914 Well... 261 00:14:01,293 --> 00:14:03,591 when I was a little kid I did something... 262 00:14:03,929 --> 00:14:05,556 that, you well, I'm not real proud of. 263 00:14:05,631 --> 00:14:07,656 In fact, I'm darned right ashamed of it. 264 00:14:07,733 --> 00:14:09,223 Rick! Don't. 265 00:14:09,301 --> 00:14:11,235 No, no. No! I got to get it off my chest. 266 00:14:11,303 --> 00:14:14,170 Don't move a muscle. 267 00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:15,700 What? 268 00:14:15,774 --> 00:14:18,402 Stand absolutely still. 269 00:14:19,711 --> 00:14:21,372 What? There's a... 270 00:14:22,047 --> 00:14:23,571 A bug! In your shirt. 271 00:14:29,321 --> 00:14:31,687 That isn't funny! 272 00:14:36,261 --> 00:14:38,786 It's tragic. Very tragic. 273 00:14:40,399 --> 00:14:41,957 A whole generation of fighting men... 274 00:14:42,034 --> 00:14:44,229 without any real experience in fighting. 275 00:14:45,804 --> 00:14:49,171 Of course, that's all reflected in our ship's poor ratings. 276 00:14:50,008 --> 00:14:53,569 I'm going to change all that, Jensen. The men work hard, sir. 277 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:56,905 It takes more than hard work. 278 00:14:58,183 --> 00:14:59,980 Sometimes it takes a war. 279 00:15:03,822 --> 00:15:06,586 I'm afraid this is not going to be much of a Christmas, is it? 280 00:15:06,658 --> 00:15:08,626 No, sir, I suppose it isn't. 281 00:15:10,128 --> 00:15:12,722 Well, you'll have other Christmases. 282 00:15:14,199 --> 00:15:15,723 Your Christmases. 283 00:15:17,302 --> 00:15:18,826 I've had mine. 284 00:15:20,839 --> 00:15:22,704 An ice breaker in the Antarctic. 285 00:15:24,209 --> 00:15:25,733 A gunboat in the Delta. 286 00:15:27,045 --> 00:15:29,775 A stray escort in the North Atlantic. 287 00:15:31,817 --> 00:15:33,512 Just like the good old days. 288 00:15:34,953 --> 00:15:36,420 Yes, sir. 289 00:15:39,925 --> 00:15:42,485 Okay, 10 hours 43 minutes. 290 00:15:42,928 --> 00:15:45,692 Clear this away. I'd like to take a look at that map again. 291 00:15:45,764 --> 00:15:47,026 Yes, sir. 292 00:15:50,869 --> 00:15:53,167 ♪ Oh, when the sun beats down ♪ 293 00:15:53,238 --> 00:15:56,730 ♪ And burns the tar up on the roof ♪ 294 00:15:56,808 --> 00:15:58,969 ♪ And your shoes get so hot ♪ 295 00:15:59,144 --> 00:16:00,975 ♪ You wish your tired feet ♪ 296 00:16:01,046 --> 00:16:02,946 ♪ Were fire-proof ♪ 297 00:16:04,016 --> 00:16:06,644 ♪ Under the boardwalk ♪ 298 00:16:07,219 --> 00:16:10,950 ♪ Down by the sea ♪ 299 00:16:11,423 --> 00:16:14,017 ♪ On a blanket with my baby ♪ 300 00:16:14,293 --> 00:16:16,887 ♪ That's where I'll be ♪ 301 00:16:17,329 --> 00:16:19,661 ♪ Under the boardwalk ♪ 302 00:16:19,765 --> 00:16:21,892 ♪ Out of the sun ♪ 303 00:16:21,967 --> 00:16:23,730 ♪ Under the boardwalk ♪ 304 00:16:23,802 --> 00:16:26,134 ♪ We'll be having some fun ♪ 305 00:16:26,204 --> 00:16:28,001 ♪ Under the boardwalk ♪ 306 00:16:28,073 --> 00:16:29,973 ♪ People up above ♪ 307 00:16:30,042 --> 00:16:31,976 ♪ Under the boardwalk ♪ 308 00:16:32,044 --> 00:16:33,944 ♪ We'll be making love ♪ 309 00:16:34,012 --> 00:16:36,037 ♪ Under the boardwalk ♪ 310 00:16:36,315 --> 00:16:37,976 ♪ Boardwalk ♪ 311 00:16:43,221 --> 00:16:44,688 How's it going, T.C.? 312 00:16:45,691 --> 00:16:47,386 It's going. 313 00:16:47,626 --> 00:16:50,561 Any luck? What's that? 314 00:16:50,629 --> 00:16:53,723 Will you stop that? No. I'm serious. Listen, don't you hear it? 315 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,532 A chopper. It's the Coast Guard! 316 00:17:02,808 --> 00:17:05,675 Hey! 317 00:17:13,318 --> 00:17:15,582 Hey! 318 00:17:18,991 --> 00:17:19,980 Help! 319 00:17:21,059 --> 00:17:22,686 Hey! 320 00:17:26,565 --> 00:17:27,725 Damn. 321 00:17:29,234 --> 00:17:30,633 They'll be back. 322 00:17:31,669 --> 00:17:35,400 They will. Once we get a signal fire started, they can't miss us. 323 00:17:38,410 --> 00:17:39,570 Where's Higgins? 324 00:17:39,644 --> 00:17:41,669 Exploring and foraging. 325 00:17:42,514 --> 00:17:45,449 He never came back? Maybe we'd better go look for him. 326 00:17:45,517 --> 00:17:48,418 Oh, he's probably having a good old time. 327 00:17:49,454 --> 00:17:52,651 Like Stewart Granger in King Solomon's Mines or something. 328 00:17:52,724 --> 00:17:54,624 Stewart Granger was trapped in a cave. 329 00:17:54,692 --> 00:17:56,489 Yeah, but he got out. It was really neat. 330 00:17:56,561 --> 00:17:57,755 I'm going to go look for him. 331 00:17:57,829 --> 00:18:00,389 You should've seen what happened. - Come on. 332 00:18:06,538 --> 00:18:08,472 Are you sure this is the direction he went in? 333 00:18:08,540 --> 00:18:10,371 This is the direction he went in when he started. 334 00:18:10,442 --> 00:18:11,466 Now that's just great. 335 00:18:11,543 --> 00:18:12,669 That just means he could be anywhere. 336 00:18:12,744 --> 00:18:14,712 I don't like this place. Rick! 337 00:18:14,779 --> 00:18:16,246 Okay. 338 00:18:17,982 --> 00:18:20,507 Look. Footprints. 339 00:18:22,687 --> 00:18:24,848 Holy cow. A peg leg. 340 00:18:28,092 --> 00:18:30,424 That's not a peg leg. It's a... 341 00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:34,628 What? What has one left foot and a stick for the right? 342 00:18:34,699 --> 00:18:36,257 Robinson Crusoe? 343 00:18:38,336 --> 00:18:41,169 Come on, I'm sure there's a logical explanation for all this. 344 00:18:41,239 --> 00:18:44,037 Aye, pirates, me hearties. 345 00:18:44,809 --> 00:18:47,277 Cannibals. Are you guys both going crazy? 346 00:18:47,345 --> 00:18:50,041 There are no pirates or cannibals on this island. 347 00:18:50,114 --> 00:18:52,173 There is nothing on this island. Nothing! 348 00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:54,582 All right, then where is Higgins? 349 00:18:54,719 --> 00:18:56,550 Probably simmering in a pot right now. 350 00:18:56,621 --> 00:18:58,248 We'd better find him and find him fast. 351 00:18:58,323 --> 00:18:59,847 Come on. 352 00:19:01,226 --> 00:19:03,694 I saw this movie once called, The Island. 353 00:19:03,761 --> 00:19:05,729 There were these pirate guys on this island. 354 00:19:05,797 --> 00:19:07,958 Now, when they were on this island, nobody knew that they- 355 00:19:10,301 --> 00:19:11,734 Listen. 356 00:19:11,803 --> 00:19:13,168 Oh, my God. 357 00:19:13,238 --> 00:19:15,433 Higgins! Higgins! 358 00:19:21,179 --> 00:19:23,909 Really. Must the three of you act like cannibals? 359 00:19:24,682 --> 00:19:25,944 The peg leg. 360 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:32,616 And he was dragging that plant covering up the other footprint. 361 00:19:34,559 --> 00:19:36,789 My God, has the jungle gotten to you so soon? 362 00:19:36,861 --> 00:19:38,488 Pull yourselves together, lads. 363 00:19:38,563 --> 00:19:43,193 For I have made a most astounding discovery. Exhilarating, actually. 364 00:19:44,736 --> 00:19:47,102 It's a wrecked plane, so? 365 00:19:47,372 --> 00:19:49,363 What's so exhilarating about that? 366 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,499 To you, perhaps, it is a wrecked plane. 367 00:19:51,576 --> 00:19:53,373 To me, it is a way out of here. 368 00:19:53,444 --> 00:19:55,537 What are you talking about, Higgins? 369 00:19:55,613 --> 00:19:58,081 It reminds me of the time I was stranded on an island... 370 00:19:58,149 --> 00:19:59,582 off the northern coast of Africa. 371 00:19:59,651 --> 00:20:01,448 I had been wounded and rendered unconscious... 372 00:20:01,519 --> 00:20:04,511 for what must have been a full week. Imagine my surprise... 373 00:20:04,589 --> 00:20:05,783 when I woke to find that I- 374 00:20:05,857 --> 00:20:08,758 Can you cut to the part where you get to the wrecked plane? 375 00:20:08,826 --> 00:20:10,316 Oh. Quite. 376 00:20:10,662 --> 00:20:14,689 Magnum, I think you'll find this quite interesting. 377 00:20:20,004 --> 00:20:21,596 Magnum? 378 00:20:23,641 --> 00:20:25,905 I think we've found more than just a plane. 379 00:20:50,545 --> 00:20:52,178 There's another guy who didn't make it off the island. 380 00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,345 Rick. Well, sorry. 381 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,387 Imperial Air Force. 382 00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:03,625 And from the looks of the plane... 383 00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:05,387 a reconnaissance pilot. 384 00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:09,594 Must've been the pilot who scouted the Pearl Harbor attack. 385 00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:11,534 That's quite possible. 386 00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:16,468 This gentleman then was responsible for a heavy loss of life. 387 00:21:16,543 --> 00:21:18,067 Including his own. 388 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:19,673 Quite. 389 00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:21,443 MIA. 390 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:22,941 What? 391 00:21:23,183 --> 00:21:24,650 He's probably listed as an MIA. 392 00:21:24,718 --> 00:21:27,209 Yeah, well, I bet you his family's through looking for him. 393 00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:30,586 Come on, Higgins, what's your plan? What are you doing, Magnum? 394 00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:31,919 I'm looking for a serial number. 395 00:21:31,992 --> 00:21:36,088 I'm sure there's somebody who would like to know he's not missing any more. 396 00:21:38,365 --> 00:21:41,095 Thomas, we've got to get out of here ourselves. 397 00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:43,795 Plus we got to get the fire started. We got to get the chopper- 398 00:21:43,870 --> 00:21:46,031 He may have been on the other side. But he was a soldier. 399 00:21:46,106 --> 00:21:47,596 Just doing his job. 400 00:21:51,745 --> 00:21:53,770 Yeah, I know where you're coming from. 401 00:21:55,849 --> 00:21:57,874 It could have been any one of us. 402 00:22:21,775 --> 00:22:24,175 Back to the living. Us. 403 00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:28,137 This way, gentlemen. 404 00:22:28,515 --> 00:22:31,643 This, of course, will rank as one of my most crowning achievements. 405 00:22:31,718 --> 00:22:33,083 What's he talking about now? 406 00:22:33,153 --> 00:22:35,212 You know, Higgins, you're really a genius. 407 00:22:35,288 --> 00:22:36,880 How're you going to get it to fly? 408 00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:40,084 I'm not going to get it to fly. I'm going to get it to float. 409 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,355 Oh, yeah. Right. Well, I guess that will work, too. 410 00:22:42,429 --> 00:22:44,056 I don't see how. 411 00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:47,793 Oh, ye of paltry imaginations, must I spell everything out? 412 00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:49,391 Something. 413 00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:52,597 As you can see, this aircraft is constructed of stressed aluminum. 414 00:22:52,672 --> 00:22:55,300 This light-weight material contributed to its considerable range. 415 00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:57,468 653 miles to be precise. 416 00:22:57,544 --> 00:23:00,069 You may find this interesting, most people don't realize- 417 00:23:00,146 --> 00:23:03,843 Higgins, please. Can we save the stories until we get out of here. 418 00:23:04,684 --> 00:23:07,414 Quite right, Rick. Well, let's get to it. 419 00:23:08,455 --> 00:23:09,752 Get to what? 420 00:23:09,823 --> 00:23:13,156 I propose that we shear off the top of the fuselage, remove the engines... 421 00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:17,720 discard the wings, patch those areas with woven palm fronds using glue... 422 00:23:17,797 --> 00:23:21,494 made from the remnants of petroleum in the wing tanks and gum from the tires... 423 00:23:21,568 --> 00:23:23,536 thereby creating essentially an outrigger canoe... 424 00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:25,662 enabling us to sail the blazes away. 425 00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:27,205 You saw, Flight of the Phoenix. 426 00:23:27,273 --> 00:23:28,433 To Molokai. 427 00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:29,599 You're crazy. 428 00:23:29,676 --> 00:23:31,541 Oh, I think that's a bit harsh, T.C. 429 00:23:31,611 --> 00:23:33,875 Overly optimistic, perhaps, but... 430 00:23:33,947 --> 00:23:34,936 Crazy. 431 00:23:35,014 --> 00:23:37,574 That's what they said about Columbus. And he discovered America. 432 00:23:37,650 --> 00:23:39,777 In a boat. Not in a Japanese plane. 433 00:23:39,853 --> 00:23:42,117 I mean, if you're so set on taking a cruise... 434 00:23:42,188 --> 00:23:44,952 you might as well take the flotation devices off the chopper. 435 00:23:45,024 --> 00:23:47,288 Sort of floating hors d'oeuvres for the sharks? 436 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:48,418 No, thank you. 437 00:23:48,495 --> 00:23:52,022 I intend to make this into a seaworthy vessel if I have to do it by myself. 438 00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:54,623 Now are you going to assist in this endeavor or not? 439 00:23:55,201 --> 00:23:57,931 Well, sure, Higgins. Of course we'll help. 440 00:23:58,338 --> 00:23:59,430 Thank you, Magnum. 441 00:23:59,506 --> 00:24:02,407 It also took some time for Columbus to be appreciated. 442 00:24:02,475 --> 00:24:03,942 He was looking for India. 443 00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:06,010 What can we do? 444 00:24:06,079 --> 00:24:08,946 Well, if someone will retrieve the hacksaw from T.C.'s toolbox... 445 00:24:09,015 --> 00:24:10,380 I'll make the incisions. 446 00:24:10,450 --> 00:24:12,145 Then, we'll need wood for the fire... 447 00:24:12,218 --> 00:24:13,583 and palm fronds for the patching. 448 00:24:13,653 --> 00:24:15,484 The greener the better. The thicker the better. 449 00:24:15,555 --> 00:24:17,648 Great, Higgins. We'll give it the old college try. 450 00:24:17,724 --> 00:24:18,713 Good. 451 00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:20,088 Are you serious? 452 00:24:20,293 --> 00:24:23,023 Oh, come on, T.C. What can it hurt to try? 453 00:24:23,096 --> 00:24:25,291 Besides, this is the time of year where you're supposed to... 454 00:24:25,365 --> 00:24:27,356 enjoy helping each other out. 455 00:24:28,635 --> 00:24:31,195 Oh, yeah. Right. Well. 456 00:24:32,372 --> 00:24:33,634 You help. 457 00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:35,967 You take care of the important stuff. 458 00:24:36,042 --> 00:24:38,670 I'm going to go see if I can get the chopper working. 459 00:24:40,747 --> 00:24:43,113 I'll see what I can find. The greener the better. 460 00:24:43,183 --> 00:24:45,378 The thicker the better. Quite. 461 00:24:45,785 --> 00:24:48,811 This is a terrific idea. Terrific. 462 00:24:48,888 --> 00:24:50,253 Thank you. 463 00:24:50,657 --> 00:24:51,715 You know, Higgins... 464 00:24:51,791 --> 00:24:54,055 there's something that I always wanted to tell you. 465 00:24:54,127 --> 00:24:58,587 I mean, deep down, you're really an okay guy. 466 00:25:00,233 --> 00:25:01,757 How reassuring. 467 00:25:05,138 --> 00:25:06,469 Higgins... 468 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,408 there's something that, well... I mean... 469 00:25:09,475 --> 00:25:11,966 there's something that I want to get off my chest. 470 00:25:12,078 --> 00:25:14,171 It's about my cousin, Jenny. 471 00:25:14,981 --> 00:25:16,073 I'm not real proud of it. 472 00:25:16,149 --> 00:25:18,743 In fact, I'm downright ashamed of it. 473 00:25:19,319 --> 00:25:21,787 It was in the fourth grade and after school I- 474 00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:23,981 Rick, please, this is no time for long... 475 00:25:24,057 --> 00:25:25,991 boring and irrelevant stories. 476 00:25:26,059 --> 00:25:28,391 Now go and collect those palm fronds. 477 00:25:30,363 --> 00:25:32,263 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, sure. 478 00:25:34,067 --> 00:25:37,195 Sure. Big and green. 479 00:25:38,137 --> 00:25:39,661 Big and green. 480 00:25:41,608 --> 00:25:44,076 Big and green. Big and green. 481 00:25:45,378 --> 00:25:47,869 Wants big and green. I'll get big and green. 482 00:25:55,355 --> 00:25:57,152 That's big and green. 483 00:26:04,664 --> 00:26:07,497 Oh, God! Quicksand. 484 00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:08,928 Thomas! 485 00:26:09,836 --> 00:26:11,360 Thomas! 486 00:26:13,273 --> 00:26:14,535 Higgins! 487 00:26:17,477 --> 00:26:19,206 Higgins! Thomas! 488 00:26:20,380 --> 00:26:21,608 T.C.! 489 00:26:21,948 --> 00:26:25,111 Help me, I'm sinking! Higgins! 490 00:26:25,451 --> 00:26:28,887 Thomas! Thomas! 491 00:26:30,857 --> 00:26:33,621 Orville Rick Wright. 492 00:26:34,294 --> 00:26:37,786 The best darn gunner in the Marine Corps. 493 00:26:38,431 --> 00:26:42,800 Irresistible to women. Legendary in the ring. 494 00:26:44,837 --> 00:26:46,361 And... 495 00:26:46,439 --> 00:26:50,773 And the greatest buddy a guy could ask for. 496 00:27:00,019 --> 00:27:02,886 A keen mind and quick wit... 497 00:27:03,690 --> 00:27:06,022 diplomatic, conscientious... 498 00:27:06,893 --> 00:27:09,361 a terrific conversationalist. 499 00:27:10,396 --> 00:27:12,557 He shall be sorely missed. 500 00:27:15,268 --> 00:27:18,260 "Sorry I had to miss the funeral." 501 00:27:18,338 --> 00:27:22,399 "Enjoy the Big Casino in the sky. Ice Pick." 502 00:27:38,758 --> 00:27:40,783 We're gonna miss you, pal. 503 00:27:43,296 --> 00:27:44,320 No! 504 00:27:46,899 --> 00:27:48,196 Rick! 505 00:27:50,269 --> 00:27:52,203 Orville, what are you doing in there? 506 00:27:52,271 --> 00:27:54,501 I'm sinking in quicksand! Hurry up! 507 00:27:54,574 --> 00:27:56,599 Throw me a vine! I'm going down quick! 508 00:27:56,676 --> 00:27:57,768 Help me! 509 00:27:57,844 --> 00:27:59,004 Stand up. 510 00:27:59,078 --> 00:28:00,102 What? 511 00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:01,476 Stand up. 512 00:28:09,489 --> 00:28:11,923 You mean this... This isn't... 513 00:28:12,325 --> 00:28:13,792 No, it isn't. 514 00:28:15,395 --> 00:28:16,760 It's a bog. 515 00:28:16,829 --> 00:28:19,127 There is no quicksand in Hawaii. 516 00:28:19,932 --> 00:28:20,990 Oh. 517 00:28:22,301 --> 00:28:23,359 Come on. 518 00:28:23,436 --> 00:28:25,427 Wait. I have to get my fronds. 519 00:28:25,605 --> 00:28:26,697 Oh, yeah. 520 00:28:26,773 --> 00:28:29,674 The Higgins Paradise Cruise's Luxury Liner. 521 00:28:36,649 --> 00:28:38,082 Watch out for that centipede. 522 00:28:38,151 --> 00:28:39,209 What centipede? 523 00:28:39,285 --> 00:28:40,343 The one next to the lizard. 524 00:28:40,420 --> 00:28:41,682 What lizard? 525 00:28:46,492 --> 00:28:48,153 That's isn't funny! 526 00:28:49,028 --> 00:28:50,325 It's inspirational. 527 00:28:50,696 --> 00:28:51,754 Sir? 528 00:28:51,831 --> 00:28:55,460 The way the men pull together to see a mission successfully completed. 529 00:28:55,535 --> 00:28:57,867 Like our ship's gonna do tonight. 530 00:28:58,304 --> 00:28:59,999 All right. What've we got? 531 00:29:00,106 --> 00:29:02,199 Our choice of targets, sir. 532 00:29:04,644 --> 00:29:05,736 Mmm-hmm. 533 00:29:05,978 --> 00:29:08,173 Abandoned vehicles have been targeted... 534 00:29:08,247 --> 00:29:09,475 across the island... 535 00:29:09,549 --> 00:29:12,985 but the jungle has had the least amount of activity in prior exercises. 536 00:29:14,387 --> 00:29:15,513 Well, that is... 537 00:29:15,588 --> 00:29:17,215 No, no, continue. 538 00:29:17,857 --> 00:29:21,918 Well, that is the targets would therefore be easily accounted for- 539 00:29:21,994 --> 00:29:23,222 Easily? 540 00:29:23,596 --> 00:29:26,793 Well, I don't mean easy in the sense of shirking our duty, sir, I- 541 00:29:26,866 --> 00:29:29,334 Don't you know a joke when you hear one, Ensign? 542 00:29:30,236 --> 00:29:32,170 Of course we'll shell the jungle. 543 00:29:32,672 --> 00:29:35,300 Let me know when you're ready to commence firing. 544 00:29:35,608 --> 00:29:37,098 Aye, aye, sir. 545 00:29:41,581 --> 00:29:43,572 And heave! 546 00:29:45,084 --> 00:29:46,711 And heave! 547 00:29:48,321 --> 00:29:49,948 And heave! 548 00:29:52,458 --> 00:29:54,255 And heave! 549 00:29:56,762 --> 00:29:58,889 And heave! 550 00:30:00,867 --> 00:30:02,801 And heave! 551 00:30:05,004 --> 00:30:06,869 And heave! 552 00:30:08,608 --> 00:30:09,768 Hi, guys. 553 00:30:09,842 --> 00:30:11,241 Oh, Magnum. Good. 554 00:30:11,310 --> 00:30:13,835 Give us a hand with this, will you? 555 00:30:13,913 --> 00:30:15,847 Oh, Higgins, I kind of got my hands full... 556 00:30:15,915 --> 00:30:17,405 keeping the signal fire going. 557 00:30:17,483 --> 00:30:18,609 Forget the fire, Thomas. 558 00:30:18,684 --> 00:30:20,618 We're gonna get out of here on Higgins' boat. 559 00:30:22,054 --> 00:30:24,784 I fail to find any humor in this, Magnum. 560 00:30:24,857 --> 00:30:28,384 We need your assistance in getting this vessel to shore and we need it now. 561 00:30:28,628 --> 00:30:30,858 Okay, Higgins. I'll just put this wood on the fire... 562 00:30:30,930 --> 00:30:32,955 and then I'll come back and give you guys a hand. 563 00:30:33,032 --> 00:30:36,490 As your Commander-in-Chief, I order you to cease your current activities... 564 00:30:36,569 --> 00:30:39,163 and report immediately to boat detail. 565 00:30:39,405 --> 00:30:43,774 Higgins, that is not a boat. That is a plane. 566 00:30:44,010 --> 00:30:46,274 And you are not my Commander-in-Chief. 567 00:30:46,579 --> 00:30:50,310 I must warn you, you're skating dangerously close to insubordination. 568 00:30:53,686 --> 00:30:55,586 Fine. Fine. 569 00:30:55,655 --> 00:30:57,714 You wanna play your little games? Fine! 570 00:30:57,790 --> 00:30:59,257 But you're going to have to wait... 571 00:30:59,325 --> 00:31:01,259 till I put this wood on that fire. 572 00:31:01,327 --> 00:31:02,817 I'm not gonna take another chance... 573 00:31:02,895 --> 00:31:04,760 on the coastguard missing us again. 574 00:31:06,632 --> 00:31:10,295 You know, you're the one who's always accusing me of acting like a kid. 575 00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:11,461 Well, look at you. 576 00:31:11,537 --> 00:31:13,437 You're like an overgrown Boy Scout... 577 00:31:13,506 --> 00:31:16,236 trying to earn his Survival Merit Badge. 578 00:31:16,742 --> 00:31:18,004 Now, okay. 579 00:31:18,077 --> 00:31:19,203 Maybe you are right. 580 00:31:19,278 --> 00:31:20,973 Maybe, for once, I am being practical... 581 00:31:21,047 --> 00:31:22,981 even mundanely practical... 582 00:31:23,049 --> 00:31:25,882 but I want to make sure that we get off of here. 583 00:31:25,952 --> 00:31:28,944 So I'm going to walk up that beach... 584 00:31:29,255 --> 00:31:32,816 and then I'm going to put this wood on that fire... 585 00:31:32,959 --> 00:31:35,257 and then, and only then... 586 00:31:35,695 --> 00:31:38,493 will I come back and help you guys out. 587 00:31:40,866 --> 00:31:42,060 Quite. 588 00:31:51,243 --> 00:31:53,177 And heave! 589 00:31:56,482 --> 00:31:58,245 And heave! 590 00:32:04,657 --> 00:32:05,885 And- 591 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:08,988 Come on. 592 00:32:10,896 --> 00:32:12,261 A little to your left. 593 00:32:12,331 --> 00:32:13,889 And mind the exposed root there. 594 00:32:13,966 --> 00:32:15,957 We don't want to inflict any damage to the hull. 595 00:32:16,035 --> 00:32:17,366 Don't push it, Higgins. 596 00:32:17,436 --> 00:32:18,994 And heave! 597 00:32:20,373 --> 00:32:22,864 ♪ That's the sound of the men ♪ 598 00:32:22,942 --> 00:32:26,810 ♪ Working on the chain gang ♪ 599 00:32:27,546 --> 00:32:29,980 ♪ That's the sound of the men ♪ 600 00:32:30,049 --> 00:32:33,075 ♪ Working on the chain gang ♪ 601 00:32:34,220 --> 00:32:36,916 ♪ All day long they work so hard ♪ 602 00:32:36,989 --> 00:32:38,422 ♪ Until the sun is ♪ 603 00:32:38,491 --> 00:32:40,186 Come on, you have to see this. 604 00:32:40,259 --> 00:32:42,557 See what? Just come on. Come on. 605 00:32:56,609 --> 00:32:58,907 It isn't going to work. Look how flimsy it is. 606 00:32:58,978 --> 00:33:00,445 Nonsense. 607 00:33:00,513 --> 00:33:02,981 The Zeus Apollo II is quite sturdy. 608 00:33:03,182 --> 00:33:04,547 Zeus Apollo II? 609 00:33:04,617 --> 00:33:06,517 Named after its predecessor... 610 00:33:06,585 --> 00:33:09,577 during the time I was on that island off the coast of Africa. 611 00:33:09,722 --> 00:33:12,247 I thought I'd told you about that, Rick. 612 00:33:12,324 --> 00:33:13,313 Oh. 613 00:33:13,392 --> 00:33:15,485 Nevertheless, this incarnation, I have no doubt... 614 00:33:15,561 --> 00:33:17,927 will be equally as successful as the original. 615 00:33:17,997 --> 00:33:19,396 The original Titanic. 616 00:33:19,465 --> 00:33:20,898 Scoff if you will. 617 00:33:20,966 --> 00:33:22,695 But after I make a brief test run... 618 00:33:22,768 --> 00:33:24,998 the four of us will set sail for Molokai. 619 00:33:25,171 --> 00:33:28,299 Yeah, well, put me down for 4:00 shuffle board. 620 00:33:28,674 --> 00:33:31,234 Come on, T.C. I mean, we gotta hand it to Higgins. 621 00:33:31,310 --> 00:33:33,938 I thought this was a half-baked idea... 622 00:33:34,547 --> 00:33:36,777 but it looks like it'll float. 623 00:33:37,283 --> 00:33:38,580 Oh, it will float. 624 00:33:39,385 --> 00:33:41,910 It may be a trifle difficult to steer... 625 00:33:41,987 --> 00:33:43,511 but it will float. 626 00:33:43,589 --> 00:33:45,284 You can depend on that. 627 00:33:45,357 --> 00:33:48,155 We shall be home in time for Christmas dinner. 628 00:33:48,227 --> 00:33:50,195 Now, shove me off, lads. 629 00:33:51,964 --> 00:33:53,329 Heave! 630 00:33:54,300 --> 00:33:55,790 Heave! 631 00:33:56,936 --> 00:33:58,096 Heave! 632 00:33:58,170 --> 00:34:00,195 Actually, I think it's rather fitting... 633 00:34:00,272 --> 00:34:02,763 that we find our way home in a small sailing vessel. 634 00:34:02,842 --> 00:34:04,241 After all the Polynesians... 635 00:34:04,310 --> 00:34:05,834 who first settled the Islands... 636 00:34:05,911 --> 00:34:07,708 traveled great distances in canoes... 637 00:34:07,780 --> 00:34:09,771 that were much smaller and more fragile... 638 00:34:09,849 --> 00:34:11,714 than our sturdy little... 639 00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:18,917 craft. 640 00:34:41,196 --> 00:34:44,188 "My rare edition of Military Maneuvers..." 641 00:34:45,367 --> 00:34:50,270 "I bequeath to Agatha Chumley." 642 00:34:52,608 --> 00:34:54,235 She'll like that. 643 00:35:02,618 --> 00:35:04,882 "My handcrafted replica..." 644 00:35:06,455 --> 00:35:09,219 "of the bridge on the river Kwai..." 645 00:35:10,526 --> 00:35:12,289 "I bequeath to..." 646 00:35:16,565 --> 00:35:17,896 "Thomas..." 647 00:35:20,569 --> 00:35:21,968 "Sullivan..." 648 00:35:25,874 --> 00:35:27,136 "Magnum." 649 00:35:33,949 --> 00:35:37,749 He's going to die on this godforsaken isle the same time I do. 650 00:35:42,758 --> 00:35:45,056 "The bridge on the river Kwai..." 651 00:35:46,795 --> 00:35:49,195 "and the rest of my possessions..." 652 00:35:49,998 --> 00:35:51,795 "to go to the lads..." 653 00:35:54,036 --> 00:35:57,494 "Apollo and Zeus." 654 00:36:00,909 --> 00:36:02,900 They'll appreciate that. 655 00:36:13,288 --> 00:36:15,813 Hi. Where's Thomas? 656 00:36:16,225 --> 00:36:18,921 He'll be back in a minute. Said he had something to do. 657 00:36:19,828 --> 00:36:21,591 How're you coming along there? 658 00:36:22,498 --> 00:36:25,695 Closer. I think I've narrowed it down considerably. 659 00:36:27,536 --> 00:36:29,026 T.C... Mmm-hmm? 660 00:36:31,006 --> 00:36:33,736 There's something that I wanna tell you... 661 00:36:34,510 --> 00:36:37,707 just in case we don't get out of here. 662 00:36:37,779 --> 00:36:38,871 What? 663 00:36:39,982 --> 00:36:42,382 Well, it's something that I'm not real proud of. 664 00:36:42,451 --> 00:36:44,976 In fact, I'm downright ashamed of it. 665 00:36:45,187 --> 00:36:46,449 Mmm-hmm? 666 00:36:46,522 --> 00:36:49,047 See, it's about my cousin, Jenny. 667 00:36:49,124 --> 00:36:50,751 When I was in the fourth grade, I- 668 00:36:50,826 --> 00:36:53,124 I already know about this, Rick. 669 00:36:54,096 --> 00:36:55,256 You do? 670 00:36:55,664 --> 00:36:57,325 Yeah, you told me. 671 00:36:57,399 --> 00:36:58,889 I did? Uh-huh. 672 00:36:59,468 --> 00:37:02,631 At Khe Sanh when the mortar shells were coming in. 673 00:37:06,041 --> 00:37:09,135 Of course later on you told me you were kidding. 674 00:37:09,211 --> 00:37:10,269 Oh. 675 00:37:16,185 --> 00:37:18,483 Higgins still moping around on the beach? 676 00:37:18,554 --> 00:37:19,646 Yeah. 677 00:37:21,390 --> 00:37:22,721 Excuse me. 678 00:37:32,901 --> 00:37:36,166 Perhaps if I had reinforced the hull... 679 00:37:42,644 --> 00:37:43,702 Hey! 680 00:37:47,216 --> 00:37:50,151 Looks like we got the fire going real strong. 681 00:37:50,886 --> 00:37:53,218 Coast Guard will be able to see us for sure now... 682 00:37:53,288 --> 00:37:54,949 once it gets dark. 683 00:38:00,462 --> 00:38:02,123 Hey, come on, man. 684 00:38:02,297 --> 00:38:04,288 Don't be so hard on yourself. 685 00:38:04,366 --> 00:38:06,994 It's not your fault that the plane... 686 00:38:07,069 --> 00:38:08,900 I mean, the boat sank. 687 00:38:09,638 --> 00:38:12,038 Too many years away from the field. 688 00:38:13,075 --> 00:38:16,533 I'm afraid my survival skills have become dulled a bit. 689 00:38:21,750 --> 00:38:23,479 It could've worked. 690 00:38:28,690 --> 00:38:32,683 Jonathan, it was a great try. It didn't work. So what? 691 00:38:32,761 --> 00:38:35,161 We're still gonna get out of here. 692 00:38:36,198 --> 00:38:37,995 Perhaps you're right. 693 00:38:38,667 --> 00:38:40,066 Carry on, and all that. 694 00:38:40,135 --> 00:38:41,568 There you go. 695 00:38:45,173 --> 00:38:47,073 You called me Jonathan. 696 00:38:48,110 --> 00:38:49,975 Yeah, I did, didn't I? 697 00:38:51,546 --> 00:38:52,706 Quite. 698 00:38:56,051 --> 00:38:58,383 Well, then, let's get on with it. 699 00:38:59,187 --> 00:39:00,313 Beg your pardon? 700 00:39:00,389 --> 00:39:01,378 Supper, man. 701 00:39:01,456 --> 00:39:04,653 The human body cannot function without proper nourishment. 702 00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,060 I've collected some rare vegetation... 703 00:39:07,129 --> 00:39:09,654 which I think you'll find quite delectable. 704 00:39:10,232 --> 00:39:14,430 Very similar to that cultivated in certain remote parts of Borneo. 705 00:39:14,803 --> 00:39:16,395 I was there, you know. 706 00:39:33,055 --> 00:39:35,148 Ho, ho, ho! 707 00:39:35,724 --> 00:39:42,486 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪ 708 00:39:42,564 --> 00:39:45,089 ♪ And a Happy New Year ♪ 709 00:39:45,233 --> 00:39:46,666 What is that? 710 00:39:46,735 --> 00:39:49,397 It's a Christmas tree. 711 00:39:49,471 --> 00:39:51,769 This is what you've been spending all this time doing? 712 00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:54,866 Yeah. Pretty good, huh? Absolutely defies description. 713 00:39:54,943 --> 00:39:57,741 Well, what's Christmas Eve without a Christmas... 714 00:39:57,813 --> 00:40:01,544 Rick, don't move. There's a bug in your hair. 715 00:40:01,783 --> 00:40:03,216 Sure there is. 716 00:40:03,285 --> 00:40:05,583 Oh, no, really. It's a praying mantis. 717 00:40:06,355 --> 00:40:08,880 Look, guys, I'm not going for it again. 718 00:40:08,957 --> 00:40:11,755 "Rick, there's a bug in your pocket. Rick, there's a centipede. 719 00:40:11,827 --> 00:40:14,591 "Rick, there's a lizard." Well, forget it. 720 00:40:14,663 --> 00:40:16,460 I don't believe it anymore. 721 00:40:23,438 --> 00:40:25,668 Now, where shall I put this? 722 00:40:45,193 --> 00:40:49,220 Perhaps, in an odd way, being stranded here has been good for us. 723 00:40:49,464 --> 00:40:51,295 I, for one, have been so intent... 724 00:40:51,366 --> 00:40:53,732 on getting everything done that needed to get done... 725 00:40:53,835 --> 00:40:57,100 I'd completely lost track of the spirit of the season. 726 00:40:57,439 --> 00:40:59,031 Yeah. Me, too. 727 00:40:59,574 --> 00:41:02,600 I'm really sorry you're gonna be late for your family reunion. 728 00:41:03,712 --> 00:41:04,701 Ah... 729 00:41:05,847 --> 00:41:07,815 You'll still make Kwanza. 730 00:41:09,418 --> 00:41:10,646 Kwanza? 731 00:41:11,186 --> 00:41:12,448 Oh, yeah. 732 00:41:13,121 --> 00:41:17,148 It's the national Afro-American holiday with its roots in Africa... 733 00:41:17,793 --> 00:41:22,253 celebrates among other things, unity, creativity and faith. 734 00:41:23,298 --> 00:41:25,732 I was going to celebrate with my whole family this year. 735 00:41:28,170 --> 00:41:31,867 Well, what do you say to seconds all around? 736 00:41:36,178 --> 00:41:38,976 No, thanks, Higgins, I'm really stuffed. 737 00:41:40,148 --> 00:41:43,276 Oh, no. I've been on a break too long as it is. 738 00:41:43,351 --> 00:41:45,842 I think I'll go and try and tear that voltage regulator apart... 739 00:41:45,921 --> 00:41:49,015 and see if we can get her started. Anybody wanna hold a flashlight? 740 00:41:49,090 --> 00:41:50,455 I'll do it. 741 00:41:54,162 --> 00:41:56,130 How about you, Magnum? 742 00:41:56,198 --> 00:41:59,690 I'm trying to cut back on my intake of roots and berries. 743 00:42:01,136 --> 00:42:03,798 It must be more filling than I anticipated. 744 00:42:04,039 --> 00:42:06,337 The three of you ate such meager portions. 745 00:42:08,977 --> 00:42:12,037 You don't think it was a bit... bland? 746 00:42:12,681 --> 00:42:13,739 No. 747 00:42:15,217 --> 00:42:16,912 Higgins, look... 748 00:42:19,588 --> 00:42:22,148 I kind of want to... 749 00:42:23,725 --> 00:42:25,625 apologize for before. 750 00:42:27,562 --> 00:42:31,555 Apologize? Yeah, you know. For being... 751 00:42:34,202 --> 00:42:35,692 insubordinate. 752 00:42:39,241 --> 00:42:41,607 It's quite understandable. 753 00:42:41,676 --> 00:42:44,975 I've seen it happen many times in the heat of battle, on the front... 754 00:42:45,580 --> 00:42:47,514 especially during the holidays. 755 00:42:47,883 --> 00:42:50,818 Men are more lonely then, more prone to snap. 756 00:42:52,354 --> 00:42:54,754 Your momentary lapse is quite excusable. 757 00:42:55,557 --> 00:42:58,151 I will, of course, keep it out of print. 758 00:42:59,227 --> 00:43:00,819 Out of print? 759 00:43:01,530 --> 00:43:02,895 My memoirs. 760 00:43:11,673 --> 00:43:15,837 I, of course, have spent many a Christmas away from home and family. 761 00:43:17,379 --> 00:43:19,574 More times than I care to remember... 762 00:43:19,648 --> 00:43:21,809 and in more places than I care to remember. 763 00:43:22,450 --> 00:43:26,682 Forgotten battlefields, and sometimes, even forgotten wars. 764 00:43:28,156 --> 00:43:32,149 I think being at war makes Christmas all the more bittersweet. 765 00:43:33,862 --> 00:43:37,298 Peace on earth and goodwill toward men and all that. 766 00:43:39,935 --> 00:43:41,664 I say, Magnum... 767 00:43:43,038 --> 00:43:45,768 the night NATO signal for commence firing. 768 00:43:46,241 --> 00:43:48,106 Isn't that a... 769 00:43:51,413 --> 00:43:53,813 Red flare, yellow flare, green flare. 770 00:43:53,915 --> 00:43:56,748 You don't suppose that red flare out there is a... 771 00:43:58,219 --> 00:44:00,210 Come on. T.C.! 772 00:44:01,756 --> 00:44:04,657 Recon spotted a fire on the west beach, sir. 773 00:44:04,726 --> 00:44:07,058 Damn! Some hotshot's been bobbing in our barrel. 774 00:44:07,128 --> 00:44:08,595 Blast them, Jensen. 775 00:44:08,797 --> 00:44:10,822 But, sir, they're. - Now! 776 00:44:13,301 --> 00:44:14,598 Yes, sir. 777 00:44:18,406 --> 00:44:20,636 Get ready, Thomas. Now! 778 00:44:31,753 --> 00:44:32,811 Come on, T.C. 779 00:44:32,887 --> 00:44:34,047 I'm only up to 6%%. 780 00:44:34,122 --> 00:44:36,590 I've only got enough juice in the battery for one start. 781 00:44:36,658 --> 00:44:39,821 I don't know why everyone's getting so hysterical. 782 00:44:39,894 --> 00:44:43,557 The likelihood of a direct hit is so astronomically high that- 783 00:44:43,632 --> 00:44:44,860 Higgins! 784 00:44:45,166 --> 00:44:46,793 They're at yellow now. 785 00:44:46,868 --> 00:44:48,529 We're gonna die. 786 00:44:51,806 --> 00:44:52,966 T.C.! 787 00:44:53,174 --> 00:44:55,199 Thirteen percent! That's close enough! 788 00:44:55,276 --> 00:44:57,141 No! We might melt the engine down. 789 00:44:57,212 --> 00:44:59,510 Green. My God! 790 00:45:12,494 --> 00:45:13,620 Good shot. 791 00:45:17,799 --> 00:45:20,063 First round was right on target, sir. 792 00:45:20,235 --> 00:45:21,600 Thank you, Ensign. 793 00:45:23,838 --> 00:45:25,032 Ensign? 794 00:45:27,842 --> 00:45:29,366 Merry Christmas. 795 00:45:29,978 --> 00:45:31,775 Merry Christmas, sir. 796 00:45:35,050 --> 00:45:37,245 Fifteen percent! I'm gonna light it. 797 00:45:40,922 --> 00:45:42,947 Let's get the hell out of here! 798 00:46:12,353 --> 00:46:15,686 Well, looks like those kids are gonna get to see Santa Claus after all. 799 00:46:17,692 --> 00:46:19,853 Or a reasonable facsimile. 800 00:46:20,895 --> 00:46:22,726 Merry Christmas, gentlemen. 801 00:46:23,264 --> 00:46:26,028 Merry Christmas, Higgins. You too, Rick. 802 00:46:27,569 --> 00:46:29,230 Happy Kwanza to you, T.C. 803 00:46:29,304 --> 00:46:32,296 Hey, thanks. Same to you guys. 804 00:46:32,574 --> 00:46:34,269 Aloha! 805 00:46:35,343 --> 00:46:36,605 Hey, T.C.? 806 00:46:36,911 --> 00:46:39,072 You remember what I said about my cousin, Jenny? 807 00:46:39,147 --> 00:46:40,307 Yeah. 808 00:46:41,249 --> 00:46:42,682 Well, I was just kidding. 809 00:46:46,688 --> 00:46:49,122 ♪ Silent night ♪ 810 00:46:51,893 --> 00:46:54,885 ♪ Holy night ♪ 811 00:46:56,431 --> 00:46:59,423 ♪ All is calm ♪ 812 00:47:00,168 --> 00:47:03,831 ♪ All is bright ♪ 813 00:47:04,439 --> 00:47:09,376 ♪ Round yon Virgin Mother and Child ♪