1 00:00:02,407 --> 00:00:05,501 Somewhere on this island, they have buried $1 million. 2 00:00:05,577 --> 00:00:07,135 They are conducting a treasure hunt... 3 00:00:07,212 --> 00:00:09,646 Buried on this island? A million dollars? 4 00:00:10,916 --> 00:00:12,349 Take the chest and keep going. 5 00:00:12,417 --> 00:00:15,284 You really think someone's going to come after you to get to the clues? 6 00:00:15,354 --> 00:00:16,582 (SCREAMlNG) 7 00:00:19,124 --> 00:00:20,489 (SCREAMlNG) 8 00:00:20,559 --> 00:00:23,392 Dig! Let's go. Dig! All right! 9 00:00:23,495 --> 00:00:24,484 (SCREAMlNG) 10 00:00:24,563 --> 00:00:25,552 That was a bat. 11 00:00:25,630 --> 00:00:27,791 I guess I'm a real neurotic mess, anyway. 12 00:00:27,866 --> 00:00:30,767 Let's just try and make the best of the rest of the treasure hunt, okay? 13 00:00:30,836 --> 00:00:31,825 (SCREAMlNG) 14 00:01:56,054 --> 00:01:58,682 MAN: Jump. All of you. 15 00:01:58,757 --> 00:02:00,349 You can't be serious. 16 00:02:00,425 --> 00:02:01,449 Down there? 17 00:02:01,526 --> 00:02:02,959 In the water? 18 00:02:03,028 --> 00:02:04,893 In the water. 19 00:02:04,963 --> 00:02:09,093 Look, guys, I think there's room for discussion here. Why don't we... 20 00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:11,692 No. No more talk. We're through talking. 21 00:02:11,770 --> 00:02:14,637 Everybody over the side, in the drink. 22 00:02:14,706 --> 00:02:17,675 Come on. I mean, we're all rational human beings. 23 00:02:17,776 --> 00:02:19,937 I mean, why don't we try and work something out? 24 00:02:20,011 --> 00:02:22,605 After all, there's more than enough to go around here. 25 00:02:22,681 --> 00:02:24,342 WOMAN: Not necessarily. 26 00:02:26,418 --> 00:02:29,854 Everyone stay exactly as you are. 27 00:02:30,255 --> 00:02:34,555 The Great Treasure of Kalaniopu'u Treasure Hunt is history. 28 00:02:38,964 --> 00:02:41,694 Time for the grand finale, right now. 29 00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:44,966 MAGNUM: I suppose you're all wondering how we got into this mess. 30 00:02:45,036 --> 00:02:46,060 A fair question. 31 00:02:46,137 --> 00:02:49,072 Well, it all started a very long time ago. 32 00:02:49,140 --> 00:02:51,574 In the year 1759, to be exact. 33 00:02:51,676 --> 00:02:54,201 And someplace right around here. 34 00:02:55,514 --> 00:02:57,675 Move! Blast ye! 35 00:03:02,087 --> 00:03:05,147 The heathen Kalaniopu'u is upon us. Come on, faster. 36 00:03:05,390 --> 00:03:07,790 Aye, Captain Dawkins. Aye. 37 00:03:20,205 --> 00:03:21,832 DAWKlNS: Come on now, boys, let's run. 38 00:03:34,286 --> 00:03:36,049 Faster, me boys. 39 00:03:47,599 --> 00:03:49,260 Come on, boys. 40 00:04:05,183 --> 00:04:07,583 You and you, take the chest and keep going. 41 00:04:07,719 --> 00:04:10,244 We'll rendezvous at the Cave of the Wild Boar where waits Reverend Brown. 42 00:04:10,322 --> 00:04:12,119 And Maggie. 43 00:04:12,190 --> 00:04:14,818 Aye, Maggie. 44 00:04:14,926 --> 00:04:16,917 But, Captain, what about you? 45 00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:19,725 Here we'll stand. Go! 46 00:04:26,938 --> 00:04:30,203 Gentlemen, load your muskets. 47 00:04:54,899 --> 00:04:56,867 Send them to hell! 48 00:04:58,770 --> 00:05:01,967 MAGNUM: A real cliffhanger. But considering what happened next, 49 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,974 I'd have to say that Captain Dawkins 50 00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:06,704 and his band of pirates may have been the lucky ones. 51 00:05:06,778 --> 00:05:10,077 After all, they were just fiction. Everything else was reality. 52 00:05:10,281 --> 00:05:11,270 (KNOCKlNG) 53 00:05:11,783 --> 00:05:15,879 HlGGlNS: Magnum. I say, Magnum. 54 00:05:16,821 --> 00:05:18,482 MAGNUM: Sort of. 55 00:05:32,337 --> 00:05:34,805 Why don't you knock? 56 00:05:34,873 --> 00:05:37,808 Knock? I veritably tore the door from its hinges 57 00:05:37,876 --> 00:05:41,573 in a vain attempt at civilized entry. You are late. 58 00:05:41,646 --> 00:05:43,409 Late? Late where? 59 00:05:43,481 --> 00:05:46,177 To the Kalanianaole Pavilion on the Windward Coast. 60 00:05:47,719 --> 00:05:49,209 The what? 61 00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:55,685 Higgins, come on, I had a rough six hours at the university last night. 62 00:05:55,794 --> 00:06:00,288 No doubt with that overeager, underaged coed you've been seeing. 63 00:06:00,365 --> 00:06:05,064 That overeager, underaged coed is my tutor. 64 00:06:05,136 --> 00:06:06,626 Spare me the euphemism. 65 00:06:06,705 --> 00:06:08,070 She is! 66 00:06:08,139 --> 00:06:10,198 In what subject? Advanced debauchery? 67 00:06:10,275 --> 00:06:12,209 Business administration. 68 00:06:13,445 --> 00:06:14,844 Dear me. Whatever for? 69 00:06:14,913 --> 00:06:16,710 To improve the economic side of my business. 70 00:06:16,781 --> 00:06:19,409 Never mind. Why are you here and what am I late for? 71 00:06:19,517 --> 00:06:22,816 I'm here about The Treasure of Kalaniopu'u. 72 00:06:22,887 --> 00:06:26,186 That's my copy. I bought and paid for it with my own money. 73 00:06:26,825 --> 00:06:28,884 It seems that Robin Masters' publishing company 74 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,326 has come up with a cheap gimmick 75 00:06:31,396 --> 00:06:33,296 unworthy of Mr. Masters, in my opinion, 76 00:06:33,398 --> 00:06:35,263 to increase the paperback sales of The Treasure. 77 00:06:35,333 --> 00:06:37,062 Oh, well, I did my part. 78 00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:40,798 Somewhere on this island they have buried $1 million. 79 00:06:40,872 --> 00:06:43,602 As did the character Captain Dawkins in the novel. 80 00:06:43,675 --> 00:06:44,937 And they are conducting a treasure hunt 81 00:06:45,009 --> 00:06:47,637 based on the incidents in the book to spur sales. 82 00:06:47,712 --> 00:06:49,043 A million dollars? 83 00:06:49,114 --> 00:06:50,706 A mere write-off for them. 84 00:06:50,782 --> 00:06:51,771 A million dollars? 85 00:06:51,850 --> 00:06:54,842 And in the long run much more valuable with the expected increase in sales 86 00:06:54,919 --> 00:06:57,410 plus a potential motion picture. Be that as it may... 87 00:06:57,489 --> 00:06:59,684 Buried on this island? A million dollars? 88 00:06:59,758 --> 00:07:03,159 Be that as it may, you have been volunteered by Mr. Masters, 89 00:07:03,228 --> 00:07:06,425 who, I might add, finds the whole thing as unseemly as I do 90 00:07:06,498 --> 00:07:09,194 and has fled indefinitely to the south of France 91 00:07:09,267 --> 00:07:12,634 to coordinate this charade with a representative from the publishing company. 92 00:07:12,704 --> 00:07:16,367 Boy, think of the tax problems I'm gonna have, Higgins. 93 00:07:16,441 --> 00:07:18,204 Think of your duty, Magnum. Huh? 94 00:07:18,276 --> 00:07:20,710 Your tax problems are irrelevant. 95 00:07:20,812 --> 00:07:22,780 Why? If I find a million dollars... 96 00:07:22,847 --> 00:07:24,109 Have you not heard a word I've said? 97 00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:26,742 You are an employee of Mr. Masters in this venture. 98 00:07:26,885 --> 00:07:29,217 You are, therefore, not eligible. 99 00:07:30,822 --> 00:07:32,380 Not eligible? 100 00:07:32,457 --> 00:07:33,719 And late. 101 00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:37,627 AMY: Very late, Mr. Magnum. 102 00:07:37,695 --> 00:07:40,892 I trust this isn't a harbinger of your future work habits. 103 00:07:41,733 --> 00:07:43,462 Thirty-nine down. What? 104 00:07:43,535 --> 00:07:46,163 "Something that foreshadows or presages what is to come." 105 00:07:46,237 --> 00:07:48,068 Last Sunday's New York Times crossword puzzle. 106 00:07:48,139 --> 00:07:49,401 Thirty-nine down. Harbinger. 107 00:07:49,474 --> 00:07:50,839 You probably cheated. 108 00:07:50,909 --> 00:07:53,377 Why do you need our medical insurance? 109 00:07:53,444 --> 00:07:55,708 In case anything happens. 110 00:07:55,847 --> 00:07:57,109 I did not cheat, Miss... 111 00:07:57,182 --> 00:08:01,812 Ms. Griswald. Amy. Mount Kisco, New York. 112 00:08:01,986 --> 00:08:04,181 And I bet you did cheat. 113 00:08:04,255 --> 00:08:06,655 Well, we'll never know, will we? 114 00:08:06,724 --> 00:08:09,818 What I would like to know is what my "future work habits" entail. 115 00:08:09,894 --> 00:08:13,455 You know, consist of. Be consistent with. Inevitably involve. 116 00:08:13,531 --> 00:08:16,500 Oh, I don't think he cheated, Ms. Griswald. 117 00:08:16,568 --> 00:08:18,695 Yes, thank you. Good luck. 118 00:08:19,404 --> 00:08:21,838 What your job inevitably involves, Mr. Magnum, 119 00:08:21,906 --> 00:08:25,171 is helping me keep this treasure hunt honest. 120 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:27,006 Fine. Honest. 121 00:08:27,078 --> 00:08:30,275 Yo, Thomas! Where do I sign up? 122 00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:37,744 Ah. Wow, this is great. One million simoleons. 123 00:08:37,822 --> 00:08:40,222 And all I gotta do is read this here pirate book. 124 00:08:40,291 --> 00:08:42,088 Rick, I think you're gonna have to do more than just read it. 125 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:43,889 You're gonna have to read into it. 126 00:08:44,028 --> 00:08:47,122 You are required to take 225-year-old clues 127 00:08:47,198 --> 00:08:50,634 and translate that into a search throughout modern Oahu. 128 00:08:50,702 --> 00:08:53,170 Starting here, the site of the pagan sacrifice, 129 00:08:53,238 --> 00:08:55,433 as so colorfully depicted in the novel. 130 00:08:55,506 --> 00:08:58,998 Yeah, right. Pagan sacrifice, great stuff. Here, baby. 131 00:08:59,143 --> 00:09:01,407 Rick, I don't think this is going to be that easy. 132 00:09:01,479 --> 00:09:04,277 Who cares? I have a plan. 133 00:09:05,650 --> 00:09:07,117 They all do. 134 00:09:08,586 --> 00:09:10,645 It is kind of silly, isn't it? 135 00:09:10,722 --> 00:09:12,656 Kind of? 136 00:09:12,724 --> 00:09:15,158 I think it's absolutely the most foolish stunt 137 00:09:15,226 --> 00:09:18,593 to hit the literary world since the Howard Hughes will. 138 00:09:18,696 --> 00:09:21,688 I know that I did not torturously apply myself 139 00:09:21,766 --> 00:09:23,290 to the taskmasters at Bennington, 140 00:09:23,368 --> 00:09:26,201 then slave in the publishing houses along Madison Avenue 141 00:09:26,337 --> 00:09:30,171 for the past 10 years to wind up doing... Doing this. 142 00:09:31,342 --> 00:09:35,745 I'd rather be undertaking what I've been trained to do, editing Norman Mailer. 143 00:09:36,047 --> 00:09:37,912 With a saber, of course. 144 00:09:37,982 --> 00:09:40,473 MAN: Or what about a scalpel? 145 00:09:40,551 --> 00:09:41,745 MAGNUM: Doc lbold? 146 00:09:41,819 --> 00:09:44,185 Why not? I could make very good use of that money. 147 00:09:44,255 --> 00:09:46,280 I can buy a new set of golf clubs. 148 00:09:46,391 --> 00:09:48,256 And I shall swear to my patients 149 00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:51,124 that I'll only hunt for that treasure on Wednesdays and weekends. 150 00:09:51,262 --> 00:09:53,492 Hey, like, I'm curious. Are there, like, other prizes 151 00:09:53,564 --> 00:09:55,964 for finding most of the clues or something? Like... 152 00:09:56,034 --> 00:09:57,934 Like a computer? 153 00:09:58,002 --> 00:09:59,902 It's all or nothing, young man. 154 00:09:59,971 --> 00:10:01,962 Oh, okay. 155 00:10:02,707 --> 00:10:05,175 Hey, like, I'm also curious, Ms. Griswald. 156 00:10:05,243 --> 00:10:08,610 I mean, what am l supposed to be doing here? Protecting you? 157 00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:11,547 I mean, because you know where all the clues are and the treasure's hidden, right? 158 00:10:11,616 --> 00:10:12,981 Wrong. 159 00:10:13,051 --> 00:10:15,212 I trust your mental deductions in your chosen field 160 00:10:15,286 --> 00:10:17,379 aren't as haphazardly thought out as those 161 00:10:17,455 --> 00:10:20,015 or you'd probably be bumming off the good graces of Robin Masters 162 00:10:20,091 --> 00:10:22,116 instead of working. 163 00:10:22,193 --> 00:10:24,093 Now, the clues will be sent to me one at a time 164 00:10:24,162 --> 00:10:26,722 by the prestigious accounting firm of Fletcher and Kilroy 165 00:10:26,798 --> 00:10:29,528 in New York to insure my safety. 166 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,967 And honesty. I mean, it's just a haphazard deduction. 167 00:10:33,504 --> 00:10:34,835 Listen, I'll see you, Thomas. 168 00:10:34,939 --> 00:10:36,770 Oh, bye, Doc. 169 00:10:36,975 --> 00:10:39,967 Good morning. Good morning. Good morning, Mr. Magnum. 170 00:10:40,078 --> 00:10:42,046 I'm here to become rich and famous, 171 00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:44,774 along with my lovely and charming partner. 172 00:10:44,849 --> 00:10:46,282 Hi. Cards are over there. 173 00:10:46,351 --> 00:10:48,546 Oh. Hi, I'm Thomas Magnum. I don't think we've met. 174 00:10:48,619 --> 00:10:49,643 Donna Clemens. 175 00:10:49,721 --> 00:10:51,552 I teach literature over at the university. 176 00:10:51,622 --> 00:10:53,681 AMY: (SCOFFlNG) This is hardly literature. 177 00:10:54,892 --> 00:10:58,191 Well, good luck. I think the contest starts in about... 178 00:10:58,262 --> 00:10:59,752 Exactly 12:00. 179 00:10:59,831 --> 00:11:01,389 Great. Great. 180 00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:06,930 And we will be ready. Research materials. 181 00:11:07,138 --> 00:11:10,699 We'll be right back with these cards. My dear. 182 00:11:13,344 --> 00:11:14,811 Safety. 183 00:11:14,879 --> 00:11:18,474 You really think someone's going to come after you to get to the clues? 184 00:11:18,549 --> 00:11:21,643 Who knows? And who the hell cares? 185 00:11:21,786 --> 00:11:26,086 Excuse me. Doug Fenwick and Terry Dobbs, direct from Beantown. 186 00:11:28,459 --> 00:11:31,394 We're here to sign up for the treasure hunt. 187 00:11:32,296 --> 00:11:36,096 ALL: 10, 9, 8, 7, 188 00:11:36,167 --> 00:11:41,366 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. 189 00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:42,428 (FlRES) 190 00:11:42,573 --> 00:11:44,632 (ALL SHOUTlNG) 191 00:11:51,416 --> 00:11:55,910 Oh, Jonathan, isn't this jolly good fun? 192 00:12:00,191 --> 00:12:02,182 Well, they're off and running. 193 00:12:02,260 --> 00:12:05,024 In pursuit of the quintessential sucker's bet. 194 00:12:05,797 --> 00:12:07,526 Why? One of them's gonna win. 195 00:12:07,598 --> 00:12:11,329 And the rest? I reiterate, Magnum. This is dumb. 196 00:12:13,304 --> 00:12:14,999 MAGNUM: Well, it wasn't Robin's idea. 197 00:12:15,306 --> 00:12:16,295 Maybe. 198 00:12:16,374 --> 00:12:19,309 But if he were a serious novelist addressing the human condition 199 00:12:19,377 --> 00:12:21,345 in an incisive and intellectual manner, 200 00:12:21,412 --> 00:12:24,142 we certainly wouldn't be here doing this. 201 00:12:24,916 --> 00:12:26,406 At least, I wouldn't be here. 202 00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:29,885 Well, maybe Robin is addressing the human condition. 203 00:12:29,954 --> 00:12:31,854 Yes? How so? 204 00:12:31,923 --> 00:12:33,982 What bleak aspect of human nature 205 00:12:34,058 --> 00:12:37,824 is Robin Masters exploring in The Treasure of Kalaniopu'u? 206 00:12:37,895 --> 00:12:39,362 Greed. 207 00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:43,433 Well, where to, Ms. Griswald? 208 00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:46,402 The Blue Coral Reef Hotel near downtown. 209 00:12:46,471 --> 00:12:48,564 That's the vicinity of the first clue. 210 00:12:48,639 --> 00:12:51,039 You happen to know where that eminent hostelry might be? 211 00:12:51,109 --> 00:12:52,906 Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. 212 00:12:52,977 --> 00:12:55,172 Robin and I had lunch there when I was chauffeuring him around, 213 00:12:55,246 --> 00:12:56,804 scouting locations for this book. 214 00:12:56,881 --> 00:12:58,280 Oh, how droll. 215 00:12:58,349 --> 00:12:59,839 Shall we, then? 216 00:13:03,588 --> 00:13:04,782 Bye, guys. 217 00:13:06,991 --> 00:13:10,688 MAGNUM: And so, the Great Treasure of Kalaniopu'u Treasure Hunt was on. 218 00:13:11,229 --> 00:13:13,697 And the great literary flash from Mount Kisco and I 219 00:13:13,798 --> 00:13:16,858 were off running on a road straight to a million. 220 00:13:17,001 --> 00:13:21,597 But for some of the others, this road might prove to be a little more serpentine. 221 00:13:23,474 --> 00:13:24,600 How you doing? 222 00:13:24,675 --> 00:13:25,767 Close. 223 00:13:25,843 --> 00:13:26,832 To the treasure? 224 00:13:27,278 --> 00:13:30,338 No. To figuring out the first clue. 225 00:13:30,414 --> 00:13:31,938 What I can't understand is 226 00:13:32,049 --> 00:13:35,143 why we just can't skip all this clue stuff 227 00:13:35,219 --> 00:13:37,414 and go straight to where the treasure's buried. 228 00:13:37,488 --> 00:13:38,512 Because, if you had read the book... 229 00:13:38,589 --> 00:13:43,049 I read the book. I've read all of Robin Masters' books. 230 00:13:43,127 --> 00:13:45,652 And Mad Buck Gibson and Tolstoy. 231 00:13:45,730 --> 00:13:49,325 But that still doesn't tell me how come we just can't zip to the treasure, 232 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,698 skip all this clue and other stuff. 233 00:13:51,769 --> 00:13:54,237 Because we have to substantiate to Amy Griswald 234 00:13:54,305 --> 00:13:58,036 and to Magnum that we did in fact figure out all the clues. 235 00:13:58,176 --> 00:14:01,043 You know, where we need to start is that Hawaiian village 236 00:14:01,112 --> 00:14:03,444 that Dawkins and his crew found when they first landed. 237 00:14:03,514 --> 00:14:05,539 Okay, okay, where is it? 238 00:14:05,616 --> 00:14:08,176 That's what I'm trying to figure out if you'll let me. 239 00:14:08,252 --> 00:14:09,480 Okay, okay, okay. 240 00:14:09,554 --> 00:14:11,249 Okay. Listen to this. 241 00:14:11,322 --> 00:14:14,120 "The high priest Kalaniopu'u's village 242 00:14:14,192 --> 00:14:17,923 "was nestled in a beach alcove surrounded by a peaceful placid harbor 243 00:14:17,995 --> 00:14:20,964 "large enough to accommodate Captain Dawkins' three masters..." 244 00:14:21,098 --> 00:14:22,656 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Fisherman's Wharf. 245 00:14:22,733 --> 00:14:24,064 Fisherman's Wharf. Go on, go on, go on. All right! 246 00:14:24,135 --> 00:14:27,104 "lt was guarded by an ancient banyan tree that rose majestically..." 247 00:14:27,171 --> 00:14:29,469 Oh! The Federal Building. Ha! Let's go. 248 00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:32,907 All right. Don't drive fast enough to get us killed. 249 00:14:32,977 --> 00:14:35,036 (HOOTlNG) 250 00:14:41,352 --> 00:14:42,649 DONNA: Slow down. 251 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:45,553 T.C.: We'll have all of our lives to slow down. 252 00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:04,173 Watch it. 253 00:15:05,343 --> 00:15:07,834 Do you have to be so clumsy? 254 00:15:08,546 --> 00:15:10,275 Très élégant. 255 00:15:11,282 --> 00:15:13,477 Well, fortunately, we'll only have to endure 256 00:15:13,551 --> 00:15:15,576 this deplorable situation one night. 257 00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:17,086 Then what? 258 00:15:17,154 --> 00:15:19,054 We go to where the next clue takes us. 259 00:15:19,123 --> 00:15:20,181 Where's that? Would you... Shh! 260 00:15:20,258 --> 00:15:22,158 Will you please give me some credit? 261 00:15:22,226 --> 00:15:23,625 Fine, but give me some credit, too. 262 00:15:23,694 --> 00:15:24,854 We are a team, aren't we? 263 00:15:24,929 --> 00:15:26,590 We are not a team. 264 00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:30,065 I am the supervisor of this contest. You are working for me. 265 00:15:30,134 --> 00:15:32,602 Your job is to keep away the weirdoes and the kooks. 266 00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:35,400 Oh, okay, I can see how that could be a problem. Watch it! 267 00:15:35,473 --> 00:15:36,462 (CHUCKLlNG) 268 00:15:37,275 --> 00:15:41,177 Look, look, I can't tell you where the specific clue sites are. 269 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:45,206 There's no need for you to know. There is a need to protect me. 270 00:15:45,783 --> 00:15:48,183 So, come on, let's just get registered. 271 00:15:50,921 --> 00:15:52,513 Ms. Griswald. 272 00:15:57,161 --> 00:16:00,289 Here you are, 201 2, the honeymoon suite. 273 00:16:01,465 --> 00:16:02,989 You're hardly serious. 274 00:16:03,067 --> 00:16:04,534 It's on the computer. 275 00:16:04,602 --> 00:16:06,365 I think you made a mistake there. 276 00:16:06,437 --> 00:16:08,837 No mistake. It's on the computer. 277 00:16:08,906 --> 00:16:11,374 I don't care if it's etched in Paleolithic granite, 278 00:16:11,442 --> 00:16:13,342 this is clearly unacceptable. 279 00:16:13,644 --> 00:16:17,410 We are supposed to have adjoining but separate rooms. 280 00:16:17,481 --> 00:16:19,108 You're not married? 281 00:16:19,183 --> 00:16:21,117 BOTH: No! 282 00:16:22,053 --> 00:16:24,214 Look, Mr. Kono, 283 00:16:24,422 --> 00:16:27,323 my company made these reservations three weeks ago. 284 00:16:27,391 --> 00:16:28,653 Two rooms. 285 00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:30,387 Maybe the computer did make a mistake. 286 00:16:30,461 --> 00:16:32,326 The computer does not make mistakes. 287 00:16:32,463 --> 00:16:35,364 Maybe you made a mistake. I know I did. 288 00:16:36,167 --> 00:16:38,465 I'm terribly sorry, but it'd be very difficult to move you 289 00:16:38,536 --> 00:16:40,595 as there's a whole convention staying here. 290 00:16:40,671 --> 00:16:43,572 The Royal Order of Water Buffaloes from Dayton, Ohio. 291 00:16:44,008 --> 00:16:45,066 You're kidding. 292 00:16:45,142 --> 00:16:46,234 No, ma'am. 293 00:16:48,212 --> 00:16:51,181 Well, then move them! Now! 294 00:16:51,248 --> 00:16:55,617 Or I'll have this place reduced to rubble! Rubble! Do you hear me? 295 00:16:56,187 --> 00:16:57,779 Maybe we can work something out. 296 00:16:57,855 --> 00:16:59,220 You'd better. 297 00:17:04,395 --> 00:17:07,296 Hey, pal, you can have my room. 298 00:17:08,733 --> 00:17:12,692 I wouldn't wish that on anyone, even my worst enemy. 299 00:17:14,939 --> 00:17:17,931 Come on, Magnum, on your feet. Everything is taken care of. 300 00:17:18,008 --> 00:17:20,704 Now all we have to do is find the damn place. 301 00:17:24,648 --> 00:17:26,138 Listen, I know it's here somewhere. 302 00:17:26,217 --> 00:17:27,809 KlKA: Hey, you'd better find it, brah, 303 00:17:27,885 --> 00:17:30,080 otherwise we'll be out a cool million, you know? 304 00:17:30,154 --> 00:17:31,985 And that'll be the end of our beautiful partnership. 305 00:17:32,056 --> 00:17:33,785 I got it. 306 00:17:37,461 --> 00:17:39,053 Hey, listen, Kika, are you sure 307 00:17:39,130 --> 00:17:40,392 that we're headed in the right direction? 308 00:17:40,464 --> 00:17:41,624 Of course I'm sure, Doc. 309 00:17:41,732 --> 00:17:43,222 (LAUGHlNG) 310 00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:47,031 The village of Kalaniopu'u is the village of my ancestors. 311 00:17:47,104 --> 00:17:48,867 Yeah, the village of your ancestors 312 00:17:48,939 --> 00:17:51,965 has not been in existence for some 200 years. 313 00:17:54,945 --> 00:17:57,675 We Hawaiians have a great oral tradition. 314 00:17:58,916 --> 00:18:02,784 Well, I hope that this haole and this Hawaiian have a terrific future. 315 00:18:05,423 --> 00:18:08,950 Hey, listen, Kika, what are you gonna do with all that money? 316 00:18:09,093 --> 00:18:11,357 Are you gonna buy out the petty cab industry? 317 00:18:11,429 --> 00:18:12,487 (LAUGHlNG) 318 00:18:12,563 --> 00:18:14,656 Are you kidding, man? I'm gonna live! 319 00:18:16,634 --> 00:18:20,536 No more peddling around those over-sized tricycles, you know, all over town. 320 00:18:20,638 --> 00:18:24,165 Hey, I'm gonna be like Magnum, you know. My own estate. 321 00:18:24,308 --> 00:18:28,506 My own red sports car. Maybe I'll become a Pl, too. 322 00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:34,546 Hey, Doc, you and me are gonna go downtown, find that cash 323 00:18:35,152 --> 00:18:36,847 and live like kings. 324 00:18:37,021 --> 00:18:38,249 Like King Kamehameha, huh? 325 00:18:38,322 --> 00:18:39,414 You got it. 326 00:18:39,490 --> 00:18:41,424 All right, this is fun. Let's go. 327 00:18:44,328 --> 00:18:46,922 MAGNUM: If they only knew what fun I was really having. 328 00:18:46,997 --> 00:18:49,864 I mean, it was bad enough being stuck doing this silly job 329 00:18:49,934 --> 00:18:52,425 with the supercilious Amy Griswald, 330 00:18:52,570 --> 00:18:55,630 but I was also missing the Detroit-Toronto game 331 00:18:55,706 --> 00:18:57,196 which was being beamed at this very moment 332 00:18:57,274 --> 00:19:00,209 Iive and direct from Canada via satellite 333 00:19:00,277 --> 00:19:03,838 to Robin's new dish and my comfortable old guest house. 334 00:19:03,914 --> 00:19:06,246 My options here were sadly more limited. 335 00:19:06,317 --> 00:19:09,878 (WOODY WOODPECKER LAUGHING) 336 00:19:09,954 --> 00:19:11,922 And, so far, I was really having a hard time 337 00:19:11,989 --> 00:19:14,856 figuring out what I was really supposed to be doing. 338 00:19:14,959 --> 00:19:17,928 I knew we were in the general vicinity of the first clue, 339 00:19:17,995 --> 00:19:22,295 but Ms. Griswald refused to even tell me specifically where it was. 340 00:19:22,366 --> 00:19:25,665 As if I even cared, not being eligible anyway. 341 00:19:27,004 --> 00:19:29,768 It was the kind of evening where I even found myself 342 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,799 rooting for Woody to fall out of his tree. 343 00:19:34,812 --> 00:19:35,972 (DOOR OPENS) 344 00:19:44,688 --> 00:19:46,952 Ms. Griswald? 345 00:19:47,024 --> 00:19:48,252 (AMY SCREAMS) 346 00:19:52,329 --> 00:19:53,318 Amy. 347 00:19:53,397 --> 00:19:54,864 (AMY SCREAMS) 348 00:19:57,902 --> 00:19:59,233 Oh. 349 00:20:04,742 --> 00:20:05,766 You okay? 350 00:20:05,843 --> 00:20:06,867 (SCREAMS) 351 00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:07,968 No! It's me, it's me. It's me. 352 00:20:08,045 --> 00:20:10,912 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's okay. 353 00:20:10,981 --> 00:20:12,073 (EXCLAlMS) 354 00:20:12,149 --> 00:20:13,377 You okay? 355 00:20:13,450 --> 00:20:17,181 Yeah, yeah. Physically. Physically, yes. 356 00:20:18,055 --> 00:20:20,523 Emotionally, psychologically, 357 00:20:20,591 --> 00:20:23,583 (WATER RUNNlNG) and in terms of every woman's angst, no. 358 00:20:28,232 --> 00:20:29,221 (SCREAMS) 359 00:20:29,366 --> 00:20:31,561 No, no, you're fine, you're fine. 360 00:20:32,703 --> 00:20:33,931 It's okay. Yeah. 361 00:20:35,105 --> 00:20:36,538 All right? Yeah. 362 00:20:36,607 --> 00:20:38,199 What happened? 363 00:20:40,277 --> 00:20:43,644 Two intruders broke in and tried to steal the first clue. 364 00:20:43,747 --> 00:20:45,214 Did they get it? 365 00:20:45,282 --> 00:20:48,308 (SCOFFS) It's all right here. 366 00:20:51,956 --> 00:20:54,447 Well, that's just great. That's great. 367 00:20:55,759 --> 00:20:57,750 How am I supposed to protect the integrity of this contest, 368 00:20:57,828 --> 00:21:00,695 not to mention you, if you don't confide in me? 369 00:21:00,831 --> 00:21:04,562 You're right. This is all getting too weird. 370 00:21:06,837 --> 00:21:08,964 Okay, I'll tell you where it is. 371 00:21:09,039 --> 00:21:10,233 Great. 372 00:21:10,307 --> 00:21:13,470 But you've also got to tell me one thing. 373 00:21:13,544 --> 00:21:14,772 What? 374 00:21:16,614 --> 00:21:19,139 Just where the hell do you expect me to sleep tonight? 375 00:21:24,455 --> 00:21:26,116 MAGNUM: Amy was only half right. 376 00:21:26,190 --> 00:21:27,987 Not only were things getting "too weird, " 377 00:21:28,058 --> 00:21:30,322 they were also getting too dangerous. 378 00:21:30,394 --> 00:21:32,624 And it wasn't only her I was concerned about. 379 00:21:32,696 --> 00:21:35,221 All my friends were involved, too. 380 00:21:36,266 --> 00:21:38,131 T.C.: Okay. It's here. 381 00:21:38,702 --> 00:21:39,964 Where? 382 00:21:40,037 --> 00:21:43,404 You'd really need a bulldozer to dig up all this cement. 383 00:21:44,408 --> 00:21:46,273 Not necessarily. 384 00:21:47,144 --> 00:21:49,305 The majestic banyan tree. 385 00:21:55,185 --> 00:21:57,210 Deeper. 386 00:21:57,287 --> 00:22:00,381 Any deeper and we're talking China here. 387 00:22:20,177 --> 00:22:21,940 We found it. We did it. 388 00:22:22,012 --> 00:22:23,206 (SHUSHlNG) 389 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,646 They'll hear you. Let's have a look. 390 00:22:31,121 --> 00:22:36,491 T.C.: Well, great. We found it, but what does it mean? 391 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:38,289 DONNA: I think I know what it means. 392 00:22:39,763 --> 00:22:40,889 I think I know. 393 00:22:40,964 --> 00:22:41,953 Well, what? What? 394 00:22:47,004 --> 00:22:48,699 Hi. 395 00:22:50,074 --> 00:22:51,735 What are you doing? What are you doing here? T.C. 396 00:22:51,809 --> 00:22:54,403 Take it easy. The same as you are. I'm after the treasure. 397 00:22:54,478 --> 00:22:57,311 You followed us! I thought you had a plan. 398 00:22:57,948 --> 00:23:01,440 Yeah, that's it. I can live on a third of a million bucks real easy. 399 00:23:01,518 --> 00:23:02,917 Now let's cover this boulder up 400 00:23:02,986 --> 00:23:04,613 before someone else knows where to find it. 401 00:23:04,688 --> 00:23:07,213 No, no you can't. That's one of the rules of the contest. 402 00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:10,488 You can't alter or disfigure an exposed clue or you're disqualified. 403 00:23:10,994 --> 00:23:12,655 I'm going to alter and disfigure him. 404 00:23:12,730 --> 00:23:15,995 Just take it easy, you can't. We're friends and now we're partners. 405 00:23:20,037 --> 00:23:22,096 Oh, we're history. 406 00:23:29,913 --> 00:23:32,040 You're under arrest for destruction of public property. 407 00:23:56,373 --> 00:23:57,431 You're relieved, Officer. 408 00:23:57,508 --> 00:24:00,602 Downtown wants us to cordon off the area. 409 00:24:00,711 --> 00:24:01,973 Right. Mahalo. 410 00:24:31,542 --> 00:24:34,409 MAGNUM: So far, it wasn't a particularly auspicious night 411 00:24:34,478 --> 00:24:38,881 nor an auspicious beginning for the Great Treasure of Kalaniopu'u Treasure Hunt. 412 00:24:38,949 --> 00:24:41,110 I mean, spending the night folded up on my couch 413 00:24:41,185 --> 00:24:44,313 while Amy Griswald slept peacefully in my bed, 414 00:24:44,388 --> 00:24:46,356 no doubt dreaming dreams of what she'd like to do 415 00:24:46,423 --> 00:24:49,517 to Norman Mailer and Ernest Hemingway, was not my idea of fun. 416 00:24:49,693 --> 00:24:52,423 But I suppose where Rick, T. C. and Donna spent theirs 417 00:24:52,496 --> 00:24:54,396 wasn't a night at the Ritz either. 418 00:24:54,464 --> 00:24:56,125 RlCK: Come on, Lieutenant, you gotta let us out of here. 419 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:57,724 You don't know what's at stake. 420 00:24:57,801 --> 00:25:01,134 What's at stake is eight hours of sleep down the drain. Mine. 421 00:25:01,205 --> 00:25:03,503 But, Lieutenant, we're talking about a million bucks. 422 00:25:03,607 --> 00:25:08,135 Look, Lieutenant, we'll cut you in for 100 big ones. 423 00:25:08,212 --> 00:25:09,509 Rick. 424 00:25:11,849 --> 00:25:14,647 All right. A quarter. You're an equal partner. 425 00:25:14,852 --> 00:25:18,754 I'm a homicide investigator. Now, why did you ask to see me? 426 00:25:19,323 --> 00:25:21,348 Because you're the only cop we know. 427 00:25:21,425 --> 00:25:24,258 And we'd like to consider you our friend. 428 00:25:24,494 --> 00:25:28,931 And even though I've only personally known you for a short period of time, 429 00:25:29,099 --> 00:25:32,865 it's real easy to see you're a man of grace and literary sensitivity. 430 00:25:32,936 --> 00:25:35,063 And we knew once everything was explained to you, 431 00:25:35,138 --> 00:25:36,127 you'd understand. 432 00:25:36,206 --> 00:25:37,537 And let us go. 433 00:25:37,608 --> 00:25:39,599 Please, don't try to con me. 434 00:25:39,710 --> 00:25:42,201 I've been conned by the best, like your friend, Magnum. 435 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:46,577 And I have to say this, the three of you are rank amateurs. 436 00:25:46,650 --> 00:25:49,210 So I take it you're not letting us go? 437 00:25:49,286 --> 00:25:50,776 You destroyed private property. 438 00:25:50,854 --> 00:25:54,085 You're liable for damages and so is the publishing company. 439 00:25:54,157 --> 00:25:57,285 You got to know that this is going on your records. 440 00:25:57,394 --> 00:25:58,418 And furthermore... 441 00:25:58,495 --> 00:25:59,484 (PHONE RlNGlNG) 442 00:26:00,163 --> 00:26:01,357 Tanaka. 443 00:26:02,299 --> 00:26:03,288 Oh. 444 00:26:05,869 --> 00:26:08,303 Right. No problem. 445 00:26:08,872 --> 00:26:10,499 You're free to go. 446 00:26:10,641 --> 00:26:12,233 How come? 447 00:26:12,309 --> 00:26:13,936 Apparently, there was a misunderstanding. 448 00:26:14,011 --> 00:26:16,241 The federal authorities were aware of the boulder 449 00:26:16,313 --> 00:26:19,248 and gave the treasure hunt people permission. 450 00:26:19,449 --> 00:26:22,577 Only thing was, the anonymous passerby who called us didn't know that. 451 00:26:22,953 --> 00:26:24,250 So, good night. Good night. 452 00:26:24,354 --> 00:26:25,753 Mahalo, Lieutenant. 453 00:26:26,423 --> 00:26:27,981 Just stay out of trouble. 454 00:26:50,514 --> 00:26:51,742 (SCREAMlNG) 455 00:26:53,917 --> 00:26:58,445 Oh, I'm sorry. I was... I was dreaming about last night, 456 00:26:58,522 --> 00:27:02,925 those two guys, and then when I woke up, you were... 457 00:27:05,762 --> 00:27:08,128 Do you know how to make coffee? 458 00:27:19,376 --> 00:27:21,310 You're not mad, are you? 459 00:27:21,378 --> 00:27:26,714 Mad? Mad? No, of course not. I mean, why should I be mad? 460 00:27:26,783 --> 00:27:27,875 Being roommates with a... 461 00:27:27,951 --> 00:27:29,680 Don't say it. 462 00:27:30,253 --> 00:27:32,551 How do you know what I was going to say next? 463 00:27:33,123 --> 00:27:35,250 I'm a good guesser. 464 00:27:35,926 --> 00:27:36,915 And the truth of the matter is, 465 00:27:36,994 --> 00:27:39,292 whatever you were going to say, I deserve it. 466 00:27:40,497 --> 00:27:42,829 I've been disparaging you and this treasure hunt 467 00:27:42,899 --> 00:27:44,628 ever since they assigned me to it, 468 00:27:44,701 --> 00:27:47,329 and I know you were reluctant, too. 469 00:27:48,472 --> 00:27:50,633 And I know that if it weren't for you scaring off those guys, 470 00:27:50,707 --> 00:27:51,901 and then talking to the cops 471 00:27:51,975 --> 00:27:54,876 and then taking care of everything last night, well, 472 00:27:55,612 --> 00:27:58,240 I'd just be a real neurotic mess. 473 00:27:58,315 --> 00:27:59,304 (SCOFFlNG) 474 00:28:00,917 --> 00:28:03,715 I guess I'm a real neurotic mess anyway. 475 00:28:07,124 --> 00:28:08,113 Thank you. 476 00:28:08,425 --> 00:28:09,619 For what? 477 00:28:09,926 --> 00:28:10,915 Everything. 478 00:28:11,828 --> 00:28:13,090 Sure. 479 00:28:14,631 --> 00:28:19,068 Let's just try and make the best of the rest of the treasure hunt, okay? 480 00:28:19,369 --> 00:28:20,666 Okay. 481 00:28:22,639 --> 00:28:24,607 So, where's the next clue? 482 00:28:24,674 --> 00:28:26,699 I don't know. They're supposed to call. 483 00:28:26,843 --> 00:28:28,970 (PHONE RlNGlNG) 484 00:28:34,151 --> 00:28:35,516 Hello? 485 00:28:39,823 --> 00:28:41,017 Griswald. 486 00:28:42,292 --> 00:28:44,283 Yeah. Uh-huh. 487 00:28:46,296 --> 00:28:49,697 Uh-huh. Right. We'll be there. 488 00:28:52,903 --> 00:28:54,632 Where? Where's the next clue? 489 00:28:54,704 --> 00:28:57,172 It doesn't matter. They actually told me where the treasure is. 490 00:28:57,441 --> 00:28:58,601 Now all we have to do is show up 491 00:28:58,675 --> 00:29:00,666 and wait for the lucky winner to get there. 492 00:29:00,744 --> 00:29:02,371 Really? Yeah. 493 00:29:02,446 --> 00:29:03,845 The whole thing? Yeah. 494 00:29:04,714 --> 00:29:06,147 Why? 495 00:29:06,249 --> 00:29:07,341 Well, because of what's happened, 496 00:29:07,417 --> 00:29:09,044 they don't want to take any more chances with me 497 00:29:09,119 --> 00:29:11,815 or the hunt getting compromised. 498 00:29:12,456 --> 00:29:14,515 In other words, we're just supervisors now. 499 00:29:14,591 --> 00:29:16,422 We're through being roommates. 500 00:29:16,493 --> 00:29:17,482 Oh. 501 00:29:17,594 --> 00:29:18,856 (BUZZlNG) 502 00:29:20,831 --> 00:29:21,820 Thanks. 503 00:29:43,820 --> 00:29:44,809 RlCK: A bat! 504 00:29:45,222 --> 00:29:47,816 T.C.: (SlGHlNG) That was not a bat. 505 00:29:48,959 --> 00:29:51,154 (SCREAMlNG) 506 00:29:52,262 --> 00:29:53,729 That was a bat. 507 00:29:53,797 --> 00:29:55,924 Orville, will you just shut up and come on? 508 00:29:55,999 --> 00:29:59,230 Now, what's a couple of bats compared to a million bucks? 509 00:30:00,203 --> 00:30:01,192 (EXCLAlMlNG) 510 00:30:01,271 --> 00:30:03,034 (BAT SQUEAKlNG) 511 00:30:03,406 --> 00:30:05,067 I'm thinking about it. 512 00:30:09,513 --> 00:30:12,448 RlCK: Where's that First Mate guy anyway? Hey. 513 00:30:13,250 --> 00:30:16,048 DONNA: Let me see. Ah! 514 00:30:17,154 --> 00:30:19,714 Let's see. Okay, here we go. 515 00:30:19,789 --> 00:30:23,850 "First Mate Dick Trevor was instructed by Captain Dawkins 516 00:30:23,927 --> 00:30:27,090 "to proceed to the Cave of the Wild Boar where he..." 517 00:30:27,164 --> 00:30:28,756 Wild boar. What wild boar? 518 00:30:28,832 --> 00:30:30,265 Shut up. 519 00:30:31,902 --> 00:30:34,462 "...where he was to await further instructions. 520 00:30:34,538 --> 00:30:35,800 "Unbeknownst to him..." 521 00:30:35,872 --> 00:30:39,171 He was probably killed by the bats. Pecked to death. 522 00:30:40,010 --> 00:30:41,944 Probably sucked the blood right out of his neck. 523 00:30:42,012 --> 00:30:43,946 (BOTH) Shut up. 524 00:30:47,150 --> 00:30:50,244 Well, at any rate, according to the inscriptions we found on the rock, 525 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:51,446 we're in the right cave. 526 00:30:51,521 --> 00:30:55,514 Now, all we have to do is find First Mate Dick Trevor. 527 00:30:55,659 --> 00:30:58,287 Sure. He's probably waiting just around the bend. 528 00:31:14,511 --> 00:31:16,103 (ALL SCREAMlNG) 529 00:31:17,147 --> 00:31:18,478 ALL: You! 530 00:31:18,548 --> 00:31:20,243 What are you guys doing here? 531 00:31:22,519 --> 00:31:24,487 We're lost. Investigating. 532 00:31:25,522 --> 00:31:27,217 Investigating what? 533 00:31:27,290 --> 00:31:29,656 How about one million bucks, investigating? 534 00:31:29,726 --> 00:31:30,852 Mmm-hmm. 535 00:31:30,927 --> 00:31:32,827 You two guys better come clean. 536 00:31:32,963 --> 00:31:35,625 Listen, after you were arrested, the lieutenant called me, 537 00:31:35,699 --> 00:31:36,927 just to make an official report. 538 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,900 It was really routine stuff and... 539 00:31:38,969 --> 00:31:42,029 And we decided, the best course of action, 540 00:31:42,105 --> 00:31:46,098 and since you're all friends of ours and to avoid any further complications, 541 00:31:46,176 --> 00:31:47,871 was to investigate more fully. So... 542 00:31:47,944 --> 00:31:51,539 Yeah, so anyway, we were looking at the snapshot of the boulder clue, 543 00:31:51,615 --> 00:31:54,209 and, really, purely for background purposes, 544 00:31:54,284 --> 00:31:58,846 we kind of went out... We just picked up a copy of the book and... 545 00:31:58,955 --> 00:32:00,820 And tried to rip us off. 546 00:32:00,890 --> 00:32:02,084 Mmm-hmm. 547 00:32:02,158 --> 00:32:04,490 And these guys aren't even registered. 548 00:32:04,561 --> 00:32:05,960 But you are. 549 00:32:08,865 --> 00:32:11,766 Maybe we can be silent partners. 550 00:32:12,402 --> 00:32:14,131 Silent partners? 551 00:32:16,006 --> 00:32:17,496 That would mean the split would be... 552 00:32:17,574 --> 00:32:19,405 $200,000. 553 00:32:19,476 --> 00:32:21,808 We can live with that. Can you? 554 00:32:23,813 --> 00:32:28,045 Unless you want to go back to the station and answer a few more questions. 555 00:32:32,622 --> 00:32:35,022 Come on. I think it's this way. 556 00:32:41,931 --> 00:32:42,955 (ALL EXCLAlMlNG) 557 00:32:43,033 --> 00:32:44,295 That's it! I'm out of here! 558 00:32:44,367 --> 00:32:46,232 Hold it. Hold it. 559 00:32:47,137 --> 00:32:48,229 (BAYlNG) 560 00:32:48,305 --> 00:32:49,704 Who's in here? 561 00:32:49,773 --> 00:32:51,741 Come out or I'll... I'll shoot. 562 00:32:52,008 --> 00:32:53,339 You can't shoot people. 563 00:32:53,410 --> 00:32:55,401 Yeah, well, we can shoot ghosts. 564 00:32:55,478 --> 00:32:57,070 There are no ghosts. 565 00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,646 Look, you come out or I'm coming in. 566 00:32:59,716 --> 00:33:00,705 (BAYlNG CONTlNUES) 567 00:33:00,884 --> 00:33:04,547 I'm gonna count to three. One, two... 568 00:33:04,621 --> 00:33:06,782 Okay, okay, okay, we're coming. 569 00:33:08,892 --> 00:33:09,984 How's it, brah? 570 00:33:10,060 --> 00:33:12,221 "How's it, brah?" I'm gonna... 571 00:33:12,295 --> 00:33:13,489 T.C. 572 00:33:13,563 --> 00:33:14,825 What are you guys doing here? 573 00:33:14,898 --> 00:33:16,889 I believe we share the same general interests. 574 00:33:16,966 --> 00:33:17,990 I mean how... 575 00:33:18,068 --> 00:33:19,126 It was rather difficult, actually. 576 00:33:19,202 --> 00:33:21,227 When we got to the banyan tree, 577 00:33:21,304 --> 00:33:24,034 which, evidently, you so thoughtfully dug up, 578 00:33:24,107 --> 00:33:25,506 we found there was nobody there 579 00:33:25,575 --> 00:33:27,907 except two plainclothes policemen. 580 00:33:27,977 --> 00:33:29,740 And they let you look at the clue? 581 00:33:29,813 --> 00:33:32,008 Well, no. Actually, we waited for them to leave, 582 00:33:32,082 --> 00:33:35,711 only to find that that clue, that mark on the rock face, 583 00:33:35,785 --> 00:33:37,514 had been hurriedly painted over. 584 00:33:37,587 --> 00:33:40,317 So my partner Kika and l removed that boulder, 585 00:33:40,390 --> 00:33:42,585 we took it to my lab and we took off the paint. 586 00:33:42,659 --> 00:33:44,456 That's what took us so long. 587 00:33:44,527 --> 00:33:46,654 You mean, the cops painted the rock over? 588 00:33:46,730 --> 00:33:47,719 I guess. 589 00:33:47,797 --> 00:33:49,594 I'm gonna get their names. That's destruction of evidence. 590 00:33:49,666 --> 00:33:53,932 That's not important. What is important is the fact that right now 591 00:33:54,070 --> 00:33:57,870 the seven of us in this cave are the only ones who know the location of this clue. 592 00:33:58,108 --> 00:34:00,872 Obviously, the painted rock was a dead end for everybody else, 593 00:34:00,944 --> 00:34:03,276 so the treasure is ours. 594 00:34:03,346 --> 00:34:05,007 Yeah, that's precisely right. 595 00:34:05,081 --> 00:34:07,015 I apologize for alarming you, 596 00:34:07,083 --> 00:34:08,778 but when we heard the voices we decided 597 00:34:08,852 --> 00:34:10,820 discretion was the better part of valor 598 00:34:10,887 --> 00:34:13,048 until we could ascertain indeed precisely 599 00:34:13,123 --> 00:34:14,784 who it was that we were dealing with. 600 00:34:14,858 --> 00:34:17,418 Oh, this is wonderful, wonderful. 601 00:34:18,061 --> 00:34:20,757 How many times does seven go into a million? 602 00:34:20,830 --> 00:34:21,888 One hundred and forty... 603 00:34:21,965 --> 00:34:23,159 ...two thousand eight hundred... 604 00:34:23,233 --> 00:34:24,666 ...and 57 dollars... 605 00:34:24,734 --> 00:34:26,201 ...and 14 cents. 606 00:34:28,104 --> 00:34:29,435 I knew it! 607 00:34:29,506 --> 00:34:31,667 Where is this clue? 608 00:34:32,275 --> 00:34:34,175 Right over here. 609 00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:40,379 For in the book, remember, First Mate Dick Trevor 610 00:34:40,450 --> 00:34:45,786 swallowed that map just before he was killed. 611 00:34:47,457 --> 00:34:49,857 Well, where is it? The suspense is killing me. 612 00:34:49,993 --> 00:34:51,858 HlGGlNS: Oh, my God. 613 00:34:53,496 --> 00:34:55,020 The treasure is here? 614 00:34:55,098 --> 00:34:56,429 Apparently. 615 00:34:56,499 --> 00:34:59,900 Buried beneath my prized bed of grandiflora Queen Elizabeths? 616 00:34:59,969 --> 00:35:01,197 Evidently. 617 00:35:01,271 --> 00:35:02,431 Why? 618 00:35:03,740 --> 00:35:05,139 I don't know. I'm just a hired hand. 619 00:35:05,208 --> 00:35:06,368 How? When? 620 00:35:06,443 --> 00:35:07,808 I don't know. 621 00:35:08,545 --> 00:35:10,103 Maybe it happened last weekend 622 00:35:10,180 --> 00:35:12,410 when you were on Maui and I was at my economics seminar. 623 00:35:12,482 --> 00:35:14,712 How could Mr. Masters do this to me? 624 00:35:14,784 --> 00:35:17,048 Calm yourself, Jonathan. 625 00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:19,452 It probably wasn't Robin, Mr. Higgins. 626 00:35:19,522 --> 00:35:22,047 I'm sure it was the company's idea, 627 00:35:22,125 --> 00:35:23,820 because in the book the implication was 628 00:35:23,893 --> 00:35:27,385 that the treasure was finally located in a tropical garden. 629 00:35:27,464 --> 00:35:30,433 You know, just before the oh-so-tragic ending. 630 00:35:30,533 --> 00:35:33,900 And this being Robin's property, the advance man, 631 00:35:33,970 --> 00:35:35,699 the genius who figured all this out, 632 00:35:35,772 --> 00:35:39,367 probably figured this was the closest thing we had to one. 633 00:35:39,442 --> 00:35:42,343 You know, a million dollars is a million dollars. 634 00:35:42,412 --> 00:35:44,880 We couldn't very well just bury it anywhere. 635 00:35:48,051 --> 00:35:50,281 On behalf of the company, I do apologize. 636 00:35:50,353 --> 00:35:52,947 And I'm sure any damage to your flowerbed will be compensated. 637 00:35:53,022 --> 00:35:54,887 That is not the point. 638 00:35:54,958 --> 00:35:57,620 Jonathan, please. You'll have a stroke. 639 00:35:57,694 --> 00:35:59,218 I don't care. I... 640 00:35:59,295 --> 00:36:02,093 Ms. Griswald, telephone, Ms. Griswald. 641 00:36:02,298 --> 00:36:04,630 Will you just excuse me for a moment? 642 00:36:14,377 --> 00:36:16,572 I still don't see why my grandiflora Queen Elizabeths 643 00:36:16,646 --> 00:36:19,080 had to perish for the sake of a cheap publicity stunt. 644 00:36:19,215 --> 00:36:20,944 I'm sure when all this is over, Higgins, 645 00:36:21,017 --> 00:36:22,006 you can get some new flowers. 646 00:36:22,085 --> 00:36:24,315 They're not just flowers. They're... 647 00:36:24,387 --> 00:36:26,787 AMY: Big trouble. I'm glad you finally realize that. 648 00:36:26,856 --> 00:36:29,916 I'm not talking about the roses, Mr. Higgins. 649 00:36:30,293 --> 00:36:31,783 That was Channel 8 news. 650 00:36:31,861 --> 00:36:34,489 Somehow, they've stumbled upon some of the treasure hunters at the cave 651 00:36:34,564 --> 00:36:36,998 and they've sent a crew up there to do a story on them. 652 00:36:37,066 --> 00:36:40,160 I've got to get up there, because if any of those clue sites appear on television, 653 00:36:40,236 --> 00:36:41,897 the whole contest will be compromised. 654 00:36:41,971 --> 00:36:42,960 I'll go with you. 655 00:36:43,039 --> 00:36:44,597 No, you won't. I mean, you can't. 656 00:36:44,674 --> 00:36:46,869 You've got to stay here with the money. But... 657 00:36:46,943 --> 00:36:48,570 And if any of the entrants are smart enough 658 00:36:48,645 --> 00:36:51,375 to have figured this part out, you must supervise the unearthing. 659 00:36:51,447 --> 00:36:52,539 I'll be back just as soon as I can. 660 00:36:52,615 --> 00:36:54,412 MAGNUM: But... Please do as I ask. 661 00:36:54,484 --> 00:36:56,850 I don't want to lose my job, 662 00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:59,388 intellectually degrading as it may be. 663 00:37:06,062 --> 00:37:07,927 I know how you feel, Higgins, 664 00:37:07,997 --> 00:37:12,263 but sometimes the whims of the rich and powerful can be very capricious. 665 00:37:12,335 --> 00:37:14,701 But I know you'll get over it, really. 666 00:37:14,771 --> 00:37:16,602 He's right, Jonathan. 667 00:37:16,673 --> 00:37:18,868 And after all, how much worse can things get? 668 00:37:21,811 --> 00:37:23,642 (HONKlNG) 669 00:37:34,490 --> 00:37:35,821 RlCK: Let's go for it. 670 00:37:35,892 --> 00:37:37,587 KlKA: Dig! Let's go! Dig! 671 00:37:37,660 --> 00:37:39,958 All right! Dig! 672 00:37:51,841 --> 00:37:56,073 My God, there's nothing there. 673 00:38:05,088 --> 00:38:07,113 I demand an explanation. 674 00:38:07,657 --> 00:38:09,147 From me? Why me? 675 00:38:09,225 --> 00:38:10,852 Because you are in charge of this contest. 676 00:38:10,927 --> 00:38:14,328 I'm not in charge of this contest. Amy Griswald is, or was. 677 00:38:14,397 --> 00:38:16,456 My job was to try and keep it honest. 678 00:38:16,532 --> 00:38:19,023 Performed, I might add, in your typically superlative fashion. 679 00:38:19,102 --> 00:38:20,364 Where is the million dollars? 680 00:38:20,436 --> 00:38:21,596 I don't know. 681 00:38:21,671 --> 00:38:24,731 All this death and mutilation for naught, for naught. 682 00:38:24,807 --> 00:38:27,275 Really. The treasure should have been here. 683 00:38:27,343 --> 00:38:30,335 This is the most specifically delineated clue of the lot. 684 00:38:30,413 --> 00:38:31,744 There can be no mistaking it. 685 00:38:31,814 --> 00:38:32,906 Unless it was a plant. 686 00:38:33,016 --> 00:38:34,347 It was many plants. 687 00:38:34,417 --> 00:38:35,816 Oh, that's not what I'm talking about. 688 00:38:35,885 --> 00:38:37,443 Then, what, pray tell, are you talking about? 689 00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:40,284 Doc, what did those cops who guarded the banyan tree look like? 690 00:38:40,356 --> 00:38:42,221 One was blonde, baby-faced. 691 00:38:42,291 --> 00:38:44,919 The other was a little taller with a pencil-thin mustache 692 00:38:44,994 --> 00:38:46,928 Iike Boston Blackie? Remember him? 693 00:38:47,030 --> 00:38:48,019 No. 694 00:38:48,097 --> 00:38:49,758 But I bet you Amy Griswald does. 695 00:38:49,832 --> 00:38:51,766 Magnum, as usual, you're not making any sense. 696 00:38:51,834 --> 00:38:53,358 Oh, yes, I am. 697 00:38:53,436 --> 00:38:57,304 Look, you take those mystery intruders in Amy's motel room, 698 00:38:57,373 --> 00:38:59,807 you add a couple of phony cops with a can of paint, 699 00:38:59,876 --> 00:39:01,867 and a mysterious phone call from Channel 8 700 00:39:01,944 --> 00:39:04,435 and you're gonna come up with a couple of guys 701 00:39:04,514 --> 00:39:07,278 named Doug Fenwick and Terry Dobbs 702 00:39:07,350 --> 00:39:11,377 in collusion with Ms. Mount Kisco. I mean, don't you see? 703 00:39:11,454 --> 00:39:14,821 She was spoon-feeding them the clues as she got them from the accounting firm. 704 00:39:14,891 --> 00:39:16,882 But after the manufactured incident at the motel, 705 00:39:16,959 --> 00:39:19,189 well, they just panicked and gave her the whole ball of wax. 706 00:39:19,262 --> 00:39:20,786 Which she handed to them. 707 00:39:20,863 --> 00:39:21,955 Right! 708 00:39:22,031 --> 00:39:24,329 That's a very interesting theory, Mr. Magnum. 709 00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:25,389 Thank you. 710 00:39:25,501 --> 00:39:26,798 Yeah, and while they're off stealing the treasure, 711 00:39:26,869 --> 00:39:29,497 we're sitting here discussing it. 712 00:39:29,639 --> 00:39:31,903 So this bogus clue from the skeleton is nothing more 713 00:39:31,974 --> 00:39:34,033 than a classic case of misdirection. 714 00:39:34,110 --> 00:39:36,044 So what are we gonna do about it? 715 00:39:36,112 --> 00:39:37,909 Good question. What? 716 00:39:37,980 --> 00:39:39,845 Yes, Magnum. What? 717 00:39:43,052 --> 00:39:45,077 We go back to the book. 718 00:39:45,822 --> 00:39:49,121 MAGNUM: The last chapter, right where it gets real tragic. 719 00:39:50,326 --> 00:39:53,090 If James does not make it here, Maggie, it will not be 720 00:39:53,162 --> 00:39:56,859 because he did not try, nor does not love you. 721 00:39:56,933 --> 00:39:58,924 It is simply the Lord's will. 722 00:39:59,001 --> 00:40:01,435 Was it the Lord's will for him to steal the treasure? 723 00:40:01,504 --> 00:40:04,701 But that was Spanish treasure. We are at war with them, Maggie. 724 00:40:04,774 --> 00:40:08,471 Captain James Dawkins was merely doing his duty. 725 00:40:08,544 --> 00:40:10,136 Nothing more, nothing less. 726 00:40:10,279 --> 00:40:13,407 I'll die not having known what it was like to be with him. 727 00:40:13,483 --> 00:40:16,919 To have him as my husband. We never should have left England. 728 00:40:16,986 --> 00:40:20,478 Aye, I'll chug one to that, milady. None of us should have left. 729 00:40:22,692 --> 00:40:24,023 James. 730 00:40:25,061 --> 00:40:26,619 Maggie. 731 00:40:28,097 --> 00:40:30,031 Maggie. At last, we're together. 732 00:40:30,099 --> 00:40:32,226 Yes, yes. 733 00:40:32,301 --> 00:40:34,201 The four of us. We must go quickly. 734 00:40:34,270 --> 00:40:36,465 Our only hope is to... 735 00:40:43,446 --> 00:40:45,573 My God, Maggie. We must flee. 736 00:40:56,459 --> 00:40:58,051 Perhaps now we can be together. 737 00:40:59,295 --> 00:41:01,559 Yes. Always. 738 00:41:11,841 --> 00:41:15,470 Wow, that's really tragic. I should have read the book. 739 00:41:15,545 --> 00:41:17,672 And Robin Masters should have done his research. 740 00:41:17,747 --> 00:41:21,205 Spain didn't enter the Anglo-Franco war until 1762. 741 00:41:21,284 --> 00:41:24,845 Yes, but who cares? The point is that they jumped off the cliff. 742 00:41:25,054 --> 00:41:26,954 Right, but listen to this last paragraph. 743 00:41:27,056 --> 00:41:30,492 "And so the brave Captain Dawkins and his true love, Maggie Brown, 744 00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:32,425 "plunged hand in hand over the precipice 745 00:41:32,495 --> 00:41:35,396 "into the brutally churning waters below. 746 00:41:35,531 --> 00:41:36,998 "And even though they did indeed perish, 747 00:41:37,066 --> 00:41:38,795 "their love would live on and on." 748 00:41:38,868 --> 00:41:40,392 What treacle. 749 00:41:41,204 --> 00:41:42,330 I kind of liked it. 750 00:41:42,405 --> 00:41:43,565 That's not the point. 751 00:41:43,639 --> 00:41:45,334 My dear, what is the point? 752 00:41:45,408 --> 00:41:49,003 The point is, there are no churning fresh waters on Oahu. 753 00:41:49,111 --> 00:41:50,100 Exactly. 754 00:41:50,179 --> 00:41:51,373 But this is fiction. 755 00:41:51,447 --> 00:41:53,039 Yeah, but the scouting trip I took Robin on 756 00:41:53,115 --> 00:41:54,707 before he wrote the book wasn't. 757 00:41:54,784 --> 00:41:56,479 He just used a little literary license. 758 00:41:56,552 --> 00:41:58,577 I know exactly where they are. 759 00:42:37,193 --> 00:42:39,058 MAGNUM: I know what you're thinking. 760 00:42:39,128 --> 00:42:42,620 Given what happened earlier, we were walking into a certain trap. 761 00:42:42,698 --> 00:42:44,097 I knew that. 762 00:42:44,166 --> 00:42:46,828 But what Amy and her cohorts didn't know 763 00:42:46,903 --> 00:42:50,771 was what could happen when the trappers became the trapees. 764 00:42:50,873 --> 00:42:53,103 Nobody move. 765 00:42:53,743 --> 00:42:55,267 I think. 766 00:42:56,145 --> 00:42:59,114 Don't try anything stupid, guys. 767 00:43:07,223 --> 00:43:08,622 Jump. 768 00:43:11,761 --> 00:43:12,989 All of you. 769 00:43:13,095 --> 00:43:14,619 You can't be serious. 770 00:43:14,697 --> 00:43:15,686 Down there? 771 00:43:15,765 --> 00:43:17,164 In the water? 772 00:43:17,266 --> 00:43:19,131 In the water. 773 00:43:19,201 --> 00:43:23,570 Look, guys, I think there's room for discussion here. Why don't we... 774 00:43:23,639 --> 00:43:26,005 No. No more talk. We're through talking. 775 00:43:26,075 --> 00:43:28,908 Everybody over the side, in the drink. 776 00:43:28,978 --> 00:43:32,038 Come on. I mean, we're all rational human beings. 777 00:43:32,114 --> 00:43:34,139 I mean, why don't we try and work something out? 778 00:43:34,216 --> 00:43:36,844 After all, there's more than enough to go around here. 779 00:43:36,919 --> 00:43:39,114 AMY: Not necessarily. 780 00:43:40,623 --> 00:43:43,217 Everyone stay exactly as you are. 781 00:43:44,460 --> 00:43:48,362 The Great Treasure of Kalaniopu'u Treasure Hunt is history. 782 00:43:53,202 --> 00:43:55,227 Time for the grand finale, right now. 783 00:43:56,539 --> 00:43:59,975 You know, I don't think you're going to be doing much book editing anymore. 784 00:44:00,042 --> 00:44:03,034 Unless you and these bozos plan on doing some prison writing. 785 00:44:03,179 --> 00:44:05,374 There's something about a $1 million payday 786 00:44:05,448 --> 00:44:08,417 that can make you lose your zeal for working. 787 00:44:08,484 --> 00:44:11,544 Now do as we say. We've got a plane to catch. 788 00:44:11,787 --> 00:44:13,118 I think you're bluffing. 789 00:44:15,257 --> 00:44:17,191 That's it, I think a swim will be just fine. 790 00:44:17,393 --> 00:44:18,883 Stay right there, Rick. 791 00:44:19,895 --> 00:44:21,362 (HELlCOPTER WHlRRlNG) 792 00:44:45,087 --> 00:44:48,955 Get the rope! Come on. 793 00:45:03,939 --> 00:45:05,702 (LAUGHlNG) 794 00:45:38,674 --> 00:45:40,505 I got it! I got it! 795 00:45:40,776 --> 00:45:42,903 Money, money, money, money. 796 00:45:54,857 --> 00:45:57,052 (SPLASHlNG) 797 00:45:59,795 --> 00:46:01,592 (LAUGHlNG) 798 00:46:05,668 --> 00:46:10,230 I'm sorry you lost your grandiflora Queen Elizabeths over this. 799 00:46:10,306 --> 00:46:13,434 Thank you, Magnum. The gesture is appreciated. 800 00:46:13,509 --> 00:46:15,340 But I suppose that when one works, 801 00:46:15,411 --> 00:46:17,436 as we do, for someone as eccentric 802 00:46:17,513 --> 00:46:20,277 and as anarchically impulsive as Mr. Masters, 803 00:46:20,349 --> 00:46:22,044 we must expect the unexpected 804 00:46:22,118 --> 00:46:25,645 and learn to live with the somewhat absurd vagaries of his work. 805 00:46:25,721 --> 00:46:27,780 You're right, Higgins. 806 00:46:27,857 --> 00:46:32,351 I guess you and I'll be doing this for a long time, too, huh? 807 00:46:32,428 --> 00:46:34,862 You know, together. 808 00:46:34,930 --> 00:46:38,627 Yes, as a matter of fact, always. 809 00:46:45,975 --> 00:46:48,637 (SCREAMlNG) 810 00:46:48,777 --> 00:46:50,142 (SPLASH)