1
00:00:06,481 --> 00:00:07,942
Are you ready to run?
2
00:00:08,006 --> 00:00:09,270
I have my playlist all ready.
3
00:00:09,302 --> 00:00:11,575
Actually, it's
Diane Keaton's autobiography,
4
00:00:11,633 --> 00:00:13,099
and she just filmed
First Wives Club,
5
00:00:13,239 --> 00:00:14,617
and it's getting me pumped!
6
00:00:14,656 --> 00:00:16,561
I totally forgot
we were going to run today.
7
00:00:16,562 --> 00:00:18,391
I e-mailed you,
like, three times.
8
00:00:18,392 --> 00:00:19,898
Maybe you typed "gmoil" again.
9
00:00:19,899 --> 00:00:21,565
No more excuses--
we have to train.
10
00:00:21,615 --> 00:00:22,915
We signed up
for this charity run
11
00:00:22,983 --> 00:00:23,983
and now we have to do it.
12
00:00:24,051 --> 00:00:25,552
Why can't we just
donate the money?
13
00:00:25,619 --> 00:00:27,987
Why do we have to run
the six miles first?
14
00:00:28,055 --> 00:00:29,822
That's a good point,
but, no, you're gonna go...
15
00:00:29,890 --> 00:00:30,923
Oh, no, Jess, look, I can't go.
16
00:00:30,991 --> 00:00:33,025
I am super hungover right now.
17
00:00:33,094 --> 00:00:35,260
Plus, Masha had
a bit of a crisis.
18
00:00:35,328 --> 00:00:37,029
She accidentally ate a cookie.
19
00:00:37,097 --> 00:00:38,464
- What?
- Because she fell on it.
20
00:00:38,531 --> 00:00:39,631
I am devastated.
21
00:00:39,699 --> 00:00:41,533
She is devastated.
22
00:00:41,601 --> 00:00:43,135
Well, why don't you
come running with us?
23
00:00:43,203 --> 00:00:45,070
- No, she definitely can't.
- You can run off that cookie.
24
00:00:45,138 --> 00:00:46,638
- It's great.
- You know what? We will
25
00:00:46,706 --> 00:00:48,574
- do it tomorrow, I promise.
- It's more money for charity.
26
00:00:48,641 --> 00:00:50,175
It'll be so fun.
27
00:00:53,012 --> 00:00:55,112
I mean, that was a close one.
28
00:00:55,179 --> 00:00:56,279
Good thing
I'm a quiet breather.
29
00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:57,281
I learned that as a kid
30
00:00:57,348 --> 00:00:58,382
playing "Who passed out?"
with my mom.
31
00:00:59,451 --> 00:01:00,851
My mom always won.
32
00:01:00,919 --> 00:01:03,754
Jew in the couch,
Jew in the couch.
33
00:01:05,224 --> 00:01:07,358
Nadia, American manners.
34
00:01:07,426 --> 00:01:08,359
Sorry.
35
00:01:08,427 --> 00:01:11,060
Jew-Jew person in couch.
36
00:01:12,796 --> 00:01:14,062
She's not wrong.
37
00:01:14,113 --> 00:01:16,948
# Who's that girl? #
# Who's that girl? #
38
00:01:17,656 --> 00:01:20,632
1x19
- Secrets -
39
00:01:22,335 --> 00:01:24,344
Okay, bye, Nick.
40
00:01:24,842 --> 00:01:27,176
So you'll call me?
41
00:01:27,244 --> 00:01:29,955
Um, yeah, yeah,
I'll definitely...
42
00:01:31,416 --> 00:01:32,516
Are you, are you okay?
43
00:01:32,557 --> 00:01:33,591
I'm gonna call you.
44
00:01:33,656 --> 00:01:35,033
Um, okay.
45
00:01:35,152 --> 00:01:36,885
Do you hike?
Do you hike?
46
00:01:38,087 --> 00:01:39,988
- Okay, I...
- This was fun.
47
00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:43,158
Okay, I'll call you tonight
to make sure you're okay?
48
00:01:43,196 --> 00:01:44,314
Please.
49
00:01:48,531 --> 00:01:50,465
That was ridiculous.
50
00:01:50,533 --> 00:01:52,154
I can't do this, Winston.
51
00:01:52,197 --> 00:01:53,322
I don't know how to sleep
52
00:01:53,323 --> 00:01:54,766
with 21-year-old girls,
53
00:01:54,806 --> 00:01:56,298
and for the last couple weeks,
that's all
54
00:01:56,299 --> 00:01:57,599
I've been doing.
55
00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,066
What's going on with you?
Are you okay?
56
00:01:59,148 --> 00:02:00,582
I saw something a few days ago.
57
00:02:01,190 --> 00:02:02,457
Now, I've been
sworn to secrecy,
58
00:02:02,507 --> 00:02:05,566
- but it is just too big.
- You know I can't keep a secret,
59
00:02:05,631 --> 00:02:08,075
- I can't lie, Winston. You saw me with
that girl. - Don't leave me like this.
60
00:02:08,076 --> 00:02:09,264
Even thinking
about keeping a secret
61
00:02:09,265 --> 00:02:10,686
turns my back
into a Slip 'n Slide.
62
00:02:10,810 --> 00:02:12,797
Come on, man, you got to help
me out, okay? I'm dying.
63
00:02:13,052 --> 00:02:15,333
- I don't want to know.
- Hey, hey, hey, come on, come on...
64
00:02:15,375 --> 00:02:17,376
- I'm dying! I'm dying, man!
- I don't want to know.
65
00:02:17,449 --> 00:02:18,816
I don't want to know!
66
00:02:18,902 --> 00:02:20,837
Cece and Schmidt are
sleeping together!
67
00:02:25,371 --> 00:02:27,873
Ew.
68
00:02:34,260 --> 00:02:35,666
It's happening under our roof.
69
00:02:35,713 --> 00:02:36,455
No.
70
00:02:36,508 --> 00:02:37,040
- Yes.
- No.
71
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,081
Yes!
72
00:02:38,133 --> 00:02:39,434
This makes me hate things.
73
00:02:39,510 --> 00:02:41,678
I know, man.
It's like up is down.
74
00:02:41,742 --> 00:02:43,242
Up is the new down, man.
75
00:02:43,311 --> 00:02:45,656
Now my back is sweating.
76
00:02:46,045 --> 00:02:47,192
All right, who knows?
77
00:02:47,193 --> 00:02:48,478
Everybody but Jess.
78
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:50,048
Hey.
79
00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:51,711
Hey, Jess.
80
00:02:51,784 --> 00:02:52,818
We're just hanging out
in the hallway.
81
00:02:52,885 --> 00:02:54,152
What's going on?
Nothing's going on.
82
00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:55,454
Yeah, actually,
I'm really annoyed.
83
00:02:55,522 --> 00:02:57,055
Cece bailed on me again.
We were supposed
84
00:02:57,123 --> 00:02:58,290
to train for that race
this weekend.
85
00:02:58,358 --> 00:03:00,926
That is so Cece.
86
00:03:00,993 --> 00:03:02,527
I know... I mean,
87
00:03:03,094 --> 00:03:05,663
and the weird thing is that
she said she was hungover,
88
00:03:05,731 --> 00:03:08,199
but last night she said
she didn't want to go out.
89
00:03:09,768 --> 00:03:11,369
Maybe she had a guy over.
90
00:03:11,437 --> 00:03:13,170
Not like that--
I didn't say anything.
91
00:03:13,238 --> 00:03:15,373
If you think about what I said,
I didn't say anything.
92
00:03:16,191 --> 00:03:17,307
You have a secret.
93
00:03:17,487 --> 00:03:18,915
- You have a secret.
- No, you have a secret.
94
00:03:18,916 --> 00:03:20,190
- Turn around.
- You turn around.
95
00:03:20,220 --> 00:03:21,347
- Let me see your back.
- Please don't.
96
00:03:21,412 --> 00:03:23,680
J- ust be cool about...
- Ew, gross.
97
00:03:23,748 --> 00:03:26,282
J'accuse, Miller, j'accuse.
98
00:03:26,351 --> 00:03:27,217
You fold like a lawn chair.
99
00:03:27,284 --> 00:03:29,486
Fold, fold.
100
00:03:29,554 --> 00:03:31,254
Yes, you-- fold,
fold, fold, fold, fold, fold.
101
00:03:31,322 --> 00:03:32,723
Winston told me Cece and Schmidt
are sleeping together!
102
00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:33,689
- Come on, man!
- What?!
103
00:03:33,757 --> 00:03:36,859
Oh, my God.
104
00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:38,160
They know, Schmidt.
105
00:03:38,228 --> 00:03:39,261
Sweatback?
106
00:03:39,329 --> 00:03:41,364
You told Sweatback?
Come on, Winston.
107
00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,198
- Jess.
- God.
108
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:47,703
I am so sorry that you had
to hear about this like this.
109
00:03:47,771 --> 00:03:50,037
But, I mean, can we just take
a moment to celebrate me?
110
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:51,439
Schmidtty really did it
this time.
111
00:03:51,507 --> 00:03:53,107
I mean,
I'm having Indian every night.
112
00:03:53,175 --> 00:03:54,942
- No, no!
- Whoa, whoa!
113
00:03:59,915 --> 00:04:02,283
Jess, I'm really sorry
you found out this way,
114
00:04:02,351 --> 00:04:03,507
okay, but trust me, it wasn't
115
00:04:03,508 --> 00:04:05,649
some big conspiracy.
116
00:04:05,705 --> 00:04:07,885
It was just something that happened
and then it got out of control,
117
00:04:07,886 --> 00:04:09,228
sort of like poison oak
118
00:04:09,261 --> 00:04:11,066
and I just couldn't
stop scratching it.
119
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:12,259
Cece started it.
120
00:04:12,326 --> 00:04:14,728
That's...
121
00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:16,463
I did, I started it.
122
00:04:16,531 --> 00:04:19,165
Why, Cece? Are you trying
to get back at your parents?
123
00:04:19,233 --> 00:04:20,300
When did it start?
124
00:04:20,368 --> 00:04:21,834
Jess, I want to emphasize
125
00:04:21,902 --> 00:04:23,503
that we are not dating.
126
00:04:23,570 --> 00:04:24,704
I can't stress that enough.
127
00:04:24,772 --> 00:04:26,071
This is just sex.
128
00:04:26,139 --> 00:04:27,407
Mm-hmm, when did it start?
129
00:04:27,474 --> 00:04:31,778
1:03 a.m., February 15,
130
00:04:31,845 --> 00:04:35,715
right on schedule.
131
00:04:35,783 --> 00:04:36,892
Two months ago.
132
00:04:36,938 --> 00:04:38,270
Two months?
133
00:04:38,318 --> 00:04:40,416
Two moons have passed
since you started doing it?
134
00:04:40,475 --> 00:04:42,168
Why do you start talking
like a Native American
135
00:04:42,169 --> 00:04:42,956
when you get angry?
136
00:04:42,988 --> 00:04:44,255
Two moons have passed!
137
00:04:44,323 --> 00:04:45,857
Just a quick sidebar.
138
00:04:45,925 --> 00:04:47,526
Uh, we've done it in every
room of the apartment.
139
00:04:47,593 --> 00:04:49,193
Ugh, even my room?
140
00:04:49,261 --> 00:04:50,796
- Just the one time.
- Oh, God.
141
00:04:50,863 --> 00:04:52,431
How long have you known?
142
00:04:52,798 --> 00:04:53,631
A few days.
143
00:04:53,698 --> 00:04:55,098
- You didn't tell me either?
- Jess,
144
00:04:55,166 --> 00:04:57,267
just as a reminder, I told you
seconds after I found out.
145
00:04:57,335 --> 00:05:00,070
Because you're weak, Nick, weak.
146
00:05:00,138 --> 00:05:01,906
Okay, I agree.
Just chill out. Stop yelling.
147
00:05:01,973 --> 00:05:04,241
Jess, I want to tell
you everything.
148
00:05:04,309 --> 00:05:05,342
What do you want to know?
149
00:05:05,410 --> 00:05:06,944
I don't know, Cece.
How would I know
150
00:05:07,011 --> 00:05:08,011
if you're telling the truth?
151
00:05:08,079 --> 00:05:08,879
Come on, Jess.
152
00:05:08,947 --> 00:05:09,746
Are you seriously mad?
153
00:05:11,315 --> 00:05:14,350
No, no, I'm not.
154
00:05:14,418 --> 00:05:16,252
I'm really glad
you two are having fun.
155
00:05:18,155 --> 00:05:21,057
How cool is that?
156
00:05:23,692 --> 00:05:24,694
For what it's worth
157
00:05:24,762 --> 00:05:26,829
I think what I did
was really brave.
158
00:05:28,631 --> 00:05:29,865
Oh.
159
00:05:29,933 --> 00:05:30,899
Get off of me.
160
00:05:30,967 --> 00:05:32,835
Yeah.
161
00:05:36,869 --> 00:05:38,416
Hey, have you guys seen a scarf?
162
00:05:38,537 --> 00:05:39,903
Holly said she left it out here.
163
00:05:39,971 --> 00:05:41,305
It's my favorite scarf
164
00:05:41,373 --> 00:05:43,140
because it's a circle,
so you never have to think
165
00:05:43,208 --> 00:05:45,356
about which end goes
on the right or the left.
166
00:05:45,391 --> 00:05:46,861
My therapist gave it to me.
167
00:05:46,923 --> 00:05:49,243
She's Asian, but
she's the nicest.
168
00:05:51,999 --> 00:05:52,932
Who is that?
169
00:05:53,227 --> 00:05:54,693
Nobody, just...
170
00:05:54,918 --> 00:05:57,220
Who was that?
171
00:05:57,288 --> 00:05:58,821
Was it that
stuck-up bitch
172
00:05:58,889 --> 00:06:00,490
from last night
with the fake hand?
173
00:06:00,558 --> 00:06:02,024
- Whoa.
- No, it was no one.
174
00:06:02,092 --> 00:06:04,194
It was just...
it was just beep-beep-beep.
175
00:06:04,261 --> 00:06:05,195
Was...
176
00:06:05,262 --> 00:06:06,896
I'm so old.
177
00:06:06,963 --> 00:06:09,030
I don't even know
how to use a cell phone.
178
00:06:09,098 --> 00:06:10,098
Come on.
Let's go clubbing.
179
00:06:10,166 --> 00:06:11,300
You want to go clubbing?
180
00:06:11,367 --> 00:06:12,467
Show me the phone.
181
00:06:12,535 --> 00:06:13,868
Let's go back to when
we were having fun.
182
00:06:13,936 --> 00:06:15,770
- Let me see the phone.
- No, just chill out.
183
00:06:15,838 --> 00:06:17,472
- Let me see your phone.
- No!
184
00:06:18,808 --> 00:06:19,974
Smooth.
185
00:06:22,278 --> 00:06:23,211
I'll call you.
186
00:06:23,278 --> 00:06:24,478
Nick, are you kid...?
187
00:06:24,546 --> 00:06:25,762
What, you keep the ringer on?
188
00:06:25,808 --> 00:06:27,231
Amateur move, man.
189
00:06:27,268 --> 00:06:28,835
Yeah, I'm just in over my head.
190
00:06:28,935 --> 00:06:32,177
Schmidt, I hate asking you this,
but how do you do this?
191
00:06:32,220 --> 00:06:34,085
Oh, glory be, are you
asking for my help?
192
00:06:34,122 --> 00:06:35,347
Oh, I-I'm flattered.
193
00:06:35,414 --> 00:06:37,248
Pull up, pull up, Nick.
Yank back on that yoke.
194
00:06:37,316 --> 00:06:39,549
We have to face
the reality of the situation.
195
00:06:39,860 --> 00:06:43,241
Schmidt has been having
consensual sex with Cece
196
00:06:43,242 --> 00:06:44,968
and lying about it.
197
00:06:45,161 --> 00:06:47,272
He's better than us at this, Winston
198
00:06:47,302 --> 00:06:49,091
and I hate it as much as you do,
199
00:06:49,110 --> 00:06:50,680
and, Schmidt, I
hate saying this,
200
00:06:50,734 --> 00:06:51,901
but I might...
201
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,089
I might respect you.
202
00:06:54,142 --> 00:06:55,751
Thank you for saying that.
203
00:06:55,808 --> 00:06:57,543
You've come a long way, man.
204
00:06:57,611 --> 00:06:58,877
Since my 20s, I've had
205
00:06:58,945 --> 00:07:00,613
a string of lesser paramours
206
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:01,947
which, like weathered
207
00:07:02,014 --> 00:07:05,150
stone steps, have led me
to the Hindu temple,
208
00:07:05,218 --> 00:07:07,686
a.k.a. Cece,
because she's Indian.
209
00:07:10,189 --> 00:07:12,223
You don't have to be
so gentle with me.
210
00:07:13,726 --> 00:07:15,059
All right, oh, that's
how I like it, baby.
211
00:07:15,627 --> 00:07:17,194
All right.
212
00:07:17,763 --> 00:07:20,866
Sex, man.
It's the real stuff.
213
00:07:21,933 --> 00:07:23,768
I don't know
that I should help you.
214
00:07:23,835 --> 00:07:25,236
You're not a player.
215
00:07:25,304 --> 00:07:26,804
You're a clingy
serial monogamist
216
00:07:26,872 --> 00:07:30,507
with-- well, with a
terrible metabolism.
217
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:33,610
Schmidt, I need you...
218
00:07:35,512 --> 00:07:37,113
to teach me to be a douchebag.
219
00:07:37,181 --> 00:07:39,048
- Let's get to work.
- What's happening in the world?
220
00:07:41,718 --> 00:07:43,219
Hey, babe.
221
00:07:43,287 --> 00:07:44,720
Oh, hey, Cece.
222
00:07:44,788 --> 00:07:45,921
Doing some stretches?
223
00:07:45,989 --> 00:07:46,855
Good guess, model.
224
00:07:46,923 --> 00:07:47,990
No, just limbering up
225
00:07:48,057 --> 00:07:49,191
in case I want to have sex
226
00:07:49,259 --> 00:07:51,294
with one of your roommates.
227
00:07:51,361 --> 00:07:52,495
Do you want some company?
228
00:07:52,562 --> 00:07:54,029
What?
229
00:07:54,097 --> 00:07:56,499
- Do you want some company?
- I'm sorry. I can't hear you.
230
00:07:56,566 --> 00:07:57,667
Diane Keaton is talking
231
00:07:57,734 --> 00:08:00,302
about her rich life
full of loyal friends.
232
00:08:00,369 --> 00:08:01,603
Oh, Jess,
233
00:08:01,671 --> 00:08:02,837
I hate when we fight.
234
00:08:02,905 --> 00:08:04,406
I get so stressed out.
235
00:08:04,473 --> 00:08:05,774
I mean, my eye twitches back.
236
00:08:05,841 --> 00:08:07,375
I'm eating bread, all right?
237
00:08:07,943 --> 00:08:09,611
Just let me come
on this run with you.
238
00:08:09,679 --> 00:08:10,679
No!
239
00:08:10,746 --> 00:08:11,646
Seriously, Jess,
240
00:08:11,714 --> 00:08:13,415
it was just one secret.
241
00:08:13,482 --> 00:08:15,149
Everybody has got secrets.
242
00:08:15,217 --> 00:08:16,350
Good afternoon.
243
00:08:16,418 --> 00:08:19,052
Uh, my name is
Mr. Schmidt. M-R...
244
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,754
Not even a real chalkboard.
245
00:08:21,322 --> 00:08:23,116
First of all, Nick, congrats.
246
00:08:23,162 --> 00:08:24,729
- Thank you.
- You're meeting a lot of young women,
247
00:08:24,757 --> 00:08:26,658
and for whatever reason,
they seem to,
248
00:08:26,826 --> 00:08:27,990
you know, find you appealing.
249
00:08:28,026 --> 00:08:29,193
In the restaurant of life,
250
00:08:29,237 --> 00:08:31,504
you have selected
the tasting menu.
251
00:08:31,541 --> 00:08:33,259
Okay, I changed my mind.
I don't want to do this any more.
252
00:08:33,303 --> 00:08:34,870
Nick, you're terrible at lying,
253
00:08:34,928 --> 00:08:37,230
so what we want to do is,
we want to focus on
254
00:08:37,322 --> 00:08:39,025
S.S.V.
255
00:08:39,064 --> 00:08:40,297
I cannot believe
you slept with Cece.
256
00:08:40,342 --> 00:08:42,109
- Short, simple...
- Vagina.
257
00:08:42,161 --> 00:08:44,120
Vague. It's actually...
it's actually vague.
258
00:08:44,382 --> 00:08:46,683
Let's apply it. I'm one of these
young girls that's coming in here.
259
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:48,961
- I want to party. I'm in college.
Let's do this. - I'm in.
260
00:08:48,992 --> 00:08:50,180
Hey, what happened
to your phone?
261
00:08:50,350 --> 00:08:51,877
Jesus took it.
262
00:08:51,928 --> 00:08:53,462
A Jesus hawk on a speedboat.
263
00:08:53,561 --> 00:08:54,428
The environment.
264
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,628
Bears, family, magic.
265
00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:57,606
Mm-hmm.
266
00:08:57,654 --> 00:08:59,244
- I need your help, Schmidt.
- Yeah.
267
00:09:00,302 --> 00:09:01,904
I'm the girl, and
the whole objective
268
00:09:01,961 --> 00:09:03,228
is to get me out
of the front door
269
00:09:03,295 --> 00:09:05,663
as fast as you possibly can.
270
00:09:05,731 --> 00:09:06,897
Let's do this.
271
00:09:06,965 --> 00:09:08,199
- Ready?
- Yeah.
272
00:09:08,234 --> 00:09:10,601
- What's your name?
- My name is Janine, all right?
273
00:09:10,768 --> 00:09:11,635
God.
274
00:09:13,847 --> 00:09:15,582
- Don't make that sound.
- Good morning, Nick.
275
00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:16,925
You really gave it
to me good last night.
276
00:09:17,009 --> 00:09:18,926
You gave me the
full business, yeah.
277
00:09:19,157 --> 00:09:20,856
This is really weird, Schmidt.
278
00:09:20,917 --> 00:09:22,644
It's one of the weirder things
we've done, right?
279
00:09:22,709 --> 00:09:24,653
What you thinking, brown eyes?
Want to grab some brunch?
280
00:09:24,654 --> 00:09:25,932
Sure, Janine, that sounds fun.
281
00:09:26,011 --> 00:09:28,308
God-- no, you don't want to grab brunch.
282
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:29,706
- Okay.
- Come on, damn it, Nick.
283
00:09:29,757 --> 00:09:31,022
- I'm all turned around.
- Focus.
284
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,003
I just had sex with Janine.
285
00:09:32,056 --> 00:09:32,956
I have feelings for her.
286
00:09:32,991 --> 00:09:34,392
Yeah, so you're done.
287
00:09:34,538 --> 00:09:36,436
Oh, I just sleep with her
and then kick her out
288
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:37,835
like she's a piece of meat?
289
00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:39,966
- This is the problem.
- All right, ask me again, Schmidt.
290
00:09:40,062 --> 00:09:42,015
Okay, cowboy, want to
saddle up and go again?
291
00:09:42,047 --> 00:09:44,014
- No, sweetie, I can't.
- Good-- why can't you?
292
00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:46,306
- I got things to do.
I got plans. - You have work.
293
00:09:46,404 --> 00:09:47,936
Plans can be canceled.
294
00:09:47,937 --> 00:09:49,412
I don't want to
live in a house of lies.
295
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:51,364
I can't do it any more.
296
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,606
Is this happening, too?
297
00:09:52,642 --> 00:09:53,909
- No, this is not happening.
- No, this is not happening.
298
00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:55,751
This isn't what it looks like.
299
00:09:55,836 --> 00:09:58,936
Okay, look, fine, from now on,
we are going to be open
300
00:09:59,012 --> 00:10:00,313
and honest in this loft,
301
00:10:00,482 --> 00:10:01,682
and that means that
I have some secrets
302
00:10:01,750 --> 00:10:03,148
I want to get off my chest.
303
00:10:03,149 --> 00:10:04,938
- I'd rather not hear those.
- Nobody wants to hear these.
304
00:10:04,939 --> 00:10:07,008
Schmidt, a couple months ago
I found Nick
305
00:10:07,088 --> 00:10:09,227
using your chenille throw
as a napkin.
306
00:10:09,262 --> 00:10:11,714
That is a microfiber blend
from Pakistan, you heathen.
307
00:10:11,762 --> 00:10:14,029
- Stop quoting the catalog like a weirdo.
- Each heirloom-quality...
308
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,615
Good, this is healthy.
Air it out.
309
00:10:15,659 --> 00:10:16,800
All right, one more.
310
00:10:16,844 --> 00:10:19,383
Schmidt said that
Winston is in danger
311
00:10:19,426 --> 00:10:20,726
of becoming a nanny for life.
312
00:10:20,935 --> 00:10:23,002
He said you were
going "full Poppins."
313
00:10:23,070 --> 00:10:24,437
Okay, Winston, I can see
314
00:10:24,496 --> 00:10:25,459
anger in your eyes.
315
00:10:25,460 --> 00:10:26,912
Schmidt said he thinks
about you sometimes
316
00:10:26,913 --> 00:10:28,023
when he's making
love to himself.
317
00:10:28,058 --> 00:10:29,492
- What?
- One time.
318
00:10:29,544 --> 00:10:30,295
What?!
319
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,762
I thought about bangs
320
00:10:31,826 --> 00:10:34,290
and your face
just appeared beneath them.
321
00:10:34,414 --> 00:10:35,668
Okay, by the way,
322
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:36,964
like I'm the only one.
323
00:10:37,030 --> 00:10:39,164
Nick told me it
happened to him,
324
00:10:39,227 --> 00:10:40,827
- like, like, a bunch of times.
- Winston,
325
00:10:40,889 --> 00:10:42,879
you told me the first week
you got back from Latvia,
326
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,115
you had a sex dream about Jess,
and she had raccoon hands.
327
00:10:45,182 --> 00:10:47,117
- Dreams do not count.
- You've all thought about me
328
00:10:47,184 --> 00:10:49,653
- while self-completing?
- Yeah. Yeah.
329
00:10:49,721 --> 00:10:50,985
Look, Jess,
330
00:10:51,062 --> 00:10:52,566
it's not that big a deal.
331
00:10:52,657 --> 00:10:53,957
Really, it's,
332
00:10:54,025 --> 00:10:55,358
it's the sincerest
form of flattery.
333
00:10:55,426 --> 00:10:57,393
We're going back
to keeping secrets.
334
00:10:57,461 --> 00:10:59,529
When I walk through this
door and into my room,
335
00:10:59,596 --> 00:11:00,797
this conversation
never happened.
336
00:11:02,057 --> 00:11:05,326
Oh, my God!
337
00:11:05,892 --> 00:11:07,694
So, what did the
raccoon hands look like?
338
00:11:07,738 --> 00:11:10,807
Oh, man, they were digging
through the garbage.
339
00:11:23,253 --> 00:11:24,463
Oh, my God!
340
00:11:24,464 --> 00:11:26,098
Do not drink my almond milk
341
00:11:26,128 --> 00:11:29,214
when you spent the whole
night drinking Schmidt.
342
00:11:29,327 --> 00:11:31,527
Why are you dressed
like a Mexican wrestler?
343
00:11:31,595 --> 00:11:32,762
Because Cece,
344
00:11:32,830 --> 00:11:34,597
I don't want to live
in a world with secrets.
345
00:11:34,665 --> 00:11:36,232
And that means that I now know
346
00:11:36,299 --> 00:11:38,000
my three roommates
have all thought about me
347
00:11:38,068 --> 00:11:39,502
while self-completing.
348
00:11:39,570 --> 00:11:41,103
So, I'm gonna wear
my winter clothes
349
00:11:41,171 --> 00:11:42,386
until I can deal
with that fact.
350
00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:43,859
But it's better
than not knowing.
351
00:11:44,005 --> 00:11:45,778
- Is it really better?
- Yeah, it is.
352
00:11:45,810 --> 00:11:48,044
Jess, I don't want to fight
with you any more, okay?
353
00:11:48,045 --> 00:11:49,895
I said I was sorry.
354
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,747
We tell each other everything.
We always have.
355
00:11:51,814 --> 00:11:53,315
I've never not
told you something.
356
00:11:53,383 --> 00:11:55,784
That's what second base means?
357
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,454
Then I'm not a virgin any more.
358
00:11:59,789 --> 00:12:01,513
Is it weird that he wants me
359
00:12:01,514 --> 00:12:03,907
to talk in a deep voice
and call myself Kevin?
360
00:12:04,460 --> 00:12:07,966
I had a dream
that I killed you.
361
00:12:08,498 --> 00:12:10,899
You tell me everything,
all right?
362
00:12:10,966 --> 00:12:13,934
I stopped telling you everything
because every time I did,
363
00:12:14,002 --> 00:12:17,137
- you got so judgmental and critical.
- What?!
364
00:12:17,205 --> 00:12:19,072
I had to give it a try, Jess.
365
00:12:19,140 --> 00:12:21,742
I mean, that was the same hand
that was inside Elmo.
366
00:12:21,810 --> 00:12:23,210
Cece.
367
00:12:23,278 --> 00:12:25,579
Okay, yeah, you got me.
368
00:12:25,647 --> 00:12:27,247
You don't have secrets, Jess,
369
00:12:27,315 --> 00:12:29,181
because you never do
anything stupid.
370
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,187
- Look at me!
- With guys.
371
00:12:31,233 --> 00:12:33,812
So, living with Spencer
for six years was not a mistake?
372
00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,354
Cece, I'm not judging you.
373
00:12:35,423 --> 00:12:37,824
It's just... Schmidt?
374
00:12:37,892 --> 00:12:39,526
Judging. See what that is?
375
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,594
No. I'm not judging until now.
376
00:12:41,662 --> 00:12:43,195
Don't look at me!
377
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,663
Oh, Jess, would you please!
378
00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:47,165
A winter hat is not gonna
make us stop thinking
379
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,200
about you from time to time
when we delight ourselves.
380
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:50,736
Oh, no!
381
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:53,061
Hey, could you guys keep it
down? I have a lady visitor.
382
00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:53,939
Hi, Nick.
383
00:12:54,005 --> 00:12:55,311
Oh, I get it.
384
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,858
It's actually kind of
a fantasy of mine.
385
00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:58,942
Can you say the following words
out loud?
386
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:00,511
"The ice roads
are too dangerous!
387
00:13:00,579 --> 00:13:02,112
You're gonna have
to turn back, Chief."
388
00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:04,415
I'm not saying that.
389
00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:05,950
Okay.
390
00:13:06,817 --> 00:13:07,685
I want my scarf.
391
00:13:07,753 --> 00:13:09,854
It is 62 degrees out,
and I am freezing.
392
00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:12,757
No. I had work.
I-I have plans. I...
393
00:13:12,825 --> 00:13:15,059
- Get in there! Come on!
- Can I just pay you for the scarf?
394
00:13:15,126 --> 00:13:18,328
Fine. $25.
395
00:13:18,395 --> 00:13:20,029
25...! No, I'll just
help you look for it.
396
00:13:20,097 --> 00:13:23,967
Nick, where'd you go?
397
00:13:24,034 --> 00:13:25,802
Are you kidding me?
No, no, no. It's a bear.
398
00:13:25,870 --> 00:13:27,613
There's a magic bear in there!
That's all it is
399
00:13:27,614 --> 00:13:28,886
is a magic bear.
Just stop. Just...
400
00:13:29,152 --> 00:13:30,485
- Hey, Nick.
- Who is this?
401
00:13:30,507 --> 00:13:32,062
Can I have this circle scarf?
402
00:13:32,176 --> 00:13:33,330
It's my scarf.
403
00:13:33,823 --> 00:13:35,737
No.
404
00:13:35,912 --> 00:13:38,881
- It's my scarf!
- It's mine!
405
00:13:38,949 --> 00:13:40,191
It's mine!
It's mine!
406
00:13:40,192 --> 00:13:41,729
Nick, I just want you to know
407
00:13:41,730 --> 00:13:43,853
that I am not
judging you right now.
408
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,433
Oh, yeah.
Right, sure.
409
00:13:45,522 --> 00:13:46,922
Ladies, let's not do this.
410
00:13:46,990 --> 00:13:48,690
At least not
with our shirts on.
411
00:13:48,757 --> 00:13:50,382
Do you know how many things
I haven't told you?
412
00:13:50,383 --> 00:13:52,154
Nol I don't,
because, apparently,
413
00:13:52,155 --> 00:13:53,889
I don't know you at all.
414
00:13:53,891 --> 00:13:55,558
Are you running a 10K tomorrow?
415
00:13:55,695 --> 00:13:58,430
Who knows? Are you even
against MS any more?
416
00:13:58,490 --> 00:13:59,390
- Beats me!
- Ow! Ow! Ow!
417
00:13:59,450 --> 00:14:00,729
They've stopped
hitting each other,
418
00:14:00,730 --> 00:14:01,765
and they're just hitting me!
419
00:14:01,824 --> 00:14:03,403
All right, you want
to go? This New Year's,
420
00:14:03,472 --> 00:14:05,424
I wasn't at my parents' house.
421
00:14:05,425 --> 00:14:06,675
I was down in St. Barths
422
00:14:06,676 --> 00:14:09,216
with a guy who might
be an arms dealer.
423
00:14:09,217 --> 00:14:11,466
And my feet aren't
whiter than yours.
424
00:14:11,467 --> 00:14:14,189
I just told you that
to make you feel better.
425
00:14:14,247 --> 00:14:16,435
And when we were ten years old,
426
00:14:16,518 --> 00:14:18,704
I went to the movie My Girl
427
00:14:18,861 --> 00:14:23,418
with Jessica P
before I saw it with you!
428
00:14:23,502 --> 00:14:25,802
And... I own a motorcycle.
429
00:14:25,846 --> 00:14:27,264
Jessica P?!
430
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,290
Jessica freaking P?
431
00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:32,180
- Oh, my God, are you crying
under there now?! - No! No!
432
00:14:32,221 --> 00:14:33,755
- I think you are.
- No, I am not.
433
00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:35,374
All right, everybody stop!
434
00:14:36,754 --> 00:14:39,335
Wherever you are right now,
just sit down!
435
00:14:40,168 --> 00:14:41,896
Okay, now, Saturday
436
00:14:41,945 --> 00:14:43,244
is a day for sleeping,
437
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:44,375
and damn it, you will not
438
00:14:44,443 --> 00:14:45,443
take that away from me!
439
00:14:45,845 --> 00:14:47,443
You-- give her her scarf back.
440
00:14:47,557 --> 00:14:49,625
Finders keepers is not a thing.
441
00:14:49,949 --> 00:14:51,315
You-- get out of my house!
442
00:14:51,383 --> 00:14:52,350
Who are you?
443
00:14:52,418 --> 00:14:54,184
Who am I?
444
00:14:54,252 --> 00:14:57,855
Who am I? Well, I am
Theodore K. Mullins.
445
00:14:57,923 --> 00:15:00,705
And Nick is my lover
on the down low.
446
00:15:00,907 --> 00:15:02,954
Tell her, Nick.
Tell her how it really
447
00:15:02,994 --> 00:15:05,430
goes down in apartment 4D.
448
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,731
Oh, great Negro spiritual,
449
00:15:07,799 --> 00:15:09,966
please come down
and loose these chains
450
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,467
on this woman!
451
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:13,069
Flesh on flesh.
452
00:15:13,136 --> 00:15:14,070
When the lights are off,
453
00:15:14,137 --> 00:15:15,237
we are all the same.
454
00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:16,338
Not true.
455
00:15:16,406 --> 00:15:19,394
Dear lord, help me, Father!
456
00:15:20,194 --> 00:15:21,437
Get out of my house.
457
00:15:21,977 --> 00:15:23,853
Get out of my house!
458
00:15:23,981 --> 00:15:25,246
- Yeah. I'm out.
- I'm leaving.
459
00:15:25,314 --> 00:15:26,883
Hey, can you give me a ride?
460
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,900
- Get out.
- I'm gonna stop and get a manicure.
461
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,023
- Do you want to...?
- Okay. Yeah.
462
00:15:30,053 --> 00:15:32,217
You told Harpo to beat me?
463
00:15:32,260 --> 00:15:33,065
Bye, guys.
464
00:15:33,138 --> 00:15:34,573
You want them over me?
465
00:15:34,757 --> 00:15:36,625
Over me?! You...
466
00:15:36,693 --> 00:15:39,628
You're sweating so much,
it looks like rain, and you...
467
00:15:39,696 --> 00:15:40,992
You, you're peaking, man.
468
00:15:41,003 --> 00:15:42,933
You're at the prime
of your life. That's actually...
469
00:15:43,164 --> 00:15:46,634
Cece, get rid of the motorcycle!
And Jess, don't act like
470
00:15:46,702 --> 00:15:48,569
you haven't thought about us,
too, when you're going solo.
471
00:15:48,637 --> 00:15:50,981
Okay? I don't work a
9:00-to-5:00. I'm here all day.
472
00:15:50,982 --> 00:15:52,217
I can hear you!
473
00:15:52,398 --> 00:15:53,698
Now, go away,
474
00:15:53,938 --> 00:15:56,930
because I'm... having cereal.
475
00:16:11,158 --> 00:16:12,891
Runners, take their marks.
476
00:16:12,959 --> 00:16:14,159
# Around with them #
477
00:16:16,262 --> 00:16:18,563
# I don't want to walk
around with them #
478
00:16:18,632 --> 00:16:20,633
# 'Cause I don't want
to walk around with them #
479
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:22,300
# Ooh, ooh, ooh #
480
00:16:22,368 --> 00:16:24,036
# I don't want to walk
around with them #
481
00:16:24,104 --> 00:16:25,738
# Ooh, ooh, ooh #
482
00:16:25,805 --> 00:16:27,940
# I don't want to walk around
with them... #
483
00:16:29,608 --> 00:16:31,208
Why do all female runners look
484
00:16:31,276 --> 00:16:33,011
like old German women
when they run?
485
00:16:33,078 --> 00:16:35,312
Oh, boy, look at her glisten!
486
00:16:35,380 --> 00:16:36,948
Oh, Cece.
487
00:16:37,016 --> 00:16:39,117
That sports bra is doing
God's work right now.
488
00:16:39,184 --> 00:16:42,353
- Two months. - I can't stop.
I got to beat Jess.
489
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,488
What are you...?
What is wrong with you, sir?
490
00:16:44,556 --> 00:16:46,134
That is Cece's water!
491
00:16:46,189 --> 00:16:47,283
You animal!
492
00:16:47,336 --> 00:16:48,996
This thing with our girls
has gotten out of control.
493
00:16:49,026 --> 00:16:49,926
Our girls?
494
00:16:49,994 --> 00:16:51,561
Yeah, it makes me really sad
495
00:16:51,629 --> 00:16:53,213
to see them fighting
over me like this.
496
00:16:53,257 --> 00:16:54,937
Then why are you smiling?
497
00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:57,813
Have you guys...
seen... Cece?
498
00:16:57,985 --> 00:16:59,319
Yeah, she's way down there.
499
00:16:59,398 --> 00:17:00,430
Hasn't even broken a sweat.
500
00:17:00,504 --> 00:17:02,838
Jess, okay.
Jess, arms up.
501
00:17:02,906 --> 00:17:05,174
Arms up. I need you
long and loose like sea grass.
502
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:07,910
Moving. Move...
503
00:17:07,978 --> 00:17:09,879
Oh, my God, why?!
- I'm sorry.
504
00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:11,313
I'm just mad at you.
505
00:17:11,381 --> 00:17:13,883
My adrenaline is going.
506
00:17:16,719 --> 00:17:17,952
Did you make that?
507
00:17:18,020 --> 00:17:20,822
- What?
- And Cece let you wear it?
508
00:17:20,890 --> 00:17:22,223
What? She thought it was funny.
509
00:17:25,660 --> 00:17:27,395
Cece! Cece?
510
00:17:28,462 --> 00:17:30,064
- Cece!
- What's that about, man?
511
00:17:30,131 --> 00:17:31,832
I mean, I think the shirt's
pretty funny, no?
512
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:33,400
- Not funny at all.
- Puns are creepy,
513
00:17:33,467 --> 00:17:35,484
- and they freak me out,
and you know that. - I like it.
514
00:17:35,485 --> 00:17:37,592
Nick!
- Oh, no, no, no.
515
00:17:37,593 --> 00:17:39,090
I hooked up with both
those girls last week.
516
00:17:39,139 --> 00:17:40,039
I didn't know they knew
517
00:17:40,107 --> 00:17:41,795
each other. I thought they just
lived in the same apartment.
518
00:17:41,796 --> 00:17:45,030
- Why didn't you call me? - Why didn't you
tell me you hooked up with my roommate?
519
00:17:45,092 --> 00:17:47,726
I don't...
520
00:17:49,482 --> 00:17:50,449
Willow, I didn't call you
521
00:17:50,517 --> 00:17:52,719
because I had
a family emergency.
522
00:17:53,186 --> 00:17:54,622
Is everything okay?
523
00:17:54,787 --> 00:17:55,955
Yes, it is.
524
00:17:56,023 --> 00:17:58,257
And Megan, I didn't tell you
about Willow because
525
00:17:58,325 --> 00:18:00,492
the moment we had was
so beautiful and intense,
526
00:18:01,060 --> 00:18:02,061
that for a second I thought
527
00:18:02,129 --> 00:18:04,097
we were the only people
on the planet.
528
00:18:04,664 --> 00:18:07,165
Oh. Okay.
529
00:18:07,233 --> 00:18:08,834
Well, we'll see you later.
530
00:18:08,901 --> 00:18:10,435
- Bye.
- Bye, guys.
531
00:18:11,502 --> 00:18:12,637
It worked.
532
00:18:13,204 --> 00:18:14,339
Where did that come from?
533
00:18:14,406 --> 00:18:16,307
I don't know.
I'm trembling, but it worked.
534
00:18:16,675 --> 00:18:19,211
That was so good
my pants just got tight, Nick.
535
00:18:19,278 --> 00:18:22,761
- Oh, God, now I hate me as much
as I've always hated you. - Skin.
536
00:18:22,762 --> 00:18:24,369
- See, I have to do this now.
- No, you don't. Don't do it.
537
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,129
- Yes, I do. - Skin.
- All you have to do is just not do it.
538
00:18:26,182 --> 00:18:28,212
I have to.
No, because it works.
539
00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,680
Cece?
540
00:18:32,977 --> 00:18:36,478
Cece, I can't... breathe.
541
00:18:36,546 --> 00:18:39,949
Cece, I know why you didn't tell
me about Schmidt-- because
542
00:18:40,017 --> 00:18:41,484
you like him!
543
00:18:41,552 --> 00:18:42,619
What?!
544
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:43,920
The shirt, Cece.
545
00:18:44,276 --> 00:18:46,492
You thought the shirt
he made was funny.
546
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:48,982
You obviously like him.
547
00:18:49,126 --> 00:18:52,532
It's the only explanation
for thinking that's funny.
548
00:18:52,861 --> 00:18:55,097
Oh, my God,
I think you're right.
549
00:18:55,098 --> 00:18:56,353
And you didn't want to tell me
550
00:18:56,354 --> 00:18:57,705
'cause you knew
that I would know.
551
00:18:57,706 --> 00:18:59,838
And you weren't ready
to admit it to yourself.
552
00:19:01,295 --> 00:19:03,103
Okay, can we just say
that I didn't tell you
553
00:19:03,111 --> 00:19:04,174
because I'm a total bitch?
554
00:19:04,175 --> 00:19:06,742
'Cause I'm way more
comfortable with that.
555
00:19:07,309 --> 00:19:10,244
Oh, maybe I like Schmidt.
556
00:19:11,007 --> 00:19:13,509
You... You can't
tell anyone.
557
00:19:13,584 --> 00:19:17,097
Yeah. That's like a secret
only I know.
558
00:19:17,191 --> 00:19:18,025
Heads up.
559
00:19:18,068 --> 00:19:19,368
I'm-I'm peeing.
560
00:19:19,694 --> 00:19:21,295
Oh, my God.
561
00:19:21,449 --> 00:19:22,817
Okay, come on.
We got to finish.
562
00:19:22,932 --> 00:19:24,766
Oh! No!
563
00:19:24,959 --> 00:19:26,392
Oh, come on, man.
Come on, dude!
564
00:19:28,629 --> 00:19:31,196
Hey, here they come.
Here they come.
565
00:19:31,264 --> 00:19:33,298
Come on, guys!
Let's go!
566
00:19:33,366 --> 00:19:34,767
Come on, ladies!
Be strong!
567
00:19:34,835 --> 00:19:36,201
Come on!
Come on, ladies!
568
00:19:36,269 --> 00:19:37,837
- Come on, guys.
- All right, let's go!
569
00:19:37,904 --> 00:19:39,404
Come on...
Come on...
570
00:19:39,473 --> 00:19:41,807
- Finish strong!
- Good job, guys.
571
00:19:43,710 --> 00:19:45,443
Winner! Oh, man.
572
00:19:45,871 --> 00:19:46,877
Thanks for waiting, man.
573
00:19:46,945 --> 00:19:48,045
Hey, thanks for the ten bucks.
574
00:19:48,613 --> 00:19:50,114
Guess what, you guys.
575
00:19:50,182 --> 00:19:52,850
- My shoes are filled with blood!
- Oh, God.
576
00:19:52,917 --> 00:19:54,118
I think it's time to go home.
A little help. Come on.
577
00:19:54,186 --> 00:19:55,854
All right, Cece,
I got her, I got her.
578
00:19:55,921 --> 00:19:57,221
All right.
Okay, Jess, here we go.
579
00:19:57,289 --> 00:19:58,756
Okay, Schmidt, grab her feet.
580
00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:00,660
- All right, there we go.
- Lead us away.
581
00:20:00,693 --> 00:20:02,125
Good job, Jess.
582
00:20:02,193 --> 00:20:03,694
Real proud of you.
583
00:20:04,761 --> 00:20:06,464
What are you doing
to that basil, Cece?
584
00:20:06,484 --> 00:20:07,577
You trying to make it confess?
585
00:20:07,578 --> 00:20:09,976
Easy with the knife,
Robespierre.
586
00:20:10,101 --> 00:20:11,701
I will cut off
your weaker fingers, Schmidt,
587
00:20:11,768 --> 00:20:13,669
and I'm gonna start
with your pinky.
588
00:20:13,737 --> 00:20:15,605
You guys are adorable.
589
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:17,107
We are not adorable.
590
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,907
Okay? We are just
two people having
591
00:20:18,975 --> 00:20:21,076
casual, successful sex.
592
00:20:21,144 --> 00:20:22,511
My bad.
593
00:20:22,578 --> 00:20:23,946
Please.
594
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,348
All right.
I can't stand this heat.
595
00:20:26,416 --> 00:20:28,183
I gonna get out of the kitchen.
596
00:20:30,353 --> 00:20:31,888
Ow. Ow.
597
00:20:31,955 --> 00:20:33,688
You should really
stretch, Jess.
598
00:20:33,756 --> 00:20:34,756
Ow.
599
00:20:34,758 --> 00:20:38,092
You know, Jess thinking
that we're a cute couple is...
600
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,595
I don't... It's
kind of a turnoff.
601
00:20:40,663 --> 00:20:43,297
How do we explain to her that
this is just... it's just sex?
602
00:20:43,365 --> 00:20:44,733
Mm-hmm.
603
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,468
What is that?
604
00:20:47,982 --> 00:20:50,771
That is shoddy
workmanship is what that is.
605
00:20:50,874 --> 00:20:51,985
I'm taking you off prep.
606
00:20:51,986 --> 00:20:53,231
Go clean the garbanzo beans.
607
00:20:53,232 --> 00:20:55,167
- I'm taking my knife.
- Be careful with that knife.
608
00:20:55,235 --> 00:20:56,668
It's from Japan.
609
00:20:58,446 --> 00:21:02,550
Why? Why, Cece?
610
00:21:02,617 --> 00:21:04,384
Why am I sleeping with Schmidt?
611
00:21:04,452 --> 00:21:05,552
Is it a pity thing?
612
00:21:06,619 --> 00:21:08,120
Is he sick?
613
00:21:08,788 --> 00:21:10,358
Are you working
for the government?
614
00:21:10,388 --> 00:21:12,338
Damn it, he's holding you
against your will, isn't he?
615
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:14,397
If he is holding you
against your will, blink twice.
616
00:21:15,495 --> 00:21:19,599
Blink twice.
617
00:21:19,667 --> 00:21:21,500
Are you tired
of being turned on?
618
00:21:22,247 --> 00:21:25,081
Hmm? You have a mole fetish?
619
00:21:29,441 --> 00:21:30,776
Is it huge?
620
00:21:31,121 --> 00:21:34,064
I'm sorry. Let me rephrase that.
621
00:21:34,612 --> 00:21:35,614
Is it huge?