1 00:00:00,701 --> 00:00:03,264 - Here you guys go. Some cookies. - Wow. 2 00:00:03,266 --> 00:00:04,273 Okay, great. Um, 3 00:00:04,274 --> 00:00:05,587 as you guys know, I'm moving in 4 00:00:05,615 --> 00:00:07,251 with Caroline, and I'm glad we can 5 00:00:07,266 --> 00:00:08,798 talk about this like adults. 6 00:00:08,831 --> 00:00:11,634 Caroline is, uh, quite the baker. 7 00:00:11,725 --> 00:00:12,641 Anything else, anyone? 8 00:00:12,662 --> 00:00:14,232 You're making a huge, 9 00:00:14,263 --> 00:00:16,396 life-ruining mistake by moving in 10 00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:17,811 with a woman who turned you 11 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:19,169 into an agoraphobic, 12 00:00:19,217 --> 00:00:21,750 turtle-faced, borderline alcoholic. 13 00:00:22,286 --> 00:00:23,560 I'm going to start over, 14 00:00:23,603 --> 00:00:25,618 'cause this did not go the way I had planned. 15 00:00:27,081 --> 00:00:29,519 As you guys know, I'm leaving, so there are some things 16 00:00:29,537 --> 00:00:31,556 - we need to work out. - Yeah, like, what am I going to do 17 00:00:31,557 --> 00:00:33,582 with all that extra money I have now that I don't 18 00:00:33,583 --> 00:00:34,888 - have to cover for you any more? - Okay. 19 00:00:34,912 --> 00:00:37,198 - Maybe I'll buy a city. - Oh, and you can open a mall 20 00:00:37,261 --> 00:00:39,948 - And call it Winston's Corners. - What are you guys doing? 21 00:00:39,963 --> 00:00:41,557 You're just sitting here and letting this happen? 22 00:00:41,589 --> 00:00:42,533 What else are we going to do? 23 00:00:42,561 --> 00:00:43,756 The guy obviously knows what he wants. 24 00:00:43,779 --> 00:00:44,967 - I do. - When Nick leaves, 25 00:00:44,990 --> 00:00:46,608 I'm going to call a plumber and just 26 00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:48,327 throw cash at him while he works. 27 00:00:48,374 --> 00:00:50,240 Fitties and hunnits, hunnits, hunnits. 28 00:00:50,264 --> 00:00:52,187 Look, while you're at it, can you please call an exterminator 29 00:00:52,232 --> 00:00:53,757 so we can get rid of that crime against nature? 30 00:00:53,772 --> 00:00:55,382 Yeah, he's not fooling anyone. 31 00:00:55,405 --> 00:00:56,387 You think, just 'cause he's 32 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,356 a snappy dresser, the mice don't see the hammer? 33 00:00:58,645 --> 00:01:00,387 Mice come from all over the building 34 00:01:00,416 --> 00:01:02,169 to laugh at that dummy witch. 35 00:01:02,186 --> 00:01:03,892 Is this a freaking carob chip? 36 00:01:03,926 --> 00:01:05,148 What, are you trying to buy our love 37 00:01:05,184 --> 00:01:06,247 with hippie chocolate? 38 00:01:06,624 --> 00:01:08,564 You idiot. 39 00:01:08,565 --> 00:01:10,112 Aren't you going to miss this, Nick? 40 00:01:10,516 --> 00:01:13,015 # Who's that girl? # # Who's that girl? # 41 00:01:13,245 --> 00:01:16,740 1x24 - See Ya - 42 00:01:18,157 --> 00:01:19,985 Winston, can you take me to the doctor tomorrow? 43 00:01:20,001 --> 00:01:21,991 - He's taking the bandages off. - Wow. 44 00:01:21,992 --> 00:01:23,717 The old Washington Monument. 45 00:01:23,727 --> 00:01:25,969 Ready to serve this great nation once again. 46 00:01:25,996 --> 00:01:27,046 - Can you stop? - What? 47 00:01:27,047 --> 00:01:29,031 It's time to make this horse into a unicorn. 48 00:01:29,032 --> 00:01:31,015 Can we save this talk until after we're done 49 00:01:31,016 --> 00:01:32,977 interviewing Neil here to take Nick's room? 50 00:01:32,978 --> 00:01:34,067 Hey, don't worry about me. 51 00:01:34,068 --> 00:01:36,999 I could talk about my dingus all night long. 52 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,039 Neil, tell us about yourself-- you know, uh, anything 53 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:40,981 we should know, aside from the fact 54 00:01:40,982 --> 00:01:43,075 that you responded to our Craigslist ad with a fax? 55 00:01:43,076 --> 00:01:45,982 Well, um, yeah, my name is Neil. 56 00:01:45,983 --> 00:01:49,053 Um, just coming out of a pretty hairy divorce. 57 00:01:49,054 --> 00:01:50,999 I am in human resources. 58 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,033 Well, I used to be. 59 00:01:52,034 --> 00:01:54,237 I had the unique, uh, experience 60 00:01:54,260 --> 00:01:56,009 of having to let myself go. 61 00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:59,330 - I did not take it well. - Let me ask you a question. 62 00:01:59,351 --> 00:02:01,377 I would love for you to save your questions till the end. 63 00:02:01,402 --> 00:02:03,027 Are you going to be a wuss about things 64 00:02:03,055 --> 00:02:05,618 - like crabs and bedbugs? - Like, crabs from Maine? 65 00:02:05,637 --> 00:02:08,801 I hope you like feminist rants, 'cause that's kind of my thing. 66 00:02:08,831 --> 00:02:10,408 Neil, she's just saying this to scare you. 67 00:02:10,410 --> 00:02:11,957 What are you... 68 00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:14,000 - What are you doing? - Shut up. 69 00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:15,695 I'm a cutter. 70 00:02:15,721 --> 00:02:17,550 Neil, uh, I want you to give us a minute, okay? 71 00:02:17,558 --> 00:02:18,777 I got to go talk to my roommates 72 00:02:18,823 --> 00:02:20,780 - in the bathroom. Guys? - Okay. - Yeah. 73 00:02:20,812 --> 00:02:22,251 You're acting insane. 74 00:02:22,290 --> 00:02:24,606 I'm acting insane? That guy's insane. 75 00:02:24,636 --> 00:02:27,009 Look, Jess, when you moved in, we all had to roll with it. 76 00:02:27,034 --> 00:02:29,990 To be fair, you do some pretty weird stuff. 77 00:02:29,991 --> 00:02:31,533 You know, I still can't get used to the way 78 00:02:31,548 --> 00:02:33,502 you let us know when you're using the toilet. 79 00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:38,555 I'm good with Neil. 80 00:02:38,584 --> 00:02:41,424 - I am, too. - What are you guys doing? 81 00:02:41,522 --> 00:02:43,171 Nick's leaving. 82 00:02:43,490 --> 00:02:44,694 You're his friends. 83 00:02:44,742 --> 00:02:46,926 Aren't you going to fight for him to stay? 84 00:02:46,991 --> 00:02:48,049 You're in. 85 00:02:48,050 --> 00:02:49,990 Ah, yes! Okay. 86 00:02:49,991 --> 00:02:51,071 And get ready for songs, 87 00:02:51,072 --> 00:02:54,024 'cause I am kind of a troubadour. 88 00:02:54,025 --> 00:02:56,986 This is happening, Nick. This is happening. 89 00:02:56,987 --> 00:02:58,962 Whoa, whoa! Why you taking back your lamp? 90 00:02:58,963 --> 00:03:00,330 I think you just answered that 91 00:03:00,371 --> 00:03:01,730 when you called it my lamp. 92 00:03:01,805 --> 00:03:03,600 No, man. Squatters' rights. 93 00:03:03,652 --> 00:03:05,474 What's wrong? You still afraid of the dark? 94 00:03:05,516 --> 00:03:06,772 What? No. Dude. 95 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:07,891 'Cause, if you are, 96 00:03:08,001 --> 00:03:09,982 I'll leave this behind. 97 00:03:09,983 --> 00:03:11,977 Nick, first of all, I'm not afraid of the dark. 98 00:03:11,978 --> 00:03:13,033 But if I were afraid of the dark, 99 00:03:13,034 --> 00:03:14,978 that would be a totally rational, 100 00:03:14,979 --> 00:03:16,557 adaptive evolutionary response. 101 00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,526 - Good night, Winston. - That's ridiculous. 102 00:03:18,549 --> 00:03:19,606 I'm not afraid of the dark. 103 00:03:19,638 --> 00:03:20,946 Good night, sweetheart. 104 00:03:21,421 --> 00:03:24,395 Unless the monsters get you. 105 00:03:29,037 --> 00:03:31,020 Hey. 106 00:03:31,021 --> 00:03:33,028 You came. 107 00:03:34,979 --> 00:03:36,032 Whoa. 108 00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:37,978 What you got in there? 109 00:03:37,979 --> 00:03:38,987 It's a hard cast. 110 00:03:38,988 --> 00:03:40,995 Yeah, things didn't go 111 00:03:40,996 --> 00:03:42,995 quite like we had hoped at the doctor. 112 00:03:42,996 --> 00:03:44,998 Yeah, so I told the guy I had never been snowmobiling 113 00:03:44,999 --> 00:03:46,012 in my life, you know, and... 114 00:03:46,013 --> 00:03:48,603 Oh, God! 115 00:03:48,635 --> 00:03:49,849 That's not my penis. 116 00:03:49,870 --> 00:03:51,256 But look, on the bright side, 117 00:03:51,275 --> 00:03:54,008 it is impossible for me to get aroused in this thing. 118 00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:56,142 Here, watch-- say something hot to me. 119 00:03:58,030 --> 00:04:01,016 Fresh-pressed linens. 120 00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:04,519 Nope, nothing. 121 00:04:04,606 --> 00:04:05,923 Not an inch. 122 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,996 - Like a swaddled baby. - Hey, Cece. 123 00:04:07,999 --> 00:04:09,752 - They're ready for us. - Oh, okay. 124 00:04:09,794 --> 00:04:11,783 Just hang out, okay? Have fun. 125 00:04:16,062 --> 00:04:18,004 That's right. Ride that missile. 126 00:04:18,005 --> 00:04:19,066 Grip it. Yeah. 127 00:04:19,067 --> 00:04:21,039 You've got a whole tank full of jet fuel. 128 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,987 You're heading straight for the sun. 129 00:04:22,988 --> 00:04:24,990 What the hell war is this? 130 00:04:24,991 --> 00:04:26,845 - All right, turn around and face him. Am-am I... 131 00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:28,589 Am I supposed to want to buy a missile? 132 00:04:28,620 --> 00:04:29,902 I don't understand. 133 00:04:29,942 --> 00:04:31,903 Just pounding the drum of war. 134 00:04:32,092 --> 00:04:34,536 What-what, did no one listen to Eisenhower? 135 00:04:35,983 --> 00:04:37,044 All right, so that's everything. 136 00:04:37,045 --> 00:04:39,025 I took my fair share of rubber bands, 137 00:04:39,026 --> 00:04:41,007 so I don't want to hear about it. 138 00:04:41,008 --> 00:04:43,028 In my room, you will find a shoe box. 139 00:04:43,779 --> 00:04:45,986 In that box, there is a guinea pig 140 00:04:45,987 --> 00:04:47,978 that I said I would bury, 141 00:04:47,979 --> 00:04:49,784 - so please deal with it. - There's a corpse in your room? 142 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,377 All right, guys, well, thanks for helping me move. 143 00:04:51,384 --> 00:04:52,697 What are we standing in a circle for, 144 00:04:52,719 --> 00:04:53,933 like a bunch of weirdos? Let's go. 145 00:04:53,997 --> 00:04:54,999 Hey, Nick? 146 00:04:55,460 --> 00:04:56,406 Yeah. 147 00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:57,955 Why are you rushing this? 148 00:04:58,004 --> 00:04:59,375 You have so much time. 149 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:00,734 Why not just... 150 00:05:00,756 --> 00:05:02,956 take a second and think about this? 151 00:05:03,008 --> 00:05:04,052 I feel confident. 152 00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:06,017 I-I couldn't be more confident, Jess. 153 00:05:06,018 --> 00:05:09,029 - Are you? - Yeah. 154 00:05:09,032 --> 00:05:11,025 - Are you? - Yes. 155 00:05:11,026 --> 00:05:12,054 Are you really? 156 00:05:12,555 --> 00:05:14,046 Thanks for helping me move. 157 00:05:27,075 --> 00:05:30,982 I love the way he smelled. 158 00:05:30,983 --> 00:05:33,978 Caroline and I are starting a whole new life together. 159 00:05:33,979 --> 00:05:35,029 Right now, we're trying to decide 160 00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:38,036 between eggshell and soft mint for the walls. 161 00:05:38,037 --> 00:05:41,070 My gut says that eggshell is trying too hard, 162 00:05:41,071 --> 00:05:44,555 but soft mint is really tricky to match. 163 00:05:44,576 --> 00:05:46,498 Have I told you guys about the bay windows I'm going to have? 164 00:05:46,536 --> 00:05:47,850 - Yes, you have. - Yeah, you just did. 165 00:05:47,883 --> 00:05:49,406 They are stunning, right? 166 00:05:50,185 --> 00:05:53,545 I'm going to curl up in those like a damn cat. 167 00:05:53,647 --> 00:05:56,026 - That's the place. That's-that'sthe place right there? 168 00:05:56,074 --> 00:05:57,978 Right there, yeah. 169 00:05:57,979 --> 00:05:59,033 Aren't you going to stop? 170 00:05:59,034 --> 00:06:00,995 Yeah, seems like I should. 171 00:06:00,996 --> 00:06:02,046 Um, hey-hey, Nick. 172 00:06:02,047 --> 00:06:03,979 - Yeah. - What are you doing? 173 00:06:03,982 --> 00:06:07,025 - I'm freaking out! Yeah! - What are you...? 174 00:06:07,028 --> 00:06:08,544 Oh, no. 175 00:06:08,611 --> 00:06:10,588 Oh, Nick Miller's freaking out again! 176 00:06:10,625 --> 00:06:11,896 Whoop-de-whoo. 177 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,088 What's new? 178 00:06:21,554 --> 00:06:22,893 Come on! 179 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,493 What the hell? You think he's okay, man? 180 00:06:24,516 --> 00:06:26,178 Oh, no, no, no, he's totally fine. 181 00:06:26,193 --> 00:06:27,226 We do this every day. 182 00:06:27,227 --> 00:06:29,186 We just never invite you, Winston. 183 00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:31,799 What have I done?! 184 00:06:31,812 --> 00:06:33,140 Hey, Nick, I'm pretty sure 185 00:06:33,163 --> 00:06:35,862 you overshot the apartment by like 140 miles! 186 00:06:35,894 --> 00:06:37,651 Let's just hop back in the truck, 187 00:06:37,718 --> 00:06:38,917 turn around and go home. 188 00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:41,845 - Yeah, yeah, you're right. - Okay? - Okay. 189 00:06:41,861 --> 00:06:44,616 - This is crazy that I drove out here. - Yeah, it is. 190 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,297 Give me the keys. I'll drive you back to Caroline. 191 00:06:46,299 --> 00:06:48,840 Caroline... no! 192 00:06:50,670 --> 00:06:52,808 Well, that was unexpected. 193 00:06:52,929 --> 00:06:56,173 # I like to move in, move in, I like to move in, move in # 194 00:06:56,186 --> 00:06:58,185 # I like to # 195 00:06:58,186 --> 00:06:59,206 # Move in. # 196 00:06:59,207 --> 00:07:02,186 I like it quiet, quiet. 197 00:07:04,194 --> 00:07:05,232 Okay, I rode up 198 00:07:05,233 --> 00:07:06,725 in the elevator with that guy, 199 00:07:06,732 --> 00:07:08,897 and something growled in that box. 200 00:07:08,951 --> 00:07:10,984 I hope he has a pet. That would cheer me up. 201 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,181 Um, is Schmidt here? 202 00:07:12,202 --> 00:07:15,145 No, he's helping Nick move-- but, uh, Neil is. 203 00:07:15,203 --> 00:07:17,248 Do you want to do a sex-only thing with him? 204 00:07:17,249 --> 00:07:21,273 He came by my shoot earlier and was so jealous. 205 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:24,235 He was freaking out the entire time. 206 00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:26,194 Oh. 207 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,265 It's him, so... 208 00:07:28,266 --> 00:07:29,256 Hi, Schmidt. 209 00:07:29,257 --> 00:07:31,189 How's it going? 210 00:07:31,190 --> 00:07:32,255 How's the new apartment? 211 00:07:32,256 --> 00:07:34,270 Does it smell like, uh, new paint and compromise? 212 00:07:34,771 --> 00:07:36,181 What? 213 00:07:36,182 --> 00:07:37,248 Where? 214 00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:39,215 - There's not much sunlight left. - What are you 215 00:07:39,218 --> 00:07:41,278 - afraid of, the dark? - No, I'm not afraid of the dark. 216 00:07:41,279 --> 00:07:43,278 Worried about Schmidt. He's a Jew in the desert. 217 00:07:43,279 --> 00:07:45,236 I don't want him to wander. 218 00:07:45,239 --> 00:07:47,252 That's Caroline. Now, what do I tell her? 219 00:07:47,253 --> 00:07:49,273 Tell her there's freaking fire ants everywhere. 220 00:07:49,274 --> 00:07:51,193 Give me a sec. 221 00:07:51,194 --> 00:07:51,797 Hey. 222 00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:53,165 Nick, where are you? 223 00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:54,273 In the desert. 224 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:55,569 The what? 225 00:07:55,595 --> 00:07:57,094 Yeah, I kind of... 226 00:07:57,719 --> 00:07:59,767 I kind of freaked out. 227 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,183 Look, I know it's a lot. 228 00:08:02,527 --> 00:08:04,399 Just get back here 229 00:08:04,406 --> 00:08:06,177 as soon as you can, and we'll... 230 00:08:06,215 --> 00:08:07,974 we'll figure it out. 231 00:08:08,025 --> 00:08:09,087 Really? 232 00:08:10,104 --> 00:08:11,854 I love you. 233 00:08:11,974 --> 00:08:13,487 I love you, too. 234 00:08:19,257 --> 00:08:21,273 Think I overreacted by throwing my keys earlier. 235 00:08:21,274 --> 00:08:23,203 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. I don't know why 236 00:08:23,206 --> 00:08:24,983 I ever doubted Caroline. She's the best. 237 00:08:25,008 --> 00:08:27,393 So, why the hell would you throw your damn keys away?! 238 00:08:27,454 --> 00:08:28,253 I deserve this. 239 00:08:28,256 --> 00:08:31,186 - I'm going to kill you! - Hey, Winston, no. 240 00:08:31,189 --> 00:08:33,232 - The boat is going down! - All right, all right. 241 00:08:33,235 --> 00:08:35,211 - Calm down. Nick! - I'll kill you! I'll kill you! 242 00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:37,203 Enough! 243 00:08:37,218 --> 00:08:38,977 Would you stop it? There's violence everywhere! 244 00:08:39,003 --> 00:08:40,968 Why are we fighting? Why are we fighting? 245 00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:44,198 Oh, good. 246 00:08:44,199 --> 00:08:45,252 Oh, thank God. 247 00:08:45,253 --> 00:08:47,193 Hey, Jess! 248 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,222 What took you so long? 249 00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:49,513 Let me tell you something-- you never want 250 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,940 to lose a race against the night. 251 00:08:50,968 --> 00:08:52,629 Nice new place, Nick. 252 00:08:52,655 --> 00:08:54,489 - It's very spacious. - Yes, I'm an idiot, Jess. 253 00:08:54,505 --> 00:08:56,136 - Really nice. - Hey. 254 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,825 That's for you. 255 00:08:57,847 --> 00:08:58,976 What happened at the shoot? 256 00:08:59,007 --> 00:09:00,039 You... you kind of left 257 00:09:00,079 --> 00:09:01,646 before I had a chance to say good-bye. 258 00:09:01,669 --> 00:09:03,155 Good stuff, sure. 259 00:09:03,179 --> 00:09:04,649 It was hard to tell where you stopped 260 00:09:04,681 --> 00:09:06,720 and Goggles McHardBody began. 261 00:09:07,056 --> 00:09:09,014 That's my job. 262 00:09:09,109 --> 00:09:11,171 Gino is just some guy that I see around the office, 263 00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:13,731 except for, in my office, they rub us down 264 00:09:13,738 --> 00:09:15,917 - with baby oil before we start. - Yeah, I-I get that. 265 00:09:15,966 --> 00:09:17,996 Look, your business is selling sex. 266 00:09:18,060 --> 00:09:20,169 Sure, you're a sex worker. 267 00:09:20,190 --> 00:09:21,869 You're an idiot. 268 00:09:22,097 --> 00:09:23,847 If we leave right now, 269 00:09:23,892 --> 00:09:25,767 I can get back to Caroline by 8:00. 270 00:09:25,827 --> 00:09:26,647 Caroline? 271 00:09:26,663 --> 00:09:29,223 Yeah, I-I changed my mind. Gonna move in. 272 00:09:29,249 --> 00:09:31,201 Yeah, and I actually don't even care about this truck. 273 00:09:31,202 --> 00:09:32,222 I'll come back and get it tomorrow. 274 00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:33,253 I say we just leave now, 275 00:09:33,254 --> 00:09:34,843 - get out of the desert. - Sounds good. 276 00:09:34,876 --> 00:09:36,212 - Sounds good. - Here's my question. 277 00:09:36,252 --> 00:09:38,228 - What's that? - How are you going to get there? 278 00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,517 Uh, I think you're going to drive me. 279 00:09:39,547 --> 00:09:41,252 - Oh, I don't think so. - Wait. What? 280 00:09:41,253 --> 00:09:42,789 - Then why'd you come out to the desert? - What?! 281 00:09:42,805 --> 00:09:44,776 - What? What are you doing? - Jess. 282 00:09:44,802 --> 00:09:46,106 - Jess! - No! 283 00:09:46,231 --> 00:09:48,189 Come on! 284 00:09:48,190 --> 00:09:49,244 People, just please listen to me. 285 00:09:49,245 --> 00:09:52,202 Stop throwing your damn keys! 286 00:09:52,203 --> 00:09:54,192 The werewolves come out at night, man. 287 00:09:54,193 --> 00:09:55,274 I don't want nobody to eat me! 288 00:09:55,275 --> 00:09:58,220 - I got big thighs. I got a fat ass. - Relax. 289 00:09:58,221 --> 00:10:00,010 We are in the middle of the desert, and nobody 290 00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,721 - is going to find our bodies! - Come here. 291 00:10:01,755 --> 00:10:03,416 - What? - You're having a nervous breakdown. 292 00:10:03,431 --> 00:10:04,939 You're having a nervous breakdown. 293 00:10:06,290 --> 00:10:07,776 The tow truck can't come until tomorrow. 294 00:10:07,778 --> 00:10:09,737 Aren't you glad I stole all this beer? 295 00:10:09,738 --> 00:10:12,733 - Hello. Look what I found. - Don't. Put that away. 296 00:10:12,734 --> 00:10:14,283 - No, I have to hear it. - I-I'm begging you 297 00:10:14,284 --> 00:10:16,268 to put that away. It's humiliating. 298 00:10:16,269 --> 00:10:17,300 I made that when I was 14. 299 00:10:17,301 --> 00:10:19,261 Nick, I have to hear this. 300 00:10:19,262 --> 00:10:22,220 - This next song - Turn it up. - No, please... 301 00:10:22,223 --> 00:10:24,232 Goes out to a very special girl, Gwen Bressler. 302 00:10:24,233 --> 00:10:26,295 I know you like breakfast, but how do you feel about... 303 00:10:26,296 --> 00:10:28,237 - "Breakfast at Tiffany's"? - "Breakfast at Tiffany's." 304 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:29,888 Oh, that is a terrible song. 305 00:10:29,914 --> 00:10:31,435 This is a great song. 306 00:10:31,467 --> 00:10:33,282 You guys are crazy. Listen to the lyrics. 307 00:10:33,292 --> 00:10:36,236 Oh, man. I feel it in my body. 308 00:10:36,237 --> 00:10:38,215 Oh... 309 00:10:38,216 --> 00:10:41,278 Are you kidding me? This is in my bones. 310 00:10:41,279 --> 00:10:44,211 # I said, "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's"? # 311 00:10:44,212 --> 00:10:46,233 - No! - # Something, something # 312 00:10:46,236 --> 00:10:49,224 # Da da-da da-ta # 313 00:10:52,294 --> 00:10:53,218 Gwen, you don't even 314 00:10:53,242 --> 00:10:54,296 know my name, do you? 315 00:10:54,681 --> 00:10:55,698 "How Bizarre." 316 00:10:55,733 --> 00:10:59,711 Oh, yes, this is where Nick got cool again. 317 00:10:59,712 --> 00:11:00,770 Oh, not you, too. 318 00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:08,041 God, I'm like, I'm back. 319 00:11:08,704 --> 00:11:09,924 Thank you for doing this, actually. 320 00:11:09,957 --> 00:11:11,240 Make fun of me all you want. 321 00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:12,959 I'm back! I'm back! 322 00:11:12,987 --> 00:11:14,706 Thank you for doing this. 323 00:11:16,791 --> 00:11:18,778 # In the hot, hot sun # 324 00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:22,719 # Suddenly, red-blue lights flash us from behind # 325 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:23,791 # Loud voice booming... # 326 00:11:26,258 --> 00:11:28,711 I'm gonna miss this, you guys. 327 00:11:28,712 --> 00:11:30,803 Just all of us, together, 328 00:11:30,804 --> 00:11:32,716 making fun of Nick. 329 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:35,766 Okay. 330 00:11:39,550 --> 00:11:40,778 All right, I did it. 331 00:11:40,779 --> 00:11:42,711 I'm an idiot. 332 00:11:42,712 --> 00:11:44,138 I see what you guys are doing. 333 00:11:44,157 --> 00:11:45,335 I get it. 334 00:11:45,389 --> 00:11:47,366 You're trying to force me to remember how great it is 335 00:11:47,391 --> 00:11:49,353 when we're all hanging out so I don't want to leave. 336 00:11:49,368 --> 00:11:50,922 - We're just having fun. - I get it. 337 00:11:50,945 --> 00:11:53,039 You guys think I'm dumb and I make bad decisions, 338 00:11:53,066 --> 00:11:54,088 - but this isn't that. - No. 339 00:11:54,099 --> 00:11:55,494 What? Come on. 340 00:11:55,509 --> 00:11:56,947 You're being crazy. Where are you going? 341 00:11:56,964 --> 00:11:58,191 - To get my keys. - Dude, where you going? 342 00:11:58,222 --> 00:11:59,665 You're never gonna find your keys. 343 00:12:03,341 --> 00:12:05,383 What's wrong with you? 344 00:12:05,712 --> 00:12:07,275 You're stress-eating meat. 345 00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:08,664 Hey, Jess. 346 00:12:09,108 --> 00:12:10,150 How many have you had? 347 00:12:10,151 --> 00:12:11,170 Like, three. 348 00:12:11,171 --> 00:12:13,103 That's a lot of pig parts. 349 00:12:13,104 --> 00:12:14,123 It's just Cece. 350 00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:16,150 I thought it was going so well between you guys. 351 00:12:16,151 --> 00:12:17,178 Yeah. 352 00:12:17,179 --> 00:12:19,648 You know, she's a good egg. 353 00:12:21,171 --> 00:12:23,382 She's never gonna be happy with somebody like me, Jess. 354 00:12:23,424 --> 00:12:25,085 What? That's crazy. 355 00:12:25,116 --> 00:12:26,764 That's why I'm gonna have to White Fang her. 356 00:12:26,803 --> 00:12:28,401 Schmidt, come on! 357 00:12:28,435 --> 00:12:30,103 Look, I try not to judge what you guys do, 358 00:12:30,145 --> 00:12:32,125 but please don't tell me things like that. 359 00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:34,128 No, no, Jess, Jess. 360 00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:36,149 White Fang. 361 00:12:36,150 --> 00:12:38,087 - Oh. - This guy 362 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,115 Befriends a wild creature. 363 00:12:40,116 --> 00:12:42,124 But he must, he must set the animal free 364 00:12:42,125 --> 00:12:44,081 because that's what's best for it. 365 00:12:44,082 --> 00:12:45,106 I know the plot of White Fang. 366 00:12:45,107 --> 00:12:46,106 But the animal won't go. 367 00:12:46,107 --> 00:12:47,166 So with a breaking heart, 368 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:50,086 he throws stones at it until it runs away. 369 00:12:50,087 --> 00:12:52,107 You-you want Cece to go away? 370 00:12:52,108 --> 00:12:55,086 No. 371 00:12:55,087 --> 00:12:57,170 I want her to be happy. 372 00:12:57,171 --> 00:13:00,094 'Cause when-when you care about somebody, 373 00:13:00,095 --> 00:13:02,111 you do what's-what's best for them. 374 00:13:02,112 --> 00:13:05,112 Even if it sucks for you. 375 00:13:07,158 --> 00:13:09,149 Even if they're just a "woof." 376 00:13:09,150 --> 00:13:10,174 A wolf? 377 00:13:10,175 --> 00:13:11,679 - A "woof." - A wolf. 378 00:13:11,737 --> 00:13:13,081 Yeah, that's what I said, a "woof." 379 00:13:13,132 --> 00:13:14,179 A wolf. 380 00:13:14,180 --> 00:13:15,816 A "woof." 381 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,095 Come on, keys. 382 00:13:17,125 --> 00:13:18,148 Hey, Nick? 383 00:13:18,149 --> 00:13:19,156 Come on, they could be anywhere. 384 00:13:19,157 --> 00:13:20,166 Let's come back in the morning. 385 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,582 I don't want to come back in the morning, Jess. 386 00:13:22,583 --> 00:13:23,575 Okay, I want to be 387 00:13:23,576 --> 00:13:26,128 in my new bed, in my new apartment, 388 00:13:26,129 --> 00:13:28,094 with my new old girlfriend. 389 00:13:28,095 --> 00:13:30,124 Okay, just-- look, I know I've been-- 390 00:13:30,125 --> 00:13:32,086 What? 391 00:13:32,087 --> 00:13:34,090 Oh, my God. 392 00:13:34,091 --> 00:13:36,174 Shh-shh. Shh. 393 00:13:40,901 --> 00:13:41,963 Oh, my God. 394 00:13:42,417 --> 00:13:43,332 Okay, just be cool. 395 00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:44,390 What do we do? What do we do? 396 00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:46,327 I don't know, I don't know what to do! 397 00:13:46,328 --> 00:13:48,375 - Okay, but, Jess, we have to do something! - Shh. 398 00:13:50,490 --> 00:13:51,535 Meep-meep! 399 00:13:51,771 --> 00:13:53,349 - What are you doing? - Like the Road Runner. 400 00:13:53,393 --> 00:13:54,408 I know it's like the Road Runner. 401 00:13:54,409 --> 00:13:55,667 Why would you do the Road Runner? 402 00:13:55,674 --> 00:13:57,159 - Because he's... - Don't do that, Jess. 403 00:13:57,201 --> 00:13:58,686 - Meep-meep! - Jess, honestly, 404 00:13:58,717 --> 00:14:00,984 Don't do the Road Runner to a coyote! 405 00:14:01,013 --> 00:14:02,592 That's how you deal with coyotes. 406 00:14:02,599 --> 00:14:03,877 Coyotes hate roadrunners! 407 00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:04,900 That's how you deal with them. 408 00:14:04,925 --> 00:14:06,247 Coyotes want to kill roadrunners! 409 00:14:08,346 --> 00:14:09,345 Meep-meep! 410 00:14:09,346 --> 00:14:10,345 Oh, you... 411 00:14:12,387 --> 00:14:14,345 No disrespect. 412 00:14:14,346 --> 00:14:17,375 It's watching us. It's watching us. 413 00:14:24,166 --> 00:14:25,207 We need to talk. 414 00:14:25,309 --> 00:14:26,328 All right. 415 00:14:26,369 --> 00:14:27,796 This is not another one of those 416 00:14:27,811 --> 00:14:29,908 "merlot is the whore of the vineyard" talks, is it? 417 00:14:29,927 --> 00:14:31,942 This isn't working out. 418 00:14:33,342 --> 00:14:35,865 Are you kidding... right now? 419 00:14:36,006 --> 00:14:38,010 Are you trying to end this with me? 420 00:14:49,870 --> 00:14:51,891 Now go on! 421 00:14:52,719 --> 00:14:53,823 You heard me! 422 00:14:53,841 --> 00:14:54,844 Go on! 423 00:14:54,923 --> 00:14:56,196 Go on, scram! 424 00:14:56,344 --> 00:14:57,356 Go! 425 00:14:57,380 --> 00:14:58,923 I hate you! Go! 426 00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:04,460 Go back to your kind! 427 00:15:04,508 --> 00:15:06,120 Are you White Fanging me? 428 00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:07,208 Sorry, what? 429 00:15:07,242 --> 00:15:09,967 White Fang, Schmidt. 430 00:15:10,179 --> 00:15:12,165 The only book on your Kindle. 431 00:15:12,236 --> 00:15:13,802 The one that you wouldn't stop talking about. 432 00:15:13,828 --> 00:15:14,867 Remember, I said, "Please," 433 00:15:14,891 --> 00:15:16,424 stop talking about White Fang." 434 00:15:16,439 --> 00:15:19,989 And you said, "Someday, I'm gonna do this to somebody." 435 00:15:20,350 --> 00:15:22,328 That White Fang. Uh-huh. 436 00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:25,026 Why are you trying to push me away? 437 00:15:27,325 --> 00:15:29,395 I saw your phone, Cece. 438 00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:32,349 I saw the text message from Gino. 439 00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:33,545 Your colleague. 440 00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:34,601 You went through my phone? 441 00:15:34,727 --> 00:15:35,775 What? No. 442 00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:38,964 Winston... Winston went through your phone. 443 00:15:38,982 --> 00:15:41,281 That is not okay. 444 00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:45,332 This is about trust, Schmidt, okay? 445 00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:46,373 It's about trust. 446 00:15:46,374 --> 00:15:47,980 And I told you how this was gonna be, 447 00:15:48,025 --> 00:15:49,780 and I asked you to get okay with it. 448 00:15:49,795 --> 00:15:51,724 How am I supposed to trust you, Cece? 449 00:15:51,747 --> 00:15:52,702 You slept with me. 450 00:15:52,733 --> 00:15:55,467 I mean, that doesn't say much about your taste in men. 451 00:16:06,358 --> 00:16:08,973 And I have more than one book on my Kindle. 452 00:16:09,014 --> 00:16:11,573 And a subscription to Cricket. 453 00:16:11,626 --> 00:16:13,638 And a lot of PDFs! 454 00:16:15,239 --> 00:16:17,175 Doesn't he have somewhere to be? 455 00:16:17,216 --> 00:16:18,910 Well, this is a disaster. 456 00:16:19,106 --> 00:16:20,825 Why did you keep driving? 457 00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:22,352 I don't want to talk to you about this, Jess. 458 00:16:22,353 --> 00:16:24,392 I know what you're gonna say, and I don't want to hear it. 459 00:16:24,393 --> 00:16:26,391 No. 460 00:16:26,392 --> 00:16:29,337 No, you don't know what I'm gonna say. 461 00:16:30,342 --> 00:16:33,341 I want you to be happy. 462 00:16:33,342 --> 00:16:36,341 And if that means moving in with Caroline, 463 00:16:36,342 --> 00:16:38,342 then I think you should do it. 464 00:16:40,879 --> 00:16:42,379 That's what you think? 465 00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:44,829 I think you need me too much. 466 00:16:44,846 --> 00:16:47,017 No, I'm gonna be fine. I am. 467 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:47,837 I don't think so. 468 00:16:47,870 --> 00:16:50,865 - You know why? - Why? 469 00:16:51,853 --> 00:16:53,350 'Cause I met you. 470 00:16:56,763 --> 00:16:58,417 That's why I'm okay. 471 00:17:02,048 --> 00:17:02,997 That's why 472 00:17:03,820 --> 00:17:05,841 I can do this. 473 00:17:05,842 --> 00:17:07,328 What are you doing? 474 00:17:07,329 --> 00:17:10,762 To beat the coyote, you have to be the coyote. 475 00:17:10,793 --> 00:17:12,129 That's what I thought you were gonna say. 476 00:17:12,152 --> 00:17:13,389 That's a very dumb idea. Don't do this. 477 00:17:13,414 --> 00:17:15,349 I'm not with her on this. 478 00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:16,379 This is her move, not mine, sir. 479 00:17:19,351 --> 00:17:20,349 No. 480 00:17:27,363 --> 00:17:29,329 Oh, my God. - I did it! 481 00:17:29,332 --> 00:17:31,324 Oh, my God. 482 00:17:31,325 --> 00:17:33,327 I did it! I have so much dirt in my mouth, and I did it! 483 00:17:33,328 --> 00:17:34,421 - Come here, come here. - I did it! 484 00:17:34,422 --> 00:17:35,421 Nice job! 485 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:36,421 I did it! 486 00:17:41,091 --> 00:17:42,998 Oh, my God. Schmidt? 487 00:17:43,033 --> 00:17:43,779 Hello? 488 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:44,840 Winston? 489 00:17:44,872 --> 00:17:46,346 Oh, my goodness! 490 00:17:46,378 --> 00:17:47,413 Oh, my goodness! 491 00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:50,358 - Oh... my goodness! - He'll be fine. 492 00:17:53,329 --> 00:17:54,412 I don't know. 493 00:17:54,413 --> 00:17:56,348 You guys want some candy or something? 494 00:17:56,349 --> 00:17:57,371 Found it in the truck. 495 00:17:57,372 --> 00:17:58,386 No. 496 00:17:58,387 --> 00:18:00,328 I don't want your dirty lolly. 497 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,346 Guys! 498 00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:02,387 - Ah! - Whoo! 499 00:18:02,388 --> 00:18:03,392 I survived, man. 500 00:18:04,393 --> 00:18:05,666 I made it out alive. 501 00:18:05,708 --> 00:18:06,779 - Wait, wait, don't touch me. - Don't touch... 502 00:18:06,804 --> 00:18:08,375 There's, uh, there's pee everywhere. 503 00:18:08,422 --> 00:18:11,324 Like... everywhere. 504 00:18:11,325 --> 00:18:12,344 It's everywhere? 505 00:18:12,345 --> 00:18:13,377 Well, I didn't just pee on me. 506 00:18:13,378 --> 00:18:14,415 I peed-- well, I peed on me, 507 00:18:14,416 --> 00:18:16,413 but other-other things peed on me, too. 508 00:18:16,414 --> 00:18:18,391 I saw things, man. 509 00:18:18,392 --> 00:18:20,412 I had an experience. 510 00:18:20,413 --> 00:18:23,336 I think I made out with the side of a dune. 511 00:18:23,337 --> 00:18:24,399 Hey! 512 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,328 Look, I found my keys! 513 00:18:26,329 --> 00:18:27,367 Ah! Thank God! 514 00:18:34,408 --> 00:18:36,345 We still on for brunch? 515 00:18:36,346 --> 00:18:38,327 Gonna come help me unload my stuff tomorrow? 516 00:18:38,328 --> 00:18:39,337 No, not a chance. 517 00:18:39,338 --> 00:18:41,337 No, yeah, so we can't do brunch. 518 00:18:52,379 --> 00:18:54,328 Just go. 519 00:18:54,329 --> 00:18:55,337 Get in the car. 520 00:18:57,346 --> 00:18:59,345 Unacceptable. 521 00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:01,354 Good luck. 522 00:19:07,917 --> 00:19:09,382 Well... 523 00:19:09,383 --> 00:19:11,417 Well... 524 00:19:13,921 --> 00:19:16,325 All right, I'll see you. 525 00:19:20,329 --> 00:19:21,396 See ya. 526 00:19:33,342 --> 00:19:34,416 Wow. 527 00:19:34,417 --> 00:19:37,382 Look how pronounced Nick's couch hole got. 528 00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:38,758 All this time 529 00:19:38,783 --> 00:19:39,953 I thought he was just sitting here 530 00:19:39,974 --> 00:19:41,948 drinking beer and complaining, 531 00:19:42,199 --> 00:19:43,488 he was making something. 532 00:19:54,691 --> 00:19:55,732 Hey. 533 00:19:57,241 --> 00:19:59,220 What do you think? 534 00:20:25,775 --> 00:20:27,824 Hey, WNICK listeners, 535 00:20:27,825 --> 00:20:29,408 this one is going out to all the ladies 536 00:20:29,409 --> 00:20:31,357 I'm gonna meet when I grow up. 537 00:20:31,358 --> 00:20:33,336 Not. 538 00:20:46,383 --> 00:20:49,379 Hey. 539 00:20:52,383 --> 00:20:56,329 Welcome back, you clown. 540 00:21:03,337 --> 00:21:06,374 # She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean # 541 00:21:06,375 --> 00:21:11,324 # She was the best damn woman that I ever seen # 542 00:21:11,325 --> 00:21:15,353 # She had the sightless eyes, telling me no lies # 543 00:21:15,354 --> 00:21:18,407 # Knocking me out with those American thighs # 544 00:21:18,408 --> 00:21:22,407 # Taking more than her share, had me fighting for air # 545 00:21:22,408 --> 00:21:26,366 # She told me to come, but I was already there # 546 00:21:26,367 --> 00:21:28,382 # 'Cause the walls start shaking # 547 00:21:28,383 --> 00:21:31,382 # The earth was quaking, my mind was aching # 548 00:21:31,383 --> 00:21:32,392 Nick, turn it off! 549 00:21:32,393 --> 00:21:34,341 # And we were making it # 550 00:21:34,342 --> 00:21:39,370 # And you shook me all night long # 551 00:21:39,371 --> 00:21:42,354 # Yeah, you shook me # 552 00:21:43,363 --> 00:21:47,345 # Yeah, you shook me # 553 00:21:47,346 --> 00:21:50,328 # All night long. # 554 00:21:55,829 --> 00:21:56,929 Norther