1
00:00:09,693 --> 00:00:10,317
Hey.
2
00:00:10,335 --> 00:00:12,657
You're a big girl. You can watch
The Walking Dead alone.
3
00:00:12,688 --> 00:00:13,907
Sam booty-called me.
4
00:00:13,923 --> 00:00:15,391
Ooh, Sam, he's so hot.
5
00:00:15,409 --> 00:00:16,941
- I don't care. Good night.
- Don't!
6
00:00:16,989 --> 00:00:18,953
- What?
- I need your help.
7
00:00:18,967 --> 00:00:20,970
I don't know what to do.
I'm terrible at casual sex.
8
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,019
I left him in there
with crayons
9
00:00:23,020 --> 00:00:24,557
and paper, like he's a kid
10
00:00:24,575 --> 00:00:26,058
in a restaurant,
and I told him I had to check
11
00:00:26,076 --> 00:00:27,965
- my fantasy football.
- You don't even know what that is.
12
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:30,032
No, sir, I do not know
what that is.
13
00:00:30,432 --> 00:00:31,733
I panicked. Help me.
14
00:00:31,768 --> 00:00:33,797
Look, you can't separate
your feelings from sex?
15
00:00:34,029 --> 00:00:35,923
So what? You're a girl.
16
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,767
I deserve to have a shorty
on the side.
17
00:00:37,791 --> 00:00:39,770
Okay, a shorty is not... that's
the wrong use of "shorty."
18
00:00:40,485 --> 00:00:42,998
- Hey, I drew a cat.
- Uh, sorry, man.
19
00:00:43,025 --> 00:00:44,980
She's, uh, checking her
fantasy football 'cause she...
20
00:00:45,015 --> 00:00:47,037
Yeah, I'm not gonna do this,
so I-I don't even...
21
00:00:47,769 --> 00:00:50,132
- ♪ Who's that girl? ♪
- ♪Who's that girl? ♪
22
00:00:50,182 --> 00:00:51,761
♪ It's Jess. ♪
23
00:00:51,836 --> 00:00:55,905
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
24
00:00:57,212 --> 00:00:58,506
Are we gonna
talk about it?
25
00:00:58,538 --> 00:01:00,157
Talk about what, Winston?
26
00:01:00,184 --> 00:01:02,660
The belt, Schmidt.
Please explain the belt.
27
00:01:02,691 --> 00:01:05,357
It's after Labor Day.
I'm wearing whales.
28
00:01:05,403 --> 00:01:07,306
- The dumbest thing ever.
- You look like the bad guy
29
00:01:07,322 --> 00:01:08,569
in an '80s high school movie.
30
00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:11,646
I'll have you guys know
that Kanye wore this belt, okay?
31
00:01:11,665 --> 00:01:13,621
- Kanye.
- Kanye?
32
00:01:13,659 --> 00:01:15,266
Yeah, and he looked
beautiful in it.
33
00:01:15,285 --> 00:01:16,504
His whole midsection lit up.
34
00:01:16,533 --> 00:01:17,752
What is your obsession
with Kanye?
35
00:01:17,776 --> 00:01:19,897
Befriending Kanye
is the most efficient way
36
00:01:19,922 --> 00:01:21,210
for me to jump social strata.
37
00:01:21,242 --> 00:01:22,572
Now all I have to
do is meet him,
38
00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:24,169
and then dazzle him
to the point that we're
39
00:01:24,199 --> 00:01:25,733
each other's last call
before bed.
40
00:01:25,875 --> 00:01:26,895
"Yo, what up, K?
41
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:28,291
"Yeah, I'm just going to sleep.
42
00:01:32,438 --> 00:01:33,877
You know if your dad's
gonna win the election?
43
00:01:33,902 --> 00:01:35,198
He does look like a Romney.
44
00:01:35,223 --> 00:01:36,398
Telling me that I look like one
45
00:01:36,421 --> 00:01:38,383
of the most handsome
men in politics
46
00:01:38,434 --> 00:01:39,683
does not hurt my feelings,
Winston.
47
00:01:39,857 --> 00:01:41,566
Last night was horrible.
48
00:01:41,624 --> 00:01:42,648
Sam came over,
49
00:01:42,687 --> 00:01:44,956
we tried to make out,
I stopped it,
50
00:01:44,968 --> 00:01:46,776
and then we just laid there
51
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:50,307
like two old couple
in The Notebook waiting to die.
52
00:01:50,339 --> 00:01:52,464
Jess, I get it-- you're
the type of person that...
53
00:01:52,843 --> 00:01:54,862
you need to ease
into these kind of things.
54
00:01:54,950 --> 00:01:56,878
- Let us take you out tonight, okay?
- Uh-uh.
55
00:01:56,928 --> 00:01:58,347
And that way, you...
you can feel like,
56
00:01:58,409 --> 00:01:59,891
you know, you're going
on a date first.
57
00:01:59,947 --> 00:02:01,812
Yes! Like we're all dating
58
00:02:01,850 --> 00:02:03,568
in a large, nonsexual
friend group.
59
00:02:03,599 --> 00:02:05,224
My nightmare.
Have fun. I'm out.
60
00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:06,900
Come on, Nick. Please?
61
00:02:06,912 --> 00:02:08,477
Why are you doing this, Jess?
62
00:02:08,625 --> 00:02:10,094
Why don't you just
date a guy that--
63
00:02:10,134 --> 00:02:11,553
I don't know--
you like?
64
00:02:11,584 --> 00:02:12,490
This is good for me.
65
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,289
I always jump
into relationships.
66
00:02:14,327 --> 00:02:15,609
Plus, Sam's not the kind of guy
67
00:02:15,627 --> 00:02:17,680
you spend Saturdays
in your sweatpants with.
68
00:02:18,381 --> 00:02:19,876
He's the kind of guy...
69
00:02:19,975 --> 00:02:21,027
You bone.
70
00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:23,434
I can't help. I'm at a crucial
point in my zombie novel.
71
00:02:23,463 --> 00:02:25,100
- You selfish bastard.
- I'm not a selfish bastard.
72
00:02:25,119 --> 00:02:26,969
- I just have to... I have to get through...
- You're a selfish bastard.
73
00:02:26,984 --> 00:02:29,531
- I'm so sick of this zombie novel nonsense.
- Not nonsense.
74
00:02:29,570 --> 00:02:32,198
Friends help friends
have meaningless sex, okay?
75
00:02:32,322 --> 00:02:33,137
Now, you're going.
76
00:02:33,170 --> 00:02:34,739
- End of story.
- You got it.
77
00:02:34,995 --> 00:02:37,430
Where are you, Schmidt?
This place is fancy,
78
00:02:37,454 --> 00:02:39,306
and I don't know which fork
to kill myself with.
79
00:02:39,337 --> 00:02:41,918
I got to bail!
Kanye's at this club tonight.
80
00:02:41,935 --> 00:02:43,892
What are you talking about?
This was your idea.
81
00:02:43,911 --> 00:02:45,576
Can't miss this, Nick.
I got the belt on.
82
00:02:45,602 --> 00:02:47,385
I took Winston with me
to prove that I can be friends
83
00:02:47,409 --> 00:02:49,380
with black people,
even oddly shaped ones.
84
00:02:49,411 --> 00:02:50,425
Just shut up, Schmidt!
85
00:02:50,445 --> 00:02:51,775
Shut up! This is ridiculous.
86
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,643
I'm leaving right now.
Good-bye.
87
00:02:55,452 --> 00:02:57,059
Whoa.
88
00:02:57,129 --> 00:02:59,529
Wow. I forgot what you look like
89
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,448
when you're not dressed
like the Loft Troll.
90
00:03:01,571 --> 00:03:03,759
- Pardon?
- Sorry, I didn't...
91
00:03:03,959 --> 00:03:07,940
What I mean to say is
you look va-va-va-vavooms!
92
00:03:07,971 --> 00:03:10,180
Hello, nurse!
93
00:03:10,388 --> 00:03:13,520
Hubba-bubba! Meow! Zing!
You can stop me at any time.
94
00:03:13,546 --> 00:03:15,015
- Are the guys coming, or...?
- No.
95
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,034
It's just us-- they bailed--
so if you want to go
96
00:03:17,058 --> 00:03:18,859
back to the loft, or we can both
go back to the loft.
97
00:03:18,898 --> 00:03:20,942
- We're already here.
- But we're already here, so...
98
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,581
Can I get you a chair, milady?
99
00:03:24,607 --> 00:03:26,007
- So weird.
- Yeah.
100
00:03:26,037 --> 00:03:27,458
Loft Troll
101
00:03:27,477 --> 00:03:29,433
not used to fancy gentleman!
102
00:03:29,603 --> 00:03:31,458
- Shut up.
- That was so loud.
103
00:03:31,473 --> 00:03:32,498
Why are you yelling?
104
00:03:34,449 --> 00:03:35,748
On the list.
105
00:03:37,627 --> 00:03:40,634
Winston! You've been staring at
this girl for five minutes.
106
00:03:40,663 --> 00:03:41,616
I hope you're checking her out.
107
00:03:41,634 --> 00:03:42,872
Otherwise, you're
a serial killer,
108
00:03:42,911 --> 00:03:44,381
which would explain a lot.
109
00:03:44,417 --> 00:03:45,325
No. Checking her out?
110
00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:47,081
- No, dude, I'm in a relationship.
- I know.
111
00:03:47,118 --> 00:03:49,143
Like, happily.
Shelby, we're...
112
00:03:49,928 --> 00:03:51,590
Shelby and I haven't
had sex in three weeks.
113
00:03:51,628 --> 00:03:53,611
- For real?
- We're in a bit of a rut.
114
00:03:55,176 --> 00:03:58,188
Not now. I have to
go to the bathroom.
115
00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:04,843
- I'm cheating on Shelby.
- What?
116
00:04:04,879 --> 00:04:06,942
- No, no, in my mind.
- In your mind...?
117
00:04:06,968 --> 00:04:09,210
- I'm cheating on Shelby in my mind, man.
- So what? So what?
118
00:04:09,252 --> 00:04:11,040
What do you mean, "So what?"
I'm doing it all the time.
119
00:04:11,083 --> 00:04:12,752
Like, I'm doing it a lot.
I can't control myself, man.
120
00:04:12,792 --> 00:04:15,178
Listen, everybody does it
every minute all the time.
121
00:04:15,209 --> 00:04:17,022
How do you think I get
through the day, man?
122
00:04:17,075 --> 00:04:19,070
Okay. Wow.
123
00:04:19,115 --> 00:04:21,720
Um, in that case...
124
00:04:21,792 --> 00:04:25,553
Hey, lady, can I
introduce you to...
125
00:04:25,980 --> 00:04:27,730
this lady?
126
00:04:27,753 --> 00:04:30,489
- This place is crazy expensive.
- Schmidt picked it.
127
00:04:30,510 --> 00:04:33,018
I can afford the valet
charge and the "Add onions."
128
00:04:33,562 --> 00:04:37,531
Then you'll be happy to meet
my little Scottish friend.
129
00:04:37,624 --> 00:04:40,585
You unexpected genius.
130
00:04:40,691 --> 00:04:42,254
- Is that whiskey?
- White wine.
131
00:04:42,291 --> 00:04:44,283
White wine?!
132
00:04:44,865 --> 00:04:46,899
Why would you do wine?
133
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:50,639
- Nope.
- All right, my man.
134
00:04:50,685 --> 00:04:52,755
- Not gonna happen.
- Schmidt?
135
00:04:53,245 --> 00:04:54,428
It's the belt, man.
136
00:04:54,459 --> 00:04:55,797
- Take off the belt.
- Okay, the only thing
137
00:04:55,831 --> 00:04:57,831
I know in this world
is this belt is amazing.
138
00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:59,914
Look, if you're gonna
wear that thing, just...
139
00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:01,707
- just make it work for us, okay?
- You got a plan?
140
00:05:01,749 --> 00:05:03,529
Yeah, I got a plan, of course.
141
00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:04,810
All right, go talk
to your peeps.
142
00:05:04,853 --> 00:05:06,685
- It's not my peeps.
- It's your peeps, man. Go talk to them.
143
00:05:06,716 --> 00:05:08,467
- Don't say... don't do this.
- Yeah, man, come on.
144
00:05:08,498 --> 00:05:10,258
- I mean, come on. Really?
- Yeah, word.
145
00:05:11,428 --> 00:05:12,751
We got Tagg Romney out here.
146
00:05:12,776 --> 00:05:14,536
We're gonna need you
to sweep the the perimeter.
147
00:05:14,577 --> 00:05:16,568
What the hell
you talking about?
148
00:05:16,826 --> 00:05:19,186
Tagg Romney.
Pleasure to meet you, sir.
149
00:05:19,223 --> 00:05:21,361
Romney. Like,
Mitt Romney's your dad?
150
00:05:21,396 --> 00:05:23,246
Let's get America back to work.
151
00:05:24,512 --> 00:05:27,394
- Here's the thermos.
- Thanks.
152
00:05:27,431 --> 00:05:29,689
You know, the drunker you get,
153
00:05:29,714 --> 00:05:31,711
the more obvious you're being
with the thermos.
154
00:05:31,743 --> 00:05:33,657
"Thermose?" "Thermas?"
155
00:05:33,677 --> 00:05:34,967
I'm sorry.
I don't understand.
156
00:05:34,992 --> 00:05:35,836
What's a "thermoos?"
157
00:05:35,861 --> 00:05:37,533
That one right there
in your hand.
158
00:05:37,556 --> 00:05:40,382
Oh, the "thermase?"
159
00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:42,498
- This is fun.
- This is really fun.
160
00:05:44,525 --> 00:05:45,558
It's Sam.
161
00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:48,203
He's done with work,
and he wants to "hang out."
162
00:05:48,247 --> 00:05:50,971
He's got a job, too?
Poke a hole in that condom.
163
00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:52,758
Thank you, Nick.
164
00:05:52,796 --> 00:05:54,689
I now feel ready
to have meaningless sex.
165
00:05:54,707 --> 00:05:56,926
- I do what I can, so...
- Hey, do you need money for the...?
166
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,541
Half the soup? No,
I think I got it.
167
00:05:58,572 --> 00:06:00,694
Loft Troll eats fancy soup.
168
00:06:00,725 --> 00:06:02,675
Get out of here, would you?
169
00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,025
Go have fun.
170
00:06:08,503 --> 00:06:09,803
Excuse me.
171
00:06:09,916 --> 00:06:11,840
Can I get an ice bucket
for this bad boy?
172
00:06:11,899 --> 00:06:15,437
And more than your normal amount
'cause this is a thermos, so...
173
00:06:25,788 --> 00:06:28,370
Ah...
174
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:29,668
I see what we're doing here.
175
00:06:29,699 --> 00:06:31,666
We're stalking your
ex-girlfriend.
176
00:06:32,051 --> 00:06:33,707
Oh, is Cece here?
177
00:06:34,022 --> 00:06:35,048
Schmidt.
178
00:06:35,104 --> 00:06:37,404
Cece, what up?
179
00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:38,914
So, where's, uh, Blobby?
180
00:06:38,933 --> 00:06:40,477
Where's... where's Blobby?
Where's that dude?
181
00:06:40,508 --> 00:06:43,497
Oh, you mean my boyfriend?
His name's Robby.
182
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,733
Excuse me. My friend is too
embarrassed to come over here,
183
00:06:46,753 --> 00:06:49,136
but she said she heard
from someone in line
184
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,526
that you're a Romney.
185
00:06:51,569 --> 00:06:53,541
- I am...
- She's right over there.
186
00:06:54,788 --> 00:06:55,813
Oh, yeah, I'm a Romney.
187
00:06:55,814 --> 00:06:58,366
- Hell, yeah, I'm a Romney.
- Oh, come on!
188
00:06:58,422 --> 00:07:01,099
- Security, remove the threat. Remove the threat. Code red.
- Is that how bad it is?
189
00:07:01,124 --> 00:07:03,672
- Right this way, ma'am. Come on!
- Hey, that woman is stupid enough to believe...
190
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:04,595
Code red. Code red.
191
00:07:04,626 --> 00:07:06,244
Winston, I thought
you were better than this.
192
00:07:06,275 --> 00:07:07,140
I'm so sorry.
193
00:07:07,183 --> 00:07:08,812
I am a huge supporter.
194
00:07:08,836 --> 00:07:11,175
In '08, I was the national
cochair of Kappas for Romney.
195
00:07:11,307 --> 00:07:13,049
You caught me. I'm a Romney.
196
00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:15,786
I'm trying to be
incognito, so just...
197
00:07:15,938 --> 00:07:17,015
You're... Tagg?
198
00:07:17,046 --> 00:07:18,563
- Tugg.
- Tugg?
199
00:07:18,598 --> 00:07:20,190
Tugg Romney, yeah.
200
00:07:20,221 --> 00:07:21,503
I'm Tugg Romney.
201
00:07:21,550 --> 00:07:23,547
Tagg's everywhere.
Too much Tagg for me.
202
00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:24,762
Tugg.
203
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,166
Whoo! What a night.
204
00:07:29,531 --> 00:07:30,928
What a crazy night.
205
00:07:30,953 --> 00:07:33,369
Yeah, me, too.
I found a dollar on my way out
206
00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:36,079
of the restaurant. I used it
to buy a slice of pizza.
207
00:07:36,104 --> 00:07:37,398
One day closer to death!
208
00:07:37,441 --> 00:07:39,145
Winston, what is
wrong with you?
209
00:07:39,170 --> 00:07:41,862
No. Nothing wrong with me, girl.
I'm just brushing my hair.
210
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,781
I just want to say
that I had meaningless,
211
00:07:44,815 --> 00:07:47,039
wonderful sex
last night with Sam.
212
00:07:47,151 --> 00:07:49,114
And that sex would
not have been possible
213
00:07:49,148 --> 00:07:51,620
without the efforts
of a one Nick Miller.
214
00:07:51,657 --> 00:07:52,985
Ugh! But okay.
215
00:07:53,004 --> 00:07:54,183
I don't want to kiss and tell,
216
00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:56,655
but he did ruin my dresser
during intercourse.
217
00:07:56,699 --> 00:07:58,443
Come on!
Why are you saying that?
218
00:07:58,468 --> 00:08:01,215
- Will you go to Ikea with me?
- Sure, I'm not doing anything.
219
00:08:01,296 --> 00:08:03,318
But don't let me lay my eyes
on the Malm collection.
220
00:08:03,507 --> 00:08:05,811
I can't afford it, and I'm
a sucker for it every time.
221
00:08:05,842 --> 00:08:07,790
I'll go get my golf pencils.
222
00:08:08,097 --> 00:08:09,095
Mm-hmm.
223
00:08:09,185 --> 00:08:10,792
If you got something to say,
my man, just say it.
224
00:08:10,844 --> 00:08:13,206
Hey, look, a man can only
sit back and observe
225
00:08:13,237 --> 00:08:15,991
but for so long
before he has to speak his mind.
226
00:08:16,010 --> 00:08:16,920
Then speak your mind.
227
00:08:16,944 --> 00:08:18,814
A line has been crossed,
all right?
228
00:08:18,837 --> 00:08:21,332
You, my friend,
have become her fluffer.
229
00:08:21,698 --> 00:08:22,548
Like in porn?
230
00:08:22,574 --> 00:08:24,166
An emotional fluffer.
231
00:08:24,178 --> 00:08:25,193
I'm an emotional fluffer?
232
00:08:25,295 --> 00:08:26,986
You got to set
some boundaries, all right?
233
00:08:27,023 --> 00:08:28,019
You're gonna start fulfilling
234
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,399
every single need of hers,
all right?
235
00:08:30,423 --> 00:08:32,419
Doing all the things
that a boyfriend would do...
236
00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:35,279
- Winston...
- ...for some other dude who ain't doing nothing.
237
00:08:35,303 --> 00:08:36,766
- And I'm her friend.
- You're her boyfriend.
238
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:39,003
- No, I'm not her boyfriend.
- You're a boyfriend without the rewards.
239
00:08:39,021 --> 00:08:40,471
How about this?
Why don't you just shut up?
240
00:08:40,525 --> 00:08:41,803
- Hey, Nick, you ready?
- Yeah.
241
00:08:41,860 --> 00:08:44,287
So it's not available
at the closest Ikea,
242
00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:46,335
but it is available at
the second-closest Ikea,
243
00:08:46,368 --> 00:08:48,338
which is about 45 minutes...
244
00:08:48,477 --> 00:08:50,802
if we could drive
over the reservoir.
245
00:08:50,963 --> 00:08:52,990
But we can't, so...
246
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:55,027
- it's about an hour and a half.
- Cool.
247
00:08:55,323 --> 00:08:58,804
I had so much sex last night.
248
00:08:59,668 --> 00:09:01,580
Fluffer.
249
00:09:02,427 --> 00:09:04,115
- You're gonna get caught.
- Impossible.
250
00:09:04,165 --> 00:09:06,148
I've been studying
Romney trivia all day long.
251
00:09:06,493 --> 00:09:08,942
Memorizing Dad's gestures
so I can mimic him.
252
00:09:08,967 --> 00:09:11,304
You're calling Mitt Romney "Dad"
now? That's where we're at?
253
00:09:11,328 --> 00:09:12,831
- Mm-hmm.
- Schmidt, we get it.
254
00:09:13,327 --> 00:09:14,708
He's the dad you never had.
255
00:09:14,726 --> 00:09:17,426
Okay, all-knowing
Indian god Ganesha,
256
00:09:17,447 --> 00:09:19,143
this is about sex.
257
00:09:19,211 --> 00:09:20,479
You know they have
Romney Olympics
258
00:09:20,511 --> 00:09:22,137
every summer at the lake house?
259
00:09:22,197 --> 00:09:23,966
I bet that's a hoot.
I'm sure it's like
260
00:09:23,996 --> 00:09:26,454
the real Olympics, only the
white people win the sprints.
261
00:09:29,449 --> 00:09:30,837
- Okay, so you good?
- Okay.
262
00:09:30,926 --> 00:09:32,068
Yeah.
263
00:09:33,304 --> 00:09:34,322
Hey, Nick, any chance
264
00:09:34,348 --> 00:09:35,936
you understand
how to put this together?
265
00:09:35,961 --> 00:09:37,611
I think it looks
pretty easy, actually.
266
00:09:37,630 --> 00:09:40,356
No, you know, I'm
actually busy. I'm, uh...
267
00:09:40,738 --> 00:09:41,771
I'm moving money around.
268
00:09:41,772 --> 00:09:43,243
I'm-I'm diversifying.
I've got...
269
00:09:43,287 --> 00:09:45,280
And I'm not your
fluffer, by the way.
270
00:09:45,409 --> 00:09:46,434
What's a fluffer?
271
00:09:46,472 --> 00:09:47,529
In pornography,
272
00:09:47,575 --> 00:09:49,572
it's the person who
keeps the actor...
273
00:09:49,966 --> 00:09:51,708
motivated, aroused, you know?
274
00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:53,310
Ew! That's a job?
275
00:09:53,347 --> 00:09:56,816
And that's what I am.
I'm your emotional fluffer.
276
00:09:57,147 --> 00:09:59,311
I'm there whenever
you need a guy.
277
00:09:59,356 --> 00:10:00,931
You want a cup of tea,
I'll make it.
278
00:10:00,979 --> 00:10:02,302
You lose your phone, I'll call.
279
00:10:02,327 --> 00:10:04,382
You're my friend.
That's what friends do.
280
00:10:04,413 --> 00:10:06,416
I'm you boyfriend
without the rewards.
281
00:10:06,841 --> 00:10:07,773
Oh?
282
00:10:07,831 --> 00:10:09,823
Yeah.
283
00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:13,714
You're saying you want the...?
284
00:10:13,792 --> 00:10:17,749
No! No, no, no, no, no.
Not with you. Blecch!
285
00:10:18,056 --> 00:10:19,763
- Don't say "blecch!"
- I don't want it.
286
00:10:19,778 --> 00:10:22,510
I'm not disgusting.
It's not an unheard of thought.
287
00:10:22,535 --> 00:10:24,475
- Blecch!
- Come on. Admit it, you've thought about it.
288
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:25,975
You and me, sexually?
Nope.
289
00:10:25,999 --> 00:10:27,293
Blecch!
Never thought about it once.
290
00:10:27,341 --> 00:10:29,352
- Don't lie.
- Not on purpose.
291
00:10:29,561 --> 00:10:31,963
Sleeping Nick is a totally
different guy.
292
00:10:31,988 --> 00:10:34,842
You know you did when you walked
in on me doing deep lunges.
293
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:36,672
Yeah, check my Google
history, Jess.
294
00:10:36,703 --> 00:10:39,372
It's filled with girls
doing deep lunges.
295
00:10:39,408 --> 00:10:41,322
I mean, I'll admit
I've thought about it.
296
00:10:42,519 --> 00:10:44,688
- Yeah.
- When was this?
297
00:10:44,874 --> 00:10:46,549
Last year. Just once.
298
00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:48,736
Would you like to eat me?
299
00:10:48,792 --> 00:10:51,431
What do you mean?
Aren't you a little small?
300
00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:53,547
What, are you nuts?!
301
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,713
What happened?
302
00:10:55,746 --> 00:10:57,795
Why am I doing this?
303
00:10:58,133 --> 00:10:59,484
That's what does it for you?
304
00:10:59,521 --> 00:11:01,405
Yeah, I thought about it
for five minutes,
305
00:11:01,429 --> 00:11:04,218
and then I realized it would
never, ever work between us.
306
00:11:04,275 --> 00:11:06,069
Yeah, I agree.
That's how I see it.
307
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,782
- Great. I'm glad we agree on something.
- Me, too!
308
00:11:07,849 --> 00:11:10,476
- Great.
- Out of curiosity, why do you think that, though?
309
00:11:10,514 --> 00:11:13,172
Because you drive
me nuts, Miller!
310
00:11:13,225 --> 00:11:14,725
Because you're always sighing,
311
00:11:14,796 --> 00:11:16,886
like you're the president
of the United States
312
00:11:16,917 --> 00:11:19,407
and you have to decide whether
we're going to war or not.
313
00:11:19,438 --> 00:11:22,088
I sigh because you
sing about everything.
314
00:11:22,119 --> 00:11:22,782
I do not.
315
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:23,778
♪ And I hate it. ♪
316
00:11:23,812 --> 00:11:25,506
♪ You sing and dance
about nothing. ♪
317
00:11:25,549 --> 00:11:26,854
You're cheap!
318
00:11:27,048 --> 00:11:28,411
- You are so cheap.
- I'm not cheap.
319
00:11:28,434 --> 00:11:31,271
You never, ever put money
in any tip jar, ever.
320
00:11:31,302 --> 00:11:33,372
- What are you talking about?
- I've never seen you ever do that.
321
00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:34,735
Last week, when we
went to the coffee shop.
322
00:11:34,797 --> 00:11:36,779
- You put nickels in the tip jar!
- You know what
323
00:11:36,806 --> 00:11:38,954
- a jar is in my business?
- Nickels! Nickels are worse
324
00:11:38,994 --> 00:11:41,350
- than no money; it's an insult.
- It's just a little boy saying, "Love me!"
325
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,949
- "Give me attention!"
- You're a bartender.
326
00:11:42,968 --> 00:11:44,718
- You live on tips. You should know better.
- The nickel?
327
00:11:44,742 --> 00:11:46,929
- The only American currency...
- You can't not give someone a tip
328
00:11:46,941 --> 00:11:48,938
- Because you don't like tip jars!
- ...graced with the face of Thomas Jefferson.
329
00:11:48,970 --> 00:11:50,967
- Well, I think that's rude, Nick!
- I didn't realize you were on the fence
330
00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:52,713
- about the Louisiana Purchase...
- You hate everything!
331
00:11:52,762 --> 00:11:54,281
- ...Jessica!
- And I could never live with that.
332
00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:56,262
I barely live with it now!
333
00:11:56,462 --> 00:11:59,452
But you need me to have sex.
334
00:12:02,715 --> 00:12:04,465
Oh, that's what you think?
335
00:12:05,784 --> 00:12:07,042
I'm calling Sam,
336
00:12:07,141 --> 00:12:08,712
and we're gonna go on a date.
337
00:12:08,734 --> 00:12:10,689
And we're gonna
talk our faces off.
338
00:12:10,751 --> 00:12:12,641
- Okay?
- Good luck. Good luck with that.
339
00:12:12,791 --> 00:12:14,323
- Can't find your phone, Jess?
- No, I'll find it.
340
00:12:14,354 --> 00:12:16,713
- 'Cause I'm not calling you this time.
- Are you happy now?
341
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,016
Now I have to get to know
the guy I'm sleeping with.
342
00:12:23,775 --> 00:12:25,194
That was a pocket dial!
343
00:12:25,239 --> 00:12:26,814
That was an ill-timed
pocket dial!
344
00:12:26,852 --> 00:12:28,183
I will not explain myself!
345
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:34,180
I just wish I had a lot
more solo Tugg time.
346
00:12:34,309 --> 00:12:35,102
You know?
347
00:12:35,150 --> 00:12:37,108
Well, you can be Tugg with me.
348
00:12:37,522 --> 00:12:39,699
Sometimes I think that
I'm just a riddle that,
349
00:12:39,712 --> 00:12:41,712
well, even I can't solve.
350
00:12:44,416 --> 00:12:46,433
Yeah, see? I tried
to solve it again.
351
00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:51,034
- Hi.
- Hi.
352
00:12:51,075 --> 00:12:52,038
I hope it's okay,
353
00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:54,021
I invited over some of
the Kappas For Romney.
354
00:12:54,055 --> 00:12:56,046
- Kappas For Romney!
- Courtney.
355
00:12:56,087 --> 00:12:57,978
- Such a pleasure. - Courtney.
- I'm April.
356
00:12:58,022 --> 00:12:59,496
- April.
- They just got so excited when I said
357
00:12:59,510 --> 00:13:00,518
I met one of the Romney boys.
358
00:13:00,543 --> 00:13:02,533
- Oh, no, who wouldn't be?
- Did you ask him?
359
00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:04,117
I think April's in love
with your brothers.
360
00:13:04,148 --> 00:13:05,361
- Who isn't?
- Who's the shy one?
361
00:13:05,388 --> 00:13:07,270
Who's the joker?
Who's tried coffee?
362
00:13:07,295 --> 00:13:08,467
April, you're such a spaz.
363
00:13:08,485 --> 00:13:10,605
Yeah, no, nobody gets rowdy
like us Romney boys.
364
00:13:10,655 --> 00:13:12,274
Just a bunch of alphas,
you know what I mean?
365
00:13:12,305 --> 00:13:13,304
Yeah.
366
00:13:13,518 --> 00:13:14,463
That is, of course,
367
00:13:14,490 --> 00:13:17,173
unless we're fishing
on Lake Winnipesauke.
368
00:13:17,223 --> 00:13:18,954
There's nothing that
I love more than just
369
00:13:19,005 --> 00:13:21,020
getting out on
the water with Dad,
370
00:13:21,072 --> 00:13:22,891
the freezing cold dawn,
371
00:13:22,915 --> 00:13:24,584
a couple of cold beers in hand.
372
00:13:24,706 --> 00:13:25,922
Having that one quick moment...
373
00:13:25,946 --> 00:13:27,570
Your dad doesn't drink.
He's a Mormon.
374
00:13:27,649 --> 00:13:30,660
Well, we don't drink
the beers, Courtney.
375
00:13:30,887 --> 00:13:33,856
You know, we just buy them
to support American breweries.
376
00:13:33,988 --> 00:13:35,038
Then we dump them in the lake.
377
00:13:35,095 --> 00:13:37,094
'Cause we're Americans.
378
00:13:38,698 --> 00:13:42,015
So... um...
379
00:13:42,059 --> 00:13:44,375
I want a casual sex affair,
just like in the movies.
380
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:46,913
- Nice.
- But it turns out...
381
00:13:47,524 --> 00:13:49,318
I need some conversation first.
382
00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:49,962
So...
383
00:13:49,980 --> 00:13:51,053
- If you want to hang...
- No.
384
00:13:51,113 --> 00:13:52,163
- ...Hang out more...
- I don't...
385
00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:54,059
- I don't want to hang out more.
- Okay.
386
00:13:54,077 --> 00:13:56,232
Because, if I hang
out with you,
387
00:13:56,273 --> 00:13:58,411
it's just the truth, I'm
gonna fall in love with you.
388
00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,436
It's just how I am.
I can't separate things out.
389
00:14:00,593 --> 00:14:03,106
Under what circumstances
390
00:14:03,388 --> 00:14:05,164
would you build a
dresser for a woman?
391
00:14:05,202 --> 00:14:06,492
And this is, like...
392
00:14:06,517 --> 00:14:08,520
and I'm not interested
in sleeping with her?
393
00:14:09,164 --> 00:14:10,172
Um...
394
00:14:11,013 --> 00:14:12,669
- Am I being blackmailed?
- No.
395
00:14:12,701 --> 00:14:13,476
Oh, is it like a...
396
00:14:13,512 --> 00:14:15,395
it's like a Make-A-Wish
Foundation type thing?
397
00:14:15,432 --> 00:14:18,474
- No.
- I mean... Yeah. Marriage.
398
00:14:18,511 --> 00:14:20,264
You know, anything
besides marriage is a...
399
00:14:20,295 --> 00:14:21,483
you know, an abuse.
400
00:14:21,501 --> 00:14:22,491
An abuse?
401
00:14:22,522 --> 00:14:25,304
Yeah, you can't
do that to a friend.
402
00:14:25,460 --> 00:14:27,451
Unless your friend's a chump.
403
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:29,904
Or a certified carpenter--
that would work.
404
00:14:30,017 --> 00:14:32,966
Wait a minute.
This isn't a sex thing, is it?
405
00:14:32,992 --> 00:14:33,901
Because I... you know,
406
00:14:33,919 --> 00:14:35,958
I can't pleasure a woman
407
00:14:36,002 --> 00:14:38,127
and build a dresser
at the same time, you know?
408
00:14:38,180 --> 00:14:39,188
I'm not God.
409
00:14:46,478 --> 00:14:47,878
Hey.
410
00:14:47,885 --> 00:14:48,918
Hey!
411
00:14:49,063 --> 00:14:50,748
Hey! Hey, hey, hey,
what's going on, man?
412
00:14:50,785 --> 00:14:51,801
Are you going
to the dark place?
413
00:14:51,833 --> 00:14:53,573
I'm not going to
the dark place, okay?
414
00:14:53,598 --> 00:14:55,547
I did what you said,
I told her I didn't want
415
00:14:55,578 --> 00:14:56,798
to be her fluffer,
and it went great.
416
00:14:56,816 --> 00:14:58,103
Then what is wrong
with you? Get up, man.
417
00:14:58,134 --> 00:15:00,131
Look, I did what you said,
and I feel terrible.
418
00:15:00,340 --> 00:15:02,016
Because you didn't
set boundaries.
419
00:15:02,055 --> 00:15:03,374
I don't know what
that means, Winston.
420
00:15:03,450 --> 00:15:05,593
As a friend, you can
lift a heavy object,
421
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,892
but you can't drive her
to the airport, okay?
422
00:15:07,962 --> 00:15:09,200
You can hold the
elevator, but only
423
00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:10,481
if you see her running
down the hallway
424
00:15:10,525 --> 00:15:12,181
saying, "Hey, man, please
can you hold the elevator?"
425
00:15:12,216 --> 00:15:13,814
No picnics,
no mini-muffins
426
00:15:13,833 --> 00:15:14,850
and never Adele.
427
00:15:15,031 --> 00:15:16,068
- Adele?
- Never Adele.
428
00:15:16,071 --> 00:15:17,412
- Adele's amazing.
- No Adele.
429
00:15:17,436 --> 00:15:19,802
No concerts, no music,
no T-shirts, no nothing.
430
00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:21,383
- But guys and girls...
- Never Adele!
431
00:15:21,516 --> 00:15:23,746
A little Adele.
432
00:15:23,834 --> 00:15:26,386
Hey. Hey. Hey!
Hey! Hey!
433
00:15:26,423 --> 00:15:28,716
Nick! You're gonna
calm down, okay?
434
00:15:28,801 --> 00:15:30,039
You want my help or what, man?
435
00:15:30,056 --> 00:15:31,216
Yes.
436
00:15:31,242 --> 00:15:32,628
Don't be so intense.
437
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:34,831
Most importantly...
438
00:15:35,051 --> 00:15:37,050
you will not build
her that dresser.
439
00:15:37,232 --> 00:15:38,226
It's furniture.
440
00:15:38,250 --> 00:15:39,803
It implies that one day,
441
00:15:40,019 --> 00:15:42,050
you will share it with her.
442
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:44,045
And that's not gonna happen.
443
00:15:44,315 --> 00:15:47,310
You're right.
You're right.
444
00:15:52,376 --> 00:15:54,367
Are-are you spelling it right?
445
00:15:54,399 --> 00:15:56,406
Two "G"s, silent "B."
446
00:15:56,468 --> 00:15:57,197
Here's a picture
447
00:15:57,226 --> 00:15:58,195
of the whole family.
448
00:15:58,226 --> 00:15:59,800
And you are not in it.
449
00:15:59,824 --> 00:16:01,690
Yeah, well, somebody had
to take the picture, Megan.
450
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,269
Just admit it.
You're not a Romney.
451
00:16:03,306 --> 00:16:05,588
Oh, I'm not a Romney?
Would a non-Romney know this?
452
00:16:05,737 --> 00:16:08,316
That Ma and Pa
never go to bed angry.
453
00:16:08,376 --> 00:16:10,157
That there are 16 grandchildren,
454
00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:12,732
Allie, Joe, Thomas, Gracie,
Wyatt, Parker, Miles, Jonathan,
455
00:16:12,757 --> 00:16:15,388
Sawyer, Nate, Nash, Mia, Owen,
Soleil, Nick and Chloe.
456
00:16:15,413 --> 00:16:16,440
Those are just facts
457
00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:18,293
you got from the Internet.
458
00:16:18,737 --> 00:16:21,219
I'm proud to be a Romney.
459
00:16:21,385 --> 00:16:23,868
Okay? I'm proud to have had
a dad that was around
460
00:16:23,912 --> 00:16:25,206
when I was growing up.
461
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:27,045
A dad that took me camping,
462
00:16:27,098 --> 00:16:28,973
a dad that spent
Saturdays with me,
463
00:16:29,011 --> 00:16:31,043
throwing...
throwing the football.
464
00:16:31,644 --> 00:16:33,040
A dad that gave me a wink
465
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,310
when I left for prom night
466
00:16:34,347 --> 00:16:36,566
and said, "Be safe, son."
467
00:16:36,684 --> 00:16:39,215
When I think of a dad like that,
468
00:16:39,338 --> 00:16:40,361
I'm proud not only
469
00:16:40,387 --> 00:16:42,287
of the Romney name,
but of this country.
470
00:16:42,356 --> 00:16:45,291
God bless Mitt Romney.
471
00:16:45,573 --> 00:16:47,615
God bless America.
472
00:16:48,517 --> 00:16:50,722
It's a candid shot from
the governor's biography.
473
00:16:50,803 --> 00:16:53,334
The caption says,
"The whole family."
474
00:16:55,727 --> 00:16:57,134
Nitpicking turns me off.
475
00:16:57,180 --> 00:16:58,862
You're all horribly
unattractive to me.
476
00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:00,934
Tugg Romney, out.
477
00:17:06,811 --> 00:17:07,747
Hey.
478
00:17:07,792 --> 00:17:08,874
I got your text.
479
00:17:08,912 --> 00:17:11,248
When you're going through
a Taylor Swift-like
480
00:17:11,267 --> 00:17:13,761
range of emotions,
I should come over, right?
481
00:17:13,789 --> 00:17:15,796
You were the only one
that I could talk to.
482
00:17:15,829 --> 00:17:19,136
Being brown, you have
the wisdom of 1,000 white women.
483
00:17:19,298 --> 00:17:20,305
All right.
484
00:17:21,076 --> 00:17:23,076
What happened with that girl?
485
00:17:25,196 --> 00:17:26,328
Winston.
486
00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:28,618
Winston.
487
00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:30,700
- Hey.
- Hmm?
488
00:17:30,729 --> 00:17:32,142
- Are you serious right now?
- Well, I...
489
00:17:32,166 --> 00:17:34,056
- He-he said it was okay.
- She is off limits.
490
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:35,499
Go call your girlfriend.
491
00:17:35,537 --> 00:17:37,743
You obviously have things
you need to work out.
492
00:17:37,802 --> 00:17:39,500
Fine. Fine.
493
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,462
But for the record,
it was loving and tender
494
00:17:42,517 --> 00:17:43,993
and you squeezed
my hand at the end.
495
00:17:44,037 --> 00:17:45,105
Get out of here!
496
00:17:45,729 --> 00:17:46,728
Deviant.
497
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:49,266
Okay, so...
498
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:50,487
tell me what happened.
499
00:17:50,509 --> 00:17:52,388
Well, I'm back
to being Schmidt.
500
00:17:52,469 --> 00:17:53,897
I'm gonna miss it, though.
501
00:17:53,945 --> 00:17:54,948
Being a Romney.
502
00:17:54,980 --> 00:17:56,713
Schmidt, your life
would not have been better
503
00:17:56,731 --> 00:17:58,729
if you were a Romney.
504
00:17:59,569 --> 00:18:01,999
Cece, look, my dad left
505
00:18:02,029 --> 00:18:03,071
when I was eight.
506
00:18:03,510 --> 00:18:04,302
Okay?
507
00:18:04,329 --> 00:18:06,777
And then he went and had
three kids with his new wife,
508
00:18:06,872 --> 00:18:09,102
and me and my mom
were just these two weirdos
509
00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:10,434
who belonged to nobody.
510
00:18:10,730 --> 00:18:12,274
Until she started
spending all this time
511
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,172
with this woman from work who...
512
00:18:14,190 --> 00:18:16,388
who she still lives with today.
513
00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:18,071
Schmidt.
514
00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:20,153
He's your dad. All right?
515
00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:21,289
Find a way to forgive him
516
00:18:21,312 --> 00:18:24,502
for not being a presidential
candidate with great hair.
517
00:18:24,810 --> 00:18:25,737
Forget it.
518
00:18:25,821 --> 00:18:26,846
No one understands.
519
00:18:29,779 --> 00:18:32,066
There, I thought you needed that, okay?
520
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:34,136
- Just take a breath, and it will...
- Shh.
521
00:18:34,244 --> 00:18:36,568
Shh, shh, shh.
522
00:18:36,679 --> 00:18:38,679
It's like memory foam.
523
00:18:43,311 --> 00:18:45,257
Call your dad.
524
00:18:47,107 --> 00:18:49,509
You've been cheating
on me in your mind?
525
00:18:49,534 --> 00:18:51,554
Yes, but, like, to be
fair, you were there.
526
00:18:51,634 --> 00:18:54,118
A lot of times, you would just
pop up mad, but you were there.
527
00:18:54,143 --> 00:18:56,919
Winston, come on, it's fine.
Look, you can think about
528
00:18:56,950 --> 00:18:58,563
whatever you want
to think about.
529
00:18:58,689 --> 00:19:00,994
I know I'm the one
you want to be with.
530
00:19:01,169 --> 00:19:03,694
Come on, want to come
upstairs and watch some SVU?
531
00:19:03,924 --> 00:19:05,880
You want to watch
SVU right now?
532
00:19:05,899 --> 00:19:07,850
Well, I'm too wound up
to watch Raymond.
533
00:19:07,962 --> 00:19:09,374
Look, sometimes after
a big fight,
534
00:19:09,405 --> 00:19:11,168
I like to cool off
with some TV.
535
00:19:11,253 --> 00:19:12,298
What do you mean, big fight?
536
00:19:12,330 --> 00:19:14,227
- We just had a fight.
- We hardly talked.
537
00:19:14,429 --> 00:19:16,449
Like, I want to talk, I want to
fight, I want to do something!
538
00:19:16,562 --> 00:19:19,565
Well, maybe we can fight
in your mind.
539
00:19:25,511 --> 00:19:26,577
Hey.
540
00:19:26,765 --> 00:19:27,960
Stop.
541
00:19:28,016 --> 00:19:29,933
- Jess...
- Stop. Do not... Come on, Nick.
542
00:19:29,970 --> 00:19:31,227
Don't build
that dresser, please.
543
00:19:31,276 --> 00:19:33,301
Jess, it's fine.
I have another one.
544
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:34,671
I need, like, three
to build this thing.
545
00:19:34,696 --> 00:19:35,903
I can't let you fluff me.
546
00:19:35,940 --> 00:19:38,103
I can't let you work
in emotional porn.
547
00:19:38,138 --> 00:19:39,400
You have too much to offer.
548
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:40,313
Forget it, Jess.
549
00:19:40,338 --> 00:19:41,780
I'm building you the dresser.
550
00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:42,870
I love this stuff.
551
00:19:43,114 --> 00:19:44,414
It's like high-stakes Legos.
552
00:19:44,598 --> 00:19:46,498
Okay, but...
553
00:19:46,947 --> 00:19:48,992
I didn't know what
I was doing to you.
554
00:19:49,394 --> 00:19:52,163
I've always had relationships
in different boxes.
555
00:19:52,261 --> 00:19:53,611
Friends in one box,
556
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,048
boyfriends in another.
557
00:19:55,073 --> 00:19:57,059
But now...
558
00:19:57,416 --> 00:19:59,899
it's messy, and...
559
00:20:00,042 --> 00:20:01,981
I don't want to screw up
what I have with you.
560
00:20:02,005 --> 00:20:04,282
- You're too important to me.
- It's different with us.
561
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:07,823
We're just two people
who want to be friends,
562
00:20:07,860 --> 00:20:09,835
but are sometimes
attracted to each other.
563
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,173
- Ha!
- No, no...
564
00:20:11,191 --> 00:20:12,992
You have thought
about the reward.
565
00:20:13,010 --> 00:20:14,567
That's not what I said.
566
00:20:14,604 --> 00:20:16,430
My calculations were correct.
567
00:20:16,470 --> 00:20:17,919
I love deep lunges.
568
00:20:17,953 --> 00:20:20,371
Just don't make a big deal of it.
569
00:20:20,516 --> 00:20:21,684
I just don't need
570
00:20:21,722 --> 00:20:23,078
a bunch of people
571
00:20:23,150 --> 00:20:25,659
telling me what we can
and can't do together.
572
00:20:25,787 --> 00:20:27,803
That pisses me off.
573
00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:29,394
If I want to build
you a dresser,
574
00:20:29,425 --> 00:20:31,232
I'm gonna build you
a damn dresser.
575
00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:34,443
But if you want to
have dates before sex,
576
00:20:34,615 --> 00:20:36,396
just do me a favor
577
00:20:36,537 --> 00:20:38,546
and have them with the guy
you're having sex with.
578
00:20:39,210 --> 00:20:41,141
- Agreed.
- Good.
579
00:20:41,326 --> 00:20:43,489
Maybe I should just
stop trying with Sam.
580
00:20:43,553 --> 00:20:45,153
I'm old-fashioned
below the belt.
581
00:20:45,194 --> 00:20:47,193
I've got a Civil War-era
piece of equipment,
582
00:20:47,219 --> 00:20:48,672
and that's all she wrote.
583
00:20:51,038 --> 00:20:52,007
All right.
584
00:20:52,100 --> 00:20:54,100
I got to give you
something now.
585
00:20:55,294 --> 00:20:59,044
Something... really
close to my heart.
586
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,995
That's Nick's Sexy Mix.
587
00:21:02,038 --> 00:21:04,319
AKA the original fluffer.
588
00:21:04,590 --> 00:21:06,614
"The Humpty Dance"
does it for you, Nick?
589
00:21:07,009 --> 00:21:08,537
Do your thing, girl.
590
00:21:08,988 --> 00:21:10,429
Get crazy.
591
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:16,224
When we're done,
592
00:21:16,251 --> 00:21:18,748
I want you to immediately
turn this off.
593
00:21:19,062 --> 00:21:20,562
Yes.
594
00:21:26,561 --> 00:21:29,561
Ooh...
595
00:21:35,561 --> 00:21:40,561
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www.addic7ed.com
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