1
00:00:02,522 --> 00:00:03,714
Ah!
2
00:00:03,734 --> 00:00:04,945
Look how handsome I look.
3
00:00:04,966 --> 00:00:05,891
That is a woman's coat.
4
00:00:05,908 --> 00:00:08,109
This coat has clean lines...
5
00:00:08,222 --> 00:00:10,140
and pockets that don't quit.
6
00:00:10,180 --> 00:00:11,574
And it has room for your hips.
7
00:00:11,611 --> 00:00:13,663
And when I wear it,
I feel hot to trot.
8
00:00:13,682 --> 00:00:15,248
- You're wearing a dress.
- Yeah, don't say "hot to trot."
9
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:17,341
My coat makes me say
things like that.
10
00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:19,018
First of all, Nick,
it is not your coat.
11
00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:21,347
True, it was delivered
to the wrong address.
12
00:00:21,385 --> 00:00:24,237
But then tell me, why does
it fit like a damn glove?
13
00:00:24,244 --> 00:00:26,694
- What is happening to you, man?
- I don't know if I can give up
14
00:00:26,713 --> 00:00:29,064
looking this damn good--
(rhythmic grunting)
15
00:00:29,382 --> 00:00:31,617
It's someone else's
woman's coat.
16
00:00:31,651 --> 00:00:33,014
(laughs)
SCHMIDT: Nothing?
17
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:34,838
I mean, nothing?
Damn it!
18
00:00:34,874 --> 00:00:36,129
I've been trying
to get something going
19
00:00:36,142 --> 00:00:37,909
with myself for a full hour.
20
00:00:37,939 --> 00:00:39,833
It's like a taffy pull
on a hot summer's day.
21
00:00:39,858 --> 00:00:42,793
Eww! You have
the door open, Schmidt.
22
00:00:42,812 --> 00:00:45,559
I'm over myself-- I just
don't do it for me anymore.
23
00:00:45,756 --> 00:00:47,536
I even bought myself
a sexy pair of underpants
24
00:00:47,555 --> 00:00:49,021
to spice things up--
didn't happen.
25
00:00:49,046 --> 00:00:50,180
I just laid there.
26
00:00:50,197 --> 00:00:51,643
You know what? That's it.
27
00:00:51,764 --> 00:00:53,727
Tonight, I start
having sex again.
28
00:00:53,807 --> 00:00:56,126
Now, are you two gonna join me?
29
00:00:56,162 --> 00:00:57,926
- Not while I'm here, please.
- Is that the way you wanted to say that?
30
00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,258
I'm in, Schmidty!
I am in!
31
00:00:59,289 --> 00:01:00,406
I'm gonna have sex tonight.
32
00:01:00,455 --> 00:01:01,839
Yeah!
(laughing)
33
00:01:02,015 --> 00:01:03,865
SCHMIDT:
Yeah!
34
00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:05,618
♪ Who's that girl?
35
00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:07,716
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ It's Jess.
36
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:11,769
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
37
00:01:12,735 --> 00:01:15,239
I like this feeling, you guys.
I'm liking the vibe
38
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:16,967
that we got going here.
There's definitely gonna
39
00:01:16,996 --> 00:01:18,187
be some sex-having tonight.
40
00:01:18,218 --> 00:01:19,818
- Oh, yeah...
- Damn it, there needs to be.
41
00:01:19,860 --> 00:01:22,012
You know I haven't had
sex since Labor Day?
42
00:01:22,094 --> 00:01:24,270
I know what the problem is--
I want it too bad.
43
00:01:24,299 --> 00:01:25,748
So, what's your name?
44
00:01:28,657 --> 00:01:31,847
Winst... W-W-W... yeah.
45
00:01:31,978 --> 00:01:33,352
You just need
a confidence boost.
46
00:01:33,395 --> 00:01:35,352
Good news--
I'm lousy with the stuff
47
00:01:35,383 --> 00:01:36,260
I got your back tonight.
48
00:01:36,273 --> 00:01:38,441
And you, London Fog, you're
looking hot to trot, baby.
49
00:01:38,497 --> 00:01:40,285
- Any chance you're gonna take that coat off?
- This jacket? No way.
50
00:01:40,316 --> 00:01:41,446
- I'm keeping the jacket on.
- Take the jacket off.
51
00:01:41,471 --> 00:01:42,671
- No, I'm keeping the jacket on.
- No, it's fine.
52
00:01:42,706 --> 00:01:45,134
- Band of brothers.
- Band of brothers, yeah!
53
00:01:45,159 --> 00:01:47,525
The club's up...
Dance, dummy.
54
00:01:47,550 --> 00:01:49,582
Hey, guys.
Guess what?
55
00:01:49,650 --> 00:01:52,738
Sam has the late shift and
Cece's on a date with some Indian guy,
56
00:01:52,769 --> 00:01:55,058
so world's best wing-woman
reporting for duty.
57
00:01:55,077 --> 00:01:56,578
Jess, you can't come.
58
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:57,809
- What?
- Look,
59
00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,431
I actually want
to get girls tonight.
60
00:02:00,473 --> 00:02:01,687
You're my cooler.
61
00:02:01,714 --> 00:02:02,793
What?
62
00:02:02,824 --> 00:02:04,658
All I do is help
you get laid, Nick.
63
00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:08,361
Maureen, did you have one
very special long-time love?
64
00:02:08,431 --> 00:02:09,387
Yes.
65
00:02:09,409 --> 00:02:11,056
You should be with him.
66
00:02:12,990 --> 00:02:15,537
- I'm not your cooler.
- It's not you.
67
00:02:15,739 --> 00:02:17,373
It's the way that you behave.
68
00:02:17,407 --> 00:02:18,707
And the things that you say.
69
00:02:18,742 --> 00:02:20,298
And the look on your face.
70
00:02:20,335 --> 00:02:21,218
And...
71
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:22,698
It is you.
72
00:02:22,831 --> 00:02:24,426
It's just you--
you're the cooler.
73
00:02:24,462 --> 00:02:26,431
I'm sorry, but you can't
come with us tonight.
74
00:02:26,456 --> 00:02:27,922
I get it. Um...
75
00:02:27,959 --> 00:02:30,785
I just... I have, um,
a lot of things I have to do.
76
00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:32,290
More important stuff to do here.
77
00:02:32,321 --> 00:02:34,104
I have to clean out
my closet and...
78
00:02:34,129 --> 00:02:36,081
- Oh, yeah. - I have an ice
cream maker to try out.
79
00:02:36,103 --> 00:02:38,000
That's better than going
to a stupid club.
80
00:02:38,028 --> 00:02:40,068
- It's gonna be awesome. It's
gonna be great. - Shut up.
81
00:02:44,124 --> 00:02:46,991
Get out of here, girl,
you're missing nothing.
82
00:02:48,140 --> 00:02:50,040
- It's gonna get so crazy.
- Come on, buddy, get in there.
83
00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:51,944
Get crunk with us, bro.
84
00:02:52,175 --> 00:02:53,900
- Yeah-ha-ha!
- Yeah!
85
00:02:54,961 --> 00:02:57,405
I can't believe you got us kicked
out of the discotheque, Nick.
86
00:02:57,423 --> 00:02:58,914
- I didn't even do anything.
- Damn it, Nick,
87
00:02:58,951 --> 00:03:00,692
take the coat off, all right?
It freaks girls out.
88
00:03:00,716 --> 00:03:03,051
Well, maybe they're freaked out 'cause
you're not wearing a trench coat.
89
00:03:03,086 --> 00:03:04,677
- Yeah? Have you ever thought of that?
- Okay, guys, please--
90
00:03:04,695 --> 00:03:05,712
no more friendly fire.
91
00:03:05,736 --> 00:03:06,653
- All right.
- Okay.
92
00:03:07,256 --> 00:03:08,307
Ooh, Schmidty type.
93
00:03:08,358 --> 00:03:09,942
That's a Schmidty type
right there.
94
00:03:09,976 --> 00:03:11,851
(all three talking at once)
95
00:03:11,883 --> 00:03:14,239
- That's me. Yeah, yeah.
- Schmidty time...
96
00:03:14,258 --> 00:03:16,779
- I feel good. Yeah.
- Schmidty time.
97
00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:18,756
- Schmidt! Hey, dude!
- What?!
98
00:03:18,775 --> 00:03:19,825
What about band of brothers?
99
00:03:19,853 --> 00:03:21,003
Your friendship
means nothing to me.
100
00:03:21,025 --> 00:03:21,975
Every man for himself.
101
00:03:22,006 --> 00:03:23,150
- Hey, uh...
- Hey.
102
00:03:23,174 --> 00:03:25,255
I was, uh...
103
00:03:26,878 --> 00:03:27,895
(laughs)
104
00:03:29,207 --> 00:03:30,174
(clicks tongue)
105
00:03:30,208 --> 00:03:32,176
Most... M-M...
106
00:03:32,217 --> 00:03:34,352
Okay... Yeah, can you...
(clears throat)
107
00:03:34,405 --> 00:03:35,856
- In the beginning...
- Tap out, man. Tap out.
108
00:03:35,874 --> 00:03:38,108
What happened to building
my confidence, Schmidty?
109
00:03:38,126 --> 00:03:39,426
You went in too soon.
Get out of here.
110
00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:40,370
- Go.
- Go.
111
00:03:40,843 --> 00:03:42,480
- Hey.
- What's happening?
112
00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:43,568
Hi.
113
00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:47,500
(sighs)
114
00:03:47,712 --> 00:03:49,308
Wow, that was embarrassing.
115
00:03:53,089 --> 00:03:54,345
(quietly):
Yeah...
116
00:03:54,382 --> 00:03:55,257
(clears throat)
Well..
117
00:03:55,643 --> 00:03:56,869
You can relax.
118
00:03:56,918 --> 00:03:57,918
I'm taken.
119
00:03:59,314 --> 00:04:01,628
You were very beautiful
from across the bar.
120
00:04:01,672 --> 00:04:02,903
I'm sorry. I'm Schmidt.
121
00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:05,743
I'm sorry... we were
talking, Schmidt.
122
00:04:05,999 --> 00:04:08,643
What a ten, what
a beautiful woman.
123
00:04:08,678 --> 00:04:10,447
He works here. As a bartender.
124
00:04:10,479 --> 00:04:12,930
Yeah, I do.
(laughs)
125
00:04:21,531 --> 00:04:23,079
What do you think, Nick?
126
00:04:26,627 --> 00:04:28,603
I'm bored!
127
00:04:31,217 --> 00:04:33,385
No bottoms, no bottoms.
128
00:04:33,576 --> 00:04:34,978
Bottoms on top!
129
00:04:36,112 --> 00:04:39,306
(monotone): Robot can't find
clothes to fit right.
130
00:04:39,325 --> 00:04:41,794
Robot can't find clothes.
131
00:04:41,828 --> 00:04:44,554
♪
132
00:04:44,746 --> 00:04:45,758
(speaking in slow-motion):
133
00:04:45,783 --> 00:04:48,754
I do it for Kenya.
134
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:50,691
(thud)
(panting)
135
00:04:51,114 --> 00:04:52,295
Silver?!
136
00:04:53,034 --> 00:04:55,013
Damn you, Zimbabwe.
137
00:04:55,091 --> 00:04:56,708
(panting, tapping on door)
138
00:04:57,917 --> 00:04:58,736
JESS:
Hello?
139
00:04:58,774 --> 00:05:01,175
(scratching on door)
140
00:05:03,998 --> 00:05:05,529
Hello?
141
00:05:13,017 --> 00:05:14,166
Nice coat you got there.
142
00:05:14,191 --> 00:05:16,054
Well, I just actually wear it
'cause it gives me confidence.
143
00:05:16,085 --> 00:05:17,085
That's kind of sad.
144
00:05:17,116 --> 00:05:18,953
You know what's really sad
is that he stole the jacket.
145
00:05:18,977 --> 00:05:20,641
It's not technically stealing.
146
00:05:20,669 --> 00:05:22,324
He's still reeling
from being dumped.
147
00:05:22,366 --> 00:05:23,579
- Aw.
- He's attached to it.
148
00:05:23,602 --> 00:05:24,863
Like a little bitch "bwanky."
149
00:05:24,894 --> 00:05:25,950
It's not like a blanky, dude.
150
00:05:25,988 --> 00:05:27,405
- It looks like a "bwanky."
- It's not like my "bwanky."
151
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,682
The only reason I'm out tonight is to
make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.
152
00:05:29,719 --> 00:05:31,246
That's not true.
I'm not gonna...
153
00:05:31,277 --> 00:05:32,944
Shut up, Schmidt.
154
00:05:33,581 --> 00:05:35,018
I mean, I could
take care of you,
155
00:05:35,047 --> 00:05:36,419
- if you wanted.
- You can what?
156
00:05:36,438 --> 00:05:39,056
I love sad guys and you
seem sadder than most.
157
00:05:39,235 --> 00:05:41,097
I think your plan sounds okay.
158
00:05:41,115 --> 00:05:42,763
When you go home at night,
do you look in the mirror
159
00:05:42,782 --> 00:05:44,485
and just think,
"I am the worst"?
160
00:05:45,071 --> 00:05:46,590
- Actually yes, I do.
- Yeah?
161
00:05:46,621 --> 00:05:48,502
- Yeah, a lot of the times.
- You hate yourself?
162
00:05:48,733 --> 00:05:50,154
I definitely don't like myself.
163
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,750
It's right on the line of hate.
164
00:05:52,132 --> 00:05:53,859
What the hell is this?
165
00:05:54,043 --> 00:05:56,423
I don't know how
to talk to women.
166
00:05:56,608 --> 00:05:58,259
Reason being, I feel like
167
00:05:58,296 --> 00:06:00,161
you all think that I just
want one thing from you.
168
00:06:00,179 --> 00:06:01,822
- Mm-hmm.
- I want the one thing.
169
00:06:01,847 --> 00:06:03,797
But a bunch of other th... can
a man just want all the things?
170
00:06:03,815 --> 00:06:04,932
I mean, damn.
171
00:06:04,973 --> 00:06:06,357
I like a challenge.
172
00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:09,258
And you are one big challenge.
173
00:06:09,521 --> 00:06:11,211
- I'm Daisy.
- Winston.
174
00:06:11,297 --> 00:06:13,506
Sam, it's Jess.
175
00:06:13,679 --> 00:06:15,230
Please come get me.
176
00:06:15,687 --> 00:06:19,020
I'm probably fine,
but I also might be dead.
177
00:06:19,134 --> 00:06:20,135
Good-bye.
178
00:06:20,164 --> 00:06:21,729
(beep)
It's Cece, leave a message.
179
00:06:21,754 --> 00:06:23,712
Cece, it's Jess-- call me back,
180
00:06:23,737 --> 00:06:24,926
I'm alone in the loft.
181
00:06:24,963 --> 00:06:26,893
I think there's something out...
(phone beeps)
182
00:06:28,549 --> 00:06:30,986
There's something sexy about
a man who just needs me
183
00:06:31,017 --> 00:06:32,280
to make him feel better.
184
00:06:32,316 --> 00:06:34,217
I honestly need you to make me feel better.
(cell phone rings)
185
00:06:34,242 --> 00:06:35,806
- Nicholas, your phone's ringing.
- Not now, Schmidt!
186
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,547
- Hey, Jess. It's Jess.
- Schmidt, stop.
187
00:06:37,572 --> 00:06:39,306
- You should really talk to her.
- Unbelievable. I am so sad.
188
00:06:39,348 --> 00:06:40,723
Nicholas, you have
a phone call.
189
00:06:40,751 --> 00:06:42,422
Don't do this,
Schmidt, please don't.
190
00:06:42,433 --> 00:06:44,459
You are the dumbest...
191
00:06:44,561 --> 00:06:45,880
Would you wait one second?
192
00:06:45,908 --> 00:06:47,552
I'm just...
I just have to do this.
193
00:06:47,820 --> 00:06:50,022
- I'll be sad in a second.
- Yep.
194
00:06:51,573 --> 00:06:52,624
- Hi.
- Hi.
195
00:06:52,642 --> 00:06:54,242
- I'm sad.
- Okay.
196
00:06:54,266 --> 00:06:55,593
Uh, what is going on?
197
00:06:55,628 --> 00:06:58,436
There's something at the door
and you have to come home.
198
00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,077
Cooler, Jess-- you are being
a cooler right now.
199
00:07:00,101 --> 00:07:02,403
Seriously, I think
it might be gang related.
200
00:07:02,449 --> 00:07:04,976
I've always been worried
about my blue curtains...
201
00:07:05,443 --> 00:07:06,618
(whispers):
Crips.
202
00:07:06,674 --> 00:07:08,944
- The Cri... Jess, I'm done!
JESS:- Nick,
203
00:07:09,025 --> 00:07:10,191
I need you.
204
00:07:13,013 --> 00:07:13,986
Yeah, so this is the place.
205
00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:16,197
I'm really glad you're here.
The bedrooms are that way...
206
00:07:16,222 --> 00:07:16,974
(shrieking)
207
00:07:16,983 --> 00:07:18,867
(all screaming)
208
00:07:20,889 --> 00:07:23,215
What are you doing, pal?
209
00:07:23,253 --> 00:07:25,111
Never leave me alone again.
210
00:07:25,141 --> 00:07:27,360
I'd like to introduce you
to our roommate Jess.
211
00:07:27,464 --> 00:07:29,014
Welcome to our home.
212
00:07:31,667 --> 00:07:33,726
Jess, this loft
has old pipes--
213
00:07:33,738 --> 00:07:34,999
I've told you that
a million times,
214
00:07:35,015 --> 00:07:36,582
but you never listen
during pipe talk.
215
00:07:36,619 --> 00:07:38,453
Well, pipe talk's boring.
216
00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:40,115
- What is this?
- What is what...?
217
00:07:41,191 --> 00:07:42,142
(laughs)
218
00:07:42,306 --> 00:07:43,526
You drew my face on a melon?
219
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,034
What else was I supposed
to draw your face on?
220
00:07:45,061 --> 00:07:46,414
Nothing. Don't draw my face.
221
00:07:46,439 --> 00:07:47,628
- Okay.
- Jess,
222
00:07:47,648 --> 00:07:49,466
for some reason,
that girl out there,
223
00:07:49,484 --> 00:07:50,821
she is sexually
224
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,964
aroused by other
people's misery.
225
00:07:54,138 --> 00:07:56,540
Do you understand
the position that puts me in?
226
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:57,784
It puts you in
a really good position?
227
00:07:57,808 --> 00:08:00,160
It really does.
And then what happens?
228
00:08:00,181 --> 00:08:02,647
Okay, I understand how,
in this instance,
229
00:08:02,665 --> 00:08:03,956
I might have cooled
things off for you.
230
00:08:03,981 --> 00:08:06,833
- Thank you for admitting that.
- I am prepared to fix it.
231
00:08:06,868 --> 00:08:10,061
'Cause, son, I'm gonna
get you laid.
232
00:08:10,087 --> 00:08:12,081
Okay, it's not how it is and
never call me "son"
233
00:08:12,112 --> 00:08:13,432
and don't talk like that.
234
00:08:14,123 --> 00:08:15,351
The game is True American
235
00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:17,740
but with a sexy new twist:
Clinton rules.
236
00:08:17,761 --> 00:08:18,483
Pick your interns.
237
00:08:18,516 --> 00:08:21,183
- I don't understand the game.
- Uh, you're gonna be my intern.
238
00:08:21,202 --> 00:08:21,994
It's okay, it's stripping.
239
00:08:22,016 --> 00:08:23,519
It's not just stripping,
it's sexy.
240
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:24,600
Okay, so what exactly
are the rules?
241
00:08:24,635 --> 00:08:27,337
- The floor is lava, doves versus hawks.
- The couch is the Mason-Dixon line.
242
00:08:27,355 --> 00:08:28,355
We're not doing
cabinets-- no cabinets.
243
00:08:28,389 --> 00:08:29,723
- No cabinet.
- No cabinets.
244
00:08:29,774 --> 00:08:31,308
One, two, three, four, JFK!
245
00:08:31,342 --> 00:08:32,559
ALL:
FDR!
246
00:08:32,610 --> 00:08:33,894
Go, go--
that's the lava!
247
00:08:33,945 --> 00:08:35,645
(clamoring)
248
00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:37,481
- Down, down in the tunnel.
- No.
249
00:08:37,515 --> 00:08:39,032
I'm the President,
you're the Vice President.
250
00:08:39,066 --> 00:08:39,533
Joe Biden!
251
00:08:39,567 --> 00:08:40,704
- It's Abu Nazir!
- Where?
252
00:08:40,722 --> 00:08:44,007
- No, no, no, no! Spin, spin, spin, spin!
- Fly! Do the chicken dance!
253
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,355
- No, no counter clock-wise?
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
254
00:08:46,407 --> 00:08:48,639
Holly, you're in the
Amber Waves of Grain.
255
00:08:48,758 --> 00:08:50,132
You have to lose your jacket.
256
00:08:50,157 --> 00:08:51,563
- I...
- Take off your jacket; She's right.
257
00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:52,963
Those are the rules.
258
00:08:52,988 --> 00:08:54,797
Is there, like, a printout of
the rules I can see, or...?
259
00:08:54,828 --> 00:08:55,995
- No!
- No!
260
00:08:56,029 --> 00:08:57,029
I thought this was like music...
261
00:08:57,049 --> 00:08:58,416
Howard Dean Scream.
262
00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,751
ALL:
Yeah!
263
00:09:01,522 --> 00:09:02,624
God...
264
00:09:02,877 --> 00:09:04,878
I am sorry I was crying so much.
265
00:09:05,143 --> 00:09:07,502
God, that film,
it just... it just reminded me
266
00:09:07,533 --> 00:09:09,642
how much I want
to have kids, you know?
267
00:09:11,207 --> 00:09:12,664
Was that just
a really weird thing
268
00:09:12,694 --> 00:09:14,677
- to say on a first date?
- No.
269
00:09:14,691 --> 00:09:16,688
Are you sure?
It felt a bit weird.
270
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:20,706
Oh, my best friend has
texted me, like, 12 times.
271
00:09:20,870 --> 00:09:22,651
I get it-- you're just trying
to get out of the date.
272
00:09:22,682 --> 00:09:24,731
- No, no, no-- no, this is real.
- It's the kids thing. I knew it.
273
00:09:24,756 --> 00:09:26,972
Some psycho keeps scratching at
her door and then running away.
274
00:09:26,990 --> 00:09:30,115
She's pretty sure it's
the Calabasas Scratcher.
275
00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:31,263
- I mean, is that a thing?
- What?
276
00:09:31,294 --> 00:09:34,034
- I don't keep up with local news.
- I don't know, it's fine.
277
00:09:34,065 --> 00:09:35,366
You don't have to lie to me.
278
00:09:35,391 --> 00:09:36,667
- I get it.
- You can come with me.
279
00:09:36,692 --> 00:09:38,059
Okay? Then you'll see.
280
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,416
- Well, all right.
- She's just like this.
281
00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:40,987
ALL (chanting):
Schmidt, Schmidt, Schmidt!
282
00:09:41,019 --> 00:09:43,420
- Schmidt, Schmidt, Schmidt!
- Gettysburg, Bull Run.
283
00:09:43,431 --> 00:09:46,099
Oh, no, oh, no,
I think I fell-- oh, no.
284
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,891
In the course of human events,
you must...
285
00:09:47,922 --> 00:09:49,651
ALL:
Surrender your shirt!
286
00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,201
Fine, I'll take off my shirt.
287
00:09:51,226 --> 00:09:53,108
He did it on purpose--
he did it to impress her!
288
00:09:53,139 --> 00:09:54,401
- U.S.A.
- I am not...
289
00:09:54,432 --> 00:09:55,510
ALL:
I am not a crook!
290
00:09:55,541 --> 00:09:58,064
- I am not a crook!
- What do you mean, man?
291
00:09:58,107 --> 00:10:00,275
I took my shirt off! Wait!
It's part of the game, you guys!
292
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:02,813
- Up, up, up.
- I'm up! Oh, wow!
293
00:10:02,832 --> 00:10:05,033
This footstool really
reminds me of my ex.
294
00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:08,189
Liar! Holly, Holly, look at
these-- these are my abs.
295
00:10:08,223 --> 00:10:10,485
Hard to believe that I used to
be a great big fat person.
296
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,035
Oh, fat makes me so sad.
297
00:10:12,067 --> 00:10:14,573
- Yeah, it makes me sad, too.
- I'm chubby... I'm a fat guy.
298
00:10:14,604 --> 00:10:16,288
- You look great, man.
- I'm a fat boy.
299
00:10:16,309 --> 00:10:17,548
- Feel where the fat used to be?
- Yeah.
300
00:10:17,579 --> 00:10:18,976
Yeah, it's been replaced
with phantom fat.
301
00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:20,306
I still feel it jiggle.
302
00:10:20,324 --> 00:10:24,518
Hey, Schmidt, your butt just violated
the Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act1
303
00:10:24,549 --> 00:10:26,663
Westward Ho, son!
Westward Ho.
304
00:10:26,683 --> 00:10:28,720
- Bye-bye, Schmidt.
- Damn it.
305
00:10:28,745 --> 00:10:31,247
Come on, all you got to do is talk to her,
what's the big deal?
306
00:10:31,278 --> 00:10:32,979
Okay, mm...
307
00:10:33,344 --> 00:10:35,477
You're at the bar-- I'm Holly.
308
00:10:35,513 --> 00:10:37,460
Boy, am I thirsty.
309
00:10:37,491 --> 00:10:39,074
I was wondering if, like...
310
00:10:39,126 --> 00:10:40,928
if you want... if you want,
per chance, like...
311
00:10:40,953 --> 00:10:42,147
"Per chance," really?
312
00:10:42,186 --> 00:10:43,944
Hm? No, it's, uh...
313
00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:46,064
- You're a swell kind of gal.
- Getting worse.
314
00:10:46,417 --> 00:10:47,501
You come on out to the bar.
315
00:10:47,544 --> 00:10:48,761
(imitates retching)
316
00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:50,481
Hey, girl, what your name is?
317
00:10:50,499 --> 00:10:52,145
- Oh, my God.
- What that thing do?
318
00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:53,336
Oh, my God.
319
00:10:53,367 --> 00:10:54,992
- Out of all the gals in this...
- God... what...
320
00:10:55,023 --> 00:10:57,838
- you walked into mine.
- Please.
321
00:10:58,048 --> 00:11:00,266
- Um...
- Yeah, take a sip.
322
00:11:00,281 --> 00:11:01,654
Okay, look,
I think you're amazing.
323
00:11:01,672 --> 00:11:03,523
Would you like to have
a drink with me?
324
00:11:03,928 --> 00:11:05,795
Yes, yes, I will.
325
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:06,995
Now give me that.
326
00:11:07,010 --> 00:11:07,969
(both chuckle)
327
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,661
This coat is an unfair
advantage-- take it off.
328
00:11:09,686 --> 00:11:10,791
I love the coat.
329
00:11:10,816 --> 00:11:11,883
Take the coat off!
330
00:11:11,906 --> 00:11:12,723
Hey, Schmidt!
331
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,707
Hey, hey! No!
332
00:11:14,725 --> 00:11:15,875
Order! Order!
333
00:11:15,906 --> 00:11:18,421
All right, there's only
one way to solve this.
334
00:11:18,509 --> 00:11:20,537
Two of us have to go
behind the Iron Curtain,
335
00:11:20,562 --> 00:11:22,564
which is that door
there, and kiss.
336
00:11:22,588 --> 00:11:24,766
And there has to be a "clear
337
00:11:24,804 --> 00:11:27,739
- and present threat of tongue."
- This is why I voted for you.
338
00:11:27,763 --> 00:11:29,737
- Holly, you ready for this?
- Definitely against the president's order.
339
00:11:29,774 --> 00:11:30,907
- Ready?
NICK:- Let's do the count.
340
00:11:30,935 --> 00:11:32,785
- The two, three or four.
- So when we do this, do two.
341
00:11:32,825 --> 00:11:33,398
Okay.
342
00:11:33,417 --> 00:11:35,392
- Not three, not one, not four-- two.
- A one or a three. Anything but a two.
343
00:11:35,409 --> 00:11:37,018
- Just not a two.
- Two. Do you hear me? Two. Not four.
344
00:11:37,043 --> 00:11:38,511
One, two, three.
345
00:11:38,648 --> 00:11:41,324
- What are you doing?
- You said not to do a two!
346
00:11:41,351 --> 00:11:43,186
NICK:
I made it so clear!
347
00:11:44,974 --> 00:11:46,992
- No...!
- No...!
348
00:11:47,014 --> 00:11:48,514
- ...brought the change in!
- Mulligan! Mulligan!
349
00:11:48,546 --> 00:11:50,530
Holly, wait for me!
I'm very sad!
350
00:11:50,561 --> 00:11:52,074
ALL:
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
351
00:11:52,104 --> 00:11:54,689
Open the door!
Open the door!
352
00:11:54,724 --> 00:11:57,368
(muffled): Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
353
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,734
(whistling)
354
00:11:59,765 --> 00:12:01,385
I can see how
in this second instance
355
00:12:01,404 --> 00:12:02,995
I might be considered
a cooler...
356
00:12:03,238 --> 00:12:04,767
if you want to label me.
357
00:12:04,786 --> 00:12:06,036
You think?
358
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:12,284
ALL (chanting):
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
359
00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:15,683
Okay, we kissed. Let us out.
Sent you a picture.
360
00:12:17,441 --> 00:12:18,711
WINSTON:
That ain't no kiss, man!
361
00:12:18,741 --> 00:12:20,783
Come on, Inspector Gadget,
inspect those tonsils.
362
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:24,028
Just give Jess
a tender, sensual kiss,
363
00:12:24,058 --> 00:12:25,375
and we will let you right out.
364
00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:27,105
- Shut up, Schmidt!
- Schmidt, stay out of this!
365
00:12:27,123 --> 00:12:28,535
SCHMIDT: Please stop
yelling at me!
366
00:12:28,557 --> 00:12:31,070
You know that I'm ten percent more
emotionally fragile than Nick right now.
367
00:12:31,087 --> 00:12:32,594
No, no, don't!
No, please!
368
00:12:32,654 --> 00:12:34,089
Don't! Don't!
369
00:12:34,138 --> 00:12:35,509
Do you mind if I tell you
a story?
370
00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:37,523
- Is it sad?
- Holly, he's really happy!
371
00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:39,475
He's got a 401K
and a six-pack!
372
00:12:39,499 --> 00:12:40,675
Well, it's the tale
373
00:12:40,706 --> 00:12:42,933
of an uber successful
marketing executive's journey...
374
00:12:42,958 --> 00:12:45,005
- I'm hairy and chubby!
- ...into heartbreak.
375
00:12:45,026 --> 00:12:45,698
Mm-hmm.
376
00:12:45,725 --> 00:12:47,169
Her name was Cecelia.
377
00:12:47,196 --> 00:12:49,048
No!
378
00:12:49,123 --> 00:12:50,907
Come on, come on. Holly, wait!
379
00:12:50,962 --> 00:12:53,480
Ugh! What is the big deal?
380
00:12:53,677 --> 00:12:55,515
Let's just suck it up
and French a little.
381
00:12:55,540 --> 00:12:56,873
Okay, fine, but don't say
382
00:12:56,892 --> 00:12:58,476
"Let's suck it up
and French a little."
383
00:12:58,488 --> 00:12:59,839
Okay, fine. Let's do this.
384
00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:05,056
- What were you doing?!
- Well, I thought you're sitting on the ground.
385
00:13:05,078 --> 00:13:06,200
- No. I... Okay.
- Uh!
386
00:13:06,237 --> 00:13:08,748
Okay, Jess, hey,
this is not a big deal.
387
00:13:08,778 --> 00:13:10,283
- Okay, not a big deal.
- Let's just do it.
388
00:13:10,302 --> 00:13:11,822
- Fine. Let's just do it.
- Okay. Great, yeah.
389
00:13:11,855 --> 00:13:13,326
Let's just do it.
390
00:13:13,346 --> 00:13:14,315
Okay, cool.
391
00:13:14,346 --> 00:13:15,459
Why are you licking your lips?
392
00:13:15,498 --> 00:13:17,983
- Should I not? Do you
want dry lips? - No.
393
00:13:18,026 --> 00:13:19,509
Then I'm just licking 'em
to make 'em better.
394
00:13:19,546 --> 00:13:20,696
- Okay.
- Fine.
395
00:13:20,764 --> 00:13:22,648
- Do it.
- I'm doing it.
396
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:24,224
Fine, then do it.
397
00:13:24,765 --> 00:13:25,682
Are you a tongue-er?
398
00:13:25,716 --> 00:13:27,550
- Am I a tongue-er?
- I don't want to put
399
00:13:27,582 --> 00:13:28,816
my tongue in your mouth,
if you don't like it.
400
00:13:28,844 --> 00:13:30,800
- Just kiss me!
- Okay, all right, great.
401
00:13:30,831 --> 00:13:32,865
- That's what I'm gonna do.
- All right.
402
00:13:33,923 --> 00:13:35,048
- Ready?
- Yeah.
403
00:13:35,079 --> 00:13:37,752
One, two... I'm actually
not gonna do a count.
404
00:13:37,786 --> 00:13:39,404
- Okay.
- That's not my style when I kiss.
405
00:13:39,461 --> 00:13:40,661
- I don't count down before...
- Okay.
406
00:13:40,688 --> 00:13:43,073
- I don't think so.
- Okay.
407
00:13:43,601 --> 00:13:45,118
- Ready?
- Yep.
408
00:13:46,228 --> 00:13:48,646
- I'm sorry. You can't do that.
- What did I do?
409
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,197
- Your face.
- My face?
410
00:13:50,224 --> 00:13:51,892
Yeah, you can't do that
with your face.
411
00:13:51,912 --> 00:13:53,475
Okay, I'll do something
different with my face.
412
00:13:53,493 --> 00:13:55,138
Okay, all right, great.
413
00:13:56,363 --> 00:13:58,176
Wait-- you can't kiss
with your teeth!
414
00:13:58,207 --> 00:13:59,740
Okay, I can't--
no, I can't do this.
415
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,788
Well, you can't try to kiss me
like a Joker and expect...
416
00:14:01,813 --> 00:14:03,776
Okay, you're...
let me out of here!
417
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:06,061
NICK:- Let me out! - Sometimes, I
hear her name when the wind blows.
418
00:14:06,101 --> 00:14:07,051
NICK: Please!
419
00:14:07,086 --> 00:14:09,320
NICK:- Open the door!
- (whooshing) Cece.
420
00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:12,214
You know, I left something
behind in the desert that day:
421
00:14:12,254 --> 00:14:13,888
My faith and true love...
422
00:14:13,922 --> 00:14:16,234
and my future biracial child.
423
00:14:16,367 --> 00:14:18,134
You, you kind of lost me there.
424
00:14:18,152 --> 00:14:19,637
Not really doing it for me.
425
00:14:19,677 --> 00:14:21,345
It's more depressing than sad.
426
00:14:21,364 --> 00:14:22,596
- It's not depress...
- It's depressing.
427
00:14:22,614 --> 00:14:24,083
- It's sort of depressing.
- No, no, no, it's not depressing.
428
00:14:24,107 --> 00:14:27,056
I'm gonna tell you why it's not depressing.
Because she is still in love with me.
429
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:29,891
I'm over it completely.
430
00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:33,147
Having said that,
it's so hard to move on.
431
00:14:33,196 --> 00:14:34,605
- Do-do you know what I mean?
- Yes.
432
00:14:34,648 --> 00:14:36,428
- Can you help me move on, Holly?
- You need help moving.
433
00:14:36,453 --> 00:14:38,066
- Can you heal my pain?
- I can heal your pain.
434
00:14:38,084 --> 00:14:39,232
- Can you ple...
- I can heal you.
435
00:14:39,255 --> 00:14:40,421
Yeah, you can heal my...
436
00:14:40,453 --> 00:14:41,978
Hey, Jess? Where's Jess? Jess,
437
00:14:42,013 --> 00:14:43,881
where are you?
I came as fast as I can.
438
00:14:43,901 --> 00:14:46,208
NICK:- Cece, open the door!
JESS:- Cece, don't worry! I'm just trapped
439
00:14:46,232 --> 00:14:47,739
- I need to kill Schmidt!
- Until I kiss Nick!
440
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,105
- What?
- You're the... She's the Cece?
441
00:14:50,125 --> 00:14:53,164
- Right there, in the flesh.
- You are obsessed!
442
00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:55,743
Cece, honey,
you have to move on, okay?
443
00:14:55,768 --> 00:14:57,473
You can't love somebody
forever.
444
00:14:57,510 --> 00:15:00,003
I'm sorry.
You love that small shiny man?
445
00:15:00,034 --> 00:15:01,481
- No!
- What do you mean, small, man?
446
00:15:01,512 --> 00:15:03,013
None of this is true.
447
00:15:03,138 --> 00:15:05,352
No, because I'm on a date.
448
00:15:05,417 --> 00:15:07,846
Should we make out to make him
jealous or something?
449
00:15:08,193 --> 00:15:09,977
Are you lying to me?
I really hate being lied to.
450
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:11,550
I would never lie to you.
I haven't lied to you
451
00:15:11,588 --> 00:15:14,611
this whole time we've been
in this loft-- that's a fact.
452
00:15:15,484 --> 00:15:17,059
- Cece, uh...
- Hey.
453
00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:19,925
...please tell me,
in front of Holly,
454
00:15:19,988 --> 00:15:21,694
how much you still love me.
455
00:15:21,718 --> 00:15:23,162
I'm sorry.
Is this why we came here?
456
00:15:23,180 --> 00:15:25,630
- Please, I don't really know
what that accent is. - English.
457
00:15:25,661 --> 00:15:27,856
I speak English. That
didn't sound like English.
458
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:30,658
It will be my final request,
459
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:31,897
I promise,
460
00:15:31,909 --> 00:15:35,230
so both of us can move on.
461
00:15:35,336 --> 00:15:38,792
- 'Cause I, you know, I'd really
like to move on. - I get it.
462
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:42,068
- I'd like to move on all night long with Holly.
- Okay, I get it.
463
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:47,896
I'm only gonna say this
one more time.
464
00:15:47,945 --> 00:15:51,278
I always have
and always will...
465
00:15:52,114 --> 00:15:54,026
love you.
466
00:15:56,018 --> 00:15:58,409
All right, all right, you know,
this is the most elaborate way
467
00:15:58,446 --> 00:16:01,061
to get out of dating me that
I've ever experienced, so...
468
00:16:01,104 --> 00:16:02,522
(mouthing)
469
00:16:04,683 --> 00:16:06,052
Winny, it's Nicky.
470
00:16:06,089 --> 00:16:07,158
Open the door, man!
471
00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:09,319
- I guess the game's over.
- I thought we were working together.
472
00:16:09,358 --> 00:16:10,509
I was gonna start on
your confidence
473
00:16:10,527 --> 00:16:12,059
and work my way up
to your facial hair.
474
00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:13,702
What's your fiancé
gonna say about that?
475
00:16:13,727 --> 00:16:16,906
Oh, this? I just wear it
so guys don't hit on me in bars.
476
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:18,639
- Okay.
- I'm single.
477
00:16:18,817 --> 00:16:20,180
What are you gonna
do about it, huh?
478
00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:22,473
- I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna do.
- Okay, I'm waiting.
479
00:16:22,491 --> 00:16:24,668
- Um, so...
- Still waiting.
480
00:16:24,686 --> 00:16:25,920
NICK:
Don't say anything!
481
00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:27,192
JESS: She sounds weird!
Just let us out!
482
00:16:27,212 --> 00:16:29,330
NICK:- Just open the door.
- Yeah.
483
00:16:36,084 --> 00:16:38,386
C minus.
You kiss like a damn bitch.
484
00:16:39,102 --> 00:16:41,043
- Oh, you're messing with me; Okay.
- Little bit.
485
00:16:41,069 --> 00:16:43,204
(both sigh)
486
00:16:43,238 --> 00:16:45,357
Nick, I'm gonna admit it.
487
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,163
I might be your cooler.
I chalk it up to bad timing.
488
00:16:48,194 --> 00:16:49,576
Well, thank you for
admitting that.
489
00:16:49,587 --> 00:16:51,084
But to be fair,
490
00:16:51,115 --> 00:16:53,885
you are your own cooler
70% of the time.
491
00:16:53,907 --> 00:16:56,533
Some basic grooming, Nick,
and you'd be smoking hot.
492
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:59,366
- I'd be smoking hot?
- You'd be smoking hot.
493
00:16:59,396 --> 00:17:00,614
You do want to kiss me, then.
494
00:17:00,639 --> 00:17:02,390
All bets are off
if you take a shower.
495
00:17:02,424 --> 00:17:04,975
(laughs)
That is very nice of you.
496
00:17:12,433 --> 00:17:13,395
(banging on door)
497
00:17:13,419 --> 00:17:15,897
Jess, are you okay?
I got your message!
498
00:17:15,929 --> 00:17:16,862
What's happening?
499
00:17:16,888 --> 00:17:19,073
- Sam, I'm so sorry. Yeah... here,
- I'll help you up. I'll help you up.
500
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:20,948
- It was a false alarm.
- All right.
501
00:17:21,132 --> 00:17:23,232
What are you doing back there?
502
00:17:23,314 --> 00:17:26,579
ALL: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
503
00:17:27,702 --> 00:17:29,515
Okay, let's just do
this already.
504
00:17:29,534 --> 00:17:31,184
- Just kiss me.
- No, I'm not gonna kiss you.
505
00:17:31,209 --> 00:17:32,308
- Kiss me!
- Jess, stop!
506
00:17:32,339 --> 00:17:33,896
God! Miller,
just kiss me already!
507
00:17:33,914 --> 00:17:36,315
No, not like this!
508
00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:38,884
That, that...
509
00:17:38,903 --> 00:17:40,888
- What? What does that mean?
- No, I didn't...
510
00:17:40,905 --> 00:17:43,301
Nothing. I just, I didn't
mean it like that.
511
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,548
I just, we can't
like that because
512
00:17:45,599 --> 00:17:47,801
that's not...
Do you know, like...?
513
00:17:48,041 --> 00:17:49,494
It's very, like, you don't...
514
00:17:49,525 --> 00:17:50,992
That's not what it...
515
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:52,472
(muffled):
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
516
00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:54,507
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
517
00:17:54,525 --> 00:17:56,360
(muffled): Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
518
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:57,959
If you'll excuse me.
519
00:17:57,984 --> 00:17:59,930
Nick, what are you doing?
520
00:18:00,543 --> 00:18:01,660
What are you do...?
521
00:18:01,691 --> 00:18:03,142
- I'm fine.
- Nick!
522
00:18:03,157 --> 00:18:06,376
I just have to move this,
right here-- my back. Aah!
523
00:18:06,396 --> 00:18:08,424
Okay, this makes sense.
524
00:18:08,461 --> 00:18:09,595
What are you doing?!
525
00:18:09,623 --> 00:18:11,424
I just need a little air...
(continues indistinctly)
526
00:18:11,452 --> 00:18:12,784
What are you doing?!
527
00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:15,841
This is what I needed.
This is... Ah-ha-ha!
528
00:18:15,878 --> 00:18:17,505
Nick, you don't have
to kiss me!
529
00:18:17,537 --> 00:18:19,271
GROUP: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
530
00:18:19,296 --> 00:18:21,403
Help! Help me!
531
00:18:21,431 --> 00:18:22,363
(chanting fades)
532
00:18:22,388 --> 00:18:24,139
I made a very bad mistake!
533
00:18:24,177 --> 00:18:25,856
(everyone shouting)
Nick, no! No!
534
00:18:25,881 --> 00:18:26,922
Help me open this window!
Help!
535
00:18:26,941 --> 00:18:28,041
(all clamoring)
Don't jump!
536
00:18:28,059 --> 00:18:29,893
Hold it right there!
(yells)
537
00:18:32,730 --> 00:18:35,448
You scared me half
to death out there.
538
00:18:35,632 --> 00:18:36,965
Are you not getting
enough attention?
539
00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:39,190
I'm fine! I am fine!
540
00:18:39,209 --> 00:18:40,064
You wouldn't let me out.
541
00:18:40,095 --> 00:18:41,848
- I was partly joking!
- Nick, we will talk
542
00:18:41,879 --> 00:18:42,886
about this in the morning.
543
00:18:42,905 --> 00:18:44,489
- Yes, we will.
- But first...
544
00:18:44,908 --> 00:18:47,026
I'm gonna go do stuff
with a girl.
545
00:18:47,077 --> 00:18:48,644
Yeah!
546
00:18:48,662 --> 00:18:50,151
- I'm sorry.
- I'm glad you're okay.
547
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:51,258
I'm fine.
I'm just, I got...
548
00:18:51,281 --> 00:18:54,053
Hey, Nick, if you ever feel the urge
to jump again, you call me.
549
00:18:54,272 --> 00:18:55,605
Thank you.
550
00:18:56,013 --> 00:18:58,723
I am genuinely afraid of her.
551
00:18:59,224 --> 00:19:00,616
I wish you didn't do that.
552
00:19:00,641 --> 00:19:02,375
Close the door.
553
00:19:02,752 --> 00:19:04,105
Thank you.
554
00:19:04,134 --> 00:19:05,723
(both chuckling,
talking quietly)
555
00:19:05,810 --> 00:19:08,840
That was freakin' hilarious!
556
00:19:08,877 --> 00:19:12,063
I mean, Jess, he jumped out on
a ledge instead of kissing you.
557
00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:13,972
- Can you believe that?
- I'm an idiot.
558
00:19:14,010 --> 00:19:16,378
Well, he's missing out.
559
00:19:16,870 --> 00:19:18,404
- You want to go to bed?
- Mm-hmm.
560
00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:19,425
Okay.
561
00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:22,754
(quiet laugh)
562
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,333
(scratching on door)
563
00:19:30,887 --> 00:19:32,354
(scratching)
564
00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:35,892
Nick!
565
00:19:35,952 --> 00:19:37,771
The scratching's back.
566
00:19:37,828 --> 00:19:39,245
All right, all right.
567
00:19:39,296 --> 00:19:40,505
Jess, I'll take care of it.
568
00:19:40,531 --> 00:19:41,548
Relax.
569
00:19:43,207 --> 00:19:44,451
NICK:
There's nobody there.
570
00:19:44,501 --> 00:19:45,835
(gasps, dog barks)
571
00:19:45,869 --> 00:19:47,970
Admiral! Brian!
572
00:19:48,004 --> 00:19:49,735
Admiral Hornbeck!
Brian, down!
573
00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:51,563
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
574
00:19:51,575 --> 00:19:54,447
Sometimes he gets out...
Is that my coat?
575
00:19:54,595 --> 00:19:55,452
What...?
576
00:19:55,478 --> 00:19:57,455
I thought my package
was delivered here.
577
00:19:57,477 --> 00:19:59,011
- It's her coat.
- I was knocking and knocking.
578
00:19:59,075 --> 00:20:00,490
Are you sleeping in it?!
579
00:20:00,517 --> 00:20:01,817
- I think he might have been.
- Why?!
580
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,033
'Cause it's a fantastic coat.
It gives me confidence.
581
00:20:04,053 --> 00:20:05,533
Man, that is a woman's coat.
582
00:20:05,551 --> 00:20:06,997
- What are you doing?
- All right, well, this is not the...
583
00:20:07,028 --> 00:20:08,478
Give her the coat, Nick.
584
00:20:08,523 --> 00:20:09,851
I love this coat.
585
00:20:09,893 --> 00:20:12,227
So much weird crap
happens in this apartment.
586
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:13,837
He's really sorry.
587
00:20:16,311 --> 00:20:17,578
God!
588
00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:19,005
(both chuckle)
589
00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:21,592
Well, I guess
the old Nick is back, huh?
590
00:20:21,671 --> 00:20:23,506
Yeah. I'm gonna miss
Trench Coat Nick.
591
00:20:23,540 --> 00:20:24,507
(both laugh)
592
00:20:24,541 --> 00:20:26,660
- He was pretty great.
- I might miss him.
593
00:20:26,676 --> 00:20:28,344
I liked him.
594
00:20:28,378 --> 00:20:29,745
He had guts.
595
00:20:29,788 --> 00:20:30,988
It was a woman's coat.
596
00:20:31,014 --> 00:20:32,381
(both laugh)
597
00:20:32,521 --> 00:20:34,456
- Good night, Nick.
- Good night.
598
00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:55,638
I meant something like that.
599
00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:12,788
(grunts with effort)
600
00:21:12,831 --> 00:21:14,927
Oh, uh, hey, babe,
601
00:21:15,234 --> 00:21:17,300
do you mind if I, uh,
put this somewhere else?
602
00:21:17,331 --> 00:21:19,432
It's kind of, it's kind
of creeping me out
603
00:21:19,469 --> 00:21:21,572
when I'm trying to go to sleep.
604
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:22,970
Yeah, that's fine.
(clears throat)
605
00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:24,214
- Cool.
- That's fine.
606
00:21:24,261 --> 00:21:25,327
(thudding)
607
00:21:27,210 --> 00:21:28,311
Whew.
608
00:21:34,236 --> 00:21:39,737
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