1
00:00:02,287 --> 00:00:06,143
_
2
00:00:17,709 --> 00:00:19,724
Fantastico.
3
00:00:26,615 --> 00:00:29,134
- Are you checking my pulse?
- You were very still.
4
00:00:32,259 --> 00:00:34,568
Well, that was really fun.
5
00:00:37,232 --> 00:00:40,307
I don't know what to
say here. Um...
6
00:00:40,735 --> 00:00:42,972
- I got an idea. Stay right here, okay?
- Okay.
7
00:00:42,991 --> 00:00:45,666
- Let me do something. Stay right here.
- Okay.
8
00:01:07,091 --> 00:01:09,114
We need some dessert.
9
00:01:12,788 --> 00:01:14,738
That's too much.
10
00:01:15,839 --> 00:01:17,957
Nah, definitely not doing that.
11
00:01:22,259 --> 00:01:23,553
Bob!
12
00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:26,142
You. It's... you.
13
00:01:26,161 --> 00:01:28,617
- Nick.
- Right. Nick. How could I forget that?
14
00:01:28,629 --> 00:01:31,932
Sorry to interrupt you.
Wilson let me in.
15
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:33,987
Well, what are you
doing with that?
16
00:01:34,012 --> 00:01:36,393
That, uh, looks like lady food.
17
00:01:36,503 --> 00:01:37,722
This is for Wilson.
18
00:01:37,752 --> 00:01:39,808
Yeah, Wilson,
here's your grapefruit,
19
00:01:39,829 --> 00:01:42,173
pie and eggs,
just like you like.
20
00:01:42,191 --> 00:01:44,916
- Is it because it's my birthday?
- It's your birthday?
21
00:01:45,177 --> 00:01:47,593
That's why I made it,
'cause it's your birthday.
22
00:01:47,619 --> 00:01:50,004
I know you're lying,
and I'm hurt,
23
00:01:50,420 --> 00:01:53,294
- but I'm gonna eat this anyway.
- See you later, Wilson.
24
00:01:53,741 --> 00:01:55,829
- What are you doing here, Bob?
- The wedding!
25
00:01:55,848 --> 00:01:58,591
I wouldn't miss Cece's
wedding. Where's Jess?
26
00:01:58,635 --> 00:02:01,271
Hey, Nick, what's our la...?
27
00:02:01,284 --> 00:02:02,640
Look who I bumped into--
your dad!
28
00:02:02,654 --> 00:02:04,579
- Dad!
- Your dad is here today, Jess!
29
00:02:05,012 --> 00:02:07,368
♪ Who's that girl?
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
30
00:02:07,380 --> 00:02:08,998
♪ It's Jess.
31
00:02:09,016 --> 00:02:13,016
Sync and corrections by Norther
www.addic7ed.com
32
00:02:17,277 --> 00:02:18,863
Well?
33
00:02:19,195 --> 00:02:20,770
Are the reviews in?
34
00:02:20,782 --> 00:02:23,113
- The reviews for what?
- My new body.
35
00:02:23,146 --> 00:02:24,634
How it moves.
36
00:02:24,652 --> 00:02:26,103
Its pitch, its yaw.
37
00:02:26,115 --> 00:02:28,236
My perfectly sculpted
pubic topiary.
38
00:02:28,254 --> 00:02:30,672
I liked how your body moved
39
00:02:30,738 --> 00:02:32,606
before you knew
what to do with it.
40
00:02:37,771 --> 00:02:39,824
- Want to dance?
- Yeah, right.
41
00:02:39,867 --> 00:02:42,430
Fat kid wants to dance
at the cool college party.
42
00:02:42,461 --> 00:02:44,180
- Nice joke, stranger.
- Come on.
43
00:02:44,204 --> 00:02:47,327
If they make fun of you,
I'll punch them in the penis.
44
00:03:00,641 --> 00:03:03,079
You never cared about
what people thought.
45
00:03:03,103 --> 00:03:06,522
I mean, even last night, with the
window open and the woof howls.
46
00:03:06,543 --> 00:03:08,262
It was very uncomfortable.
47
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:11,983
Stop threatening to move,
Bernie, and just move!
48
00:03:12,001 --> 00:03:14,031
I love that about you.
49
00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:16,922
I'm gonna go to work. Do you
want to have lunch later?
50
00:03:21,226 --> 00:03:23,069
It's still impressive,
51
00:03:23,125 --> 00:03:24,781
but did you
lose weight down...?
52
00:03:24,812 --> 00:03:25,985
It's slightly smaller.
53
00:03:26,021 --> 00:03:27,709
Doctors--
no explanation.
54
00:03:27,722 --> 00:03:28,890
That's not normal.
55
00:03:28,908 --> 00:03:31,883
- Shut up, Bernie!
- Shut up, Bernie!
56
00:03:32,751 --> 00:03:36,187
He can never find out about
this, because he will kill you.
57
00:03:36,205 --> 00:03:38,864
When I was ten, he caught
me kissing Glenn Ely.
58
00:03:38,963 --> 00:03:41,555
He got some guys from the club
to put the fear of God in him.
59
00:03:47,432 --> 00:03:49,210
Help!
60
00:03:49,246 --> 00:03:52,353
- So, let me deal with him.
- Smile!
61
00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:55,650
- I got to get some new flash cubes.
- Dude,
62
00:03:55,676 --> 00:03:57,770
- keep your mouth shut. Okay?
- Great, fantastic.
63
00:03:57,782 --> 00:03:59,213
- Hey, Dad?
- Yeah?
64
00:03:59,225 --> 00:04:02,231
Why don't we take a walk?
Oh, it's Peg.
65
00:04:03,158 --> 00:04:04,714
- Peg.
- Hi, Jess.
66
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:07,389
Guess what? I'm at a new school, and
there's an opening for a new teacher,
67
00:04:07,403 --> 00:04:09,997
and you'd be perfect.
Can you come in today?
68
00:04:10,044 --> 00:04:13,456
Yeah, I would love to. I just--
um, my dad's in town, so...
69
00:04:13,481 --> 00:04:16,253
I'm kind of out on a limb here. I
really talked you up to the principal.
70
00:04:16,277 --> 00:04:18,932
Guess what. Spoiler alert.
He's perking me.
71
00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:22,804
- Can you be here in 30 minutes?
- Okay, I'll figure it out.
72
00:04:22,810 --> 00:04:25,660
Amy! Put those back
in your shirt, both of them.
73
00:04:26,246 --> 00:04:28,717
Oh, my God. I have the
chance to teach kids again.
74
00:04:28,729 --> 00:04:30,406
You got to go.
75
00:04:30,757 --> 00:04:32,826
Oh... Dad, you should
come with me.
76
00:04:32,844 --> 00:04:34,232
Yes, you should go
with your daughter!
77
00:04:34,263 --> 00:04:36,613
What am I gonna do, sit in
your car and get mugged?
78
00:04:36,638 --> 00:04:40,300
I mean, I didn't gay my way out of
Vietnam just to be killed by some punk.
79
00:04:40,318 --> 00:04:41,874
No, no. No, I'll stay with him.
80
00:04:41,886 --> 00:04:43,849
- Oh, no, no, that, uh, that doesn't work.
- That's a bad idea.
81
00:04:43,855 --> 00:04:46,053
That's-- I've-I've got stuff
I got to do, so...
82
00:04:46,071 --> 00:04:47,134
- Stuff?
- Yeah.
83
00:04:47,165 --> 00:04:49,800
You don't have any stuff.
Name one stuff.
84
00:04:50,329 --> 00:04:51,874
Documents.
85
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,647
- Documents?
- Yeah, I got documents.
86
00:04:54,675 --> 00:04:56,026
Okay, I get it.
87
00:04:56,047 --> 00:04:58,299
You know, I'm always alone, so,
88
00:04:58,324 --> 00:04:59,940
I'll just, uh... be alone.
89
00:04:59,952 --> 00:05:01,765
- Do not fall for it.
- I am falling for it.
90
00:05:01,782 --> 00:05:04,225
- Do not fall for it. - I am falling for
it right this second. I'm feeling bad.
91
00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:05,994
- I'll stay!
- That's terrific.
92
00:05:07,587 --> 00:05:08,887
Jess... Jess.
93
00:05:08,898 --> 00:05:11,717
Hi! Yay, tomorrow's
your big day! Hooray!
94
00:05:11,735 --> 00:05:14,106
Listen, I'm gonna be a little bit
later than I thought I would be,
95
00:05:14,118 --> 00:05:16,259
but it's gonna be worth it,
because last night...
96
00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:17,861
Just hang on. I can't hear you.
I can't hear you.
97
00:05:17,873 --> 00:05:20,847
Guys, it's too loud
in here, okay?!
98
00:05:20,874 --> 00:05:22,099
Uncle Shishir!
99
00:05:23,622 --> 00:05:26,078
He had one scene with
Salman Khan in Dabangg 2,
100
00:05:26,102 --> 00:05:28,696
and all of the sudden he thinks he's
Amitabh Bachchan in Jhoom Barabar Jhoom.
101
00:05:28,712 --> 00:05:29,981
I could just tell you later.
102
00:05:30,006 --> 00:05:33,094
I am exhausted, and I still have
to go pick up my wedding sari,
103
00:05:33,121 --> 00:05:34,665
and I still have to
get my hands henna'd.
104
00:05:34,683 --> 00:05:37,045
Okay, look, just send
everybody to their hotels.
105
00:05:37,078 --> 00:05:38,831
I'll have Winston
pick up your sari,
106
00:05:38,849 --> 00:05:42,164
and then after you're done having
your hands tattooed, take a nap.
107
00:05:42,183 --> 00:05:44,334
Now hand the phone to Shishir.
108
00:05:44,781 --> 00:05:46,909
Uncle. Jess.
109
00:05:47,225 --> 00:05:50,562
Shishir, you son of a bitch.
You little son of a bitch.
110
00:05:50,586 --> 00:05:52,372
It is not your day!
111
00:05:54,707 --> 00:05:56,626
- Hey, Winston.
- What's up?
112
00:05:56,641 --> 00:05:58,726
- Anything you want to wish me?
- Look, Winston,
113
00:05:58,751 --> 00:06:02,205
I need you to pick up Cece's wedding
sari and take it to her house.
114
00:06:02,398 --> 00:06:05,198
- You want me to take it to her house?
- Yeah. Just go pick it up.
115
00:06:05,223 --> 00:06:08,937
Ah, wedding sari, for the
celebration of the wedding.
116
00:06:08,961 --> 00:06:11,230
- Yes, nothing else.
- Yeah, I don't know what you're doing,
117
00:06:11,249 --> 00:06:13,914
but just do it, okay?
Um, I have to go.
118
00:06:13,952 --> 00:06:16,021
It's happening!
119
00:06:17,249 --> 00:06:19,408
Peg, hi. Thank you so much
for the interview.
120
00:06:19,433 --> 00:06:21,708
- Sorry I'm late.
- Uh, no interview.
121
00:06:21,726 --> 00:06:23,425
You're getting right in
the soup; you're subbing.
122
00:06:23,437 --> 00:06:25,493
- I need Al to see you in action.
- What? Subbing?
123
00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:28,163
It's a really busy day; I
don't think I could sub...
124
00:06:28,278 --> 00:06:29,567
- Oh, yes you can.
- ...right now.
125
00:06:29,573 --> 00:06:31,204
- What? No.
- This is your chance.
126
00:06:31,252 --> 00:06:32,784
Oh, my...
127
00:06:34,154 --> 00:06:36,733
Ah, stop! You have to stop!
128
00:06:41,383 --> 00:06:42,887
Hey, guys.
129
00:06:42,912 --> 00:06:44,100
All right.
130
00:06:44,131 --> 00:06:45,831
Okay, listen!
131
00:06:47,447 --> 00:06:49,392
Or don't!
132
00:06:49,901 --> 00:06:52,032
But the hell if I'm
not gonna teach!
133
00:06:52,114 --> 00:06:55,066
I'm gonna bring the words
of Mark Twain alive
134
00:06:55,091 --> 00:06:59,124
with only the human voice.
135
00:06:59,254 --> 00:07:00,504
What about you?
You got a girl?
136
00:07:00,527 --> 00:07:02,290
- No. No, no, no, no, no.
- No, really?
137
00:07:02,302 --> 00:07:04,930
- No, no, no, no. No girls for me. No.
- Seriously? A good-looking guy like you?
138
00:07:04,936 --> 00:07:07,323
- It'd seem like women would just
flock to you. - No, no, it's not like that.
139
00:07:07,348 --> 00:07:10,110
- Let's talk about you and girls! I don't want
to talk about this. - ...and a young guy.
140
00:07:10,136 --> 00:07:14,605
- This isn't something we should talk about,
Bob, trust me! - Okay, gee whiz, I'm sorry.
141
00:07:14,903 --> 00:07:18,264
- Just freakin' back off.
- I'm sorry I brought it up.
142
00:07:22,131 --> 00:07:23,919
All right.
143
00:07:24,589 --> 00:07:26,056
What?
144
00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:30,879
What?
145
00:07:32,890 --> 00:07:34,682
- There's a girl. Yes.
- There is, see? I told you.
146
00:07:34,701 --> 00:07:36,482
- I knew-- There's always a girl.
- There-- you're right.
147
00:07:36,495 --> 00:07:38,589
- Come on, what's she like?
- She's, uh, not quirky.
148
00:07:38,607 --> 00:07:41,038
- No?
- She's got no bangs.
149
00:07:41,066 --> 00:07:43,031
- No bangs.
- Uh, tall and fat.
150
00:07:43,049 --> 00:07:44,537
- Really?
- Yeah. Really ugly eyes.
151
00:07:44,549 --> 00:07:46,551
- Small, tiny little beady eyes.
- Yeah. Yeah.
152
00:07:46,568 --> 00:07:49,296
Her name is, uh,
Yolanda Winston.
153
00:07:49,426 --> 00:07:50,943
Yolanda Winston.
154
00:07:54,135 --> 00:07:57,331
Just wallpaper! I have fancy
athletic shoe wallpaper.
155
00:07:57,606 --> 00:07:59,329
Elizabeth, what are you
doing here?
156
00:07:59,341 --> 00:08:01,426
I got here early,
so I wanted to come up.
157
00:08:01,445 --> 00:08:03,382
That shirt is, uh...
158
00:08:03,407 --> 00:08:04,757
12 years old.
159
00:08:04,786 --> 00:08:07,534
- It's the shirt I met you in.
- Oh, yeah, I remember that.
160
00:08:07,552 --> 00:08:08,778
Y2 Kitty Kat.
161
00:08:08,803 --> 00:08:10,526
As relevant today
as it was then.
162
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,495
Schmidt, do you have a moment?
163
00:08:12,544 --> 00:08:15,772
- I have unlimited moments.
- I was reviewing the numbers...
164
00:08:16,367 --> 00:08:19,526
Custodial keeps sending us
these spooky Eastern European girls.
165
00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:21,767
You want to see spooky?
Call me spooky again.
166
00:08:21,779 --> 00:08:23,478
I'll spook the ass fat
right out of your lips.
167
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:24,660
Do you know her?
168
00:08:24,684 --> 00:08:27,028
Mm... no...
169
00:08:27,091 --> 00:08:28,917
- No?
- I...
170
00:08:29,266 --> 00:08:32,101
I feel like I'm trap...
I'm being trapped, am I not?
171
00:08:32,942 --> 00:08:35,252
Then I'll do you a favor
and set you free.
172
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:37,419
Idiot.
173
00:08:37,936 --> 00:08:40,273
Wait, don't leave.
Elizabeth!
174
00:08:40,303 --> 00:08:42,897
- I don't know why I just did that!
- I knew you couldn't change back!
175
00:08:42,916 --> 00:08:45,237
- But why are you wearing that shirt?!
- I'm not gonna let you make me feel
176
00:08:45,257 --> 00:08:47,414
bad about myself!
I love this shirt!
177
00:08:47,438 --> 00:08:49,288
Y2 Kitty Kat?
178
00:08:49,450 --> 00:08:51,063
I don't need this.
179
00:08:51,118 --> 00:08:52,795
I was fine before
you showed up.
180
00:08:52,810 --> 00:08:57,151
In fact, I said no to a date
tonight to be with you!
181
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,624
I'm gonna
text him "Yes."
182
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:01,186
And guess what.
183
00:09:01,198 --> 00:09:02,917
I don't care what you think.
184
00:09:03,054 --> 00:09:04,831
See ya, Schmidt.
185
00:09:05,046 --> 00:09:07,981
Without validation, the
parking rates are absurd.
186
00:09:12,983 --> 00:09:16,321
Jamie, enough with the globes.
We get it. You're angry.
187
00:09:16,608 --> 00:09:19,793
Okay, that's lunch. Be back in an hour.
188
00:09:20,632 --> 00:09:22,632
_
189
00:09:22,658 --> 00:09:23,890
Jess!
190
00:09:23,927 --> 00:09:25,756
- I'm Dr. Foster.
- Oh.
191
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:31,798
Peg has gone on and on and
on and on and on about you.
192
00:09:31,816 --> 00:09:33,941
So nice to meet you. I'm just
running out for lunch...
193
00:09:33,959 --> 00:09:36,537
- Uh! No, no, need. No need.
- During the lunch that I...
194
00:09:36,549 --> 00:09:38,525
But you don't need.
195
00:09:38,550 --> 00:09:40,321
We can have lunch here.
196
00:09:40,340 --> 00:09:43,909
My secretary is bringing food.
197
00:09:44,152 --> 00:09:46,401
So we'll have a
198
00:09:46,431 --> 00:09:49,267
chitchat, tête-à-tête,
199
00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:52,010
exchange-ideas
200
00:09:52,229 --> 00:09:53,566
kind of lunch.
201
00:09:53,578 --> 00:09:56,952
To see how you'll fit in
to the Coolidge culture.
202
00:09:56,974 --> 00:09:59,718
Um, well, long story short,
I really would love this job,
203
00:09:59,730 --> 00:10:01,555
- I love teaching kids...
- Ha!
204
00:10:01,653 --> 00:10:05,447
Now, what if you weren't
referring to children...
205
00:10:05,852 --> 00:10:07,533
Oh. Uh-huh?
206
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:10,457
- ...but to baby goats?
- Huh.
207
00:10:10,489 --> 00:10:12,498
That's an interesting question.
208
00:10:12,516 --> 00:10:13,562
Well,
209
00:10:13,586 --> 00:10:16,216
we used to have a school goat
210
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,739
- named Melvin.
- Uh...
211
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,578
He hanged himself,
212
00:10:19,592 --> 00:10:21,373
tragically, on the swing set.
213
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,620
So...
214
00:10:23,651 --> 00:10:26,079
we bought another goat.
215
00:10:26,191 --> 00:10:29,071
Also named Melvin.
216
00:10:30,602 --> 00:10:32,155
Surprise!
217
00:10:34,910 --> 00:10:36,885
Yeah, you can come out now!
218
00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:40,085
I see some-some food over here.
Where my cake at?
219
00:10:40,527 --> 00:10:42,323
Hey, where my cake at?!
220
00:10:42,362 --> 00:10:45,291
I can hear you giggling,
I can see the...
221
00:10:45,375 --> 00:10:47,825
- Where's my sari?
- Something on your face. What's that,
222
00:10:47,850 --> 00:10:51,045
- like, a wedding tattoo? - What do you
mean there's something on my face?
223
00:10:56,142 --> 00:10:58,816
Wait-wait a minute. Hold-hold on,
hold on. What are you doing?
224
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:01,274
Lettuce, tomato, lettuce,
225
00:11:01,292 --> 00:11:03,738
meat-meat-meat-meat-meat-
meat-meat-meat-meat,
226
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:06,239
- cheese, lettuce.
- You're a sandwich genius.
227
00:11:06,330 --> 00:11:08,811
Is there anything you don't
know everything about?
228
00:11:08,823 --> 00:11:09,930
Try me.
229
00:11:09,955 --> 00:11:12,933
All right, I will try you.
I've got a question about
230
00:11:13,003 --> 00:11:14,334
- Yolanda Winston.
- Sure.
231
00:11:14,346 --> 00:11:16,708
Well, we've only slept
together once, but,
232
00:11:16,729 --> 00:11:18,253
Bob, I don't know
what she wants.
233
00:11:18,284 --> 00:11:21,606
Well, the first thing you got to
figure out is what do you want.
234
00:11:22,005 --> 00:11:24,895
Well, I don't know how you get a
podcast, but you should look into it.
235
00:11:26,667 --> 00:11:27,467
Bob here.
236
00:11:27,496 --> 00:11:29,677
Hey, Dad, new plan.
Headed over to Cece's.
237
00:11:29,702 --> 00:11:32,368
- How's it going over there?
- Great. We're making sandwiches,
238
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:33,793
we're talking about girls.
239
00:11:33,812 --> 00:11:35,769
Interesting. Could you hand
the phone to Nick?
240
00:11:35,788 --> 00:11:38,319
- Jess. Yeah, she wants to talk to you.
- Oh, cool. Jess!
241
00:11:38,337 --> 00:11:41,148
- What is going on over there, Nick?!
- Hanging out with my boy Bobby D.
242
00:11:41,176 --> 00:11:43,858
- Bobby D! I love that!
- Talking about girls?!
243
00:11:43,883 --> 00:11:45,907
That's the one thing you
should not be talking about!
244
00:11:45,917 --> 00:11:48,384
- You are freaking out about noth...
- Hey, you know what?
245
00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:50,816
I don't like what's happening here.
I am coming home.
246
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:54,557
Just relax.
I think he really likes me.
247
00:11:54,582 --> 00:11:56,737
Oh, it's Cece.
I have to take this.
248
00:11:56,768 --> 00:11:57,827
Cece, hi.
249
00:11:59,167 --> 00:12:02,698
- What's going on?
- I fell asleep on my hand!
250
00:12:06,779 --> 00:12:07,992
Oh!
251
00:12:08,017 --> 00:12:10,411
It's not as bad as I thought.
252
00:12:11,589 --> 00:12:13,640
I'm getting married tomorrow,
and I look like Mike Tyson!
253
00:12:13,659 --> 00:12:16,381
Okay, nothing a little cotton
balls and olive oil can't fix.
254
00:12:16,393 --> 00:12:20,133
In a few minutes, we are gonna
laugh about this. We will laugh.
255
00:12:20,177 --> 00:12:21,376
Okay.
256
00:12:22,569 --> 00:12:25,070
- This is funny later.
- Okay.
257
00:12:25,123 --> 00:12:26,429
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, see?
258
00:12:26,457 --> 00:12:27,674
It's coming right off.
259
00:12:34,357 --> 00:12:35,307
Um...
260
00:12:39,481 --> 00:12:41,476
All gone?
261
00:12:44,129 --> 00:12:46,330
Burkas isn't you guys, is it?
262
00:12:48,095 --> 00:12:51,013
This girl really means
a lot to me, Bob.
263
00:12:51,109 --> 00:12:53,847
- And I just don't want to screw it up.
- Why would you screw it up?
264
00:12:53,866 --> 00:12:55,228
I don't want to make excuses,
265
00:12:55,246 --> 00:12:57,217
but my dad was kind of a...
266
00:12:57,242 --> 00:12:59,242
a piece of...
267
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:02,579
You know, truth be told, Bob,
I'm afraid I'm a lot like him.
268
00:13:02,598 --> 00:13:05,046
The mere fact that
you just said that
269
00:13:05,072 --> 00:13:07,253
means that you're nothing
like your old man.
270
00:13:07,689 --> 00:13:10,351
Any girl would be lucky
271
00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,105
- to have a guy like you.
- You mean that?
272
00:13:12,111 --> 00:13:13,617
Yes, I do.
273
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:18,500
Think I'm gonna say something
that might make you real happy.
274
00:13:19,192 --> 00:13:21,393
That little girl I was
talking about,
275
00:13:21,418 --> 00:13:22,977
Yolanda?
276
00:13:23,622 --> 00:13:25,913
Her name isn't Yolanda.
277
00:13:26,730 --> 00:13:28,299
It's Jess.
278
00:13:28,429 --> 00:13:30,354
She's your daughter.
279
00:13:31,261 --> 00:13:32,911
I'll kill you!
280
00:13:32,948 --> 00:13:35,041
You're dead! You're dead!
281
00:13:37,286 --> 00:13:40,641
Hi, you-you tattooed my friend
this morning for her wedding.
282
00:13:40,672 --> 00:13:42,779
Is there a quick way
of getting it off?
283
00:13:42,857 --> 00:13:44,938
Uh-huh. Okay!
284
00:13:46,142 --> 00:13:48,060
Um, wonderful. Thank
you so much, Dipti.
285
00:13:48,079 --> 00:13:49,812
That's awesome. Thanks.
286
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,471
- It's not coming off.
- Nope, it's not.
287
00:13:51,496 --> 00:13:52,883
Absolutely not.
288
00:13:52,911 --> 00:13:54,530
Okay, look, um, Cece,
289
00:13:54,554 --> 00:13:56,294
I think maybe you
should call Shivrang.
290
00:13:56,450 --> 00:13:58,860
I don't want him to
see me like this, Jess!
291
00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,315
- Like, what have you done?!
- What I've done?
292
00:14:00,335 --> 00:14:01,982
You're the dummy who fell
asleep on your hands!
293
00:14:02,013 --> 00:14:04,504
I'm so sorry. That shouldn't
have come out of my mouth.
294
00:14:04,523 --> 00:14:08,017
That was really uncool. I've just
had a crazy 24 hours, and...
295
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,119
I slept with Nick last night.
296
00:14:10,144 --> 00:14:11,683
- You slept with Nick?
- I don't know.
297
00:14:11,696 --> 00:14:13,727
I think it might be the start of
something, like, really amazing.
298
00:14:13,739 --> 00:14:15,871
- Mm-hmm, sure. - I don't want to get my
hopes up, but it could be something.
299
00:14:15,892 --> 00:14:17,065
- Could not be something.
- Makes sense.
300
00:14:17,084 --> 00:14:19,340
- I don't know.
- I have a full beard!
301
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,747
No.
302
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,752
Oh, no, no.
303
00:14:22,784 --> 00:14:25,129
- I'm not scared of you, dude.
- What are you doing with that?
304
00:14:25,153 --> 00:14:27,717
Put that down;
I'm not gonna hurt you.
305
00:14:37,829 --> 00:14:38,836
Okay.
306
00:14:38,848 --> 00:14:40,344
Okay, conversation's over.
307
00:14:40,363 --> 00:14:42,774
Nick, hands up, back away.
What is this?
308
00:14:42,792 --> 00:14:45,142
- Dad, you're coming with me now.
- You want to get rid of me?
309
00:14:45,161 --> 00:14:47,647
- So you two can do it again?
- What?!
310
00:14:47,976 --> 00:14:50,907
You told him?! God, I knew
you would blurt it out.
311
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,977
Shows how much you know;
I didn't blurt it out.
312
00:14:53,001 --> 00:14:55,400
- I told him on purpose.
- Why would you do that?!
313
00:14:55,406 --> 00:14:57,669
- What is wrong with you?!
- I wanted him to like me--
314
00:14:57,688 --> 00:15:00,112
in fact, I want all
fathers to like me.
315
00:15:00,131 --> 00:15:01,473
I wonder what that's about.
316
00:15:01,498 --> 00:15:03,122
W-What, do you owe
money on the rent?
317
00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:05,971
- I mean, what-what is going on here?
- Dad, I don't know what's going on.
318
00:15:05,977 --> 00:15:07,871
We haven't had a chance
to talk it out yet.
319
00:15:07,889 --> 00:15:09,327
- Well, when did this happen?
- Last night.
320
00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:10,633
- Nick!
- Why am I telling you this?
321
00:15:10,658 --> 00:15:14,380
Jess, why are you picking him?
He's a lazy, drunken cable thief.
322
00:15:14,399 --> 00:15:17,068
- Wh-What's wrong with Wilson?
- Dad, there's nothing wrong with Nick.
323
00:15:17,074 --> 00:15:19,562
- You don't even know him.
- I do know him.
324
00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:21,057
I know him.
325
00:15:21,127 --> 00:15:24,202
When I was young,
I was confused, I was lost,
326
00:15:24,220 --> 00:15:25,377
I had no plan.
327
00:15:25,408 --> 00:15:27,888
But I went ahead
and got married anyway.
328
00:15:27,934 --> 00:15:30,097
And if I had figured things out
before I got married,
329
00:15:30,115 --> 00:15:32,241
I might still be
with your mother.
330
00:15:32,410 --> 00:15:34,178
So I do know you.
331
00:15:34,686 --> 00:15:36,342
You're not your father.
332
00:15:36,428 --> 00:15:37,896
You're me.
333
00:15:39,449 --> 00:15:42,558
And I'm not good enough
for my little girl.
334
00:15:44,405 --> 00:15:46,206
Yeah I got my own damn cake,
335
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,099
and you can't have none!
336
00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:53,379
- I got to... No, I really...
- Nick, wait, Nick...
337
00:15:53,721 --> 00:15:55,159
Damn it, Dad!
338
00:15:55,185 --> 00:15:56,957
You know I'm right.
339
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,032
Oh, I have to go.
340
00:16:02,049 --> 00:16:04,168
I have to go back to school now.
341
00:16:09,592 --> 00:16:13,262
You sure you want to be eating so
much cake with a body like that?
342
00:16:22,516 --> 00:16:24,083
Guys?
343
00:16:24,482 --> 00:16:26,232
Guys?
344
00:16:29,549 --> 00:16:31,180
I've had a bad day!
345
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,512
Sit down!
346
00:16:33,532 --> 00:16:35,463
All of you!
347
00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:38,422
What is with everyone today?
348
00:16:38,442 --> 00:16:41,235
Everything started so good.
349
00:16:42,071 --> 00:16:43,634
Boy.
350
00:16:43,926 --> 00:16:45,126
My roommate.
351
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,422
It was good, I'm not gonna lie.
352
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,520
It was very good.
353
00:16:49,538 --> 00:16:52,282
But I can't date my dad.
354
00:16:56,323 --> 00:16:57,961
Look...
355
00:16:58,792 --> 00:17:00,309
life's messy.
356
00:17:00,332 --> 00:17:01,400
It
357
00:17:01,425 --> 00:17:03,275
kicks you in the ass.
358
00:17:03,301 --> 00:17:06,094
That's right, I said "ass."
359
00:17:06,633 --> 00:17:08,377
But it does,
it kicks you in the ass.
360
00:17:08,408 --> 00:17:10,402
And, um...
361
00:17:11,014 --> 00:17:13,946
the messy parts are the...
362
00:17:14,624 --> 00:17:16,585
best parts.
363
00:17:24,028 --> 00:17:25,653
Thank you, Miguel.
364
00:17:25,718 --> 00:17:28,239
The gesture is very sweet.
365
00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:31,032
- These are very bad for you.
- I've got a car.
366
00:17:31,054 --> 00:17:32,774
I could take you to the movies.
367
00:17:33,462 --> 00:17:35,695
No, you don't...
You do?
368
00:17:40,066 --> 00:17:41,531
Jess called you?
369
00:17:41,570 --> 00:17:43,332
Yeah, she said you needed me.
370
00:17:43,516 --> 00:17:47,025
She also told me to watch out for the
girl who looked like Mandy Patinkin
371
00:17:47,057 --> 00:17:49,083
We can't get married like this.
372
00:17:49,095 --> 00:17:51,669
Hey, look, if this is
our biggest problem,
373
00:17:51,834 --> 00:17:53,203
I'll take it.
374
00:17:53,234 --> 00:17:54,828
I'll make a call and fix it.
375
00:18:02,106 --> 00:18:05,181
Now that your mom's dead, do you
do all the landlording yourself?
376
00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:10,738
Uh-huh.
377
00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:17,649
You want to dance?
378
00:18:19,038 --> 00:18:21,456
I'm wearing the shirt
that you got me.
379
00:18:23,333 --> 00:18:25,814
Did you think I threw it away?
380
00:18:28,779 --> 00:18:30,423
Frogetaboutit.
381
00:18:30,599 --> 00:18:33,548
- Go home, Schmidt.
- I don't want to go home, Elizabeth.
382
00:18:33,898 --> 00:18:35,642
Look, I want to be with you.
383
00:18:35,805 --> 00:18:38,264
Anl-I don't care who knows it.
384
00:18:40,963 --> 00:18:42,526
Hey, Geppetto.
385
00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:44,421
Make with the "oom pah pah."
386
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:17,782
We have a pump that can blow
that thing up in, like,
387
00:19:18,163 --> 00:19:19,001
two seconds.
388
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:22,301
I prefer to do this
the old-fashioned way.
389
00:19:22,541 --> 00:19:26,062
I know that's not the way things
are done around here.
390
00:19:26,243 --> 00:19:28,169
So long as I'm in town,
391
00:19:28,205 --> 00:19:31,604
I am going to sleep
between you and him.
392
00:19:31,623 --> 00:19:34,108
Dad, you don't have
to worry about me.
393
00:19:34,126 --> 00:19:36,012
I know you think
this is gonna be a mess,
394
00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:38,034
but it's my mess.
395
00:19:38,118 --> 00:19:39,788
Jess,
396
00:19:39,931 --> 00:19:41,769
I'm your father
397
00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:44,774
I'll always worry about you.
398
00:19:56,155 --> 00:19:58,443
_
399
00:20:01,657 --> 00:20:05,143
♪ What do you say
400
00:20:05,221 --> 00:20:08,890
♪ Is this the time
401
00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:12,319
♪ For one more try
402
00:20:12,888 --> 00:20:15,723
♪ At a happy life...
403
00:20:17,580 --> 00:20:20,788
This was the breakfast I was
gonna give you this morning.
404
00:20:20,859 --> 00:20:24,214
♪ Is this unwise
405
00:20:24,820 --> 00:20:27,233
♪ To think my fears...
406
00:20:27,305 --> 00:20:29,361
Hey, um...
407
00:20:30,376 --> 00:20:33,014
I hope my dad didn't
get in your head.
408
00:20:33,202 --> 00:20:33,943
No.
409
00:20:33,967 --> 00:20:35,413
Uh, no, uh...
410
00:20:35,432 --> 00:20:38,580
Oh, look who took
the romance spot.
411
00:20:38,773 --> 00:20:42,791
We were just gonna match up constellations
with the mole patterns on my back.
412
00:20:43,004 --> 00:20:45,533
Then we're gonna get drunk and
try to find people doing it.
413
00:20:45,552 --> 00:20:47,747
- Yeah.
- First come, first serve. Scram.
414
00:20:47,765 --> 00:20:50,066
Oh, is that how it is now?
415
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:51,792
You just own the roof?
416
00:20:51,811 --> 00:20:53,754
Hey, what's everybody do...?
417
00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:56,557
You guys remembered?
418
00:20:56,581 --> 00:20:59,951
Oh, my good... This whole
time, I thought you guys forgot.
419
00:20:59,965 --> 00:21:02,039
Is that a golden telescope?
420
00:21:02,384 --> 00:21:06,037
You know how much I love
to explore space and time, man!
421
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,125
- Thank you! - Happy birthday!
- I love you.
422
00:21:08,150 --> 00:21:10,775
- Happy birthday.
- Hey, happy birthday!
423
00:21:10,794 --> 00:21:13,010
It's the birthday boy.
424
00:21:13,138 --> 00:21:14,613
Come here, I'm gonna
set it up for you.
425
00:21:14,631 --> 00:21:17,069
- Why can't I have the telescope?
- But it's my telescope.
426
00:21:17,091 --> 00:21:20,009
Thought it was for me.
427
00:21:27,483 --> 00:21:29,271
- Get in, get into it, man.
- Yay, the birthday boy!
428
00:21:29,296 --> 00:21:32,821
- Get into it. - Get in there, birthday boy!
- Happy birthday, Winston.
429
00:21:36,725 --> 00:21:41,725
Sync and corrections by Norther
www.addic7ed.com