1 00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:02,860 Hey, guys! Hurry up! 2 00:00:02,879 --> 00:00:04,575 I'm the maid of honor and I have to be there early 3 00:00:04,594 --> 00:00:06,371 and I wanna get a picture in before we go. 4 00:00:06,388 --> 00:00:09,932 Miami Vice called and I'm not sure... I don't know how to finish that joke. 5 00:00:09,950 --> 00:00:11,863 - What? - Ah, it's a crap joke, scratch it. 6 00:00:11,899 --> 00:00:14,105 Winston, please. Your belly is on my hip. 7 00:00:14,124 --> 00:00:16,474 - Dad, can you come and take our picture? - All right. 8 00:00:16,491 --> 00:00:20,152 Having a little trouble getting off this air mattress. 9 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,043 Oh, here we go. 10 00:00:22,096 --> 00:00:24,102 And we... okay. I'm off, I'm off. 11 00:00:24,122 --> 00:00:26,116 Here... where is it? All right, give me this. 12 00:00:26,146 --> 00:00:27,386 Let's do this. 13 00:00:27,415 --> 00:00:28,953 Okay, you ready? 14 00:00:28,959 --> 00:00:31,128 Scrunch together. There we go. 15 00:00:31,147 --> 00:00:32,722 No... 16 00:00:32,796 --> 00:00:35,315 - uh, Rick, move one step to your right. - Me? 17 00:00:35,321 --> 00:00:37,453 Yes, one step to your right. 18 00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:39,122 One more step to your right. 19 00:00:39,134 --> 00:00:41,610 - I can't go much further. - One more step to your right. 20 00:00:41,629 --> 00:00:43,627 Until you get into the hallway, 21 00:00:43,639 --> 00:00:46,560 - and then, once you get in the hallway... - No, I see what you're doing, dude. - Dad, 22 00:00:46,573 --> 00:00:49,586 - Very funny, buddy. - dad, we have to go... - ...go directly to the Chinatown trash can 23 00:00:49,604 --> 00:00:52,144 - where you got that suit. - There's nothing wrong with this suit. - Dad, we need to take the picture. 24 00:00:52,163 --> 00:00:53,602 I wore this at my high school graduation. 25 00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:56,964 - Nick, you're not doing yourself any favors. - I look very handsome. I look like I'm on Miami Vice. 26 00:00:56,982 --> 00:00:58,595 - Should I take the picture? - No, I'm not doing this. 27 00:00:58,613 --> 00:01:01,259 - He's getting on me about the suit. - You're ruining the picture. - Okay. 28 00:01:01,284 --> 00:01:02,684 I'm not doing it. I'm out of here. 29 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:05,509 - Stop. Where are you going? - Was gonna do my cool poses. 30 00:01:05,540 --> 00:01:08,046 You ready? One, two... 31 00:01:08,482 --> 00:01:11,202 d Who's that girl? d Who's that girl? d 32 00:01:11,220 --> 00:01:13,588 d Who's that girl? d Who's that girl? d 33 00:01:13,594 --> 00:01:14,826 d It's Jess. 34 00:01:14,851 --> 00:01:18,351 2x25 Elaine's Big Day 35 00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:20,870 - You changed. - Check it out. 36 00:01:20,888 --> 00:01:22,344 Schmidt gave me his worst suit. 37 00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:25,278 He said, if I could get it over my thighs, he didn't want it. 38 00:01:25,284 --> 00:01:28,284 Miami Vice called, and this time, I answered. 39 00:01:28,302 --> 00:01:30,457 - Yeah? - Yeah! 40 00:01:30,940 --> 00:01:33,684 I hope you're not doing all this 'cause of what my dad said. 41 00:01:33,702 --> 00:01:36,504 I don't think you're an unemployable alcoholic bummer. 42 00:01:36,523 --> 00:01:38,352 - What? - No, I don't think you're a child. 43 00:01:38,370 --> 00:01:41,397 - Whoa, when did he say that? - Hmm? 44 00:01:41,804 --> 00:01:43,111 - What? - Bob said that about me? 45 00:01:43,124 --> 00:01:44,523 Anyway, the point is... 46 00:01:44,542 --> 00:01:46,660 I don't think you're any of those things. 47 00:01:46,784 --> 00:01:48,966 We're at a wedding together. 48 00:01:49,014 --> 00:01:50,658 It's nice, right? You look great. 49 00:01:50,688 --> 00:01:52,453 Thanks. So do you. 50 00:01:52,502 --> 00:01:54,808 - I'm gonna go find Cece. - Yeah. 51 00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:58,328 All right, I guess we're doing that. 52 00:02:00,459 --> 00:02:03,790 There are so many fun, cool traditions at this thing. 53 00:02:03,808 --> 00:02:05,799 The groom comes in on a white horse. 54 00:02:05,812 --> 00:02:09,161 So, basically, they're just copying my Bar Mitzvah. 55 00:02:09,861 --> 00:02:11,255 Oh, my goodness. 56 00:02:11,517 --> 00:02:14,267 That is Bucky the Badger, Wisconsin's mascot. 57 00:02:14,304 --> 00:02:16,137 Yeah, I got a sweatshirt with his face on it, 58 00:02:16,172 --> 00:02:18,290 and he's wearing a sweatshirt with his face on it. 59 00:02:18,447 --> 00:02:20,902 Bucky cool. Bucky! 60 00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:22,660 He's got a super weird thing with badgers. 61 00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:24,347 Is that a real badger? 62 00:02:24,532 --> 00:02:27,308 Hey, the ceremony lasts for three hours, 63 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:30,385 so you better go pee now. You know, your weak bladder. 64 00:02:30,398 --> 00:02:32,154 - You remembered. - Of course I did. 65 00:02:32,172 --> 00:02:34,979 Now I have to pee. Every time you say "pee," I have to pee. 66 00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:37,977 Thank you for coming. 67 00:02:40,471 --> 00:02:43,001 - Go pee. Okay. - I'm gonna. 68 00:02:43,123 --> 00:02:45,000 It's okay to be nervous. 69 00:02:45,046 --> 00:02:46,608 But nothing can go wrong. 70 00:02:46,627 --> 00:02:49,794 All you have to do is go out there, 71 00:02:50,097 --> 00:02:54,002 get married, and I will do the rest, okay? 72 00:02:54,494 --> 00:02:56,578 Schmidt! 73 00:03:01,676 --> 00:03:03,191 Get out. 74 00:03:03,337 --> 00:03:04,963 Well, this certainly isn't the bathroom. 75 00:03:04,991 --> 00:03:07,176 Get out. Get out. 76 00:03:11,597 --> 00:03:14,315 Guys, guys, shut up and listen to me-- it's Cece. 77 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,348 - She doesn't want to get married. - Damn. - What happened? 78 00:03:16,373 --> 00:03:18,278 Well, her exact words were: "I don't want to marry Shivrang, 79 00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:21,490 "but my whole family has flown out here from all the way across the world. 80 00:03:21,508 --> 00:03:25,505 I can't back out now. Please, Schmidt, as my closest friend, help me." 81 00:03:25,530 --> 00:03:27,281 - What did Jess say? - Well, Jess didn't hear it-- 82 00:03:27,287 --> 00:03:28,511 Cece told me with her eyes. 83 00:03:28,524 --> 00:03:31,193 - Oh, so nothing happened. - Cool, so she's marrying Shivrang. - No, guys, I know Cece-- 84 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,411 - I know her looks. - Schmidt, what were you doing back there? 85 00:03:33,429 --> 00:03:34,698 Cece's backing out of the wedding. 86 00:03:34,716 --> 00:03:36,154 - What? - It's true. She told me. 87 00:03:36,179 --> 00:03:38,023 - With her eyes. - Oh, my God. 88 00:03:38,029 --> 00:03:40,220 I thought you were talking about something real. Schmidt. 89 00:03:40,237 --> 00:03:41,883 The wedding's happening-- let her go. 90 00:03:41,908 --> 00:03:44,955 I have let her go. I'm with Elizabeth now and she's amazing. 91 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:48,136 Look, Jess, I'm telling you this as Cece's friend and nothing more. 92 00:03:48,149 --> 00:03:49,880 Cece loves Shivrang-- I know that 93 00:03:49,905 --> 00:03:51,510 'cause I know her better than you do. 94 00:03:51,528 --> 00:03:53,986 False. When you've had sexual congress with someone 95 00:03:53,991 --> 00:03:56,936 and you've peered into their soul at the exact moment of fulfillment... 96 00:03:56,949 --> 00:03:58,480 - Ew. - No, no, hear him out. 97 00:03:58,510 --> 00:04:00,630 Schmidt, listen up and listen good. 98 00:04:00,667 --> 00:04:03,286 You are not to talk to Cece, you are not to look at Cece, 99 00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:06,439 and you are not to have eye conversations with her. 100 00:04:06,450 --> 00:04:08,480 Or I will bust you. 101 00:04:08,557 --> 00:04:10,224 Hard. 102 00:04:10,254 --> 00:04:12,470 - And later, I'm gonna bust you hard. - Yeah, you are. 103 00:04:12,606 --> 00:04:15,801 Good night, nurse. I've been naughty. 104 00:04:16,010 --> 00:04:17,479 Sorry, I didn't know-- you guys were supposed... 105 00:04:17,497 --> 00:04:18,791 not supposed to hear that, so... 106 00:04:18,816 --> 00:04:21,191 Bros ever before the ho. 107 00:04:21,216 --> 00:04:22,985 - Anybody have a jar? - I'm sorry, okay? 108 00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:25,462 But we have to sabotage this wedding. 109 00:04:25,479 --> 00:04:27,098 - Winston? - No, guys, look, 110 00:04:27,110 --> 00:04:29,741 you always bring me into these situations, and 111 00:04:29,773 --> 00:04:33,680 I get in over my head because I love pranks. 112 00:04:33,875 --> 00:04:35,494 I really do. I mean, you know that. 113 00:04:35,506 --> 00:04:38,994 - Yeah. - But look, it's time for me to just face the facts 114 00:04:39,023 --> 00:04:41,198 that I'm no good at them. 115 00:04:41,271 --> 00:04:44,863 You know, I'm 31 now, and it's time for me to cut the nonsense. 116 00:04:44,913 --> 00:04:47,390 You're 100% right, man, but just, I don't know... 117 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,816 what about today, just today... 118 00:04:50,032 --> 00:04:52,252 you give me full-on crazy? 119 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,278 - Yeah! - You listen here! 120 00:04:54,316 --> 00:04:56,847 - Hey, hey, hey. Nobody's doing anything! - Yeah! - What? 121 00:04:56,878 --> 00:04:59,209 - What? - Jess asked us not to, 122 00:04:59,229 --> 00:05:03,040 so we are going to enjoy Cece's wedding like adults. 123 00:05:03,077 --> 00:05:05,556 So good night, nurse. 124 00:05:05,668 --> 00:05:07,569 Sorry for saying that. 125 00:05:07,685 --> 00:05:08,773 I am all... 126 00:05:08,804 --> 00:05:10,912 I'm all turned around. 127 00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:13,749 - We sabotaging this thing or what? - Absolutely. 128 00:05:19,064 --> 00:05:21,065 Hello, Auntie. 129 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,706 This is embarrassing. 130 00:05:26,755 --> 00:05:28,756 I'll be right back. 131 00:05:31,252 --> 00:05:32,915 Excuse me, Elizabeth. Can I talk business? 132 00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:34,499 - Yeah. - Thank you. 133 00:05:34,518 --> 00:05:36,534 - I want you to call it off. - What? 134 00:05:36,558 --> 00:05:39,601 Whatever you're planning on doing, don't do it. 135 00:05:39,626 --> 00:05:42,539 - This wedding means a lot to Jess. - What are you doing? 136 00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:44,312 What has happened to you? 137 00:05:44,330 --> 00:05:46,454 - You changed your suit, you're carrying her purse. - Yeah, I am. 138 00:05:46,478 --> 00:05:47,945 You're wearing deodorant 139 00:05:47,977 --> 00:05:49,507 - under both arms... - Both arms, yeah. 140 00:05:49,522 --> 00:05:53,585 Why are you trying so hard, man? Either Jess wants the real you or... 141 00:05:53,709 --> 00:05:55,535 or she don't. 142 00:05:55,608 --> 00:05:57,676 The real Nick would help me sabo this wedding. 143 00:05:57,729 --> 00:06:00,317 Is "sabo" short for sabotage, Schmidt? 144 00:06:00,354 --> 00:06:01,604 Why would you...? 145 00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,743 - I mean, why would you even say that? - I knew it was. I was being mean. 146 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,603 - I was bullying you to get dominance in this moment. - You know it... of course you know... you know it is. 147 00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:07,901 - I want you to call it off. - You know it's... 148 00:06:07,921 --> 00:06:12,241 - You know "sabo" is short for sabot... sabotage. - I know... I know... Hey, skin it and call it off. 149 00:06:12,264 --> 00:06:14,417 - You got it, man. - Thanks, man. 150 00:06:14,454 --> 00:06:16,927 - I'll call it off. No problem, Nicholas. - Thank you, buddy. I appreciate that. 151 00:06:16,958 --> 00:06:18,133 - Thank you. - Now. 152 00:06:18,171 --> 00:06:19,788 Now? 153 00:06:24,609 --> 00:06:26,057 Shivrang, hold on! 154 00:06:26,075 --> 00:06:27,760 Ow, my testicles! 155 00:06:27,781 --> 00:06:29,600 Don't get on the highway! 156 00:06:29,631 --> 00:06:32,769 Just reared up and just took off... 157 00:06:32,877 --> 00:06:36,187 I'm scared that it might have damaged me. - MAN: No, no, no, no damage. 158 00:06:36,218 --> 00:06:39,403 Are you enjoying the wedding festivities, Schmidt? 159 00:06:39,857 --> 00:06:42,710 What a spunky horse. 160 00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:46,325 I know you're responsible for the horse thing. 161 00:06:46,344 --> 00:06:48,031 - Was I? - Yes. 162 00:06:48,093 --> 00:06:49,515 - Was I? - Yes. 163 00:06:49,555 --> 00:06:51,706 - Was...? - Yes. 164 00:06:56,748 --> 00:06:58,732 - Was...? - Yes. 165 00:06:58,857 --> 00:07:00,891 - Was I? - Yes. 166 00:07:02,170 --> 00:07:03,671 Was I? 167 00:07:03,749 --> 00:07:04,916 Schmidt. 168 00:07:15,559 --> 00:07:17,629 : d If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe d 169 00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,559 d I'd been married a long time ago d 170 00:07:19,578 --> 00:07:21,348 d Where did you come from, where did you go? d 171 00:07:21,366 --> 00:07:23,771 d Where did you come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe? d 172 00:07:25,802 --> 00:07:27,515 d If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe... d 173 00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,510 It's okay. Who are you working with? 174 00:07:29,539 --> 00:07:31,255 d Where did you come from? d Where did you go? 175 00:07:31,286 --> 00:07:32,331 d Where did you come from... 176 00:07:32,356 --> 00:07:34,586 Cotton-Eyed... 177 00:07:34,992 --> 00:07:36,499 Joe. 178 00:07:36,805 --> 00:07:38,955 d Where did you come from, where did you go? d 179 00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,811 Winston, no! Don't do this. 180 00:07:40,817 --> 00:07:42,550 What's done is done, Nicholas. 181 00:07:44,181 --> 00:07:46,243 - Turn it off! - I couldn't stop it even if I wanted to. 182 00:07:46,268 --> 00:07:47,632 Turn it off! 183 00:07:47,794 --> 00:07:49,779 - Nick! - Pranks! 184 00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:51,355 - Wrong way! - What... What did you... 185 00:07:51,379 --> 00:07:52,649 Of course! 186 00:07:52,674 --> 00:07:55,163 Of course you were scheming with Schmidt. 187 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,688 Jess, I didn't do anything. 188 00:07:56,725 --> 00:07:59,050 You think that Schmidt and Winston would be smart enough 189 00:07:59,075 --> 00:08:00,725 to duct-tape the sound board? 190 00:08:00,738 --> 00:08:02,194 That's brilliant! 191 00:08:02,219 --> 00:08:05,124 Plus, we both know that this is your CD. 192 00:08:05,346 --> 00:08:07,137 d Where did you come from, where did you go? d 193 00:08:07,175 --> 00:08:08,770 d Where did you come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe? d 194 00:08:08,795 --> 00:08:10,976 Why did you need me for this? 195 00:08:11,255 --> 00:08:13,239 Nick? 196 00:08:14,159 --> 00:08:15,922 Winston must have taken that out of my car. 197 00:08:15,952 --> 00:08:18,292 How gullible do you think I am? You're fist-pumping right now. 198 00:08:18,311 --> 00:08:20,623 - No, I'm not fist-pumping. - Yes, you are. 199 00:08:20,665 --> 00:08:22,237 Aah! 200 00:08:22,471 --> 00:08:25,535 - It's so freaking catchy. - I thought I could count on you. 201 00:08:25,554 --> 00:08:28,623 - I thought things would be different now. - How could you think I would do this 202 00:08:28,647 --> 00:08:30,828 - at your best friend's wedding? - Because it's exactly 203 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,641 the type of thing that you do. 204 00:08:32,665 --> 00:08:36,588 - A stupid, childish prank. - Oh, childish? 205 00:08:38,219 --> 00:08:39,689 You're right. 206 00:08:39,714 --> 00:08:41,365 I'm a child. 207 00:08:43,494 --> 00:08:45,674 - Great sabo, man! - I'm so good at pranks, man. 208 00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:48,046 - I feel alive. - Really good... 209 00:08:48,622 --> 00:08:49,653 Phase three. 210 00:08:49,665 --> 00:08:52,666 What's phase three? Whatever it is, I'm in. 211 00:08:52,697 --> 00:08:55,570 Let's do this. 212 00:09:10,292 --> 00:09:12,096 - Uh, hey, Jess? - Hmm? 213 00:09:12,146 --> 00:09:13,890 - We went too far. - What? 214 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:15,922 - It's bad. - How bad? 215 00:09:16,065 --> 00:09:18,029 It's really bad. 216 00:09:22,393 --> 00:09:23,655 Schmidt... 217 00:09:23,702 --> 00:09:25,773 - What did you do? - It was Winston's idea. 218 00:09:25,792 --> 00:09:26,967 Oh, my God. 219 00:09:26,991 --> 00:09:30,202 I'm really sorry, okay? I didn't want anybody to get hurt, but it's too late now. 220 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,537 - It's bigger than all of us. - Tell me everything. 221 00:09:32,556 --> 00:09:35,055 Or, so help me God, I will mess up your hair. 222 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,820 Your precious hair. 223 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,643 - Winston's in the... - What? 224 00:09:39,687 --> 00:09:42,767 - Winston's in... - What? Say it louder. Say it louder. 225 00:09:42,779 --> 00:09:45,806 Winston is in the air ducts with a badger. 226 00:09:45,927 --> 00:09:47,908 - What?! - Nick's there, too. 227 00:09:47,941 --> 00:09:49,347 Ah, Nick. 228 00:09:49,365 --> 00:09:51,594 You've never gone along with one of my pranks before. 229 00:09:51,627 --> 00:09:53,758 This is exciting. 230 00:09:53,783 --> 00:09:56,964 I never noticed, but you kind of have a girl butt. Is that weird to say? 231 00:09:56,983 --> 00:09:58,819 This priest is never gonna know what hit him. 232 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,606 Wait, that is the plan? 233 00:10:00,711 --> 00:10:02,954 You're gonna drop a badger on a priest? 234 00:10:02,966 --> 00:10:05,156 : Oh! He's mad. 235 00:10:05,174 --> 00:10:06,873 That can't be the plan, man! 236 00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:10,394 - What did you do? What did you do? What did you do? - I deserve this. I deserve this. I deserve this, okay? 237 00:10:10,413 --> 00:10:12,769 It's just, when Nick got involved, it became too big. 238 00:10:12,791 --> 00:10:14,780 What? What do you mean, "when Nick got involved"? 239 00:10:14,811 --> 00:10:16,839 - He wasn't always involved? - No. He said no. 240 00:10:16,876 --> 00:10:19,751 He said, "Jess means too much to me," or some crapola like that. 241 00:10:19,776 --> 00:10:21,314 - What are you doing? - Calling Nick. 242 00:10:21,332 --> 00:10:23,110 Jess, he's in the ducts! 243 00:10:23,132 --> 00:10:24,382 The ducts! 244 00:10:24,411 --> 00:10:26,855 - Beautiful ceremony. - Happy day. 245 00:10:27,974 --> 00:10:30,168 - The ducts! - I know where he is, Schmidt. 246 00:10:32,446 --> 00:10:34,506 - What? No, no. - That's my phone. 247 00:10:34,532 --> 00:10:36,498 - I said no phones. - I know. I'm gonna get it. 248 00:10:36,516 --> 00:10:37,848 They can track us with phones. 249 00:10:37,866 --> 00:10:40,079 What is going...? Relax. You're so weird with pranks. 250 00:10:40,092 --> 00:10:41,524 - What is going on with you? - Put the phone away! 251 00:10:41,555 --> 00:10:44,250 I'm trying to! I'm trying to turn it off, you idiot! 252 00:10:44,274 --> 00:10:46,625 Oh... no. 253 00:10:46,682 --> 00:10:47,882 - What's going on? - Uh... 254 00:10:47,894 --> 00:10:49,432 Bucky got out of his cage, man. 255 00:10:49,453 --> 00:10:52,124 - No! No! I'm getting out of here! - Let's go get him. No, you're coming with me. 256 00:10:52,149 --> 00:10:54,492 You got to help me find the badger, Nick! 257 00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:57,427 - You don't be no bitch! - I want out of this place! 258 00:10:57,445 --> 00:10:58,471 Bucky! 259 00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:00,012 God bless both of you. 260 00:11:00,029 --> 00:11:02,564 May he shower you with many, many children. 261 00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:05,149 Ugh, he's not picking up. 262 00:11:05,173 --> 00:11:07,367 - Of course he's not picking up. He's in the... - Don't say it. 263 00:11:07,392 --> 00:11:09,005 : ...ducts. 264 00:11:09,358 --> 00:11:10,562 He's in the ducts. 265 00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:13,248 Nick, stop being a bitch! Don't be no bitch! 266 00:11:13,267 --> 00:11:14,631 Bucky! 267 00:11:14,650 --> 00:11:15,787 - I'm going up there. - Okay, good. 268 00:11:15,818 --> 00:11:17,324 'Cause I really don't want to go up there. Look, 269 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:20,355 I'm the kind of guy that likes to enjoy the AC, not see how the sausage is made. 270 00:11:20,373 --> 00:11:22,985 Seriously, Schmidt? Shut up and give me a boost. 271 00:11:24,758 --> 00:11:25,961 Bucky... 272 00:11:26,210 --> 00:11:27,700 Aah. 273 00:11:29,328 --> 00:11:31,553 - Winston! - Nick, where are you? 274 00:11:31,571 --> 00:11:33,052 - Marco... - Polo! 275 00:11:33,078 --> 00:11:34,566 I don't want to play that. 276 00:11:34,997 --> 00:11:37,103 - No! Nick, it's me! 277 00:11:37,159 --> 00:11:38,705 Nick, it's me! 278 00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:40,538 Jess, what are you doing here? 279 00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:42,885 Look, I-I know you didn't plan the sabotage, 280 00:11:42,908 --> 00:11:45,760 and I know you're doing this just to get back at me, but please don't do this. 281 00:11:45,778 --> 00:11:48,862 Jess, it's not about the sabotage, okay? 282 00:11:48,919 --> 00:11:52,061 It's about the fact that you think I'm gonna screw up everything I touch. 283 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,561 - No, Nick, I don't. - You know what, Jess? 284 00:11:53,586 --> 00:11:56,008 This is where I belong. 285 00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:59,175 With Winston and a badger. 286 00:11:59,194 --> 00:12:02,330 All right, Nick, look, let's just go get the badger and get out of here. 287 00:12:02,343 --> 00:12:04,494 Can't get the badger because it's loose. 288 00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:05,419 What?! 289 00:12:05,437 --> 00:12:07,880 Hey, Jess, welcome, welcome. 290 00:12:07,892 --> 00:12:09,105 No! Jess! 291 00:12:09,123 --> 00:12:11,686 You know, I'm just staying positive, but, uh... 292 00:12:11,705 --> 00:12:14,311 - I'm pretty sure this is where we die. - Winston! 293 00:12:14,338 --> 00:12:16,891 When you complete the seven circles, 294 00:12:16,940 --> 00:12:19,090 you will be officially married. 295 00:12:19,124 --> 00:12:21,375 You don't have to walk so fast, you know. 296 00:12:28,395 --> 00:12:30,045 Guys? 297 00:12:30,498 --> 00:12:31,923 Guys, you know... 298 00:12:31,942 --> 00:12:34,528 I've been thinking a lot about the Earth. 299 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,998 We got to leave it better than when we found it. 300 00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:39,447 - Is this what you wanted your life to be? - 301 00:12:39,465 --> 00:12:42,397 Is this how you wanted to enjoy your best friend's wedding? 302 00:12:42,422 --> 00:12:44,479 Nick, look, no. Stop that. 303 00:12:44,503 --> 00:12:47,653 - I am not a healthy person. - Yeah, I know. I know, Nick. 304 00:12:47,671 --> 00:12:48,990 Oh, you do? 305 00:12:49,008 --> 00:12:51,561 - So a part of you agrees with your dad. - No. 306 00:12:51,585 --> 00:12:53,898 - Just... oh, my... - Okay. We got to get out of here. 307 00:12:53,911 --> 00:12:57,686 ...lovely ceremony with all your family and friends. 308 00:12:57,936 --> 00:13:00,138 Tell me that there isn't a small part of you 309 00:13:00,157 --> 00:13:01,790 that's scared that I'm too much of a mess. 310 00:13:01,816 --> 00:13:04,885 - We have to go. - That this thing is a mistake. 311 00:13:05,235 --> 00:13:06,819 You and me. 312 00:13:08,749 --> 00:13:11,285 Just admit it, Jess. 313 00:13:12,593 --> 00:13:14,594 Yes, there is a small part. 314 00:13:16,135 --> 00:13:17,353 Yeah. 315 00:13:17,841 --> 00:13:19,504 But... 316 00:13:20,338 --> 00:13:22,059 Run! 317 00:13:27,063 --> 00:13:28,357 Oh, my... 318 00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,130 - It's okay. - Jess? 319 00:13:33,164 --> 00:13:35,450 Always a bridesmaid... 320 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:44,058 Aah! Something touched my leg! 321 00:13:44,225 --> 00:13:48,878 You know, sometimes I feel like I never really felt love, you know? 322 00:13:49,713 --> 00:13:51,580 Do you know? 323 00:13:54,255 --> 00:13:56,009 Hey! Hey, hey, everybody. 324 00:13:56,042 --> 00:13:59,477 Hi. Hi. I'm Jessica Day. I'm the, uh, maid of honor. 325 00:13:59,495 --> 00:14:02,501 I'm also the person who fell through the roof with my friend Nick Miller here. 326 00:14:02,519 --> 00:14:04,640 Um, I have a few things to say. 327 00:14:04,746 --> 00:14:08,222 Um, there might be a badger on the loose, but I have my best people on it. 328 00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:09,966 I'm on it. Don't scare the badger! 329 00:14:09,985 --> 00:14:11,575 - Schmidty, help me! - Okay! 330 00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,691 - Funnel it into the mandap! - Okay. 331 00:14:14,722 --> 00:14:16,588 Hey, guys. He's in the ninth row. 332 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,163 He is headed north. 333 00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:21,545 Where were we? Um, Your Honor, please tell us where we were. 334 00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:23,708 We were on the seventh circle. 335 00:14:23,815 --> 00:14:24,875 So close. 336 00:14:24,887 --> 00:14:26,181 Great. Cece, go. 337 00:14:26,206 --> 00:14:28,814 - Jess, you don't have to fix this. - Fix what? 338 00:14:28,914 --> 00:14:31,949 This is a perfect day. 339 00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:41,899 I'm sorry, everyone, but I can't do this. 340 00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:45,518 And it's not because of the horse. 341 00:14:45,786 --> 00:14:48,023 Or the badger. 342 00:14:48,268 --> 00:14:50,469 Or "Cotton-Eyed Joe." 343 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,810 This isn't what I want. 344 00:14:56,511 --> 00:14:59,547 What I want is to be with someone else. 345 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,523 Shivrang, I feel terrible. I'm sorry. 346 00:15:05,542 --> 00:15:06,836 No... 347 00:15:06,861 --> 00:15:09,236 No, Cece, it is okay. 348 00:15:09,650 --> 00:15:12,102 In fact, it's more than okay. 349 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,205 I don't know why I didn't tell you the truth ages ago, but... 350 00:15:15,235 --> 00:15:17,152 but I want to be with someone else, too. 351 00:15:17,169 --> 00:15:19,387 - Really? - Yes. 352 00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:23,043 I have tried to forget you, Elaine-- really, I have-- 353 00:15:23,061 --> 00:15:25,180 - but I just can't. - Who the hell is Elaine? 354 00:15:25,199 --> 00:15:27,213 And I don't care what my family says. 355 00:15:27,232 --> 00:15:30,421 I want to marry you in a Presbyterian church. 356 00:15:32,558 --> 00:15:34,178 Oh, Shivvy. 357 00:15:34,292 --> 00:15:36,532 I've loved you since the first grade. 358 00:15:36,559 --> 00:15:39,976 And I'm so lonely without you. I just lay awake at night, and I just write about you 359 00:15:39,994 --> 00:15:42,720 in my journal, and I paint pictures of you on my easel. 360 00:15:42,738 --> 00:15:44,912 I want our children to be photographers and... 361 00:15:44,930 --> 00:15:46,821 and backpack across Europe. 362 00:15:47,116 --> 00:15:49,134 Will you take me away from this madness? 363 00:15:49,152 --> 00:15:52,242 And you are not too short for me. I don't care what your mother says. 364 00:15:52,287 --> 00:15:54,081 Oh, Elaine! 365 00:15:54,409 --> 00:15:55,438 Come! 366 00:15:55,450 --> 00:15:57,391 Let's go to Vegas and elope! 367 00:16:01,423 --> 00:16:03,567 I feel slightly rejected. 368 00:16:03,986 --> 00:16:05,311 Well... 369 00:16:05,336 --> 00:16:08,599 - you were slightly rejected. - Yeah. 370 00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,818 You okay? 371 00:16:11,194 --> 00:16:13,543 Well, I'm not as good as Elaine. 372 00:16:13,699 --> 00:16:15,220 Who could be? 373 00:16:16,052 --> 00:16:18,128 I feel better than I've felt in a long time. 374 00:16:18,152 --> 00:16:20,397 Good. I'm glad. 375 00:16:21,864 --> 00:16:23,673 Boobies. 376 00:16:25,261 --> 00:16:27,861 I don't think the badger's actually rabid. I think, um... 377 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,130 he's just kind of a dick. So... 378 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:33,711 Hey, Nick. 379 00:16:34,419 --> 00:16:36,338 - You okay? - Me? Yeah. 380 00:16:36,369 --> 00:16:37,829 You mean from the fall? 381 00:16:37,857 --> 00:16:40,088 Yeah. And... 382 00:16:40,588 --> 00:16:43,807 - what we talked about. - Yeah. Look, Jess, it's not... 383 00:16:43,852 --> 00:16:45,639 you know, that big of a deal. 384 00:16:45,668 --> 00:16:47,802 And we tried. It's just... 385 00:16:50,595 --> 00:16:53,221 You might be right about your fears, you know, it's... 386 00:16:53,239 --> 00:16:54,414 Just... 387 00:16:54,439 --> 00:16:56,207 just say it. 388 00:16:56,389 --> 00:16:59,379 I-I think we should call it, you know? 389 00:16:59,843 --> 00:17:02,160 It's not like we're in love or anything. 390 00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:05,507 We had one night. 391 00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,795 Okay, let's call it. 392 00:17:12,841 --> 00:17:15,541 I think that feels good to me. 393 00:17:15,583 --> 00:17:17,453 Does that feel good to you? 394 00:17:26,544 --> 00:17:28,246 But you must have feelings for her. 395 00:17:28,259 --> 00:17:30,481 You tried to sabotage her wedding. 396 00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:33,094 I sabotaged her wedding as a friend. 397 00:17:33,284 --> 00:17:36,042 I didn't want her to marry someone else 398 00:17:36,067 --> 00:17:37,557 as a friend. 399 00:17:37,648 --> 00:17:39,323 It's only mantic because it's a wedding. 400 00:17:39,329 --> 00:17:41,659 I would be just as happy to sabotage, I don't know... 401 00:17:41,712 --> 00:17:44,062 - let's say, her tax audit. - Schmidt. 402 00:17:44,594 --> 00:17:46,563 Weird day, huh? 403 00:17:46,838 --> 00:17:48,296 It's a beautiful wedding, Cece. 404 00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:50,001 - Thank you. - It was Schmidt 405 00:17:50,029 --> 00:17:52,658 that you were talking about, right? 406 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,844 It was. 407 00:17:59,558 --> 00:18:01,258 I'm-I'm sorry, Elizabeth. 408 00:18:01,277 --> 00:18:04,165 Don't be sorry. It's not your problem. It's Schmidt's. 409 00:18:04,218 --> 00:18:06,524 - Why is it... Why is it my problem? - Who's it gonna be? 410 00:18:06,542 --> 00:18:08,614 Me or her? 411 00:18:08,948 --> 00:18:10,673 No, she's right. 412 00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:13,895 - You have to choose. - We're gonna do this now? 413 00:18:14,544 --> 00:18:17,784 But can... can we sleep on it, maybe? Maybe take the night? 414 00:18:17,998 --> 00:18:19,011 I've got... 415 00:18:19,036 --> 00:18:22,203 I just got this brand-new Coldplay bootleg. Live from Rotterdam. 416 00:18:22,221 --> 00:18:24,383 What if we just make some pasta and really listen to it? 417 00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:27,344 Are you in love with her or are you in love with me? 418 00:18:28,929 --> 00:18:30,909 You have to decide. 419 00:18:39,132 --> 00:18:40,450 Can I get a beer? 420 00:18:40,469 --> 00:18:42,256 - Heisler? - Perfect. 421 00:18:59,982 --> 00:19:01,900 - Hey, man. - Hey. 422 00:19:02,888 --> 00:19:04,755 Bucky bit me. 423 00:19:04,875 --> 00:19:06,531 - Bit me bad. - Hmm. 424 00:19:06,555 --> 00:19:08,602 Yeah. So, um... 425 00:19:09,003 --> 00:19:10,837 so I'm pretty dizzy. 426 00:19:11,710 --> 00:19:13,579 Okay. 427 00:19:13,927 --> 00:19:16,515 Okay, what happened with Jess? 428 00:19:17,057 --> 00:19:18,570 We called it. 429 00:19:18,594 --> 00:19:20,395 And she left. 430 00:19:21,269 --> 00:19:23,880 Yeah, we-we called it off. 431 00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:28,503 So, now I'm gonna drink, because that's my move. 432 00:19:29,273 --> 00:19:32,180 Yeah. That was also your dad's move. 433 00:19:34,613 --> 00:19:38,329 Yeah, when things get messy, you just run away. 434 00:19:40,164 --> 00:19:42,799 But, you know, there are other moves. 435 00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:49,678 Go. 436 00:19:51,368 --> 00:19:53,001 Thanks, man. 437 00:19:55,958 --> 00:19:58,523 Hey, bartender, can you call an ambulance? 438 00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,286 I'm about to bleed out. 439 00:20:00,305 --> 00:20:02,067 Thanks, man. 440 00:20:07,894 --> 00:20:11,274 Look, I know you think we should call it, 441 00:20:11,292 --> 00:20:13,446 but I don't want to give up on this, 442 00:20:13,464 --> 00:20:15,978 even if we don't know what this is. 443 00:20:17,485 --> 00:20:19,694 I want to un-call it. 444 00:20:20,237 --> 00:20:23,162 Please, can we un-call it? 445 00:20:24,522 --> 00:20:26,746 Before you say no... 446 00:20:29,057 --> 00:20:31,108 Don't say no. 447 00:20:47,826 --> 00:20:50,826 d Down, down in my bones... 448 00:20:50,857 --> 00:20:52,096 Hey, give me the keys. 449 00:20:52,124 --> 00:20:54,689 - Where are we going? - I don't know. 450 00:20:55,271 --> 00:20:57,171 Where did we come from? 451 00:20:57,551 --> 00:20:58,868 Where do we go? 452 00:20:58,887 --> 00:21:02,060 - Where did we come from? - Shut up. 453 00:21:02,757 --> 00:21:05,058 Yeah, that was "Cotton-Eyed Joe," wasn't it? 454 00:21:06,652 --> 00:21:08,640 d You talk to me... 455 00:21:09,364 --> 00:21:11,052 I felt like something was gonna happen. 456 00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:12,858 - Let's go! - Let's go! 457 00:21:12,926 --> 00:21:15,489 d So let's go to bed 458 00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:17,833 d Before you say something real... d 459 00:21:17,876 --> 00:21:19,239 Turn left. 460 00:21:19,270 --> 00:21:22,270 - No, I'm going to make three rights. - No, Nick, just turn left! 461 00:21:22,289 --> 00:21:24,032 No, it's slower my way. 462 00:21:24,111 --> 00:21:25,905 Why would you want to go slower? 463 00:21:25,929 --> 00:21:28,408 d 'Cause it's you 464 00:21:28,522 --> 00:21:32,206 d Oh, it's always you 465 00:21:35,474 --> 00:21:40,474 Sync and corrections by Norther