1
00:00:01,420 --> 00:00:03,762
So I've been thinking
a lot about it, and...
2
00:00:04,044 --> 00:00:07,107
I'd really like to start calling
you "Shorty" in public.
3
00:00:07,488 --> 00:00:09,947
By the way, my office is throwing
a party tomorrow, and I would...
4
00:00:09,973 --> 00:00:12,003
- I'd really like for you to be there.
- Well, I have a photo shoot,
5
00:00:12,009 --> 00:00:14,197
- but I think I could come after that.
- Oh, yeah, well,
6
00:00:14,365 --> 00:00:15,628
that sounds good.
7
00:00:15,714 --> 00:00:17,534
- Who's that?
- Hmm?
8
00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:20,999
It's my doctor. Uh, D-Dr. Cover.
9
00:00:21,029 --> 00:00:24,621
Doc-Doctor Wyland Cover.
He's my oncologist.
10
00:00:25,074 --> 00:00:26,930
- He's an oncologist.
- Hey,
11
00:00:26,955 --> 00:00:28,593
you guys know
anything about cats?
12
00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:30,136
Yeah, I'm trying to score
some points with Daisy,
13
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:31,468
so I promised to watch
her cat tonight.
14
00:00:31,481 --> 00:00:33,416
They carry disease, they're
obsessed with my nipples,
15
00:00:33,431 --> 00:00:35,375
and they are unwelcome
in this loft.
16
00:00:35,395 --> 00:00:38,064
Did you just say that cats are
obsessed with your nipples?
17
00:00:38,087 --> 00:00:39,887
I've told you this story before.
18
00:00:45,881 --> 00:00:48,463
I think I would have remembered
that story.
19
00:00:48,517 --> 00:00:49,645
No cats.
20
00:00:50,488 --> 00:00:52,538
Come on, bangs, you
sons of bitches.
21
00:00:52,557 --> 00:00:54,345
- Here, let me do 'em, Jess.
- What?
22
00:00:55,015 --> 00:00:56,567
- Nick, Nick, stop.
- What?
23
00:00:56,586 --> 00:00:58,261
- Stop, you're gonna ruin it.
- I'm not gonna ruin...
24
00:00:58,284 --> 00:01:00,772
- I was... I was making 'em look prettier.
- - No, you weren't.
25
00:01:00,869 --> 00:01:02,993
- Then they look perfect as is.
- Can I ask you a question?
26
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,618
Absolutely... we having
this thing right now?
27
00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:06,843
- Do I look okay?
- Do you look okay?
28
00:01:06,912 --> 00:01:08,525
- Yeah.
- Hell yeah!
29
00:01:08,543 --> 00:01:11,118
- I want to put it on you.
- On? Put it on me?
30
00:01:11,128 --> 00:01:13,268
Yeah, on... I stand by that.
31
00:01:13,575 --> 00:01:15,409
I'd like to put it on you.
32
00:01:15,953 --> 00:01:17,341
What is wrong, Jess?
33
00:01:17,358 --> 00:01:19,905
I've been at this new
school for a week now
34
00:01:19,967 --> 00:01:21,917
and I still haven't made
any friends.
35
00:01:22,004 --> 00:01:25,828
There's, like, a clique of
teachers, and they run the school.
36
00:01:25,997 --> 00:01:28,635
♪ You keep bumpin' me
against the wall ♪
37
00:01:28,650 --> 00:01:30,544
♪ Yeah, I know I let
you slide before ♪
38
00:01:30,582 --> 00:01:34,045
♪ Hey, but until you
seen me, trust me ♪
39
00:01:34,067 --> 00:01:36,042
♪ You ain't seen bouncin' back ♪
40
00:01:36,198 --> 00:01:38,323
♪ You keep bumpin' me
against the wall ♪
41
00:01:38,656 --> 00:01:40,324
I just want them to like me.
42
00:01:40,352 --> 00:01:41,820
I know it sounds dumb, but...
43
00:01:41,843 --> 00:01:43,206
Leave it to me. I'll fix it.
44
00:01:43,243 --> 00:01:45,601
You're Nick Miller's girl now.
You're my old lady.
45
00:01:45,620 --> 00:01:47,386
- What?
- Whatever you need, you got it.
46
00:01:47,404 --> 00:01:49,128
Why are you talking like
a James Taylor song?
47
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,003
I don't know.
48
00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:52,411
Hey, either of you guys
know anything about cats?
49
00:01:52,421 --> 00:01:55,344
Oh, my God, Schmidt has
the greatest cat story!
50
00:01:55,789 --> 00:01:58,102
- Ugh, I was there... it's disgusting.
- You shut your damn mouth, Jess.
51
00:01:58,114 --> 00:02:00,539
- Thought it was cute...
- Oh, grow up!
52
00:02:00,718 --> 00:02:02,471
Nothing came out.
53
00:02:03,769 --> 00:02:05,239
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
54
00:02:05,271 --> 00:02:07,274
♪ Who's that girl ♪
♪ It's Jess ♪
55
00:02:07,287 --> 00:02:09,787
3.02 - Nerd
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
56
00:02:09,812 --> 00:02:12,312
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
57
00:02:13,123 --> 00:02:15,489
You know what? I've never
actually seen you this happy.
58
00:02:16,186 --> 00:02:17,998
- Who are you?
- I don't know, it's weird.
59
00:02:18,022 --> 00:02:20,041
I've never seen you smile. Ever.
60
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:21,905
This is the first time.
It's not bad.
61
00:02:21,918 --> 00:02:23,955
- I mean, it's not great.
- Yeah, I agree.
62
00:02:23,986 --> 00:02:25,010
Somewhere right in the middle.
63
00:02:25,037 --> 00:02:26,842
- Hey, can I ask you something?
- Of course.
64
00:02:26,866 --> 00:02:28,460
Hypothetically speaking,
65
00:02:28,491 --> 00:02:31,769
what if you met somebody that
you... that you liked, uh,
66
00:02:31,873 --> 00:02:34,026
- just as much as Jess?
- Schmidt, stop.
67
00:02:34,093 --> 00:02:36,132
Okay, you picked Cece,
so let Elizabeth go.
68
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,596
Initially I said
"hypothetically," so just...
69
00:02:37,617 --> 00:02:39,705
Do you know a place I can
get cheap school supplies?
70
00:02:39,715 --> 00:02:42,901
I only have $15 and a halfie...
$15 and a halfie.
71
00:02:42,936 --> 00:02:44,856
- A halfie?
- Yeah, it's a half.
72
00:02:44,882 --> 00:02:47,620
- It got ripped, so it's a half.
- No one's gonna accept that as currency.
73
00:02:47,884 --> 00:02:48,950
Hey, what's up, guys?
74
00:02:48,973 --> 00:02:50,922
- Did you press the button?
- I thought you pressed the button!
75
00:02:50,933 --> 00:02:52,602
What is wrong with you?!
76
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,619
- What did you do when you walked in?
- Talked to you.
77
00:02:55,651 --> 00:02:57,412
Guys, I'm gonna go
pick up Daisy's cat.
78
00:02:57,437 --> 00:02:59,354
You know, you don't just ask anybody
to take care of your cat.
79
00:02:59,373 --> 00:03:02,278
That's a very serious thing, so I
decided I'm gonna go over there
80
00:03:02,297 --> 00:03:05,528
and I'm gonna ask Daisy
to be my girlfriend.
81
00:03:05,726 --> 00:03:07,097
- You are?
- Whoa!
82
00:03:07,130 --> 00:03:08,610
- Yeah.
- Major move!
83
00:03:08,629 --> 00:03:10,688
- Good stuff.
- Look at you, man.
84
00:03:10,701 --> 00:03:13,107
So I'm just gonna go over there
and I'm gonna tell Daisy,
85
00:03:13,139 --> 00:03:17,992
"Listen, my heart is a two-man bike,
and I want you in the rear."
86
00:03:19,187 --> 00:03:21,300
- What do you think?
- Winston, don't say that.
87
00:03:21,350 --> 00:03:23,252
You want her in your...?
You can say "the rear."
88
00:03:23,277 --> 00:03:25,577
- You don't want her in your rear.
- No, don't say "the rear" at any time.
89
00:03:25,604 --> 00:03:26,716
- You guys are just jealous.
- What?
90
00:03:26,737 --> 00:03:28,085
You guys are gonna
steal my swag.
91
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,715
I wouldn't even know how
to begin to steal a swag.
92
00:03:31,710 --> 00:03:34,150
- I thought you pressed the button.
- I've been way over here.
93
00:03:34,829 --> 00:03:36,642
- I-I haven't pressed...
- I'll press the button.
94
00:03:36,709 --> 00:03:38,222
Last night,
95
00:03:38,291 --> 00:03:40,544
I rectified our budget
96
00:03:40,577 --> 00:03:45,530
while taking a long
soak in my new Jacooz.
97
00:03:45,650 --> 00:03:48,506
My elbows are as soft as babies.
98
00:03:48,533 --> 00:03:50,777
I love a soft elbow.
99
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,445
How about you bring
that noise over here.
100
00:03:53,277 --> 00:03:54,440
Good meeting.
101
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:56,335
Great, well...
102
00:03:56,476 --> 00:03:57,932
Uh...
103
00:03:59,923 --> 00:04:02,003
- Foster's such a dork.
- He needs to get laid.
104
00:04:02,061 --> 00:04:03,914
I got laid.
105
00:04:04,987 --> 00:04:06,475
This morning.
106
00:04:06,533 --> 00:04:08,134
From my boyfriend.
107
00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:09,159
So...
108
00:04:09,184 --> 00:04:12,073
coitus no-one-interruptus.
109
00:04:12,525 --> 00:04:13,584
That...
110
00:04:13,609 --> 00:04:15,609
because we finished, so...
111
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:19,012
- Why are you talking to us?
- You have owl eyes.
112
00:04:19,049 --> 00:04:20,546
Yeah.
113
00:04:22,878 --> 00:04:23,974
Hey!
114
00:04:24,329 --> 00:04:26,262
Trust me. What's up, teachers?
115
00:04:26,311 --> 00:04:28,871
Who wants free school supplies?
116
00:04:28,978 --> 00:04:31,389
- What are you doing here?
- Point to the ones who don't like you...
117
00:04:31,416 --> 00:04:33,475
- I can handle this myself.
- I'm fixing it for you.
118
00:04:34,102 --> 00:04:35,415
And then she... Yeah.
119
00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:38,471
Say, listen, why don't you guys come
to my bar later for free drinks.
120
00:04:38,542 --> 00:04:39,776
Teachers don't pay.
121
00:04:40,794 --> 00:04:43,338
- We'll think about it.
- Okay, they'll think about it.
122
00:04:44,412 --> 00:04:45,531
Bye.
123
00:04:46,194 --> 00:04:47,148
Oh, my God.
124
00:04:47,169 --> 00:04:48,703
- That was genius.
- It's a no-brainer.
125
00:04:48,728 --> 00:04:50,987
Whoa, that's an amazing
move, sex partner.
126
00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:52,142
Sex part...
127
00:04:52,187 --> 00:04:54,918
With the promotion, uh,
I got a new office,
128
00:04:54,945 --> 00:04:58,158
so I don't have to look at Bethany's
mismanaged eyebrows all day.
129
00:04:58,324 --> 00:05:00,385
Do you like it? It's a
perfect two-thirds replica
130
00:05:00,409 --> 00:05:03,645
of Don Draper's office from Mad
Men, and you're my sexy Peggy.
131
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,440
Good God, at least
shut the door.
132
00:05:05,464 --> 00:05:07,874
- My tiny credenza is in the way.
- Hey, Elizabeth,
133
00:05:07,909 --> 00:05:09,865
are you gonna be coming to
the party tomorrow night?
134
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:12,381
- Party? What party?
- The big office party.
135
00:05:12,403 --> 00:05:14,805
Schmidt,
did you not invite her?
136
00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:18,380
I was just about to
invite you to go.
137
00:05:18,428 --> 00:05:20,295
Cool, it's a date.
138
00:05:20,397 --> 00:05:23,395
- Bye, baby.
- Bye. Mwah, mwah.
139
00:05:24,770 --> 00:05:28,006
How... how dare you interfere
with my personal life, you crone.
140
00:05:28,089 --> 00:05:31,896
I don't... I don't kick up a fuss when you
massage yourself with your yoga ball.
141
00:05:31,909 --> 00:05:34,041
Oh, I'm sorry, were you
gonna invite Cece?
142
00:05:34,059 --> 00:05:37,528
Beth, please. I am in love
with both of these women.
143
00:05:37,923 --> 00:05:40,111
Do I feel bad about
lying to them?
144
00:05:40,115 --> 00:05:42,045
Yes. I'm a Sagittarius.
145
00:05:42,064 --> 00:05:43,839
Congrats on your new office.
146
00:05:43,975 --> 00:05:46,181
Gina gave birth on that carpet.
147
00:05:52,662 --> 00:05:54,210
Consider this closed.
148
00:05:55,148 --> 00:05:57,070
Right, so, yeah, um...
149
00:05:57,230 --> 00:06:00,702
Um, so, Daisy, what I was
really trying to say...
150
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,040
is, uh...
151
00:06:03,516 --> 00:06:05,966
- Is your shower running? - Yeah, I
was just about to take a shower.
152
00:06:06,003 --> 00:06:07,276
- What's going on?
- Okay.
153
00:06:07,302 --> 00:06:10,875
Um, Daisy, I think
what we have is real,
154
00:06:10,964 --> 00:06:13,317
and, uh, I want us
to be exclusive...
155
00:06:13,468 --> 00:06:17,324
just you and me in the rear.
156
00:06:19,061 --> 00:06:20,510
Yeah, that sounds great.
157
00:06:20,535 --> 00:06:22,291
Awesome, um...
158
00:06:25,845 --> 00:06:27,389
Sorry, that's mine.
159
00:06:27,558 --> 00:06:30,829
So, Furguson gets his wet food in
the morning, dry food at night.
160
00:06:35,968 --> 00:06:37,718
- Somebody in there?
- No.
161
00:06:39,702 --> 00:06:41,386
No treats after midnight.
162
00:06:42,515 --> 00:06:47,849
"Oh, my name is Principal Foster,
and this is the Jacooz."
163
00:06:47,884 --> 00:06:49,446
"The Jacooz."
164
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,659
He's so nice, don't you think?
165
00:06:52,028 --> 00:06:53,772
He's such a nice boss.
166
00:06:56,018 --> 00:06:58,041
Y'all want some drinks?
167
00:06:58,178 --> 00:06:59,130
- Yeah, okay.
- Yep.
168
00:06:59,153 --> 00:07:01,416
- Yeah. Thank, thank you.
- Thank you.
169
00:07:01,642 --> 00:07:03,539
What do you think?
I think it's going really well.
170
00:07:03,567 --> 00:07:05,332
Okay, I just realized
what's happening.
171
00:07:05,351 --> 00:07:09,065
It's high school over there, and they're
the cool kids, and you're the nerd.
172
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,259
I was never a nerd.
173
00:07:10,289 --> 00:07:12,924
♪ On western wings
the fowls doth fly ♪
174
00:07:12,936 --> 00:07:15,316
♪ On briny swells the
fishes doth swim ♪
175
00:07:15,544 --> 00:07:17,258
Oh, like you were so cool.
176
00:07:18,342 --> 00:07:19,320
Stall!
177
00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:21,929
Nick! Nick! Nick!
178
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,258
- The Miller Sack Pack.
- Miller Sack Pack?
179
00:07:27,289 --> 00:07:29,011
They made shirts.
180
00:07:29,288 --> 00:07:30,993
You know what? I'm not
explaining my coolness to you.
181
00:07:31,005 --> 00:07:33,841
I was cool. Listen to me. You
want to be in with them?
182
00:07:33,965 --> 00:07:36,160
Roll with the punches,
go with the flow.
183
00:07:36,181 --> 00:07:38,056
Make fun of your
boss a little bit.
184
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,868
Don't follow your instincts.
185
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:41,230
I wouldn't sing.
186
00:07:41,264 --> 00:07:44,256
But most importantly,
follow my lead.
187
00:07:44,371 --> 00:07:47,307
And by "follow my
lead," I mean drink.
188
00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:48,994
And I mean drink...
189
00:07:49,691 --> 00:07:50,616
a lot.
190
00:07:50,645 --> 00:07:53,585
Drinking to be cool, Nick?
That's not a real thing.
191
00:07:53,604 --> 00:07:56,268
That's the only thing in the
world I know to be true.
192
00:07:57,739 --> 00:07:59,406
Schools are for fools!
193
00:07:59,431 --> 00:08:00,767
They are.
194
00:08:00,778 --> 00:08:02,871
Sometimes firemen are women!
195
00:08:02,921 --> 00:08:05,199
Sometimes! Sometimes!
196
00:08:09,340 --> 00:08:12,252
Hey, there she is.
Ol' Toilet Pants,
197
00:08:12,288 --> 00:08:15,627
the girl who bet herself six dollars
she could dance in a toilet bowl.
198
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,428
♪ Oh, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
199
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,565
♪ What's going on? ♪
200
00:08:21,981 --> 00:08:23,118
I'm cool.
201
00:08:23,132 --> 00:08:25,003
You are cool, but you
still got to go to work,
202
00:08:25,023 --> 00:08:27,121
'cause you're running
late, so up and at 'em.
203
00:08:27,146 --> 00:08:29,003
Hey, Nick, I got to talk to you.
I have a real problem.
204
00:08:29,033 --> 00:08:31,478
- Oh, my God. Did you kill Jess?
- No, no, no, no.
205
00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:33,515
She just got really drunk last
night, and she passed out.
206
00:08:33,525 --> 00:08:34,817
Hey, guys.
207
00:08:35,151 --> 00:08:37,545
- Are you crying, buddy?
- No.
208
00:08:37,719 --> 00:08:40,976
- Hey, did he kill Jess?
- No, I didn't kill Je...
209
00:08:41,057 --> 00:08:42,795
Okay, remember when
I was so hungover,
210
00:08:42,807 --> 00:08:45,628
- I almost missed my flight for Christmas?
- Ah, count it down.
211
00:08:45,751 --> 00:08:47,685
- Three, two, one.
- Two, one.
212
00:08:47,803 --> 00:08:51,072
♪ I believe I can fly ♪
213
00:08:51,099 --> 00:08:54,142
♪ I believe I can
touch the sky ♪
214
00:08:54,173 --> 00:08:57,408
♪ I think about it
every night and day ♪
215
00:08:57,441 --> 00:09:00,635
♪ Spread my wings
and fly away ♪
216
00:09:00,660 --> 00:09:02,497
♪ I believe I can soar ♪
217
00:09:02,527 --> 00:09:03,683
♪ Soar... ♪
218
00:09:03,756 --> 00:09:05,435
- I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.
- Oh, she's awake.
219
00:09:05,466 --> 00:09:07,166
That was beautiful.
Where are my tights?
220
00:09:07,185 --> 00:09:09,073
Uh, in the bathroom
where you barfed.
221
00:09:09,868 --> 00:09:11,607
- You sounded really good there, man.
- Start the band.
222
00:09:11,633 --> 00:09:12,481
What did you do to her?
223
00:09:12,512 --> 00:09:14,468
I just told her that I thought
drinking would make her cool.
224
00:09:14,497 --> 00:09:16,510
What are you, a 14-year-old
hockey player?
225
00:09:16,607 --> 00:09:18,185
You're supposed to protect
her, not encourage her.
226
00:09:18,194 --> 00:09:20,588
Okay, I am protecting her.
She's my old lady now.
227
00:09:20,617 --> 00:09:22,711
- By turning her into you?
- I'm not...
228
00:09:22,821 --> 00:09:24,946
Yeah, Daisy cheating on me.
229
00:09:28,205 --> 00:09:30,624
Wait, we're using real honey?
So sticky.
230
00:09:30,767 --> 00:09:33,488
Hey, babe!
What a nice surprise!
231
00:09:34,042 --> 00:09:36,955
I came to tell you that you can't
come with me to the party tonight.
232
00:09:37,149 --> 00:09:40,068
They just told me that
it's employees only.
233
00:09:40,391 --> 00:09:42,337
- No sig oths.
- Just say "significant others."
234
00:09:42,346 --> 00:09:44,497
Maybe you have that kind of
time, but I'm on a tight sched.
235
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,018
Looks like we're gonna go late
here anyway, so no worries.
236
00:09:47,208 --> 00:09:48,915
All right... Shorty.
237
00:09:49,883 --> 00:09:52,170
All right, bring in the bees!
238
00:09:52,247 --> 00:09:54,797
Oh, wait. The bees are real, too?
Oh, hell no!
239
00:09:55,037 --> 00:09:56,856
Nick, I need your help, okay?
240
00:09:56,894 --> 00:09:58,211
Now, I am no plumber,
241
00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:01,383
but I'm 99% sure that there
was a guy in her bathroom.
242
00:10:01,448 --> 00:10:03,565
So, she agreed
to be exclusive with you...
243
00:10:03,598 --> 00:10:06,562
while the guy she is
obviously sleeping with
244
00:10:06,593 --> 00:10:10,454
was washing his size 15
ding-dong in the shower.
245
00:10:10,886 --> 00:10:12,349
And now you're taking care
of her cat.
246
00:10:12,381 --> 00:10:13,622
Those are the
bullet points, yes.
247
00:10:13,641 --> 00:10:16,534
You know what you got to do to get
yourself out of this situation.
248
00:10:17,357 --> 00:10:19,732
Break up with Daisy!
249
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,063
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you're
making some very good points.
250
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:24,060
You know, break up with Daisy.
That's an option.
251
00:10:24,084 --> 00:10:26,627
I was thinking, like,
I'll kill her cat.
252
00:10:26,803 --> 00:10:28,063
Winston.
253
00:10:29,278 --> 00:10:30,941
Yeah, I'm-I'm gonna
kill her cat first.
254
00:10:30,957 --> 00:10:32,573
- Hey.
- I'm gonna kill you.
255
00:10:36,377 --> 00:10:39,229
- Hey, it's little Toilet Pants.
- Hey, Toilet Pants!
256
00:10:39,243 --> 00:10:41,787
♪ Toilet Pants! ♪
257
00:10:41,965 --> 00:10:44,813
- Please stop shouting.
- You are so awesome.
258
00:10:44,956 --> 00:10:46,811
I want to show you something.
259
00:10:46,916 --> 00:10:48,433
Oh!
260
00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:50,374
Oh. Oh. Oh.
261
00:10:52,294 --> 00:10:53,453
You're one of us now.
262
00:10:53,470 --> 00:10:56,096
You never have to drink
out of a paper cup again.
263
00:10:56,238 --> 00:10:58,024
Fun mugs.
264
00:10:59,638 --> 00:11:02,491
This one makes me
look like I have a...
265
00:11:02,634 --> 00:11:03,628
- mustache.
- Mustache.
266
00:11:03,652 --> 00:11:05,111
Mustache.
267
00:11:09,185 --> 00:11:11,378
- What's up, Winston?
- Oh, hey, Nick.
268
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,093
You know, I couldn't figure out
the best way to kill Furguson,
269
00:11:14,102 --> 00:11:17,772
so I decided to just let him
choose how he wants to die.
270
00:11:17,906 --> 00:11:20,919
If only I could get him to
leave that damn sunbeam.
271
00:11:21,740 --> 00:11:24,135
- You're gonna murder a cat?
- Yeah.
272
00:11:24,153 --> 00:11:25,817
- This is a joke, right?
- No.
273
00:11:25,845 --> 00:11:28,906
- This is one of your pranks?
- An eye for an eye, Nick.
274
00:11:28,931 --> 00:11:32,225
- A cat for a cat.
- But what's the other cat?
275
00:11:32,789 --> 00:11:33,914
My heart.
276
00:11:33,947 --> 00:11:36,458
Where's that big flashlight
you can hit people with?
277
00:11:36,481 --> 00:11:39,224
Also, do we have any meat pieces
that might distract a dog?
278
00:11:39,258 --> 00:11:40,946
Winston, don't do
anything stupid.
279
00:11:40,983 --> 00:11:43,696
- Jess, what are you doing?
- Oh, yeah, yeah. Cool, cool. It's nothing.
280
00:11:43,733 --> 00:11:45,623
We're just breaking
into Foster's backyard,
281
00:11:45,641 --> 00:11:47,714
and we are gonna put
our butts in his Jacuzzi.
282
00:11:47,732 --> 00:11:49,813
- You're gonna put your butts in
his Jacuzzi? - Isn't it awesome?
283
00:11:49,831 --> 00:11:51,425
Uh, no, it's not awesome. It's a crime.
284
00:11:51,453 --> 00:11:53,469
- It's a very stupid crime,
but it's a crime. - Hey,
285
00:11:53,481 --> 00:11:56,474
do you have any makeup or costumes that
might make someone look like a bush?
286
00:11:56,496 --> 00:11:58,234
You are about to commit a felony.
287
00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:01,301
Oh, my God, Nick!
You said roll with it!
288
00:12:01,326 --> 00:12:02,783
You're not the kind of person
who could break
289
00:12:02,795 --> 00:12:04,861
into the principal's house
and get away with it.
290
00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:06,447
You're the kind of person
who gets caught,
291
00:12:06,472 --> 00:12:08,469
and it ends up on the
Internet in a funny way.
292
00:12:09,399 --> 00:12:11,854
My God! That is the cutest cat!
293
00:12:11,885 --> 00:12:15,168
- Uh, don't get attached.
- Okay, both of you, knock it off!
294
00:12:15,436 --> 00:12:17,935
- Winston!
- Look, Nick, you're right.
295
00:12:17,953 --> 00:12:20,172
I'm a nerd. I've never fit in.
296
00:12:20,533 --> 00:12:23,706
If I met you in high school, you
never would have even noticed me.
297
00:12:23,735 --> 00:12:25,729
That's just because I
didn't go to class.
298
00:12:25,892 --> 00:12:28,317
- I wouldn't have seen you.
- I know it's stupid, but I'm doing it.
299
00:12:28,337 --> 00:12:30,601
- I'm not letting you go.
- Oh, you're not letting me?
300
00:12:30,671 --> 00:12:31,539
No.
301
00:12:31,554 --> 00:12:33,911
If for some reason
I don't come back tonight,
302
00:12:33,940 --> 00:12:37,469
I'll be at the Appleton Suites
under the name Suzuki Sinclair.
303
00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:39,559
- Ask for Charles.
- Don't... Hey, hey.
304
00:12:39,577 --> 00:12:42,183
- We're not done with this conversation,
young lady! - Well, we are done!
305
00:12:42,201 --> 00:12:43,439
Oh, yeah, then where are you going?!
306
00:12:43,472 --> 00:12:44,945
- I'm getting a flashlight!
- Oh, a hammer, huh?
307
00:12:44,971 --> 00:12:46,509
- Hey, Winston, Winston.
- Good way to go. Thr...
308
00:12:46,531 --> 00:12:48,432
- Don't hurt that cat.
- Uh-huh.
309
00:12:48,541 --> 00:12:51,154
- Hey, Furguson? Furguson?
- You scared him. Don't do this.
310
00:12:51,179 --> 00:12:52,429
- Furguson?
- Winston!
311
00:12:52,827 --> 00:12:55,216
Winston, Winston,
stop what you... Stop!
312
00:12:55,228 --> 00:12:56,810
Don't do that scary walk!
313
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:59,594
Do not do that scary walk
that you do that scares me!
314
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,035
Hey, Jess? Jess?
315
00:13:01,105 --> 00:13:03,378
Je...? Winston,
don't kill that...!
316
00:13:03,406 --> 00:13:05,695
Jess! I don't know what to do!
317
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:12,514
- Oh, good Lord.
- What's wrong?
318
00:13:12,539 --> 00:13:14,478
Nothing. You know what?
Let me show you the stairwell
319
00:13:14,491 --> 00:13:16,843
where they got the idea
for the escalator.
320
00:13:19,072 --> 00:13:21,149
Shorty! My love.
My only love.
321
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,819
I'm sorry. I just... I quit
that job, and I had to see you.
322
00:13:23,865 --> 00:13:25,596
How emotional. Let's go
talk about it in private
323
00:13:25,614 --> 00:13:28,323
in a perfect two-thirds replica
of Don Draper's office.
324
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,570
You stay here.
I'm gonna get you a drink.
325
00:13:30,598 --> 00:13:33,038
No, no, no, please, you-you...
you stay here.
326
00:13:34,482 --> 00:13:36,607
- So... They're both here.
- Oh, God, what?
327
00:13:36,625 --> 00:13:38,294
The gas has been spilled.
328
00:13:38,562 --> 00:13:39,551
All we need is a match.
329
00:13:39,563 --> 00:13:41,837
What, are you narrating a book?
330
00:13:49,149 --> 00:13:50,796
Here it comes.
331
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:53,651
The long nap.
332
00:13:57,739 --> 00:14:01,318
Oh, wow. Tell you what, man, we both
need to just cool off and have a drink.
333
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,443
You smoke?
I'm just kidding.
334
00:14:03,561 --> 00:14:05,300
But, man, that'd be
cute if you did.
335
00:14:06,828 --> 00:14:08,662
What is wrong with me?
336
00:14:08,897 --> 00:14:10,397
It...
337
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,988
Oh, Furguson.
338
00:14:14,662 --> 00:14:17,231
So, listen, I've been
dreaming about this fantasy,
339
00:14:17,249 --> 00:14:19,637
and I think this party might be
the perfect place to try it out.
340
00:14:19,655 --> 00:14:21,518
Okay, but I can't get wet.
341
00:14:21,542 --> 00:14:25,303
No water. So, listen, you and I
are gonna be sexy strangers.
342
00:14:25,319 --> 00:14:28,481
Yeah? Now, your stranger is
the early-to-bed type,
343
00:14:28,670 --> 00:14:30,608
and your job has you
on Hong Kong time.
344
00:14:30,635 --> 00:14:32,541
But the most important thing is,
345
00:14:32,801 --> 00:14:34,820
you're the first person
to leave the party.
346
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,620
Whew. I like.
347
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,129
- Wait, is that Cece?
- Is that who?
348
00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:41,698
Huh? No.
349
00:14:41,722 --> 00:14:44,639
- Cece. No.
- No, Schmidt, that's definitely Cece.
350
00:14:48,725 --> 00:14:51,553
Sorry, in between modeling
jobs, she does catering.
351
00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:54,549
You mind if I go over there and
say hello? I think it's only right.
352
00:14:54,576 --> 00:14:55,912
Eh.
353
00:14:58,703 --> 00:15:01,722
- Hey. - Hey, I know you told me to stay
in the office, but Beth insisted that I...
354
00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:05,177
Stay away from that woman. She is patient
zero in this office for spreading HPV.
355
00:15:05,241 --> 00:15:06,297
Here. Put on this apron.
356
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,607
No, why-why would I do that?
That's crazy.
357
00:15:08,620 --> 00:15:10,812
My boss was asking, so I
told her you were a caterer.
358
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:13,047
So... just... It's a good idea.
359
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,093
- Okay.
- Just... Yes.
360
00:15:15,308 --> 00:15:17,264
You really want me
here, don't you?
361
00:15:17,423 --> 00:15:18,950
So badly.
362
00:15:20,849 --> 00:15:22,884
Can we just come back
when we have a plan?
363
00:15:22,903 --> 00:15:25,450
- Are you afraid?
- No, I'm not afraid.
364
00:15:25,914 --> 00:15:28,191
- Rose, give me a boost.
- Here's Rose. I got you.
365
00:15:28,215 --> 00:15:30,247
Oh, my... Oh, my God.
366
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:33,444
- You got to help me a little.
- That's a hell of a grip, Rose.
367
00:15:33,563 --> 00:15:35,417
I see the Jacuzzi!
368
00:15:35,891 --> 00:15:37,183
Didn't stick the landing!
369
00:15:37,254 --> 00:15:38,762
You're doing great.
370
00:15:38,817 --> 00:15:41,326
I'm gonna do a loop
to not attract suspicion.
371
00:15:41,386 --> 00:15:43,142
- All right.
- All right.
372
00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:46,654
Schmidt. I'm right here.
373
00:15:46,828 --> 00:15:47,984
Oh.
374
00:15:48,139 --> 00:15:50,140
- Do I know you?
- Right.
375
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:51,870
The fantasy.
376
00:15:52,674 --> 00:15:54,080
Boy, I got to go.
377
00:15:54,967 --> 00:15:57,429
I have a 5:00 a.m.
conference call with...
378
00:15:58,225 --> 00:15:59,768
the Asians.
379
00:16:00,009 --> 00:16:02,422
Are you leaving soon, stranger?
380
00:16:02,434 --> 00:16:03,800
You mean "Corporal"?
381
00:16:04,113 --> 00:16:06,064
And, no, I'm gonna stick around
and throw down one more beer.
382
00:16:06,089 --> 00:16:07,428
Sweet.
383
00:16:09,312 --> 00:16:11,860
Oh, hey. Don't tell
me you're leaving.
384
00:16:11,877 --> 00:16:13,323
Whew, great news.
385
00:16:13,342 --> 00:16:15,648
My boss is in her office
completely passed out.
386
00:16:15,958 --> 00:16:18,157
- We finally have the night to ourselves.
- Thank God.
387
00:16:18,175 --> 00:16:20,160
It's getting a little weird here,
right?
388
00:16:20,222 --> 00:16:21,765
Dressed up like this.
389
00:16:24,477 --> 00:16:26,315
That Elizabeth?
390
00:16:33,564 --> 00:16:37,010
Okay, look, Cece, I-I got
to tell you something.
391
00:16:37,136 --> 00:16:39,687
Does Elizabeth... work here?
392
00:16:40,432 --> 00:16:41,657
Yes.
393
00:16:42,557 --> 00:16:44,712
- Hey.
- We were just talking about you.
394
00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,695
The food was good.
395
00:16:46,712 --> 00:16:47,903
Yeah.
396
00:16:47,976 --> 00:16:51,208
- I was thinking of taking some home.
- You deserve it.
397
00:16:51,229 --> 00:16:53,163
Okay, well, I'm heading off.
398
00:16:53,218 --> 00:16:56,045
The Asian markets
wait for no one.
399
00:16:59,450 --> 00:17:00,484
Wow.
400
00:17:00,642 --> 00:17:03,277
She was ice cold to you.
401
00:17:04,155 --> 00:17:06,140
I'm gonna go get a drink.
402
00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:07,943
What a night.
403
00:17:16,127 --> 00:17:17,841
- I got this!
- Open the damn gate!
404
00:17:17,879 --> 00:17:20,754
- Jess, hey! Don't move! I'm coming over!
Rose, move! - Everything's under control!
405
00:17:20,781 --> 00:17:22,419
Jess, hey. I'm coming.
406
00:17:22,482 --> 00:17:24,338
- I got you.
- Whoa, hey, Rose!
407
00:17:24,363 --> 00:17:26,843
Ease up on the throttle.
Those are my precious goods.
408
00:17:26,908 --> 00:17:29,258
- Did you follow me here?
- Here I come!
409
00:17:30,331 --> 00:17:31,848
- Nick.
- Hey.
410
00:17:31,914 --> 00:17:34,946
Hey, Jess. Jess, hey.
You okay?
411
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:38,510
- Yeah. - I'm sorry I tried to
stick my nose in this. I just...
412
00:17:38,673 --> 00:17:42,061
I just... I came here because
I'm your old man now.
413
00:17:42,285 --> 00:17:45,823
And if you're gonna do something
that's obviously very stupid...
414
00:17:46,724 --> 00:17:49,034
then I'm gonna do it with you.
415
00:17:53,895 --> 00:17:56,288
- Oh. Ow.
- Oh, my God. You go there.
416
00:17:57,155 --> 00:17:58,493
- What's going on out here?
- Hey.
417
00:17:58,518 --> 00:18:00,882
- Who are you?
- No, I-I used to live here.
418
00:18:01,011 --> 00:18:02,628
I was just doing a visit
around the neighborhood.
419
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,609
That's my old bedroom
right there.
420
00:18:04,781 --> 00:18:07,325
- That's a bathroom.
- To you maybe it is.
421
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,571
But to me and my four brothers,
422
00:18:09,604 --> 00:18:11,184
- that's a home.
- Nick.
423
00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:12,864
Nick, I can't let you do this.
424
00:18:12,899 --> 00:18:14,600
Mostly 'cause you're so bad at it.
425
00:18:14,625 --> 00:18:16,294
- Is that you, Ms. Day?
- Yes.
426
00:18:16,330 --> 00:18:20,180
It is. I'm so sorry. I
trespassed on your property.
427
00:18:20,289 --> 00:18:23,245
And I would not be surprised
428
00:18:23,295 --> 00:18:25,295
if you fired me.
429
00:18:25,524 --> 00:18:28,926
I think I know what's
really going on here.
430
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:33,879
You heard about
my new... Jacooz.
431
00:18:35,232 --> 00:18:36,890
And you wanted a taste.
432
00:18:36,912 --> 00:18:38,900
♪ And say a little
prayer for right ♪
433
00:18:38,925 --> 00:18:41,513
♪ You know that if we
are to stay alive ♪
434
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:44,532
Come on in, kids.
The water's hot!
435
00:18:45,613 --> 00:18:47,187
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
436
00:18:48,212 --> 00:18:49,301
♪ Doo-doo-doo... ♪
437
00:18:49,803 --> 00:18:51,340
Hey, babe.
Thanks for watching him.
438
00:18:51,371 --> 00:18:53,372
He can be a real pain
in the ass, huh?
439
00:18:53,506 --> 00:18:54,412
Yeah...
440
00:18:54,431 --> 00:18:56,643
Was there a dude in
your shower yesterday?
441
00:18:57,843 --> 00:18:58,681
Yes.
442
00:18:58,717 --> 00:19:00,706
Hmm.
How do you know him?
443
00:19:00,805 --> 00:19:04,130
From sex. But it was from sex
before you and I were exclusive.
444
00:19:05,319 --> 00:19:06,963
Have you had sex with him since?
445
00:19:06,975 --> 00:19:07,969
No.
446
00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,511
Oh, wait. Yes.
447
00:19:09,536 --> 00:19:10,911
Last night.
448
00:19:11,118 --> 00:19:12,756
Look, um...
449
00:19:12,869 --> 00:19:14,444
I really liked you, Daisy.
450
00:19:14,591 --> 00:19:17,260
You know, I wanted this
to be a thing, but, uh...
451
00:19:17,763 --> 00:19:19,370
I deserve better.
452
00:19:21,478 --> 00:19:22,965
And so does Furguson.
453
00:19:22,986 --> 00:19:24,242
Hmm?
454
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,179
I'm keeping the cat.
455
00:19:27,612 --> 00:19:29,461
I got your cat!
456
00:19:35,426 --> 00:19:37,874
Well, Schmidt, you win.
457
00:19:37,898 --> 00:19:40,290
They both really love you.
458
00:19:40,957 --> 00:19:42,094
So...
459
00:19:42,132 --> 00:19:44,132
enjoy your office.
460
00:19:47,070 --> 00:19:49,036
- Hey! Toilet Pants!
- Oh!
461
00:19:50,112 --> 00:19:51,006
Toilet Pants!
462
00:19:51,031 --> 00:19:53,265
Thanks for taking the bullet
for us the other night.
463
00:19:53,295 --> 00:19:55,951
How long were you stuck
in that Jacuzzi for?
464
00:19:55,963 --> 00:19:58,720
I don't really want to
talk about it, but, um,
465
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:03,919
at one point, he did grab my foot
with his toes like it was a hand.
466
00:20:03,944 --> 00:20:05,163
What are you doing tonight?
467
00:20:05,181 --> 00:20:07,730
'Cause we got a liquid
form of Ecstasy,
468
00:20:07,755 --> 00:20:10,064
and we're gonna grade
papers together. What?
469
00:20:10,088 --> 00:20:13,943
I would love to, but I actually
think I'm gonna hang out...
470
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,901
with my old man.
471
00:20:15,983 --> 00:20:17,817
That's... weird.
472
00:20:18,462 --> 00:20:19,318
Cool.
473
00:20:19,331 --> 00:20:21,204
- See you.
- Weirdo.
474
00:20:31,427 --> 00:20:32,346
Hi.
475
00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:34,650
So I hear you're interested
in joining the Sack Pack.
476
00:20:34,702 --> 00:20:35,965
I might be.
477
00:20:36,055 --> 00:20:40,694
Then perhaps this will wet your whistle
of what's fun about being a member.
478
00:20:42,430 --> 00:20:44,055
- Just leave it.
- Yeah.
479
00:20:44,102 --> 00:20:46,411
You are terrible at Hacky Sack.
480
00:20:46,436 --> 00:20:47,788
I think I'm retiring.
481
00:20:53,593 --> 00:20:55,444
Yeah, I just want to say...
482
00:20:55,682 --> 00:20:57,582
I would've noticed you.
483
00:21:08,625 --> 00:21:10,026
Want to go do it in
the teachers' lounge?
484
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:11,029
- Yes.
- You do?
485
00:21:11,041 --> 00:21:13,409
Oh, I'm gonna do it
with a teacher!
486
00:21:15,248 --> 00:21:17,192
Shh.
487
00:21:21,584 --> 00:21:24,723
Okay, something is
definitely coming out.
488
00:21:27,850 --> 00:21:29,554
I think we should go.
489
00:21:34,444 --> 00:21:40,444
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther