1 00:00:03,176 --> 00:00:04,070 You taking up tennis? 2 00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:05,426 No, it's *** fly swatter. 3 00:00:05,638 --> 00:00:07,076 - I want to see it work. - Well, we need a fly. 4 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:08,943 I've been waiting whole morning. 5 00:00:09,683 --> 00:00:10,988 Did you honestly just kill one? 6 00:00:11,025 --> 00:00:13,260 Hey, what's going on, guys? Ooh! Ah! 7 00:00:13,294 --> 00:00:14,844 Walk with dignity, you giant toddler. 8 00:00:14,979 --> 00:00:17,664 Come on, Schmidt, you got to get this stuff out of here, man. 9 00:00:17,698 --> 00:00:19,499 Yeah, well, I can't afford storage. All my money's tied up 10 00:00:19,533 --> 00:00:21,701 in the storefront I leased for Jess' sister. 11 00:00:21,736 --> 00:00:24,671 So why don't you put your junk in the storefront, Schmidt? 12 00:00:24,705 --> 00:00:26,172 You really want me to put an Ian Schrager rug 13 00:00:26,207 --> 00:00:27,941 in a room without climate control? 14 00:00:27,975 --> 00:00:28,890 What? 15 00:00:29,049 --> 00:00:30,677 Oh, he was the guy in Star Wars. 16 00:00:30,711 --> 00:00:32,612 Medium talent. 17 00:00:32,647 --> 00:00:33,976 - Hey, guys. Morning. - Hey, Jess. 18 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,030 Hey. 19 00:00:35,065 --> 00:00:37,350 Come on, Coach! Let's hustle! 20 00:00:37,385 --> 00:00:39,986 I got Coach a job at the school, and it's his first day. 21 00:00:41,122 --> 00:00:42,222 I don't like kids, 22 00:00:42,256 --> 00:00:43,590 I don't like teaching, 23 00:00:43,624 --> 00:00:45,292 I just like paychecks. 24 00:00:45,326 --> 00:00:46,793 Well, I think you're gonna love it. 25 00:00:46,827 --> 00:00:48,428 I don't think I'm gonna love it. 26 00:00:50,031 --> 00:00:54,701 Run! Do not stop running or I will eat your faces and bodies! 27 00:00:54,735 --> 00:00:57,737 Keep running or I will murder your family! 28 00:00:58,773 --> 00:01:01,141 I love this job. 29 00:01:01,175 --> 00:01:02,742 You're pissing me off! This one. 30 00:01:02,777 --> 00:01:04,644 This one. I got my eye on you. 31 00:01:08,576 --> 00:01:12,093 Synced and corrected by backinblack www.addic7ed.com 32 00:01:13,688 --> 00:01:15,819 Thanks for helping me move my stuff, you guys. 33 00:01:15,996 --> 00:01:18,892 ♪ Lots of hairy boxes God, I've fallen. ♪ 34 00:01:18,926 --> 00:01:21,261 Almost below you now, Nick. 35 00:01:21,295 --> 00:01:24,164 Fellow passengers, stuck in the caboose of life. 36 00:01:24,198 --> 00:01:26,299 You think I'm in the caboose of life? 37 00:01:26,334 --> 00:01:27,901 You love it in the caboose, not me. 38 00:01:27,935 --> 00:01:30,136 It hurts. It's actually quite jarring. 39 00:01:30,171 --> 00:01:32,172 ♪ Loves it in the caboose 40 00:01:32,206 --> 00:01:34,074 - I don't love it in the caboose. - ♪ Yes, he does. 41 00:01:34,108 --> 00:01:35,909 Uh, hi. Are you guys open? 42 00:01:35,943 --> 00:01:37,310 Oh, this actually... It's not a store. 43 00:01:37,345 --> 00:01:38,611 Oh. That's too bad. 44 00:01:38,646 --> 00:01:40,480 - I really like that lamp. - You like... 45 00:01:40,514 --> 00:01:42,515 You like the lamp? I'm sorry. You know what, it just... 46 00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:44,784 It's just that... It doesn't... It doesn't feel like a store yet 47 00:01:44,819 --> 00:01:46,953 - is what I meant to say. - Piano player is a nice touch. 48 00:01:46,988 --> 00:01:49,322 Aw, thank you very much. He's lovely, isn't he? 49 00:01:49,357 --> 00:01:50,924 Pl-please look around. Feel free. 50 00:01:50,958 --> 00:01:53,426 The lamp is 100% full price. 51 00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:55,446 Uh, pretty much everything's 100% full price. 52 00:01:55,611 --> 00:01:58,631 What you're doing is illegal. You can't say this is a store. 53 00:01:58,666 --> 00:02:00,266 I'm not taking advice from you. You pronounce 54 00:02:00,301 --> 00:02:01,368 the "G" in "lasagna." 55 00:02:01,402 --> 00:02:03,336 Lasag-na. 56 00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:08,475 Oh, my God. I think my arm's broken. 57 00:02:08,509 --> 00:02:11,611 I'm gonna sue the crap out of you. 58 00:02:12,847 --> 00:02:15,115 Winston! Quiet. 59 00:02:15,149 --> 00:02:17,283 So, I have Jamal Chambers in my fourth period, 60 00:02:17,318 --> 00:02:19,352 and he cannot stop talking about how fun 61 00:02:19,387 --> 00:02:22,355 and enthusiastic his new volleyball coach was. 62 00:02:22,390 --> 00:02:24,124 You were right. I love this job. 63 00:02:24,158 --> 00:02:25,959 I knew it. I knew you'd love it. 64 00:02:25,993 --> 00:02:27,861 - Hey. - I was looking for you. 65 00:02:27,895 --> 00:02:30,530 You weren't in my car. Internet's down. 66 00:02:30,564 --> 00:02:32,365 Okay, um, well, I rebooted the router. 67 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,701 You're actually on the wrong IP address, so... 68 00:02:34,735 --> 00:02:35,735 There you go. 69 00:02:35,770 --> 00:02:36,764 Ooh. 70 00:02:36,936 --> 00:02:40,006 You know I can see everything that you search for, right? 71 00:02:40,041 --> 00:02:43,143 I'm a biology teacher. It's all research. 72 00:02:43,177 --> 00:02:44,470 Fixing computers and stuff now? 73 00:02:44,651 --> 00:02:46,705 I'm just taking on a little extra responsibility 74 00:02:46,740 --> 00:02:48,715 around here, just getting stuff done that needs doing. 75 00:02:50,584 --> 00:02:53,153 Graffiti's wrong, kids. Don't do it. 76 00:02:53,187 --> 00:02:54,754 I love corn on the cob, too, 77 00:02:54,789 --> 00:02:56,856 but I'm not gonna paint it all over the walls. 78 00:02:56,891 --> 00:02:59,259 I'm just hoping, you know, in a few years 79 00:02:59,293 --> 00:03:00,894 I'll have enough experience that Dr. Foster 80 00:03:00,928 --> 00:03:03,763 will consider me for vice principal. 81 00:03:03,798 --> 00:03:05,324 Why don't you just ask him for it? 82 00:03:05,438 --> 00:03:07,567 You can't just ask for a promotion. You know. 83 00:03:07,601 --> 00:03:11,504 You have to earn the promotion with years of good work. 84 00:03:12,873 --> 00:03:15,208 What's funny? 85 00:03:15,242 --> 00:03:18,244 Uh, how's that working out for you, Jess? 86 00:03:21,649 --> 00:03:23,683 Do you see this volleyball? 87 00:03:23,717 --> 00:03:26,286 It won't get over the net just because you want it to 88 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,421 and you hope someone will notice that you want it to. 89 00:03:28,456 --> 00:03:30,857 - Okay. - I'm gonna ask you one more time: 90 00:03:30,891 --> 00:03:35,361 What... do you... want? 91 00:03:35,396 --> 00:03:37,297 Um, I want to be vice principal. 92 00:03:37,331 --> 00:03:38,731 All right. Then spike that ball, Jess. 93 00:03:38,766 --> 00:03:41,634 Oh, that's not... Okay, um... 94 00:03:41,669 --> 00:03:43,636 - You got to spike! You got to spike! - Is that really... Yeah. Okay. 95 00:03:43,671 --> 00:03:45,479 - No, wait. I'm not very good... - Spike it! 96 00:03:45,519 --> 00:03:47,400 I've just never really been good with athlete balls. 97 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:50,080 - Spike it! What do you want?! - I want to be vice principal. 98 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,557 Spike the ball and tell me what you want! 99 00:03:51,597 --> 00:03:54,038 I want to be the vice principal! 100 00:03:54,073 --> 00:03:56,116 - Yeah! - Yeah! 101 00:03:56,150 --> 00:03:57,750 Oh! Oh... Oh! 102 00:03:57,785 --> 00:03:59,619 Oh... 103 00:03:59,653 --> 00:04:01,121 I will not laugh. 104 00:04:01,155 --> 00:04:03,123 An outrage! Been all over 105 00:04:03,157 --> 00:04:04,958 and I can't afford anybody. Unbelievable. 106 00:04:04,992 --> 00:04:06,659 Access to premium legal counsel should be 107 00:04:06,694 --> 00:04:09,429 every Jew's birthright. And the jury will see 108 00:04:09,463 --> 00:04:11,464 that there is no justice for the Hebrew man. 109 00:04:11,499 --> 00:04:14,100 Not in these so-called United States. 110 00:04:14,135 --> 00:04:15,032 What is that that you're doing? 111 00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,312 I can't get enough of this legal drama. 112 00:04:17,347 --> 00:04:19,339 Check this out. Favorite author, Grisham. 113 00:04:19,373 --> 00:04:20,773 Favorite TV show, Judging Amy. 114 00:04:20,808 --> 00:04:23,743 Favorite color, courtroom brown. 115 00:04:23,777 --> 00:04:26,513 Courtroom Brown. Damn, I wish that was my nickname. 116 00:04:26,547 --> 00:04:27,952 Did you just think of that? 'Cause it was perfect, man. 117 00:04:28,116 --> 00:04:30,617 - Courtroom Brown. - Dude, you're a born Courtroom Brown. 118 00:04:30,651 --> 00:04:32,752 That's me. When you say "Courtroom Brown," I respond. 119 00:04:32,786 --> 00:04:34,387 Hey, Winston. 120 00:04:34,421 --> 00:04:35,622 - Hey, Courtroom Brown. - Yes? 121 00:04:37,191 --> 00:04:39,526 Kill 'em, Courtroom! That's awesome! 122 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:40,960 What am I supposed to do in this situation, 123 00:04:40,995 --> 00:04:42,795 represent myself like some nut job? 124 00:04:42,830 --> 00:04:44,264 Nick could be your lawyer. 125 00:04:44,298 --> 00:04:46,432 This Nick? Vivica A. Dropout? 126 00:04:46,467 --> 00:04:47,834 First of all, I don't want to be involved, 127 00:04:47,868 --> 00:04:50,003 but thank you, Courtroom Brown. 128 00:04:50,037 --> 00:04:51,771 And second of all, I passed the bar, which means 129 00:04:51,805 --> 00:04:53,939 I can practice in the state of California. 130 00:04:53,979 --> 00:04:56,376 Oh, Nick, you would be the worst in the whole entire world. 131 00:04:56,410 --> 00:04:57,644 No offense. I love you, dawg. 132 00:04:57,678 --> 00:04:59,612 I could be your lawyer easy. 133 00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:02,348 You don't forget how to be a lawyer. It's like riding a bike. 134 00:05:03,584 --> 00:05:06,719 They've changed these! 135 00:05:06,754 --> 00:05:08,221 Fine. I forgot how to ride a bike. 136 00:05:08,255 --> 00:05:10,390 But I'm not gonna forget how to be a lawyer. 137 00:05:10,424 --> 00:05:13,359 I guess I have no choice. You can be my lawyer, Nick. 138 00:05:13,394 --> 00:05:14,589 - I won't do it. - What? 139 00:05:14,703 --> 00:05:16,329 I value myself too great for that. 140 00:05:16,363 --> 00:05:17,630 If you want me to be your lawyer, 141 00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:20,033 if you want to win this case, you must start 142 00:05:20,067 --> 00:05:21,668 with the word "please." 143 00:05:21,702 --> 00:05:24,037 And I'll need a symbolic five-dollar retainer. 144 00:05:24,071 --> 00:05:25,305 Four dollars. 145 00:05:25,339 --> 00:05:27,473 Skin it. Let's do it. Hooah. 146 00:05:27,508 --> 00:05:30,543 Dr. Foster, I am young, I'm energetic 147 00:05:30,578 --> 00:05:33,980 and I think it's about time you take advantage of me! 148 00:05:34,014 --> 00:05:37,217 Well, this is... a little awkward. 149 00:05:37,251 --> 00:05:40,420 I'm, uh... I'm exclusively into Asian women. 150 00:05:40,454 --> 00:05:42,488 It's really a Kristi Yamaguchi thing. 151 00:05:42,523 --> 00:05:44,991 - After Lillehammer... - I really meant professionally. 152 00:05:45,025 --> 00:05:46,697 I want you to take advantage of me like that. 153 00:05:46,852 --> 00:05:48,385 - Sorry. - It's a professional thing. 154 00:05:48,547 --> 00:05:50,730 - Okay. Sorry. - I want to be vice principal. 155 00:05:50,764 --> 00:05:53,600 Frank retired, you need someone. I deserve it. 156 00:05:53,634 --> 00:05:55,735 I bust my ass for this school. 157 00:05:55,769 --> 00:05:58,037 You've got it. The job is yours. 158 00:05:58,072 --> 00:05:59,839 - It is? - Oh, my God, are you kidding? 159 00:05:59,873 --> 00:06:02,175 I thought I was gonna have to force somebody into it. 160 00:06:02,209 --> 00:06:04,043 This is so much easier. 161 00:06:04,078 --> 00:06:05,245 - Really? - Go ahead. 162 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:09,082 Be vice principal. 163 00:06:09,116 --> 00:06:10,950 - I can't believe this. - In fact, I think 164 00:06:10,985 --> 00:06:12,252 you should start right now. 165 00:06:12,286 --> 00:06:14,654 You will not be sorry, sir. 166 00:06:15,990 --> 00:06:17,223 Did you? 167 00:06:17,258 --> 00:06:19,292 - I got the job! Yeah! - Oh! 168 00:06:19,326 --> 00:06:20,927 - I spiked the ball. - Time to celebrate. 169 00:06:20,961 --> 00:06:22,262 No! No! I'm not doing that! 170 00:06:22,296 --> 00:06:24,030 - No! - We got to celebrate! Celebrate! 171 00:06:24,064 --> 00:06:26,299 Let me pour it on your face and your clothes and your hair! 172 00:06:30,270 --> 00:06:32,138 Yeah. Uh... looks standard. 173 00:06:32,172 --> 00:06:33,939 Yeah. 174 00:06:33,974 --> 00:06:36,342 You're definitely being sued. 175 00:06:36,376 --> 00:06:38,611 Uh, your deposition is tomorrow. 176 00:06:38,645 --> 00:06:40,279 What-what do we do now? Do we prep for the plaintiff? 177 00:06:40,314 --> 00:06:41,614 I don't like prepping. It makes me feel nervous. 178 00:06:41,648 --> 00:06:43,416 I feel boxed in. And I'm very quick 179 00:06:43,450 --> 00:06:46,485 - on my, uh... - Sure. 180 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,688 Did you just forget the word "feet"? 181 00:06:48,722 --> 00:06:50,856 Feet. Yeah. Nick, you should really prep. 182 00:06:50,891 --> 00:06:53,192 Fair enough. Winston, you're my plaintiff. 183 00:06:53,226 --> 00:06:55,127 Done deal. Okay. 184 00:06:55,162 --> 00:06:58,130 Hi, my name is Tim Baker. 185 00:06:58,165 --> 00:07:01,801 I live at 522 Dugan Court Terrace. 186 00:07:01,835 --> 00:07:04,470 Okay, Mr. Baker, how long have you been a chef? 187 00:07:04,504 --> 00:07:05,838 I don't have to answer that. 188 00:07:05,872 --> 00:07:07,340 You actually do though, Winston. 189 00:07:08,141 --> 00:07:09,475 Doesn't he? 190 00:07:10,677 --> 00:07:12,812 You ask... Why you asking me, man? 191 00:07:12,846 --> 00:07:14,050 - No, I'm not. I'm... Yeah. - You're the lawyer. 192 00:07:14,090 --> 00:07:16,615 No, I know. You have to answer. How long you been a chef? 193 00:07:16,650 --> 00:07:18,351 I already answered that during background. 194 00:07:18,385 --> 00:07:20,619 What in the hell? You did background without me? 195 00:07:20,654 --> 00:07:22,655 Why wasn't I invited for background? 196 00:07:22,689 --> 00:07:24,490 You have to answer it! How long you been a chef?! 197 00:07:24,524 --> 00:07:25,558 You're fired! 198 00:07:27,427 --> 00:07:31,097 Give me another chance. 199 00:07:31,131 --> 00:07:33,866 No! 200 00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:36,736 Okay, here's something. Get on a plane with me. 201 00:07:36,770 --> 00:07:39,238 While you think about it, put this on my card. 202 00:07:39,272 --> 00:07:41,707 It's the black one. 203 00:07:45,479 --> 00:07:47,146 Wow. That just happened. 204 00:07:47,180 --> 00:07:49,415 You think maybe we should take his card 205 00:07:49,449 --> 00:07:50,916 and buy him a new shirt? 206 00:07:50,951 --> 00:07:52,551 I'm scared he'd want 207 00:07:52,586 --> 00:07:54,186 to change it in front of us. 208 00:07:55,222 --> 00:07:56,088 I'm Cece. 209 00:07:56,123 --> 00:07:57,656 Hi, Cece. I'm Buster. 210 00:07:57,691 --> 00:07:59,225 I really hope that's a nickname. 211 00:07:59,259 --> 00:08:00,393 No, it's not a nickname. 212 00:08:00,427 --> 00:08:01,494 It's your real name? 213 00:08:01,528 --> 00:08:02,862 I was bullied pretty bad. 214 00:08:02,896 --> 00:08:04,029 Hi, Buster. 215 00:08:04,064 --> 00:08:04,976 All right, hold on. 216 00:08:05,162 --> 00:08:07,700 - I've got quite an eye for young boys. - Oh, God. 217 00:08:07,734 --> 00:08:09,702 That's right, I said it. It's not a typo. 218 00:08:09,736 --> 00:08:10,870 Let's see some I.D. 219 00:08:12,205 --> 00:08:13,172 God, you're handsome. 220 00:08:13,206 --> 00:08:14,707 I'm sorry. 221 00:08:14,741 --> 00:08:16,041 Wyoming! 222 00:08:16,076 --> 00:08:16,942 - Look at that. - Mm-hmm. 223 00:08:16,977 --> 00:08:18,377 Wyoming. So you're one 224 00:08:18,412 --> 00:08:21,013 - of the three people from Wyoming. - Yeah. 225 00:08:21,047 --> 00:08:24,850 Cowboy state, big sky country, home of the Liberty Bell. 226 00:08:24,885 --> 00:08:27,219 Bull... snatch. 227 00:08:27,254 --> 00:08:28,754 That's an awful accent. 228 00:08:28,789 --> 00:08:29,955 What is your real accent? 229 00:08:29,990 --> 00:08:31,524 Are you Australian or from Heaven? 230 00:08:31,558 --> 00:08:32,992 How old are you, for real? 231 00:08:33,026 --> 00:08:35,027 - Leave him alone. - Don't bull-snatch a bull-snatcher. 232 00:08:35,061 --> 00:08:37,296 Leave him alone. You're over 21, right? 233 00:08:38,498 --> 00:08:39,532 I'm not. 234 00:08:39,566 --> 00:08:41,734 Um... I'm 20. 235 00:08:41,768 --> 00:08:44,236 Get out of here, you delicious bastard. 236 00:08:44,271 --> 00:08:46,539 - Can I get my I.D. back? - No, of course not, you can't. 237 00:08:46,573 --> 00:08:48,808 It'd be against the law, you... wonderful creature. 238 00:08:48,842 --> 00:08:50,209 Nice to meet you, Cece. 239 00:08:50,243 --> 00:08:52,311 Good God, you look nice. 240 00:08:52,345 --> 00:08:54,547 Nothing irks me like underage drinking. 241 00:08:54,581 --> 00:08:56,916 It's stupid, it's dangerous, it's irresponsible. 242 00:08:56,950 --> 00:09:00,586 God, I want to have sex with that kid so bad, it's freaking me out! 243 00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,188 Oh. I'm real tingly. 244 00:09:03,723 --> 00:09:05,991 We have talk about the budget. 245 00:09:06,026 --> 00:09:08,294 There's a problem with the budget? But it's due Monday. 246 00:09:08,328 --> 00:09:10,296 - Yeah. - Do we have too much money? 247 00:09:10,330 --> 00:09:12,331 - No. - We need to fire people. 248 00:09:12,365 --> 00:09:15,601 - What? - And when I say "we," I mean you. 249 00:09:15,635 --> 00:09:17,603 Start with the most recent hires. 250 00:09:17,637 --> 00:09:20,473 Well, we have, um... Janet from the history department. 251 00:09:20,507 --> 00:09:22,508 Human garbage. 252 00:09:22,542 --> 00:09:23,843 Okay. 253 00:09:23,877 --> 00:09:25,077 Ernie, uh... 254 00:09:25,111 --> 00:09:26,078 Ah, yeah. 255 00:09:26,112 --> 00:09:27,179 No. That's Coach. 256 00:09:27,214 --> 00:09:28,814 No. No. No. 257 00:09:28,849 --> 00:09:30,538 No, he's very good at his job. 258 00:09:30,696 --> 00:09:33,519 Last one in, first one out. You know how this works. 259 00:09:33,553 --> 00:09:35,754 - That's just wrong. - This is the job, Ms. Day. 260 00:09:35,789 --> 00:09:38,457 He's my friend. I can't. No. I'm not doing it. I'm not firing Coach. 261 00:09:38,492 --> 00:09:40,259 This is the job, Ms. Day. 262 00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:42,461 Do you want it or not? 263 00:09:46,466 --> 00:09:47,466 I'm what? 264 00:09:47,501 --> 00:09:48,934 We had to do budget cuts, 265 00:09:48,969 --> 00:09:50,603 and we have to let two people go, 266 00:09:50,637 --> 00:09:53,105 and you're my friend, and I couldn't stop it. 267 00:09:53,139 --> 00:09:54,206 I'm so sorry. 268 00:09:59,379 --> 00:10:01,013 We all pitched in. 269 00:10:01,047 --> 00:10:02,748 Thanks, guys, 270 00:10:02,782 --> 00:10:06,285 I'm not coach anymore. I'm just Coach. 271 00:10:06,319 --> 00:10:08,921 - What? - What? 272 00:10:25,455 --> 00:10:26,697 Morning, Winston. 273 00:10:31,069 --> 00:10:32,870 Are you not talking to me? 274 00:10:32,904 --> 00:10:37,208 Look, I had to fire Coach for my job. 275 00:10:37,242 --> 00:10:38,909 I didn't want to. 276 00:10:38,944 --> 00:10:41,379 Don't squint at me. 277 00:10:41,413 --> 00:10:43,314 Don't do that. 278 00:10:43,348 --> 00:10:46,083 I did it for my job. It wasn't my choice. 279 00:10:46,118 --> 00:10:48,486 - Hey, Nick, what's up, man? - What's up, Winnie? 280 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:50,955 - Hey, Nick. - Hey. 281 00:10:50,989 --> 00:10:52,990 - Can we talk for a second? - Can I talk to you? 282 00:10:53,025 --> 00:10:55,426 Schmidt fired me, and now I'll never get to use 283 00:10:55,460 --> 00:10:57,795 this briefcase I just bought, and it was $19! 284 00:10:57,829 --> 00:10:59,563 - I think my thing is a little bit more... - Do you think 285 00:10:59,598 --> 00:11:01,565 I'm sexier when I hold it or when it's down? 286 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,834 'Cause I think it's kind of sexier when I hold it, like this. 287 00:11:03,869 --> 00:11:06,771 - Not really. - Do I look like a man of power? 288 00:11:06,805 --> 00:11:08,472 Imagine this: It's, like, a rainy day, 289 00:11:08,507 --> 00:11:10,241 I'm on the streets of New York, 290 00:11:10,275 --> 00:11:13,744 Hey! Stop that cab! 291 00:11:13,779 --> 00:11:16,647 I'm a businessman. I'm late to an important meeting. 292 00:11:16,682 --> 00:11:18,939 I honestly feel like I would've been so good at this. 293 00:11:19,125 --> 00:11:21,452 You don't want to be a lawyer. Why do you care whether 294 00:11:21,486 --> 00:11:22,586 - Schmidt fired you or not? - I spent 295 00:11:22,621 --> 00:11:24,455 all those years at law school 296 00:11:24,489 --> 00:11:26,057 with those preppy dicks... 297 00:11:26,091 --> 00:11:28,236 and I never got to prove them wrong, Jess. 298 00:11:28,286 --> 00:11:30,161 Okay, go after what you want. 299 00:11:30,195 --> 00:11:31,829 Just make sure that 300 00:11:31,863 --> 00:11:33,464 what you want... 301 00:11:33,498 --> 00:11:36,701 doesn't make you a cog on the wheel 302 00:11:36,735 --> 00:11:39,603 - of a larger, flawed system. - Stop it. 303 00:11:39,638 --> 00:11:41,138 Shut your mouth. 304 00:11:41,173 --> 00:11:42,740 'Cause what you're saying is beautiful. 305 00:11:42,774 --> 00:11:45,376 I'm gonna go put on my power suit. 306 00:11:45,410 --> 00:11:47,044 High and loud, girl. Whoo! 307 00:11:47,079 --> 00:11:48,179 Um... 308 00:11:48,213 --> 00:11:49,180 Good talk, Nick. 309 00:11:49,214 --> 00:11:50,614 With this thing, I feel so sexy, 310 00:11:50,649 --> 00:11:52,383 It's disgusting. 311 00:11:52,417 --> 00:11:53,884 - I think you misunderstood... - Whoo! 312 00:11:57,055 --> 00:11:59,390 - Your representation running late? - Uh, no. 313 00:11:59,424 --> 00:12:00,975 Actually, I'll be representing myself today. 314 00:12:01,158 --> 00:12:01,969 Sorry we're late. 315 00:12:02,260 --> 00:12:04,395 - What? - This building is a total mess. 316 00:12:04,429 --> 00:12:06,630 Nick Miller of, uh, Cooper, Bishop and Furguson. 317 00:12:06,665 --> 00:12:10,067 As you know, my boss and senior partner, Mr. Winston Furguson. 318 00:12:10,102 --> 00:12:11,235 Gentlemen, pleased to be with you. Please, please 319 00:12:11,269 --> 00:12:13,204 don't get up, don't get up. 320 00:12:13,238 --> 00:12:14,338 I-I insist. 321 00:12:14,373 --> 00:12:17,241 Madam Secretary. 322 00:12:17,275 --> 00:12:19,043 - What are you doing here? - I'm representing you. 323 00:12:19,077 --> 00:12:20,678 - Everything all right? - I'm a bit caught off guard. 324 00:12:20,712 --> 00:12:22,213 I wasn't expecting these two 325 00:12:22,247 --> 00:12:23,814 very real lawyers to show up today. 326 00:12:23,849 --> 00:12:25,549 Well, we wanted to let you know that 327 00:12:25,584 --> 00:12:27,885 the entire firm is standing behind you. Besides, 328 00:12:27,919 --> 00:12:30,054 whether I sit in my office or in here... 329 00:12:30,088 --> 00:12:32,690 it's all billable. Am I right, gentlemen? 330 00:12:34,059 --> 00:12:37,261 Shall we get into this, or just take our pants off? 331 00:12:39,865 --> 00:12:41,732 Ask him a question. 332 00:12:41,767 --> 00:12:43,634 - Let me... Let me do my thing. - Do your thing. 333 00:12:43,668 --> 00:12:45,102 Mr. Baker. 334 00:12:45,137 --> 00:12:46,370 Yes? 335 00:12:49,408 --> 00:12:51,542 What's your home address? 336 00:12:51,576 --> 00:12:53,544 522 Dugan Court Terrace. 337 00:12:53,578 --> 00:12:54,779 Okay. 338 00:12:56,715 --> 00:12:59,183 Uh, no... no further questions. 339 00:12:59,217 --> 00:13:00,918 What? 340 00:13:02,721 --> 00:13:04,088 - Keep going. - Ow! 341 00:13:04,122 --> 00:13:05,856 Just keep going. What are you... 342 00:13:05,891 --> 00:13:07,625 Don't hit me. What are you hitting me for? 343 00:13:07,659 --> 00:13:09,960 - Is everything all right? - Sure it is. The meter's running. 344 00:13:13,598 --> 00:13:15,966 Even though you don't work at Coolidge anymore, 345 00:13:16,001 --> 00:13:18,369 you'll still be Coach Coach to those kids. 346 00:13:18,403 --> 00:13:19,904 It's Coach Coach. 347 00:13:19,938 --> 00:13:21,405 Yeah, Coach Coach. 348 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,207 - Coach Coach. - Coach Coa... 349 00:13:23,241 --> 00:13:24,608 - Coach Coach. - I'm sorry. 350 00:13:24,643 --> 00:13:26,210 It's all good, Jess. 351 00:13:26,244 --> 00:13:28,546 You did what you had to do. 352 00:13:28,580 --> 00:13:30,648 I'm proud of you for that, okay? 353 00:13:30,682 --> 00:13:33,651 - Yeah. - I hope I'm the first of many you fire. 354 00:13:33,685 --> 00:13:34,985 That really means a lot to me. 355 00:13:36,252 --> 00:13:37,388 I am gonna miss those kids, though. 356 00:13:37,422 --> 00:13:39,223 - Yeah. - That's what I'm gonna miss. 357 00:13:39,257 --> 00:13:40,891 Those little... those little bastards. 358 00:13:40,926 --> 00:13:42,426 Little Ronnie. 359 00:13:42,461 --> 00:13:44,728 Ronnie's so clumsy and slow. 360 00:13:44,763 --> 00:13:46,797 - Yeah. - Thomas. 361 00:13:46,832 --> 00:13:50,034 I mean, he's strong, but that boy is a classic middle child. 362 00:13:50,068 --> 00:13:53,304 He's just looking for love, up, back and sideways. 363 00:13:54,639 --> 00:13:57,441 And Maurice. 364 00:13:59,030 --> 00:14:01,278 He always makes a mess whenever he eats a Popsicle. 365 00:14:01,313 --> 00:14:02,646 It's, like, dude, 366 00:14:02,681 --> 00:14:04,348 stop sucking your Popsicle like that, man. 367 00:14:04,382 --> 00:14:06,250 You're never gonna get a girlfriend like that. 368 00:14:07,786 --> 00:14:09,086 And then there's Hunter. 369 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:10,354 God... 370 00:14:10,388 --> 00:14:13,424 Fat... cross-eyed... 371 00:14:13,458 --> 00:14:15,159 clod-hopping Hunter. 372 00:14:15,193 --> 00:14:17,495 Hunter is the sweetest little idiot 373 00:14:17,529 --> 00:14:19,096 there ever was. 374 00:14:19,130 --> 00:14:21,332 He's so sweet! 375 00:14:21,366 --> 00:14:23,167 He's so sweet! 376 00:14:23,201 --> 00:14:25,503 Ahh... 377 00:14:26,638 --> 00:14:28,172 Screw this! 378 00:14:28,206 --> 00:14:31,108 Because... you told me... 379 00:14:31,142 --> 00:14:34,678 to go after what I wanted, and this is not what I wanted. 380 00:14:34,713 --> 00:14:37,047 Let's go! We're gonna get you to that game! 381 00:14:37,082 --> 00:14:38,315 It's okay. They're playing Pasadena. 382 00:14:38,350 --> 00:14:40,718 They don't stand a chance. 383 00:14:40,752 --> 00:14:42,152 Pasadena has a bunch of bitch-ass tricks. 384 00:14:42,187 --> 00:14:43,521 Weren't raised right. 385 00:14:43,555 --> 00:14:46,690 Hey, what do you want? 386 00:14:46,725 --> 00:14:48,993 I don't know. I want to be there. 387 00:14:49,027 --> 00:14:52,530 So, spike that ball! 388 00:14:52,564 --> 00:14:56,133 That was not a ball. That was beer. 389 00:14:56,167 --> 00:14:57,935 I know. I feel really bad about it. 390 00:14:57,969 --> 00:14:59,737 - You know what? Don't feel bad! - Let's go! 391 00:14:59,771 --> 00:15:01,805 - Let's go! - You got me all fired up! 392 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:03,440 I think you're gonna have to drive. 393 00:15:06,141 --> 00:15:07,707 Mr. Miller: "Were you or were you not 394 00:15:07,742 --> 00:15:09,109 wearing oversized shoes in the store?" 395 00:15:09,143 --> 00:15:12,012 Mr. Baker: "I was not. I told you that." 396 00:15:12,046 --> 00:15:14,648 Mr Miller: "But are you sure?" Mr. Schmidt: "Shut up, Nick." 397 00:15:14,682 --> 00:15:16,650 Mr. Miller: "Let me do this. Ow. Stop it." 398 00:15:16,684 --> 00:15:18,985 Mr. Schmidt: "Stop what? You're hitting yourself." 399 00:15:19,020 --> 00:15:21,187 Mr. Miller: "You're a child." 400 00:15:21,222 --> 00:15:23,690 Mr. Schmidt: "A child would be a better lawyer." 401 00:15:23,724 --> 00:15:26,159 Mr. Furguson: "Children are our future." 402 00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:27,994 Mr. Berklan: "So true." 403 00:15:28,029 --> 00:15:29,596 Mr. Miller: "I need to regroup. 404 00:15:29,630 --> 00:15:31,097 I'm gonna stall a little bit. Watch this. 405 00:15:31,132 --> 00:15:33,500 Could the lady typer read that back?" 406 00:15:33,534 --> 00:15:34,901 All right, all right, we've had enough. 407 00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:36,770 My client is graciously willing 408 00:15:36,804 --> 00:15:38,872 to settle for $20,000. 409 00:15:38,906 --> 00:15:41,274 As an actual real attorney, 410 00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:42,709 I highly suggest you take the deal. 411 00:15:42,743 --> 00:15:45,445 - Great. We'll do... - Not a chance. 412 00:15:45,479 --> 00:15:46,446 There's not a chance. 413 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:47,547 Sidebar. Come on, Schmidt. 414 00:15:47,581 --> 00:15:48,782 - Hurry up. - Just... 415 00:15:49,984 --> 00:15:52,152 You are not taking that settlement. 416 00:15:52,186 --> 00:15:53,687 Well, Nick, at least if it's $20,000, 417 00:15:53,721 --> 00:15:55,588 I can get out of that hole some day. 418 00:15:55,623 --> 00:15:58,058 I've got a plan. You just have to give me a chance. 419 00:15:59,627 --> 00:16:01,061 Can you believe in me? 420 00:16:01,095 --> 00:16:03,296 All right, I believe in you. Deal. 421 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,365 - Deal. - What's the plan? 422 00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:07,300 Oh, I'm not telling you. You're gonna get too mad. Let's go. 423 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,602 Nick, I take it back! I don't... I don't believe in you! 424 00:16:11,472 --> 00:16:12,972 Here. 425 00:16:15,776 --> 00:16:17,243 How long is this game? 426 00:16:17,278 --> 00:16:19,512 Go get 'em, Coach. 427 00:16:19,547 --> 00:16:22,649 All right, listen up, you no-talent, 428 00:16:22,683 --> 00:16:24,451 idiot babies! 429 00:16:24,485 --> 00:16:27,053 Give me that. Give me that. Give me that. Give me that. 430 00:16:27,088 --> 00:16:28,388 Oh, thank God. 431 00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:29,956 Bring it in. 432 00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:31,291 Come on. 433 00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:33,560 All right, now, 434 00:16:33,594 --> 00:16:35,662 who is gonna win this match?! 435 00:16:35,696 --> 00:16:36,996 Coolidge! 436 00:16:37,031 --> 00:16:38,064 Who's number one? 437 00:16:38,099 --> 00:16:39,666 Coolidge! 438 00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:40,800 Let me hear it! Who are we? 439 00:16:40,835 --> 00:16:42,402 - Coolidge! - Rakim! 440 00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:44,270 Really, Rakim? Like I just walked you 441 00:16:44,305 --> 00:16:46,639 right up to it, and you're gonna... We're gonna talk. 442 00:16:46,674 --> 00:16:48,908 - Coolidge! - Too late, man. It's too late. 443 00:16:48,943 --> 00:16:51,077 All right, guys, get out there and make me proud! 444 00:16:53,147 --> 00:16:54,781 - Ms. Day? - What? 445 00:16:54,815 --> 00:16:57,584 What is going on? I thought you fired Coach. 446 00:16:57,618 --> 00:17:00,153 Look, Coach loves the kids, and the kids love him. 447 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:02,489 I want this job, but I'm not going to do it your way. 448 00:17:02,523 --> 00:17:04,858 I'm not going to let our best people go. 449 00:17:04,892 --> 00:17:08,461 You were the one who told me, we have no money. 450 00:17:08,496 --> 00:17:10,830 Yeah, but we can make it up in other ways, we can be creative. 451 00:17:10,865 --> 00:17:12,766 We can rent out the multipurpose room 452 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:14,701 after school to local clubs. 453 00:17:14,735 --> 00:17:16,503 And where will the orchestra practice? 454 00:17:16,537 --> 00:17:18,705 Did you ever consider that, Ms. Day? 455 00:17:18,739 --> 00:17:21,523 Or were you too busy buying a ladies bike? 456 00:17:22,077 --> 00:17:23,643 - What? - They can use the library. 457 00:17:23,677 --> 00:17:25,378 No one goes in there anyway. 458 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:26,813 Yeah, let's burn the books! 459 00:17:26,847 --> 00:17:29,649 Except for The Da Vinci Code. 460 00:17:29,683 --> 00:17:32,552 Well, that took a weird turn, but... 461 00:17:32,586 --> 00:17:34,788 Thank you, Susan. That-that's so nice. 462 00:17:34,822 --> 00:17:36,823 What a great solution. 463 00:17:36,857 --> 00:17:38,792 Come on! Let's do it! 464 00:17:38,826 --> 00:17:41,728 Oh! Hunter, you animal! 465 00:17:44,031 --> 00:17:46,699 Yeah! Hit the robot. 466 00:17:46,734 --> 00:17:48,334 Uh, uh, yeah, hit it. 467 00:17:48,369 --> 00:17:52,839 I guess we can figure out some way to keep him here. 468 00:17:52,873 --> 00:17:55,175 God, you frost my cookies. 469 00:17:55,209 --> 00:17:56,843 Thank you. 470 00:17:56,877 --> 00:17:58,278 Way! Uh! 471 00:17:58,312 --> 00:17:59,712 Wait, what am I... Get... get back out there. 472 00:17:59,747 --> 00:18:01,681 We got... We still have a game to play. 473 00:18:01,715 --> 00:18:02,515 Hey, Coach, guess what? 474 00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:04,083 - Ball! Oh. - Oh. 475 00:18:04,118 --> 00:18:05,485 It's okay. 476 00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:07,687 Don't laugh, guys. 477 00:18:07,721 --> 00:18:10,990 - Did you see that hit her face? - I'm okay. I'm gonna sit down. 478 00:18:12,927 --> 00:18:14,727 So, are you gonna sit, or...? 479 00:18:14,762 --> 00:18:16,329 No, I'm gonna stand. 480 00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:17,764 'Cause isn't that what we are doing? 481 00:18:17,798 --> 00:18:19,399 Standing... for the little guy? 482 00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:20,400 What is the plan? 483 00:18:20,434 --> 00:18:22,402 Injustice! 484 00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:23,770 I will not stand for it. 485 00:18:23,804 --> 00:18:25,438 That is why I will sit right now. 486 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,440 I will sit down 487 00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:29,609 in this chair... 488 00:18:31,078 --> 00:18:34,414 You're negligent! Aah! 489 00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:38,952 Get off me! My neck! My neck! 490 00:18:38,986 --> 00:18:41,521 Seriously? The fall-down on the chair bit? 491 00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:43,189 - Is this your first case? - Yes, it is. 492 00:18:43,224 --> 00:18:46,292 And that is why I'll file petition on petition. 493 00:18:46,327 --> 00:18:47,927 You're gonna wake up in the morning to paperwork. 494 00:18:47,962 --> 00:18:51,097 You're gonna go to bed at night to paperwork. 495 00:18:52,032 --> 00:18:53,600 So how about this, gentlemen? 496 00:18:53,634 --> 00:18:57,604 You pay the $20,000 settlement to your client yourself, 497 00:18:57,638 --> 00:19:00,306 and you'll never see our faces again. 498 00:19:00,341 --> 00:19:01,774 What do you call a lunatic 499 00:19:01,809 --> 00:19:05,278 who's only got one case and no hobbies? 500 00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,313 Your worst nightmare. 501 00:19:07,348 --> 00:19:09,983 Let's go, guys. 502 00:19:11,252 --> 00:19:13,887 Listen, Bill, 503 00:19:13,921 --> 00:19:15,655 if you ever want to play with the big boys, 504 00:19:15,689 --> 00:19:18,958 you'll give me a ring, won't you? 505 00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:23,763 This is a baseball card. 506 00:19:23,797 --> 00:19:26,266 Yeah. 507 00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:27,300 All right! 508 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,168 - All right. You did it. - I did it. 509 00:19:29,203 --> 00:19:30,270 - Salud. - Cheers! 510 00:19:31,983 --> 00:19:33,067 - Oh! - Oh! 511 00:19:33,107 --> 00:19:33,852 Another round of shots. 512 00:19:34,034 --> 00:19:35,842 - On the house! - You don't get to say that, Winnie. 513 00:19:35,876 --> 00:19:37,076 You know that, right? Okay. 514 00:19:37,111 --> 00:19:39,078 Oh, I knew you'd come back for me. 515 00:19:39,113 --> 00:19:42,148 So what do you want to do now? You want to just drive? 516 00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:43,850 Oh, no. Mike! 517 00:19:43,884 --> 00:19:45,351 - What? - Ple... I got it. 518 00:19:45,386 --> 00:19:46,686 Thank you. 519 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,655 Hey, what you doing here? 520 00:19:48,689 --> 00:19:50,189 - I just wanted to come and say... - Mm-hmm. 521 00:19:50,224 --> 00:19:51,524 First things first. 522 00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,359 The legal drinking age in Australia is 18. 523 00:19:53,394 --> 00:19:55,495 Second, you're really beautiful. 524 00:19:55,529 --> 00:19:56,996 Like, you're really beautiful. 525 00:19:57,031 --> 00:19:59,098 Like, I want to take you out some time. 526 00:19:59,133 --> 00:20:01,834 But because I'm 20 and already at a bit of a disadvantage, 527 00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:03,870 I thought I'd come and do some uncharacteristic 528 00:20:03,904 --> 00:20:05,672 self-promotion to help the cause? 529 00:20:05,706 --> 00:20:07,140 - Okay. - And let you know that 530 00:20:07,174 --> 00:20:08,875 well, I just opened my own business. 531 00:20:08,909 --> 00:20:11,010 I build boats. 532 00:20:11,045 --> 00:20:13,046 Uh, wooden boats with my hands. 533 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,815 - Mm-hmm. - Um, old ladies love me. 534 00:20:15,849 --> 00:20:17,317 They call me sensitive. 535 00:20:17,351 --> 00:20:18,651 And I'm a really good cook. 536 00:20:18,686 --> 00:20:20,720 But I know three dishes, 537 00:20:20,754 --> 00:20:22,416 and two of those dishes are the same thing. 538 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:26,326 Yeah, that's about it, so, what do you think? 539 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:27,794 Do you want to get a drink? 540 00:20:27,828 --> 00:20:29,529 Like a soft drink with you? 541 00:20:29,563 --> 00:20:31,364 - Soft drink, a walk. - Can you have a coffee? 542 00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:32,999 - Yeah, I love coffee. - Mm-hmm. 543 00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:36,636 It's one of the three meals that I know how I make. 544 00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:39,238 All right. 545 00:20:39,273 --> 00:20:41,007 - Oh, do it! - Well, done, sir! 546 00:20:41,041 --> 00:20:42,542 - Oh! - Oh, yeah. 547 00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:43,743 Or you know what? We could 548 00:20:43,777 --> 00:20:45,712 actually... we could probably just go now. 549 00:20:45,746 --> 00:20:47,847 I'd like to comb your hair, you hunk. 550 00:20:47,881 --> 00:20:49,182 I don't know who they are. They just come in here, 551 00:20:49,216 --> 00:20:50,883 and they drink, and make a lot of noise 552 00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:52,185 and talk about things they don't know about! 553 00:20:52,219 --> 00:20:53,586 Hey, Mike, I'm gonna take a break. Um... 554 00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:55,355 I don't know when I'll be back. I'll just meet you out front. 555 00:20:56,757 --> 00:20:57,890 Stop what you're doing. 556 00:20:57,925 --> 00:21:00,426 There's a lawyer here to make... 557 00:21:00,461 --> 00:21:01,828 Jessica? 558 00:21:01,862 --> 00:21:03,863 Jessica, I won the case. 559 00:21:05,399 --> 00:21:09,769 If you woke up right now, we could be making love. 560 00:21:09,803 --> 00:21:11,571 Jessica? 561 00:21:11,605 --> 00:21:14,207 Power couple. 562 00:21:30,401 --> 00:21:33,624 Synced and corrected by backinblack www.addic7ed.com