1
00:00:01,965 --> 00:00:03,281
We're all adults.
2
00:00:03,469 --> 00:00:06,155
What's the harm?
We can do this with dignity,
3
00:00:06,332 --> 00:00:09,130
self-restraint, and dare I say...
4
00:00:09,321 --> 00:00:11,670
- honour.
- The game is True American.
5
00:00:11,710 --> 00:00:13,339
One, two, three, four...
JFK!
6
00:00:13,615 --> 00:00:14,609
FDR!
7
00:00:15,764 --> 00:00:17,379
***
8
00:00:17,529 --> 00:00:20,584
***
9
00:00:22,001 --> 00:00:22,934
Sorry.
10
00:00:24,570 --> 00:00:26,237
Welcome to Ellis Island, folks.
11
00:00:26,272 --> 00:00:27,372
- You're a Bill,
- Ah!
12
00:00:27,406 --> 00:00:29,340
You're a George,
13
00:00:29,375 --> 00:00:31,109
- you're a Bill.
- Ah.
14
00:00:31,143 --> 00:00:32,911
You're Greek. Get out of here!
15
00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:34,078
What? Why am I Greek?
16
00:00:34,113 --> 00:00:35,179
You're a Greek.
Get out of here!
17
00:00:35,214 --> 00:00:36,381
- Get out of here.
- And you...
18
00:00:36,415 --> 00:00:39,617
- (moans)
- He's got the plague! Scatter!
19
00:00:39,652 --> 00:00:41,052
Hello!
20
00:00:41,086 --> 00:00:44,756
(all shouting)
21
00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:46,724
Taft just sat on you!
22
00:00:49,795 --> 00:00:52,230
My name is Eli Whitney,
and I created the cotton gin.
23
00:00:52,264 --> 00:00:55,567
Gin! Gin! Gin! Gin! Gin! Gin!
Gin! Gin! Gin! Gin! Gin!
24
00:00:55,601 --> 00:00:57,502
- Gin! Gin! Gin!
- (Gags)
25
00:00:59,772 --> 00:01:01,773
(snoring)
26
00:01:01,807 --> 00:01:04,209
Oh, God.
27
00:01:04,243 --> 00:01:06,444
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
28
00:01:06,478 --> 00:01:08,126
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ It's Jess. ♪
29
00:01:08,295 --> 00:01:12,819
Synced and corrected by backinblack
www.addic7ed.com
30
00:01:13,586 --> 00:01:17,088
- (groans) Son of a...
- (Moans)
31
00:01:17,122 --> 00:01:19,624
(slurred):
Jessica, did we die?
32
00:01:19,658 --> 00:01:22,493
No. Alive.
33
00:01:22,528 --> 00:01:23,294
Shh...
34
00:01:23,329 --> 00:01:25,330
Turkey bacon.
35
00:01:25,364 --> 00:01:27,765
- Mm.
- That's nice.
36
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,168
- (slurred): That's ni, Nick.
- That's ni.
37
00:01:30,202 --> 00:01:33,137
- Get sleep.
- (Moans)
38
00:01:33,172 --> 00:01:36,107
- (speaking incoherently)
- Yeah.
39
00:01:36,141 --> 00:01:37,909
(smacking lips) Help me up.
40
00:01:37,943 --> 00:01:40,745
I'm trying.
41
00:01:40,779 --> 00:01:44,449
You're...
(mumbling)
42
00:01:44,483 --> 00:01:46,518
You drink some water.
43
00:01:46,552 --> 00:01:50,154
Aw, son of a bitch,
the water fell on the ground.
44
00:01:50,189 --> 00:01:52,257
(groans)
Here. Here you go.
45
00:01:52,291 --> 00:01:55,527
Drink the water. That's good.
46
00:01:55,561 --> 00:01:57,128
(sucking)
47
00:01:57,162 --> 00:01:58,463
(phone ringing) Oh, no.
48
00:01:58,497 --> 00:01:59,631
- No.
- Oh, make it stop.
49
00:01:59,665 --> 00:02:01,833
- Jessica, make it stop.
- No!
50
00:02:01,867 --> 00:02:03,701
(groans)
51
00:02:03,736 --> 00:02:05,537
Oh.
(moans)
52
00:02:05,571 --> 00:02:07,939
Hello.
53
00:02:07,973 --> 00:02:10,175
Jess, where are you?
It's Jacob's first birthday.
54
00:02:10,209 --> 00:02:11,676
You're his godmother, I need you here.
55
00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:14,112
Sir, hi. Who are you?
56
00:02:14,146 --> 00:02:16,414
This is a private residence.
57
00:02:16,448 --> 00:02:18,349
I'll be right there.
58
00:02:18,384 --> 00:02:20,985
(groans, exhales)
59
00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:23,888
(hoarsely):
Hey, Nick. It's me, Jess.
60
00:02:23,923 --> 00:02:25,456
I have really bad news.
61
00:02:25,491 --> 00:02:28,459
We have to go to
a one-year-old's birthday party.
62
00:02:28,494 --> 00:02:30,528
I'm not interested
in that birthday party.
63
00:02:30,563 --> 00:02:32,197
Thank you for the invitation.
64
00:02:32,231 --> 00:02:33,865
Good night.
(groans)
65
00:02:33,899 --> 00:02:35,867
(groans) I'm so hungover.
66
00:02:35,901 --> 00:02:38,036
- Why today?
- What?
67
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:39,470
You think it went bad?
68
00:02:39,505 --> 00:02:41,973
We're your new neighbors.
69
00:02:44,009 --> 00:02:48,813
Um, I think y-your bagel
fell out of your mouth.
70
00:02:48,848 --> 00:02:51,349
I'm Jewish.
71
00:02:51,383 --> 00:02:54,419
Why didn't you guys tell me I was
still wearing ladies' sunglasses?
72
00:02:54,453 --> 00:02:57,422
I look like Magic Johnson's son, EJ.
73
00:02:57,456 --> 00:02:58,790
Hey, you guys, I got a problem.
74
00:02:58,824 --> 00:03:01,025
You know that guy that I'm dating?
75
00:03:01,060 --> 00:03:02,694
Buster, your child bride?
76
00:03:02,728 --> 00:03:04,262
He's 20, okay?
Not that it matters.
77
00:03:04,296 --> 00:03:06,431
- Is he smooth all over?
- Does he take baths in the sink?
78
00:03:06,465 --> 00:03:09,067
I sent him a bunch
of drunk texts last night.
79
00:03:09,101 --> 00:03:11,002
- What?
- Mmm.
80
00:03:11,036 --> 00:03:12,370
(sighs) Oh, dear Lord.
81
00:03:12,404 --> 00:03:15,206
- I know.
- "I miss the way that your hands smell"?
82
00:03:15,241 --> 00:03:17,175
Did you write an entire
Jewel song in here?
83
00:03:17,209 --> 00:03:18,243
Is it from Pieces of You?
84
00:03:18,277 --> 00:03:20,044
You want to buy a rabbit with him?
85
00:03:20,079 --> 00:03:21,112
This isn't a text message,
86
00:03:21,147 --> 00:03:22,714
it's a freaking Russian novel.
87
00:03:22,748 --> 00:03:24,282
Okay, well, you know what, what do I do?
88
00:03:24,651 --> 00:03:27,252
Text him one of the little yellow men.
The-the emoticons.
89
00:03:27,286 --> 00:03:30,388
You know, with the...
with the fa... with the faces.
90
00:03:30,422 --> 00:03:32,357
I hate all of you.
91
00:03:32,391 --> 00:03:34,626
Okay, so we really
tanked it with those babes.
92
00:03:34,660 --> 00:03:35,460
Look, we need to orchestrate
93
00:03:35,494 --> 00:03:36,895
a situation which allows us
94
00:03:36,929 --> 00:03:38,530
to put our best foot forward.
95
00:03:38,564 --> 00:03:39,697
- That's easy. We help 'em move.
- Winston,
96
00:03:39,732 --> 00:03:42,033
Winston... shh.
97
00:03:42,067 --> 00:03:43,902
Why? It makes perfect sense.
98
00:03:43,936 --> 00:03:46,304
Helping a girl move makes you come off
as a doormat, you know what I mean?
99
00:03:46,338 --> 00:03:47,705
Honey, honey, honey, just...
100
00:03:47,740 --> 00:03:49,307
listen to Coach.
101
00:03:49,341 --> 00:03:50,608
Baby, look,
102
00:03:50,643 --> 00:03:52,477
let us handle this,
okay? You go help Cece
103
00:03:52,511 --> 00:03:53,645
with the text messages.
104
00:03:53,679 --> 00:03:55,046
- You know, maybe I will.
- Okay.
105
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,482
But only because I really do
enjoy helping people.
106
00:03:57,516 --> 00:03:59,484
You're gonna be great, buddy.
107
00:03:59,518 --> 00:04:01,820
You're gonna do good things, man.
108
00:04:01,854 --> 00:04:03,254
You think we were too harsh on him?
109
00:04:03,289 --> 00:04:04,322
He makes you. He does.
110
00:04:04,356 --> 00:04:06,191
Don't blame yourself.
111
00:04:06,225 --> 00:04:08,326
(groans)
112
00:04:09,762 --> 00:04:12,564
How the hell did this happen?
(Jess groans)
113
00:04:12,598 --> 00:04:14,632
I found some things and I put them on.
114
00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:17,602
- (groans) Throw this on.
- Mm.
115
00:04:17,636 --> 00:04:19,804
- Okay. That'll do it.
- Cover up the tops.
116
00:04:21,340 --> 00:04:22,340
You look great.
117
00:04:22,374 --> 00:04:25,076
- (crying)
- No.
118
00:04:25,111 --> 00:04:28,079
- I couldn't have done it without you.
- No, you're...
119
00:04:28,114 --> 00:04:30,081
you're getting emotional. You do
this when you're hungover,
120
00:04:30,116 --> 00:04:31,549
but I'm gonna need you to stay focused
121
00:04:31,584 --> 00:04:32,984
so we can get to that party.
122
00:04:33,018 --> 00:04:35,320
- Yeah. We just need the gift.
- Yeah.
123
00:04:35,354 --> 00:04:36,254
I got the gift.
124
00:04:36,288 --> 00:04:37,355
All right.
125
00:04:39,458 --> 00:04:40,859
Why is it in the box?
It's supposed to be out
126
00:04:40,893 --> 00:04:42,627
of the box, assembled.
127
00:04:42,661 --> 00:04:44,262
I said I would put it together
before the party,
128
00:04:44,296 --> 00:04:45,830
and it's before the party.
So what's the problem?
129
00:04:45,865 --> 00:04:47,298
Just give me
130
00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:48,700
five minutes.
131
00:04:48,734 --> 00:04:50,401
(pieces clatter)
132
00:04:50,436 --> 00:04:53,304
Ten minutes, tops.
133
00:04:53,339 --> 00:04:56,307
But I got this thing.
134
00:04:56,342 --> 00:04:57,842
This is it.
135
00:04:57,877 --> 00:05:00,845
Christmas morning.
136
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:04,616
Our little guy waiting by the fireplace,
137
00:05:04,650 --> 00:05:06,384
but there's no gift.
138
00:05:06,419 --> 00:05:08,887
'Cause Daddy's in the other room
putting it together.
139
00:05:08,921 --> 00:05:11,356
Did you say "our" kid?
140
00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:13,792
Yeah, sometimes I think about
what our kid would be like.
141
00:05:13,826 --> 00:05:15,560
(sniffles) Don't you?
142
00:05:15,594 --> 00:05:17,292
Yeah.
143
00:05:17,296 --> 00:05:18,360
You don't think about the future?
144
00:05:18,460 --> 00:05:20,865
Can we not talk about this
right now? Six hours ago,
145
00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:23,301
I was lapping cognac out
of Winston's hands.
146
00:05:23,335 --> 00:05:25,270
Drink it up, Checkers.
Forget what you saw.
147
00:05:25,304 --> 00:05:28,339
Never talk about anything serious
when you're hungover, Jess.
148
00:05:28,374 --> 00:05:29,974
I don't even really think
about it that much.
149
00:05:30,009 --> 00:05:32,310
I just think about, you know,
passing things. Just...
150
00:05:32,344 --> 00:05:35,547
Nothing specific.
We live in a house by a lake.
151
00:05:35,581 --> 00:05:36,915
- That sounds pretty specific.
- We live in a town
152
00:05:36,949 --> 00:05:38,750
with a sense of history
but not so much history
153
00:05:38,784 --> 00:05:41,052
that the locals are suspicious
of new people.
154
00:05:41,087 --> 00:05:42,887
Two small children
155
00:05:42,922 --> 00:05:46,024
who are so incredibly creative
they named themselves.
156
00:05:46,058 --> 00:05:48,026
We don't need to discipline the
kids 'cause they're so afraid
157
00:05:48,060 --> 00:05:49,561
of disappointing us.
158
00:05:49,595 --> 00:05:51,496
Our house smells like cider.
159
00:05:51,530 --> 00:05:52,831
And if there's a horse out back,
160
00:05:52,865 --> 00:05:55,366
you're not gonna get any guff from me.
161
00:05:55,401 --> 00:05:58,770
Anyway, that's where I'm at.
(scoffs)
162
00:05:58,804 --> 00:06:00,605
What are you...
what are you thinking?
163
00:06:00,639 --> 00:06:02,373
What, um...
164
00:06:02,408 --> 00:06:04,709
Where do you picture us?
165
00:06:04,744 --> 00:06:07,112
Where do you...
Nick.
166
00:06:07,146 --> 00:06:09,647
Nick.
167
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,593
Mmm, mmm. Oh, God.
168
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,495
I still feel like crap.
169
00:06:18,529 --> 00:06:19,996
Guys, will you, um,
look at this follow-up text
170
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:21,531
that I'm sending to Buster?
171
00:06:21,566 --> 00:06:24,000
- It's for the little boy?
- Try to be helpful, okay?
172
00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:26,636
- What are we looking at here?
- Are those nursing cats?
173
00:06:26,671 --> 00:06:28,105
Winston said it was funny.
174
00:06:28,139 --> 00:06:29,473
- It's not. It's incoherent.
- No.
175
00:06:29,507 --> 00:06:31,274
It's borderline pornographic.
(sighs)
176
00:06:31,309 --> 00:06:33,443
Wait, those are not cats.
That's a human man!
177
00:06:33,478 --> 00:06:35,178
What is he suck...
What is he sucking on?
178
00:06:35,213 --> 00:06:38,115
- What Web sites are you going to?
- What are you guys doing out here?
179
00:06:38,149 --> 00:06:39,850
Obviously we're creating
an accidental bump-in
180
00:06:39,884 --> 00:06:42,185
with our hot new neighbors.
Elevator's on the move.
181
00:06:42,220 --> 00:06:44,054
You got to go. You're too hot.
You'll confuse them.
182
00:06:44,088 --> 00:06:45,055
(groans)
183
00:06:45,089 --> 00:06:46,556
(elevator dings)
184
00:06:46,591 --> 00:06:48,558
Yes, well, of course.
It's my garden party,
185
00:06:48,593 --> 00:06:50,794
and Zachary Quinto is not on the list.
186
00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:53,163
Um, you sure
you can handle that, Winston?
187
00:06:53,197 --> 00:06:54,831
- I'm fine. I'm fine.
- Ooh. Are you sure?
188
00:06:54,866 --> 00:06:56,199
Winston: I'm fine. I'm fine.
189
00:06:56,234 --> 00:06:58,468
To the right a little bit.
Up right.
190
00:06:58,503 --> 00:07:00,404
- Son of a bitch.
- Okay. Thank you so much.
191
00:07:00,438 --> 00:07:03,407
We'll get you some nice cold
lemonade after this, okay?
192
00:07:03,441 --> 00:07:04,441
Ooh, be careful.
193
00:07:04,475 --> 00:07:06,376
Oh! Good Lord.
194
00:07:06,411 --> 00:07:08,412
You know what, we don't have
to talk about the future.
195
00:07:08,446 --> 00:07:11,048
- Let's just put this toy together.
- I want to talk about the future.
196
00:07:11,082 --> 00:07:13,417
- Okay. Great. All right.
- I would love to talk about it. Yes, great.
197
00:07:13,451 --> 00:07:15,819
I always thought it would be
cool to be a long-haul trucker.
198
00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:18,255
You want to be a long-haul
trucker with a family?
199
00:07:18,289 --> 00:07:21,091
No, the family would be
in Montana. Or-or Mars Landing,
200
00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:23,293
you know, if the government
finally steps up.
201
00:07:23,327 --> 00:07:25,729
Where is Mars Landing?
202
00:07:25,763 --> 00:07:27,431
Where is Mars Landing?
It's on M... It's on Mars.
203
00:07:27,465 --> 00:07:29,666
It's the American capital of Mars.
204
00:07:29,701 --> 00:07:32,235
And if you don't think
there's gonna be space travel
205
00:07:32,270 --> 00:07:34,171
in the next 20 years,
then you've got your head
206
00:07:34,205 --> 00:07:36,039
buried in sand, girlie.
207
00:07:36,074 --> 00:07:37,774
It's already basically happening.
208
00:07:37,809 --> 00:07:39,876
I always thought
I'd move back to Portland.
209
00:07:39,911 --> 00:07:41,345
Oh. Portland, Earth?
210
00:07:41,379 --> 00:07:43,080
It's like friendly San Francisco.
211
00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:45,215
Slow food, fast bicycles,
212
00:07:45,249 --> 00:07:46,450
great schools...
213
00:07:46,484 --> 00:07:47,851
Education is very important to me.
214
00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:49,086
That makes me happy.
215
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,420
It's something we agree on.
216
00:07:50,455 --> 00:07:53,023
- I really want my kids to beg for it.
- What?
217
00:07:53,057 --> 00:07:54,524
'Cause if you force a kid into
school, he's gonna hate it.
218
00:07:54,559 --> 00:07:55,325
Oh, no.
219
00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:56,760
If you make a kid work
220
00:07:56,794 --> 00:07:58,628
and sit in the yard and grind and grind
221
00:07:58,663 --> 00:07:59,463
- and grind...
- What?
222
00:07:59,497 --> 00:08:02,132
Eventually, that little kid
is gonna beg for education.
223
00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,400
Then you hand it to them
224
00:08:03,434 --> 00:08:05,569
- like the gift that it should be.
- No!
225
00:08:05,603 --> 00:08:07,104
That's why public school's a joke.
226
00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:08,638
I'm so hungover
227
00:08:08,673 --> 00:08:10,374
and my body's shutting down
228
00:08:10,408 --> 00:08:13,243
and nothing you're saying
makes any sense.
229
00:08:13,277 --> 00:08:14,244
There is something serious
I have to tell you
230
00:08:14,278 --> 00:08:15,345
about the future.
231
00:08:16,414 --> 00:08:19,116
The name of my firstborn child
232
00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:21,151
has to be Reginald VelJohnson.
233
00:08:21,185 --> 00:08:22,753
I lost a bet to Schmidt.
234
00:08:22,787 --> 00:08:24,254
Reginald VelJohnson?
235
00:08:24,288 --> 00:08:26,456
That is non-negotiable.
Unfortunately.
236
00:08:26,491 --> 00:08:27,991
The dad from Family Matters?
237
00:08:28,026 --> 00:08:29,326
Well, the actor who plays the dad.
238
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:30,594
The dad is Carl Winslow.
239
00:08:30,628 --> 00:08:31,995
What was the bet on?
240
00:08:32,030 --> 00:08:33,430
I said I could flip a big pancake...
241
00:08:33,464 --> 00:08:35,132
(laughing):
...and I couldn't.
242
00:08:38,136 --> 00:08:40,270
(muffled):
How is this going to work?!
243
00:08:40,304 --> 00:08:41,705
The only upside is
244
00:08:41,739 --> 00:08:45,108
the original name was gonna be Ass Baby,
245
00:08:45,143 --> 00:08:47,811
and I kind of talked my way
out of that one.
246
00:08:47,845 --> 00:08:49,680
All of the guys in this building
are so sweet.
247
00:08:49,714 --> 00:08:50,981
- It's no problem, yeah.
- Couldn't be easier, really.
248
00:08:51,015 --> 00:08:52,349
Just a p...
piece of cake.
249
00:08:52,383 --> 00:08:54,785
Coach: We love it.
250
00:08:54,819 --> 00:08:55,933
You know, it was my idea to help move.
251
00:08:56,093 --> 00:08:58,155
The only reason we're doing this
is because you forced us to.
252
00:08:58,189 --> 00:08:59,456
If we don't help now, we'll look bad.
253
00:08:59,490 --> 00:09:00,957
Yeah, now they're gonna think of us
254
00:09:00,992 --> 00:09:02,793
as "nice" and "helpful."
Nightmare.
255
00:09:03,628 --> 00:09:04,461
Hey.
256
00:09:04,495 --> 00:09:05,529
Hey.
257
00:09:05,563 --> 00:09:06,496
Coach: Oh, cool!
258
00:09:06,531 --> 00:09:08,398
Uh... your brother?
259
00:09:08,433 --> 00:09:09,499
Actually, it's my boyfriend.
260
00:09:09,534 --> 00:09:12,469
Yet he's not here to help you move.
261
00:09:12,503 --> 00:09:14,338
- He's out of the country.
- Oh!
262
00:09:14,372 --> 00:09:15,806
Afghanistan.
Second tour.
263
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,374
- Ah...
- Oh...
264
00:09:17,408 --> 00:09:18,542
Please thank him for,
265
00:09:18,576 --> 00:09:20,043
- uh, for his service.
- Yeah.
266
00:09:20,078 --> 00:09:21,678
Are you and your boyfriend
267
00:09:21,713 --> 00:09:23,714
and Michelle and her boyfriend
gonna go on a, like,
268
00:09:23,748 --> 00:09:25,048
double date kind of thing
269
00:09:25,083 --> 00:09:26,450
whenever he gets back from Afghanistan?
270
00:09:26,484 --> 00:09:27,951
She doesn't have a boyfriend.
271
00:09:27,986 --> 00:09:29,686
She's not really the relationship type.
272
00:09:29,721 --> 00:09:30,821
- Oh.
- Okay.
273
00:09:30,855 --> 00:09:32,522
I'm just having fun right now.
274
00:09:32,557 --> 00:09:34,424
I feel you. No, I feel you.
(laughs)
275
00:09:34,459 --> 00:09:35,959
Girl, I want to feel you...
276
00:09:35,994 --> 00:09:37,194
And then there was one.
277
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:39,062
May the best man win.
278
00:09:39,097 --> 00:09:40,330
- I am also involved in this.
- Winston, get out of here.
279
00:09:40,365 --> 00:09:41,898
What is your problem?
280
00:09:41,933 --> 00:09:43,533
And then there were three guys...
281
00:09:43,568 --> 00:09:44,901
Jess: Here's what I'm saying:
282
00:09:44,936 --> 00:09:48,905
Reginald is way too shy
to beg for an education.
283
00:09:48,940 --> 00:09:51,341
He's very sensitive,
and when he's out on the horse,
284
00:09:51,376 --> 00:09:53,043
all he's doing is staring at leaves
285
00:09:53,077 --> 00:09:54,478
and writing poems about them.
286
00:09:54,512 --> 00:09:56,179
Why do I have a horse?
You know how many
287
00:09:56,214 --> 00:09:58,048
people are killed on a horse every year?
288
00:09:58,082 --> 00:09:59,916
Hey! You're not listening
to what I'm saying.
289
00:09:59,951 --> 00:10:01,551
What I'm saying is,
290
00:10:01,586 --> 00:10:05,088
I'm not gonna take Reginald
out on the damn lake
291
00:10:05,123 --> 00:10:07,557
when you're out on your space truck...
292
00:10:07,592 --> 00:10:09,493
- We're not living by the lake.
- (Exasperated sigh)
293
00:10:09,527 --> 00:10:11,161
Why would I spend my hard-earned
294
00:10:11,195 --> 00:10:12,863
truck driver money on an Earth house?
295
00:10:12,897 --> 00:10:14,665
- You make up so much science fiction...
- Science...
296
00:10:14,699 --> 00:10:16,900
...but you know
nothing about science.
297
00:10:16,935 --> 00:10:18,402
- Do you know what science is?
- Okay, science is more of a belief
298
00:10:18,436 --> 00:10:20,504
- than anything else.
- No. Do you know what science is?
299
00:10:20,538 --> 00:10:22,105
- Yes. What you believe in.
- Have you ever taken a science class?
300
00:10:22,140 --> 00:10:23,707
I've taught two at a community college.
301
00:10:23,741 --> 00:10:26,109
When did you teach science
at a community college?
302
00:10:26,144 --> 00:10:28,378
I made that up. I didn't think
you were gonna fact-check me.
303
00:10:28,413 --> 00:10:29,713
My kids are not gonna
304
00:10:29,747 --> 00:10:31,281
beg for an education, okay?
305
00:10:31,316 --> 00:10:32,783
They're gonna be forced to go to school
306
00:10:32,817 --> 00:10:34,217
just like everybody else
307
00:10:34,252 --> 00:10:35,852
and they're gonna hate it!
308
00:10:35,887 --> 00:10:38,288
Can I actually be very real
with you for a second?
309
00:10:38,323 --> 00:10:39,957
- Yes.
- Here's what I really believe:
310
00:10:39,991 --> 00:10:43,026
You can create a plan for your life,
311
00:10:43,061 --> 00:10:45,595
and then crazy things get thrown at you,
312
00:10:45,630 --> 00:10:48,498
and that, by the way,
is the closest thing
313
00:10:48,533 --> 00:10:50,300
that I have to a plan.
314
00:10:50,335 --> 00:10:52,235
So maybe it's crazy to talk about being
315
00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:54,104
an intergalactic truck driver.
316
00:10:54,138 --> 00:10:55,339
But what I think is crazier
317
00:10:55,373 --> 00:10:56,907
is trying to plan
318
00:10:56,941 --> 00:10:58,609
every single detail of our future.
319
00:10:58,643 --> 00:11:00,811
I think it's crazy not to.
I just can't
320
00:11:00,845 --> 00:11:02,813
- live that way.
- I guess we just disagree.
321
00:11:02,847 --> 00:11:05,215
Well, we never agree
on anything, ever, Nick.
322
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,383
Why are we doing this
right now, Jess? We're hungover.
323
00:11:07,535 --> 00:11:10,087
Just because I want to know
we're going in the same direction,
324
00:11:10,121 --> 00:11:11,588
- that we're on the same page.
- Yes, we are.
325
00:11:11,623 --> 00:11:13,957
Well, we live on different planets!
326
00:11:13,992 --> 00:11:15,859
Oh... You're talking
about the fake future!
327
00:11:18,863 --> 00:11:20,197
I just...
328
00:11:21,299 --> 00:11:23,100
I guess we want different things.
329
00:11:23,134 --> 00:11:24,268
Clearly, we do.
330
00:11:24,302 --> 00:11:25,302
- Clearly, we do.
- All right,
331
00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:26,303
so what are you saying?
332
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:27,337
Should we just break up?
333
00:11:37,962 --> 00:11:39,730
(both laughing)
334
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:42,567
Yeah, right.
Like we're just
335
00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:44,035
- gonna break up!
- Just break up!
336
00:11:44,069 --> 00:11:45,236
Over what?
337
00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:46,804
You don't like lakes,
338
00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:47,972
I don't like space.
That's okay!
339
00:11:48,006 --> 00:11:49,607
This is not why people break up!
340
00:11:49,641 --> 00:11:51,609
I break up with thee, sir!
341
00:11:51,643 --> 00:11:52,844
(bad Australian accent):
I break up...
342
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,011
I don't do voices.
343
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,847
- I think I'm still drunk.
- (Laughs)
344
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,014
Let's just get to the party.
345
00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:58,249
- Build this toy and go.
- Yeah.
346
00:11:58,283 --> 00:11:59,484
Let's do it.
We are
347
00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:00,785
an unstoppable toy-building team!
348
00:12:00,819 --> 00:12:02,386
Yes, we are.
349
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,021
Yeah.
350
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:05,323
All right, well, first hurdle:
351
00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:06,791
The instructions
are written upside-down.
352
00:12:06,825 --> 00:12:09,293
Ah, it's a false alarm.
353
00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:10,795
Okay, hit me.
What do you got?
354
00:12:10,829 --> 00:12:12,530
Okay, take the thing
355
00:12:12,564 --> 00:12:14,365
- that looks like a meth lab
- This thing?
356
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,800
...and put it in the thing
357
00:12:15,834 --> 00:12:17,034
that looks like a pipe bomb.
358
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:18,970
- Oh, hey!
- Hey!
359
00:12:19,004 --> 00:12:20,972
Now we're cooking with gas.
360
00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:22,640
- We're a good team.
- I agree.
361
00:12:22,674 --> 00:12:23,641
You know what, Jess...
and if you want to move
362
00:12:23,675 --> 00:12:24,909
to Portland in the future,
363
00:12:24,943 --> 00:12:26,244
then we're gonna move to Portland.
364
00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:27,712
You know, we'll live by the lake.
365
00:12:27,746 --> 00:12:29,047
I'll learn to fish,
366
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,148
and me and Reginald will start
367
00:12:30,182 --> 00:12:32,083
a newsletter, you know...
368
00:12:32,117 --> 00:12:33,551
"Lake Father, Lake Son."
369
00:12:33,585 --> 00:12:34,819
And you know what?
370
00:12:34,853 --> 00:12:36,220
If you want to be
a long-haul trucker,
371
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,089
I can deal with that
for six months, tops.
372
00:12:38,123 --> 00:12:39,857
- Yes!
- Um, this piece is a little sticky,
373
00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:41,659
- but I think I can just jam it.
- Ah!
374
00:12:41,693 --> 00:12:43,428
- What did you just do, Jess?
- Oh. Well, I put
375
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,229
the swastika in the guillotine.
376
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,231
How is this a children's toy?
377
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:49,600
Why is it so brittle?
378
00:12:49,635 --> 00:12:51,002
What is that?
379
00:12:51,036 --> 00:12:52,870
I'm not sure what I've been doing.
380
00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:54,539
(sighs) Hey, Michelle.
381
00:12:54,573 --> 00:12:55,773
Hey.
382
00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:57,842
You guys are lifesavers.
383
00:12:57,876 --> 00:12:59,077
You have beautiful taste, by the way.
384
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,344
Really. Is this early Californian?
385
00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:02,080
You know, this color, actually,
386
00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:03,548
it symbolizes a woman's fertility.
387
00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:05,917
Huh. I was pregnant once.
388
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,552
Cool.
389
00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:08,853
- What-what do you know?
- Yeah.
390
00:13:08,887 --> 00:13:09,921
- Thank you, guys.
- No, thank you.
391
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,522
- So much.
- You bet.
392
00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:13,791
- All right. Talk to you la...
- You see her blink at me?
393
00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:14,792
Wait, you think that was a sex blink?
394
00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:16,027
That wasn't a sex blink.
395
00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:17,362
That was definitely a sex blink, dude.
396
00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:19,297
You would not know a sex blink
if it blinked you in the sex.
397
00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:21,032
- What?
- It's over already, man.
398
00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:22,533
You don't have a shot.
399
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,203
'Cause the chicks you pull are gremlins.
400
00:13:25,237 --> 00:13:26,771
You did not just talk about my chicks.
401
00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,272
My chicks look great.
402
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:30,174
Just like me.
403
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:31,876
I'm saying my chicks
404
00:13:31,910 --> 00:13:33,745
literally look just like me.
All of 'em.
405
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:34,979
In varying color,
406
00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:36,247
but they look like me.
407
00:13:36,281 --> 00:13:37,515
That is super awkward,
408
00:13:37,549 --> 00:13:39,050
and I don't feel like you know what
409
00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:41,052
- you're saying right now.
- Whoops!
410
00:13:41,086 --> 00:13:42,553
Oh...
Coach!
411
00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:43,788
Oh, man, I can't believe
412
00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:45,123
you just did that to her vase.
413
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:47,825
Whoa! Dude!
414
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:49,093
I will knock you out where you stand,
415
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:50,294
and you...
in the ground.
416
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:51,796
I will pound you from the side!
417
00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:53,498
I will pound you from the back!
That sounded weird.
418
00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:55,133
Once again, Schmidt has found himself
419
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,235
in a position where he is infuriated!
420
00:13:57,269 --> 00:13:58,636
I will fight your face!
421
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,471
I will freak out so hard
422
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,073
on you right now, you don't
even know, on your face.
423
00:14:02,107 --> 00:14:03,274
Winston: What are you two...
424
00:14:03,308 --> 00:14:05,009
Oh, my goodness. Guys!
425
00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:07,445
Her study-abroad mirror?
426
00:14:07,479 --> 00:14:08,913
Her dream vase?
427
00:14:08,947 --> 00:14:10,348
Come on, guys.
428
00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:11,983
(huffs)
429
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,918
Have some self-respect.
430
00:14:13,952 --> 00:14:15,687
We're...
431
00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:17,155
Nick: Hey, Jess?
432
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:18,823
I don't think that belongs there.
433
00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:20,658
That's why it doesn't fit in.
434
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,494
Well, I don't think this
water bottle goes here, either.
435
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,962
But you put it there.
436
00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:26,597
Well, why did we take
the toy out of the box?
437
00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:28,199
We could have just given
the box to the kid.
438
00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:30,201
What does he know?
He's one.
439
00:14:30,235 --> 00:14:31,856
He eats pennies.
And he poos in his pants.
440
00:14:31,956 --> 00:14:34,202
Because not putting
the toy together is lazy.
441
00:14:34,237 --> 00:14:36,674
- So, if we can't put the toy together...
- I-I know, but it's not gonna fit.
442
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:37,703
You can't just keep
pushing it because it...
443
00:14:37,873 --> 00:14:39,138
Oh, God.
444
00:14:39,173 --> 00:14:41,779
- Okay, where's the tape?
- Oh, we used all the tape.
445
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:44,315
- Oh, you used all the tape.
- Yeah, to fix the things that you broke.
446
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:46,684
- You used a lot of duct tape.
- Actually you broke a lot of pieces.
447
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,052
(laughs)
448
00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:49,887
All right, give it to me.
I'm gonna use a lighter.
449
00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:52,490
And I'm gonna melt the plastic.
I'm gonna weld it together.
450
00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:53,891
What? You don't think
that's a good idea?
451
00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:56,361
No, you should, I think
you should try it.
452
00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:58,563
I also like doing Zippo tricks.
453
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:05,180
- Ow! Aah, I burned my finger!
- What happened?! Are you okay?
454
00:15:05,215 --> 00:15:07,138
Yeah, it's fine.
My skin's a little bubbly.
455
00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:08,806
Well, I knew that was a bad idea.
456
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:09,807
Then why didn't you say anything?
457
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:11,142
Why didn't you put the toy together
458
00:15:11,176 --> 00:15:13,478
when I gave it to you two weeks ago?
459
00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:15,046
Because I'm not Santa Claus!
460
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,881
I don't just put toys together
461
00:15:16,915 --> 00:15:18,850
two weeks in advance!
And also,
462
00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:21,653
it's none of my business what
they want to do with the toy.
463
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:23,021
Maybe they want to return it.
464
00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:24,155
Maybe they want to put it
465
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:25,423
together as a family.
466
00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:28,092
That is not my business.
467
00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:29,794
What do you want from me, Jess?
468
00:15:29,828 --> 00:15:31,663
I just want you to take
a little more responsibility.
469
00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:32,997
Just a little bit more.
470
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:34,832
And I want you to have
a little faith in me!
471
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,168
I've gotten this far in my life.
472
00:15:37,202 --> 00:15:38,703
And I'm doing just fine.
473
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:41,906
I mean, for the most part.
474
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:43,207
There's definitely a few
blunders here and there
475
00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:45,009
that we could look past.
476
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,110
Whatever...
477
00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:47,879
The blanket's on fire!
478
00:15:47,913 --> 00:15:49,781
I can see that, Jess.
Go get a bucket.
479
00:15:49,815 --> 00:15:50,882
Where is it? In the kitchen?
480
00:15:50,916 --> 00:15:51,883
No, that's for meat.
481
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:53,017
We need a different bucket.
482
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:54,018
Oh, right!
483
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:55,286
The famous meat bucket!
484
00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:57,021
You said the meat bucket
was a brilliant idea!
485
00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:58,356
Why would I think an unrefrigerated
486
00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:01,459
bucket of meat was a good idea?!
487
00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:04,862
To taste what meat tasted like
before electricity!
488
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:06,364
Why would you want that?!
489
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:07,765
Why did you say it was brilliant!?
490
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,801
Because, Nick...
491
00:16:09,835 --> 00:16:12,670
if I was always honest with you...
492
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,641
then we would never stop fighting.
493
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,577
(smoke alarm beeping)
494
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:20,878
- Let's go!
- We have to go!
495
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:22,380
Wait, my hat!
496
00:16:22,414 --> 00:16:24,916
What?
My hat.
497
00:16:28,463 --> 00:16:30,030
So sorry. I'm sorry.
So sorry. Sorry.
498
00:16:30,064 --> 00:16:31,798
It was uncool.
499
00:16:31,833 --> 00:16:33,033
I'm so sorry!
Do you need...?
500
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:34,534
Here, do you want...? Oh.
501
00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:36,937
- How did this happen?
- It was Winston's fault.
502
00:16:36,971 --> 00:16:38,105
He just ca... he carries
things wrong.
503
00:16:38,139 --> 00:16:40,040
What?!
504
00:16:40,074 --> 00:16:42,776
I have heard just
about enough from you two.
505
00:16:42,810 --> 00:16:43,810
What? Ow!
506
00:16:43,845 --> 00:16:45,479
Schmidt: Winston!
507
00:16:45,513 --> 00:16:47,881
Girls, I know you're both smart enough
508
00:16:47,915 --> 00:16:49,583
to know exactly who broke your things.
509
00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:50,917
It's the same two clowns
510
00:16:50,952 --> 00:16:52,386
who've been trying to sex Michelle
511
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:54,321
every which way from Tuesday.
512
00:16:54,355 --> 00:16:55,689
I mean, I ain't gonna lie.
I've been trying
513
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:57,991
to sex you every which way
from Tuesday myself.
514
00:16:58,026 --> 00:16:59,226
I'd be crazy not to, Michelle.
515
00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:01,161
You're a very beautiful woman.
516
00:17:01,195 --> 00:17:02,796
You have crazy witch eyes, and I dig it.
517
00:17:02,830 --> 00:17:05,098
You're like a witch!
(laughs) You know.
518
00:17:05,133 --> 00:17:06,867
But I'm a good guy.
519
00:17:09,037 --> 00:17:10,470
Now, if you'll excuse me,
520
00:17:10,505 --> 00:17:12,072
I have a job to do.
521
00:17:12,106 --> 00:17:14,474
My name is Winston Bishop.
522
00:17:14,509 --> 00:17:16,476
Welcome to the building.
523
00:17:16,511 --> 00:17:18,945
Whoa, Winston, I would
not... that's a...
524
00:17:18,980 --> 00:17:19,780
- Winston, what are you doing?
- That's a big...
525
00:17:19,814 --> 00:17:20,981
(roars)
526
00:17:21,015 --> 00:17:22,849
- Okay.
- Aah!
527
00:17:22,884 --> 00:17:25,686
- Oh! Whoa!
- Son of a...
528
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,421
Winston, you do know that the
building's on fire, right?
529
00:17:27,455 --> 00:17:29,690
I got this! Move, move!
530
00:17:29,724 --> 00:17:30,957
Buster: Cece, hey.
531
00:17:30,992 --> 00:17:32,459
Oh, hey, um,
532
00:17:32,493 --> 00:17:34,127
I didn't think you would
pick up the phone.
533
00:17:34,162 --> 00:17:35,662
I'll-I'll make this quick.
534
00:17:35,697 --> 00:17:37,097
'Cause I'm sure you hate
talking on the phone.
535
00:17:37,131 --> 00:17:38,865
Oh, I actually do.
536
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:40,467
'Cause I'd much rather,
537
00:17:40,501 --> 00:17:42,102
um, talk in person.
538
00:17:42,136 --> 00:17:44,037
You know? Face to face?
539
00:17:44,072 --> 00:17:46,506
(laughs) What are you doing here?
540
00:17:46,541 --> 00:17:49,209
I just, I was, uh, walking
over here to see you.
541
00:17:49,243 --> 00:17:52,179
- Mm-hmm.
- And then you called me.
542
00:17:52,213 --> 00:17:54,548
Didn't all those texts
really freak you out?
543
00:17:54,582 --> 00:17:56,016
Oh, no, no, no, no.
They freaked me out.
544
00:17:56,050 --> 00:17:57,617
I thought you were gonna murder me.
545
00:17:57,652 --> 00:18:00,487
You know, I called my mother,
changed my locks.
546
00:18:00,521 --> 00:18:02,489
Then I kind of, you know,
had a change of heart,
547
00:18:02,523 --> 00:18:04,491
and I thought, "Well, you
know, I like this girl."
548
00:18:04,525 --> 00:18:06,126
I'd much rather just come
549
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:07,627
and look at you with my eyes.
550
00:18:07,662 --> 00:18:08,962
And talk to you with my face.
551
00:18:08,997 --> 00:18:11,631
If you ever got off the damn phone.
552
00:18:13,368 --> 00:18:15,035
- Yeah.
- Right?
553
00:18:15,069 --> 00:18:17,070
- I, mm-hmm. I understand.
- Hi, Cece. How are you?
554
00:18:17,105 --> 00:18:18,605
- Hungover?
- Yes.
555
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,707
Would you like to come
and get some pancakes?
556
00:18:20,742 --> 00:18:21,875
Yeah, I could, I could
use some pancakes.
557
00:18:21,909 --> 00:18:22,876
It's gonna be a bouncy ride.
558
00:18:22,910 --> 00:18:23,910
My kangaroo's around the corner.
559
00:18:23,945 --> 00:18:25,145
(laughs)
560
00:18:25,179 --> 00:18:27,247
But I did bring an extra
helmet. You're lucky.
561
00:18:27,281 --> 00:18:28,815
(grunts)
562
00:18:28,850 --> 00:18:31,551
All right.
563
00:18:33,087 --> 00:18:35,222
Nick, why is this so hard?
564
00:18:35,256 --> 00:18:37,491
I don't want to fight all the time.
565
00:18:37,525 --> 00:18:39,926
I don't know, and it's awful.
566
00:18:41,696 --> 00:18:44,331
Do you ever miss when
we were just friends, Jess?
567
00:18:44,365 --> 00:18:46,233
And there wasn't this pressure
568
00:18:46,267 --> 00:18:47,234
to be together and to be...
569
00:18:47,268 --> 00:18:48,602
- Be different people?
- Yes.
570
00:18:48,636 --> 00:18:51,004
Be different people.
571
00:18:51,039 --> 00:18:52,539
I'm sorry, but I'm not
that guy who's gonna
572
00:18:52,573 --> 00:18:54,708
put the toy together.
That's just not me.
573
00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:56,310
I'm the kind of guy who's
gonna leave it in the box.
574
00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:57,577
I don't want you to be that guy.
575
00:18:57,612 --> 00:18:59,112
I-I want you to be yourself.
576
00:18:59,147 --> 00:19:01,114
I want you to be yourself.
577
00:19:02,950 --> 00:19:05,686
Are we...?
578
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,121
(laughs): No! I love you!
579
00:19:08,156 --> 00:19:10,457
- Well, I love you, too.
- More than I've ever loved anybody.
580
00:19:10,491 --> 00:19:12,959
But what if that's the only thing
we have in common?
581
00:19:22,337 --> 00:19:24,104
(sniffs)
582
00:19:25,907 --> 00:19:29,076
I miss my friend.
583
00:19:29,110 --> 00:19:31,244
I really miss my friend, too.
584
00:19:33,414 --> 00:19:35,916
So, what does that mean?
585
00:19:35,950 --> 00:19:37,851
Are we...?
586
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:40,153
Yeah.
587
00:19:41,990 --> 00:19:43,924
(quiet laugh)
588
00:19:58,606 --> 00:20:00,841
(quietly): Earn this.
589
00:20:00,875 --> 00:20:02,609
Was that Saving Private Ryan?
590
00:20:02,644 --> 00:20:05,245
It was. It was a hu-huge moment
in that movie.
591
00:20:05,279 --> 00:20:07,447
And I just, I know this is a moment.
592
00:20:07,482 --> 00:20:09,616
(both laugh)
593
00:20:09,651 --> 00:20:12,686
So, um, I'll walk you
to your room then, I guess.
594
00:20:28,703 --> 00:20:31,071
(sniffs)
595
00:20:38,913 --> 00:20:40,180
(sniffs)
596
00:20:58,566 --> 00:21:00,734
- Schmidt is living in my room.
- Schmidt's in your room, yeah.
597
00:21:00,768 --> 00:21:01,735
Yeah.
598
00:21:01,769 --> 00:21:03,837
Do you think I could...?
599
00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,672
- Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's cool.
600
00:21:10,945 --> 00:21:12,012
(door shuts)
601
00:21:13,715 --> 00:21:15,849
Jess?
602
00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:18,552
Jess, you didn't have to run away.
603
00:21:18,586 --> 00:21:20,387
I don't know what you're so afraid of.
604
00:21:20,421 --> 00:21:23,490
It's just a man doing full
downward facing dog in the nude.
605
00:21:23,524 --> 00:21:27,060
It's a couple of testicles
just hanging upside down.
606
00:21:27,095 --> 00:21:28,829
(quiet laugh)
607
00:21:28,863 --> 00:21:31,531
I can hear you laughing in there.
608
00:21:31,566 --> 00:21:34,137
Yeah, you liked it.
609
00:21:34,479 --> 00:21:35,529
You telling Nick about it?
610
00:21:37,111 --> 00:21:38,133
What's he saying?
611
00:21:38,311 --> 00:21:41,536
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