1 00:00:01,601 --> 00:00:02,601 (phone rings) 2 00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:03,935 Hello? 3 00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:06,204 Hello, "dog," it's Principal Foster. 4 00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:08,373 Oh, hey. Did you just call me "dog"? 5 00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:10,375 You're vice principal now. We're peers. 6 00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:11,777 Oh. Good news-- I have 7 00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:13,879 a replacement for your science class. 8 00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,881 It's about time, you old son of a bitch. 9 00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:17,282 What?! 10 00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:19,051 Too casual? Uh, what? 11 00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:20,552 Hello? Sorry, what? You're breaking up. 12 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:21,653 Hello? Dog? 13 00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:22,721 Hello? (staticky): I can't... 14 00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:23,789 ...hear you. Sorry, hello? 15 00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:24,823 Bad reception, sorry. 16 00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:26,658 Hold on. (staticky): ...breaking up... 17 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,560 I'm so sorry. They're building a new building next door 18 00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:30,495 and I have terrible reception. 19 00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:32,798 Hey, no more phone calls! Get out of my room! 20 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,167 It's the only place I can get a signal, dude-- you know that. Out! 21 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:36,635 Look at the stick-- is it red or blue? Uh, yeah... 22 00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,236 Well, sir, I... Get out of my room. 23 00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:40,005 Hello? Hello? Hello? - Hello? Hello... stop. 24 00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:42,574 Is it red or blue? Hey, ow, Schmidt! 25 00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:44,242 The scarf has been backordered a month. Wait, hello? 26 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:45,644 Meanwhile the hat is just sitting here. Yeah, hello. 27 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:46,978 This is not a business center. Hello? 28 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,080 Get out of my room. - Hello? - Hello? 29 00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:49,548 It's my man time. Mama? 30 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,550 Mama, unplug it, okay? SCHMIDT: Hello? Hello. 31 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,219 If you unplug it, it cannot electrocute you. Hello? Hello. 32 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,654 It's blue? Oh, yes! Mr. Foster... 33 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:56,722 No, I don't want blue. Hello, dog. Dog? 34 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:57,889 With a bisque hat? 35 00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:58,924 I'll look insane! 36 00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:00,826 Why do you have an electric guitar? 37 00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:03,228 Aah! - Hello? 38 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:05,397 This phone situation has me really jazzed up! 39 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,765 Excuse my language. 40 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,266 Now, I'm gonna propose something. 41 00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:10,268 Something insane. 42 00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:12,104 Now you just all have to stay calm 43 00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:13,905 and trust me. 44 00:01:15,274 --> 00:01:16,441 Fascinating. 45 00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:17,509 Where do you put your music? 46 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:18,944 Why is there a rope? 47 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,612 (phone rings) (gasps) It's ringing. 48 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,581 Whoa, that's cool. Just like the movies. 49 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,416 We should answer it with, like, really funny voices. 50 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,618 Yeah. We don't know who it is. 51 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,854 It could be anybody. Could be Tanya from sixth grade. 52 00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:30,789 Yeah. (stops ringing) 53 00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:32,591 Oh... - Oh. 54 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,559 Next time it rings, we should answer it. 55 00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:37,562 ¶ Who's that girl? ¶ ¶ Who's that girl? ¶ 56 00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:39,097 ¶ Who's that girl? ¶ 57 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,532 ¶ Who's that girl? ¶ ¶ It's Jess. ¶ 58 00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:44,469 Just can't stop looking at this thing. 59 00:01:44,471 --> 00:01:46,638 Man, I used to be so great at talking on the phone, man. 60 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,073 You know, something about the cord 61 00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:51,143 and the handset that just really set me at ease. 62 00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:52,577 You were weirdly smooth. 63 00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:53,979 If you slow dance with Nick, 64 00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:55,413 I'll hold hands with Amy. 65 00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:57,582 Just make sure she cut her fingernails, though. 66 00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:58,917 Tell her I'll make her a mix tape. 67 00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:00,385 I'm just being stupid. 68 00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:01,920 Tell her I'll make her a mix tape. 69 00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,588 It was going great, by the way. 70 00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:04,756 If this isn't sexy, 71 00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:05,991 I don't know what the heck is. 72 00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:07,759 Something just came over him. 73 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:08,994 He was amazing. 74 00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,495 I'm just excited to add a third number: 75 00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:12,631 Home, work and cell. 76 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,399 Damn, I'm reachable. I'm definitely gonna 77 00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,902 mention that in my profile in Business, Man! magazine. 78 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,738 Businessman magazine? No, no, no. Check that out: Business, Man! magazine. 79 00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,072 I've gotten a lot of heat 80 00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:22,741 from working on the sponge account. 81 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:25,577 I'm telling you, this is the first step in my quest 82 00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:27,579 to becoming a millionaire. Well, I think that's a weird plan, 83 00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,080 but let's drink to it-- who's in? 84 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,582 No, come on, I got to study for my interview. 85 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:33,585 Oh, I would, man, but I got a lot of police stuff to study. 86 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:34,586 You know, like, roads, 87 00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,421 laws, bullets... 88 00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:37,923 Be really nice if you guys spent some time 89 00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:40,926 and studied your friend Nick. Pop quiz, hotshots. 90 00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,928 I miss you guys. I don't understand 91 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,096 what you're saying, man. Are you asking me a question? 92 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:47,766 For real, though, I miss you. So we would just sit around and drink all day? 93 00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,601 Aw, forget it, man! I'm storming off. 94 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,102 (phone rings) 95 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:52,971 Oh! 96 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,874 Good morning, Vice Principal Day speaking. 97 00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,709 What...? Calm down! 98 00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,711 What?! Coach?! 99 00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:01,213 (whispering): Coach... 100 00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:03,215 are you sleeping with the school nurse? 101 00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:04,549 Jess, are you crazy? 102 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:05,717 Of course I'm sleeping with the school nurse. 103 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:07,385 What? - Mazel tov. 104 00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:09,654 My man. Much respect. Look at you getting up in there. 105 00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:11,656 Yeah. Living the dream. Great. 106 00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:13,558 That's really hot, dude. That's really great. For me. 107 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:17,162 We have to fill out a form declaring our relationship? 108 00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:19,064 Yes, it's a legal thing. 109 00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,566 We're just covering our asses. 110 00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:23,301 While you uncover yours. 111 00:03:25,504 --> 00:03:26,638 Sorry, that was an unfortunate joke. 112 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:27,739 (nervous laugh) 113 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:30,342 Um, anyway, uh, how did this start? 114 00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:32,244 Uh, fine. A couple of weeks ago I got a cut. 115 00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,578 Mm-hmm. - And I went to the nurse. 116 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:36,514 Okay. - And when I saw her, I was like, "damn." 117 00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:39,484 And I was, like, "You frickin' got a cut." 118 00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:41,553 And I was like, "You frickin' better fix it." 119 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,488 And she was like, "No. Cuts are gross." 120 00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,490 Yeah. - And then we had sex. 121 00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:46,658 Yeah. 122 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:47,659 That's disturbing 123 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,060 On so many levels. 124 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,595 Um, I'm sorry, but your outfit 125 00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:52,564 looks like you got it at a Halloween store. 126 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,933 Thank you. Coach got it for me. 127 00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:57,602 It's a child's medium. (giggles) 128 00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,504 What'd you put for "nature of relationship"-- "girlfriend"? 129 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,273 Well, that's what I actually wanted to talk to you about. 130 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:03,174 'Cause, uh, we hadn't... - Question mark? 131 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,076 Um, it didn't feel like a question mark when 132 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:08,113 you put a calamari on my finger like an engagement ring. 133 00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,614 That didn't seem like a question mark to you? 134 00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:11,850 It's squid. Jess, someone's in my parking spot again. 135 00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:12,851 Not now, Rose. 136 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,085 Hey, Ernie. 137 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,620 Hey. - Last night was really fun. 138 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:17,756 I found your swim trunks. 139 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,592 They're ruined. Really fun. - Ah, come on. Yeah? 140 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,593 I thought you 141 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,295 ditched this bitch. 142 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:25,263 I will send your weave right back to the loom! 143 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,564 Oh, no, no. - Guys... 144 00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,099 Excuse me? - Oh, yeah! - Ladies, stop. 145 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,467 (both arguing at once) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 146 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:30,602 See what you did? 147 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,038 This is a different form. 148 00:04:35,241 --> 00:04:37,309 (phone ringing) - (groans) 149 00:04:41,647 --> 00:04:42,647 All right. 150 00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:44,549 (ringing continues) Settle down, I'm coming. 151 00:04:46,585 --> 00:04:47,986 Hello? 152 00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,088 No, Schmidt's not here. 153 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:51,923 No one's here. I'm here by myself. 154 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:54,492 Because I work at night, which means I'm probably 155 00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:56,594 the one who should answer the phone during the day. 156 00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:58,663 Great, yeah, I'll tell him. 157 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,868 (groans, sighs) 158 00:05:07,406 --> 00:05:10,208 (phone rings) 159 00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:13,378 (groans) 160 00:05:17,616 --> 00:05:20,418 What? I'm busy. 161 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,487 Winston's not here. 162 00:05:24,423 --> 00:05:25,957 Really? 163 00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,759 Uh-huh. Okay, I'll pass it on. 164 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:28,760 Okay, you too. 165 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,428 My gentlemen, I'm glad 166 00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:31,429 you're home. 167 00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:32,664 I got your messages. 168 00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:37,135 All right, here you go. 169 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,604 Wow. Are these alphabetized? Yeah, you're welcome. 170 00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:41,940 I felt like a secretary. It was pretty awesome. 171 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,775 Some auto body shop called, Schmidt-- 172 00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,543 apparently you're getting a spoiler? 173 00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:46,711 I'm not getting a sp... 174 00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:48,546 I just wanted a quote. Yeah, I get a quote 175 00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,215 just in case I do want to actually buy one. 176 00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:52,384 And it's nice to have a price before 177 00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:55,553 you get emotionally invested. It's called predicting desires. 178 00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:57,722 What I wish I would have said is when I first said it-- 179 00:05:57,724 --> 00:06:00,392 "Spoiler alert." 180 00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:03,495 I wish it... When I... I wish I would have said, um, 181 00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:04,729 "You're getting a spoiler-- spoiler alert." 182 00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:06,498 I don't think that would have helped. 183 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,565 I just... I'm just getting a quote, okay? 184 00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:08,633 It's really none of your business. 185 00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:10,235 Definitely noted. Thanks, my man. 186 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,504 For the... Winston, uh... 187 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:14,005 who's this gal Judy? 188 00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,673 I've never heard of her. She called twice. 189 00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:17,575 Who is this woman? - (chuckles) She's nobody. 190 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:20,345 Doesn't sound like nobody. Where'd you guys meet? 191 00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:21,579 At the driving range. The driving range? 192 00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:24,349 But you don't golf. Uh, I like to watch? 193 00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:27,552 Winston, you go to the driving range just to watch? 194 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,820 Yeah. - Very strange, very strange. 195 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,388 Let's get back to this Judy character, 196 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,724 because I am interested. 197 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,726 You made love to her yet? I don't know. 198 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,928 Leave me alone, dude. Honestly, stop. 199 00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:39,431 That's not even a big d-- I don't even like her that much, all right? 200 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,599 Just, ugh. I'm probably gonna dump her. Do you want to talk about it? 201 00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:44,269 Just kidding. I'm messing with you. 202 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:46,604 Are you guys having as much fun as I'm having right now? 203 00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:49,941 This landline has really brought us together in a great way. 204 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:51,609 I miss this. Hey, if I cooked up 205 00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,678 a whole chicken, would you guys have some? 206 00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:57,749 Those look like two hungry faces-- (chuckles) 207 00:07:00,419 --> 00:07:02,520 Wow. That was intrusive. 208 00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:05,857 Winston, how do you not know if you'd made love to someone? 209 00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,125 I'm mad at you, Jess. 210 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,626 Why'd you put me on blast like that? 211 00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:11,963 Because you shouldn't be sleeping with other teachers, Coach, 212 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,298 let alone two. 213 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,467 Who are you, Blanche from Golden Girls? 214 00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:17,235 Honestly, it took me a while to figure out 215 00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:19,070 who I was in that school, but I finally did. 216 00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:21,573 Who? - I'm the guy who has sex with everyone. 217 00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:23,575 Why can't you be the guy who loves recycling?! 218 00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:27,312 Everyone loves that guy. This is a school. It's a sexy place, Jess. 219 00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:29,747 Look at that CPR poster. It's hot as crap. - What the...? 220 00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:33,585 Why aren't they wearing shirts? Are they drinking wine? 221 00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:34,752 Mm... - That's it! 222 00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:37,589 I'm gonna need to talk to all these teachers. 223 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,924 You're just jealous because you're not gettin' any. 224 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:42,327 (indignant gasp) When's the last time someone gave you CPR? 225 00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,162 Well, I give it to myself at least once a month... 226 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,263 Oh! - to refresh. 227 00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:47,599 I'm talking about real CPR! 228 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,667 Oh. - Look, you work in a school. 229 00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,903 You need to have boundaries. 230 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,239 You have to be a professional. 231 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:55,573 Ah, Miss Day. - Oh. 232 00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:57,242 There's someone here I'd like you to meet. 233 00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:58,476 Oh! - This is Ryan. 234 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,745 He's gonna be taking over the science class. 235 00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,614 Now, don't be alarmed, 236 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,582 but his voice is gonna sound kind of funny. 237 00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:07,085 It's because he's British. 238 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,587 Say something to her. 239 00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:11,923 Hello. Pleased to meet you. 240 00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:14,759 Ah. Oh, charming. Hi. 241 00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:16,794 It's a... How do you do? 242 00:08:16,796 --> 00:08:19,330 You must be, um... Mister... 243 00:08:22,434 --> 00:08:24,769 "Gos... Gosin-yure." 244 00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:26,271 It's pronounced "Goes-in-you." 245 00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:27,772 Goes-in-who? 246 00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:28,773 It "goes in you," Jess. 247 00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:31,776 Goes in me. Goes in... Jess. What!? 248 00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:34,712 I'm sorry, I'm gonna make a note of how to pronounce it. 249 00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,881 It's really nice to meet you, Mr. Goes-in... 250 00:08:36,883 --> 00:08:38,883 Ryan. 251 00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:40,552 COACH: Hey, Jess, where you going? 252 00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:43,721 You forgot to tell him about boundaries! 253 00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:45,723 It's great having you here, Mr. Goes-in-you. 254 00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:47,559 Geauxinue. Yeah. Goes-in-you, Goes-in-you. 255 00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:49,294 No... Goes in all of us. 256 00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:50,795 Yeah. - Sooner or later. 257 00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:55,667 (phone buzzes) This is Schmidt. 258 00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:58,469 Hey, it's Nick. Let me get Winston. 259 00:09:00,406 --> 00:09:01,673 Winnie the Bish, you on? 260 00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,508 What is happening right now? 261 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,677 I'm just giving you guys your midday update. 262 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,645 Schmidt, dry-cleaner company called. 263 00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:09,681 Your socks are ready. SCHMIDT: Oh, great. 264 00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,816 Not quite sure why we need to be on a conference call for this. 265 00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,685 Not quite sure why you need to dry-clean your socks, 266 00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:16,654 you weirdo, but we'll get back to that. 267 00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:18,489 Winston, Judy called again. 268 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,725 And so, I told her you weren't feeling it. 269 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,561 (laughs) Now why would you do that? 270 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,063 You said you were gonna dump her. 271 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,432 It was a very difficult conversation for you. 272 00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:30,501 We all know how you are, so I just handled it. You're welcome. 273 00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,670 Hey, Nick, do I need to be on for this? Can I get off? WINSTON: Great, great, great. 274 00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:33,838 You know what? Now she's gonna do something crazy. 275 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,440 You know, this is a very emotional woman 276 00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:36,774 we're dealing with, all right? 277 00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:38,610 That bitch a Leo! Can I go now? 278 00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:40,278 You should have thought of that before you dumped her. 279 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,279 I didn't! You did! 280 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,280 Because that's what you wanted. 281 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,615 I don't know what I want! 282 00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,583 Judy didn't know what you wanted, either! 283 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,619 Oh, and Schmidt, the magazine called. 284 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:50,088 Oh. And they need a picture. But don't worry. I handled it. 285 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,623 What do you mean, you handled it? 286 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:52,790 I know you have a lot on your plate, 287 00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:54,525 so don't worry... 288 00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:56,427 I sent them the most recent picture I had. 289 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,629 The most recent one? WINSTON: Did Judy sound...? 290 00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,597 Winston, enough! Nick, what, what do you mean by 291 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,633 "the most recent"? I don't... I don't understand what that... 292 00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,601 The latest picture. It's the most accurate. 293 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:04,602 It's just good marketing. 294 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,070 You know that. Check your e-mail. 295 00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:07,071 You'll be happy. 296 00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:08,573 Did you check it? 297 00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:11,242 Is it loaded? 298 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,811 Oh, no, no, no! 299 00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:15,747 And that's all I got. You guys good? 300 00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,315 (Schmidt sighs) 301 00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:18,750 Okay, I'll check back in five. 302 00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:21,486 What? Five... five what? Nick? Five minutes?! 303 00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,721 ¶ I'm a very good secretary. ¶ 304 00:10:25,824 --> 00:10:28,660 (phone buzzing) Hello. 305 00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:29,994 Yeah. Hello. 306 00:10:29,996 --> 00:10:32,263 Yeah... ¶ Hello. ¶ 307 00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:33,931 Yo! Hello. 308 00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:36,668 Yo... Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. 309 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,770 Yo! What up? What up? What up? 310 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:39,771 Winston! Hello. 311 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:40,972 I said... Winston I said "Yo." 312 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,974 Wait. Who's this? 313 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,410 It's Schmidt! We got to do something about Nick. 314 00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:47,645 We're here to address the school policies 315 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,747 on interfaculty relations. 316 00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:52,583 Some forms of touching, say, 317 00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,585 a... a friendly handshake, 318 00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:57,588 or a spirited pat, are completely appropriate. 319 00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,424 MAN: What if you spill coffee 320 00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:00,925 on your pants, and you're very burnt, 321 00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,927 and upon getting your pants cut off by paramedics, 322 00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:04,762 you become aroused? 323 00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:06,464 I'm truly hoping that didn't happen. 324 00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:08,599 What if you're in a situation where you either have to Um... 325 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,601 grab a teacher's crotch, 326 00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:13,604 or give narcotics to a student? 327 00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,473 That's a great question, man. Thanks, friend. 328 00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,141 Not a great question. And what if you...? 329 00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:19,444 I'm done with you. If you feel things getting 330 00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:21,612 sexual... 331 00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,948 just say, "Shut it down!" 332 00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:28,553 Followed by a sweeping gesture with your hands, like such. 333 00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:31,556 Everyone do it with me. Shut it down! 334 00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:33,958 No, thanks. - It's kind of fun. Shut it down. 335 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,394 Shut it... down. 336 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,696 Thank... thank you, new guy. 337 00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:43,568 Yes, Coach. - See, I'm more of a visual learner. 338 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:44,969 (laughing): Oh, yeah, you are. Do you think you could 339 00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:47,071 maybe demonstrate that move in context? 340 00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:49,974 Really, Coach? I think we'd all like that. It's kind of like a... 341 00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:50,975 like a skit. - What?! - (overlapping chatter) 342 00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:52,510 No idea. Visual learning. 343 00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,511 Like a skit. - ALL: Visual learning. 344 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:55,513 Visual learning. 345 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,749 Show us! Do it! ALL: Visual learning! 346 00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:58,916 Okay, Coach, do you want to come up and help me? 347 00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:00,918 How about the new guy? 348 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,154 British people love doing stuff, right? 349 00:12:05,557 --> 00:12:07,658 No, I don't think... 350 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,560 British guy... doing stuff! WOMAN: Yeah. 351 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,762 British guy doing stuff! 352 00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,730 I'm telling you they don't like to do things. 353 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:16,167 Doing stuff! - (all chanting) The British are coming! 354 00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:18,736 Okay, okay. - Happy to help. 355 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,805 (applause and cheering) 356 00:12:23,842 --> 00:12:28,112 Mr... "Guzinya" and I will now act out a sexual scenario. 357 00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:29,747 It's "Goes-in-you." 358 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,182 Yeah. I know. 359 00:12:35,687 --> 00:12:38,589 Okay, let's try it again. All right, all right. 360 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:41,092 (beep) - Hello. You've reached the loft. - Oh, my God! 361 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,760 What? - Too sexy! 362 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,629 Sounds good to me. 363 00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:46,197 Are you out of your mind? I'm on fire right now. 364 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,765 This is a home. We're not selling lubricant. 365 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,567 Why aren't one of you doing this? 366 00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:50,735 Because we couldn't decide which of us 367 00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:52,069 to do it, and this way, it's fair. 368 00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:53,738 Put nothing on it. Flat as can be. 369 00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,573 All right, here we go. Flat as can be. 370 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:58,476 Just say the words. (beep) 371 00:12:58,478 --> 00:12:59,911 (flatly): Hello. You've reached the loft. 372 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,479 Oh, my God! 373 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:04,482 Will you not stop until the whole world is aroused?! 374 00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:05,817 CECE: Okay. - Hey. 375 00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:08,319 Nick, my man, looking good. There he is. 376 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:09,921 New set of PJs? I know what you're doing. 377 00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:13,157 You're blowing hot air up in between my butt cheeks. 378 00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:16,828 And I'm no idiot. I know I was let go 'cause of 379 00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:19,764 the dang old machine. Story as old as time. 380 00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,666 A new piece of technology comes around, 381 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,768 and all the peasants freak out. 382 00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:26,103 But one prince knows what's going on, 383 00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:29,173 and he says, "Don't trust the technology!" 384 00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:31,142 And all you peasants trust it, 385 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,744 and then the machine becomes self-aware 386 00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:35,913 and destroys you all. 387 00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:38,749 And then, I become the loneliest prince of all, 388 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,085 laughing in my golden tower. 389 00:13:41,087 --> 00:13:43,621 (laughs) Isn't that a movie? 390 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,923 Maybe I stole that from War Games, yeah. Short Circuit. 391 00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:48,926 No, it isn't. - Man, you know what's a good movie? Splash. 392 00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:50,595 I don't know what is happening. (phone ringing) 393 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:51,963 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 394 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,631 Let's see what she can do. - (beep) 395 00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:55,766 CECE (flatly): Hello. You've reached the loft. 396 00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:58,636 SCHMIDT: Oh, my God. Will you not stop until the whole world is aro...? 397 00:13:58,638 --> 00:13:59,770 (beep) 398 00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,606 WOMAN: Hey, this message is for Nick. 399 00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:04,609 You responded to my ad about a custom secretary headset. 400 00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:07,111 Please give me a call back. (beep) 401 00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:09,847 How do they know my name? It's a stinking old prank. 402 00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:12,617 I don't even care. 403 00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:15,219 I got a lot going on today, so... 404 00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:16,721 Are you just eating a bowl of jelly? 405 00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,623 What does it look like? - It looks like a bowl of jelly. 406 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,625 It's a bowl of jelly, yeah. 407 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,159 Okay, so say I'm in the library 408 00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:25,229 and I feel Mr. G.'s hands on my shoulders. 409 00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:26,731 I'm not interested. 410 00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:27,899 So what do I do? 411 00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:30,735 I say, "Shut it down." 412 00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:33,237 Does that make things more clear for you? 413 00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:35,339 I feel like it needs to be a little more real, you know what I mean? 414 00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:38,242 I feel like if he were to touch her, that would help, am I right? 415 00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:40,912 (others agreeing) Am I crazy for thinking that? No, right? Yeah. Just... 416 00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:44,515 It'll be more helpful if he were to touch her. Just touch her, man. 417 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:45,683 Yeah, he should touch her. Touch her! 418 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,518 Get in there! Touch her. 419 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,687 Okay, fine. Um... 420 00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:54,158 So I'm in the library and, uh, Ryan approaches... 421 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,761 Hello. You look tense. 422 00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:58,729 (oohing) With that accent. 423 00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,564 Oh! 424 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:00,998 (everyone murmuring sensually) 425 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,400 Mmm... 426 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,601 Sha, na, na. 427 00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:07,238 Mmm... Day-O. 428 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,240 A little lower. 429 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,608 Right in the wolf patch. 430 00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:11,776 (puzzled murmuring) Huh? What? 431 00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,244 Should I shut it down? 432 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,746 What? Yes. Yes! 433 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:16,747 Shut it down! (groans) 434 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:17,949 (all gasping) 435 00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,083 I touched your... I... That was... 436 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,284 That's fine. It's-it's cool. 437 00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:22,520 Nice to meet you, too. (laughter) 438 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,022 That was an accident. And when an accident happens, 439 00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:26,257 shut it down. 440 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,291 (cheering, laughter) 441 00:15:27,293 --> 00:15:29,760 I did it again. 442 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,028 That's what I'm talking about! 443 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:37,001 I think we need to fill out some forms. 444 00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:40,805 Why won't these messages play, Winston? 445 00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:43,074 The machine's on the fritz. Just don't tell Nick. 446 00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:44,308 The magazine was supposed to call today 447 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:45,743 and set up my interview. 448 00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,311 I'm as mad as a dad in traffic! 449 00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:49,146 You probably burnt it out. I mean, you listened 450 00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:50,815 to Cece's message 100 times. 451 00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,550 I know. Then I touched my peen. 452 00:15:53,318 --> 00:15:55,486 (scatting cheerily) 453 00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:56,654 There he is. 454 00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:59,156 All right, Nick, hey, uh, you were home today. 455 00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:01,492 Did anybody leave any messages about my interview for tomorrow? I don't know. 456 00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,995 Why don't you ask the machine? Isn't that what you wanted? 457 00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,763 (chuckles) Uh, the machine's not working. 458 00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:08,332 Isn't that funny? I feel like I'm working perfectly. 459 00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:12,403 I'm gonna go take this machine back to 1993 and exchange it. 460 00:16:14,773 --> 00:16:16,107 Knock, knock. 461 00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:19,243 Who's there? The magazine. They called. 462 00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:20,244 They left a message. 463 00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:21,746 They want to do the interview today. 464 00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:22,913 Why didn't you say anything? 465 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,749 That thing is super important to him. 466 00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:27,084 You know how much this interview meant to him. Yeah, I know. I know. Yeah. 467 00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:29,920 First you break up with Judy and now this? 468 00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,922 Why are you so obsessed with answering the phone? 469 00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,758 Man. 470 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,292 We're just peeling the onion 471 00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:36,761 all the way to the middle, aren't we? 472 00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:37,928 What's going on? 473 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,463 Just because I miss you guys. 474 00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:42,099 And I didn't know what was going on with your lives 475 00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:45,803 and now I do, and it-it made me feel connected to you. 476 00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:48,606 I'm not gonna lie to you, man, that got me. 477 00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,941 (phone rings) 478 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:52,610 Hello? This is Nick. 479 00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:56,147 No, I'm sorry. Schmidt isn't here. 480 00:16:56,149 --> 00:17:00,351 No, he didn't... Pl... H... Can you hold on one second? 481 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,886 (quietly): It's the magazine. 482 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,220 They want to cancel the interview. 483 00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,489 What? They want to do it right now or not at all. 484 00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:08,125 Yeah, this is Nick again. No, he-he did... He might... 485 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:09,293 Hold on one second. I hear something. 486 00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:10,961 That might be him. Please hold. 487 00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:13,464 (quietly): You've got to talk to 'em. Why do I have to talk? 488 00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:14,899 Because even though you're the most awkward person I've ever met, 489 00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,500 you're magic on the phone and you know it. 490 00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:17,835 You know, I put those days behind me... 491 00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:20,171 Schmidt's right here. Hold one sec. 492 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,172 (quietly): You have to do it. 493 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,707 For Schmidt. 494 00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:25,910 I need a soda, I need a straw 495 00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:28,045 and I need to get horizontal, so get out of my way. 496 00:17:30,415 --> 00:17:32,483 (grunts) 497 00:17:33,752 --> 00:17:35,419 (exhales deeply) 498 00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:38,422 Yeah, this is Schmidt. What up? 499 00:17:42,661 --> 00:17:44,929 Mmm, let's see, the last book I read. The last book I read. 500 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,932 Good question, good question. Uh, some biography with, uh, Carson Daly. 501 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:49,433 The one with the red cover. - Oh. 502 00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:51,902 Yes, that Carson Daly joint. 503 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,771 You know, I respect that dude. 504 00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,673 Yeah, he's just like me. He's always on. 505 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,441 There's not a lot of good white role models out there, 506 00:17:57,443 --> 00:18:00,077 and I say that as a white man. 507 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:03,581 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you got it, Business, Man! 508 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,516 Is that the magazine? What are you boobs do... Yes. 509 00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,084 What are you... Winston, get off the phone. Stop, stop, stop. Stop. 510 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,119 Shh! 511 00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:09,787 Trust us. 512 00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:12,456 What does marketing mean to Schmidt? 513 00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:14,859 This was the spoiler. What did it say? Uh... 514 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,861 Predicting desires. Predicting desires. 515 00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:19,964 Well, to me, it's all about predicting desires 516 00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:24,368 and finding buyers, you feel me? (chuckles) 517 00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:25,536 He's really good on the phone. 518 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:26,771 Did you know that my name was an acronym? 519 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,806 Uh-huh. Schmidt: 520 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,241 Some Can Have Money, 521 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,243 I Desire Thoughtfulness. 522 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,645 (Winston laughs) 523 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,647 Schmidt don't quit! 524 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,582 Hey, Coach. 525 00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:41,418 Hey. - I just came in here to say I'm sorry. 526 00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:42,920 Sometimes it's... 527 00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,755 hard to control your feelings. 528 00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:47,158 Which I demonstrated by... 529 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,327 grabbing a man's "dujeels" in front of the entire faculty. 530 00:18:50,329 --> 00:18:52,763 Well, I'm sorry for putting you in a position 531 00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:55,666 to grab that man's "dujeels." 532 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:57,768 I don't like saying "dujeels." It's weird. 533 00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:01,605 I call mine my Sam Jackson 'cause he's in everything. 534 00:19:01,607 --> 00:19:03,607 I just don't know how to face Ryan again. 535 00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:05,943 I was so unprofessional. 536 00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,444 Jess, you're the vice principal, 537 00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:08,913 and you're a great vice principal. 538 00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:10,581 Doesn't mean you're not a human being. 539 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:11,816 Thanks. 540 00:19:12,584 --> 00:19:14,585 Oh... and you'll be happy to know 541 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:15,920 I've repealed the policy. 542 00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:18,422 Oh. - You have? 543 00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:20,591 That's frickin' awesome. 544 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:22,259 Ruth. 545 00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:24,261 Hi. It's hot under there. 546 00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:27,264 Happy to know you two have patched things up. 547 00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:28,766 Yeah, we have. Oh, they've been patched. 548 00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:29,767 (both laughing) 549 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,135 Two times. 550 00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:32,636 I see your hand moving, and I... 551 00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:34,638 wish you'd wait till I left the room. 552 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,707 RUTH: My bad. 553 00:19:37,642 --> 00:19:39,443 Hey. (chuckles) 554 00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:40,611 Hi. 555 00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,613 Hi. Sorry. Um, my hands are... 556 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,515 staying behind my back, don't worry. 557 00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:47,151 I won't even look at it. 558 00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:49,954 I mean, I-I looked at it just 'cause I said it, but I... 559 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:53,224 (chuckles) - Uh... hmm, yeah. I was gonna ask you... 560 00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,558 FOSTER: Vice Principal? 561 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,659 A moment, please? 562 00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:56,660 I'm so sorry. Don't be sorry. 563 00:19:56,662 --> 00:19:58,062 Um, my boss. Good seeing you. 564 00:19:58,064 --> 00:20:00,297 I'll, uh, see you around. I hope so. 565 00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:03,400 Principal Foster, I am 566 00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:04,969 so sorry. I went overboard. 567 00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:07,805 First off, it's "dog." Dog. 568 00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,640 Secondly, do not apologize. 569 00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:13,077 I have tried to corral these animals myself. 570 00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:15,312 It's impossible. - Word. 571 00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:18,482 These teachers are straight-up ho's, dog. 572 00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:21,485 Sometimes you just got to let people follow their urges. 573 00:20:23,588 --> 00:20:25,256 Yes. 574 00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:27,091 I completely agree. 575 00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:28,492 It's too bad we can't. 576 00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:29,693 We can't? 577 00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:32,363 Absolutely not. We're administrators, B. 578 00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:34,899 This is a lawsuit waiting to happen. 579 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,434 Two administrators? Perfectly fine. 580 00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:40,838 But, unfortunately, as I've repeatedly told you, 581 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,673 I'm not attracted to you. 582 00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:45,175 Right. You like Asians. So... Exactly. 583 00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:47,611 So that's off the table. - Yeah. 584 00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:49,280 So, do us both a favor... 585 00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:51,682 lock up that lobster. 586 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,354 (sighs) 587 00:20:59,190 --> 00:21:00,791 SCHMIDT: I still can't believe it. 588 00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,293 Look at that. "Bringing Nasty Back." 589 00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:03,694 NICK: "The bad boy of marketing." 590 00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,596 That is cool. So great for my brand. 591 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,598 I mean, I always knew I was a bad boy, but now it's in print 592 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,533 and it's official. Don't call yourself a bad boy. 593 00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:11,535 Am I a bad boy? You're not a bad boy. 594 00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:13,537 ¶ He was born a pauper ¶ 595 00:21:13,539 --> 00:21:14,805 WOMAN: Winston! 596 00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:15,739 ¶ On a Christmas day... ¶ 597 00:21:15,741 --> 00:21:18,242 Damn it, Nick. 598 00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:20,411 Winston! 599 00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:22,579 Winston! 600 00:21:22,581 --> 00:21:24,648 Yep. 601 00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:26,150 It's Judy. 602 00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:28,585 Hey, it's Nick! We talked on the phone! 603 00:21:28,587 --> 00:21:29,753 'Sup? 604 00:21:29,755 --> 00:21:32,089 Thanks, Nick. 605 00:21:36,494 --> 00:21:38,829 JUDY: Winston!