1
00:00:01,684 --> 00:00:03,551
(chuckles)
How do I look? What
do you guys think?
2
00:00:03,553 --> 00:00:05,220
Not bad, Winston.
I'll tell you what, man.
3
00:00:05,222 --> 00:00:06,554
You look like the funny guy
from Police Academy
4
00:00:06,556 --> 00:00:08,423
who does the-the voices,
5
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:09,925
and different sounds.
(imitates radio beeping
and siren wailing)
6
00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,760
God, I wish marketers
had a uniform.
7
00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:13,028
(construction clatter
begins outside)
To Winston Bishop,
8
00:00:13,030 --> 00:00:14,229
owner of cats,
9
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:16,364
taker of baths,
graduate of the LAPD.
10
00:00:16,366 --> 00:00:17,899
We are so...
11
00:00:17,901 --> 00:00:19,567
(workman shouts, clatter
and banging continue outside)
12
00:00:19,569 --> 00:00:21,770
I'm so proud of you!
13
00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:23,571
What?
I'm so proud of you.
14
00:00:23,573 --> 00:00:24,906
You're proud of me?
- Oh!
15
00:00:24,908 --> 00:00:27,876
When is this night
construction gonna stop?
16
00:00:27,878 --> 00:00:29,110
I actually don't mind it.
17
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,412
Gets me ready
for all the loud action
18
00:00:30,414 --> 00:00:31,579
on the job,
you know what I mean?
19
00:00:31,581 --> 00:00:33,381
Something has got to change.
20
00:00:33,383 --> 00:00:35,617
(mechanical whirring)
21
00:00:39,221 --> 00:00:40,488
(whirring stops)
22
00:00:43,459 --> 00:00:45,327
(whirring resumes)
23
00:00:49,465 --> 00:00:51,733
Well, don't worry, 'cause
I have called the city's
24
00:00:51,735 --> 00:00:54,069
automated help desk
and I've also sent out an e-mail
25
00:00:54,071 --> 00:00:57,439
to information@losangeles.gov,
so action has been taken.
26
00:00:57,441 --> 00:00:59,274
Jess, don't you know
how democracy works?
27
00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:01,476
We need to get out there and
grease palms, blackmail people.
28
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,912
We need to send them an envelope
filled with fake blood
29
00:01:03,914 --> 00:01:06,247
and-and a note that says...
30
00:01:06,249 --> 00:01:08,750
"I know."
- What?
- (Winston clears throat)
31
00:01:08,752 --> 00:01:11,319
As if... as if we know
what's really going on.
Schmidt, you do
32
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,421
realize you're saying this
in front of a police officer.
33
00:01:13,423 --> 00:01:14,756
I'm so sorry.
A little respect.
34
00:01:14,758 --> 00:01:15,924
Can I try on your uniform?
35
00:01:15,926 --> 00:01:17,258
No. This uniform is
36
00:01:17,260 --> 00:01:19,861
for official police business.
37
00:01:22,431 --> 00:01:23,431
(whoops)
- (laughs)
38
00:01:23,433 --> 00:01:24,766
Looking good, man.
- Yeah.
39
00:01:24,768 --> 00:01:26,434
We got a code Jewish,
code Jewish.
40
00:01:26,436 --> 00:01:27,936
You're under "ch'arrest."
41
00:01:27,938 --> 00:01:29,971
I can't believe
Winston's gonna be a cop.
42
00:01:29,973 --> 00:01:32,607
I mean, he's the gentlest
person I know.
43
00:01:32,609 --> 00:01:33,942
He once broke his arm
wrapping presents.
44
00:01:33,944 --> 00:01:36,011
Remember when
he made this?
45
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,512
He's the sweetest guy
in the world, man.
46
00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:41,349
He's just so nice
and... vulnerable.
47
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:42,183
Yeah.
48
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:44,285
Although...
49
00:01:44,287 --> 00:01:45,954
don't know what this is for.
50
00:01:45,956 --> 00:01:47,856
WINSTON: Hey.
What are you guys doing?
51
00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:49,991
Uh, n-nothing, man.
52
00:01:49,993 --> 00:01:50,992
Look, I'm a little
53
00:01:50,994 --> 00:01:52,627
worried about you, okay?
54
00:01:52,629 --> 00:01:54,162
And so is Coach.
(chuckles)
55
00:01:54,164 --> 00:01:55,196
Kind of worried about you, man.
56
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,198
Guys, calm down.
I understand,
57
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,300
I get it, and I'm...
and I'm flattered that you're
58
00:01:59,302 --> 00:02:01,302
concerned about me, but
I signed up for this, remember?
59
00:02:01,304 --> 00:02:03,138
Also, my training officer
is gonna be with me
60
00:02:03,140 --> 00:02:04,539
the entire time.
61
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,174
He's got a partner.
62
00:02:06,176 --> 00:02:07,342
I forgot about the partner.
That's huge.
63
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:08,710
We're silly. Yeah.
- Yeah.
64
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:11,012
It's supposed to be
a real bad-ass, too.
65
00:02:11,014 --> 00:02:13,681
Was in a biker gang
for three years, undercover.
66
00:02:13,683 --> 00:02:15,850
Can't go back
to Arizona no more.
67
00:02:15,852 --> 00:02:18,386
Is that True Detective?
Apparently eats bullets
as a party trick.
68
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,555
Great, that's really good.
That makes sense,
what are you, uh...
69
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,991
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
What's that?
70
00:02:22,993 --> 00:02:24,826
What the...?
- WINSTON: Uh...
71
00:02:24,828 --> 00:02:26,327
which... Oh, that?
72
00:02:26,329 --> 00:02:29,564
It's a, uh...
it's a project.
73
00:02:30,833 --> 00:02:32,000
I've had a report of people
74
00:02:32,002 --> 00:02:33,568
acting lame back here.
75
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:34,736
SCHMIDT:
Ow, Jess!
76
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,671
Also, I tazed Schmidt.
77
00:02:36,673 --> 00:02:38,506
WINSTON:
All right, seriously,
78
00:02:38,508 --> 00:02:40,175
no more playing
with the uniform.
79
00:02:40,177 --> 00:02:43,344
Officer Leslie Biggins.
80
00:02:43,346 --> 00:02:45,180
Okay, Biggins. So Bishop's
gonna be next, okay? Come on.
81
00:02:45,182 --> 00:02:46,347
All right, here we go.
82
00:02:46,349 --> 00:02:47,849
Officer Hank Bishop.
83
00:02:47,851 --> 00:02:49,417
Eh...
- Oh, that one.
84
00:02:51,020 --> 00:02:52,921
Officer Win...
85
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:54,756
...field Bishop.
- Ooh.
86
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:57,592
Well that's gonna cause a lot of
mix-ups over at the station.
87
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,427
Officer Winston Bishop.
88
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,162
(loud cheering, whooping)
89
00:03:04,366 --> 00:03:06,935
Winston!
ALL (chanting):
Winston! Winston!
90
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:09,237
Winston! Winston! Winston!
91
00:03:09,239 --> 00:03:11,239
Winston! Winston!
COACH: Yes!
92
00:03:11,241 --> 00:03:12,941
Winnie!
- (horn blares loudly)
93
00:03:14,577 --> 00:03:16,111
(groans)
- Sorry.
94
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:24,219
Wow, a lot of city
officials around here.
95
00:03:24,221 --> 00:03:26,588
Maybe somebody can help us
with our noise problem.
96
00:03:26,590 --> 00:03:27,722
Okay, enough of this
by-the-book nonsense.
97
00:03:27,724 --> 00:03:29,057
It's time to play hardball.
98
00:03:29,059 --> 00:03:30,925
Be a shark, Jess. Not a dolphin.
Right.
99
00:03:30,927 --> 00:03:32,627
So I shouldn't be the
smartest and friendliest
100
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,263
creature in the ocean?
That makes sense, bro.
101
00:03:35,265 --> 00:03:36,931
Sharks eat whatever they want.
Dolphins-- they jump
102
00:03:36,933 --> 00:03:38,733
through hoops, so, yeah,
I think it does make sense.
103
00:03:38,735 --> 00:03:39,901
No, it's awesome, bro.
104
00:03:39,903 --> 00:03:41,636
Okay, stop mockingly
saying "bro."
105
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,471
My uncle was arrested for
having sex with a dolphin.
106
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,706
What?
- What?
107
00:03:46,442 --> 00:03:48,109
Carry on.
108
00:03:48,111 --> 00:03:50,311
I'm having a lot of difficulty
nailing you down, Ryan.
109
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:54,082
Oh, there's councilwoman
Fawn Moscato.
110
00:03:54,084 --> 00:03:55,416
She's from our district.
111
00:03:55,418 --> 00:03:57,418
Yummo.
112
00:03:57,420 --> 00:03:59,420
Where do I place my ballot?
She better get ready,
113
00:03:59,422 --> 00:04:02,157
'cause she's about to have a
very friendly conversation
114
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,959
with a concerned
citizen... bro.
115
00:04:04,961 --> 00:04:07,162
Okay, Jess, it's not
gonna do anything.
116
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,930
Won't make a difference.
Like what I did there
117
00:04:08,932 --> 00:04:10,765
with the ballot thing?
It was a good joke, right?
118
00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:12,267
Didn't get
the reaction I thought
119
00:04:12,269 --> 00:04:13,835
it was gonna get from you guys.
No, we got it.
120
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,670
We got it, bro.
- Oh, I get it.
121
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:17,505
You know what,
I've seen the Bollywood movies,
122
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,840
I've seen the UK Office.
123
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:20,808
Not a fan, not a fan.
124
00:04:20,810 --> 00:04:22,177
Congratulations.
These are from all of us,
125
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:23,778
but I'm the one
that got them for you.
126
00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:25,280
Wow, they're big.
- So, Winnie,
127
00:04:25,282 --> 00:04:26,781
where's your
bad-ass training officer?
128
00:04:26,783 --> 00:04:29,117
Oh, guys, I would like
for you to meet the person
129
00:04:29,119 --> 00:04:31,519
who will be training me
as I brave the mean
130
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,821
streets of L.A.:
Officer Aly Nelson.
131
00:04:33,823 --> 00:04:35,156
She's so small.
132
00:04:35,158 --> 00:04:36,958
What?
- Excuse me?
133
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,326
You're so small, you're...
134
00:04:38,328 --> 00:04:39,527
What is happening, Bishop?
I think what he was
135
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,529
trying to say was that, um...
Yeah?
136
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,364
We were expecting
someone who looks
137
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,333
a little more like a cop
in the traditional sense.
138
00:04:45,335 --> 00:04:46,701
That's what I meant.
No, no, no.
139
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,169
Wow.
- I'm not trying to
140
00:04:48,171 --> 00:04:50,138
offend you, we were just
expecting, like, uh,
141
00:04:50,140 --> 00:04:51,973
either a really strong man
or kind of like a guy
142
00:04:51,975 --> 00:04:52,874
with, like, a mustache.
143
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,342
Got it. And flowers are a...
144
00:04:54,344 --> 00:04:56,711
that's a normal thing
to give to a grown man?
145
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,479
Or are they trees?
146
00:04:58,481 --> 00:05:00,648
I can't tell, I'm so small.
147
00:05:00,650 --> 00:05:02,817
Cool friends, Bishop.
No, wait.
148
00:05:02,819 --> 00:05:04,152
Officer Nelson, just...
149
00:05:04,154 --> 00:05:06,821
Thank you.
Thank you very much, you guys.
150
00:05:06,823 --> 00:05:09,324
Oh, also, thank you
for the flowers.
151
00:05:09,326 --> 00:05:12,694
And just so we're clear, the
first thank you was sarcastic,
152
00:05:12,696 --> 00:05:16,030
because you embarrassed me,
but the second thank you
153
00:05:16,032 --> 00:05:19,334
was sincere as hell, because
these flowers are glorious!
154
00:05:19,336 --> 00:05:21,202
You're welcome.
155
00:05:21,204 --> 00:05:22,337
I'm sorry about
the construction noise.
156
00:05:22,339 --> 00:05:23,705
It's an issue
close to my heart.
157
00:05:23,707 --> 00:05:26,407
I do charity work
with deaf children.
158
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:27,675
Of course, they would
welcome the noise,
159
00:05:27,677 --> 00:05:29,544
because it would mean
they could hear.
160
00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:32,013
Let me let you in
on a little secret.
161
00:05:32,015 --> 00:05:34,682
Just go to the
public works Web site
162
00:05:34,684 --> 00:05:37,352
and download this form.
163
00:05:37,354 --> 00:05:39,754
You're a dear, Fawn.
(laughs)
164
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,257
I made a pun and
I didn't know it.
165
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,524
You're too much.
166
00:05:43,526 --> 00:05:44,926
Oh.
- Hi.
167
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,427
JESS:
Schmidt,
168
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:47,762
this is Fawn Moscato.
169
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,697
She was just giving me
a shortcut to file
170
00:05:49,699 --> 00:05:52,233
some complaints
about the noise.
171
00:05:52,235 --> 00:05:53,768
(whispers): Looks like
someone brought a shark
172
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,570
to the dolphin show.
173
00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:58,039
(squeaks)
174
00:05:58,041 --> 00:05:59,707
That's a dolphin noise.
175
00:05:59,709 --> 00:06:01,242
Ah. Very good.
176
00:06:01,244 --> 00:06:03,244
Councilwoman Moscato,
excuse my trembling,
177
00:06:03,246 --> 00:06:04,545
but it's an honor.
178
00:06:04,547 --> 00:06:06,948
Your head is enormous.
Why, thank you.
179
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,416
JESS:
So you're taking her
180
00:06:08,418 --> 00:06:10,451
out to dinner? That's your plan?
181
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,587
I'm intoxicating a single,
overworked public official
182
00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:14,222
with the pleasure
of my company.
183
00:06:14,224 --> 00:06:15,556
Which I will then parlay
184
00:06:15,558 --> 00:06:17,625
into getting her
to fix our problem.
185
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:19,627
Are my sleeves even?
This is ridiculous.
186
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,729
You know, my new tailor
sews like an army medic.
187
00:06:21,731 --> 00:06:23,898
I'm not being overdramatic
when I say that I would rather
188
00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:25,733
sit naked on a hot grill
189
00:06:25,735 --> 00:06:27,235
than wear something
off the rack.
190
00:06:27,237 --> 00:06:28,970
Schmidt, just don't
screw this up.
191
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,638
She's a decent woman.
192
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,240
Oh, excuse me.
193
00:06:32,242 --> 00:06:34,309
At some point in the evening,
can you let me know
194
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,411
that I have a call
from Karl Lagerfeld?
195
00:06:36,413 --> 00:06:37,979
Schmidt.
196
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,480
Bob, how are you?
197
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,282
Tony, love you in a chino.
198
00:06:41,284 --> 00:06:43,318
Guillermo, fire up that grill.
Fawn's hungry.
199
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,552
GUILLERMO:
Sí, señora.
200
00:06:45,421 --> 00:06:47,422
I'm Fawn Moscato.
201
00:06:47,424 --> 00:06:49,324
And I approve this scotch.
202
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,359
Oh, goodness.
203
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:57,465
Okay, so I'm almost finished
with form 7D42,
204
00:06:57,467 --> 00:07:00,568
but I'm not sure what to put
down for landlord's birth city.
205
00:07:01,503 --> 00:07:02,670
Hey.
206
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,339
Ooh. What you doing, hot shot?
207
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:07,608
I was feeling saucy.
I've had a glass of red wine.
208
00:07:07,610 --> 00:07:09,344
Red wine makes you
bonkers horny.
209
00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:10,611
I'll make you a deal.
210
00:07:10,613 --> 00:07:12,113
When I finish a form,
211
00:07:12,115 --> 00:07:14,449
you can take off an article
of clothing, and that way,
212
00:07:14,451 --> 00:07:17,118
when I'm done, then we can
just go nuts on each other.
213
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,320
Deal.
- Hey, I'm not
finished yet.
214
00:07:19,322 --> 00:07:20,288
(sighs)
215
00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:21,823
Oh!
216
00:07:21,825 --> 00:07:24,125
This is America! Wear pants!
JESS:
Red wine. Sorry!
217
00:07:24,127 --> 00:07:26,961
Sorry. Sorry. Very sorry.
Sorry. Sorry. Geez. Yeah.
218
00:07:26,963 --> 00:07:28,629
COACH: So, tomorrow's
your first shift, huh?
219
00:07:28,631 --> 00:07:30,365
You gonna play
the name game,
220
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,667
do something fun
and safe like that?
(phone chimes)
221
00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:35,203
Dude, I'm gonna be
in a patrol car the entire time.
222
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,838
(laughs)
223
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,140
I just got a text
from my buddy Reynolds.
224
00:07:39,142 --> 00:07:40,508
Working his first shift,
225
00:07:40,510 --> 00:07:42,810
he got stabbed in the
leg by a little girl.
226
00:07:42,812 --> 00:07:44,145
(laughs)
227
00:07:44,147 --> 00:07:46,381
I love Reynolds, man.
He makes me laugh.
228
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,049
That's funny.
- You think
that's funny?
229
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,385
To be stabbed by
a little kid, yeah.
On the job.
230
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,387
Right. 'Cause you get paid.
That you're about to do.
231
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,722
Right, 'cause it's a child,
and it's hilarious.
232
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,023
You don't like
getting cut.
233
00:07:56,025 --> 00:07:57,558
You're very
physically sensitive.
234
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,861
I am. Paper cuts
give me headaches.
235
00:07:59,863 --> 00:08:01,496
I can't wait
to meet him.
- Yeah.
236
00:08:01,498 --> 00:08:02,563
Maybe he'll stab me.
Guys, chill out, okay?
237
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,365
I told you, I got my partner
238
00:08:04,367 --> 00:08:06,167
to protect me, remember?
The little one?
239
00:08:06,169 --> 00:08:08,069
The one would could take a nap
in a match box?
240
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,571
Which reminds me-- I'm gonna
make her a sandwich tomorrow.
241
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,340
I might even throw in
a crossword puzzle
242
00:08:12,342 --> 00:08:14,008
with Winston-related clues
243
00:08:14,010 --> 00:08:15,343
so she can get
to know me better.
244
00:08:15,345 --> 00:08:17,912
"Who likes cats?"
Winston, across.
245
00:08:20,682 --> 00:08:23,351
I don't like this.
- Mm-mm.
246
00:08:23,353 --> 00:08:25,520
His training officer
can't protect him!
- She's too tiny.
247
00:08:25,522 --> 00:08:27,021
She looks like
she won the silver medal
248
00:08:27,023 --> 00:08:28,556
in Athens for the balance beam.
249
00:08:28,558 --> 00:08:30,024
Girl could drown in a raindrop.
250
00:08:30,026 --> 00:08:31,426
I mean, that's girl's...
251
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,528
I mean, she...
252
00:08:33,530 --> 00:08:35,530
I can't think of one 'cause
I'm so worried about Winston!
253
00:08:35,532 --> 00:08:37,765
I'm worried about him, too,
but I can still think of 'em.
254
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:40,535
Uh, girl's so, uh... Ugh!
255
00:08:40,537 --> 00:08:42,036
She looks like
a Persian Webster.
256
00:08:42,038 --> 00:08:43,704
Ah...
257
00:08:43,706 --> 00:08:46,441
Girl's like a pepperoni.
258
00:08:47,376 --> 00:08:48,543
Why are you here?
259
00:08:48,545 --> 00:08:49,777
We brought you a gift.
260
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,046
Assorted candies.
Please enjoy.
261
00:08:52,048 --> 00:08:53,714
They are delicious.
262
00:08:53,716 --> 00:08:55,716
Now, I'm sure you have
friends and family of officers
263
00:08:55,718 --> 00:08:57,919
coming in here all the
time to check on them.
264
00:08:57,921 --> 00:08:59,720
No. No, this would be a first.
265
00:08:59,722 --> 00:09:01,289
Really? This is the first?
What do you guys need?
266
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,890
Well, we are here because, uh,
267
00:09:02,892 --> 00:09:05,126
Winston is our best friend,
as you know, and, um...
268
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:06,894
(clears throat)
...we're worried about him.
Yeah.
269
00:09:06,896 --> 00:09:08,229
And I'm not saying
that you're bad
270
00:09:08,231 --> 00:09:09,797
at your job
as a training officer.
271
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,933
But I'm not saying
you're good at your job.
272
00:09:11,935 --> 00:09:14,969
And that's why we're here-- to
kind of see where you're at,
273
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,270
to see if you're ready
274
00:09:16,272 --> 00:09:18,139
to protect our asset,
our dear friend.
275
00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:19,774
Let's-let's be diplomatic.
276
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:22,410
Did Bishop put you up to this?
Does he have some sort of
277
00:09:22,412 --> 00:09:24,745
problem with me being
his training officer?
Not at all.
278
00:09:24,747 --> 00:09:26,581
Oh, he is going to pay for this.
He is going to pay.
279
00:09:26,583 --> 00:09:27,748
He shouldn't pay for this.
This has nothing
to do with him.
280
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:29,484
This is about us.
- Okay.
281
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:30,818
First of all, you shouldn't
get mad at him. Get mad at us.
282
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,420
Get out!
It's good to see you.
283
00:09:32,422 --> 00:09:35,556
Get out.
- Okay.
284
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:42,763
Yo. Ry-guy.
(chuckles)
285
00:09:42,765 --> 00:09:43,965
I finished
printing out the forms.
286
00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:45,600
Let's get goofy.
- Mm.
287
00:09:45,602 --> 00:09:47,835
Come on!
- Aah. Mm-mm.
288
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,270
You got a real
Dudley Moore thing
289
00:09:49,272 --> 00:09:51,939
going on right now,
and I like it.
- (groans)
290
00:09:51,941 --> 00:09:54,775
Jessica Day,
I think I'm in love.
291
00:09:54,777 --> 00:09:56,477
Sorry. Did you just say
you were in love?
292
00:09:56,479 --> 00:09:58,179
That woman is a dynamo.
293
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,781
So let's talk about the whole
construction noise thing.
294
00:10:00,783 --> 00:10:04,952
Has anyone ever told you you
look like a Jewish Kennedy?
295
00:10:04,954 --> 00:10:07,855
I hope not, because
that would be offensive.
296
00:10:09,658 --> 00:10:11,359
(laughs)
297
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,194
What? I thought you were
supposed to be some kind
298
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:14,862
of big shark,
and you were playing her.
299
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,864
About the noise.
300
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,833
Given the many considerations--
traffic, budget...
301
00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,701
Okay, what is happening?
302
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,303
What are you doing
with your thumb?
303
00:10:22,305 --> 00:10:24,872
We feel it best to proceed
with the given strategy.
304
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,641
She played you!
305
00:10:26,643 --> 00:10:28,342
I know, and it was
wildly arousing!
306
00:10:28,344 --> 00:10:30,211
But let me tell you
something, Jess.
307
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,546
She played you, too.
308
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,180
No, she didn't.
No, she didn't.
- Mm-hmm.
309
00:10:33,182 --> 00:10:34,982
I filled out the form,
I submitted it.
310
00:10:34,984 --> 00:10:36,551
Here's the confirmation,
right here.
311
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,185
"Thank you for your inquiry.
312
00:10:38,187 --> 00:10:41,889
We will respond
in 360 to 500 days"!
Isn't she great?
313
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,991
She can't just walk all over
the people of the city
314
00:10:43,993 --> 00:10:45,326
like the Jolly Green Giant.
315
00:10:45,328 --> 00:10:46,894
Jolly Green Giant...
316
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,496
He doesn't stomp on people.
317
00:10:48,498 --> 00:10:50,398
He encourages them to
eat their vegetables.
318
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,034
You can't let her do this!
We have to keep fighting!
319
00:10:53,036 --> 00:10:54,902
She's taking me to a
ribbon-cutting ceremony
320
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,337
at a carniceria tomorrow.
321
00:10:56,339 --> 00:10:57,905
You know, Jess, I really think
322
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,541
that she may be grooming
me to be her arm candy.
323
00:11:00,543 --> 00:11:02,577
This could be a real Bill
and Hillary situation.
324
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:05,079
You, sir, are no Bill Clinton.
325
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,514
I know. I'm Hillary.
326
00:11:06,516 --> 00:11:08,049
Well, you're not Hillary,
either!
327
00:11:08,051 --> 00:11:09,517
I am, too, Hillary!
328
00:11:09,519 --> 00:11:12,219
Hey, man, can you be
the one to walk away?
329
00:11:12,221 --> 00:11:13,921
'Cause I just, like...
330
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,357
My little sleeping British
bulldog here is gonna wake up,
331
00:11:16,359 --> 00:11:18,359
and he's gonna get
scared if I'm not there.
332
00:11:18,361 --> 00:11:20,127
Yeah, I got you.
- Yeah.
333
00:11:23,932 --> 00:11:25,399
JESS: A bunch of neighbors
have joined the fight.
334
00:11:25,401 --> 00:11:27,702
See, if you put out
an honest message,
335
00:11:27,704 --> 00:11:29,870
you get good, honest people
to help you.
336
00:11:29,872 --> 00:11:31,539
Per municipal code 2B,
337
00:11:31,541 --> 00:11:33,708
construction is prohibited
at night.
338
00:11:33,710 --> 00:11:36,410
However, this project's
been issued a waiver
339
00:11:36,412 --> 00:11:38,212
that we are trying
to revoke.
340
00:11:38,214 --> 00:11:40,114
Now, I'm going to mash a muffin
into the phone.
341
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:43,551
You tell me
if it makes its way through.
342
00:11:43,553 --> 00:11:45,386
You're doing
a great job, Dave.
343
00:11:45,388 --> 00:11:47,555
It's important
to keep it positive.
344
00:11:47,557 --> 00:11:50,558
So, what happened
to Schmidt?
- I don't need him.
I got this on lockdown.
345
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,793
Yes, it is banana-walnut.
346
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,562
Now I'm gonna tell you the story
347
00:11:54,564 --> 00:11:56,631
of how my daddy spawned
with a pony
348
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:59,567
and made the mud boy--
that's me.
349
00:11:59,569 --> 00:12:02,169
"Chapter One--
Mama's House."
350
00:12:03,772 --> 00:12:05,573
Make sure they're sharp.
351
00:12:05,575 --> 00:12:07,908
It's political suicide to not
cut the ribbon on the first try.
352
00:12:07,910 --> 00:12:09,477
Of course.
Look, if there's anyone
353
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,112
who understands the
importance of a sharp knife,
354
00:12:11,114 --> 00:12:13,247
it's a Jewish man.
355
00:12:13,249 --> 00:12:15,249
Hey, listen, about the
construction issue...
We've discussed that.
356
00:12:15,251 --> 00:12:17,585
Look, changing that schedule's
a logistical nightmare,
357
00:12:17,587 --> 00:12:19,453
not to mention the people
it'll piss off.
358
00:12:19,455 --> 00:12:22,123
The sewage lobby's involved
in that project, and trust me,
359
00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:23,624
you don't want to cross them.
360
00:12:23,626 --> 00:12:25,426
Did they shoot poopy everywhere?
361
00:12:25,428 --> 00:12:28,596
How old are you?
No. No, they just...
362
00:12:28,598 --> 00:12:30,097
They contribute money
to my opponent.
363
00:12:30,099 --> 00:12:31,599
Of course. No, I-I knew that.
364
00:12:31,601 --> 00:12:33,434
They... Why would they shoot
poopy everywhere?
365
00:12:33,436 --> 00:12:34,602
Got it.
366
00:12:34,604 --> 00:12:36,270
Hey, listen, I wanted
to warn you.
367
00:12:36,272 --> 00:12:38,172
My roommates have recruited
a gang of derelicts
368
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:41,275
to-to protest the
council meeting.
369
00:12:41,277 --> 00:12:45,112
If only there was someone
who could oppose them.
370
00:12:45,114 --> 00:12:48,616
Of course, I can't, because it's
technically a citizens' forum.
371
00:12:48,618 --> 00:12:51,786
Are you saying that I should?
I'm not saying anything.
372
00:12:51,788 --> 00:12:53,621
Okay.
373
00:12:53,623 --> 00:12:55,356
You're trying
to manipulate me again.
374
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:58,459
You must think
that I'm a real shmendrick.
375
00:12:58,461 --> 00:13:00,127
Well, I love it.
When we're in public,
376
00:13:00,129 --> 00:13:01,962
Yeah.
- let's just tone down
the Jewish thing, okay?
377
00:13:01,964 --> 00:13:03,631
Let's tone down
the Jewish thing.
- Yeah.
378
00:13:03,633 --> 00:13:05,633
I can do that. 100%.
Let's tone down the Jewish...
379
00:13:05,635 --> 00:13:07,301
Hey, by the way, sir,
380
00:13:07,303 --> 00:13:09,470
thank you so much for keeping
the councilwoman safe.
381
00:13:09,472 --> 00:13:11,639
MAN:
Five stars for Arman!
He's an Uber driver.
382
00:13:11,641 --> 00:13:14,442
I'm a councilwoman,
not a senator.
Okay, I felt like that...
383
00:13:15,477 --> 00:13:16,711
(gags)
384
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:19,046
(coughing)
385
00:13:20,048 --> 00:13:21,716
First day on the job.
Is this where
386
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,984
you tell me to forget everything
I learned in training?
387
00:13:23,986 --> 00:13:25,319
N-No!
388
00:13:25,321 --> 00:13:27,054
Remember everything.
389
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,355
Bishop, if you have a problem
390
00:13:28,357 --> 00:13:29,824
with me being
your training officer,
391
00:13:29,826 --> 00:13:31,325
put down your ice cream cone,
392
00:13:31,327 --> 00:13:32,993
take your frickin' thumbs
out of your mouth,
393
00:13:32,995 --> 00:13:34,395
and say it to my face!
394
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:35,663
What?! I don't have
a problem with you.
395
00:13:35,665 --> 00:13:37,331
Did you or did you not
396
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:38,733
tell your roommates
to come check up on me?
397
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,168
What?! They did that?
- Yeah.
398
00:13:41,170 --> 00:13:44,371
Oh, my goodness,
I am so "furiated" right now!
399
00:13:44,373 --> 00:13:47,374
I am very lucky to have you
as my training officer.
400
00:13:47,376 --> 00:13:49,009
My roommates
don't speak for me.
401
00:13:49,011 --> 00:13:52,179
I promise you will never
have to see them again.
402
00:13:52,181 --> 00:13:54,115
They're right there.
They're literally right there.
403
00:13:57,252 --> 00:13:59,520
Oh, yeah, yeah,
they see.
- They got us.
404
00:13:59,522 --> 00:14:01,188
Hey.
- Yeah. Hey.
405
00:14:01,190 --> 00:14:02,890
(sighs)
406
00:14:02,892 --> 00:14:06,427
When you step to the badge,
the badge step back.
407
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:10,231
Don't ever say that
in my car again.
408
00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:11,866
What the hell are
you two doing here?
409
00:14:11,868 --> 00:14:13,534
And why are you talking
to Aly behind my back?
410
00:14:13,536 --> 00:14:16,437
She said that you guys gave
her weird unwrapped candy
411
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,873
and then you stole toilet paper
from the station bathroom.
412
00:14:18,875 --> 00:14:20,274
We need that
toilet paper.
413
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,442
Because we're worried
about you!
414
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,244
We're trying
to protect you.
415
00:14:23,246 --> 00:14:25,546
What?
- She's so small, Winston.
416
00:14:25,548 --> 00:14:27,248
You guys should
have faith in me.
417
00:14:27,250 --> 00:14:29,550
I got a badge, I got a diploma,
and I got a special
418
00:14:29,552 --> 00:14:31,218
plastic thing that goes
over my hat for when it rains.
419
00:14:31,220 --> 00:14:33,387
DISPATCHER: We got a 339
in progress at 62 Sage Brush.
420
00:14:33,389 --> 00:14:35,055
That sounds dangerous. Stop him!
Hey, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
421
00:14:35,057 --> 00:14:37,391
We can't let you do this!
We're trying to protect you!
422
00:14:37,393 --> 00:14:39,593
What the hell is your problem?
This is scary! We're not letting
you go on the street!
423
00:14:39,595 --> 00:14:42,730
This an obstruction of justice.
That is an obstruction of...
You won't die on my watch!
424
00:14:42,732 --> 00:14:46,133
Hey! Hey, Nick. Nick.
Oh! I can't give you these
'cause I care about you.
425
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,802
Nick, give me the keys.
Don't give 'em back!
426
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,403
We love you, man!
We love you!
427
00:14:49,405 --> 00:14:50,738
WINSTON: Coach, you know
I can't jump that high!
428
00:14:50,740 --> 00:14:51,972
Don't test me.
COACH: We're protecting you.
429
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,941
Give me those
damn keys right...
430
00:14:53,943 --> 00:14:56,210
Ooh, no, no, no, no...!
431
00:14:57,412 --> 00:14:59,814
That's what you get!
(chuckles)
432
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:00,948
Ow!
- Ow!
433
00:15:00,950 --> 00:15:02,149
I can't go to jail.
434
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,584
I'm too sarcastic
for the white gangs.
435
00:15:03,586 --> 00:15:05,419
Yeah, man, I'll get passed
around in there like a bong.
436
00:15:05,421 --> 00:15:06,453
Shut up.
- Ow!
437
00:15:06,455 --> 00:15:08,923
You're not going
to prison.
438
00:15:08,925 --> 00:15:11,759
The dangers of noise
pollution are real.
439
00:15:11,761 --> 00:15:13,627
According to the World Wide Web,
440
00:15:13,629 --> 00:15:17,097
it can cause lack
of concentration, nervousness,
441
00:15:17,099 --> 00:15:18,599
and misunderstandings.
442
00:15:18,601 --> 00:15:20,334
(banging)
443
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:23,304
Sir! Sir...
444
00:15:23,306 --> 00:15:25,272
clearly, manual labor
has sculpted
445
00:15:25,274 --> 00:15:28,309
your body perfectly,
but could you please be quiet?
446
00:15:28,311 --> 00:15:30,444
(New York accent): Sorry, lady,
I gotta work all night.
447
00:15:30,446 --> 00:15:33,180
But, sir, people live
and work here.
448
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:36,350
Babies sleep,
dogs nap by the window.
449
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,618
Immigrants share noodles
450
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:40,020
and dance to records
with abandon.
451
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,957
You're right! We should be
looking out for each other.
452
00:15:42,959 --> 00:15:44,692
You said it, handsome guy.
453
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,994
But you know who else
should be looking out for us?
454
00:15:46,996 --> 00:15:49,263
The city.
455
00:15:51,199 --> 00:15:53,400
(crowd cheering)
456
00:15:55,470 --> 00:15:58,706
Would you stop clapping?
This is an abomination.
457
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,541
By the way, he... the only
reason he got that role
458
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,042
is because he's sleeping
with her.
459
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,711
You want to get a
cheeseburger sandwich?
460
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,346
My nights just freed up.
461
00:16:05,348 --> 00:16:07,047
Of course.
462
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,650
That sounds great
now that I can hear you.
463
00:16:09,652 --> 00:16:11,819
Mm. Nothing.
What? What are you doing?
464
00:16:11,821 --> 00:16:14,054
The cuffs on your jacket
just look a little short.
465
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:16,223
What?
- They just look
a little short.
466
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,826
Why are you telling me this now?
I got a new tailor.
467
00:16:18,828 --> 00:16:20,160
I'm really insecure about it.
468
00:16:20,162 --> 00:16:22,062
My God.
I'm Jessica Day.
469
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:24,064
Thank you for listening.
470
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:26,834
(crowd cheering)
471
00:16:26,836 --> 00:16:29,303
MAN: Tone it down!
Stop the noise!
472
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,240
(clears throat loudly)
473
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:35,676
Ah. N-Noise.
474
00:16:35,678 --> 00:16:37,077
N... Noise.
475
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:39,179
Where would...
where would we be without you?
476
00:16:39,181 --> 00:16:41,048
I don't know.
A tree falls,
477
00:16:41,050 --> 00:16:44,919
a cabin is made, uh...
478
00:16:47,088 --> 00:16:49,356
(Schmidt muttering)
479
00:16:49,358 --> 00:16:50,591
It just...
480
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:52,426
This doesn't-doesn't look right.
481
00:16:53,361 --> 00:16:54,728
A woman screams,
482
00:16:54,730 --> 00:16:57,531
a b... a baby is b...
a baby is born.
483
00:16:57,533 --> 00:16:59,867
Maybe if the speaker would stop
fiddling with his jacket...
484
00:16:59,869 --> 00:17:01,702
It just doesn't feel
like these are...
485
00:17:01,704 --> 00:17:03,704
He's saying
all the right things.
486
00:17:03,706 --> 00:17:05,372
That son-of-a-bitch tailor
ruined my jacket.
487
00:17:05,374 --> 00:17:06,707
(sighs)
That-that baby
488
00:17:06,709 --> 00:17:08,776
that screamed becomes a man
489
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:11,712
and that-that was the story
of Abra-Abraham Lincoln.
490
00:17:11,714 --> 00:17:13,280
How dare you evoke Lincoln!
491
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,282
He was our quietest president!
492
00:17:17,218 --> 00:17:19,086
I feel... I'm just so...
493
00:17:19,088 --> 00:17:21,121
I'm so uncomfortable right now,
because of my sleeves.
494
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,723
I feel like an idiot
up here in this jacket!
495
00:17:22,725 --> 00:17:24,058
Nobody's telling me my-my...
496
00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:25,726
the tailoring is off!
I'm going...
497
00:17:25,728 --> 00:17:27,094
I'm seeing... I'm seeing
a new tailor, everyone.
498
00:17:27,096 --> 00:17:28,228
Sir?
499
00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:29,296
My tailor's great.
500
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,931
I'll give you his number: eight.
501
00:17:30,933 --> 00:17:33,400
I look like a freaking matador
in this thing!
502
00:17:33,402 --> 00:17:34,902
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
503
00:17:34,904 --> 00:17:36,136
Sir, we've heard enough.
(Schmidt jabbering)
504
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,938
Stand down! You look weak!
505
00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:43,077
Considering the incoherent and,
frankly, disturbing argument
506
00:17:43,079 --> 00:17:45,980
from the pro-noise lobby,
I have no choice
507
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:48,282
but to recommend a switch
to the day schedule,
508
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:49,450
effective immediately.
509
00:17:49,452 --> 00:17:50,918
(crowd cheering)
510
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,152
New York!
511
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:53,587
What?
512
00:17:53,589 --> 00:17:56,957
I'm Fawn Moscato,
the people's warrior.
513
00:17:56,959 --> 00:17:58,425
You're welcome, Los Angeles!
514
00:17:58,427 --> 00:18:01,128
Tomorrow is a new America!
Good night!
515
00:18:01,130 --> 00:18:03,297
(crowd cheering)
516
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:05,366
Hello again.
517
00:18:06,434 --> 00:18:08,669
I would like
to once more revisit
518
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:12,272
the bottomless clause
of the public nudity ordinance.
519
00:18:12,274 --> 00:18:15,376
Oh, my God, I almost
hired that guy as a sub.
520
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,849
So that was a huge failure.
I feel like a Democrat.
521
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,784
Why'd you have to say that
about my jacket?
522
00:18:23,786 --> 00:18:25,953
All right.
Okay, look, Jess told me to.
523
00:18:25,955 --> 00:18:28,355
I mean, I thought your sleeves
were fine. And by "fine,"
524
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,858
I mean I could not care less.
525
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:34,294
Oh, hello, shark.
526
00:18:34,296 --> 00:18:35,796
I am woman,
527
00:18:35,798 --> 00:18:39,199
the smartest species
of them all.
528
00:18:41,636 --> 00:18:44,171
I didn't realize
I'd finished that.
529
00:18:44,173 --> 00:18:46,140
I've been waiting here a while.
530
00:18:46,142 --> 00:18:47,975
You underhanded pig woman.
531
00:18:47,977 --> 00:18:50,811
You know, there are certain
things that you don't do,
532
00:18:50,813 --> 00:18:53,313
and exploiting a man's love
of tailoring is one of them.
533
00:18:53,315 --> 00:18:57,651
Which makes what you did
all the more impressive.
534
00:18:57,653 --> 00:18:59,053
Well, I felt dirty.
535
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,521
I felt like Evil Winston.
536
00:19:00,523 --> 00:19:02,890
Remember when Winston was evil
for that week?
537
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:04,391
I can't believe
I blew it with Fawn.
538
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,859
You know,
she said that we could have sex
539
00:19:05,861 --> 00:19:07,661
in the room
where O.J. tried on the glove.
540
00:19:07,663 --> 00:19:09,496
Schmidt, it doesn't matter
what happened at the meeting.
541
00:19:09,498 --> 00:19:11,331
She doesn't care about you.
542
00:19:11,333 --> 00:19:13,000
She's a power-hungry,
543
00:19:13,002 --> 00:19:15,702
self-obsessed woman
who just wants a man to shut up
544
00:19:15,704 --> 00:19:17,905
and look pretty.
That's not what you want,
545
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:20,040
is it?
546
00:19:20,042 --> 00:19:21,542
Please take me back.
547
00:19:21,544 --> 00:19:23,343
Look, I was duped
by a doe-eyed pixie
548
00:19:23,345 --> 00:19:26,080
and her Indian henchwoman.
Forgive me.
- It's fine.
549
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:28,515
It actually worked out.
You were such a jackass
550
00:19:28,517 --> 00:19:30,717
up there that no one
who supported the construction
551
00:19:30,719 --> 00:19:32,419
will be able to hold it
against me.
552
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:34,354
Plus, I picked up
a ton of votes.
553
00:19:34,356 --> 00:19:36,890
Or as I like to call them...
554
00:19:36,892 --> 00:19:38,859
tiny orgasms.
555
00:19:38,861 --> 00:19:40,194
So let me get this straight.
556
00:19:40,196 --> 00:19:42,029
You let me humiliate myself,
557
00:19:42,031 --> 00:19:44,698
in public,
for your own political gain?
558
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:46,800
Hmm.
559
00:19:48,570 --> 00:19:50,104
Yes.
560
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,705
You're the sexiest woman
that I've ever met.
561
00:19:51,707 --> 00:19:53,073
Ah...
- Ms. Moscato,
wherever you're going,
562
00:19:53,075 --> 00:19:54,074
take me with you.
563
00:19:54,076 --> 00:19:55,542
Please.
564
00:19:55,544 --> 00:19:58,512
It's "Councilwoman."
565
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:05,385
And I'll call you
when I need you.
566
00:20:05,387 --> 00:20:07,387
That is gonna be...
567
00:20:07,389 --> 00:20:09,289
so frustrating.
568
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,891
But I love it.
569
00:20:10,893 --> 00:20:12,726
Why are we in a church?
I once saw a priest
570
00:20:12,728 --> 00:20:15,062
drop his keys and bend
over and pick it up,
571
00:20:15,064 --> 00:20:17,898
and it was just so human that
it ruined religion for me.
572
00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:20,434
It's a support group
for families.
573
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,569
Pack it down.
And you pack it down.
574
00:20:22,571 --> 00:20:23,937
And now weird friends.
575
00:20:23,939 --> 00:20:26,106
...until one day,
what happens?
576
00:20:26,108 --> 00:20:30,110
And I know that his training
officer is scary strong.
577
00:20:30,112 --> 00:20:33,647
But, um, he's still my friend,
578
00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,449
and the bad guys
are still bad,
579
00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:38,819
and I just wish I could put him
in a giant envelope and just...
580
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:42,256
just mail him away from all
the bad guys... (crying)
581
00:20:42,258 --> 00:20:43,590
There's no shame in this.
582
00:20:43,592 --> 00:20:44,791
Do not judge this man.
583
00:20:44,793 --> 00:20:47,094
We won't. This is
a support group.
584
00:20:47,096 --> 00:20:49,429
I know what you're thinking:
he looks like a little punk.
585
00:20:49,431 --> 00:20:50,797
He looks like a little boy.
586
00:20:50,799 --> 00:20:53,467
We-we try not
to call names here.
587
00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:55,269
NICK: Everybody look down.
Don't look at him!
Good first day, Bishop.
588
00:20:55,271 --> 00:20:58,138
NICK: You never look
at a man when he cries!
Thanks.
589
00:20:58,140 --> 00:21:01,275
NICK: Back me up, man.
You ever let your friends
try on your uniform?
590
00:21:01,277 --> 00:21:03,443
What? No.
- Oh, yeah. Me either.
591
00:21:03,445 --> 00:21:05,012
Don't do it. I'm serious.
592
00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:07,114
Don't do that.
- I won't. I won't.
593
00:21:07,116 --> 00:21:08,448
MAN:
I'm telling you,
594
00:21:08,450 --> 00:21:10,517
you gotta keep clear!
- What?
595
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:13,353
I'm-I'm not driving you
to the E.R. this time!
596
00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:14,955
It's your problem!
Get out of the way!
597
00:21:14,957 --> 00:21:16,456
Don't look at me like that!
598
00:21:16,458 --> 00:21:17,691
MAN 2:
All right, all right!
599
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:18,792
Morning, Jerry!
600
00:21:18,794 --> 00:21:19,793
Hey, how you doing?
601
00:21:19,795 --> 00:21:21,028
How are you doing?
602
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:23,697
Eh, different day,
same bucket, right?
603
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,499
Is that today's Times?
604
00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:27,167
Kristof's got a piece
on net neutrality.
605
00:21:27,169 --> 00:21:28,702
It's very complex.
606
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:30,804
I don't know where I stand.
What kind of bagel
607
00:21:30,806 --> 00:21:32,472
you want this morning--
uh, poppy seed or sesame?
608
00:21:32,474 --> 00:21:33,874
I'm going sesame today.
609
00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:35,809
All right.
- Get me a little
schmear, would you?
610
00:21:35,811 --> 00:21:38,378
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