1
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:08,674
You know how a computer
is this big?
2
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:12,712
What if a computer was...
this big?
3
00:00:12,714 --> 00:00:14,747
The size of
a man's hand.
4
00:00:14,749 --> 00:00:19,218
And it had a camera in it
and you could take self pictures
5
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,587
and it also
had a phone?
6
00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:23,990
So you could store it easily...
7
00:00:23,992 --> 00:00:25,825
It's kind of a good idea.
(chuckles)
8
00:00:25,827 --> 00:00:28,761
Draw it up by noon.
Quit bossing me around.
9
00:00:28,763 --> 00:00:30,396
This makes me impatient
10
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:33,132
and it makes me also
so furious...
11
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,768
I need 45 minutes away from you,
12
00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:37,837
and then we can be
best friends again.
13
00:00:37,839 --> 00:00:39,639
Don't follow me out.
14
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:43,142
(grunts)
15
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:49,682
So, as you guys know, Schmidt
and I are business partners.
16
00:00:49,684 --> 00:00:52,585
We've been working on an idea
we're very excited about.
17
00:00:52,587 --> 00:00:54,754
We e-mailed our plans
to a guy in China,
18
00:00:54,756 --> 00:00:56,122
and the prototype
is here.
19
00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:58,191
And... we've got a
pitch meeting set up
20
00:00:58,193 --> 00:01:00,459
with Lori Greiner.
From QVC?
21
00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:01,794
That the one.
- That's right.
22
00:01:01,796 --> 00:01:03,462
You know, Fawn and I
were paired with her
23
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,198
in a charity
golf tournament.
24
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,433
You know, they laughed at me
for playing the ladies' tees,
25
00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:08,634
but it paid off.
26
00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:09,869
She's a shark.
27
00:01:09,871 --> 00:01:12,205
Ha! A shark golfing.
28
00:01:12,207 --> 00:01:14,006
(whoops)
Now I'd buy that T-shirt.
29
00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:17,410
Friends, imagine yourself
in this scenario.
30
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,179
You're at the
local gymnasia.
- Oh...
31
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:21,614
You're schvitzing
up a storm.
32
00:01:21,616 --> 00:01:24,183
Suddenly, you get
a text message.
33
00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:26,352
There's an emergency wedding
down at the town hall.
34
00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:28,287
But what'll I wear?
I mean, I'm sweating at the gym.
35
00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:30,723
Huh, I don't know
what's going on. I love this.
36
00:01:30,725 --> 00:01:32,058
Ladies and gentlemen,
37
00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:34,060
may I present
to you...
- Game time.
38
00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:38,231
...the Swuit!
The Swuit!
39
00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:40,032
Ugh.
40
00:01:40,034 --> 00:01:41,968
The Swuit.
The Swuit.
41
00:01:41,970 --> 00:01:44,470
It's a suit made entirely
of sweat suit material.
42
00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:46,505
Well?
- This is it?
43
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,474
What do you guys think?
This looks like garbage.
It looks like garbage.
44
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:50,643
I don't think it looks
like... relax.
- Nick, it looks
like garb...
45
00:01:50,645 --> 00:01:52,411
It's embarrassing.
Put it away.
- The bottoms
aren't great, but the top...
46
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,013
Well, I like it.
47
00:01:54,015 --> 00:01:55,748
I mean, I like you guys.
48
00:01:55,750 --> 00:01:57,083
All right, I'm gonna
go throw this out.
49
00:01:57,085 --> 00:01:58,184
No, don't throw it away!
50
00:01:58,186 --> 00:01:59,018
Why, you want to wear it?
51
00:01:59,020 --> 00:02:00,486
(laughing):
No.
52
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:01,854
No, no, no, no.
53
00:02:01,856 --> 00:02:03,422
No.
54
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:04,657
(Coach and Jess laughing)
55
00:02:04,659 --> 00:02:06,092
He said,
"Do you want to wear it?"
56
00:02:06,094 --> 00:02:07,426
JESS:
No, I just...
57
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,328
I think... I was gonna put it
58
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,063
in the Goodwill bin at school.
59
00:02:11,065 --> 00:02:12,732
As lining for the bottom.
60
00:02:12,734 --> 00:02:14,433
Get rid of it.
It's a piece of crap.
We're-we're screwed.
61
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:16,202
Guys, you're starting
a business.
62
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:17,603
There are gonna be
some setbacks.
63
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:18,938
We don't have
enough time, okay?
64
00:02:18,940 --> 00:02:20,539
I'm running out
of vacation days,
65
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:23,609
and our pitch meeting
with Lori is on Friday.
66
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:25,745
Friday?! (laughs)
67
00:02:25,747 --> 00:02:27,847
You never told me Friday.
He never told...
68
00:02:27,849 --> 00:02:30,683
Guys...
- I told you a hundred times
it was on Friday.
69
00:02:30,685 --> 00:02:33,252
That sounds like
it could be right, yeah.
70
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:34,720
Could be Friday.
Yeah.
71
00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:37,623
Now we need another
good idea in four days.
72
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,125
Ah, I can't work
under pressure like this.
73
00:02:39,127 --> 00:02:40,393
You know that
I get nervous.
74
00:02:40,395 --> 00:02:42,795
I am just a man.
I am not a god.
75
00:02:42,797 --> 00:02:45,898
Uh, I think we're
all aware of that.
76
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,099
Why you talking like that?
77
00:02:47,101 --> 00:02:48,701
Like what?
78
00:02:48,703 --> 00:02:50,569
(imitating Schmidt):
Well, we're all aware of that.
79
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:51,871
Guys, stop fighting!
80
00:02:51,873 --> 00:02:53,339
You're upsetting Winston.
81
00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:03,282
It's so early.
82
00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:05,084
You made me swallow
my night guard.
83
00:03:05,086 --> 00:03:07,153
Oh, please, it's a paperclip
with gum wrapped around it.
84
00:03:07,155 --> 00:03:08,421
We're in a crunch.
85
00:03:08,423 --> 00:03:09,655
Good morning!
86
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:10,990
Made you guys some brain food.
87
00:03:10,992 --> 00:03:12,491
NICK:
Ah, thank you.
88
00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:13,926
I'm supposed to hang out
with Kai later
89
00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:15,394
and do nothing.
This'll help.
90
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:16,762
No time.
The pitch is on Friday.
91
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:18,631
(groans)
- I'm gonna need
one good idea
92
00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:19,932
every 20 seconds.
93
00:03:19,934 --> 00:03:21,233
Ugh.
94
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:22,668
Oh, you're gonna time me now?
- Yes.
95
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:23,869
It'll help you concentrate.
96
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,673
(retro-electronic music playing)
97
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:29,275
It's too beepy-boppy.
98
00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:30,943
Well, it's brain music.
99
00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:32,645
Go.
100
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,413
Look away.
101
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,983
(whispering):
This is exciting.
102
00:03:36,985 --> 00:03:39,819
I feel like I'm in
the garage at Cupertino.
103
00:03:39,821 --> 00:03:41,420
This sounds like the video
in middle school
104
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:42,788
that taught me about periods.
105
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:44,023
And time!
106
00:03:44,025 --> 00:03:46,125
All right.
107
00:03:46,127 --> 00:03:48,494
Let's see
what you got.
108
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:51,831
"I am the Karduthian
champion of... of dance."
109
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:54,467
"Beer bread."
110
00:03:54,469 --> 00:03:56,435
Beard bread.
111
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,170
Bread that is in your beard.
112
00:03:58,172 --> 00:03:59,972
That's an...
that's an invention?
113
00:03:59,974 --> 00:04:01,874
Or is that just something
that happens to you?
114
00:04:01,876 --> 00:04:04,543
You think Hewlett had
to put up with this crap
115
00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,545
from Packard? Again.
116
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:08,314
Oh, now I'm Packard? Enough!
117
00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:10,549
You can't come up with a good
idea being all loosey-goosey.
118
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:11,884
Why don't you tell that
to Howard Hughes,
119
00:04:11,886 --> 00:04:13,452
the inventor of the Loose Goose?
120
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:15,788
That was the Spruce Goose,
and it didn't work!
121
00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:17,223
It did work!
122
00:04:17,225 --> 00:04:19,291
It flew for over a mile
at an altitude of 72 feet!
123
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:20,893
How on Earth do you
know that information
124
00:04:20,895 --> 00:04:22,695
and not know
the name of it?
125
00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:25,164
I don't want to stick my nose
in someone else's rose,
126
00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:26,465
but what I'm hearing
127
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,567
is two very passionate partners
128
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,636
with two totally different
approaches.
129
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:32,571
You hit the nail right on
the head!
- That is a correct
assessment
130
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,407
of what is going
on right now.
- And thank you
for breakfast!
131
00:04:34,409 --> 00:04:35,541
I'm gonna shove this bacon
right in my mouth
132
00:04:35,543 --> 00:04:37,143
and savor it for life.
133
00:04:37,145 --> 00:04:38,878
That omelette was so delicious!
134
00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:40,679
You know what, you guys are
saying really nice things to me,
135
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:41,914
but you're both shouting...
136
00:04:41,916 --> 00:04:43,149
Such a delicious omelette!
137
00:04:43,151 --> 00:04:44,683
The presentation's
fantastic!
138
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:45,718
One of the most
delicious things I've ever had.
139
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:46,752
You've outdone yourself.
140
00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:47,820
Definitely appreciated!
141
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,023
Don't follow me.
- Don't follow me!
142
00:04:51,025 --> 00:04:52,992
All they care about
is who's the boss.
143
00:04:52,994 --> 00:04:54,827
Of course that's all
they care about, Jess.
144
00:04:54,829 --> 00:04:56,595
It's a guy thing.
It's in our DNA.
145
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:58,064
Look, Nick's not gonna let
Schmidt boss him around,
146
00:04:58,066 --> 00:04:59,598
and vice versa.
147
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,767
Don't get me started on
the male power dynamic.
148
00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,569
I will talk your ear off.
149
00:05:03,571 --> 00:05:05,104
They're being such dudes
right now.
150
00:05:05,106 --> 00:05:06,439
It's, like, all about
151
00:05:06,441 --> 00:05:08,040
who's got the bigger
you-know-what.
152
00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:09,575
Oh, I do know what.
(both laugh)
153
00:05:09,577 --> 00:05:11,243
Yeah.
- Yeah.
154
00:05:11,245 --> 00:05:12,845
What can we do
to make them collaborate?
155
00:05:12,847 --> 00:05:15,114
You can eliminate their
you-know-whats. (chuckles)
156
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:19,118
That was a joke.
157
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:26,459
You want to hang out tonight
and have ninja turtle sex?
158
00:05:26,461 --> 00:05:27,860
What's ninja turtle sex?
159
00:05:27,862 --> 00:05:29,195
Sex with backpacks on.
160
00:05:29,197 --> 00:05:31,097
(laughs): Oh, sex
with backpacks on!
161
00:05:31,099 --> 00:05:32,865
Yes, I would love to,
but I can't.
162
00:05:32,867 --> 00:05:35,468
I got to do some work,
or Schmidt will put me
163
00:05:35,470 --> 00:05:36,902
in the "Think Harder" box,
164
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:39,071
which is basically
just a refrigerator box
165
00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:41,440
that he hits with
a baseball bat.
166
00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:42,641
Gets me to think harder.
167
00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:43,876
Talk later?
168
00:05:43,878 --> 00:05:46,479
Yeah.
- Great.
169
00:05:46,481 --> 00:05:48,214
I really hope that you enjoyed
your service today,
170
00:05:48,216 --> 00:05:49,615
and please come back...
171
00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:51,317
Okay.
172
00:05:51,319 --> 00:05:53,052
Thanks a lot, big spender.
173
00:05:53,054 --> 00:05:54,487
You should probably
show some clavicle.
174
00:05:54,489 --> 00:05:56,722
No. I need bigger tips.
175
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,424
They're raising
my college tuition,
176
00:05:58,426 --> 00:06:00,759
and if I don't come up
with the money by Friday,
177
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:01,994
I got to drop out.
178
00:06:01,996 --> 00:06:03,629
So I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
179
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:04,997
Wow, Cece, look.
180
00:06:04,999 --> 00:06:06,232
I mean, we're your friends.
181
00:06:06,234 --> 00:06:07,600
If you want,
I can give you money.
182
00:06:07,602 --> 00:06:09,635
COACH (mumbling):
You can give her money.
183
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,270
I ain't giving her
a damn thing...
184
00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:12,905
I think what Coach
is trying to say
185
00:06:12,907 --> 00:06:14,340
is that he will
also give you money.
186
00:06:14,342 --> 00:06:15,774
Look, that's very sweet,
187
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:17,243
but the last thing I want
is charity, okay?
188
00:06:17,245 --> 00:06:18,811
And don't tell Jess,
because she just
189
00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:21,113
goes nuts anytime
she thinks I need money.
190
00:06:21,115 --> 00:06:23,616
So I don't think I can afford to
go home for my aunt's birthday.
191
00:06:23,618 --> 00:06:26,819
You need money?
I'm selling my hair!
192
00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:29,355
Oh! Hi. Hello!
193
00:06:29,357 --> 00:06:30,489
You're a handsome fella.
194
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:32,424
Can I interest you
in a drink or...
195
00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:35,227
Oh, you suck!
196
00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:38,030
We got to do something.
197
00:06:38,032 --> 00:06:39,632
Winston, for the first time
in my life,
198
00:06:39,634 --> 00:06:41,000
I'm not 100% broke,
199
00:06:41,002 --> 00:06:43,102
and you want me
to give my money away?
200
00:06:43,104 --> 00:06:44,503
No, sir.
201
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:45,838
She said
she didn't want charity.
202
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,339
I ain't giving it to her.
203
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:52,111
Oh, crap.
204
00:06:52,113 --> 00:06:54,313
Am I stuck doing another thing
with you again?
205
00:06:54,315 --> 00:06:56,182
It's a classic
Winston and Coach mess-around!
206
00:06:56,184 --> 00:06:57,283
(both laugh)
207
00:06:57,285 --> 00:06:59,151
All right. But don't say that.
208
00:06:59,153 --> 00:07:00,219
What if I put your name first?
209
00:07:00,221 --> 00:07:01,153
Let me hear it.
210
00:07:01,155 --> 00:07:02,321
It's a classic
211
00:07:02,323 --> 00:07:03,789
Coach and Winston mess-around.
212
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:06,725
Regardless, I
don't like it.
- Oh, okay.
213
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,196
Hey, Schmidt.
214
00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:14,233
So I noticed you're having
trouble working with Nick.
215
00:07:14,235 --> 00:07:15,868
Well, you know what,
he's got a real head
216
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,636
full of dog dirt.
- Mm.
217
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:19,305
So I noticed you're having
trouble working with Schmidt.
218
00:07:19,307 --> 00:07:21,006
He's a bossy old tuna.
219
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:23,209
Well, we both know
you are the boss.
220
00:07:23,211 --> 00:07:24,743
Thank you.
221
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:27,079
But we both know
he's not the boss.
- Exactly.
222
00:07:27,081 --> 00:07:28,714
Maybe you could
back off a little,
223
00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:31,417
since Nick's been
having, you know,
224
00:07:31,419 --> 00:07:33,586
man problems.
225
00:07:33,588 --> 00:07:35,254
"Man problems"?
226
00:07:35,256 --> 00:07:36,488
Man problems.
227
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:37,957
Huh.
228
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:41,493
Are we talking clog or leak?
229
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,062
He's got the wet Tuesdays?
230
00:07:43,064 --> 00:07:44,997
You think it's 'cause of
his tight denim pants?
231
00:07:44,999 --> 00:07:48,867
Did the squirrels get
to the tulip bulbs?
232
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,736
Mm-hmm.
233
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:54,173
And that's why you
have to make him feel
234
00:07:54,175 --> 00:07:55,774
like he's the
boss right now.
235
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:57,943
Yeah, of course.
It's the least that I could do.
236
00:07:57,945 --> 00:08:00,112
Well, I had no idea
Schmidt had a cranky dank.
237
00:08:00,114 --> 00:08:02,081
So, yeah, I'll let him
be the boss.
238
00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:03,682
(whispering):
I'm amazing.
- What?
239
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:04,617
I'm amazing.
- What?
240
00:08:04,619 --> 00:08:05,718
What?
- Huh?
241
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,620
What? Hmm?
242
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,459
Hmm, this is a bit of
an unprecedented group,
243
00:08:13,461 --> 00:08:15,427
the three of us.
244
00:08:15,429 --> 00:08:17,630
This isn't a social call,
young lady.
245
00:08:17,632 --> 00:08:19,365
Oh.
- This is strictly
business.
246
00:08:19,367 --> 00:08:20,599
Here's the deal.
247
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:21,967
You need money
for college.
248
00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:23,702
No. No, okay?
249
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,272
I am not a
charity case.
- This isn't charity.
250
00:08:26,274 --> 00:08:29,208
No. No, we've
gone through this.
- This is
an investment.
251
00:08:29,210 --> 00:08:31,243
Nick and Schmidt are looking
for investors,
252
00:08:31,245 --> 00:08:35,247
so we thought it would be fun
if we got into investing, too.
253
00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:37,283
You're smart,
you're driven.
254
00:08:37,285 --> 00:08:40,219
We are confident
in a very robust ROI.
255
00:08:40,221 --> 00:08:43,155
ROI means "Return
On Investment."
256
00:08:43,157 --> 00:08:44,990
I know what
it stands for.
I've been reading a lot
257
00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:46,625
of Schmidt's investment books
in the toilet.
258
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,727
Life hack:
the toilet paper makes for
259
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,896
a very, very handy bookmark.
260
00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:53,299
Life hack: read your phone on
the toilet like everybody else.
261
00:08:53,301 --> 00:08:55,834
Ooh.
- The answer is gonna
be no, all right?
262
00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,503
Because when you borrow
money from friends,
263
00:08:57,505 --> 00:08:58,771
things get weird...
264
00:08:58,773 --> 00:09:00,105
N-N-No, do not mistake this
265
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:01,840
for friendship,
young lady, all right?
266
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:04,677
As far as I'm concerned, you're
just a walking treasury bond.
267
00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:06,345
Within three years
of graduation,
268
00:09:06,347 --> 00:09:07,946
you will pay us back in full,
269
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:09,448
plus ten percent
of the principal.
270
00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:12,318
I really don't want
to do this. At all.
271
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:13,786
But...
272
00:09:13,788 --> 00:09:15,187
There's always a "but," huh?
273
00:09:15,189 --> 00:09:17,589
But I don't really have
any other choice.
274
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,325
Yes!
- You were right, man.
275
00:09:19,327 --> 00:09:21,827
So I guess we're
in business, boys.
276
00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:22,995
Yes.
277
00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:24,596
We wrote the check out
to Cece.
278
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,598
We do not know
your full name.
279
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,336
This is looking
really good.
- It's absolutely
stunning.
280
00:09:30,338 --> 00:09:32,638
This is... this is your vision
from start to finish.
281
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,206
I might be the seed,
but you're the farmer.
282
00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:36,942
Hey, you two look like
you're really getting along.
283
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:38,944
Yeah, well, you know what,
who wouldn't get along
284
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,946
with this brave, masculine,
healthy cowboy?
285
00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:42,014
What you got there?
286
00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,382
It's a camera
attachment.
287
00:09:43,384 --> 00:09:44,616
That keeps the
attention of your dog
288
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,118
while you're taking
its picture.
289
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,820
Oh.
- Schmidt came up
with a great title for it.
290
00:09:47,822 --> 00:09:49,388
It's called
"Perfect Pet Pic."
291
00:09:49,390 --> 00:09:51,390
This is just a prototype
that dumb-old me came up with.
292
00:09:51,392 --> 00:09:53,792
If he put it together, it'd be a
lot better, I promise you that.
293
00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:55,661
Now, of course, could-could
you just hold some pet food
294
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:56,962
in your other
hand? Sure.
295
00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,230
But this is a
lifestyle product.
296
00:09:58,232 --> 00:09:59,665
That's actually
really impressive.
297
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,533
I think Lori's gonna like that.
298
00:10:01,535 --> 00:10:03,902
You know, I had a vision of what
this product would look like.
299
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:06,372
And you carried it out and
exceeded my expectations
300
00:10:06,374 --> 00:10:08,407
in a way that...
I don't know.
301
00:10:08,409 --> 00:10:10,042
It-it's touching.
302
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:13,245
Sometimes I feel like
you're my arms.
303
00:10:13,247 --> 00:10:15,381
I'm really proud of the way
that you're handling this.
304
00:10:15,383 --> 00:10:17,883
I'm proud of the way
that you've handled this.
305
00:10:17,885 --> 00:10:20,285
What have I handled?
306
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,088
Y-Your man problems.
307
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,090
No, honey, you're the one
with the man problems.
308
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:27,059
I don't have the man problems.
I'm being so nice to you
309
00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:28,827
because you're the one
who has the man problems.
310
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,763
No, no, no, sweetheart, I'm only
being nice to you 'cause
311
00:10:30,765 --> 00:10:32,765
you have man problems,
and I feel sorry...
No, you have man problems
312
00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:34,767
and that's why I'm being nice
to you right now.
313
00:10:34,769 --> 00:10:36,568
Honey, honey,
honey...
- What man problems
did you think I had?
314
00:10:36,570 --> 00:10:38,003
Something hangy.
315
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,605
Hang...? You think I had
something hanging off...
316
00:10:39,607 --> 00:10:41,774
What'd you think
I had?!
- I don't want to
get too graphic,
317
00:10:41,776 --> 00:10:44,243
but I... I was picturing
something gooey.
318
00:10:44,245 --> 00:10:46,712
Gooey's not the worst--
I've had gooey.
319
00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:48,380
Oh, good God, what?
320
00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:49,548
Simply ignore it.
321
00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:51,617
Who told you about
my man problems?
322
00:10:51,619 --> 00:10:53,485
Who told you
about my man...?
323
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:57,089
Look, the only reason
why I did this
324
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:59,525
was to get you guys to stop
arguing about who's the boss...
325
00:10:59,527 --> 00:11:01,126
Don't you be sorry!
- Jess, you did
nothing wrong!
326
00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:02,461
You're nothing but an angel!
327
00:11:02,463 --> 00:11:03,562
You tried to help us,
which is a sweet move!
328
00:11:03,564 --> 00:11:05,697
You tried to help
a situation...
329
00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:07,433
You're yelling nice things
at me again!
- ...which was
at a boiling point.
330
00:11:07,435 --> 00:11:08,867
It's very confusing!
- NICK:
This is his fault!
331
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:10,102
He's been bossing me
around for ten years!
332
00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:11,737
If I hadn't been
bossing you around,
333
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:13,705
you would just be a bartender
with a lot of ideas
334
00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:15,073
and the ambition
of a dead person.
335
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,909
I will never let you
boss me around again.
336
00:11:16,911 --> 00:11:20,746
Not even if the lives of
100,000 children depended on it.
337
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:22,714
Fine, if-if...
I take that part back.
338
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,149
If a bunch of kids' lives
depended on it,
339
00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:25,918
I'd let you boss
me around.
- You went way too far
340
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:27,419
in that moment.
- Fine, but you
understand my point.
341
00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:28,954
If there were
five kids whose life
342
00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:31,056
depended on it,
I wouldn...
- Not even five kids.
343
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,825
Okay, I... No kids, I don't...
Pretend I...
- Just take
the kids out.
344
00:11:32,827 --> 00:11:34,893
I understand the point
you're trying to make!
345
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:37,296
The company is dead!
That's the point.
346
00:11:37,298 --> 00:11:38,964
I'm going to that
pitch meeting tomorrow
347
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:40,632
with Lori Greiner
without you.
348
00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:43,135
You know why? Because a boss
never breaks appointments.
349
00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:45,137
You think I was born
in the middle of the afternoon?
350
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:47,272
You're gonna go into that pitch
and take all the credit?
351
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:50,509
Fine, go to that pitch together,
and then me and you, we're done.
352
00:11:50,511 --> 00:11:52,611
Fine, I'm done
with you.
- Don't speak to me
until bedtime.
353
00:11:52,613 --> 00:11:54,813
If you think we're gonna
have a bedtime chat,
you're out of your mind.
354
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,181
We'll lay in beds, and we'll
just over the day together
355
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:57,783
like we usually do
and that's it!
- No.
356
00:11:57,785 --> 00:11:59,318
Fine, we'll do that
for a little bit. That's it.
357
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,786
That's it.
358
00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:02,488
Here, take it. I don't
even need it anymore.
359
00:12:02,490 --> 00:12:04,356
Bedtime chat's gonna be so
short, you won't believe it.
360
00:12:04,358 --> 00:12:05,991
SCHMIDT: Oh, I'll believe it.
You won't believe it.
361
00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:10,762
(scoffs)
362
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:15,367
Thought you
might not show.
363
00:12:15,369 --> 00:12:18,170
I drove you here,
Nicholas.
364
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:19,805
Let's just get
through this thing,
365
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:21,507
and then we can be done
with each other, okay?
- Okay.
366
00:12:21,509 --> 00:12:23,108
And, by the way,
stay out of my way in there.
367
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,143
I'm about to blow the roof
off of this thing
368
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,346
with a little something
I like to call the "Seven S's."
369
00:12:27,348 --> 00:12:28,881
I bet you don't have
any more than four.
370
00:12:28,883 --> 00:12:30,549
Yeah? Watch me.
- Go ahead.
371
00:12:30,551 --> 00:12:32,217
Strategy, sizzle,
Schmidt,
372
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,852
sex...
- Go on.
373
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,954
Stop interrupting me.
I got... I got more.
374
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:38,390
Salesmanship.
375
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,893
Something.
376
00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:43,161
Synergy.
377
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,329
Boom. Nailed it.
- Damn it.
378
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:46,031
That's seven--
how you like me now?
379
00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:48,300
All right, that's really good,
but it's not gonna matter,
380
00:12:48,302 --> 00:12:51,036
'cause the only thing that
matters is what I have.
381
00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:52,137
A prototype.
382
00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:54,072
So stay out of
my way in there,
383
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:55,507
and let me just show
her the prototype,
384
00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:57,776
because that's
all we need.
385
00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:04,850
(chuckles)
386
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:06,518
We don't need
a prototype.
387
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,320
Did you forget
the prototype?
- No.
388
00:13:08,322 --> 00:13:09,555
Did you forget the prototype?
389
00:13:09,557 --> 00:13:10,756
(laughs):
No.
390
00:13:10,758 --> 00:13:12,591
Did you forget the prototype?
391
00:13:12,593 --> 00:13:14,726
Yeah.
392
00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:16,528
Where'd you leave it, Nick?
393
00:13:16,530 --> 00:13:18,263
I still believe
in them though.
394
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:20,065
Part of me thinks
that even though
395
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:21,567
they're mad at each other,
they'll get in there,
396
00:13:21,569 --> 00:13:22,668
and they'll figure it out.
397
00:13:22,670 --> 00:13:23,769
I don't think that's the case.
398
00:13:23,771 --> 00:13:25,003
Why are you being so negative?
399
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,004
'Cause they left
their stupid thing.
400
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:27,606
What?!
401
00:13:27,608 --> 00:13:30,008
Oh, crap.
402
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:33,445
¶ I'm delivering a prototype ¶
403
00:13:33,447 --> 00:13:36,782
¶ And drinking a big coffee... ¶
404
00:13:36,784 --> 00:13:38,350
(tires screech, horns honking)
405
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:46,058
Oh, crap.
406
00:13:46,060 --> 00:13:47,693
Nick, what is
the matter with you?
407
00:13:47,695 --> 00:13:49,027
Well, I wouldn't have forgot
it if you didn't bully me
408
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:50,762
to get out of the
house an hour early!
409
00:13:50,764 --> 00:13:52,397
It was too fast!
I needed time!
You lay on the ground...!
410
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:53,298
You guys ready?
411
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,399
Yeah.
- Yes, of course.
412
00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:55,734
Absolutely.
413
00:13:55,736 --> 00:13:58,203
I'm talking about postwar.
414
00:13:58,205 --> 00:13:59,738
That's after the war.
415
00:13:59,740 --> 00:14:02,107
Prewar would be something
different completely.
416
00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:05,811
I was in London postwar,
post-postwar,
417
00:14:05,813 --> 00:14:08,080
in '77, and, uh...
418
00:14:08,082 --> 00:14:09,081
I caught a few shows.
419
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:11,049
The flights were...
420
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:14,119
Well, I think I spent two...
maybe $250 to get to...
421
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:16,822
(quietly): Guess who?
What are you doing here?
422
00:14:16,824 --> 00:14:18,657
I'm just checking in
on my investment.
423
00:14:18,659 --> 00:14:20,292
Oh, my...
Hey, check it out.
424
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,094
I'm a campus cutie.
425
00:14:22,096 --> 00:14:23,662
No, you are not.
What are we learning?
426
00:14:23,664 --> 00:14:24,997
Shh!
427
00:14:24,999 --> 00:14:26,598
I am studying
428
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,233
Postwar British Art History.
429
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:30,569
What?
Post Br-British who?
What's that?
430
00:14:30,571 --> 00:14:32,237
That's just a bunch of words
that mean
431
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:33,672
"Screw you, investors."
What else you taking?
432
00:14:33,674 --> 00:14:35,474
Intro to Afrikaans.
433
00:14:35,476 --> 00:14:37,342
What else? Astronomy 101?
(chuckles)
434
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:38,443
That's next semester.
435
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:39,411
WINSTON:
Wow.
436
00:14:39,413 --> 00:14:40,646
What you gonna do, Cece,
437
00:14:40,648 --> 00:14:42,014
join the South African
space program
438
00:14:42,016 --> 00:14:43,448
and be the first woman
439
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:45,517
to put a David Hockney painting
on the moon?
440
00:14:45,519 --> 00:14:46,985
Who is David Hockney?
441
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:48,520
Excuse me, can I help you?
442
00:14:48,522 --> 00:14:50,288
No, no, we're okay, sorry.
Yes, can you please, um,
443
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:51,990
tell my investment here
We're okay, we're...
444
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,826
that she can't make any
money with art history.
445
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:55,994
That's not true.
446
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:58,296
Last year I made almost $22,000,
447
00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,165
and my life is very hard.
448
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:02,434
You see that? You should be
studying to become a doctor.
449
00:15:02,436 --> 00:15:04,536
They make good money,
they get respect.
450
00:15:04,538 --> 00:15:07,606
Paging Dr. Cece.
451
00:15:07,608 --> 00:15:08,674
A doctor?
We wouldn't see a penny
452
00:15:08,676 --> 00:15:10,175
for at least 12 years.
453
00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:11,810
Here's what you should be
focused on, okay?
454
00:15:11,812 --> 00:15:13,011
Something with a low risk,
455
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,347
high reward, and that thing...
456
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:16,815
Do not say hotel management.
457
00:15:16,817 --> 00:15:18,850
Hotel management.
Oh, my gosh.
458
00:15:18,852 --> 00:15:20,285
Look, man, it is a secure living
459
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:21,887
and it's great way
to meet people.
460
00:15:21,889 --> 00:15:23,522
Do you mind...
461
00:15:23,524 --> 00:15:25,657
telling me where I might find
more information
462
00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:27,726
on hotel management?
463
00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:32,464
Uh, the dog, uh...
the dog...
464
00:15:32,466 --> 00:15:34,499
You put the food
in the thing.
465
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,168
Uh, and then the dog sees it,
466
00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:38,336
and, uh,
the food's dangle-dang...
467
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:40,072
uh, it's dangling.
468
00:15:40,074 --> 00:15:43,709
To, uh, do-do-do...
469
00:15:43,711 --> 00:15:44,976
Dog...
470
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:46,478
Looks at dang-dang.
471
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,980
Tail wag-wag, uh, rev...
472
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:51,483
dog wagging the ta...
473
00:15:51,485 --> 00:15:53,385
Um, whatever dog's name is.
474
00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:54,586
Dog's name is Claire.
475
00:15:54,588 --> 00:15:55,721
Claire come in.
476
00:15:55,723 --> 00:15:56,988
Who-who's Claire?
- Shh.
477
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,357
Uh, Claire sees dog food.
478
00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:01,493
Pic, Facebook,
like, like, like...
479
00:16:01,495 --> 00:16:03,095
Sizzle...
- Pet Pic...
480
00:16:03,097 --> 00:16:05,831
strategy, sex, something.
Strategy, sex, something.
481
00:16:05,833 --> 00:16:07,499
S-Something.
- Something.
482
00:16:07,501 --> 00:16:10,235
This is the worst pitch
I have ever seen.
483
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:14,005
(panting): Sorry.
Sorry to interrupt.
484
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:16,208
Gentlemen, your prototype.
485
00:16:16,210 --> 00:16:17,976
Wait, what are you wearing?
486
00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:20,612
This? (chuckles)
487
00:16:20,614 --> 00:16:22,614
This is the Swuit!
488
00:16:22,616 --> 00:16:23,749
It's a suit
489
00:16:23,751 --> 00:16:24,950
made entirely
490
00:16:24,952 --> 00:16:27,753
of sweat suit material.
491
00:16:27,755 --> 00:16:29,888
It was invented by
Nick and Schmidt,
492
00:16:29,890 --> 00:16:32,457
and like them,
it's the perfect combination.
493
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:34,226
That one over there,
494
00:16:34,228 --> 00:16:36,194
he's all creativity and ideas.
495
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:37,462
Thoughts and notions.
496
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:39,765
And this one's all data
and numbers.
497
00:16:39,767 --> 00:16:41,299
Six.
498
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:43,068
He can just keep going.
499
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:45,804
The Swuit goes from day to night
and night to play.
500
00:16:45,806 --> 00:16:48,373
SCHMIDT: Take my friend Nick
here for example.
501
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:51,109
I mean, this is a man who would
wear sweatpants to his wedding.
502
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:54,079
I now pronounce me
comfortable.
- (chuckles)
503
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,747
Look, Lori, you get it.
Look, Lori, you get it.
504
00:16:55,749 --> 00:16:57,149
Lori, you get it.
Do it together.
505
00:16:57,151 --> 00:17:02,354
BOTH:
No one doesn't love the Swuit.
506
00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:05,423
Don't settle
for substitutes.
507
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,726
Swettle for
swub-si-swuits.
508
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:10,662
No?
509
00:17:10,664 --> 00:17:13,165
I've got to stop drinking
on the golf course.
510
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,670
To the Swuit!
ALL: The Swuit!
511
00:17:18,672 --> 00:17:20,071
Hey, how'd it go?
512
00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:22,307
She like the Perfect Pet Pic?
Even better.
513
00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:23,975
She hated the Swuit.
514
00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:25,944
Yeah, she's got
a similar product on QVC
515
00:17:25,946 --> 00:17:27,479
called the Scruit.
516
00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:29,581
It's a suit made of scrubs.
517
00:17:29,583 --> 00:17:31,483
It was developed
for prison weddings.
518
00:17:31,485 --> 00:17:33,485
Yeah, paid us $10,000
to kill the Swuit.
519
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,120
Yeah!
Yeah!
520
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:38,023
So, Nick, are you finally free
to do nothing?
521
00:17:38,025 --> 00:17:39,291
Not so fast there, lady.
522
00:17:39,293 --> 00:17:40,592
Uh, old Schmidty-bangs and I
523
00:17:40,594 --> 00:17:43,528
have to get working
on our next idea.
524
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:48,166
That is, if you'll still
have me, buddy.
525
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,701
Come on, man.
526
00:17:49,703 --> 00:17:52,103
Of course I'll have you.
527
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:56,775
Look at me.
528
00:17:56,777 --> 00:17:58,677
Look at me.
529
00:17:58,679 --> 00:18:00,045
I was looking at you
the whole time.
Don't say anything.
530
00:18:00,047 --> 00:18:01,379
When I say that,
just let me say that
531
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:02,681
and take a moment
where you're like,
532
00:18:02,683 --> 00:18:04,616
"Wow, he's about
to say something."
533
00:18:04,618 --> 00:18:06,318
You kept... you kept saying it
as if I wasn't looking at you.
534
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:07,352
NICK:
But what I'm clearly doing
535
00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:08,954
is saying, "Look at me."
536
00:18:08,956 --> 00:18:11,156
And what you're supposed
to do is be like, "Ah."
537
00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:12,624
And then I'm gonna
say something.
538
00:18:12,626 --> 00:18:14,125
Ah.
- Look at...
539
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,994
L-Let me say it first.
540
00:18:15,996 --> 00:18:18,363
All right, guess what?
(clicks tongue) Gone.
541
00:18:18,365 --> 00:18:19,898
Now.
- We back?
542
00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:21,533
Of course, man.
(chuckling)
543
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:23,201
Come here.
Ah, come on.
544
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,370
Come on.
Come on, come here.
545
00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:27,873
Come on.
546
00:18:27,875 --> 00:18:29,374
Come here.
Come here.
547
00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:30,842
Just meet in the middle.
Dynamic duo.
548
00:18:30,844 --> 00:18:33,211
Dynamic duo.
Batman and Robin.
549
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:35,747
Yeah, I'm Batman.
I'm Batman, for sure.
550
00:18:35,749 --> 00:18:37,415
JESS: You guys just
made ten grand.
551
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:39,551
What are we doing drinking booze
that you didn't buy?
552
00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:40,852
Let's go.
- Yeah!
553
00:18:40,854 --> 00:18:42,754
Let's do it, all right!
Yeah!
554
00:18:42,756 --> 00:18:45,390
Hey, can we talk for a minute?
555
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:47,959
Yeah, sure.
556
00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:52,998
(groans)
557
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,800
Wow, that is some
serious shade.
558
00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:57,869
I guess we deserve that.
559
00:18:57,871 --> 00:18:59,671
Yep.
- Cece, look,
560
00:18:59,673 --> 00:19:01,206
I know I got carried away
with the whole investing thing.
561
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:02,240
So...
562
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:03,909
I'm sorry.
563
00:19:03,911 --> 00:19:05,277
Ooh, an Afrikaans dictionary.
564
00:19:05,279 --> 00:19:06,845
Yeah, it was not easy to find.
565
00:19:06,847 --> 00:19:09,881
Read the inside cover.
566
00:19:09,883 --> 00:19:12,517
"Whatever drawings
you talk about,
567
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,786
"always shoot for the stars.
568
00:19:14,788 --> 00:19:17,022
Winston and Coach."
569
00:19:17,024 --> 00:19:18,556
It's very sweet, guys.
Thank you.
570
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:19,758
That makes zero sense.
571
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,092
I know, it makes no sense.
572
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:22,294
ALL:
Hey!
573
00:19:22,296 --> 00:19:23,795
Huzzah!
574
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:25,797
Nick Miller,
575
00:19:25,799 --> 00:19:27,365
friend, businessman.
576
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,601
This one's for you.
577
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:34,005
("Taking Care of Business"
begins)
578
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:40,578
What is she doing now?
579
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,180
I think she's making herself
some tea.
580
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:46,251
Hey.
- Hey.
581
00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:47,986
What's up? Are you okay?
582
00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:51,890
Kai broke up with me.
No.
583
00:19:51,892 --> 00:19:53,458
I'm sorry, dude.
584
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:55,593
I'm sorry. What happened?
She said she wants to be
585
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,929
with somebody who can just
sit on the couch all day.
586
00:19:57,931 --> 00:20:01,266
She said I'm too ambitious;
she said I work too hard.
587
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:03,335
(stifled laughter)
588
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:06,237
Nah, it was the...
It's not funny.
589
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:08,640
It's just that when you said
that out loud, it made me laugh.
590
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:10,642
I'm really sorry about Kai.
591
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:13,178
She seemed like a great girl,
but on the bright side,
592
00:20:13,180 --> 00:20:15,447
in all your years
on this planet,
593
00:20:15,449 --> 00:20:17,582
has anyone ever dumped you
for working too hard?
594
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:19,150
No.
(chuckles)
595
00:20:19,152 --> 00:20:20,752
No, it's mostly
'cause I'm either
596
00:20:20,754 --> 00:20:22,587
too poor or too sticky.
597
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:23,955
So this is a big day then.
598
00:20:23,957 --> 00:20:25,523
For the first time in my life,
599
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:26,958
I really want to do something
with this, you know?
600
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,960
I really want to make
this business work.
601
00:20:28,962 --> 00:20:32,497
Schmidt, tomorrow, let's start
bright and early, 7:00 a.m.
602
00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:34,099
No, no, no, Nick,
I want to do it your way.
603
00:20:34,101 --> 00:20:35,166
Let's wake up at 12:00 noon.
604
00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:36,968
Just said your way.
605
00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:39,671
Hey, guys, how about 9:30?
Now that's a genius
right there.
606
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,373
9:30, let's say 9:30.
Let's meet in the middle.
607
00:20:41,375 --> 00:20:42,941
What's that book?
608
00:20:42,943 --> 00:20:44,442
Oh, nothing, it's not even a...
General artifact.
609
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:47,212
They're giving out books
at the bar now for kids.
610
00:20:47,214 --> 00:20:49,314
What is it, seriously?
It's mine.
611
00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:50,949
Winston and Coach gave it to me.
612
00:20:50,951 --> 00:20:54,452
They're helping me with money
for my tuition.
613
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,121
You need money?
No, it's gonna be fine. Jess...
614
00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:57,489
Oh, my God, I'm selling my car.
615
00:20:57,491 --> 00:20:59,157
No, Jess, no, look,
it's gonna be...
616
00:20:59,159 --> 00:21:00,892
It's gonna be fine, okay?
617
00:21:00,894 --> 00:21:04,229
I guess we have to listen
to this whole song.
618
00:21:04,231 --> 00:21:05,730
(groaning)
619
00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:07,132
Not a fan.
620
00:21:07,134 --> 00:21:08,867
Kill me, please.
621
00:21:08,869 --> 00:21:11,569
The worst.
622
00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:13,538
(humming along)
623
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:17,142
ALL (quietly):
¶ Taking care of business ¶
624
00:21:17,144 --> 00:21:20,645
¶ Taking care of business ¶
625
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:23,848
(loudly):
¶ Taking care of business ¶
626
00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:25,183
¶ Taking care of business ¶
627
00:21:25,185 --> 00:21:27,052
¶ And working overtime,
work out! ¶
628
00:21:27,054 --> 00:21:29,087
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
629
00:21:29,089 --> 00:21:30,889
NICK: Hey, guys, we're in a bar.
We're not in the loft!
630
00:21:30,891 --> 00:21:32,323
SCHMIDT: You're right,
you're right, calm down.