1
00:00:02,373 --> 00:00:04,706
NICK: Your hair
looks so different.
Well, get used to it, boys.
2
00:00:04,708 --> 00:00:06,275
'Cause we're single,
we're sophisticated.
3
00:00:06,277 --> 00:00:08,744
And we just went to a
place to get blow-outs.
4
00:00:08,746 --> 00:00:09,878
What's a blow-out?
5
00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:11,246
You know how it's impossible
6
00:00:11,248 --> 00:00:12,714
to make your own hair
look amazing?
7
00:00:12,716 --> 00:00:14,750
Uh, I do not.
Yeah, you know
whose hair I admire?
8
00:00:14,752 --> 00:00:16,652
Jesus. Man, dude's
hair get overlooked
9
00:00:16,654 --> 00:00:18,821
because of all the
miracles and stuff.
10
00:00:18,823 --> 00:00:21,490
So, there's a place
that just blows out your hair?
11
00:00:21,492 --> 00:00:22,891
Well, they wash it first.
12
00:00:22,893 --> 00:00:24,426
So, essentially they
create a problem,
13
00:00:24,428 --> 00:00:26,495
and then charge you to fix it.
14
00:00:26,497 --> 00:00:28,630
Here's a, a business
idea I just thought of.
15
00:00:28,632 --> 00:00:30,132
Why don't I break the
heels off your shoe,
16
00:00:30,134 --> 00:00:32,167
and then charge you
to glue them back on?
17
00:00:32,169 --> 00:00:34,570
Or, uh, take your sore
back and adjust it.
18
00:00:34,572 --> 00:00:37,306
Which would, uh, just
make me a chiropractor.
19
00:00:37,308 --> 00:00:38,740
You ladies need
to be very careful.
20
00:00:38,742 --> 00:00:41,109
Blow-out can give a woman
too much confidence.
21
00:00:41,111 --> 00:00:42,578
Make them take on things
that they can't handle.
22
00:00:42,580 --> 00:00:43,579
Hillary Clinton.
23
00:00:43,581 --> 00:00:44,646
Oh, hey, Ken. You can just
24
00:00:44,648 --> 00:00:45,948
put the beer behind the bar.
25
00:00:45,950 --> 00:00:47,182
Oh, actually I was
coming over here
26
00:00:47,184 --> 00:00:48,951
to talk to the pretty ladies.
27
00:00:48,953 --> 00:00:50,486
(both laugh)
28
00:00:50,488 --> 00:00:51,787
Nice hair.
29
00:00:51,789 --> 00:00:52,855
(both laugh)
30
00:00:52,857 --> 00:00:54,189
(laughs)
Hey, Jess.
31
00:00:54,191 --> 00:00:55,491
Hey, Cece.
32
00:00:55,493 --> 00:00:57,493
Bear Claw, hello.
33
00:00:57,495 --> 00:00:59,595
I'd offer you my hand,
but it's quite wet.
34
00:00:59,597 --> 00:01:00,996
Still standing close to people.
35
00:01:00,998 --> 00:01:02,297
My building has
cable Internet now.
36
00:01:02,299 --> 00:01:03,765
Did you get even prettier?
37
00:01:03,767 --> 00:01:04,833
(laughs):
What?
38
00:01:04,835 --> 00:01:05,868
No.
39
00:01:05,870 --> 00:01:07,169
What? No.
40
00:01:07,171 --> 00:01:09,037
What... no.
41
00:01:09,039 --> 00:01:11,507
You and Cece should come to
a party at our place tonight.
42
00:01:11,509 --> 00:01:12,841
I live with Ken.
43
00:01:12,843 --> 00:01:14,042
Ken played football in college.
44
00:01:14,044 --> 00:01:15,444
Do a football thing, Ken!
45
00:01:15,446 --> 00:01:16,545
I'm kidding, Ken.
46
00:01:16,547 --> 00:01:18,814
Nobody wants to see
that garbage.
47
00:01:18,816 --> 00:01:20,983
Anyway, gonna be some
cool people there.
48
00:01:20,985 --> 00:01:22,351
We know twin architects.
49
00:01:22,353 --> 00:01:23,719
Yeah, they're... brothers.
50
00:01:23,721 --> 00:01:24,853
Ken, what did we talk about?!
51
00:01:24,855 --> 00:01:25,888
Huh?
52
00:01:25,890 --> 00:01:26,989
Some people understand things
53
00:01:26,991 --> 00:01:28,023
that don't come
54
00:01:28,025 --> 00:01:29,725
quite naturally to your brain!
55
00:01:29,727 --> 00:01:31,360
Stupid dum-dum.
56
00:01:31,362 --> 00:01:33,061
Stay out of this.
You guys want to come?
57
00:01:33,063 --> 00:01:35,564
Um, could you excuse
us for a second?
- Yeah.
58
00:01:35,566 --> 00:01:38,567
You played that all wrong,
you stupid idiot.
59
00:01:38,569 --> 00:01:40,736
Cece, I know these
guys are weird, but
60
00:01:40,738 --> 00:01:43,805
parties have cute guys
who aren't Schmidt.
61
00:01:43,807 --> 00:01:45,974
What did Charisma say while
he was washing our hair?
62
00:01:45,976 --> 00:01:47,309
He said he was worried
about Taylor Swift
63
00:01:47,311 --> 00:01:49,144
living in New York all alone.
64
00:01:49,146 --> 00:01:50,879
Well, yeah, we all are,
but he also said
65
00:01:50,881 --> 00:01:52,748
that we need to
embrace our freedom.
66
00:01:52,750 --> 00:01:54,683
We're single. We can
do whatever we want!
67
00:01:54,685 --> 00:01:57,252
The only thing
stopping us is us.
68
00:01:57,254 --> 00:02:00,856
And Charisma made us promise
not to waste these blow-outs.
69
00:02:00,858 --> 00:02:03,525
Our hair does look
so good right now.
70
00:02:03,527 --> 00:02:05,093
Let's do this!
Let's go to this party!
71
00:02:05,095 --> 00:02:07,996
Let's see where this
journey takes us!
72
00:02:07,998 --> 00:02:10,098
(birds chirping)
73
00:02:11,101 --> 00:02:13,335
Good morning.
74
00:02:14,672 --> 00:02:16,171
Hi.
75
00:02:16,173 --> 00:02:18,574
Do you want to hear
a funny story?
76
00:02:18,576 --> 00:02:20,409
This green pillow over here,
77
00:02:20,411 --> 00:02:23,912
I always use it
in between my legs
78
00:02:23,914 --> 00:02:26,949
like a... like a
second person.
79
00:02:26,951 --> 00:02:29,217
But it found its proper home
80
00:02:29,219 --> 00:02:31,286
underneath your head today.
81
00:02:46,570 --> 00:02:49,037
(both laugh)
MAN: Hey, hey... mamma mia!
82
00:02:49,039 --> 00:02:51,239
He slipped in the sauce.
Bookmark this one.
83
00:02:51,241 --> 00:02:52,874
Coach, get in here!
We're watching videos
84
00:02:52,876 --> 00:02:54,910
of Italians falling down.
85
00:02:54,912 --> 00:02:56,778
Oh, he's on a jog with May.
You know, I think
86
00:02:56,780 --> 00:02:58,313
he might've met his match
with that one.
87
00:02:58,315 --> 00:02:59,948
Rumor has it they haven't
even kissed yet.
88
00:02:59,950 --> 00:03:01,583
What was all that
noise in their room
89
00:03:01,585 --> 00:03:03,085
if they haven't kissed yet?
That's weird.
90
00:03:03,087 --> 00:03:05,087
Stop listening
by everybody's rooms
91
00:03:05,089 --> 00:03:07,255
for sex sounds, Winston.
- (laughs)
92
00:03:07,257 --> 00:03:08,924
Listen, if I'm not getting it,
Hey! Hey!
93
00:03:08,926 --> 00:03:10,559
I want to make sure everybody
else is getting it.
94
00:03:10,561 --> 00:03:12,127
Winston, I mean it, man.
95
00:03:12,129 --> 00:03:14,229
Good morning!
96
00:03:14,231 --> 00:03:15,964
I, uh, I believe
you all know May.
97
00:03:15,966 --> 00:03:17,466
Hi.
- If you'd like
to exchange pleasantries,
98
00:03:17,468 --> 00:03:19,735
please do so now,
as she is on her way out.
99
00:03:19,737 --> 00:03:21,103
NICK:
Why are you talking like
100
00:03:21,105 --> 00:03:23,405
you're high
and I'm your dad?
101
00:03:23,407 --> 00:03:25,474
Sorry I can't stay. I'm
performing at a benefit today.
102
00:03:25,476 --> 00:03:26,408
Oh.
- I'm playing
103
00:03:26,410 --> 00:03:28,076
Bach's "Cello Suite No. 1,"
104
00:03:28,078 --> 00:03:29,911
and all I have left to learn is
105
00:03:29,913 --> 00:03:31,913
the cadenza movement,
so it's...
106
00:03:31,915 --> 00:03:33,782
Well, at least it's
not the sarabande.
107
00:03:33,784 --> 00:03:35,150
Oh! Oh, my God!
(laughing)
108
00:03:35,152 --> 00:03:37,519
Right? I get this.
109
00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:39,488
That's crazy.
110
00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:41,189
Hey, you guys should come.
111
00:03:41,191 --> 00:03:43,825
Yeah, it's at an art gallery.
112
00:03:43,827 --> 00:03:45,661
Yeah, yeah. I-I think
I speak for everyone
113
00:03:45,663 --> 00:03:47,596
when I say absolutmont.
114
00:03:47,598 --> 00:03:50,132
(laughter)
115
00:03:50,134 --> 00:03:53,869
Something about Italians
on their asses, man.
116
00:03:57,708 --> 00:03:59,675
BOTH (gasp):
Oh, my God!
117
00:03:59,677 --> 00:04:02,878
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
118
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,346
You have stickers
119
00:04:04,348 --> 00:04:06,448
on your neck.
- (groans)
120
00:04:06,450 --> 00:04:07,716
Ow!
121
00:04:07,718 --> 00:04:09,551
"The man, the legend"?
122
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:10,986
Wouldn't that mean he
has no penis at all?
123
00:04:10,988 --> 00:04:12,020
Look, I had no choice, okay?
124
00:04:12,022 --> 00:04:13,121
He's sleeping on my shirt.
125
00:04:13,123 --> 00:04:15,123
We need to go! Walk of shame!
126
00:04:15,125 --> 00:04:16,692
Let's make a move.
127
00:04:16,694 --> 00:04:18,994
Wait a minute. Why do
women have to have a label
128
00:04:18,996 --> 00:04:21,196
for going home in the morning
129
00:04:21,198 --> 00:04:23,465
when for men it's
just... going home?
130
00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:25,867
Why don't we just call
ourselves what we are?
131
00:04:25,869 --> 00:04:28,870
Two respectable women
rushing to their car.
132
00:04:28,872 --> 00:04:29,971
Great.
133
00:04:29,973 --> 00:04:31,673
Aah!
- Aah!
134
00:04:31,675 --> 00:04:32,974
Oh!
135
00:04:32,976 --> 00:04:35,677
The sun! Hellfire!
136
00:04:35,679 --> 00:04:38,547
Where's the car?
Where's my car?
137
00:04:38,549 --> 00:04:41,383
No, no! No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no!
No! No! No, no, no, no!
138
00:04:41,385 --> 00:04:42,751
No, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no!
139
00:04:42,753 --> 00:04:43,852
What are we gonna do?
140
00:04:43,854 --> 00:04:45,554
My phone's dead.
141
00:04:45,556 --> 00:04:47,389
My phone is dead, too.
142
00:04:47,391 --> 00:04:49,057
I have no cash.
Now, what are we gonna do?
143
00:04:49,059 --> 00:04:50,092
Are we gonna walk?
144
00:04:50,094 --> 00:04:51,927
My feet are wrecked, okay?
145
00:04:51,929 --> 00:04:53,261
And carrying shoes?
146
00:04:53,263 --> 00:04:55,731
That's legit walk of shame.
147
00:04:55,733 --> 00:04:57,065
Please stop saying
"walk of shame."
148
00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:58,200
Also "legit."
149
00:04:58,202 --> 00:05:00,502
Not crazy about
that word, either.
150
00:05:00,504 --> 00:05:04,106
If that South African runner
who killed his girlfriend
151
00:05:04,108 --> 00:05:07,743
can run with no legs,
we can walk in heels.
152
00:05:07,745 --> 00:05:09,411
CECE:
Excuse you!
153
00:05:09,413 --> 00:05:11,747
Those little bitches
throwing us shade? Hey!
154
00:05:11,749 --> 00:05:13,715
Keep it moving!
(both laugh)
155
00:05:13,717 --> 00:05:16,017
This is a middle
school vice principal
156
00:05:16,019 --> 00:05:18,120
and can give both
of you detention.
157
00:05:18,122 --> 00:05:19,354
JESS: Hey, would
one of you let us
158
00:05:19,356 --> 00:05:21,857
use your phone
in exchange for...
159
00:05:21,859 --> 00:05:23,024
Cece?
- What?
160
00:05:23,026 --> 00:05:24,726
Cheese and a condom?
161
00:05:24,728 --> 00:05:26,261
It's for emergencies.
162
00:05:27,731 --> 00:05:29,965
Do you think Nick and Winston
should come to May's thing?
163
00:05:29,967 --> 00:05:30,966
No.
164
00:05:30,968 --> 00:05:32,100
I mean, I'm so freaked out
165
00:05:32,102 --> 00:05:33,435
that they're gonna embarrass me.
166
00:05:33,437 --> 00:05:34,436
I'm barely holding my own
167
00:05:34,438 --> 00:05:35,604
with May's friends as it is.
168
00:05:35,606 --> 00:05:37,606
It's always neo-romanticism
169
00:05:37,608 --> 00:05:39,107
with that guy-- like Rihm,
170
00:05:39,109 --> 00:05:41,076
Rochberg, Zwilich.
171
00:05:41,078 --> 00:05:42,811
You know what song
I find neo-romantic?
172
00:05:42,813 --> 00:05:45,714
(humming Johnny Pearson's
"Heavy Action")
173
00:05:47,718 --> 00:05:50,385
It's Monday Night Football?
174
00:05:50,387 --> 00:05:51,820
Uh...
175
00:05:51,822 --> 00:05:54,489
Why is it, like,
weird right now?
176
00:05:54,491 --> 00:05:56,625
It's a good thing that
I'm coming with you.
177
00:05:56,627 --> 00:05:58,660
I know a ton about
classical music.
178
00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,829
I played the ghost of
Rachmaninoff in a loosely based
179
00:06:00,831 --> 00:06:02,831
high school production of Shine.
180
00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:05,133
Now, do you think I'm crazy
for, like, thinking like that?
181
00:06:05,135 --> 00:06:07,302
Like, what do you think
about Nick and Winston coming?
182
00:06:07,304 --> 00:06:09,171
You know, I brought Nick
to a work dinner once.
183
00:06:09,173 --> 00:06:10,806
(whoops)
That was fun!
184
00:06:10,808 --> 00:06:12,641
Now, that place was fancy.
185
00:06:12,643 --> 00:06:14,409
(groans)
186
00:06:14,411 --> 00:06:15,644
(grunts)
187
00:06:15,646 --> 00:06:16,845
Vest without a shirt?
188
00:06:16,847 --> 00:06:18,580
I mean, it's a clean look.
189
00:06:18,582 --> 00:06:20,582
It's just not for that occasion.
You-you don't think
190
00:06:20,584 --> 00:06:22,450
we should tell them
not to come, though, right?
191
00:06:22,452 --> 00:06:23,752
I think we can tell
them whatever we want.
192
00:06:23,754 --> 00:06:25,086
Oh, hey, hey. And then...
193
00:06:25,088 --> 00:06:27,088
so, that's, it's his side.
194
00:06:27,090 --> 00:06:28,190
Hey, Nick!
195
00:06:28,192 --> 00:06:30,992
(sputters)
196
00:06:30,994 --> 00:06:33,328
What's up, man?
197
00:06:44,208 --> 00:06:46,608
Nick, pick up, pick up,
pick up, pick up!
198
00:06:46,610 --> 00:06:48,109
MALE VOICE:
The voice mailbox for...
199
00:06:48,111 --> 00:06:49,444
NICK:
Penis Wilson.
200
00:06:49,446 --> 00:06:51,213
MALE VOICE:
...is full. Good-bye.
201
00:06:51,215 --> 00:06:52,881
And there it is.
202
00:06:52,883 --> 00:06:55,650
All the numbers I know by heart.
203
00:06:55,652 --> 00:06:57,118
That's more than me.
204
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,453
Learn from us.
205
00:06:58,455 --> 00:07:00,655
Also, never open
a line of credit
206
00:07:00,657 --> 00:07:03,859
for your boyfriend no matter
how talented of an artist he is.
207
00:07:03,861 --> 00:07:06,394
Uh, we are walking.
208
00:07:06,396 --> 00:07:08,230
We're walking.
209
00:07:08,232 --> 00:07:10,165
CECE:
All right.
210
00:07:10,167 --> 00:07:13,301
This is a legit walk of shame.
211
00:07:13,303 --> 00:07:14,836
Oh, yeah.
212
00:07:14,838 --> 00:07:16,571
Rough start, ladies!
213
00:07:16,573 --> 00:07:17,939
It was the blow-out.
214
00:07:18,876 --> 00:07:20,675
It was the blow-out.
215
00:07:20,677 --> 00:07:22,911
It's gonna be okay.
Come on, let's go.
216
00:07:26,316 --> 00:07:27,883
Oh, my God,
they look so comfy.
217
00:07:27,885 --> 00:07:29,651
Okay, you got it, okay?
You got it.
218
00:07:29,653 --> 00:07:32,187
Just give it a good...
(grunts)
219
00:07:32,189 --> 00:07:34,189
Oh, God, I need
those sneakers.
220
00:07:34,191 --> 00:07:35,857
Ooh!
So close, so close.
221
00:07:35,859 --> 00:07:38,360
You got it on this one,
you got it, you got it.
222
00:07:38,362 --> 00:07:39,361
Yeah.
223
00:07:39,363 --> 00:07:40,562
(screams)
224
00:07:40,564 --> 00:07:43,098
No! No!
225
00:07:46,003 --> 00:07:48,570
Let's follow that train.
226
00:07:48,572 --> 00:07:52,707
JESS:
Look at it, just sitting
there, so full and so watery.
227
00:07:52,709 --> 00:07:53,942
If we steal that water,
228
00:07:53,944 --> 00:07:55,210
are we criminals?
229
00:07:55,212 --> 00:07:56,544
If we cross this fence,
230
00:07:56,546 --> 00:07:58,046
are we crossing a line
that we can never...?
231
00:07:58,048 --> 00:07:59,648
Shut up, we
are going in.
232
00:08:02,019 --> 00:08:03,885
WINSTON:
Makes sense.
233
00:08:03,887 --> 00:08:05,253
Ugh, I can't believe
we have to go
234
00:08:05,255 --> 00:08:06,721
to that stupid music thing.
235
00:08:06,723 --> 00:08:07,923
I just found these
two-for-one
236
00:08:07,925 --> 00:08:09,391
coupons to the
water park.
237
00:08:09,393 --> 00:08:11,226
Wow.
- They reopened
the wave pool
238
00:08:11,228 --> 00:08:13,395
because it's been two years to
the day since that guy died.
239
00:08:13,397 --> 00:08:15,230
R.I.P.,
Mike Beakman.
- SCHMIDT:
All right, you know what?
240
00:08:15,232 --> 00:08:16,898
I'll... I'll take one
for the team.
241
00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:18,466
You guys go to
the water park,
242
00:08:18,468 --> 00:08:19,868
and I'll go
with Coach.
- COACH:
Really?
243
00:08:19,870 --> 00:08:21,136
My eyes react poorly
244
00:08:21,138 --> 00:08:22,604
to children's urine anyway.
245
00:08:22,606 --> 00:08:25,106
Don't ask me how I know that.
Sweet.
246
00:08:25,108 --> 00:08:26,441
You guys are gonna have
so much fun without us.
247
00:08:26,443 --> 00:08:27,976
Yeah, come on, Coach.
- Man...
248
00:08:27,978 --> 00:08:29,945
Let's go put on our most
scrotum-crushing trousers.
249
00:08:29,947 --> 00:08:31,579
Thanks a lot, guys.
250
00:08:31,581 --> 00:08:32,814
(chuckles)
251
00:08:32,816 --> 00:08:34,282
Those lousy serpents.
252
00:08:34,284 --> 00:08:35,984
They don't want us to come.
253
00:08:35,986 --> 00:08:38,153
Damn lousy serpents.
254
00:08:38,155 --> 00:08:39,454
(hissing)
255
00:08:39,456 --> 00:08:40,722
They must think we're stupid.
256
00:08:40,724 --> 00:08:42,324
I don't want to go...
- Mm-hmm.
257
00:08:42,326 --> 00:08:43,758
...but I don't like
the idea of not going
258
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,627
because they don't
want us to go,
259
00:08:45,629 --> 00:08:47,929
rather than not going
because we don't want to go.
260
00:08:47,931 --> 00:08:49,631
That's right, 'cause if
we don't go, then who gonna go
261
00:08:49,633 --> 00:08:51,132
when we don't want to,
'cause we go.
262
00:08:51,134 --> 00:08:53,234
Right? Rewind.
263
00:08:53,236 --> 00:08:55,737
Come on, I'm being
very clear here.
Where are we going and why?
264
00:08:55,739 --> 00:08:57,772
We're going everywhere
for both reasons.
265
00:08:57,774 --> 00:08:59,240
(hissing)
266
00:08:59,242 --> 00:09:01,142
How do you
do it so smooth?
267
00:09:01,144 --> 00:09:03,011
(hisses) Just...
(hisses) ...exhale.
268
00:09:03,013 --> 00:09:05,580
(stuttering hiss)
269
00:09:05,582 --> 00:09:06,314
(smooth hiss)
270
00:09:06,316 --> 00:09:07,849
(stuttering hiss)
271
00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:09,684
I just can't do it.
I don't even care about it.
272
00:09:09,686 --> 00:09:11,653
Just gonna...
273
00:09:11,655 --> 00:09:12,854
Oh, that's heavy.
274
00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:14,522
Yeah.
- Okay.
275
00:09:14,524 --> 00:09:16,157
Let's just knock it over.
Push it ov-- push it.
276
00:09:16,159 --> 00:09:17,792
Push, push...
- Go.
277
00:09:17,794 --> 00:09:18,994
Oh! Fall back,
278
00:09:18,996 --> 00:09:20,595
fall back, fall back, fall back.
279
00:09:22,499 --> 00:09:24,032
We're trapped.
280
00:09:24,034 --> 00:09:26,534
Now what? Wait until
the kid's party's over?
281
00:09:26,536 --> 00:09:29,871
Kids unwrap presents
so slowly.
282
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:31,439
I know. Kids are so slow.
283
00:09:31,441 --> 00:09:33,041
I think this is rock bottom.
284
00:09:33,043 --> 00:09:34,442
Cece...
285
00:09:34,444 --> 00:09:37,946
I have to tell you
something embarrassing.
286
00:09:37,948 --> 00:09:38,847
What?
287
00:09:38,849 --> 00:09:40,448
I didn't sleep
288
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:42,617
with Bear Claw last night.
289
00:09:42,619 --> 00:09:45,220
I did something even worse.
290
00:09:46,056 --> 00:09:47,389
We made up a musical
291
00:09:47,391 --> 00:09:48,523
about woodland creatures.
292
00:09:48,525 --> 00:09:50,625
¶ Owls and squirrels and deer ¶
293
00:09:50,627 --> 00:09:52,560
¶ Raccoon and caribou ¶
¶ And otters ¶
294
00:09:52,562 --> 00:09:55,196
¶ Get out of here,
you're not welcome ¶
295
00:09:55,198 --> 00:09:56,965
¶ Get out of here ¶
¶ Get out of here ¶
296
00:09:56,967 --> 00:09:58,533
¶ Caribou, caribou... ¶
297
00:09:58,535 --> 00:10:00,035
(laughing)
- It's true.
298
00:10:00,037 --> 00:10:01,336
(chuckles)
299
00:10:01,338 --> 00:10:02,971
Why did you make it seem like...
300
00:10:02,973 --> 00:10:04,639
Because I didn't have
a one-night stand
301
00:10:04,641 --> 00:10:06,007
like a normal woman.
302
00:10:06,009 --> 00:10:07,175
I stayed up all night
303
00:10:07,177 --> 00:10:09,077
pretending to be a singing tree.
304
00:10:09,079 --> 00:10:11,413
¶ I'm just a dumb old tree ¶
305
00:10:11,415 --> 00:10:13,648
¶ No, you're not, take it back ¶
306
00:10:13,650 --> 00:10:16,551
¶ Nobody ever pets me-e-e-e ¶
307
00:10:16,553 --> 00:10:18,053
¶ 'Cause you're just a tree ¶
308
00:10:18,055 --> 00:10:19,921
¶ They just eat my nuts ¶
309
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:26,161
¶ Eat my nuts, eat my nuts. ¶
310
00:10:29,066 --> 00:10:32,233
You're right.
That is way more shameful.
311
00:10:32,235 --> 00:10:33,668
(giggles weakly)
All right.
312
00:10:33,670 --> 00:10:35,503
Confession.
313
00:10:35,505 --> 00:10:37,639
I did not sleep
with Ken, either.
314
00:10:38,508 --> 00:10:39,674
Yeah, we started hooking up
315
00:10:39,676 --> 00:10:40,942
and then I called him...
Schmidt.
316
00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:42,010
That's okay. It happens.
317
00:10:42,012 --> 00:10:43,178
Twice.
- Whatever.
318
00:10:43,180 --> 00:10:45,180
Four times.
Okay, that's bad.
319
00:10:45,182 --> 00:10:46,681
I know, I felt so bad
afterwards,
320
00:10:46,683 --> 00:10:48,149
I straightened up his room.
321
00:10:49,052 --> 00:10:50,685
I am a grown woman
322
00:10:50,687 --> 00:10:52,787
that is in love
with her ex-boyfriend
323
00:10:52,789 --> 00:10:55,623
that has a girlfriend.
324
00:10:55,625 --> 00:10:58,359
And I've been stealing
my neighbor's Wi-Fi.
325
00:10:58,361 --> 00:11:00,095
I mean, what have I become?
326
00:11:00,097 --> 00:11:04,265
This day is about
to turn around.
327
00:11:10,307 --> 00:11:11,639
Wait.
328
00:11:16,713 --> 00:11:17,946
Coach.
329
00:11:17,948 --> 00:11:19,247
What?
330
00:11:19,249 --> 00:11:20,548
Just-just put it
in your pocket.
331
00:11:20,550 --> 00:11:21,783
No, dude.
It had pork belly on it.
332
00:11:21,785 --> 00:11:23,751
Just put it in your pocket.
Do it.
333
00:11:23,753 --> 00:11:25,720
I used to play the violin.
334
00:11:25,722 --> 00:11:27,655
Then I became a real musician.
335
00:11:27,657 --> 00:11:29,657
(laughs)
336
00:11:29,659 --> 00:11:30,992
Because your instrument's
bigger, right?
337
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:31,826
(chuckles)
338
00:11:31,828 --> 00:11:33,561
Cello knowledge.
339
00:11:33,563 --> 00:11:34,729
Yeah.
340
00:11:34,731 --> 00:11:36,564
(whispering):
The cello is bigger.
341
00:11:36,566 --> 00:11:38,633
Nice.
(Nick and Winston laughing)
342
00:11:40,103 --> 00:11:42,437
The hell are
they doing here?
- I don't know.
343
00:11:42,439 --> 00:11:44,305
They're drinking
at a normal pace.
344
00:11:44,307 --> 00:11:46,608
There's nothing
stuck to them.
345
00:11:46,610 --> 00:11:48,109
Exactly.
346
00:11:48,111 --> 00:11:49,577
The hell are they up to?
347
00:11:51,615 --> 00:11:53,748
You are a genius.
348
00:11:53,750 --> 00:11:55,450
Sweet, sweet city water.
349
00:11:55,452 --> 00:11:58,119
Okay. You know how
today's been
350
00:11:58,121 --> 00:11:59,521
kind of like
a-a crappy day?
351
00:11:59,523 --> 00:12:00,288
Mm-hmm.
352
00:12:00,290 --> 00:12:01,756
Well, how would you feel
353
00:12:01,758 --> 00:12:04,359
if that hose belonged
to your ex-boyfriend?
354
00:12:05,629 --> 00:12:06,895
Jess?
355
00:12:09,866 --> 00:12:12,534
Genzlinger!
356
00:12:12,536 --> 00:12:14,869
Hey! Uh...
357
00:12:14,871 --> 00:12:16,371
Blast from the past!
358
00:12:16,373 --> 00:12:17,739
How's that ass?
359
00:12:18,508 --> 00:12:20,175
That ass is good.
360
00:12:20,177 --> 00:12:21,376
I don't know if that's
an expression, but...
361
00:12:21,378 --> 00:12:23,144
How the heck are you?
362
00:12:23,146 --> 00:12:25,480
Good. How...
Oop.
363
00:12:25,482 --> 00:12:28,183
(chuckles)
Don't know why I did that.
364
00:12:28,185 --> 00:12:29,450
Did it again.
I don't know why.
365
00:12:33,623 --> 00:12:35,356
Why you guys dressed
up all nice? Huh?
366
00:12:35,358 --> 00:12:37,559
Talking all polite and stuff.
What-What's going on?
367
00:12:37,561 --> 00:12:40,028
Oh, we're just here
for the culture
368
00:12:40,030 --> 00:12:42,063
and, uh, the spectacle
of it all.
- Really?
369
00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:44,332
And to make you look like
a stupid piece of crap
370
00:12:44,334 --> 00:12:46,901
for thinking we'd be
an embarrassment to you.
371
00:12:46,903 --> 00:12:48,002
I'm patting you down.
372
00:12:48,004 --> 00:12:49,404
Hey.
- I'm an American citizen.
373
00:12:49,406 --> 00:12:50,872
I request a female
if you're gonna do that.
374
00:12:50,874 --> 00:12:52,473
Stop it.
Stop.
375
00:12:52,475 --> 00:12:53,708
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
- Ah, ah.
376
00:12:53,710 --> 00:12:55,076
Get your paws
off of me.
- I feel something!
377
00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:56,477
I feel something!
Show some class, Coach.
378
00:12:56,479 --> 00:12:57,412
NICK:
Get your paws
379
00:12:57,414 --> 00:12:59,514
off of me!
- Ow!
380
00:12:59,516 --> 00:13:01,749
Toothpick in my leg!
(flute plays discordant notes)
381
00:13:01,751 --> 00:13:03,851
Oh, dip.
382
00:13:03,853 --> 00:13:05,453
Ernie!
383
00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:08,990
Please apologize to Frondi.
384
00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:11,826
The flautist.
385
00:13:11,828 --> 00:13:13,161
Uh...
386
00:13:13,163 --> 00:13:14,262
The flute player.
387
00:13:14,264 --> 00:13:15,496
Oh.
388
00:13:16,733 --> 00:13:18,399
Sorry, Frondi.
389
00:13:19,402 --> 00:13:22,003
I should go.
390
00:13:25,242 --> 00:13:27,075
We'll take care of the
charges and the damages.
391
00:13:27,077 --> 00:13:28,943
We'll spare
no expense.
- No, we will not.
No, we will not.
392
00:13:28,945 --> 00:13:30,945
We will spare
no expense.
- No, we will not.
393
00:13:30,947 --> 00:13:33,181
So, yeah, I got promoted
to vice principal.
394
00:13:33,183 --> 00:13:34,449
VP.
- Great.
395
00:13:34,451 --> 00:13:36,084
I have a bottle
of soy sauce on my desk,
396
00:13:36,086 --> 00:13:37,685
so no more packets for me.
397
00:13:37,687 --> 00:13:39,621
Hey, you got a little
roly poly bug on you, hmm?
398
00:13:39,623 --> 00:13:41,389
Oh...
399
00:13:41,391 --> 00:13:43,758
I get it.
- What?
400
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,260
I wasn't born
yesterday!
401
00:13:45,262 --> 00:13:47,061
You think we're on
a walk of shame.
402
00:13:47,063 --> 00:13:48,463
I didn't, but...
403
00:13:48,465 --> 00:13:50,198
Congratulations.
404
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,734
You spend your Sundays
having cupcake parties
405
00:13:52,736 --> 00:13:54,302
at your beautiful house
with your cute little
406
00:13:54,304 --> 00:13:56,704
half-Asian kid
and your daddy diaper bag...
407
00:13:56,706 --> 00:13:58,940
I think someone might need
a visit from the "rest police."
408
00:13:58,942 --> 00:14:00,141
Just because I don't
have a husband
409
00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:01,643
or a baby or a house
410
00:14:01,645 --> 00:14:03,311
doesn't mean
I'm not living right.
411
00:14:03,313 --> 00:14:04,812
We're still growing
and changing.
412
00:14:04,814 --> 00:14:06,614
Yeah.
- And that's
a good thing.
413
00:14:06,616 --> 00:14:08,249
Look at this hair.
414
00:14:08,251 --> 00:14:09,984
This is
single-girl hair.
415
00:14:09,986 --> 00:14:11,653
This is
adventure hair.
416
00:14:11,655 --> 00:14:15,290
This isn't boring,
married, settled hair.
417
00:14:15,292 --> 00:14:17,292
This is...
this is fun.
418
00:14:17,294 --> 00:14:18,426
We're fun.
419
00:14:18,428 --> 00:14:20,228
You know what I did
last night?
420
00:14:20,230 --> 00:14:22,430
I got totally obliterated,
421
00:14:22,432 --> 00:14:26,067
and I made up a musical fable
with a guy named Bear Claw,
422
00:14:26,069 --> 00:14:28,002
and it was better than sex.
423
00:14:28,004 --> 00:14:30,438
¶ I'm a little fox,
but I'm not that sly ¶
424
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:31,839
¶ What can I say? ¶
425
00:14:31,841 --> 00:14:33,474
¶ I'm an honest
little guy. ¶
426
00:14:34,611 --> 00:14:36,911
Well, I'm glad
things are good...
427
00:14:36,913 --> 00:14:38,079
You know what,
Genzlinger?
428
00:14:38,081 --> 00:14:39,747
I don't care
what you think of me.
429
00:14:39,749 --> 00:14:40,915
'Cause this is
my journey.
430
00:14:40,917 --> 00:14:42,917
Welcome
to my freaking journey.
431
00:14:42,919 --> 00:14:44,619
Great, I wish
you luck...
432
00:14:44,621 --> 00:14:45,653
You ready?
433
00:14:45,655 --> 00:14:47,822
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
434
00:14:49,359 --> 00:14:51,025
That's not Jenn.
435
00:14:52,462 --> 00:14:53,461
(sighs)
436
00:14:53,463 --> 00:14:55,263
Nope.
437
00:14:55,265 --> 00:14:56,964
This is not my
house, okay?
438
00:14:56,966 --> 00:14:58,800
This is not a
daddy diaper bag.
439
00:14:58,802 --> 00:15:01,436
This is a bag
of sadness.
440
00:15:01,438 --> 00:15:04,372
Because I am
a party clown.
(squeaks)
441
00:15:04,374 --> 00:15:06,374
I'm actually a musical
party clown, okay?
442
00:15:06,376 --> 00:15:11,446
So no one's had a more shameful
walk this morning than me.
443
00:15:11,448 --> 00:15:13,514
(squeaks)
444
00:15:15,719 --> 00:15:17,018
What happened
to Jenn?
445
00:15:17,020 --> 00:15:18,119
Thanks for
bringing that up.
446
00:15:18,121 --> 00:15:19,120
Salt in the wound.
447
00:15:19,122 --> 00:15:20,154
She left me.
448
00:15:20,156 --> 00:15:21,322
You know what I
did last night?
449
00:15:21,324 --> 00:15:22,457
I'm gonna tell you.
450
00:15:22,459 --> 00:15:24,359
I masturbated
to pornography
451
00:15:24,361 --> 00:15:27,829
that I had to draw on
the back of an envelope.
452
00:15:27,831 --> 00:15:29,130
(chuckles)
- Mmm.
453
00:15:29,132 --> 00:15:31,532
He's great with kids.
Who are you?
454
00:15:31,534 --> 00:15:33,501
I'm a Liza Minnelli
impersonator.
455
00:15:33,503 --> 00:15:35,370
¶ Ah... ¶
456
00:15:35,372 --> 00:15:36,571
So...
457
00:15:40,343 --> 00:15:42,210
Ah, guys, look,
I don't see much
458
00:15:42,212 --> 00:15:43,911
of the toothpick coming out.
459
00:15:43,913 --> 00:15:45,513
So, best move--
460
00:15:45,515 --> 00:15:47,849
push it all the way in,
and get it from the other side.
461
00:15:47,851 --> 00:15:49,050
Am I right? You guys agree?
462
00:15:49,052 --> 00:15:50,718
How could you guys
do this to me?
463
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,019
NICK:
We didn't do anything.
464
00:15:52,021 --> 00:15:53,054
You embarrassed
yourself.
465
00:15:53,056 --> 00:15:54,489
Actually, you embarrassed us.
466
00:15:54,491 --> 00:15:56,190
And you do it
all the time, Coach.
467
00:15:56,192 --> 00:15:58,593
Like how you sit on
the hood of your car
468
00:15:58,595 --> 00:16:00,862
when you pump
gas into it.
469
00:16:00,864 --> 00:16:02,663
I mean, what, are you in
Dukes of Hazzard, you idiot?
470
00:16:02,665 --> 00:16:05,500
I saw Isaiah Thomas do it on
a poster once, and it was cool.
471
00:16:05,502 --> 00:16:06,934
And what are you
laughing at, all right?
472
00:16:06,936 --> 00:16:09,070
What?
- You put ChapStick on
like a little girl
473
00:16:09,072 --> 00:16:10,605
putting on lipstick
for the first time.
474
00:16:10,607 --> 00:16:13,341
(chuckling):
It's way too much puckering.
475
00:16:13,343 --> 00:16:15,410
Winston, you know what,
you shut up.
Cold busted.
476
00:16:15,412 --> 00:16:17,912
You're the most embarrassing one
of our friends by far.
With your singing.
477
00:16:17,914 --> 00:16:19,113
Your outfits.
- And the crystals.
478
00:16:19,115 --> 00:16:20,415
Your mural.
- The mustache.
- Your fauxhawk.
479
00:16:20,417 --> 00:16:22,016
With your bell.
- Puzzles.
- Your cat.
480
00:16:22,018 --> 00:16:25,052
FYI-- you guys live
with the cat, too.
481
00:16:25,054 --> 00:16:27,188
But at least I get
to reap the benefits.
482
00:16:27,190 --> 00:16:28,389
(chuckles)
483
00:16:28,391 --> 00:16:29,924
That.
- (door opens)
484
00:16:31,928 --> 00:16:33,728
Ah.
- (chuckling):
Oh, oh.
485
00:16:33,730 --> 00:16:35,730
Look, it's not what
it looks like, my man.
486
00:16:35,732 --> 00:16:37,899
Um, we're just trying to squeeze
something out of my buddy.
487
00:16:37,901 --> 00:16:39,367
We'll be done
when it comes out.
488
00:16:39,369 --> 00:16:40,501
(clicks tongue)
489
00:16:42,405 --> 00:16:43,938
COACH: Well, maybe it's
not gonna work with May.
490
00:16:43,940 --> 00:16:45,940
She's too good for me.
491
00:16:45,942 --> 00:16:47,942
I should just go back
to having soulless sex
492
00:16:47,944 --> 00:16:49,944
with beautiful women I share
no emotional connection...
493
00:16:49,946 --> 00:16:51,379
(shouts)
- Oh!
494
00:16:51,381 --> 00:16:52,480
All my hard work.
495
00:16:52,482 --> 00:16:53,781
May didn't start liking you
496
00:16:53,783 --> 00:16:55,783
because you play
some dumb instrument.
497
00:16:55,785 --> 00:16:58,152
She started liking you
because you're cocky.
498
00:16:58,154 --> 00:16:59,654
And you're funny.
499
00:16:59,656 --> 00:17:01,155
What, you're
afraid of her
500
00:17:01,157 --> 00:17:02,890
because she plays the
standing-up guitar?
501
00:17:02,892 --> 00:17:04,826
He's right, Coach, I don't know
why we're trying so hard
502
00:17:04,828 --> 00:17:06,160
to make you fit in here.
503
00:17:06,162 --> 00:17:07,161
You're Coach,
504
00:17:07,163 --> 00:17:09,063
sex in a sweat suit.
Yeah.
505
00:17:09,065 --> 00:17:11,632
If I've taught you one thing,
it's lead out with confidence.
506
00:17:11,634 --> 00:17:14,068
Follow up with comedy.
507
00:17:14,070 --> 00:17:17,071
And number trey, your home run,
your triple--
508
00:17:17,073 --> 00:17:18,639
have great looks.
509
00:17:18,641 --> 00:17:20,975
I got 'em,
and I passed them on to you.
510
00:17:20,977 --> 00:17:23,578
So get out there, you
beautiful peacock.
511
00:17:23,580 --> 00:17:25,847
Shake your tail feathers.
512
00:17:25,849 --> 00:17:28,282
I mean, I'd rather not get these
compliments with my pants down,
513
00:17:28,284 --> 00:17:30,017
but appreciate it.
514
00:17:30,019 --> 00:17:32,653
Paul, you don't have to do this
if you don't want to.
515
00:17:32,655 --> 00:17:34,489
You don't have to clown
for these people.
516
00:17:34,491 --> 00:17:35,590
Yes, you do.
517
00:17:35,592 --> 00:17:36,691
She said...
518
00:17:36,693 --> 00:17:38,526
Open yourself up
to the journey.
519
00:17:38,528 --> 00:17:40,862
Look, if Taylor Swift can
live alone in New York,
520
00:17:40,864 --> 00:17:42,263
just think
what you can do.
521
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,933
The only thing
stopping you is you.
522
00:17:47,537 --> 00:17:49,871
Yeah.
523
00:17:49,873 --> 00:17:51,706
Ma'am, I will not
clown for you today.
524
00:17:51,708 --> 00:17:53,341
Or any day thereafter.
525
00:17:54,377 --> 00:17:56,277
What are you doing?
526
00:17:56,279 --> 00:17:58,880
I am going on a journey.
527
00:17:58,882 --> 00:18:00,882
This is my freaking journey.
528
00:18:00,884 --> 00:18:02,950
(squeaking)
529
00:18:02,952 --> 00:18:04,986
We're taking back
the morning.
- (whoops)
530
00:18:04,988 --> 00:18:07,054
JESS: Happy birthday
to your little one.
531
00:18:14,664 --> 00:18:17,665
May, we run in
different circles.
532
00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:19,534
My circle's not even
really a circle.
533
00:18:19,536 --> 00:18:22,670
It's more of a swirling
mass of idiots.
534
00:18:22,672 --> 00:18:24,639
But, uh, that's me.
535
00:18:24,641 --> 00:18:26,140
Yeah, you didn't have
to come back in here
536
00:18:26,142 --> 00:18:27,208
to tell me
you were an idiot.
537
00:18:27,210 --> 00:18:28,576
No.
538
00:18:28,578 --> 00:18:31,312
What I need to tell
you is I like you.
539
00:18:31,314 --> 00:18:34,148
And that, um...
540
00:18:34,150 --> 00:18:36,150
and that I hate
classical music.
541
00:18:36,152 --> 00:18:37,818
I'm sorry, I
do-- I hate it.
542
00:18:37,820 --> 00:18:39,687
I mean, there's so many better
kinds of music now, it's...
543
00:18:39,689 --> 00:18:41,322
Okay.
- You know?
544
00:18:41,324 --> 00:18:44,158
But if you're playing
it, I want to listen.
545
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,260
'Cause you mean a lot to me.
All right.
546
00:18:49,899 --> 00:18:53,234
I'm gonna play you a song,
and if you can name it...
547
00:18:53,236 --> 00:18:55,202
(sighs)
then we can give this
another shot.
548
00:18:55,204 --> 00:18:57,672
If you don't want to do this,
just... it's... I'm fine.
549
00:18:57,674 --> 00:19:00,575
(plays Johnny Pearson's
"Heavy Action")
550
00:19:13,523 --> 00:19:14,755
That's Monday Night Football!
551
00:19:14,757 --> 00:19:16,991
Yeah, I learned it for you.
552
00:19:21,230 --> 00:19:22,229
All right. Oh.
553
00:19:22,231 --> 00:19:23,230
Oh, sorry.
554
00:19:23,232 --> 00:19:24,298
That poked me.
555
00:19:25,301 --> 00:19:26,567
Okay.
556
00:19:26,569 --> 00:19:27,969
No, just don't touch it,
don't touch it.
557
00:19:27,971 --> 00:19:28,970
Okay, okay, okay.
558
00:19:28,972 --> 00:19:30,805
But okay.
- Okay.
559
00:19:40,917 --> 00:19:42,950
Los Angeles!
(shoes squeaking)
560
00:19:42,952 --> 00:19:44,919
We are sluts and we are clowns!
561
00:19:44,921 --> 00:19:46,821
But we are not losers!
562
00:19:46,823 --> 00:19:48,222
We are not losers!
- Yes!
563
00:19:48,224 --> 00:19:49,657
No, we're adventurers!
564
00:19:49,659 --> 00:19:51,826
Shame, shame,
I know your name.
565
00:19:51,828 --> 00:19:53,894
Ah... yo, Nicholas!
566
00:19:53,896 --> 00:19:55,262
Hey, Genzlinger!
567
00:19:55,264 --> 00:19:56,297
I miss you, man!
568
00:19:56,299 --> 00:19:57,598
Great shoes!
569
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,166
Guess what, guys,
I'm still here.
570
00:19:59,168 --> 00:20:00,601
Take that,
Lyme's disease!
571
00:20:00,603 --> 00:20:02,069
Cecilia, what is that shirt?
572
00:20:02,071 --> 00:20:03,237
"The man, the legend"?
573
00:20:03,239 --> 00:20:04,972
Oh, I think
you've met the legend.
574
00:20:04,974 --> 00:20:06,641
Hey, you guys want a ride?!
575
00:20:06,643 --> 00:20:07,675
Yeah!
- Nah!
576
00:20:07,677 --> 00:20:09,110
No.
577
00:20:09,112 --> 00:20:10,945
No, we've made it this far.
578
00:20:10,947 --> 00:20:12,647
We're just gonna
carry on through.
579
00:20:12,649 --> 00:20:14,281
Yeah, that's right,
that's right.
- Yeah.
580
00:20:14,283 --> 00:20:15,616
Take that,
City of Angels!
581
00:20:15,618 --> 00:20:17,618
For the true
angels are we!
582
00:20:17,620 --> 00:20:18,953
Yes!
583
00:20:18,955 --> 00:20:20,821
Charisma, we didn't
waste your blow-out!
584
00:20:20,823 --> 00:20:22,523
I know we are having
a moment here.
585
00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:24,325
Just take it down
a notch, Jess.
586
00:20:24,327 --> 00:20:25,493
(elevator dings)
587
00:20:25,495 --> 00:20:26,694
Oh, thank God
we made it.
588
00:20:26,696 --> 00:20:27,862
BEAR CLAW:
Uh, Jess.
589
00:20:27,864 --> 00:20:29,664
You forgot your purse.
590
00:20:29,666 --> 00:20:30,865
I didn't look inside.
591
00:20:30,867 --> 00:20:32,633
(whispering):
But I did feel around.
592
00:20:32,635 --> 00:20:34,568
Thanks, Bear Claw.
593
00:20:36,806 --> 00:20:41,208
¶ The forest is very lonely
for a thing like he ¶
594
00:20:41,210 --> 00:20:43,144
¶ I'm a gay wolf ¶
595
00:20:43,146 --> 00:20:44,979
¶ He's a gay wolf ¶
596
00:20:44,981 --> 00:20:47,048
¶ The creatures of the forest ¶
597
00:20:47,050 --> 00:20:49,684
COACH: N-N-N-No,
don't go out there, don't.
¶ Are set in their ways ¶
598
00:20:49,686 --> 00:20:52,219
Oh.
¶ It's very hard to be ¶
599
00:20:52,221 --> 00:20:53,854
¶ An animal gay ¶
600
00:20:53,856 --> 00:20:55,122
¶ Today ¶
601
00:20:55,124 --> 00:20:56,891
This is super
embarrassing.
602
00:20:56,893 --> 00:20:57,858
Yeah.
603
00:20:57,860 --> 00:20:58,893
¶ Today ¶
604
00:20:58,895 --> 00:21:01,195
(howls)
605
00:21:01,197 --> 00:21:04,198
It's why I didn't want
to come out here.
606
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,533
We should go
to a minor next
607
00:21:05,535 --> 00:21:06,534
to really feel
the sadness
608
00:21:06,536 --> 00:21:07,668
and isolation.
- No.
609
00:21:07,670 --> 00:21:09,070
Yeah, he just wants
to be accepted, May.
610
00:21:09,072 --> 00:21:10,504
Yeah, got it,
love that.
611
00:21:10,506 --> 00:21:13,040
JESS:
¶ He runs with the pack ¶
612
00:21:13,042 --> 00:21:14,875
¶ All day long ¶
613
00:21:14,877 --> 00:21:16,544
¶ Inside of him ¶
Ah, this is too much.
614
00:21:16,546 --> 00:21:18,746
¶ Is a sad, sad song ¶
615
00:21:18,748 --> 00:21:23,751
¶ He's a gay wolf all alone ¶
616
00:21:23,753 --> 00:21:25,219
¶ But wait ¶
617
00:21:25,221 --> 00:21:27,888
¶ I'm a gay wolf,
too ¶
618
00:21:27,890 --> 00:21:31,726
¶ Would you like to eat
some wolf Chinese food? ¶
619
00:21:31,728 --> 00:21:33,728
¶ Only if it's gay. ¶
620
00:21:33,730 --> 00:21:35,396
Clap now. Clap now.
Thank you.
621
00:21:35,398 --> 00:21:36,564
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org