1 00:00:02,742 --> 00:00:04,949 Ben? Everyone gets opening night jitters! 2 00:00:06,325 --> 00:00:07,366 I'm good. 3 00:00:07,367 --> 00:00:08,658 My review was going to be a pan. 4 00:00:08,659 --> 00:00:11,908 This one... just didn't sing. 5 00:00:11,909 --> 00:00:13,990 NYPD, motherfuckers! 6 00:00:13,991 --> 00:00:15,990 The stalker, he didn't do it! 7 00:00:15,991 --> 00:00:18,783 The killer is someone in this room. 8 00:00:18,784 --> 00:00:21,282 We've got to get in on those interviews. 9 00:00:21,283 --> 00:00:24,200 The spooky sound from opening night. 10 00:00:24,201 --> 00:00:26,240 Someone was in here shredding something. 11 00:00:26,241 --> 00:00:28,367 We need to reassemble these. There might be a clue. 12 00:00:28,867 --> 00:00:31,783 We have the interrogations on tape. 13 00:00:31,784 --> 00:00:33,491 We recorded everything. 14 00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,658 You don't owe me any explanation. 15 00:00:35,659 --> 00:00:37,532 Th-The book is a little odd. 16 00:00:37,533 --> 00:00:39,200 These aren't photos of Ben. 17 00:00:39,325 --> 00:00:40,658 They're photos of Dickie. 18 00:00:40,659 --> 00:00:44,407 When he was gone for those brief moments, I felt free. 19 00:00:44,408 --> 00:00:45,949 And then he was back. 20 00:00:45,950 --> 00:00:48,199 I couldn't take it anymore. 21 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,074 You spend your whole life looking out for your child, 22 00:00:50,075 --> 00:00:52,699 and you'll do anything to make sure they're okay. 23 00:00:54,742 --> 00:00:56,908 Wait! I did it. I killed Ben. 24 00:00:56,909 --> 00:00:58,616 No, you can't do this! Leave her alone! 25 00:00:59,867 --> 00:01:01,158 Oh, my God... 26 00:01:01,159 --> 00:01:02,283 Oliver? 27 00:01:02,284 --> 00:01:03,575 What's going on? Oliver! 28 00:01:03,909 --> 00:01:05,409 - Somebody! Get some help! - Oliver, wake up. 29 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:15,616 When I was 10, 30 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:18,575 my future looked so clear to me. 31 00:01:19,283 --> 00:01:21,033 Married to Josh Hartnett, 32 00:01:21,950 --> 00:01:25,450 with two kids, driving a Honda Odyssey. 33 00:01:27,033 --> 00:01:28,617 Not a bad life. 34 00:01:30,033 --> 00:01:31,866 Got another one coming. Push. 35 00:01:31,867 --> 00:01:34,866 Wait, what's going on? There's been a mistake. 36 00:01:34,867 --> 00:01:37,115 I came here to see one of my friends. 37 00:01:37,116 --> 00:01:38,491 He had a heart attack. 38 00:01:38,492 --> 00:01:39,532 Don't worry. 39 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:40,866 You did great with the first two. 40 00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:43,199 Just keep pushing. You're having triplets. 41 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,282 No, I'm... Triplets? 42 00:01:45,283 --> 00:01:49,533 And now, baby three! 43 00:01:50,533 --> 00:01:53,157 But here's the thing about childhood fantasies. 44 00:01:53,158 --> 00:01:55,240 They almost never come true. 45 00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:57,115 Congratulations. 46 00:01:57,116 --> 00:01:59,115 It's a podcast. 47 00:01:59,116 --> 00:02:01,282 - Wah! - Mama! 48 00:02:01,283 --> 00:02:03,115 - Wah! Wah! - Mabel... Mabel. 49 00:02:03,116 --> 00:02:05,282 - Mabel! Mabel! - Wah! 50 00:02:05,283 --> 00:02:07,407 Mabel! 51 00:02:07,408 --> 00:02:09,115 The doctor said I can finally go home. 52 00:02:09,116 --> 00:02:10,157 - What? - Yeah. 53 00:02:10,158 --> 00:02:11,200 No. No, no, no. 54 00:02:11,617 --> 00:02:13,908 The man had a full-on heart attack five days ago. 55 00:02:13,909 --> 00:02:15,366 You rush him in here, 56 00:02:15,367 --> 00:02:17,866 stick in a stent to prop up his creaky artery... 57 00:02:17,867 --> 00:02:19,616 - Nobody said creaky. - Now, you're just gonna go 58 00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:21,366 and send him off into the world? 59 00:02:21,367 --> 00:02:22,990 Mabel, I need to get back. 60 00:02:22,991 --> 00:02:24,658 My show opens in two days, 61 00:02:24,659 --> 00:02:26,699 and my star is about to be charged with murder. 62 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:29,074 Doctor, maybe you should just run a few more tests to be sure? 63 00:02:29,075 --> 00:02:31,866 His body responded very well to the stent. 64 00:02:31,867 --> 00:02:34,532 Although I'm sure it was quite a scare for all of you. 65 00:02:34,533 --> 00:02:36,032 I wasn't scared. 66 00:02:36,033 --> 00:02:37,491 Oh, is that so? 67 00:02:37,492 --> 00:02:39,407 You know, I was just pretending to be unconscious 68 00:02:39,408 --> 00:02:40,658 when I heard you wailing, 69 00:02:40,659 --> 00:02:42,699 "I can't let him go! 70 00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:45,449 Come back to me, you sweet son of a bitch!" 71 00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:47,199 I was doing a performance for the nurses. 72 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,908 They're big fans of mine. What am I gonna do? 73 00:02:48,909 --> 00:02:50,491 Not be Charles-Haden Savage? 74 00:02:50,492 --> 00:02:52,491 Oh, admit it. You're obsessed with me. 75 00:02:52,492 --> 00:02:54,699 Can't believe I actually missed this. 76 00:02:55,867 --> 00:02:57,824 Come on, Putnam. We've got work to do. 77 00:02:57,825 --> 00:02:59,241 - Yes, yes, yes. - Let's go. 78 00:03:00,158 --> 00:03:01,366 For starters, 79 00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:05,199 if Loretta made up her confession to protect her son, 80 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,324 don't we need to prove that her son 81 00:03:07,325 --> 00:03:09,532 is Ben's real killer to get her out? 82 00:03:09,533 --> 00:03:11,158 Loretta's been in jail a few days now. 83 00:03:11,283 --> 00:03:12,990 I wonder if she's shaved her head 84 00:03:12,991 --> 00:03:14,492 and gotten all jacked. 85 00:03:14,991 --> 00:03:16,699 I can't let her take the fall for this. 86 00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:17,908 She's the love of my life. 87 00:03:17,909 --> 00:03:20,574 Love? I thought you were just hooking up. 88 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:23,240 Oh, we hooked up. 89 00:03:23,241 --> 00:03:25,282 We hooked up big time. 90 00:03:25,283 --> 00:03:28,324 We hooked up and down and every which direction. 91 00:03:28,325 --> 00:03:29,658 - You name a way, we did a hook. - Okay, alright, thank you. 92 00:03:29,659 --> 00:03:33,324 Enough. Okay. I promise we will get her home to you. 93 00:03:33,325 --> 00:03:35,407 No matter how many face tattoos she has now. 94 00:03:35,408 --> 00:03:37,491 Eh-eh Charles, did you learn anything 95 00:03:37,492 --> 00:03:40,658 from those police interrogations we so skillfully recorded? 96 00:03:40,659 --> 00:03:42,282 Actually, we haven't watched them yet. 97 00:03:42,283 --> 00:03:44,449 We were sitting by your bedside this whole time. 98 00:03:44,450 --> 00:03:47,240 Mabel wanted to wait so you could be a part of it. 99 00:03:47,241 --> 00:03:48,241 Little softy. 100 00:03:48,242 --> 00:03:49,783 - Aw! - Uh, no! I... 101 00:03:49,784 --> 00:03:51,449 I didn't... It wasn't like I was like, 102 00:03:51,450 --> 00:03:53,157 "Let's hold hands and watch it together." 103 00:03:53,158 --> 00:03:54,158 It was just like... 104 00:03:55,241 --> 00:03:56,367 Shut up. 105 00:03:56,533 --> 00:03:59,366 Okay, we're focusing on Dickie. 106 00:03:59,367 --> 00:04:01,990 Loretta clearly thinks that he's guilty. 107 00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:04,574 That's why she confessed to protect him. 108 00:04:04,575 --> 00:04:06,032 Ben was poisoned, 109 00:04:06,033 --> 00:04:08,366 and then later pushed down the elevator shaft. 110 00:04:08,367 --> 00:04:13,250 But, we don't know whose hanky he was holding onto when he died. 111 00:04:13,251 --> 00:04:15,075 I mean, it could be Dickie's. 112 00:04:15,575 --> 00:04:17,532 We know that someone wrote "fucking pig," 113 00:04:17,533 --> 00:04:19,074 in lipstick on his mirror, 114 00:04:19,075 --> 00:04:21,199 and we have footage of him in a heated moment 115 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,032 talking to an unseen person, 116 00:04:23,033 --> 00:04:24,699 possibly a lover. 117 00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:26,741 C-Can we just take a beat 118 00:04:26,742 --> 00:04:28,408 to appreciate how magical this is? 119 00:04:29,075 --> 00:04:30,075 The three of us, 120 00:04:30,076 --> 00:04:31,366 reunited at last, 121 00:04:31,367 --> 00:04:32,741 investigating as one. 122 00:04:32,742 --> 00:04:36,199 Mabel, you stayed faithful to the podcast. 123 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,741 You should take the lead. 124 00:04:37,742 --> 00:04:39,949 Uh, just... the besties are back. 125 00:04:39,950 --> 00:04:42,115 Ooh! That should be our opening line! 126 00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:44,074 You just said Mabel should take the lead. 127 00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:46,074 Can't I make a suggestion? 128 00:04:46,075 --> 00:04:48,491 I narrowly escaped death, and now you won't let me live? 129 00:04:48,492 --> 00:04:50,699 Oh, wah, wah. 130 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:52,699 - Wah, wah! - Wah, wah! 131 00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:54,699 Oh, this is fucking weird. 132 00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:58,032 Okay, okay. The besties are back. 133 00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:01,616 The besties are back. 134 00:05:01,617 --> 00:05:03,866 It may take two to tango, 135 00:05:03,867 --> 00:05:09,324 but it takes three to solve the murder of an ill-fated movie star. 136 00:05:09,325 --> 00:05:11,990 Welcome to a brand-new episode of 137 00:05:11,991 --> 00:05:14,032 Only Murders in the Building. 138 00:05:14,033 --> 00:05:15,033 Perfection. 139 00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:08,115 Let's just question Dickie 140 00:06:08,116 --> 00:06:10,115 without spilling that Loretta's his mother. 141 00:06:10,116 --> 00:06:11,824 - It's not our place to tell him. - Right. 142 00:06:13,283 --> 00:06:14,408 Oh! 143 00:06:17,617 --> 00:06:18,659 This one's for you. 144 00:06:19,283 --> 00:06:21,157 Why do you still have packages coming here? 145 00:06:21,158 --> 00:06:23,115 Our geriatric doorman obviously forgot 146 00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,533 I'm back from the hospital. 147 00:06:25,075 --> 00:06:26,532 Lester's six months younger than you. 148 00:06:26,533 --> 00:06:29,240 "Get well soon and find me a new leading lady. 149 00:06:29,241 --> 00:06:30,825 Smooches, Donna." 150 00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:34,616 We are not gonna need a new leading lady. 151 00:06:34,617 --> 00:06:35,617 Oh, my God. 152 00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:40,825 Joy's wedding dress. 153 00:06:41,784 --> 00:06:43,824 She had her mom send the one she was married in, 154 00:06:43,825 --> 00:06:46,408 so Joy could have it altered for when she and I were... 155 00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:50,158 - I'll take this. - Yeah. 156 00:06:51,325 --> 00:06:53,366 Joy's mom is still alive? 157 00:06:53,367 --> 00:06:55,616 Oh, yeah. Her dad, too. In fact, 158 00:06:55,617 --> 00:06:57,074 he was gonna walk her down the aisle 159 00:06:57,075 --> 00:06:58,116 holding her childhood dog. 160 00:06:59,283 --> 00:07:01,574 We ready to go? Uh, clock's ticking. 161 00:07:01,575 --> 00:07:03,158 Okay. 162 00:07:07,492 --> 00:07:08,824 So, Loretta, huh? 163 00:07:08,825 --> 00:07:10,407 - I did not see that coming. - Yeah. 164 00:07:10,408 --> 00:07:11,866 Yeah. Us neither. 165 00:07:11,867 --> 00:07:13,115 Hey, you wanna hear something funny? 166 00:07:13,116 --> 00:07:14,282 For a minute, 167 00:07:14,283 --> 00:07:15,658 we thought you did it. 168 00:07:17,533 --> 00:07:18,990 You did? Wh-Why? 169 00:07:18,991 --> 00:07:21,449 Ah, it's so dumb. 170 00:07:21,450 --> 00:07:23,491 We, um, we just know 171 00:07:23,492 --> 00:07:25,407 - he stole CoBro from you. - Uh-huh. 172 00:07:25,408 --> 00:07:26,742 Oh. 173 00:07:27,408 --> 00:07:29,408 Shit. Really? 174 00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:34,032 Okay. Yeah, I was resentful. 175 00:07:34,033 --> 00:07:37,699 Yeah, and you told me you cover up things, 176 00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:41,324 so I kinda figured you covered up his blood work 177 00:07:41,325 --> 00:07:43,575 to hide the poison in his system. 178 00:07:44,116 --> 00:07:45,408 I did do that. 179 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,157 I mean, I didn't know he was poisoned when I did it. 180 00:07:48,158 --> 00:07:49,741 I just knew there was other stuff in there 181 00:07:49,742 --> 00:07:51,116 he wouldn't want getting out. 182 00:07:52,158 --> 00:07:53,407 Wait, you believe me, right? 183 00:07:53,408 --> 00:07:55,491 Oh, of course. Yes. 184 00:07:55,492 --> 00:07:57,157 Out of, uh, curiosity, 185 00:07:57,158 --> 00:08:00,324 where were you when Ben was pushed to his death? 186 00:08:00,325 --> 00:08:02,324 Because you weren't pushing him, obviously. 187 00:08:02,325 --> 00:08:05,783 E-Everyone knows that. But, uh, unless... 188 00:08:05,784 --> 00:08:07,491 I left your party early. 189 00:08:07,492 --> 00:08:11,032 I was freaked the fuck out that Ben came back to life, 190 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:12,659 and I had to get outta there. 191 00:08:13,825 --> 00:08:15,450 So, I... 192 00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:20,115 I got wasted, put on Ben's CoBro suit, 193 00:08:20,116 --> 00:08:22,241 and went looking for drugs and whores. 194 00:08:22,825 --> 00:08:24,949 - Well, who wouldn't? - Wow. 195 00:08:24,950 --> 00:08:26,658 Why should he have all the fun? 196 00:08:26,659 --> 00:08:28,616 That's what Ben was into? 197 00:08:28,617 --> 00:08:31,990 Every Thursday, he'd disappear for hours. 198 00:08:31,991 --> 00:08:33,032 And when I asked about it, 199 00:08:33,033 --> 00:08:35,575 he'd say, "Snitches get stitches." 200 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:39,866 So, I tracked his phone to a place on Broadway 201 00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:42,032 between 35th and 36th, 202 00:08:42,033 --> 00:08:43,700 where he'd go to... 203 00:08:44,408 --> 00:08:47,449 do sex with his "five whores," 204 00:08:47,450 --> 00:08:50,783 as he so affectionately called them. 205 00:08:50,784 --> 00:08:53,449 He even saved opening night seats for them. 206 00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:57,407 Uh, Trixie, Marigold, Emerald, Dot, and Mei Mei. 207 00:08:57,408 --> 00:08:59,115 Here. 208 00:09:03,617 --> 00:09:05,824 I was outside, screaming for them 209 00:09:05,825 --> 00:09:07,908 to bring me the five whores. 210 00:09:07,909 --> 00:09:10,074 I slept there all night. 211 00:09:10,075 --> 00:09:11,659 A dog peed on me. 212 00:09:12,825 --> 00:09:14,367 I hope it was a dog. 213 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,616 This is proof you weren't at the Arconia 214 00:09:17,617 --> 00:09:18,908 when Ben was pushed. 215 00:09:18,909 --> 00:09:21,282 The cops got that image from a security camera 216 00:09:21,283 --> 00:09:22,990 after I told them where I was, 217 00:09:22,991 --> 00:09:24,699 but they didn't really buy it as an alibi, 218 00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:26,825 since you can't fully see my face. 219 00:09:27,575 --> 00:09:30,575 I guess I should just be grateful there isn't audio. 220 00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:35,533 I just can't believe Loretta did it. 221 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:36,949 Well, for what it's worth, 222 00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:39,617 w-we don't think she really did do it. 223 00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:42,533 But why else would she confess? 224 00:09:43,158 --> 00:09:45,491 - No idea. - Oh, yeah, theater folk, cuckoo! 225 00:09:47,617 --> 00:09:48,742 Wait a minute. 226 00:09:50,158 --> 00:09:51,783 If you guys think the killer's still out there, 227 00:09:51,784 --> 00:09:53,867 I should probably call my lawyer. 228 00:09:54,742 --> 00:09:55,825 Um... 229 00:09:57,850 --> 00:09:58,908 Hm. 230 00:09:59,910 --> 00:10:01,866 Guys, if he's telling the truth, 231 00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:03,282 he couldn't have pushed Ben. 232 00:10:03,283 --> 00:10:05,032 That means that Loretta gave herself up 233 00:10:05,033 --> 00:10:06,491 for someone who didn't even do it. 234 00:10:06,492 --> 00:10:08,074 If we can find the real killer in time, 235 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:11,032 maybe we can convince Loretta to take back her confession. 236 00:10:11,033 --> 00:10:13,199 Charles, her arraignment is at 5:00 p.m. 237 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,532 We need to figure out what Ben was doing 238 00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:16,783 and who he was seeing 239 00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:19,449 in the last few days leading up to his death. 240 00:10:19,450 --> 00:10:22,115 I say we start at Broadway and 35th. 241 00:10:22,116 --> 00:10:24,199 Except we can't just walk into a brothel 242 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,449 without a reservation. 243 00:10:27,991 --> 00:10:29,616 I know what we need. 244 00:10:29,617 --> 00:10:31,908 Nobody stops a guy with a ladder! 245 00:10:31,909 --> 00:10:33,199 It gets you in anywhere. 246 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,282 So the ladder's the new turkey. 247 00:10:35,283 --> 00:10:37,032 It might work better if the guy carrying the ladder 248 00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:38,824 wasn't also wearing orthopedic shoes 249 00:10:38,825 --> 00:10:40,949 - and dressed like a leprechaun. - Hm! 250 00:10:40,950 --> 00:10:42,408 Hey! Hey, this is it. 251 00:10:44,075 --> 00:10:46,491 Snitches Get Stitches? 252 00:10:46,492 --> 00:10:47,908 It's a fabric shop. 253 00:10:47,909 --> 00:10:50,240 No, no, no, no, no. It's a front. 254 00:10:50,241 --> 00:10:53,449 Brothels always use puns to name their fake businesses. 255 00:10:53,450 --> 00:10:55,824 I learned that by wandering in the back of a cabinet shop 256 00:10:55,825 --> 00:10:57,949 called All By My Shelf. 257 00:10:57,950 --> 00:11:00,282 Follow my lead! Let the ladder do the work. 258 00:11:00,283 --> 00:11:02,324 Wait a second! I have a better way in. 259 00:11:02,325 --> 00:11:03,908 No one says no to a crying man. 260 00:11:03,909 --> 00:11:06,324 I did a scene in Brazzos, episode 315. 261 00:11:06,325 --> 00:11:08,616 The Foreign Exchange Killer. It was a good one. 262 00:11:08,617 --> 00:11:11,115 And I cried a single solitary tear. 263 00:11:11,116 --> 00:11:13,990 And that week, our fan mail went sky high. 264 00:11:13,991 --> 00:11:15,908 Mostly from men. You wanna know why? 265 00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,366 You helped them access their inner feelings. 266 00:11:18,367 --> 00:11:19,949 Yes. 267 00:11:19,950 --> 00:11:21,741 But just gimme a go. Gimme the stage. 268 00:11:21,742 --> 00:11:23,449 No, no, no. No. 269 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:26,200 - Me first. - Stop it! 270 00:11:27,367 --> 00:11:29,824 Just here to change a light bulb! 271 00:11:29,825 --> 00:11:31,616 No, you can't go back there. 272 00:11:31,617 --> 00:11:33,742 Of course not, dude. 273 00:11:34,784 --> 00:11:37,115 We all know what's going on in the back room. 274 00:11:37,116 --> 00:11:38,574 Wink, wink. 275 00:11:38,575 --> 00:11:40,909 But did you see my ladder? 276 00:11:49,492 --> 00:11:51,032 I'm sorry. Is my crying upsetting you? 277 00:11:51,033 --> 00:11:52,574 You're not crying. 278 00:11:52,575 --> 00:11:54,282 Give it a minute. 279 00:12:00,116 --> 00:12:01,491 This guy's made of stone. 280 00:12:01,492 --> 00:12:03,282 Do you have any menthol for under the eyes? 281 00:12:03,283 --> 00:12:05,200 Yeah, I have a bucket of menthol. 282 00:12:09,784 --> 00:12:13,033 Do you need a restroom? We have one in the back. 283 00:12:13,784 --> 00:12:16,032 Oh! Thank you so much. Get in there. 284 00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:17,115 Thanks. 285 00:12:17,116 --> 00:12:18,200 Ooh! 286 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:25,491 You're the five whores? 287 00:12:25,492 --> 00:12:28,032 Please ignore him! 288 00:12:28,033 --> 00:12:30,824 I'm sorry. We were just looking for a group of women 289 00:12:30,825 --> 00:12:32,658 - who might have known Ben Glenroy. - Yeah, yeah. 290 00:12:32,659 --> 00:12:34,199 - But we'll just get out of the way. - Sorry. 291 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,491 Benny! 292 00:12:35,492 --> 00:12:38,199 Oh, yes! We knew him! 293 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:41,658 Our sewing circle met here every Thursday. 294 00:12:41,659 --> 00:12:44,866 Benny said sewing kept him off 295 00:12:44,867 --> 00:12:47,450 all those dangerous street drugs. 296 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,950 We miss him terribly. 297 00:12:53,241 --> 00:12:54,658 When was the last time you saw him? 298 00:12:54,659 --> 00:12:56,491 Oh, um, 299 00:12:56,492 --> 00:13:00,449 his big opening night of Death Rattle. 300 00:13:02,784 --> 00:13:04,366 We'd stayed up all night 301 00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,074 helping him sew 302 00:13:06,075 --> 00:13:09,866 these lovely hankies for his cast and crew 303 00:13:09,867 --> 00:13:11,784 while running lines. 304 00:13:12,283 --> 00:13:15,699 "Everyone else in that lighthouse is dead, Nanny. 305 00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:19,616 So the killer is either you, me, or the baby." 306 00:13:19,617 --> 00:13:24,949 "I wouldn't bet on that baby, detective." 307 00:13:24,950 --> 00:13:28,074 He wanted to make something special for them, 308 00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:30,032 something personal. 309 00:13:30,033 --> 00:13:32,990 He said he treated a lot of them 310 00:13:32,991 --> 00:13:36,033 like a steaming pile of cow manure. 311 00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:40,032 We finished those hankies just in time, 312 00:13:40,033 --> 00:13:42,616 and off Benny went to the theater. 313 00:13:42,617 --> 00:13:43,824 Thank you. Thank you. 314 00:13:43,825 --> 00:13:45,532 I'm gonna see you all at the theater, ladies. 315 00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:47,324 - We're rooting for you. Bye. - Love you. 316 00:13:47,325 --> 00:13:48,991 But then... 317 00:13:49,867 --> 00:13:51,867 Mei Mei, my phone. 318 00:13:56,867 --> 00:13:59,032 Uh, hey! 319 00:13:59,033 --> 00:14:01,324 It's, uh, it's me. It's Benny. 320 00:14:01,325 --> 00:14:02,783 Um... 321 00:14:02,784 --> 00:14:05,491 Uh, a-are you guys coming to the show? 322 00:14:05,492 --> 00:14:07,990 I really need you t-to be here. 323 00:14:07,991 --> 00:14:10,366 Uh, I've just never felt... 324 00:14:10,367 --> 00:14:11,783 so alone. 325 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,990 Ben? 326 00:14:13,991 --> 00:14:16,157 Everyone gets opening night jitters! 327 00:14:16,158 --> 00:14:17,741 I can talk you through it. 328 00:14:17,742 --> 00:14:19,407 That's me just before curtain. 329 00:14:19,408 --> 00:14:21,199 I-I gotta go. Please get here soon. 330 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,199 I'm surrounded by people I can't trust. 331 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:24,492 They're all out to get me. 332 00:14:25,241 --> 00:14:28,199 It's so hard to hear him like that. 333 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:32,199 He was so excited for us to see the show. 334 00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:35,866 - Alright. Okay. Okay. - Thank you. 335 00:14:35,867 --> 00:14:38,158 - I'm sorry. - Thank you. Sorry. Thank you so much. 336 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,450 Oh, this... 337 00:14:41,533 --> 00:14:42,824 is a gift for you. 338 00:14:42,825 --> 00:14:45,366 - It's a, a ladder. Okay. - Oh, well, thank you! 339 00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:46,824 Sorry for calling you whores. 340 00:14:46,825 --> 00:14:48,908 Oh, that's alright. 341 00:14:48,909 --> 00:14:50,617 I used to be one. 342 00:14:51,742 --> 00:14:54,950 Okay. That's... interesting. Bye. 343 00:14:55,950 --> 00:14:57,366 So what happened from the time 344 00:14:57,367 --> 00:15:00,115 Ben arrived at the theater on top of the world, 345 00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:03,324 to leaving a distressed voicemail 346 00:15:03,325 --> 00:15:05,783 30 minutes later? I mean, 347 00:15:05,784 --> 00:15:07,574 who did he think was out to get him? 348 00:15:07,575 --> 00:15:09,824 I already know how we can find out. 349 00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:11,074 The interrogations. 350 00:15:11,075 --> 00:15:12,616 Williams questioned everyone 351 00:15:12,617 --> 00:15:14,491 who crossed paths with Ben that night, 352 00:15:14,492 --> 00:15:16,324 and we can use those interrogations 353 00:15:16,325 --> 00:15:18,825 to make a timeline of that 30 minutes! 354 00:15:19,909 --> 00:15:21,908 Ah! I knew you were due for a good idea 355 00:15:21,909 --> 00:15:23,658 since your last one six months ago. 356 00:15:23,659 --> 00:15:24,659 Huh? 357 00:15:24,742 --> 00:15:25,949 When you proposed we go halfsies 358 00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:27,783 on a New Yorker digital subscription. 359 00:15:27,784 --> 00:15:28,825 That was your idea. 360 00:15:28,950 --> 00:15:30,658 Oh, good. You owe me $32, 361 00:15:30,659 --> 00:15:32,407 and I'm keeping the free tote. 362 00:15:32,408 --> 00:15:34,032 Shh, guys. 363 00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,575 KT's up first. 364 00:15:36,450 --> 00:15:38,115 All actors must be at the theater 365 00:15:38,116 --> 00:15:39,824 for what we call "half hour." 366 00:15:39,825 --> 00:15:43,616 Boots on the ground 30 minutes before curtain. 367 00:15:43,617 --> 00:15:46,532 Not 28, not 29, 30. 368 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:49,699 Ben, of course, was late. 369 00:15:52,867 --> 00:15:54,990 Check it! I have gifts for everyone. 370 00:15:54,991 --> 00:15:57,949 Where the fuck have you been? Get into costume! 371 00:15:57,950 --> 00:15:59,199 Go! 372 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,032 KT sure knows how to kill a mood. 373 00:16:01,033 --> 00:16:04,200 Someone should really talk to her about her tone. 374 00:16:04,991 --> 00:16:06,616 Oh, the producer's son is up next. 375 00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:07,700 Oh, Cliff. 376 00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:11,616 I saw Ben right after KT yelled at him. 377 00:16:11,617 --> 00:16:13,658 Not a fan of her tone. 378 00:16:13,659 --> 00:16:16,324 Schmackary's? They're so good. 379 00:16:16,325 --> 00:16:17,990 Mom ordered them special. 380 00:16:17,991 --> 00:16:20,074 Check out the rattles. Can you even? 381 00:16:21,158 --> 00:16:22,532 You know what, get those away from me. 382 00:16:22,533 --> 00:16:23,991 I'm fasting till after the show. 383 00:16:25,283 --> 00:16:26,867 Wait! No. 384 00:16:27,742 --> 00:16:29,158 Let me just smell 'em. 385 00:16:30,283 --> 00:16:32,157 Oh, g... 386 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,867 I said get them away from me! 387 00:16:34,742 --> 00:16:37,949 Hey, listen. I need you to check on my five guests for tonight. 388 00:16:37,950 --> 00:16:41,533 Emerald, Trixie, Marigold, Dot, and Mei Mei. 389 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,700 The five whores. 390 00:16:44,909 --> 00:16:47,533 Sorry. I... Th-That's how I learned them in my brain. 391 00:16:48,325 --> 00:16:49,616 Charles, can you scooch a little? 392 00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:51,783 - Sure. - Thanks. 393 00:16:51,784 --> 00:16:54,367 So that's new. Ben was fasting before the show. 394 00:16:55,367 --> 00:16:57,032 Let's keep going. 395 00:16:57,033 --> 00:16:59,157 I'll admit, I was furious with Ben. 396 00:16:59,158 --> 00:17:00,908 I mean, who shows up late to his opening night? 397 00:17:00,909 --> 00:17:04,033 It was always something with him, which is why... 398 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:09,200 Loretta was encouraging me to leave him. 399 00:17:10,950 --> 00:17:12,949 I just... 400 00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:17,115 I just think you deserve so much better, you know? 401 00:17:17,116 --> 00:17:19,784 Look at your arm. Oh... 402 00:17:20,325 --> 00:17:22,324 These are stress hives. 403 00:17:22,325 --> 00:17:24,157 I call 'em "Benny bites." 404 00:17:25,617 --> 00:17:28,449 What about that cortisone cream I gave you? 405 00:17:28,450 --> 00:17:30,407 - Did you use that? - I did. 406 00:17:30,408 --> 00:17:34,199 How did we not get that she's his mother? 407 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,116 I feel she's about to give him a bottle. 408 00:17:36,909 --> 00:17:39,075 Doesn't Loretta look pretty? 409 00:17:39,909 --> 00:17:42,074 And did you make that list of bullet points 410 00:17:42,075 --> 00:17:43,783 to say when you quit? 411 00:17:43,784 --> 00:17:46,699 That always helps me, I tell you. 412 00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:47,990 Sure. Yeah. 413 00:17:47,991 --> 00:17:49,742 Uh-oh, incoming. 414 00:17:51,075 --> 00:17:53,116 - Hey! - You losers passing notes? 415 00:17:53,659 --> 00:17:56,158 Okay, I'm gonna go warm up. 416 00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:58,991 See you at fight call. 417 00:18:00,950 --> 00:18:02,950 Give it! 418 00:18:06,283 --> 00:18:07,533 Wait, what is this? 419 00:18:09,659 --> 00:18:10,700 Are you quitting? 420 00:18:11,283 --> 00:18:13,742 I was gonna wait till after the show. 421 00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,032 She, she put you up to this. 422 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:23,115 'Cause you know fucking Loretta, she's been... 423 00:18:23,116 --> 00:18:25,240 She's been driving a wedge between us from day one. 424 00:18:25,241 --> 00:18:27,325 It's not Loretta! It's you! 425 00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:28,866 I've spent my entire life 426 00:18:28,867 --> 00:18:31,240 catering to the great Ben Glenroy! 427 00:18:31,241 --> 00:18:34,032 Who we all know isn't exactly a delight to be around! 428 00:18:34,033 --> 00:18:35,990 See bullet point four! 429 00:18:35,991 --> 00:18:37,075 Ju... 430 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:39,491 You know what? Yeah, fine. Alright, fine. Go ahead. 431 00:18:39,492 --> 00:18:40,991 Fuck if I care! 432 00:18:43,283 --> 00:18:45,074 You're a lousy manager anyway. 433 00:18:45,075 --> 00:18:47,199 And you know what? And you're an even lousier brother. 434 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,491 I know you think you created it, 435 00:18:48,492 --> 00:18:50,492 but I am CoBro! 436 00:18:52,825 --> 00:18:54,449 Actually, no. You know what? 437 00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:56,282 The way you just betrayed me? 438 00:18:56,283 --> 00:18:58,199 I'm NoBro. 439 00:18:58,200 --> 00:18:59,990 Because I don't have a brother anymore. 440 00:19:07,158 --> 00:19:09,949 Loretta was encouraging Dickie to leave Ben? 441 00:19:09,950 --> 00:19:12,074 Messy, messy. Who's next? 442 00:19:12,075 --> 00:19:14,074 After Ben arrived, I went to KT's office 443 00:19:14,075 --> 00:19:15,700 to get the ritual broom. 444 00:19:16,283 --> 00:19:17,407 The door was locked, 445 00:19:17,408 --> 00:19:19,240 which I thought was odd. 446 00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:22,532 That's odd. 447 00:19:28,450 --> 00:19:30,990 I'll do a progress check on the shredder. 448 00:19:32,784 --> 00:19:36,699 And so, it was the brilliant Howard Francis Morris 449 00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:38,532 who cracked the case by... 450 00:19:38,533 --> 00:19:39,783 Oh, fuckity fuck! 451 00:19:42,116 --> 00:19:43,741 Howard says he needs more time. 452 00:19:43,742 --> 00:19:45,115 If I'm not mistaken, 453 00:19:45,116 --> 00:19:47,658 next up is Ben and Loretta's fight call rehearsal. 454 00:19:47,659 --> 00:19:50,616 Oh, she told me about this on our date. 455 00:19:50,617 --> 00:19:54,407 Well, Ben accused me of trying to steal Dickie from him. 456 00:19:54,408 --> 00:19:56,074 And this was just moments 457 00:19:56,075 --> 00:19:59,116 after he learned his brother was quitting. 458 00:20:03,617 --> 00:20:05,324 - You're late. - Whatever. 459 00:20:05,325 --> 00:20:06,700 Let's just do this. 460 00:20:07,784 --> 00:20:09,908 That's enough, Detective. 461 00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:11,741 I'm not gonna let you take that baby. 462 00:20:11,742 --> 00:20:13,866 You are just a nanny. 463 00:20:13,867 --> 00:20:16,240 You can't keep him. You're not the mother. 464 00:20:16,241 --> 00:20:19,074 He needs me to be his mother now. 465 00:20:19,075 --> 00:20:22,616 It's my job to protect him as if he were born of my own flesh! 466 00:20:22,617 --> 00:20:24,699 Wow, this dialogue really lines up. 467 00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:27,366 What are you... 468 00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:29,324 Stay out of our lives! 469 00:20:29,325 --> 00:20:30,784 - What? - I mean it! 470 00:20:30,909 --> 00:20:32,908 Stay the fuck away from my brother. 471 00:20:34,158 --> 00:20:35,908 He's been nothing but loyal to you! 472 00:20:35,909 --> 00:20:37,199 All you do is treat him like shit! 473 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,032 You weaseled your way into this production. 474 00:20:39,033 --> 00:20:41,324 No! Let me go, you fucking pig. 475 00:20:41,325 --> 00:20:43,407 Hey, look. There's me. 476 00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:44,741 God, I'm pale. 477 00:20:44,742 --> 00:20:45,908 What the hell's going on? 478 00:20:45,909 --> 00:20:47,616 Is that what I sound like? 479 00:20:47,617 --> 00:20:49,324 He attacked me! 480 00:20:49,325 --> 00:20:51,699 What? No, I didn't. We were rehearsing. 481 00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:54,699 - Stay out of it, fuckbag. - Hey! 482 00:20:57,909 --> 00:20:59,283 That's... 483 00:21:00,492 --> 00:21:01,991 My face! 484 00:21:07,241 --> 00:21:08,783 I still can't believe you hit him. 485 00:21:08,784 --> 00:21:11,032 Well, why don't you add "for good reason" to the board? 486 00:21:11,033 --> 00:21:13,699 Or "Charles punches Ben and he had it coming"? 487 00:21:13,700 --> 00:21:16,449 Anyway, this is where Joy comes in to touch up the bruise, 488 00:21:16,450 --> 00:21:17,949 which wasn't that bad anyway. 489 00:21:17,950 --> 00:21:19,532 Yeah, e-easy, Cassius. 490 00:21:19,533 --> 00:21:23,575 Joy leaves her lipstick behind in Ben's dressing room, and... 491 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,783 who's the next person to see him? 492 00:21:29,950 --> 00:21:31,449 I did see Ben, yes. 493 00:21:31,450 --> 00:21:35,157 It was right after I gave Cliff a little pep talk. 494 00:21:38,033 --> 00:21:40,032 My tummy is in knots. 495 00:21:40,033 --> 00:21:41,824 Oh, it's almost showtime. 496 00:21:41,825 --> 00:21:43,157 I've put everything into this play. 497 00:21:43,158 --> 00:21:44,282 I need it to be a hit. 498 00:21:44,283 --> 00:21:45,491 Oh, it will be. 499 00:21:45,492 --> 00:21:47,449 I won't let you fail, sweetie. 500 00:21:47,450 --> 00:21:49,616 Here's a kiss from Mommy. 501 00:21:49,617 --> 00:21:50,990 Hey! 502 00:21:50,991 --> 00:21:52,407 Wh-Where are my guests? 503 00:21:52,408 --> 00:21:53,658 I don't see them in their seats. 504 00:21:53,659 --> 00:21:55,616 Yeah, I think traffic's pretty bad. 505 00:21:55,617 --> 00:21:57,783 Something's happening at the UN. I don't know what. 506 00:21:57,784 --> 00:21:59,990 You know, I'm boycotting global politics 507 00:21:59,991 --> 00:22:01,575 until everyone just gets along. 508 00:22:02,533 --> 00:22:03,741 Fuck. 509 00:22:03,742 --> 00:22:05,240 I'm going to be straight with you, Ben. 510 00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:08,240 It's opening night, and you look like shit. 511 00:22:08,241 --> 00:22:09,866 Can you see a mark? 512 00:22:09,867 --> 00:22:10,949 What? 513 00:22:10,950 --> 00:22:12,990 It's f-fucking Charles and Loretta. 514 00:22:12,991 --> 00:22:14,616 I'm j... I'm, I'm done with them both! 515 00:22:14,617 --> 00:22:17,199 I don't know what's going on with you, darling, 516 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,407 but this is not a good energy. 517 00:22:19,408 --> 00:22:20,866 Go to your dressing room. 518 00:22:20,867 --> 00:22:22,532 Be nice to Ben. 519 00:22:22,533 --> 00:22:23,741 Do whatever it takes 520 00:22:23,742 --> 00:22:26,032 to get your ass ready to go on that stage. 521 00:22:26,033 --> 00:22:27,949 Alright. 522 00:22:29,533 --> 00:22:31,574 Oh, hey, you're here! 523 00:22:31,575 --> 00:22:33,491 Yeah, well, where the shit else would I be? 524 00:22:33,492 --> 00:22:34,949 Right. Well, how about we start shooting 525 00:22:34,950 --> 00:22:36,367 some behind-the-scenes stuff, huh? 526 00:22:36,950 --> 00:22:39,491 Look, dude, you know... I-I'm not an animal in your zoo. 527 00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:40,949 What? 528 00:22:40,950 --> 00:22:42,658 I'm doing the thing you're paying me to do. 529 00:22:42,659 --> 00:22:44,908 You know what? Not anymore. 530 00:22:44,909 --> 00:22:46,074 - Wait! - Gimme that! 531 00:22:46,075 --> 00:22:47,990 Why don't you fuck the fuck off? 532 00:22:47,991 --> 00:22:50,867 You know what? Fucking happy to! 533 00:23:00,492 --> 00:23:03,449 So, Ben takes Tobert's camera 534 00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:04,699 into his dressing room 535 00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:06,866 where he's caught talking to somebody. 536 00:23:06,867 --> 00:23:08,282 Watch. 537 00:23:09,909 --> 00:23:12,367 I want you so fuckin' bad. 538 00:23:14,367 --> 00:23:16,742 But you're gonna ruin my career. 539 00:23:17,784 --> 00:23:19,240 And I'm gonna like it. 540 00:23:19,241 --> 00:23:21,074 Who the hell is he talking to? 541 00:23:21,075 --> 00:23:23,449 Everyone's accounted for. 542 00:23:23,450 --> 00:23:26,741 This, my friends, is what we call a dead end. 543 00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:33,825 I told Ben, "I know what you did." 544 00:23:35,367 --> 00:23:37,367 But I didn't have the whole picture. 545 00:23:38,367 --> 00:23:41,282 His, his brother was leaving him. 546 00:23:41,283 --> 00:23:42,867 I punched him. 547 00:23:43,617 --> 00:23:46,157 He was fasting. 548 00:23:46,158 --> 00:23:49,532 His elderly sewing ladies got stuck in UN traffic 549 00:23:49,533 --> 00:23:51,241 and didn't even see the show. 550 00:23:51,784 --> 00:23:53,199 And all this goes on 551 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,115 30 minutes before his Broadway debut 552 00:23:56,116 --> 00:24:00,033 after being up all night making hankies for everybody? 553 00:24:01,283 --> 00:24:02,784 Oh, my God. 554 00:24:04,367 --> 00:24:08,283 It was Ben who needed a hanky to cry into. 555 00:24:09,075 --> 00:24:10,783 Oh jeez! 556 00:24:10,784 --> 00:24:11,949 Oh! 557 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:15,199 The damn has burst! 558 00:24:20,742 --> 00:24:21,908 Nah, there's a little bit. 559 00:24:21,909 --> 00:24:24,032 - There's a little something. - Eh, not much. 560 00:24:24,033 --> 00:24:25,532 Thank God that's over. 561 00:24:28,367 --> 00:24:31,574 Ben must have been poisoned in that pocket of time 562 00:24:31,575 --> 00:24:33,449 by whoever he was talking to. 563 00:24:33,450 --> 00:24:35,866 - I... if we could just figure out... - Give it up. 564 00:24:35,867 --> 00:24:37,824 We don't know what we don't know. 565 00:24:37,825 --> 00:24:39,532 I'm sorry, Oliver. 566 00:24:39,533 --> 00:24:42,255 I don't think we're gonna solve this in time to free Loretta. 567 00:24:42,256 --> 00:24:45,867 I suppose it's fine. 568 00:24:46,991 --> 00:24:50,033 I guess I'll just die sad and alone. 569 00:24:50,575 --> 00:24:53,575 Wanna know how I was able to access those tears just now? 570 00:24:54,450 --> 00:24:56,115 I thought about Joy. 571 00:24:56,116 --> 00:24:58,742 Seeing her wedding dress was like a punch in the gut. 572 00:24:59,116 --> 00:25:01,157 I hear she's with Bakula now. 573 00:25:01,158 --> 00:25:02,866 Scott or Jeff? 574 00:25:02,867 --> 00:25:05,574 Scott. Who's Jeff Bakula? 575 00:25:05,575 --> 00:25:07,699 Eh, I have both of you beat 576 00:25:07,700 --> 00:25:10,366 in the "we're losers" competition. 577 00:25:10,367 --> 00:25:13,407 I still don't have my life figured out, 578 00:25:13,408 --> 00:25:17,115 I haven't solved this case, and I have no place to live. 579 00:25:17,116 --> 00:25:18,575 Still lost. 580 00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:20,908 You don't have to have it all worked out. You've got time. 581 00:25:20,909 --> 00:25:23,533 Yeah, well, tell that to 10-year-old Mabel. 582 00:25:25,075 --> 00:25:27,617 This is a MASH from when I was a kid. 583 00:25:28,991 --> 00:25:31,492 You know, the game that tells you your future? 584 00:25:32,450 --> 00:25:33,866 Anyway, mine predicted 585 00:25:33,867 --> 00:25:36,874 that I would be married to Josh Hartnett, 586 00:25:36,975 --> 00:25:38,658 with two kids, 587 00:25:38,659 --> 00:25:41,075 driving a Honda Odyssey. 588 00:25:41,492 --> 00:25:44,408 I was so sure this MASH was right. 589 00:25:46,033 --> 00:25:49,866 I made my mom promise to send it to me when I turned 30. 590 00:25:49,867 --> 00:25:53,240 Came in the mail today, so perfect timing. 591 00:25:53,241 --> 00:25:54,699 Wait. 592 00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:56,909 Are you saying today's your 30th birthday? 593 00:25:57,909 --> 00:26:00,157 And you spent it running around 594 00:26:00,158 --> 00:26:01,491 looking for clues with the two of us? 595 00:26:01,492 --> 00:26:04,617 Honestly, there's no way I'd rather spend it. 596 00:26:07,367 --> 00:26:08,824 What do you think 10-year-old Mabel would say 597 00:26:08,825 --> 00:26:10,909 if she could see how your life actually turned out? 598 00:26:11,075 --> 00:26:12,658 Oh, she'd be horrified. 599 00:26:12,659 --> 00:26:15,324 But what the fuck did she know? She shopped at Wet Seal. 600 00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:17,408 I did it! 601 00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:19,741 I solved the shredder paper! 602 00:26:19,742 --> 00:26:21,366 But I've been taping too long. 603 00:26:21,367 --> 00:26:23,990 My vision's gone blurry. I can't read it. 604 00:26:23,991 --> 00:26:26,158 - No, no, o-over here. Yes, okay. - Oh, you're over here. 605 00:26:29,825 --> 00:26:32,658 O.M. God! I know what this is. 606 00:26:32,659 --> 00:26:33,659 That fast? 607 00:26:33,784 --> 00:26:34,824 No, I just need to read two words. 608 00:26:34,825 --> 00:26:35,990 Two words I'll never forget. 609 00:26:35,991 --> 00:26:37,783 "Didn't sing." 610 00:26:37,784 --> 00:26:41,282 This is Maxine's review of my original show, 611 00:26:41,283 --> 00:26:42,532 but it was never published. 612 00:26:42,533 --> 00:26:43,783 How did someone get ahold of this? 613 00:26:43,784 --> 00:26:45,783 Two words. I need to get LASIK, 614 00:26:45,784 --> 00:26:47,241 and he only needed two words. 615 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,324 - What is that? - Torn paper? 616 00:26:50,325 --> 00:26:51,658 I need to tape it together. 617 00:26:52,700 --> 00:26:54,783 Look what you've turned me into! 618 00:26:54,784 --> 00:26:56,407 Ow. 619 00:26:56,408 --> 00:26:59,199 This review says Ben was the weak link of the show. 620 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,950 She said, "He was as wooden as the lighthouse he's standing on." 621 00:27:03,492 --> 00:27:05,407 What if someone read this that night? 622 00:27:05,408 --> 00:27:08,199 Maybe they decided to get rid of Ben to save the play. 623 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,407 There are a lot of careers riding on it being a hit. 624 00:27:10,408 --> 00:27:11,532 Not mine, of course. 625 00:27:11,533 --> 00:27:13,908 I came to it as an established TV veteran. 626 00:27:13,909 --> 00:27:15,658 Yes, and thank you for your service. 627 00:27:15,659 --> 00:27:16,659 Guys? 628 00:27:17,408 --> 00:27:18,866 This could be our motive. 629 00:27:18,867 --> 00:27:20,824 Now we're getting somewhere! 630 00:27:20,825 --> 00:27:22,240 I-I need to refuel. 631 00:27:22,241 --> 00:27:24,824 Charles, please tell me you have some dips... 632 00:27:24,825 --> 00:27:26,908 I think there's some, uh, Norwegian red herring in the fridge. 633 00:27:28,825 --> 00:27:31,491 Hey, did that review mention my performance? 634 00:27:31,492 --> 00:27:35,032 Huh? Oh, uh, no. Nothing. 635 00:27:35,033 --> 00:27:36,949 Really? 'Cause I kinda had a big, big role... 636 00:27:36,950 --> 00:27:38,990 Charles, don't. 637 00:27:38,991 --> 00:27:41,574 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 638 00:27:41,575 --> 00:27:44,532 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 639 00:27:44,533 --> 00:27:48,032 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Mabel ♪ 640 00:27:48,033 --> 00:27:50,240 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 641 00:27:50,241 --> 00:27:51,824 - You're flat. Horrible. - Sorry. I know. 642 00:27:51,825 --> 00:27:54,032 Thank you, guys. 643 00:27:54,033 --> 00:27:55,367 Come on. Make a wish. 644 00:27:56,367 --> 00:27:59,116 - Ah, yes. - Hey, come on. Sit down. 645 00:27:59,533 --> 00:28:01,532 There you go. 646 00:28:01,533 --> 00:28:03,783 - Happy birthday. - Thank you. 647 00:28:03,784 --> 00:28:06,282 They tried to keep us apart, 648 00:28:06,283 --> 00:28:10,032 make me stick to my heart-healthy diet, 649 00:28:10,033 --> 00:28:11,824 but you found your way back to me. 650 00:28:11,825 --> 00:28:14,574 Oliver, keep going. 651 00:28:14,575 --> 00:28:16,324 Yeah... Why? 652 00:28:16,325 --> 00:28:18,157 I know you feel it, too. 653 00:28:18,158 --> 00:28:19,532 You want me... 654 00:28:19,533 --> 00:28:21,199 No, you need me to tear into you, 655 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,324 you naughty little mistress. 656 00:28:24,325 --> 00:28:26,909 I know who Ben was talking to. 657 00:28:27,991 --> 00:28:29,032 - Wait! - Gimme that! 658 00:28:29,033 --> 00:28:30,325 Why don't you fuck the fuck off? 659 00:28:31,033 --> 00:28:34,033 You know what? Fucking happy to! 660 00:28:53,408 --> 00:28:54,991 You're not supposed to be here. 661 00:28:55,825 --> 00:28:57,825 We both know you're bad. 662 00:29:06,492 --> 00:29:08,492 God, I want you. 663 00:29:10,033 --> 00:29:12,033 I want you so fuckin' bad. 664 00:29:13,991 --> 00:29:15,991 But we both know you'll ruin my career. 665 00:29:18,784 --> 00:29:20,075 And I'm gonna like it. 666 00:29:37,700 --> 00:29:38,700 Mm! 667 00:29:39,158 --> 00:29:40,574 Oh, my God! 668 00:29:40,575 --> 00:29:42,575 Oh! 669 00:29:53,991 --> 00:29:55,742 What the fuck did you just do? 670 00:29:58,533 --> 00:30:00,033 You ate the whole thing. 671 00:30:02,367 --> 00:30:04,075 You're disgusting. 672 00:30:06,950 --> 00:30:08,449 Loretta was right. 673 00:30:08,450 --> 00:30:10,158 You're a fucking pig. 674 00:30:11,742 --> 00:30:13,784 You're a fucking pig! 675 00:30:15,450 --> 00:30:19,199 You're a fucking pig. You... are... 676 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,283 a fucking... pig! 677 00:30:23,617 --> 00:30:26,115 Pig! 678 00:30:26,116 --> 00:30:28,949 Pig! You're a fucking pig! 679 00:30:33,825 --> 00:30:36,408 Fucking pig! 680 00:30:54,575 --> 00:30:57,741 This is Trixie. Please leave me a message. 681 00:30:57,742 --> 00:31:00,366 Uh, hey! 682 00:31:00,367 --> 00:31:02,741 It's, uh, it's me. It's Benny. 683 00:31:02,742 --> 00:31:04,240 Um... 684 00:31:04,241 --> 00:31:06,491 Uh, are you, are you guys coming to the show? 685 00:31:06,492 --> 00:31:09,199 I really need you to, to be here. 686 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:10,491 Uh... 687 00:31:10,492 --> 00:31:13,407 I've just never felt so alone. 688 00:31:13,408 --> 00:31:15,824 Ben? 689 00:31:15,825 --> 00:31:17,741 Everyone gets opening night jitters! 690 00:31:17,742 --> 00:31:18,867 I can talk you through it. 691 00:31:18,991 --> 00:31:21,366 I-I gotta go. Please get here soon. 692 00:31:21,367 --> 00:31:23,324 I'm surrounded by people I can't trust. 693 00:31:23,325 --> 00:31:24,408 They're all out to get me. 694 00:31:38,241 --> 00:31:40,241 Uh... 695 00:31:42,825 --> 00:31:43,825 I'm good. 696 00:31:44,700 --> 00:31:45,700 I'm good. 697 00:31:47,159 --> 00:31:48,240 This whole time, 698 00:31:48,241 --> 00:31:50,491 it wasn't who Ben was talking to, 699 00:31:50,492 --> 00:31:52,032 it was what. 700 00:31:52,033 --> 00:31:53,574 You think if those last 30 minutes 701 00:31:53,575 --> 00:31:54,990 hadn't been so brutal, 702 00:31:54,991 --> 00:31:56,908 maybe Ben wouldn't have needed to eat that cookie. 703 00:31:56,909 --> 00:31:58,450 Maybe he'd still be alive. 704 00:31:59,241 --> 00:32:00,492 That cookie! 705 00:32:02,492 --> 00:32:03,784 It was from Donna. 706 00:32:04,408 --> 00:32:06,949 Mabel, what did that review say about Ben's performance? 707 00:32:06,950 --> 00:32:10,199 It said he was as wooden as the lighthouse. 708 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,990 Donna said that exact thing at sitzprobe. 709 00:32:12,991 --> 00:32:14,990 She'd read the review. 710 00:32:14,991 --> 00:32:16,366 A-And you know, she was always bragging 711 00:32:16,367 --> 00:32:18,032 about her connection to the paper. 712 00:32:18,033 --> 00:32:21,324 I bet she sweet-talked someone into slipping her a copy. 713 00:32:21,325 --> 00:32:23,449 She'd sabotage her own play? 714 00:32:23,450 --> 00:32:25,533 It wasn't hers. 715 00:32:27,033 --> 00:32:28,366 It was her son's. 716 00:32:28,367 --> 00:32:30,616 His first production. 717 00:32:30,617 --> 00:32:32,491 And if it had been panned, 718 00:32:32,492 --> 00:32:34,990 it could have also been his last. 719 00:32:40,784 --> 00:32:44,075 So, let's say Donna gets her hands on the review 720 00:32:45,075 --> 00:32:48,700 which says Ben is the weak link of the show. 721 00:32:55,450 --> 00:32:56,700 That's odd. 722 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,450 She spots the rat poison. 723 00:33:12,325 --> 00:33:14,033 Then, the cookie. 724 00:33:14,991 --> 00:33:17,575 And she gets the idea to poison Ben. 725 00:33:21,492 --> 00:33:22,742 Hmm. 726 00:33:42,241 --> 00:33:43,574 She leaves him the cookie, 727 00:33:43,575 --> 00:33:44,866 knowing it's his weakness, 728 00:33:44,867 --> 00:33:46,949 and that he's in a bad spot emotionally. 729 00:33:46,950 --> 00:33:49,407 The perfect temptation. 730 00:33:49,408 --> 00:33:50,658 All she has to do now 731 00:33:50,659 --> 00:33:52,574 is make sure he eats the cookie. 732 00:33:52,575 --> 00:33:56,240 Go to your dressing room. Be nice to Ben. 733 00:33:56,241 --> 00:33:57,491 Do whatever it takes 734 00:33:57,492 --> 00:34:00,074 to get your ass ready to go on that stage. 735 00:34:00,075 --> 00:34:02,158 Yeah. 736 00:34:04,283 --> 00:34:06,366 Oh, hey, you're here! 737 00:34:06,367 --> 00:34:08,282 Yeah, well, where the shit else would I be? 738 00:34:08,283 --> 00:34:09,866 Right. Well, how about we start shooting 739 00:34:09,867 --> 00:34:11,366 some behind-the-scenes stuff, huh? 740 00:34:11,367 --> 00:34:14,366 Look, dude, you know... I-I'm not an animal in your zoo. 741 00:34:14,367 --> 00:34:17,157 So, we have our motive, the review. 742 00:34:17,158 --> 00:34:19,366 We have the murder weapon, a cookie. 743 00:34:19,367 --> 00:34:21,824 And when the cookie doesn't work, 744 00:34:21,825 --> 00:34:24,699 she pushes him down the elevator shaft. 745 00:34:24,700 --> 00:34:26,866 She was in and out of that party all night. 746 00:34:26,867 --> 00:34:29,240 She could have easily made a murderous pit stop. 747 00:34:29,241 --> 00:34:30,575 So, 748 00:34:31,283 --> 00:34:33,616 we have our killer, Donna. 749 00:34:33,617 --> 00:34:35,324 Which means we can get Loretta out! 750 00:34:35,325 --> 00:34:37,032 Uh, I don't know. 751 00:34:37,033 --> 00:34:38,990 Her arraignment's in 20 minutes, 752 00:34:38,991 --> 00:34:40,699 and the courthouse is way downtown. 753 00:34:40,700 --> 00:34:42,407 And I'm all out of ladders. 754 00:34:42,408 --> 00:34:44,741 And I can't cry twice in one day. 755 00:34:44,742 --> 00:34:46,407 Unless I think of my dad. 756 00:34:46,408 --> 00:34:47,449 Or my mom. 757 00:34:47,450 --> 00:34:49,533 Or any moment from my childhood. 758 00:34:50,659 --> 00:34:52,115 Mabel, what is it? 759 00:34:52,116 --> 00:34:54,325 Nobody stops a bride. 760 00:34:59,408 --> 00:35:01,908 I still don't get why you guys wore tuxes. 761 00:35:01,909 --> 00:35:03,908 Oh, I never miss a chance to put on my tux. 762 00:35:03,909 --> 00:35:06,407 Last time I wore this was 1987 Emmys. 763 00:35:06,408 --> 00:35:08,115 Wait, wait! That means... Hey! 764 00:35:08,116 --> 00:35:09,908 - Bebe Neuwirth's phone number! - Ah! 765 00:35:09,909 --> 00:35:11,532 - Oh! Oh, oh, oh! - Oh no! 766 00:35:11,533 --> 00:35:13,240 A bride needs a cab. Please? 767 00:35:13,241 --> 00:35:16,282 - Bride. Bride needs a cab. - Oh, thank you. 768 00:35:16,283 --> 00:35:18,949 - You, out. You, in. - Thank you, ma'am! 769 00:35:18,950 --> 00:35:20,157 Th-That's, that's very good. 770 00:35:20,158 --> 00:35:21,866 Wanna know what I wished for, 771 00:35:21,867 --> 00:35:25,533 over that birthday candle stuck in a tub of dip? 772 00:35:25,891 --> 00:35:26,909 You're looking at it. 773 00:35:26,910 --> 00:35:28,033 Thank you... 774 00:35:28,867 --> 00:35:31,908 Me with my two besties doing murder stuff. 775 00:35:31,909 --> 00:35:33,032 Let's go, let's go, let's go. 776 00:35:33,033 --> 00:35:34,824 Not a bad life. 777 00:35:34,825 --> 00:35:37,324 Wait. Whoa, whoa. Slow down. Y'all got an appointment? 778 00:35:37,325 --> 00:35:39,240 It's my wedding, ma'am. 779 00:35:39,241 --> 00:35:41,240 And you guys are, what, her two dads? 780 00:35:41,241 --> 00:35:43,240 That's right. We're the fathers of the bride. 781 00:35:43,241 --> 00:35:44,241 Oh, that's fun. 782 00:35:44,242 --> 00:35:45,283 So you got a groom in there? 783 00:35:45,784 --> 00:35:48,700 Why does there always have to be a groom? 784 00:35:49,825 --> 00:35:50,866 Many happy returns. 785 00:35:50,867 --> 00:35:51,867 Thank you. 786 00:35:55,241 --> 00:35:56,866 There she is. 787 00:35:56,867 --> 00:35:58,325 Loretta, wait! 788 00:36:00,575 --> 00:36:02,908 Oliver, what are you doing here? 789 00:36:02,909 --> 00:36:05,240 I came to stop you. Don't plead guilty. 790 00:36:05,241 --> 00:36:08,491 Wow. You look... great in orange. 791 00:36:08,492 --> 00:36:10,324 Oh! I do? 792 00:36:10,325 --> 00:36:12,700 Thanks. 793 00:36:13,617 --> 00:36:15,783 You look really nice, too. 794 00:36:15,784 --> 00:36:17,407 - I do? - Mm-hmm. 795 00:36:17,408 --> 00:36:19,658 Oh, this old thing. I... 796 00:36:19,659 --> 00:36:21,033 We know who murdered Ben. 797 00:36:21,659 --> 00:36:23,074 You only confessed to save Dickie, 798 00:36:23,075 --> 00:36:24,741 but he didn't do it. And we can prove that. 799 00:36:24,742 --> 00:36:25,908 You have to trust me. 800 00:36:25,909 --> 00:36:27,949 I do. 801 00:36:27,950 --> 00:36:31,366 I trust you. I just... 802 00:36:31,367 --> 00:36:34,366 I've gone down this road so far already. 803 00:36:37,909 --> 00:36:39,324 Who do you think did it? 804 00:36:39,325 --> 00:36:41,532 Um, Oliver? 805 00:36:46,533 --> 00:36:48,991 Fuckity fuck. 806 00:36:57,326 --> 00:37:02,326 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -