Well, one of the funner things
that we do that we do here in Pawnee
is the annual easter egg hunt.
Tom hides the eggs,
and, I have to say,
he did an exceptional job this year.
I've been searching for 25 minutes,
and I haven't found a single egg.
And I'm an adult.
Ooh, yeah, I forgot to do that.
Maybe Tom's trying to make this year a challenge.
And if so, he's--he's succeeding.
I don't think a single egg has been found yet.
Let's keep looking. We're gonna find one.
*
I'm going to see my mom.
She's a big mucky-muck in the county school system.
She's my hero.
How do I explain her?
She's as respected as Mother Teresa,
she's as powerful as Stalin,
and she's as beautiful as Margaret Thatcher.
In or out, Leslie. Doorway is creepy.
Right, sorry. Choosing in.
So, what do you want, Leslie?
Just here to gossip, gab, chat. Stuff we do.
But it looks like you're super-busy.
And I am super-busy,
so I shall bid you adieu.
Oh, that's weird.
I just remembered something.
I have my own subcommittee now.
Yeah. I'm sure you've heard something about it.
People are talking about it.
No. Oh, well.
Anyway, we're having a town hall meeting
tomorrow at 7:00 P.M.
At the Smithfield community center.
Mm. Yeah, I'm leading it.
It's no biggy.
I mean, it is. It's a big deal, I mean...
I don't know, I mean, you know...
Wanna come?
Oh, honey, jeez, you know how busy I am.
I know. I know. I know.
That's why I fake-invited you.
I'll try to be there.
Okay, so everybody's here.
Let's get started. Ow! Wow.
Sorry. Oh, I'm sorry.
Metal. Sorry. It was really loud.
Subcommittee members, are we prepared for tomorrow night?
Tom, have you booked the hall yet?
Yes, sir.
Ann, did you clear your schedule?
I did. I changed my shift.
Okay.
Leslie, I just have to say
I think you might be taking this
to the public a little bit too soon.
It literally doesn't matter what you propose to the public,
they might call for a vote.
And if they vote you down, then you're done.
I don't care if there's gonna be a vote.
I have a secret weapon.
Canvassing.
Nothing better
than good old-fashioned door-to-door campaigning.
I'm not above using my expertise
to change hearts and minds if the cause is just.
When I was in sixth grade, I was voted best dressed
by 87 votes.
And there were only 63 people in my class.
Andy fell into that pit.
I fell into that pit.
How many more Pawnee citizens are going to have to fall
into that pit before we turn it into a park?
Zero. Say it.
Ann, Mark, Tom: Zero. A hundred.
I've got some sunscreen
for your beaks.
Tom, you probably won't need any.
Uh, and this is our canvassing guide.
This is gonna be the script
that we use when we speak with people.
"If a person is a man, turn to page two."
"If the person looks like a celebrity--
Jack Nicholson-- use this to help your pitch.
You can't handle the pit.
That's why we need to turn it into a park."
Oh, this is really thorough.
Ann and I are a team. You guys are a team.
We have even sectors. You guys have odd sectors.
And we're gonna win.
Yeah. Win what?
Go!
Okay. Oh, someone's in there.
This is gonna be fun. Are you excited?
Excited, yeah. Are you ready?
Yes, definitely. Are you pumped up?
Yes. Look humble.
But confident.
Good afternoon.
We are representatives from your local government.
May we speak with you for a moment
about the Sullivan street pit? Sure.
Excellent. Positive response.
How would you feel if we turned that pit
into a beautiful community park?
Oh, yeah, that would be a great idea.
Oh, good, I actually live in the neighborhood,
so I could probably tell you a little bit about...
Hey, tut-tut-tut. Section three.
Okay, um, we are having
a public forum tomorrow night.
It would be great if you could come voice
your strong support.
Tomorrow? I can't.
I'm busy. Sorry.
Oh, yes, we understand that people are busy,
but we would love for you to come to the meeting--
sorry. Good luck, though. I'm all for a park.
Would it change your mind if we told you that--
she's gone.
Yeah, a park, huh?
That sounds like a really good idea.
Great. Would you be willing to come
to a town meeting and show your support?
Absolutely.
Now, is this park gonna have a playground
or, you know, maybe a pool for the kids?
Oh, how old are your kids?
No kids.
Uh-oh.
I'm gonna put him down as a yes.
Don't do that.
Also is the park gonna be
at least a thousand feet from my house?
Because, yeah, I really can't move again.
April, please stand behind me.
That's it. That's all that we got.
No flier? Nope.
Okay.
Thank you.
Oh, man, this is great. This is so great.
I love canvassing.
What a great way to spend my time.
All right, team Haverford,
you guys are awesome, but I think I might work better
as a solo artist, so I'm gonna head out.
Peace.
He runs weird. He really does.
It's a good idea.
But I'm just not sure.
Okay, which part are you not sure about?
Turning the pit into a park.
That's kind of the whole thing.
Look, I think this is a great idea,
but I can't make any forum.
I would have to get a babysitter.
How old are your kids?
Four and two.
Could the four-year-old watch the two-year-old?
Okay. Mickey!
What's up, buddy?
How's my number one sod man doing?
Look, here's the one, two, three of the situation.
We're building a new park.
I'm on the committee.
You're putting in the sod.
And who knows, you know, maybe down the line,
situation will arise where you could hook me up.
Are you gonna commit to coming to this meeting tomorrow
or are you gonna be a bitch?
Yes, you do owe me.
Tom Haverford. Okay, keep going.
Keep moving. Nose to the grindstone.
No means yes. Can we stop, please?
Because it's really hot and I'm tired.
Yeah, I'm hot too.
Let's blow in each other's faces.
Or we could drink some water. Yeah, let's do that.
My house is really close by.
Let's just go take a break for an hour or so.
Okay, okay, look, I didn't want it to have to come to this,
but, Ann, please open the sealed envelope that's in your binder.
This is a little something I learned from Karl rove.
If you want to guarantee the results of a survey,
you design the question
to give you the answer that you want.
"Wouldn't you rather have a park
than a storage facility for nuclear waste?"
That seems iffy.
Yeah, don't worry about it. I made it all up.
Yeah, that's-- that's what I mean.
Wouldn't you agree,
like most decent Americans,
that it would be a good idea to turn
the abandoned lot on Sullivan street
into a beautiful community park?
Oh, actually, no.
I'm not really a fan of parks.
Very noisy. Barbecue smell all the time.
Would you change your mind if I told you
that nine out of ten meth users said the same exact thing?
What?
How would you even know that?
Survey.
We surveyed crystal meth users.
We're actually having
a little town meeting tomorrow night if you wanted to...
Okay, look, I know it sounds weird,
but I just don't like living near parks.
So do you have a flier or something?
I'd be happy to take it.
Thank you.
Okay.
You don't care about your kids
if you don't support this park.
Excuse me?
It's--what I mean is,
kids love parks and you should too.
So if I don't support
your little project, then I don't love my daughter?
I didn't...
What time is this thing anyway?
Ah, it's next month. Forget it.
Oh, it's tomorrow night. I'll be there.
Great. Okay, come on.
We got one. Come on.
Am I talking to
the two sexiest thighs in landscaping?
Yes, I am, 'cause I'm talking to Marcy.
How's it going? Tom Haverford.
Kevin, your sandboxes are the best.
That's why I want you involved.
I just want the best monkey bars I can get in my park.
I don't mind hooking you up.
Maybe down the line, there will be a situation
where you can hook me up.
Thank you for your time, sir.
Well, he said some upsetting things.
I can't believe you gave him your home phone number.
Well, I'm a public servant.
I need to be accessible.
What the hell is wrong with people?
I should show them Andy's medical bills.
Maybe they'd have a little sympathy.
Oh, my god. Ann, game changer.
You just busted the game wide open.
How?
Andy. We need Andy. He's our symbol.
We'll wheel him around the neighborhood to get sympathy.
He's a cute fdr.
Yeah. Yeah.
Ron, you got a minute.
Uh, sure, Paul. What can I do for you?
Sullivan street park project, you fast-tracked it, right?
Yeah, absolutely.
Uh, we have a public forum tomorrow.
Okay, great. I'll be there.
Great. Okay.
"You fast-tracked that, right?"
I'm sorry. Did you say something?
No.
You didn't say anything to me?
No.
There's a new wind blowing
in government, and I don't like it.
All of a sudden, there's all this federal money coming in,
and Paul, the city manager, is telling US
to build parks, start new community programs.
It's horrifying.
Do you have like a nurse's costume?
Costume? You mean like scrubs?
Yeah, put those on. Okay.
* please tell me
* please tell me why
* my car is in the front yard-- *
bass, come on!
* and I'm sleeping with my clothes on *
* I came in through the window *
* last night
It can be tricky-- don't.
Why do I want to build this park so bad?
Maybe because a pit filled with garbage isn't the best
that we can do in america.
You know, in Russia,
they could pretend that pit was a park.
Bring their kids down there.
"Hey, vlad, look at these rocks.
"Let's pretend they're potatoes.
"Nikolai,
do you want to swim in the dirt?"
But not here, okay?
'Cause we're a nation of dreamers.
And it is my dream
to build a park
that I one day visit with my white house staff
on my birthday.
And they say, "president knope, this park is awesome.
"Now we understand why you are the first female president
of the United States."
Leslie knope.
Builder of parks.
How was canvassing?
Canvassing was okay.
But I think we're going to have to postpone the town meeting.
Postpone?
Only for 1 to 90 days.
No, you're doing this meeting.
You have my full support.
I was talking to the city manager,
exchanging ideas.
There's a mutual respect there.
And, together, we have decided to fast-track your project.
City manager?
Wow, really?
I have to cancel this meeting.
Fast-track?
Did my name come up at all?
Oh, this meeting needs to be canceled.
No, it's happening.
Look, just--just do a good job tomorrow.
Okay, we have to push this thing through.
Of course, of course.
I'll push anything through anything.
You know me.
Are you sweating through your suit?
I doubt it. It's a very breathable fabr--
oh, yeah, I am.
Jerry, what's up, man?
Hey, you're into pretzels, right?
Bam! Hit 'em up, man. Thanks for coming down.
I got a seat taped off for you over there.
Getting your fences in there.
I drove by one of your fences the other day.
I was like, man, that fence looks awesome.
I was like, of course, Roy's.
If you're into chocolate muffins,
grab as many as you want.
Some people may say that bringing in these contractors
this early is jumping the gun a little bit.
Well, guess what? Here's the gun.
Here's me. Boom.
Victor miles, Tom Haverford. How are you?
Thank you so much for coming down.
I want to introduce you to Leslie.
Victor miles. Hi.
He's a gentleman I met canvassing.
He also happens to be the top sod guy in Indiana.
That's terrific. Hey, les. Hey.
I really want you to nail this. Yeah?
Don from Don's cement, Tom Haverford.
Good to see you.
Just thinking of a jingle for your company.
How's this? * Don's cement
* is the best you can get
* Don's
oh, I'm so glad you're here.
Yeah, Andy came too to give support.
I have a lot of stage experience, so...
This'll be fine, right?
It's a park, for god's sakes.
How much can they hate a park?
A lot of them seemed to hate a park yesterday.
April, April, I need you in the audience.
Okay. Wait.
And if the questions start getting negative,
I'm gonna call on you,
and I need you to sell the crap out of the park.
Can you do that? Why?
Please, April, this is serious.
Can you do that? Probably.
Good girl, good girl.
Good probably. Good girl.
Okay, here we go. Line up, everybody.
My mom's here.
Oh, no, I can't do that.
That's illegal.
Thank you so much for coming out tonight.
This is our first town meeting
about the proposal to turn lot 48
on Sullivan street
into a community park.
Yeah!
This is gonna be a train wreck.
I want my daughter to be successful.
Which is why I always tell her,
"there's nothing wrong with being a wife and mother."
Now, there are many people that I spoke to
who are passionately in support of this idea.
None of them were able to make it tonight,
unfortunately.
But they totally exist.
I did not make them up.
Oh, I see a question. Okay.
No, no.
No. No questions right now.
My name is Kate speevack...
Mm-hmm, I remember you.
And I live in the neighborhood.
And I am 100% against this park.
I cannot believe the department is moving forward
with a project without a single environmental impact study.
And if you guys agree with me,
let's take a stand.
Okay.
Um, we are a little ahead of schedule
because we're holding this town hall meeting so soon.
Which I was warned about by Mark brendanawicz,
our city planner assigned to this project.
Uh, so what would he say?
Mm.
Here we are.
Leslie, should I give them
some background info on the site?
Absolutely, okay.
Mark brendanawicz knows the answer to every question.
He's amazing,
and congratulations for hearing him speak.
Hi, there. Leslie might have oversold me a little bit.
Certainly did not. He's the man.
He's capable of anything. Okay.
Lot 48 is, uh, it's a rectangular lot.
It's got excellent drainage,
and it's on the corner of Sullivan and Collins.
Any questions?
I have more of a comment than a question.
Go for it. It's for the guy in the cast.
Here we go. Lawrence.
Yes, yes, yes.
That is Andy dwyer.
He is a local resident, and he tragically fell in the pit.
Uh, yeah, I don't care about any of that.
He's the guy that plays music all night in his garage.
It's driving me nuts.
Lawrence lives with his grandma.
Which is pretty awesome.
He takes care of her, I guess.
But whatever. He's a douche bag.
It's loud. It's abusive.
And it's waking up my birds.
You have birds now?
Yeah, I have birds.
I have nice, pretty, expensive birds.
And you play that music, and it wakes them up.
Look, I don't work for the government, okay.
Uh, I do play rock & roll.
Guilty as charged.
I'm in a band.
It's called just the tip.
And, actually,
if anyone here plays bass, we need a bassist.
Yes, okay, let's take a five-minute break, shall we?
Uh, it is not going well at all.
It's going very poorly. Mm-hmm.
Okay, like you're crashing and burning.
Democracy's happening. People are talking.
I mean, at least they aren't apathetic, right?
You're right about that.
They're deeply negative.
You need to put a happy face on this,
give me a few positive talking points.
And whatever you do, avoid a vote.
I'm oddly attracted to Kate speevack.
Ugh.
Before we continue, I'd love to just give you
a little history of Pawnee.
The city of Pawnee was incorporated in 1817
when a young man by the name of reverend Luther howell
came from terre haute on an ox.
He planted his flag in the ground and was met
soon after by an angry tribe of wamapoke Indians,
who, when seeing the whiteness of his skin,
twisted him to death.
Flash forward to 1969.
Man walks on the moon.
Pawnee is lousy with hippies...
My god, she's filibustering her own meeting.
Mod squad--
filibuster. Boom.
They can't touch you if you talk forever.
I can't speak of the future.
But I will.
The future of Pawnee will involve US flying around
in space taxis where we will communicate
on watches and blink our feelings to each other
rather than use words.
And now I'd like to take
a magical journey through a little something
I like to call the phantom tollbooth
by Norton juster.
Excuse me, can't you read
that children's book on your own time?
I have the floor.
"There once was a boy named Milo
"who didn't know what to do with himself.
Not just sometimes, but always"--
okay, all right, you know what,
this is a public forum,
which means that we all get to tell you what we think.
Well, you did already talk, ma'am.
And I would love to listen to someone else,
someone I don't know.
Uh, that girl over there
with the long brown hair and the yellow top.
Could you tell US how you feel about this park?
Go ahead. Hi.
Uh, I'm a youth in the community,
and I think a new park is a great idea.
And I fully support it,
as would the rest of the youth in the community.
Hey, I recognize her.
That kid came to my door yesterday.
Oh, my god, okay, they have planted people in this audience.
Unbelievable.
You know what, we all agree that this park is a bad idea.
We should just take a vote.
Right? Okay, we will take a vote.
Before we do that,
I want everyone up, lined up behind that microphone.
I want to hear from all of you, one-by-one.
That was brutal.
A couple weeks ago, I was yelling
at Leslie at a public forum.
God, I hope I wasn't as obnoxious as those people.
I wasn't, right?
At 5:00 in the morning, every morning--
beep, beep, beep-- I don't want to hear that.
Now, how long is this project gonna take?
That's what I wanna know. That's what's important to me.
Because I need my sleep.
Thank you, ma'am.
Thank you, ma'am. That concludes our meeting.
What about the vote?
We're out of time.
It's 9:00.
But we will have many public forums in the future,
and we hope to see you all there.
Thank you so much for coming.
It was tough.
But, you know, that's Pawnee. That's democracy.
There are a lot of people here that want this park.
You just gotta get past the negative people.
But guess what?
My subcommittee held its first town hall meeting tonight.
God, I loved it.
I loved every minute of it.
Hey, park lady.
Yeah? You suck.
Hear that?
He called me park lady.
You know, normally,
I don't agree with Leslie about anything,
but this book is awesome.