1
00:00:04,164 --> 00:00:05,686
Here's the situation.
2
00:00:06,096 --> 00:00:07,888
Your parents went away on { week's} vacation.
3
00:00:08,384 --> 00:00:10,266
They left the keys
to the brand new Porsche.
4
00:00:10,679 --> 00:00:11,946
Would they mind?
5
00:00:12,377 --> 00:00:13,602
Of course not.
6
00:00:59,170 --> 00:01:00,720
Thank you, thank you.
7
00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:03,068
Just a little something I know.
8
00:01:03,595 --> 00:01:06,843
- So what's up?
- Someone is on fire in Ramsett park.
9
00:01:06,968 --> 00:01:08,908
They need you to get
down there right away.
10
00:01:09,835 --> 00:01:10,885
Oh, my God.
11
00:01:13,246 --> 00:01:14,546
- La Fabrique -
12
00:01:15,290 --> 00:01:16,436
- Feygnasse Team -
13
00:01:16,561 --> 00:01:17,875
{pos(260,270)}Episode 201
Pawnee Zoo
14
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,300
Synchro: Albator1932, Lestat78, mpm
15
00:01:31,739 --> 00:01:34,391
I've been spending the summer
doing a lot of zoo promotions.
16
00:01:36,193 --> 00:01:37,811
Parrots live a very long time,
17
00:01:37,979 --> 00:01:39,647
so we had a birthday party
18
00:01:39,815 --> 00:01:41,363
for a parrot that turned 60.
19
00:01:45,237 --> 00:01:46,967
{pos(110,260)}Chimpanzees are very smart,
20
00:01:47,204 --> 00:01:49,156
{pos(110,260)}so we had them graduate
21
00:01:49,324 --> 00:01:50,309
from college.
22
00:01:50,434 --> 00:01:53,160
And they like to fling their feces,
so we {were hoping}hoped they'd fling their hats,
23
00:01:53,469 --> 00:01:55,579
but they...
they just flung their feces.
24
00:01:57,384 --> 00:02:00,713
{pos(192,210)}The Pawnee zoo recently purchased
two South African black-footed penguins,
25
00:02:00,838 --> 00:02:01,865
Tux and Flipper.
26
00:02:01,990 --> 00:02:03,936
And as part of our zoo promotion,
27
00:02:04,061 --> 00:02:06,340
we gonna give them
a marriage ceremony...
28
00:02:07,368 --> 00:02:09,079
{pos(120,260)}because they mate for life.
29
00:02:09,616 --> 00:02:10,416
{pos(120,260)}Tux...
30
00:02:10,757 --> 00:02:12,086
{pos(120,260)}do you take Flipper
31
00:02:12,211 --> 00:02:14,130
{pos(120,260)}to be your lawfully wedded wife?
32
00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:18,103
{pos(120,260)}I do. I do.
33
00:02:18,823 --> 00:02:20,473
{pos(110,260)}By the power vested in me
34
00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:22,843
{pos(110,260)}from the department
of Parks and Recreation,
35
00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:25,206
{pos(110,260)}I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
36
00:02:37,067 --> 00:02:39,163
{pos(110,260)}Okay, well at least they're married.
37
00:02:39,556 --> 00:02:41,206
Are they making babies?
38
00:02:41,669 --> 00:02:44,420
No, not those two.
Those are both boy penguins.
39
00:02:45,060 --> 00:02:45,880
{I'm }Sorry?
40
00:02:46,271 --> 00:02:48,077
{pos(110,260)}Tux and Flipper are both boys.
41
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:51,302
So you should have pronounced them
husband and husband, technically.
42
00:02:51,662 --> 00:02:52,912
That's awesome.
43
00:02:55,854 --> 00:02:58,350
Still... you couldn't have
asked for better weather.
44
00:03:00,970 --> 00:03:02,491
You big sandwich eater.
45
00:03:03,659 --> 00:03:04,909
Cut it out now.
46
00:03:05,484 --> 00:03:07,604
Just to be clear,
that was a friend punch.
47
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,643
There was no{, you know,} flirtatious meaning
48
00:03:09,768 --> 00:03:11,739
behind that playful punch
I {just }gave your arm.
49
00:03:11,907 --> 00:03:13,013
I do understand.
50
00:03:13,138 --> 00:03:14,546
You've made it abundantly clear
51
00:03:14,671 --> 00:03:17,286
that there's no romantic element
to our relationship in any way.
52
00:03:17,758 --> 00:03:18,572
Good.
53
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,582
Isn't it good to be able
to{ just kind of} horse around like this as friends?
54
00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:23,026
- It is...
- Yeah.
55
00:03:23,151 --> 00:03:25,002
I really hit rock bottom that night.
56
00:03:25,646 --> 00:03:27,546
And I mean that I literally fell
57
00:03:27,714 --> 00:03:29,927
to the bottom of a pit
and hit a rock.
58
00:03:30,178 --> 00:03:32,004
I remember laying there, thinking,
59
00:03:32,606 --> 00:03:35,086
"There's probably a good reason
why I'm down here...
60
00:03:35,475 --> 00:03:36,578
"and single."
61
00:03:38,571 --> 00:03:40,935
And then I started thinking
that I need morphine.
62
00:03:41,219 --> 00:03:42,603
I hear you made
63
00:03:42,771 --> 00:03:45,064
two male penguins very happy today.
64
00:03:45,581 --> 00:03:47,816
You're making history{, Knope}.
I like that, sticking your neck out.
65
00:03:48,093 --> 00:03:50,194
I didn't stick my neck out.
It was an accident.
66
00:03:50,362 --> 00:03:51,904
Out of the mainstream, {I think }that's cool.
67
00:03:52,072 --> 00:03:53,591
- I'm in the mainstream.
- I know.
68
00:03:53,716 --> 00:03:55,656
- Not out of it.
- Social activism.
69
00:03:57,077 --> 00:04:00,371
People in this town don't really like
{ heir }government employees being activists.
70
00:04:00,937 --> 00:04:02,747
Last year, a garbage man
was suspended
71
00:04:02,872 --> 00:04:04,959
for wearing a livestrong bracelet.
72
00:04:06,193 --> 00:04:08,796
Some guy who owns a gay bar
sent you a cake.
73
00:04:09,028 --> 00:04:10,526
Pawnee has a gay bar?
74
00:04:11,532 --> 00:04:12,383
The Bulge.
75
00:04:14,042 --> 00:04:15,603
It's behind my house.
76
00:04:15,728 --> 00:04:17,378
The Bulge is a gay bar?
77
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,595
The nights I've wasted there.
78
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,370
"Leslie, hey girrrrrrrrl."
79
00:04:22,843 --> 00:04:24,045
With eight "r"s.
80
00:04:24,421 --> 00:04:26,582
"Thank you for supporting
the{ cause of} gay marriage.
81
00:04:26,707 --> 00:04:28,907
You rock!
The boys at the Bulge."
82
00:04:29,276 --> 00:04:31,026
They thought
that was a political gesture?
83
00:04:31,582 --> 00:04:34,174
Nobody eat that cake.
Tom, step into my office.
84
00:04:34,299 --> 00:04:36,073
- That's also my office.
- Whatever.
85
00:04:36,198 --> 00:04:38,065
- I know that you are not gay.
- I'm not.
86
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:39,812
- But you're effeminate.
- What?
87
00:04:39,937 --> 00:04:42,413
You're wearing a peach shirt
with a coiled snake on it.
88
00:04:42,581 --> 00:04:45,499
- Yes, 'cause it was featured
in Details magazine and it's awesome.
89
00:04:46,094 --> 00:04:48,319
Effeminate.
Anyway, so the point is...
90
00:04:48,444 --> 00:04:51,797
do you think that marrying penguins
made some kind of statement?
91
00:04:51,965 --> 00:04:54,631
Yes, the statement
was that you're very lonely,
92
00:04:54,756 --> 00:04:55,801
and you need a pet.
93
00:04:57,108 --> 00:04:58,797
They sent you t-shirts too.
94
00:04:59,145 --> 00:05:00,905
Look they sent us a t-shirt.
95
00:05:04,519 --> 00:05:05,978
Mine has a collar on it.
96
00:05:08,148 --> 00:05:09,291
There she is.
97
00:05:11,133 --> 00:05:14,080
This is my boyfriend, Derek,
and this is Derek's boyfriend, Ben.
98
00:05:16,953 --> 00:05:18,615
Wait, sorry.
What's the situation?
99
00:05:19,124 --> 00:05:21,193
- What do you mean?
- How does this work?
100
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:23,423
Derek is gay.
But he's straight for me,
101
00:05:23,548 --> 00:05:25,500
but he's gay for Ben,
and Ben's{ really} gay for Derek.
102
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:26,681
And I hate ben.
103
00:05:26,806 --> 00:05:28,208
It's not that complicated.
104
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:30,169
Yeah. Sure.
105
00:05:30,337 --> 00:05:33,801
The thing about youth culture
is I don't understand it.
106
00:05:35,036 --> 00:05:37,969
- So what can I do for you guys?
- They just really wanted to meet you,
107
00:05:38,094 --> 00:05:40,345
because you're kinda
like their hero now.
108
00:05:42,632 --> 00:05:44,601
Please, it was just penguins.
109
00:05:44,726 --> 00:05:46,019
I'm a public servant,
110
00:05:46,144 --> 00:05:47,978
and I{'m not allowed} can't { o }take a political stance.
111
00:05:48,146 --> 00:05:49,950
But you did, and it was awesome.
112
00:05:50,075 --> 00:05:52,196
None of the other politicians
ever take a stand,
113
00:05:52,321 --> 00:05:54,318
and it means a lot
to the {whole }gay community.
114
00:05:54,486 --> 00:05:58,458
It does. And we're gonna have this party
tomorrow night at the Bulge,
115
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,402
and we had something to ask you.
116
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,534
We really want you
to be the guest of honor.
117
00:06:02,858 --> 00:06:03,734
Oh, my!
118
00:06:04,245 --> 00:06:06,861
- It'd be amazing if you came.
- Yeah, you have to come.
119
00:06:06,986 --> 00:06:09,281
- Who made this?
- We did.
120
00:06:09,406 --> 00:06:10,667
- How?
- Photoshop.
121
00:06:10,835 --> 00:06:12,164
- What?
- Computers.
122
00:06:16,314 --> 00:06:17,674
Why are you all dolled up?
123
00:06:17,842 --> 00:06:19,404
It's a long story.
124
00:06:19,529 --> 00:06:21,782
I'm the guest of honor
at this gay bar{ tonight}.
125
00:06:21,963 --> 00:06:24,299
I guess gay men
are starting to like me.
126
00:06:24,799 --> 00:06:27,233
I don't know,{I guess }
they think I'm fabulous or something.
127
00:06:27,777 --> 00:06:29,196
You look good, girl.
128
00:06:29,321 --> 00:06:30,938
You gonna turn somebody tonight.
129
00:06:35,819 --> 00:06:37,660
That was, hands down,
the best interaction
130
00:06:37,785 --> 00:06:39,238
I've ever had with Donna.
131
00:06:40,973 --> 00:06:43,059
This is Marcia Langman
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00:06:43,410 --> 00:06:46,870
from the Society
for Family Stability Foundation.
133
00:06:47,552 --> 00:06:50,105
- Hello. I love your top.
- Thank you so much.
134
00:06:50,230 --> 00:06:53,585
I was hoping you had a moment to discuss
the events at the zoo yesterday.
135
00:06:53,710 --> 00:06:56,171
Well, I have nothing
to do with this, so...
136
00:06:56,782 --> 00:07:00,404
What can I do for you
and those fine people at...
137
00:07:00,908 --> 00:07:02,076
the SFSF?
138
00:07:02,429 --> 00:07:03,230
Well...
139
00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:06,431
you could resign.
If you're up for it.
140
00:07:08,138 --> 00:07:09,142
You're serious?
141
00:07:09,339 --> 00:07:12,462
When you performed
a marriage for gay penguins
142
00:07:12,818 --> 00:07:15,519
using taxpayer money
on government property,
143
00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:17,873
you were symbolically taking a stand
144
00:07:17,998 --> 00:07:20,348
in favor of the gay marriage agenda.
145
00:07:21,196 --> 00:07:23,103
I'm sorry,
but hold on a second there.
146
00:07:23,228 --> 00:07:26,047
Marcia, that was
not my intention at all.
147
00:07:26,619 --> 00:07:28,537
Why else would you marry penguins?
148
00:07:29,294 --> 00:07:31,788
Because I firmly believed
that it would be cute.
149
00:07:31,913 --> 00:07:32,913
And it was.
150
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,334
Are you married?
151
00:07:35,698 --> 00:07:37,116
Not yet, Marcia.
152
00:07:37,716 --> 00:07:39,131
Soon.
Probably.
153
00:07:39,299 --> 00:07:41,834
I have a plan, but not...
no, not now.
154
00:07:41,959 --> 00:07:45,053
Not dating anyone yet.
Focusing on my career, but...
155
00:07:45,396 --> 00:07:46,577
I thought so.
156
00:07:46,702 --> 00:07:49,052
So you couldn't possibly understand.
157
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:50,929
But when gays marry,
158
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:53,645
it ruins marriage
for the rest of us.
159
00:07:54,064 --> 00:07:56,164
So either you annul the wedding
160
00:07:56,566 --> 00:07:58,775
or I'll publicly
ask for your resignation.
161
00:08:01,196 --> 00:08:02,148
You know what?
162
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:04,554
I'm terrible with directions.
If I'm heading to the parking{ lot},
163
00:08:04,679 --> 00:08:06,909
- do I make a left{ out of here}, or{ do} I go right?
- {It's a }Left.
164
00:08:07,632 --> 00:08:09,411
- You're welcome.
- Annul the wedding!
165
00:08:16,311 --> 00:08:18,132
I'm supposed
to meet Leslie for lunch,
166
00:08:18,257 --> 00:08:20,464
but she actually works, so...
167
00:08:22,332 --> 00:08:25,023
Mark was brought to my hospital
the night of the accident.
168
00:08:25,148 --> 00:08:26,553
{pos(192,230)}He was here for a week.
169
00:08:26,721 --> 00:08:28,764
{pos(192,230)}I think when his head hit the ground
170
00:08:28,946 --> 00:08:30,631
{pos(192,230)}it must've knocked something loose,
171
00:08:30,756 --> 00:08:33,506
{pos(192,230)}because he's actually
a pretty nice guy now.
172
00:08:34,751 --> 00:08:36,605
{pos(192,230)}And Andy, after we broke up,
173
00:08:36,773 --> 00:08:39,215
{pos(192,230)}he told me he was going to Kansas
174
00:08:39,423 --> 00:08:40,776
{pos(192,230)}to climb mountains.
175
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:45,389
So, I don't... I don't
really know where he is.
176
00:08:45,856 --> 00:08:48,158
Have you seen
that documentary about food yet?
177
00:08:48,326 --> 00:08:51,217
No, I haven't. But I heard
it's really good. I want to see it.
178
00:08:51,593 --> 00:08:52,928
We should go together.
179
00:08:54,281 --> 00:08:55,281
What?
180
00:08:55,850 --> 00:08:57,463
I don't...
I don't think so.
181
00:08:57,588 --> 00:08:59,753
That would be like a date.
182
00:09:01,270 --> 00:09:02,370
Say no more.
183
00:09:04,515 --> 00:09:05,665
I hate salad.
184
00:09:07,751 --> 00:09:09,680
I don't want to ever keep secrets
from you.
185
00:09:09,848 --> 00:09:10,793
Me neither.
186
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:13,313
{Look, }Let's invent our own secret language
that only we understand,
187
00:09:13,438 --> 00:09:16,479
and then we can use it around people
and no one will know what we're{ talking about}saying.
188
00:09:18,555 --> 00:09:21,674
But in the meantime,
I'm just gonna tell you in English,
189
00:09:21,799 --> 00:09:23,777
Mark kind of asked me out.
190
00:09:25,056 --> 00:09:26,280
He weirdly asked me
191
00:09:26,448 --> 00:09:28,164
to go see a movie with him.
192
00:09:28,289 --> 00:09:29,741
And I said no, of course.
193
00:09:29,909 --> 00:09:30,936
But I just...
194
00:09:31,061 --> 00:09:32,869
I just wanted to let you know.
195
00:09:35,751 --> 00:09:37,833
I'm feeling a lot of confusing things
right now.
196
00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:40,151
No, of course you are.
197
00:09:40,336 --> 00:09:43,266
And your friendship
is the most important thing to me.
198
00:09:44,132 --> 00:09:45,729
And he's off-limits.
199
00:09:49,512 --> 00:09:50,512
Thank you.
200
00:09:51,639 --> 00:09:53,784
{I want you to know }I was really serious
about that secret language.
201
00:09:53,909 --> 00:09:54,641
I know.
202
00:09:58,132 --> 00:09:59,739
I can't believe this is a gay bar.
203
00:09:59,864 --> 00:10:02,838
Especially with that heterosexual cowboy
greeting us on the way in.
204
00:10:02,963 --> 00:10:04,192
Where should I drink now?
205
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,862
There's a bar{ on eighth street} called
Pitchers and Catchers. You can go there.
206
00:10:08,226 --> 00:10:09,406
{Listen, }Here's the plan.
207
00:10:09,574 --> 00:10:11,159
Our position is we have no position.
208
00:10:11,284 --> 00:10:13,010
So let's say
thank you for the party,
209
00:10:13,135 --> 00:10:16,538
but we regretfully decline
your offer to honor me.
210
00:10:16,858 --> 00:10:18,206
{My God!}I can't believe you came.
211
00:10:19,778 --> 00:10:22,085
- It's Leslie Knope!
- Leslie Knope, you're my hero.
212
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:23,628
Nice.
213
00:10:23,796 --> 00:10:25,760
- You are looking hot.
- Really?
214
00:10:26,784 --> 00:10:27,820
Thank you, Ben!
215
00:10:27,945 --> 00:10:30,145
I'm really enjoying this hug.
216
00:10:30,936 --> 00:10:32,846
It's so nice, but I need
to tell you something.
217
00:10:33,014 --> 00:10:35,208
- This one is on us.
- Well, if it's free.
218
00:10:44,918 --> 00:10:47,986
She's Leslie Knope
and she wants to recruit you.
219
00:10:50,782 --> 00:10:52,856
Oh, my. Okay, please...
220
00:10:54,644 --> 00:10:56,491
gentlemen, first of all...
221
00:10:56,835 --> 00:11:00,049
I would like to say thank you so much
for throwing me this party.
222
00:11:00,174 --> 00:11:02,292
Especially on a night
when the Colts are playing.
223
00:11:04,213 --> 00:11:05,713
We love you, Leslie!
224
00:11:09,643 --> 00:11:10,853
This is green.
225
00:11:21,104 --> 00:11:24,943
I wanted to tell you that I wasn't
really trying to take a stand
226
00:11:25,343 --> 00:11:27,679
when I married those...
227
00:11:28,218 --> 00:11:29,218
penguins.
228
00:11:31,219 --> 00:11:32,572
You're chanting my name.
229
00:11:36,194 --> 00:11:37,668
I just have one thing to say.
230
00:11:37,793 --> 00:11:40,120
Together we can
change Pawnee forever!
231
00:11:40,245 --> 00:11:41,345
Let's dance!
232
00:11:45,089 --> 00:11:48,130
Leslie Knope's in the building, y'all.
Let's get wild!
233
00:11:54,804 --> 00:11:57,087
- I've seen so many dudes
from city hall here tonight,
234
00:11:57,212 --> 00:11:58,262
it's crazy.
235
00:11:59,132 --> 00:12:00,926
But I guess
they've seen me here too.
236
00:12:01,051 --> 00:12:02,670
So, that's not great.
237
00:12:05,745 --> 00:12:07,440
I got your text, is everything okay?
238
00:12:08,016 --> 00:12:10,612
They're having a party in my honor.
Go to the bar.
239
00:12:10,737 --> 00:12:12,777
If you're my friend,
you can drink for free.
240
00:12:14,332 --> 00:12:17,534
And maybe next time, don't use the words
"medical emergency."
241
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,744
I'm so glad you're here!
242
00:12:19,912 --> 00:12:22,289
- I'm really sober.
- Okay, I'll get you a drink.
243
00:12:29,756 --> 00:12:31,496
You know why tonight's fun?
244
00:12:31,621 --> 00:12:33,371
'cause everyone's so gay.
245
00:12:34,007 --> 00:12:37,066
And they know how to have fun,
and the dancing!
246
00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:39,105
Just...
247
00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:41,755
it's everyone is just who they are,
248
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,644
and who they are
is just stone-cold gay.
249
00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:01,495
I'm having such a nice time{ tonight}.
250
00:13:01,799 --> 00:13:03,758
I've met many interesting people.
251
00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:06,441
And there's two bisexual guys here,
252
00:13:06,566 --> 00:13:08,535
and I got both
of their phone numbers.
253
00:13:19,177 --> 00:13:20,207
All morning.
254
00:13:26,529 --> 00:13:27,687
Have fun last night?
255
00:13:27,855 --> 00:13:31,099
I had three drinks named after me,
so that's pretty fun.
256
00:13:31,224 --> 00:13:33,668
Plus, Ben and Derek
are taking me shopping on Saturday.
257
00:13:33,793 --> 00:13:35,904
And we're gonna find out
my actual bra size.
258
00:13:37,232 --> 00:13:39,366
I guess I'm kind of like
queen of the gays.
259
00:13:40,173 --> 00:13:41,332
Bully for you.
260
00:13:41,457 --> 00:13:44,371
I just got a phone call.
They want you to go on Pawnee Today.
261
00:13:44,703 --> 00:13:46,581
That's huge!
What's the topic?
262
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:51,127
That Marcia from the family thing
is calling for your resignation.
263
00:13:51,933 --> 00:13:53,672
You gotta go on and defend yourself.
264
00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:56,925
Why? I haven't even officially
taken a stand on gay marriage.
265
00:13:57,922 --> 00:14:01,352
That's funny, somebody just told me
you were queen of the gays.
266
00:14:03,002 --> 00:14:04,140
That was me.
267
00:14:06,606 --> 00:14:08,642
Pawnee Today, with Joan Callamezzo.
268
00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:10,799
It's kind of like
the Meet The Press of our town.
269
00:14:10,924 --> 00:14:12,273
It's the big time{, Leslie}.
270
00:14:12,398 --> 00:14:14,192
I know, it is.
I'm nervous.
271
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,989
{pos(192,250)}I just wish I was here
under different circumstances.
272
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:18,323
{pos(192,250)}Guess who!
273
00:14:18,934 --> 00:14:21,116
{pos(192,250)}Megan Fox?
One of the Desperate Housewives?
274
00:14:22,034 --> 00:14:23,326
{pos(192,250)}Joan Callamezzo.
275
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:25,753
{pos(192,250)}What's up{, gorgeous}?
Good to see you!
276
00:14:25,878 --> 00:14:27,872
{pos(192,250)}Tom comes {on the show }all the time.
Joan loves him.
277
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:30,041
{pos(200,260)}You have the softest skin
of any woman in Pawnee.
278
00:14:31,179 --> 00:14:32,433
I wish you could reach
279
00:14:32,558 --> 00:14:35,194
from your TV screen
and just touch Joan's skin for a second.
280
00:14:35,319 --> 00:14:37,841
That's sweet.{- You'd have a treat.}
You're pretty soft yourself.
281
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,176
- How are your kids doing?
- They're pretty good.
282
00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:43,013
Is it tough for them
to have a mother that is so beautiful?
283
00:14:43,181 --> 00:14:45,015
What's it like being
the most attractive {woman in Pawnee}?
284
00:14:45,221 --> 00:14:48,435
{You }Keep up those funnies.
I'll{m gonna } have to invite you over for supper.
285
00:14:48,603 --> 00:14:50,228
I'll have to come over for supper.
286
00:14:50,572 --> 00:14:51,604
You well seem.
287
00:14:56,772 --> 00:14:57,734
My God!
288
00:14:58,196 --> 00:14:59,571
Ann Perkins.
How you doing?
289
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,824
I'm good.
How was mountain climbing?
290
00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:05,493
What?
291
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,041
Can I come in?
I {just }wanted to talk to you for a second.
292
00:15:11,743 --> 00:15:12,624
Sure.
293
00:15:16,441 --> 00:15:19,090
We have a controversial topic today.
294
00:15:19,258 --> 00:15:21,808
The gay penguin marriage
at the Pawnee Zoo.
295
00:15:22,386 --> 00:15:25,263
{pos(192,210)}So Marcia,
what is all the fuss about?
296
00:15:25,656 --> 00:15:27,956
The fuss is that Miss Knope
297
00:15:28,184 --> 00:15:31,561
{pos(192,200)}claimed that she was not advocating
for this gay cause.
298
00:15:32,161 --> 00:15:33,667
{pos(192,200)}And then that very night,
299
00:15:33,792 --> 00:15:37,062
{pos(192,200)}she was the guest of honor
at a pro-gay marriage rally
300
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:39,375
{pos(192,200)}at a bar called The Bulge.
301
00:15:39,946 --> 00:15:41,112
{Miss Knope, }How do you respond?
302
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:44,032
{pos(192,200)}I'd first like to say that I wasn't
trying to advocate for anyone.
303
00:15:44,404 --> 00:15:47,241
I did not know
that both of the penguins were males,
304
00:15:47,434 --> 00:15:50,634
and I was just trying
to perform a cute, fun ceremony
305
00:15:50,856 --> 00:15:52,290
to promote our local zoo.
306
00:15:52,458 --> 00:15:53,875
I have to say that
307
00:15:54,050 --> 00:15:56,357
that stunt that you did
with the penguins
308
00:15:56,482 --> 00:15:58,171
was clearly over the line.
309
00:15:58,339 --> 00:16:01,509
{Now, marcia, }What if anything can Miss Knope do
310
00:16:01,634 --> 00:16:03,051
to make it right?
311
00:16:03,439 --> 00:16:06,677
{pos(230,260)}- We don't want to be unreasonable.
- Of course not.
312
00:16:06,993 --> 00:16:09,891
We think
that she should separate the penguins,
313
00:16:10,059 --> 00:16:11,835
annul the marriage,
314
00:16:12,103 --> 00:16:13,269
reimburse the taxpayers
315
00:16:13,437 --> 00:16:15,605
{pos(210,260)}for the cost of the wedding,
of course.
316
00:16:16,078 --> 00:16:17,649
And then resign.
317
00:16:17,889 --> 00:16:19,109
Is that it?
318
00:16:19,277 --> 00:16:21,006
- That would do it.
- Anything else?
319
00:16:21,131 --> 00:16:23,571
{pos(230,260)}Want me to jump off a building?
Perform Harry Caray?
320
00:16:23,739 --> 00:16:25,782
{pos(205,260)}Move to a different town.
No, I kid.
321
00:16:26,442 --> 00:16:27,644
{pos(205,260)}Full of ideas {here }today.
322
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:30,303
This is the reason
why people don't go into politics.
323
00:16:30,428 --> 00:16:31,864
Because{ you know,} I bust my ass
324
00:16:31,989 --> 00:16:33,977
for the people in this city,
and I can't win.
325
00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:35,857
I have one night of fun
326
00:16:35,982 --> 00:16:38,713
{pos(220,260)}with some of the best dancers
I've ever danced with,
327
00:16:38,838 --> 00:16:40,784
and suddenly
everybody's freaking out?
328
00:16:41,007 --> 00:16:42,970
Look at that!
We're lighting up here.
329
00:16:43,095 --> 00:16:45,301
Good, great, let's go for it.
Bring it on.
330
00:16:45,469 --> 00:16:46,648
How does this work?
331
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:49,662
{pos(210,260)}- There, you press that one...
- You're on the air.
332
00:16:50,330 --> 00:16:52,081
I think that lady should resign.
333
00:16:52,206 --> 00:16:54,165
Good, thank you.
Next caller.
334
00:16:54,669 --> 00:16:57,177
You should resign
and repay your salary.
335
00:16:57,302 --> 00:16:58,639
Two for resign.
336
00:16:58,764 --> 00:17:00,144
Thank you, next caller.
337
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,278
{pos(235,260)}I just want to say that I love the zoo
and the zoo is really fun.
338
00:17:05,126 --> 00:17:07,360
Thank you.
That's really sweet.
339
00:17:07,522 --> 00:17:09,242
And I think you should resign.
340
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,164
You look great.
You look amazing.
341
00:17:14,332 --> 00:17:16,734
Thanks.
You look fancy.
342
00:17:17,627 --> 00:17:18,862
Yeah. The monkey suit.
343
00:17:18,987 --> 00:17:21,087
It cost 3,000 bucks,
but totally worth it.
344
00:17:21,417 --> 00:17:22,467
I sold out.
345
00:17:23,260 --> 00:17:26,769
I got a boring office job in town,
so I gotta dress up.
346
00:17:26,894 --> 00:17:28,310
You know, the grind.
347
00:17:28,435 --> 00:17:31,222
But I'm really happy,
and I really feel like I've matured...
348
00:17:32,087 --> 00:17:32,942
a lot.
349
00:17:33,568 --> 00:17:34,840
Good, that's...
350
00:17:34,965 --> 00:17:36,501
I'm happy for you.
351
00:17:36,896 --> 00:17:39,255
{SoListen, }I was sitting
in the cubicle the other day,
352
00:17:39,380 --> 00:17:40,722
doing some thinking,
353
00:17:40,847 --> 00:17:41,983
some growing...
354
00:17:42,151 --> 00:17:44,944
- And some maturing.
- Yes, maturing.
355
00:17:47,171 --> 00:17:49,115
Darn it if I don't just miss you.
356
00:17:50,605 --> 00:17:52,755
And... "a"-cakes, just let me...
357
00:17:53,793 --> 00:17:55,267
I love you, and...
358
00:17:56,299 --> 00:17:59,584
I'm {just really}sorry for the way { hat}I treated you.
I was the worst boyfriend ever.
359
00:17:59,752 --> 00:18:01,669
I know that.
And I...
360
00:18:02,111 --> 00:18:04,506
{And}I {
eally}think it would behoove us
to give it another shot.
361
00:18:05,703 --> 00:18:06,853
Yeah, look...
362
00:18:07,217 --> 00:18:09,360
I'm really happy
for you about your job
363
00:18:09,485 --> 00:18:11,859
and that you've learned
some new words,
364
00:18:11,984 --> 00:18:14,390
but I'm sure about my decision.
365
00:18:17,517 --> 00:18:19,164
OK. Say no more.
366
00:18:19,438 --> 00:18:21,688
Listen, hit me up on my cell phone.
367
00:18:21,813 --> 00:18:23,316
I'll be around.
368
00:18:23,799 --> 00:18:26,152
And if you wanna talk
or grab coffee,
369
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,154
- or something like that, OK?
- OK.
370
00:18:28,322 --> 00:18:30,156
Gotta get back to the office.
371
00:18:30,597 --> 00:18:32,701
- Have a good one. Good seeing you.
- Bye.
372
00:18:46,882 --> 00:18:49,438
The hardest part
about living in this pit?
373
00:18:49,845 --> 00:18:52,295
It's probably keeping
my suit pressed.
374
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:57,370
And the rats.
375
00:18:58,227 --> 00:19:00,895
It's like a freakin' rat parade
every night.
376
00:19:01,287 --> 00:19:04,748
I just want to be close to her house
because I need to protect her.
377
00:19:04,873 --> 00:19:08,236
'cause there are some weird people
that live around here.
378
00:19:08,404 --> 00:19:11,284
If you let penguins get married,
where does it end?
379
00:19:11,409 --> 00:19:13,977
I mean, would you let me
marry my guinea pig?
380
00:19:14,102 --> 00:19:17,871
Because I {
eally do}want to marry my guinea pig.
I'll take my answer off the air.
381
00:19:18,039 --> 00:19:21,508
- {I think}That's a valuable point.
- {You know, }Attendance is up 30% at the zoo{y the way}.
382
00:19:21,633 --> 00:19:22,842
You're welcome!
383
00:19:22,967 --> 00:19:26,254
And that penguin wedding was cute{, damn it}.
And I'm not gonna annul it.
384
00:19:26,422 --> 00:19:27,797
I'd ask you to reconsider.
385
00:19:27,965 --> 00:19:30,592
Well, I'd ask you to stop asking me.
386
00:19:30,838 --> 00:19:33,219
Because It's not gonna happen,
Marcia
387
00:19:33,387 --> 00:19:35,732
- Is that right?
- Last time I checked, I don't think...
388
00:19:35,857 --> 00:19:37,307
I murdered anyone,
389
00:19:37,475 --> 00:19:40,103
or had an affair, or did drugs!
390
00:19:40,351 --> 00:19:41,919
But I apologize.
391
00:19:42,044 --> 00:19:45,273
I apologize for having fun
and for making something cute.
392
00:19:47,942 --> 00:19:51,342
- Where are you from originally?
- What did I do?
393
00:19:53,184 --> 00:19:56,743
- So you will not be annulling...
- No, I will not be annulling.
394
00:20:01,753 --> 00:20:02,903
Look at them.
395
00:20:03,625 --> 00:20:05,687
They're just in their own little...
396
00:20:05,812 --> 00:20:07,312
penguin love bubble.
397
00:20:08,805 --> 00:20:09,991
{I guess}That's what it's like
398
00:20:10,116 --> 00:20:12,889
when you meet your mate
and know you're gonna be together{ orever}.
399
00:20:18,815 --> 00:20:21,319
You know what I realized?{- What?}
We're just animals.
400
00:20:21,444 --> 00:20:23,454
We don't know anything about love.
401
00:20:24,855 --> 00:20:26,539
{I think}You should go {on that date}with Mark.
402
00:20:27,505 --> 00:20:29,131
Really, {seriously,}I thought about it{nd...}.
403
00:20:29,256 --> 00:20:32,654
Look, he might not be my gay penguin,
but he could be yours.
404
00:20:33,016 --> 00:20:35,949
Look, I told you, I'm not
going on a date with him.
405
00:20:36,117 --> 00:20:39,621
{OK, fine. }If you don't wanna go out with him,
don't{ go out with him}. But don't {
ot}do it because of me.
406
00:20:39,746 --> 00:20:40,912
{'Cause}I'm {
eally}fine with it.
407
00:20:41,971 --> 00:20:43,998
All that's important{ o me}
is { hat}we're {still}friends.
408
00:20:44,316 --> 00:20:46,064
- Me too.
- Good, great.
409
00:20:49,576 --> 00:20:52,971
Plus, I already called and told him
that you were dying to go out, {with him, so }have fun.
410
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:58,288
So I transferred
the penguins to a zoo in Iowa.
411
00:20:58,556 --> 00:21:01,283
Gay marriage is legal there,
so hopefully they'll be happy.
412
00:21:01,492 --> 00:21:03,257
At least they'll be together.
413
00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:11,159
Look! Six Flags!
I should take them on a water slide.
414
00:21:11,598 --> 00:21:14,148
They might die.
But it would be so cute!