1
00:00:16,091 --> 00:00:17,663
Greg Pikitis.

2
00:00:19,264 --> 00:00:22,509
- You're the parks lady, right?
- That's right. I'm the parks lady.

3
00:00:23,836 --> 00:00:27,015
And I'm here to tell you
that this year, it ends.

4
00:00:27,315 --> 00:00:28,809
This kid makes me crazy.

5
00:00:29,024 --> 00:00:30,934
We got a history, Greg and I.

6
00:00:31,336 --> 00:00:33,830
He absolutely terrorizes
the park system.

7
00:00:34,489 --> 00:00:36,861
Every halloween
someone defaces the statue

8
00:00:36,986 --> 00:00:39,045
of mayor Percy in Ramsett park.

9
00:00:39,311 --> 00:00:42,813
And I know it's Greg Pikitis,
but I've never been able to prove it.

10
00:00:43,190 --> 00:00:45,702
He's like an invisible,
adolescent James Bond

11
00:00:45,827 --> 00:00:48,110
super-villain criminal mastermind.

12
00:00:50,138 --> 00:00:53,115
Or maybe someone else is doing it.
But I really feel like it's this kid.

13
00:00:53,283 --> 00:00:55,563
Got the entire parks department
watching you,

14
00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:57,044
my boyfriend's a cop.

15
00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:58,789
So don't even try it.

16
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:01,753
- I don't understand.
- I think you do.

17
00:01:02,239 --> 00:01:03,375
It ends today.

18
00:01:03,922 --> 00:01:04,922
It ends...

19
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:06,482
to...

20
00:01:07,407 --> 00:01:08,213
day.

21
00:01:11,490 --> 00:01:13,302
Thanks for stopping by.
You look great.

22
00:01:14,094 --> 00:01:15,094
Thank you.

23
00:01:15,675 --> 00:01:16,725
Ends today.

24
00:01:17,098 --> 00:01:18,515
- Feygnasse Team -

25
00:01:18,975 --> 00:01:20,601
.:: La Fabrique ::.

26
00:01:21,389 --> 00:01:23,430
Episode 207
<i>Greg Pikitis</i>

27
00:01:24,593 --> 00:01:25,647
mpm

28
00:01:26,274 --> 00:01:27,358
lestat78

29
00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:39,536
Hey, parks department.

30
00:01:40,189 --> 00:01:41,239
Ann's here.

31
00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:44,108
Just to remind you...

32
00:01:44,233 --> 00:01:47,186
Tonight, 7:00, my house,
in costume.

33
00:01:47,311 --> 00:01:48,504
Everybody in?

34
00:01:52,133 --> 00:01:54,342
Halloween is my favorite holiday.

35
00:01:54,467 --> 00:01:57,338
It's just the best.
And I don't have to work.

36
00:01:57,463 --> 00:02:00,332
Hey, slutty teenage girls
dressed as sexy kittens,

37
00:02:00,457 --> 00:02:02,651
pump your own stomachs this year.

38
00:02:03,353 --> 00:02:04,228
One thing.

39
00:02:04,502 --> 00:02:07,243
The people in this room now
are the people I invited.

40
00:02:07,368 --> 00:02:10,250
Plus Leslie and Donna,
so don't tell anybody.

41
00:02:10,375 --> 00:02:13,438
- Who's not invited, then?
- What's going on, cupcake?

42
00:02:13,563 --> 00:02:15,572
Excited about the party tonight.

43
00:02:17,132 --> 00:02:19,743
You're coming.
I was just about to tell you.

44
00:02:20,303 --> 00:02:21,903
Jerry already told me.

45
00:02:22,298 --> 00:02:25,159
Can't wait to see
how tiny your costume is.

46
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,296
- What time does it start?
- 7:00.

47
00:02:28,636 --> 00:02:29,545
Perfect.

48
00:02:29,819 --> 00:02:31,269
Yeah, it's perfect.

49
00:02:32,257 --> 00:02:34,967
Check this out.
These are all the possible routes

50
00:02:35,241 --> 00:02:38,144
from Greg Pikitis' house
to the statue.

51
00:02:38,977 --> 00:02:42,266
That looks like something you would find
on the wall of a serial killer.

52
00:02:42,578 --> 00:02:44,450
In a way that's a compliment.

53
00:02:44,575 --> 00:02:45,925
Shows dedication.

54
00:02:46,447 --> 00:02:49,809
What's the big deal anyway?
I mean, a kid TPs some statue.

55
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,188
And all the trees
and all the benches.

56
00:02:52,313 --> 00:02:54,683
It takes us, like, ten days
to clean his mess up.

57
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:57,906
But more importantly, Pikitis sucks,
and I want to destroy him.

58
00:03:00,177 --> 00:03:02,391
If you destroy him early,
please come by.

59
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,428
I will.

60
00:03:05,498 --> 00:03:07,776
How is someone gonna be able
to get through that door?

61
00:03:08,992 --> 00:03:10,042
What the...

62
00:03:10,346 --> 00:03:11,837
Are you kidding me?

63
00:03:12,005 --> 00:03:14,131
Jerry, relax. Here.

64
00:03:14,959 --> 00:03:16,008
William Percy.

65
00:03:16,574 --> 00:03:19,145
One of Pawnee's greatest mayors,
and a true hero.

66
00:03:19,270 --> 00:03:22,201
During the Pawnee bread factory
fire of 1922,

67
00:03:22,326 --> 00:03:24,391
he ran back into a burning building

68
00:03:24,559 --> 00:03:27,185
and saved the beloved secret recipe
for Pawnee pumpernickel.

69
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:29,646
Didn't 30 people die in that fire?

70
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,250
He wasn't superman.

71
00:03:32,748 --> 00:03:35,841
He looks like Ron Swanson.
Is that who this is based on?

72
00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:37,654
No, it's based on William Percy.

73
00:03:38,114 --> 00:03:39,618
Were you listening?

74
00:03:41,484 --> 00:03:42,814
Okay, Andy. Good news.

75
00:03:42,939 --> 00:03:45,131
You're officially
on the parks department payroll.

76
00:03:45,256 --> 00:03:46,278
$8 an hour.

77
00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:48,790
Commit this to memory.

78
00:03:49,090 --> 00:03:50,042
You see him,

79
00:03:50,210 --> 00:03:51,360
you stop him.

80
00:03:51,485 --> 00:03:54,087
- Knock his head off if you have to.
- Don't do that.

81
00:03:54,496 --> 00:03:56,637
But I give you permission
to use excessive force.

82
00:03:56,762 --> 00:03:58,759
- Don't use excessive force.
- Don't go overboard.

83
00:03:59,144 --> 00:04:01,428
Just stop him.
By any means necessary.

84
00:04:02,889 --> 00:04:04,806
Just stop him.
You know what I mean.

85
00:04:06,382 --> 00:04:08,679
A week ago, I had nothing.

86
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,202
Now I have a part-time job,

87
00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:13,820
I'm gonna make 32 bucks tonight.

88
00:04:14,744 --> 00:04:16,844
I owe Leslie everything I have.

89
00:04:17,176 --> 00:04:19,576
Which after tonight
will be 39 bucks.

90
00:04:28,023 --> 00:04:30,082
- Am I early?
- Nope, you are right on time.

91
00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:32,376
I like your costume.

92
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,400
Thanks.
Raggedy Ann.

93
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:36,641
One of my favorite books
when I was a kid.

94
00:04:39,329 --> 00:04:41,079
- I'm a pirate.
- Right.

95
00:04:43,184 --> 00:04:44,838
Dr. Harris, how are you?

96
00:04:47,442 --> 00:04:50,000
This is Ron Swanson
from the parks department.

97
00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:52,370
I know him from that thing
that I'm doing.

98
00:04:52,495 --> 00:04:53,945
This is Dr. Harris.

99
00:04:54,369 --> 00:04:56,219
- You're a doctor.
- Yeah.

100
00:04:57,490 --> 00:04:59,790
- I meant your costume.
- I got it.

101
00:05:02,234 --> 00:05:03,707
Worlds colliding.

102
00:05:04,290 --> 00:05:05,540
Always awkward.

103
00:05:08,465 --> 00:05:10,187
8:22 p.m.

104
00:05:10,312 --> 00:05:12,791
Suspect still with friends
in parking lot.

105
00:05:13,804 --> 00:05:15,836
He looks obnoxious and irritating

106
00:05:16,004 --> 00:05:17,854
even from a great distance.

107
00:05:20,435 --> 00:05:21,383
Confirmed.

108
00:05:21,707 --> 00:05:24,279
Normally I hate working
on halloween, but...

109
00:05:24,721 --> 00:05:26,877
it's nice hanging out with Leslie.

110
00:05:27,002 --> 00:05:29,560
You know, she's focused,
she's committed,

111
00:05:30,293 --> 00:05:32,673
and she made out with me
in my cop car.

112
00:05:33,059 --> 00:05:34,313
It was pretty neat.

113
00:05:36,399 --> 00:05:39,403
I shouldn't have said that.
That's clear to me now.

114
00:05:48,612 --> 00:05:50,645
Remember my boyfriend, Derek?

115
00:05:51,016 --> 00:05:52,372
And his boyfriend, Ben?

116
00:05:54,373 --> 00:05:56,793
It's totally okay
that you didn't wear a costume.

117
00:05:57,436 --> 00:05:59,087
I did.
I'm a straight person.

118
00:06:00,950 --> 00:06:02,946
- Sorry I'm late.
- See?

119
00:06:05,345 --> 00:06:08,346
Sorry it's a little bit lame right now,
but we'll get it going.

120
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:11,058
I passed up a gay
halloween party to be here.

121
00:06:11,183 --> 00:06:13,679
Do you know how much fun
gay halloween parties are?

122
00:06:13,804 --> 00:06:17,610
Last year I saw three Jonas Brothers
make out with three Robert Pattinsons.

123
00:06:17,735 --> 00:06:18,985
It was amazing.

124
00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:21,401
So you're the Mark
that Ann is dating.

125
00:06:22,166 --> 00:06:23,666
I suppose that I am.

126
00:06:23,946 --> 00:06:26,448
- We're very protective of Ann.
- We look out for her.

127
00:06:26,616 --> 00:06:29,200
So you kind of dropped the ball
with Andy, then, didn't you?

128
00:06:30,954 --> 00:06:33,148
I loved Andy.
Oh, such a sweetheart.

129
00:06:33,273 --> 00:06:36,017
- Is Andy coming tonight?
- You should get back with Andy.

130
00:06:36,142 --> 00:06:37,542
Who needs a drink?

131
00:06:37,927 --> 00:06:38,752
I do.

132
00:06:39,449 --> 00:06:41,831
Suspect laughing with friends

133
00:06:42,071 --> 00:06:44,382
and playing
with his stupid skateboard

134
00:06:45,253 --> 00:06:47,796
in a snide, turd-ish manner.

135
00:06:48,202 --> 00:06:49,184
"Turd-ish"?

136
00:06:50,157 --> 00:06:51,385
Like a turd.

137
00:06:51,510 --> 00:06:52,907
Like a little turd.

138
00:06:53,263 --> 00:06:55,810
Hey, listen.
Your scare tactics clearly worked,

139
00:06:56,734 --> 00:06:59,877
you got Andy guarding the statue,
why don't we go to Ann's party?

140
00:07:00,582 --> 00:07:01,822
Have a little fun.

141
00:07:03,501 --> 00:07:06,884
We wanted to cover that block anyway.
Wanted a police presence, so that's...

142
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:09,595
This is within the bou...
confines of...

143
00:07:09,902 --> 00:07:10,742
Let's go.

144
00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:14,270
- Let's pick up my costume at my office.
- Got it.

145
00:07:14,395 --> 00:07:16,545
Can't we fire a warning shot
over his head?

146
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,369
No, babe, don't touch that.

147
00:07:18,940 --> 00:07:20,085
Leaving location.

148
00:07:20,253 --> 00:07:21,906
Look at stupid suspect.

149
00:07:22,796 --> 00:07:23,880
I hate suspect.

150
00:07:25,127 --> 00:07:27,589
- Where are my keys?
- Looks like it's open.

151
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:28,564
Really?

152
00:07:43,568 --> 00:07:45,844
We've been tailing
that kid for a couple hours.

153
00:07:45,969 --> 00:07:47,841
It must've been somebody else.

154
00:07:47,966 --> 00:07:49,216
It was Pikitis.

155
00:07:51,023 --> 00:07:52,273
Believe me now.

156
00:07:52,801 --> 00:07:54,786
That doesn't mean anything to me.

157
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:56,204
This is a peach pit.

158
00:07:57,659 --> 00:08:00,210
He was eating a peach
when I went to go talk to him.

159
00:08:00,335 --> 00:08:02,690
This is his ace of spades.
This is his calling card,

160
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,359
this is what he leaves all his victims.
And it's still warm.

161
00:08:05,484 --> 00:08:07,507
Go and arrest him
and send this to the lab.

162
00:08:07,675 --> 00:08:09,173
We don't have a lab.

163
00:08:12,105 --> 00:08:14,180
You're underage.

164
00:08:14,756 --> 00:08:15,768
You're not.

165
00:08:17,607 --> 00:08:18,978
I'm gonna leave.

166
00:08:20,229 --> 00:08:22,745
- This isn't that fun.
- Didn't need to tell me that.

167
00:08:22,982 --> 00:08:24,220
I take this home.

168
00:08:24,345 --> 00:08:26,490
Nobody was drinking it,
so I'm gonna take it.

169
00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:29,976
Gonna take this too.
Been meaning to read it.

170
00:08:34,535 --> 00:08:35,998
This isn't strictly legal.

171
00:08:36,123 --> 00:08:38,348
We consult him for an hour,
and I got to let him go.

172
00:08:38,473 --> 00:08:41,131
You talk to him first.
You have a scary face.

173
00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:43,251
No, in a good way.
Scary cute.

174
00:08:44,503 --> 00:08:45,594
Go talk to him.

175
00:08:47,247 --> 00:08:49,242
I didn't do this, man.
I promise.

176
00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:52,302
Son, I'm a police officer,
okay, you shouldn't lie to me.

177
00:08:52,618 --> 00:08:53,722
I'm not.

178
00:08:53,847 --> 00:08:56,639
I've never been here before.
And why would I do this?

179
00:08:57,043 --> 00:08:59,862
Because you've had run-ins
with Miss Knope in the past.

180
00:09:01,092 --> 00:09:01,936
A second.

181
00:09:04,348 --> 00:09:05,973
<i>Ask him about the peach pit.</i>

182
00:09:06,871 --> 00:09:09,444
This isn't one-way glass, you know.
I can see you.

183
00:09:11,563 --> 00:09:13,357
You know, I like Knope.

184
00:09:13,645 --> 00:09:15,762
I screw with her
'cause she gets all riled up.

185
00:09:15,887 --> 00:09:18,161
And her face
gets all scrunched up like this.

186
00:09:18,477 --> 00:09:20,455
But I like her.
She's all right.

187
00:09:22,284 --> 00:09:23,284
You see?

188
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:24,883
What?

189
00:09:25,008 --> 00:09:27,251
I spent the whole day
decorating this place,

190
00:09:27,376 --> 00:09:29,226
and everybody's in the kitchen.

191
00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:32,383
- Why is everyone always in the kitchen?
- I think it's going fine.

192
00:09:33,047 --> 00:09:34,247
It's so quiet.

193
00:09:35,045 --> 00:09:36,915
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.

194
00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,040
This is a total failure.
This party is a failure.

195
00:09:40,412 --> 00:09:41,462
Oh, my God.

196
00:09:41,644 --> 00:09:43,969
No, it's not a failure, come on.

197
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:45,965
Do you have any mounds?

198
00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:48,334
Because all I can find
are almond joys.

199
00:09:48,459 --> 00:09:50,207
And almonds give me the squirts.

200
00:09:52,302 --> 00:09:53,071
I'm here.

201
00:09:53,387 --> 00:09:54,587
Statue's fine.

202
00:09:55,168 --> 00:09:57,697
"Crappy hallowieners".
That's hilarious.

203
00:09:57,822 --> 00:09:59,827
- Where's the kid?
- In the conference room,

204
00:09:59,995 --> 00:10:01,814
trying to hide his obvious guilt.

205
00:10:01,939 --> 00:10:04,543
I don't know what to tell you.
I don't think he did it.

206
00:10:04,834 --> 00:10:06,751
Yeah, he did,
and we need a confession.

207
00:10:08,891 --> 00:10:11,005
Andy and I are going to take a walk.

208
00:10:11,497 --> 00:10:14,634
And it's gonna be just you,
Pikitis, and these pliers.

209
00:10:15,044 --> 00:10:16,552
I'm not gonna torture this kid.

210
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,043
Nobody said torture.

211
00:10:18,973 --> 00:10:20,431
Let me take a run at him, boss?

212
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,820
In order to think
like one of these guys,

213
00:10:24,321 --> 00:10:26,062
you have to think like them.

214
00:10:26,378 --> 00:10:28,147
Yeah, he's never seen you before.

215
00:10:28,716 --> 00:10:30,686
So imply that you're
someone very important,

216
00:10:30,811 --> 00:10:32,985
and that you can make his life hell.

217
00:10:39,337 --> 00:10:41,119
Would you like
some boiling hot coffee?

218
00:10:41,537 --> 00:10:42,662
In the face?

219
00:10:46,707 --> 00:10:48,376
My name is Bert Macklin.

220
00:10:49,176 --> 00:10:51,376
I'm with the **** FBI.

221
00:10:52,882 --> 00:10:54,674
Are these the same kind of chips?

222
00:10:56,157 --> 00:10:58,219
- What's up, gorgeous?
- Perfect.

223
00:10:58,387 --> 00:11:00,347
Get your raggedy ass
over here, girl.

224
00:11:00,976 --> 00:11:02,056
Mad hatter?

225
00:11:02,224 --> 00:11:03,424
T- pain, baby.

226
00:11:03,716 --> 00:11:05,208
<i>She poppin', she rollin'</i>

227
00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:06,769
<i>She rollin'</i>

228
00:11:06,937 --> 00:11:08,563
<i>She climbin' the pole</i>

229
00:11:08,731 --> 00:11:11,099
<i>And I'm in love with the stripper</i>

230
00:11:11,704 --> 00:11:14,698
this isn't a stripper, it's my wife.
You remember her.

231
00:11:14,987 --> 00:11:16,821
- Thank you so much for inviting us.
- Sure.

232
00:11:16,989 --> 00:11:19,907
She's a surgeon at county general.
And she's super hot.

233
00:11:20,075 --> 00:11:23,536
Well, thank you for being a doctor
and not coming dressed as a doctor.

234
00:11:23,871 --> 00:11:26,721
Oh, my God, who'd be boring enough
to do that?

235
00:11:28,577 --> 00:11:30,273
What happened?
Did you tell everyone

236
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,600
they're gonna have to get
a bone marrow transplant?

237
00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:34,728
They look miserable.
This party's a disaster.

238
00:11:34,853 --> 00:11:36,413
- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.

239
00:11:36,538 --> 00:11:38,426
- Don't worry. We can fix this.
- Totally.

240
00:11:38,630 --> 00:11:39,886
Give us a second.

241
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,975
Looks like Andy's wearing him down.
I'm gonna go finish him off.

242
00:11:47,044 --> 00:11:49,643
That is the dumbest thing
I have ever heard.

243
00:11:49,768 --> 00:11:51,390
Why don't you shut up?

244
00:11:51,515 --> 00:11:54,817
- What's going on in here?
- He's a jerk! He is being such a jerk!

245
00:11:55,194 --> 00:11:57,236
That's an awful thing
to say to a human being!

246
00:11:57,404 --> 00:11:59,877
- Are you crying?
- No, I'm... I am not crying, okay?

247
00:12:00,002 --> 00:12:02,702
- I'm allergic to jerks!
- Okay, Andy, out.

248
00:12:02,827 --> 00:12:04,368
Fine! I don't even care!

249
00:12:04,536 --> 00:12:05,636
It's stupid!

250
00:12:07,910 --> 00:12:09,444
The gloves are coming off.

251
00:12:11,704 --> 00:12:14,013
- What's that?
- I think you know what that is.

252
00:12:14,831 --> 00:12:17,755
When I came to visit you at the school,
you were eating a peach.

253
00:12:18,241 --> 00:12:21,801
Then my office gets vandalized and
somebody leaves a peach pit on my desk.

254
00:12:22,013 --> 00:12:24,613
I don't think that's a coincidence.

255
00:12:25,603 --> 00:12:26,848
You nailed me.

256
00:12:27,059 --> 00:12:30,161
There is no way
that two different people could've eaten

257
00:12:30,286 --> 00:12:32,604
the same fruit, in the same day,

258
00:12:32,773 --> 00:12:34,357
in the same area of Indiana.

259
00:12:34,743 --> 00:12:36,341
Never mind that I was

260
00:12:36,466 --> 00:12:38,208
actually eating a plum

261
00:12:38,455 --> 00:12:39,876
when you saw me earlier.

262
00:12:44,093 --> 00:12:46,285
I know you did this.
I don't care what you say.

263
00:12:46,453 --> 00:12:48,246
You were in the parking lot
all night,

264
00:12:48,694 --> 00:12:51,127
- you found a way to get in here.
- Wait.

265
00:12:51,417 --> 00:12:52,874
How did you know that?

266
00:12:53,043 --> 00:12:55,185
Because I followed you, genius!

267
00:12:55,846 --> 00:12:57,760
If you followed me all night,

268
00:12:57,885 --> 00:12:59,674
then you know that it wasn't me!

269
00:13:00,634 --> 00:13:02,051
What is your problem?

270
00:13:02,219 --> 00:13:05,045
I've been very civil,
but I will waterboard you.

271
00:13:05,305 --> 00:13:06,187
Nope.

272
00:13:07,519 --> 00:13:10,288
I don't think she would make a good cop.
I would be

273
00:13:10,616 --> 00:13:13,381
frightened to live in a town
that she's the cop of, frankly.

274
00:13:14,189 --> 00:13:15,314
What are you doing?

275
00:13:15,732 --> 00:13:18,368
- Do you want me to liven things up?
- Of course I do.

276
00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:21,644
Then relax. Turn off all the lights
that don't have colored bulbs.

277
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,279
All right, y'all.

278
00:13:26,737 --> 00:13:28,863
Take the pigs in a blanket
and put them to sleep,

279
00:13:28,988 --> 00:13:30,621
it's time to get wild!

280
00:13:31,225 --> 00:13:34,166
Get this furniture out of here,
we're making a dance floor.

281
00:13:35,331 --> 00:13:36,303
Come on.

282
00:13:36,712 --> 00:13:39,528
Put the turkey wraps down.
We're about to get wild.

283
00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:45,255
Ron Swanson in the building!

284
00:13:50,684 --> 00:13:53,027
His mom's gonna be here soon.
Please, Dave, arrest him.

285
00:13:53,152 --> 00:13:55,354
- On what charge?
- Handcuff him to something.

286
00:13:55,961 --> 00:13:56,961
Greggy?

287
00:13:59,453 --> 00:14:00,317
Gregsy.

288
00:14:01,265 --> 00:14:02,387
Mrs. Pikitis.

289
00:14:02,512 --> 00:14:05,195
Hi, I'm Leslie Knope.
This is officer Sanderson.

290
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:08,419
- Bert Macklin. F.B.I.
- What do you think you're doing?

291
00:14:08,544 --> 00:14:11,578
You can't just hold a 16-year-old kid
against his will.

292
00:14:11,747 --> 00:14:13,663
We were questioning him
about this vandalism.

293
00:14:13,832 --> 00:14:16,590
- Do you have any evidence?
- Yes. Two words.

294
00:14:16,715 --> 00:14:18,377
- No, we don't...
- Peach pit.

295
00:14:19,838 --> 00:14:22,130
- His D.N.A. is all over it.
- We don't know that.

296
00:14:22,255 --> 00:14:25,185
We can get it tested,
and if it matches your D.N.A.,

297
00:14:25,469 --> 00:14:27,848
- you're going away for a long time.
- Is this a joke?

298
00:14:30,141 --> 00:14:31,723
I'm calling your shift commander.

299
00:14:32,027 --> 00:14:34,017
Monday morning,
I am calling your boss.

300
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,228
I don't know
who to call about you...

301
00:14:36,396 --> 00:14:38,393
- President of the U.S.A.
- Fine!

302
00:14:38,774 --> 00:14:40,539
If you ever come near my son again,

303
00:14:40,664 --> 00:14:43,401
I will sue you
and everyone in this building.

304
00:14:44,585 --> 00:14:45,666
Come on, honey.

305
00:14:48,376 --> 00:14:50,576
Let them think they've lost us.
Then...

306
00:14:51,219 --> 00:14:53,116
- Where you going?
- I got to tell my boss

307
00:14:53,241 --> 00:14:55,256
why I illegally detained a teenager.

308
00:14:56,185 --> 00:14:58,533
I shouldn't have gotten involved
with this. It's just...

309
00:14:59,194 --> 00:15:00,639
Just bad police work.

310
00:15:01,791 --> 00:15:03,841
It was bad F.B.I. work too.

311
00:15:04,664 --> 00:15:05,632
My bad.

312
00:15:13,517 --> 00:15:16,850
Tonight the "t" in T-pain
stands for "Tom Haverford"!

313
00:15:17,521 --> 00:15:18,978
Nurses versus doctors.

314
00:15:19,201 --> 00:15:20,251
On my Mark.

315
00:15:20,546 --> 00:15:21,356
Three,

316
00:15:21,932 --> 00:15:22,701
two,

317
00:15:23,211 --> 00:15:23,943
one,

318
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:25,237
Vodka!

319
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:31,812
Son.

320
00:15:32,077 --> 00:15:33,743
That is one hell of a costume.

321
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,138
Damn, that's good.

322
00:15:38,018 --> 00:15:39,068
Nice party.

323
00:15:41,456 --> 00:15:42,919
Why would anyone do this?

324
00:15:43,672 --> 00:15:44,850
Kids are kids.

325
00:15:44,975 --> 00:15:47,632
Everybody does stupid stuff
like this in high school.

326
00:15:47,843 --> 00:15:48,717
I didn't.

327
00:15:48,842 --> 00:15:50,469
But you were probably a nerd?

328
00:15:51,737 --> 00:15:53,097
I mean that in a good way.

329
00:15:53,712 --> 00:15:56,224
Look at you.
You're the coolest person I've ever met.

330
00:15:57,310 --> 00:15:58,894
I even met John Mellencamp.

331
00:15:59,988 --> 00:16:02,372
Why don't you go home?
I'll finish cleaning this up.

332
00:16:02,497 --> 00:16:03,231
No way.

333
00:16:03,631 --> 00:16:06,094
You got me a job.
You're helping me turn my life around.

334
00:16:06,219 --> 00:16:07,528
I go home when you go home.

335
00:16:09,530 --> 00:16:10,989
It's city planning.

336
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:14,209
It's mostly regulating things
and just making sure

337
00:16:14,334 --> 00:16:15,827
people obey the city code.

338
00:16:15,996 --> 00:16:18,162
You want to get out of here?
Go back to my place?

339
00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:19,895
What?

340
00:16:21,210 --> 00:16:22,460
I'm dating Ann.

341
00:16:23,139 --> 00:16:25,546
Good. That was a test.
You passed.

342
00:16:25,714 --> 00:16:29,019
Let's celebrate you passing the test,
over a drink at my place.

343
00:16:29,848 --> 00:16:31,218
No. Still no.

344
00:16:31,707 --> 00:16:33,323
You passed a second test.

345
00:16:33,685 --> 00:16:35,635
But we're still watching you.

346
00:16:40,634 --> 00:16:43,730
So you want to get out of here,
go back to my place?

347
00:16:51,766 --> 00:16:54,196
You and Tom really
turned the party around.

348
00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:56,994
We have a good time together.

349
00:16:57,923 --> 00:16:59,300
Tom told me

350
00:16:59,789 --> 00:17:02,389
that you know
about our green card marriage,

351
00:17:02,514 --> 00:17:04,167
and I just want to say thank you

352
00:17:05,289 --> 00:17:07,074
for not telling anyone.

353
00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:09,652
No worries.

354
00:17:09,902 --> 00:17:12,227
I'd hate for you
to have to go back to Canada.

355
00:17:15,256 --> 00:17:18,557
All that socialized medicine
up there.

356
00:17:19,198 --> 00:17:20,821
Wendylicious, where you been?

357
00:17:20,946 --> 00:17:23,146
I was just thanking Ron for,

358
00:17:23,271 --> 00:17:24,730
not telling anyone.

359
00:17:26,176 --> 00:17:27,371
That was cool of you.

360
00:17:27,496 --> 00:17:29,526
You won't have to keep it
a secret much longer

361
00:17:29,694 --> 00:17:32,676
because in a few months we can split up
without raising any eyebrows.

362
00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:35,451
And we'll invite you
to the divorce party.

363
00:17:37,638 --> 00:17:39,692
Maybe Greg is innocent.

364
00:17:40,239 --> 00:17:43,164
If that's the case, there's another kid
out there who's tormenting me.

365
00:17:43,610 --> 00:17:44,474
Maybe.

366
00:17:45,093 --> 00:17:48,245
I believe that you're innocent
until proven guilty in this country.

367
00:17:48,713 --> 00:17:50,546
That's the cornerstone of democracy.

368
00:17:50,758 --> 00:17:51,590
Sure.

369
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,330
On the other hand,
Greg Pikitis is a little punk.

370
00:17:56,513 --> 00:17:57,887
I want to TP his house.

371
00:17:58,098 --> 00:17:59,198
Let's do it.

372
00:18:01,892 --> 00:18:04,185
Wait, this is fun, what do I do?

373
00:18:05,646 --> 00:18:08,314
You just grab the toilet paper,
unroll it a little bit,

374
00:18:08,483 --> 00:18:09,732
throw it over the tree.

375
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:13,528
This is for mayor Percy,
this is for the Parks Department Office,

376
00:18:13,697 --> 00:18:15,696
this is for pooping
on the handball court!

377
00:18:20,559 --> 00:18:22,788
This is really fun,
but I don't condone it!

378
00:18:26,918 --> 00:18:29,390
Bye, guys.
You're the man, Swanson.

379
00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:31,145
Thanks for coming.

380
00:18:33,591 --> 00:18:36,260
Thank you so much.
I don't even know what to say.

381
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:38,428
- Don't mention it.
- Also, Tom,

382
00:18:38,596 --> 00:18:40,530
your wife is super cool.

383
00:18:40,655 --> 00:18:41,848
So well done.

384
00:18:42,059 --> 00:18:43,313
She's pretty great.

385
00:18:43,438 --> 00:18:45,414
I don't know
how you landed that chick,

386
00:18:45,539 --> 00:18:47,228
but she's awesome.
Nice work.

387
00:18:47,439 --> 00:18:49,241
- You're lucky.
- You ready to go?

388
00:18:50,233 --> 00:18:52,231
Thank you so much.
We had so much fun.

389
00:18:53,111 --> 00:18:55,658
About to head home
and have crazy sex.

390
00:18:55,783 --> 00:18:57,154
That's cool. I don't...

391
00:19:01,595 --> 00:19:02,804
Five-0!

392
00:19:05,596 --> 00:19:06,915
I see you in there, Andy.

393
00:19:09,459 --> 00:19:10,645
What are you doing?

394
00:19:13,996 --> 00:19:15,840
That's them, officer.
Right there.

395
00:19:16,051 --> 00:19:16,917
My God.

396
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,176
I'm so sorry.
We have the wrong house.

397
00:19:20,301 --> 00:19:21,939
Why are you doing this?

398
00:19:22,064 --> 00:19:24,261
It's hard to explain,
but we were getting revenge

399
00:19:24,386 --> 00:19:26,269
on this kid,
and we thought this was his house,

400
00:19:26,394 --> 00:19:28,811
- but I guess we got the address wrong.
- I'm Greg's mom.

401
00:19:29,991 --> 00:19:30,884
You are?

402
00:19:33,334 --> 00:19:35,944
Did he hire a fake mom again
to get him out of trouble?

403
00:19:36,416 --> 00:19:37,181
What?

404
00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:39,575
Whenever he gets in trouble
he goes on craigslist

405
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:41,532
and hires a woman to play his mother

406
00:19:41,701 --> 00:19:42,780
and bail him out.

407
00:19:42,905 --> 00:19:44,402
That little s-o-b.

408
00:19:47,711 --> 00:19:48,646
I knew it!

409
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,166
My God.

410
00:19:51,723 --> 00:19:53,295
That kid is amazing.

411
00:19:55,006 --> 00:19:56,214
He's not in his room.

412
00:19:56,633 --> 00:19:58,190
I don't know where he is.

413
00:19:59,082 --> 00:19:59,925
I do.

414
00:20:00,094 --> 00:20:01,376
Make sure you get that.

415
00:20:05,558 --> 00:20:07,267
Let them go!
Stay on the leader!

416
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:13,260
I am gonna wring your neck!

417
00:20:13,692 --> 00:20:16,108
How did you get into
the Parks Department? I have to know.

418
00:20:16,277 --> 00:20:18,088
Maybe the F.B.I. can figure it out.

419
00:20:18,679 --> 00:20:20,655
I'm not even in the F.B.I., stupid.

420
00:20:22,082 --> 00:20:24,867
- You're amazing.
- You're going to jail for a long time.

421
00:20:25,036 --> 00:20:27,287
He's not gonna go to jail,
he's a minor.

422
00:20:27,455 --> 00:20:28,920
We'll let the jury decide.

423
00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:32,500
- It's not gonna be a jury, it's his...
- The judge will decide where he goes.

424
00:20:32,711 --> 00:20:35,640
- He's gonna do probation, he's a minor.
- Just let me have this.

425
00:20:37,382 --> 00:20:38,465
Nice work, Knope.

426
00:20:38,633 --> 00:20:39,841
That is amazing.

427
00:20:40,676 --> 00:20:43,677
But the thing that's driving me nuts is,
how did he do it?

428
00:20:43,846 --> 00:20:45,315
Halloween Day.
3:45pm

429
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,615
If you destroy him early,
please come by.

430
00:20:47,740 --> 00:20:48,740
I will.

431
00:20:49,435 --> 00:20:51,724
How is someone gonna be able
to get through that door?

432
00:20:51,849 --> 00:20:53,647
What the...
Are you kidding me?

433
00:20:53,815 --> 00:20:56,191
We were here all th afternoon.
How did he get in?

434
00:20:57,819 --> 00:20:59,528
We always lock the doors

435
00:20:59,696 --> 00:21:00,821
when we leave.

436
00:21:01,406 --> 00:21:03,108
And Dave and I tailed Pikitis

437
00:21:03,233 --> 00:21:05,835
from the moment
he left his house at 7:00 p.m.

438
00:21:06,202 --> 00:21:07,909
to the moment we came back here.

439
00:21:08,957 --> 00:21:10,413
Does he have a look-alike?

440
00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:13,124
Did he have an accomplice?
Did he have help?

441
00:21:17,827 --> 00:21:19,507
How did that little turd do it?

442
00:21:20,305 --> 00:21:21,972
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