1 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:05,980 "Thank you, Old Gus, 2 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:05,980 for brightening our lives, 3 00:00:06,050 --> 00:00:08,790 "our hearts, 4 00:00:06,050 --> 00:00:08,790 and most importantly, 5 00:00:06,050 --> 00:00:08,790 our shoes." 6 00:00:11,030 --> 00:00:13,790 This truly is a day 7 00:00:11,030 --> 00:00:13,790 of mixed emotions for me. 8 00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:16,360 I'm sad that Old Gus 9 00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:16,360 is leaving, 10 00:00:16,430 --> 00:00:19,200 but it allows me to help 11 00:00:16,430 --> 00:00:19,200 Andy restart his life 12 00:00:19,270 --> 00:00:21,530 as Pioneer Hall's 13 00:00:19,270 --> 00:00:21,530 new shoeshine guy. 14 00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:26,340 Well, I've been listening 15 00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:26,340 to your boring speeches 16 00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:26,340 for the last 50 years, 17 00:00:26,410 --> 00:00:28,470 and now it's time 18 00:00:26,410 --> 00:00:28,470 for you to 19 00:00:26,410 --> 00:00:28,470 listen to one of mine. 20 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,610 You know, a day like this 21 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,610 makes a man 22 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,610 reflect upon his life, 23 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:38,020 and I've come 24 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:38,020 to the conclusion that 25 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:38,020 I've completely wasted mine. 26 00:00:39,390 --> 00:00:43,880 And just for the record, 27 00:00:39,390 --> 00:00:43,880 I never ever liked 28 00:00:39,390 --> 00:00:43,880 being called "Old Gus." 29 00:00:44,490 --> 00:00:48,020 I didn't understand it 30 00:00:44,490 --> 00:00:48,020 when I was in my 20s, 31 00:00:44,490 --> 00:00:48,020 and I sure hate it now. 32 00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:50,690 So go to hell, 33 00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:50,690 every single one of you. 34 00:00:50,770 --> 00:00:53,760 Screw Pawnee, 35 00:00:50,770 --> 00:00:53,760 and screw your damn shoes. 36 00:00:56,670 --> 00:00:58,900 Oh, God. 37 00:00:56,670 --> 00:00:58,900 That's classic. 38 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,190 So, I propose that we 39 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,190 change our name from 40 00:01:23,260 --> 00:01:25,290 the Sub-committee 41 00:01:23,260 --> 00:01:25,290 for Pit Beautification 42 00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:28,430 to the Sub-committee 43 00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:28,430 for Lot Beautification. 44 00:01:28,670 --> 00:01:30,800 April, stop that. 45 00:01:28,670 --> 00:01:30,800 Who are you texting? 46 00:01:30,870 --> 00:01:31,930 You. 47 00:01:32,010 --> 00:01:33,000 Aw. 48 00:01:33,210 --> 00:01:34,870 She's texting me. 49 00:01:37,410 --> 00:01:39,240 I'm sorry you're bored. 50 00:01:41,180 --> 00:01:42,810 Uh, hey, everyone. 51 00:01:41,180 --> 00:01:42,810 Oh, hey, Ann. 52 00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:44,810 Leslie, can I talk 53 00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:44,810 to you for a minute? 54 00:01:44,890 --> 00:01:46,980 Fine. Tom, you're in charge. 55 00:01:47,050 --> 00:01:49,320 Keep the momentum going. 56 00:01:47,050 --> 00:01:49,320 Keep these minds working. 57 00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:51,720 Absolutely, chief. Okay. 58 00:01:51,790 --> 00:01:54,320 Would you rather 59 00:01:51,790 --> 00:01:54,320 be able to fly, 60 00:01:51,790 --> 00:01:54,320 or speak fluent French? 61 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,160 Donna, go. 62 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,160 French. 63 00:01:56,530 --> 00:01:57,930 I don't wanna freak you out, 64 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,800 but another department 65 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,800 filed a planning claim 66 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,800 for Lot 48. 67 00:02:01,940 --> 00:02:03,400 Who? 68 00:02:04,410 --> 00:02:06,400 No. 69 00:02:04,410 --> 00:02:06,400 Yeah. 70 00:02:06,470 --> 00:02:09,340 Damn it. The library? 71 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,800 Pawnee's 72 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,800 library department 73 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,800 is the most diabolical, 74 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,970 ruthless bunch 75 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,970 of bureaucrats 76 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,970 I've ever seen. 77 00:02:15,050 --> 00:02:16,950 They're like a biker gang, 78 00:02:17,020 --> 00:02:22,980 but instead of shotguns 79 00:02:17,020 --> 00:02:22,980 and crystal meth, they use 80 00:02:17,020 --> 00:02:22,980 political savvy and shushing. 81 00:02:24,090 --> 00:02:26,620 It's gonna be okay. 82 00:02:24,090 --> 00:02:26,620 It's not a done deal. 83 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:30,200 Yeah, you're right. 84 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:30,200 Thanks for pulling me 85 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:30,200 out of there. 86 00:02:30,630 --> 00:02:33,760 I need a good plan, though. 87 00:02:30,630 --> 00:02:33,760 You know, 88 00:02:30,630 --> 00:02:33,760 I don't wanna cause a panic. 89 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:37,000 Newsflash, we're screwed. 90 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:37,000 We got a big 91 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:37,000 problem with the library. 92 00:02:37,070 --> 00:02:38,730 Punk-ass book jockeys. 93 00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:40,670 Wait. Why do we 94 00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:40,670 hate the library? 95 00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:43,300 The library is the worst 96 00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:43,300 group of people ever 97 00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:43,300 assembled in history. 98 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:46,250 They're mean, 99 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:46,250 conniving, rude, 100 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:46,250 and extremely well read, 101 00:02:46,310 --> 00:02:47,610 which makes them 102 00:02:46,310 --> 00:02:47,610 very dangerous. 103 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,380 And they're trying to steal 104 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,380 Lot 48 for a new branch. 105 00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:52,180 What? 106 00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:52,180 Get out of here. 107 00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:54,120 Yeah. Yeah. 108 00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:54,120 On 48? 109 00:02:54,190 --> 00:02:57,280 I actually think 110 00:02:54,190 --> 00:02:57,280 a library would be nice 111 00:02:54,190 --> 00:02:57,280 that close to my house. 112 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,220 Let's bring the library down. 113 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,220 Yeah. 114 00:02:59,290 --> 00:03:01,290 But I'm not about 115 00:02:59,290 --> 00:03:01,290 to say that in there. 116 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:02,560 A new branch? 117 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:02,560 Jerks. 118 00:03:02,630 --> 00:03:04,620 You're kidding. 119 00:03:02,630 --> 00:03:04,620 Oh, I hate them. 120 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,190 Okay. We need to make 121 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,190 contact with someone there. 122 00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:11,000 Does anybody know anybody 123 00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:11,000 that works at the library? 124 00:03:11,070 --> 00:03:13,300 Well, we actually 125 00:03:11,070 --> 00:03:13,300 kind of do. 126 00:03:14,010 --> 00:03:17,640 The new Deputy Director 127 00:03:14,010 --> 00:03:17,640 of the department 128 00:03:14,010 --> 00:03:17,640 is Tammy Swanson. 129 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,640 Ron's ex-wife? 130 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,640 That's terrific. 131 00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:24,450 Or is that awful? 132 00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:24,450 I mean, he hates her, 133 00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:24,450 but he knows her. 134 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,850 Everything's okay. 135 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,850 Or is it just the same? 136 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,790 Leslie, you're thinking 137 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,790 out loud again. 138 00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,380 Am I? I am. 139 00:03:30,930 --> 00:03:35,120 Of course. That bitch 140 00:03:30,930 --> 00:03:35,120 of an ex-wife is working 141 00:03:30,930 --> 00:03:35,120 for the library now. 142 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,430 That is perfect. 143 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:40,590 The worst person in the world 144 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:40,590 working at the worst 145 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:40,590 place in the world. 146 00:03:40,670 --> 00:03:43,370 I have to go talk to her. 147 00:03:40,670 --> 00:03:43,370 And you got to give me 148 00:03:40,670 --> 00:03:43,370 something I can use. 149 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,070 Does she have any weaknesses? 150 00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:46,270 No. 151 00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:48,330 What do you mean, no? 152 00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:48,330 Everybody has a weakness. 153 00:03:48,410 --> 00:03:49,780 Not machines. 154 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,870 I honestly believe 155 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,870 that she was programmed 156 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,870 by someone from the future 157 00:03:52,950 --> 00:03:55,470 to come back and destroy 158 00:03:52,950 --> 00:03:55,470 all happiness. 159 00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:58,820 I see. I knew that 160 00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:58,820 you had two ex-wives 161 00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:58,820 named Tammy, 162 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,450 so I was hoping that 163 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,450 there was one that 164 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,450 you got along with and... 165 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:03,460 Nope. I hate them both. 166 00:04:03,890 --> 00:04:08,760 On my deathbed, my final 167 00:04:03,890 --> 00:04:08,760 wish is to have my ex-wives 168 00:04:03,890 --> 00:04:08,760 rushed to my side, 169 00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:13,600 so I can use my dying breath 170 00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:13,600 to tell them both 171 00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:13,600 to go to hell one last time. 172 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,190 Would I get married again? 173 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,190 Oh, absolutely. 174 00:04:16,270 --> 00:04:19,100 If you don't believe in love, 175 00:04:16,270 --> 00:04:19,100 what's the point of living? 176 00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:23,270 I'm just looking 177 00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:23,270 forward to a thoughtful 178 00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:23,270 debate with Tammy 179 00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:26,640 about the relative merits 180 00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:26,640 of parks versus libraries. 181 00:04:27,110 --> 00:04:31,050 And in case 182 00:04:27,110 --> 00:04:31,050 something bad goes down, 183 00:04:27,110 --> 00:04:31,050 I wore my sharpest rings. 184 00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:32,580 This one will tear you up. 185 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,350 Hello? Hi. 186 00:04:38,430 --> 00:04:40,190 I'm Leslie Knope. 187 00:04:38,430 --> 00:04:40,190 I called 188 00:04:38,430 --> 00:04:40,190 a little while ago. 189 00:04:41,460 --> 00:04:43,950 You have a lot of nerve 190 00:04:41,460 --> 00:04:43,950 showing your face here. 191 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:45,560 Excuse me? 192 00:04:45,630 --> 00:04:49,000 You have overdue book 193 00:04:45,630 --> 00:04:49,000 fees totaling $3, missy. 194 00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:53,310 That is so typical. 195 00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:53,310 I should have known 196 00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:53,310 you'd use a low blow, 197 00:04:53,370 --> 00:04:55,280 dirty pool BS move like that. 198 00:04:53,370 --> 00:04:55,280 No... 199 00:04:55,340 --> 00:04:56,780 That's why everybody 200 00:04:55,340 --> 00:04:56,780 hates the library. 201 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,210 Here. You know what? 202 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,210 Here's your $3. 203 00:04:58,280 --> 00:04:59,650 Leslie, no... 204 00:04:58,280 --> 00:04:59,650 And I'll see you in hell. 205 00:04:59,710 --> 00:05:02,150 Leslie, Leslie, Leslie. 206 00:04:59,710 --> 00:05:02,150 I'm just kidding. 207 00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:06,650 My gosh, I mean, you did 208 00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:06,650 have $3 worth of fines, 209 00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:06,650 but I cleared them. 210 00:05:07,190 --> 00:05:10,350 We government gals 211 00:05:07,190 --> 00:05:10,350 have to watch each 212 00:05:07,190 --> 00:05:10,350 other's backs, right? 213 00:05:10,990 --> 00:05:13,520 I know this is a trap. 214 00:05:10,990 --> 00:05:13,520 But I don't know how. 215 00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:16,000 Okay. Did you talk to Ron? 216 00:05:17,430 --> 00:05:21,130 Ron tends to exaggerate 217 00:05:17,430 --> 00:05:21,130 when it comes to me. 218 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,730 I swear I don't 219 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,730 have cloven feet. 220 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,430 Please. Sit down. 221 00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:29,670 Shine, shine, 222 00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:29,670 shine your shoes. 223 00:05:29,740 --> 00:05:34,270 What do you say, sir? 224 00:05:29,740 --> 00:05:34,270 Ma'am? Shoeshine? 225 00:05:29,740 --> 00:05:34,270 I won't look up your skirt. 226 00:05:34,350 --> 00:05:37,280 Ann. Whoa. Oh, my gosh. 227 00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:39,220 Crazy. What are you doing? 228 00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:39,220 It's me. It's Andy. 229 00:05:39,290 --> 00:05:40,280 Hi, Andy. 230 00:05:40,350 --> 00:05:41,850 So, Ann, how you been? 231 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,620 Good. Yeah, Leslie told me 232 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,620 you were working here now. 233 00:05:44,690 --> 00:05:46,820 Yeah, I just 234 00:05:44,690 --> 00:05:46,820 joined the rat race. 235 00:05:44,690 --> 00:05:46,820 Chasing the cheese. 236 00:05:46,890 --> 00:05:49,260 Racing the rats, 237 00:05:46,890 --> 00:05:49,260 trying to get the cheese. 238 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,200 Enough technical 239 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,200 business talk. 240 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,200 You look ravishing. 241 00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:53,560 Not a lot of customers, huh? 242 00:05:53,630 --> 00:05:54,760 Yeah, business 243 00:05:53,630 --> 00:05:54,760 is a little slow. 244 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:58,400 It is definitely 245 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:58,400 due to the economy. 246 00:05:59,870 --> 00:06:03,640 I've been hearing 247 00:05:59,870 --> 00:06:03,640 a lot of people say that 248 00:05:59,870 --> 00:06:03,640 a lot about a lot of stuff. 249 00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:08,010 Whoa, Mark. You want 250 00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:08,010 those shoes shined? 251 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:09,850 I'll give you a discount 252 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:09,850 because you're a friend 253 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:09,850 of Ann's. 254 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,250 Well, I'm more than 255 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,250 a friend of Ann's. 256 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,690 Not for long. 257 00:06:13,750 --> 00:06:14,810 Sorry? 258 00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:18,120 I don't know. 259 00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:18,120 At least he finally 260 00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:18,120 has a real job. 261 00:06:18,190 --> 00:06:19,890 When we were dating, 262 00:06:18,190 --> 00:06:19,890 the only job he had 263 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,900 was sending audition tapes 264 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,900 to Survivor 265 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,900 and Deal or No Deal. 266 00:06:23,430 --> 00:06:24,960 Hi, my name is Andy Dwyer, 267 00:06:25,030 --> 00:06:28,400 and I would be 268 00:06:25,030 --> 00:06:28,400 a perfect contestant 269 00:06:25,030 --> 00:06:28,400 for Deal or No Deal. 270 00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:33,070 I want it to be 271 00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:33,070 a perfect park 272 00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:34,970 with a state-of-the-art 273 00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:34,970 swing set, 274 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,310 and basketball courts, 275 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,310 and off to the side, 276 00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:40,970 a lovely sitting area 277 00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:40,970 for kids with asthma 278 00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:40,970 to watch other kids play. 279 00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:44,310 Wow. If I'd had a park 280 00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:44,310 like that 281 00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:44,310 when I was growing up, 282 00:06:44,390 --> 00:06:47,840 I probably wouldn't have 283 00:06:44,390 --> 00:06:47,840 gone through such a prolonged 284 00:06:44,390 --> 00:06:47,840 mall-slut phase. 285 00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:51,820 Well, that's 286 00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:51,820 the goal, Tammy. 287 00:06:51,890 --> 00:06:54,330 Listen, you guys 288 00:06:51,890 --> 00:06:54,330 got there first. 289 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,420 I'm gonna withdraw 290 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,420 my request for the lot, 291 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,970 as a professional 292 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,970 courtesy to you. 293 00:06:59,030 --> 00:07:00,930 Government gals, right? 294 00:07:01,570 --> 00:07:03,370 Government gals. 295 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:07,040 So you talked to Tammy? 296 00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:10,270 What's it like to stare into 297 00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:10,270 the eye of Satan's butthole? 298 00:07:10,340 --> 00:07:12,710 She's changed, Ron. 299 00:07:10,340 --> 00:07:12,710 She's a different person. 300 00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:15,680 I think it would be 301 00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:15,680 healthy for you to get 302 00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:15,680 a sense of closure. 303 00:07:15,750 --> 00:07:17,280 Look at Mark and me. 304 00:07:15,750 --> 00:07:17,280 We slept together. 305 00:07:17,350 --> 00:07:19,510 We talked about it, 306 00:07:17,350 --> 00:07:19,510 we're still friends. 307 00:07:19,590 --> 00:07:21,180 You slept with Brendanawicz? 308 00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:23,290 No. 309 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,790 Look, Tammy and I don't work. 310 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,790 We are oil and water. 311 00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:31,770 Or oil, and TNT, and C-4, 312 00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:31,770 and a detonator, 313 00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:31,770 and a butane torch. 314 00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:34,290 Nothing good will come... 315 00:07:35,170 --> 00:07:36,260 Wait. 316 00:07:40,370 --> 00:07:41,840 She's here, isn't she? 317 00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:48,810 Hi, Ron. 318 00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:53,120 Tammy. 319 00:07:54,490 --> 00:07:55,890 Good. Good start. 320 00:07:57,790 --> 00:08:00,660 I'm sorry about this, 321 00:07:57,790 --> 00:08:00,660 but I just really 322 00:07:57,790 --> 00:08:00,660 wanna talk to you. 323 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,460 Couldn't we go 324 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,460 have a cup of coffee? 325 00:08:06,270 --> 00:08:07,830 Let's get this over with. 326 00:08:09,340 --> 00:08:11,900 Thanks, Ron. It means a lot. 327 00:08:12,210 --> 00:08:13,330 You're a miracle worker. 328 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:14,400 Oh. 329 00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,600 Do you know 330 00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,600 what you just did? 331 00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,600 Yes, Donna. 332 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,010 I got two people 333 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,010 to put aside years 334 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,010 of hostility 335 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,110 and open a door 336 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,110 to the possibility 337 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,110 of friendship. 338 00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:25,620 You were not here 339 00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:25,620 when Ron and Tammy 340 00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:25,620 got divorced. I was. 341 00:08:25,690 --> 00:08:27,380 Those two are crazy. 342 00:08:27,450 --> 00:08:30,550 Yeah. And you just opened 343 00:08:27,450 --> 00:08:30,550 the gates to Crazytown. 344 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:35,220 Frankly, I think Ron 345 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:35,220 was acting like a baby, 346 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:35,220 a little bit. 347 00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:38,390 I mean, what is he afraid of? 348 00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:38,390 Tammy's just a woman. 349 00:08:38,470 --> 00:08:41,990 A nice woman. 350 00:08:38,470 --> 00:08:41,990 You know, 351 00:08:38,470 --> 00:08:41,990 she's not a murderer. 352 00:08:42,170 --> 00:08:43,970 She's not a dragon. 353 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,940 It's really good 354 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,940 to see you, Ron. 355 00:08:47,210 --> 00:08:49,040 You've aged horribly. 356 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,480 You son of a bitch. 357 00:08:52,550 --> 00:08:54,240 That didn't take long. 358 00:08:52,550 --> 00:08:54,240 Oh, my God. 359 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,380 What is your problem? 360 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,380 Nothing's changed, has it? 361 00:08:57,450 --> 00:08:59,080 Who set the bed on fire, huh? 362 00:08:57,450 --> 00:08:59,080 Excuse me, folks. 363 00:08:59,150 --> 00:09:00,990 I did. Okay? 364 00:08:59,150 --> 00:09:00,990 Is that what you wanna hear? 365 00:09:01,060 --> 00:09:02,250 Please, folks. 366 00:09:01,060 --> 00:09:02,250 We're fine. We're fine. 367 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:03,520 Okay. I'm so sorry. 368 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:03,520 Please. 369 00:09:03,590 --> 00:09:04,990 Fine. Take it easy. 370 00:09:03,590 --> 00:09:04,990 Oh, my God. 371 00:09:05,890 --> 00:09:08,190 When you meddle 372 00:09:05,890 --> 00:09:08,190 in someone's personal life, 373 00:09:08,260 --> 00:09:10,960 it's just so rewarding. 374 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,900 Oh, God, yes. Oh, God. 375 00:09:17,970 --> 00:09:19,440 Oh, wow. 376 00:09:17,970 --> 00:09:19,440 Yeah. 377 00:09:19,510 --> 00:09:20,570 Sir. Ma'am. 378 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:21,630 Oh, God. 379 00:09:22,010 --> 00:09:23,840 Oh, yes. 380 00:09:22,010 --> 00:09:23,840 Baby. Gun it. 381 00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:25,880 The usual place. 382 00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:44,530 Have Gun Will Travel 383 00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:44,530 reads the card of a man 384 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:48,430 A knight without 385 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:48,430 armor in a savage land 386 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,130 Good morning, Jerry. 387 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,130 That is a beautiful 388 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,130 sweater vest. 389 00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:55,770 April. You look like 390 00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:55,770 you could use $20. 391 00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:55,770 Am I right? 392 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:56,870 Why? 393 00:09:56,940 --> 00:09:59,410 'Cause you're a kid, 394 00:09:56,940 --> 00:09:59,410 and kids always need money. 395 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:00,540 I need money. 396 00:10:00,610 --> 00:10:02,580 Ha! That's why 397 00:10:00,610 --> 00:10:02,580 you're my favorite, Tom. 398 00:10:02,650 --> 00:10:04,240 When Tiger Woods 399 00:10:02,650 --> 00:10:04,240 feels invincible, 400 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,290 he wears a red shirt 401 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,290 and black pants. 402 00:10:06,350 --> 00:10:07,650 Good morning, Deputy. 403 00:10:07,990 --> 00:10:10,050 Ron wears the same thing 404 00:10:07,990 --> 00:10:10,050 after he's had sex. 405 00:10:10,460 --> 00:10:12,050 I'm a simple man. 406 00:10:12,130 --> 00:10:14,690 I like pretty, 407 00:10:12,130 --> 00:10:14,690 dark-haired women 408 00:10:12,130 --> 00:10:14,690 and breakfast food. 409 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:18,600 But this stock photo 410 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:18,600 I bought at a framing store 411 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:18,600 isn't real. 412 00:10:18,670 --> 00:10:20,430 Today, I got 413 00:10:18,670 --> 00:10:20,430 the real thing. 414 00:10:20,940 --> 00:10:24,240 A naked Tammy made me 415 00:10:20,940 --> 00:10:24,240 breakfast this morning. 416 00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:27,430 I should have 417 00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:27,430 taken a picture of it. 418 00:10:28,310 --> 00:10:30,040 Hey, Tom. 419 00:10:28,310 --> 00:10:30,040 What's up? 420 00:10:30,110 --> 00:10:33,100 My girlfriend's ex is working 421 00:10:30,110 --> 00:10:33,100 100 feet away from my desk, 422 00:10:33,180 --> 00:10:35,450 and he's been pretty clear 423 00:10:33,180 --> 00:10:35,450 about wanting her back. 424 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,210 What do I do with that? 425 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:38,810 Mmm. That's a tough one. 426 00:10:38,890 --> 00:10:40,910 You should break up 427 00:10:38,890 --> 00:10:40,910 with her, and tell her 428 00:10:38,890 --> 00:10:40,910 to go out with me. 429 00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:42,550 That's good. 430 00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:42,550 Can I ask you 431 00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:42,550 another question? 432 00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:45,150 Why did I come 433 00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:45,150 to you for advice? 434 00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:47,850 Okay. I think you should 435 00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:47,850 play this one cool, man. 436 00:10:47,930 --> 00:10:49,290 Be the grown-up. 437 00:10:47,930 --> 00:10:49,290 Take the high road. 438 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,390 Yeah. 439 00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:51,800 Ann's a classy chick. 440 00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:54,800 If you get down in the mud, 441 00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:54,800 you're just gonna 442 00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:54,800 lose her respect. 443 00:10:55,670 --> 00:10:59,270 You've just made 444 00:10:55,670 --> 00:10:59,270 a surprising amount 445 00:10:55,670 --> 00:10:59,270 of sense, Tom. Thank you. 446 00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:02,800 I've never taken 447 00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:02,800 the high road. 448 00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:02,800 But I tell other people to. 449 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:06,240 'Cause then there's more 450 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:06,240 room for me on the low road. 451 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,750 So, how did your 452 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,750 coffee with Tammy go? 453 00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:13,290 Leslie, I can't 454 00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:13,290 thank you enough 455 00:11:13,350 --> 00:11:15,190 for sticking your nose 456 00:11:13,350 --> 00:11:15,190 where it didn't belong. 457 00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:18,520 I knew it. So what 458 00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:18,520 did you guys talk about? 459 00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:18,520 Old times? 460 00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:21,530 Oh, I love talking 461 00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:21,530 about old times. 462 00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:21,530 New times are great, too, 463 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,760 but there's just 464 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,760 something about old times, 465 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,760 you know what I mean? 466 00:11:23,830 --> 00:11:26,200 We didn't talk. 467 00:11:23,830 --> 00:11:26,200 We made love. 468 00:11:27,030 --> 00:11:29,200 Oh, my. Mmm. Good. 469 00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:31,660 Well, spare me the details. 470 00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:31,660 I'm just happy. 471 00:11:31,740 --> 00:11:33,500 It was so intense, 472 00:11:31,740 --> 00:11:33,500 I didn't know 473 00:11:33,570 --> 00:11:35,810 where my flesh 474 00:11:33,570 --> 00:11:35,810 stopped and hers began. 475 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,470 You know what I mean? 476 00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:38,670 Yeah. 477 00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:43,550 Our marriage was always 478 00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:43,550 a complete disaster, 479 00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:43,550 but we did have that. 480 00:11:44,180 --> 00:11:49,210 The two of us. It's like 481 00:11:44,180 --> 00:11:49,210 doing peyote and sneezing, 482 00:11:44,180 --> 00:11:49,210 slowly, for six hours. 483 00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:50,880 This seems like a private 484 00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:50,880 matter, but I'm so... 485 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,020 That woman really knows 486 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,020 her way around a penis. 487 00:11:55,530 --> 00:11:59,970 Okay. Well, I'm happy that 488 00:11:55,530 --> 00:11:59,970 it went well and that you 489 00:11:55,530 --> 00:11:59,970 enjoyed your coffee. 490 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:03,630 I truly believe that 491 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:03,630 everyone should be friends 492 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:03,630 with their exes. 493 00:12:04,670 --> 00:12:08,670 I can't even tell you 494 00:12:04,670 --> 00:12:08,670 how many of my exes' 495 00:12:04,670 --> 00:12:08,670 weddings I've been to. 496 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,620 They're reading 497 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,620 their old divorce papers. 498 00:12:16,980 --> 00:12:20,480 "Three fistfuls of hair." 499 00:12:16,980 --> 00:12:20,480 That's not even possible. 500 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:24,150 Well, I'm too classy to say 501 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:24,150 "I told you so," Donna. 502 00:12:24,220 --> 00:12:26,250 So I wrote it on a Post-it. 503 00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:31,060 Leslie. 504 00:12:31,770 --> 00:12:34,670 Why don't you take 505 00:12:31,770 --> 00:12:34,670 the rest of the day off? 506 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:38,740 I mean, 507 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:38,740 you spend so much time 508 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:38,740 worrying about this park, 509 00:12:38,810 --> 00:12:41,000 but really, who cares? 510 00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:44,000 I care. 511 00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:44,000 I care a lot. 512 00:12:44,550 --> 00:12:45,880 It's kind of my thing, 513 00:12:44,550 --> 00:12:45,880 remember? 514 00:12:45,950 --> 00:12:48,110 But at the end of the day, 515 00:12:45,950 --> 00:12:48,110 what does it matter 516 00:12:48,180 --> 00:12:53,380 if the lot becomes a park, 517 00:12:48,180 --> 00:12:53,380 or a museum, or a megachurch? 518 00:12:54,020 --> 00:12:55,180 Or a library. 519 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:57,380 Nobody said "library." 520 00:12:57,460 --> 00:13:00,790 Ron, have you been talking 521 00:12:57,460 --> 00:13:00,790 to Tammy about the lot? 522 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:02,350 No. 523 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,960 I swear on a grave. 524 00:13:06,530 --> 00:13:09,060 Oh, my God. 525 00:13:06,530 --> 00:13:09,060 Ron, tell me the truth. 526 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:10,900 Are you giving her the lot? 527 00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:13,270 Not giving. 528 00:13:13,970 --> 00:13:15,840 We have discussed a trade. 529 00:13:15,910 --> 00:13:17,040 For what? 530 00:13:17,110 --> 00:13:18,200 More... 531 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:19,270 Excuse me? 532 00:13:19,980 --> 00:13:21,280 More sex. 533 00:13:21,350 --> 00:13:22,440 Ugh! 534 00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:27,110 Tammy, can I speak 535 00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:27,110 with you for a second? 536 00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:30,160 I know what you're doing. 537 00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:30,160 You don't care about Ron. 538 00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:32,560 You're just using him 539 00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:32,560 to get Lot 48 540 00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:32,560 for your library. 541 00:13:32,630 --> 00:13:35,620 Leslie, that's crazy. 542 00:13:32,630 --> 00:13:35,620 And correct. 543 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:37,760 Why are you doing this? 544 00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:40,630 Les, there are two kinds 545 00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:40,630 of women in this world. 546 00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:45,400 There are women who work hard 547 00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:45,400 and stress out about 548 00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:45,400 doing the right thing. 549 00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:47,870 And then there are 550 00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:47,870 women who are cool. 551 00:13:47,940 --> 00:13:51,640 You could either be 552 00:13:47,940 --> 00:13:51,640 a Cleopatra or you could 553 00:13:47,940 --> 00:13:51,640 be an Eleanor Roosevelt. 554 00:13:52,810 --> 00:13:55,180 I'd rather 555 00:13:52,810 --> 00:13:55,180 be Cleopatra. 556 00:13:55,680 --> 00:14:00,140 What kind of lunatic 557 00:13:55,680 --> 00:14:00,140 would wanna be Cleopatra 558 00:13:55,680 --> 00:14:00,140 over Eleanor Roosevelt? 559 00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:02,450 Haven't you ever 560 00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:02,450 messed with a man's head 561 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:05,220 just to see 562 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:05,220 what you could get 563 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:05,220 him to do for you? 564 00:14:05,290 --> 00:14:07,690 We do it all the time 565 00:14:05,290 --> 00:14:07,690 in the Library Department. 566 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,590 You should come 567 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,590 join us sometime. 568 00:14:09,660 --> 00:14:12,460 I would never work 569 00:14:09,660 --> 00:14:12,460 at the Library Department. 570 00:14:12,530 --> 00:14:13,800 I'm gonna tell Ron 571 00:14:12,530 --> 00:14:13,800 what you just said, 572 00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:15,860 and this little game 573 00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:15,860 that you're playing 574 00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:15,860 is gonna be over. 575 00:14:15,940 --> 00:14:17,030 Okeydoke. 576 00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:18,600 Yeah, you better run. 577 00:14:19,210 --> 00:14:20,730 We're no longer 578 00:14:19,210 --> 00:14:20,730 government gals. 579 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,070 Look, we need to talk. 580 00:14:23,140 --> 00:14:24,910 Ron, no. 581 00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:27,240 The Planning Department 582 00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:27,240 Re-prioritization Document? 583 00:14:27,310 --> 00:14:28,710 Calm down, 584 00:14:27,310 --> 00:14:28,710 I haven't signed it yet. 585 00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:30,110 Yeah, well, 586 00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:30,110 you're going to. 587 00:14:30,180 --> 00:14:32,550 Because Tammy wants you to, 588 00:14:30,180 --> 00:14:32,550 and you do 589 00:14:30,180 --> 00:14:32,550 everything that she wants. 590 00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:35,350 She made some 591 00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:35,350 really good points 592 00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:35,350 about libraries. 593 00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:36,980 Are you even 594 00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:36,980 listening to yourself? 595 00:14:37,060 --> 00:14:38,580 You're defending 596 00:14:37,060 --> 00:14:38,580 the library now? 597 00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,530 Ron, the library? 598 00:14:40,590 --> 00:14:42,930 Of all the horrifying, 599 00:14:40,590 --> 00:14:42,930 miserable things in the world? 600 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,660 Some people like libraries. 601 00:14:44,730 --> 00:14:46,220 I can't even 602 00:14:44,730 --> 00:14:46,220 believe what I'm hearing. 603 00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:49,400 "Some people like libraries." 604 00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:49,400 Ron, she's in your head. 605 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,470 You said that she was 606 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,470 a manipulative monster, 607 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,470 and you were right. 608 00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:54,630 No. No. Tammy's changed. 609 00:14:54,710 --> 00:14:57,200 Look me in the eye 610 00:14:54,710 --> 00:14:57,200 and tell me 611 00:14:54,710 --> 00:14:57,200 that she's changed. 612 00:14:58,410 --> 00:14:59,680 Look me in the eye. 613 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,840 I'm so screwed, Knope. 614 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,890 Her hooks are in my brain. 615 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,890 Yep. 616 00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:10,020 She has all the power 617 00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:10,020 and I have nothing. 618 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:11,950 I'm so little. 619 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,170 Why don't you just 620 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,170 break up with her? 621 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:28,500 I don't think I can. 622 00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:30,610 We would just end up naked, 623 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:34,940 and I'd give her 624 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:34,940 your lot, and my house, 625 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:34,940 and God knows what else. 626 00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:36,850 I have no control 627 00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:36,850 over my actions. 628 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,720 It's like she's 629 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,720 crawled up inside of me. 630 00:15:38,790 --> 00:15:42,240 Oh, God, Ron, I don't 631 00:15:38,790 --> 00:15:42,240 wanna hear about your 632 00:15:38,790 --> 00:15:42,240 disgusting sex anymore. 633 00:15:42,590 --> 00:15:44,020 Okay? Now sack up. 634 00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:47,660 You are Ron freaking Swanson. 635 00:15:47,730 --> 00:15:49,390 Not around her, I'm not. 636 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:53,700 It took years of intense, 637 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:53,700 focused hatred 638 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:53,700 to get over her, 639 00:15:53,770 --> 00:15:56,570 and now I've undone 640 00:15:53,770 --> 00:15:56,570 all that great work. 641 00:15:57,900 --> 00:15:59,960 You've got to help 642 00:15:57,900 --> 00:15:59,960 me break up with her. 643 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,100 I don't think I should 644 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,100 get involved in this. 645 00:16:02,180 --> 00:16:04,540 Oh, now you don't 646 00:16:02,180 --> 00:16:04,540 wanna get involved? 647 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:08,210 "It's just coffee, Ron." 648 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:08,210 "She's changed, Ron." 649 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,310 "I let Mark nail me 650 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,310 and we're still friends." 651 00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:12,550 Okay. I would 652 00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:12,550 never use those words. 653 00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:14,550 I never said... 654 00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:14,550 Point taken. 655 00:16:16,490 --> 00:16:18,790 Let's go dump your ex. 656 00:16:18,860 --> 00:16:20,050 Thank you. 657 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,690 So, would you like 658 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,690 to be in the room 659 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,690 when I tell her it's over, 660 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,030 or would you 661 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,030 rather wait outside? 662 00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:28,300 In the room. 663 00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:28,300 I don't want her 664 00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:28,300 to think I'm a wimp. 665 00:16:28,370 --> 00:16:30,530 Here're the ground rules. 666 00:16:28,370 --> 00:16:30,530 Don't talk to her. 667 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,040 Do not make eye 668 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,040 contact with her. 669 00:16:32,110 --> 00:16:33,840 Don't believe 670 00:16:32,110 --> 00:16:33,840 anything she says. 671 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:37,040 Just sit there, 672 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:37,040 like a potted plant. 673 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:37,040 Can you do that? 674 00:16:38,110 --> 00:16:39,410 Come on. 675 00:16:40,150 --> 00:16:41,580 Do you have any tong... 676 00:16:40,150 --> 00:16:41,580 Mark. 677 00:16:41,650 --> 00:16:43,580 Hey. 678 00:16:41,650 --> 00:16:43,580 Hey. Donna. 679 00:16:43,650 --> 00:16:45,640 So, how's the shoeshine game? 680 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:50,950 I'm on a break, 681 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:50,950 one of the many advantages 682 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:50,950 of owning your own business. 683 00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:53,260 You know that's not 684 00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:53,260 your situation, right? 685 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:56,700 Yeah. Listen, Donna. 686 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:56,700 Yes. 687 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,760 Quick question. 688 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,760 Ann is trying to decide 689 00:16:58,830 --> 00:17:00,100 between Mark and myself. 690 00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:01,360 No, she's not, actually. 691 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:02,930 If you had to choose, 692 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:02,930 who would you choose? 693 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,130 Right now, on the spot. 694 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,500 I'm not sure. 695 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,500 Why don't you 696 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,500 spin around for me? 697 00:17:06,570 --> 00:17:08,670 You know what? 698 00:17:06,570 --> 00:17:08,670 Can we talk privately? 699 00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:10,610 Sure. 700 00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:10,610 Just out here. 701 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:14,440 Mmm. 702 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:16,140 Andy. 703 00:17:16,220 --> 00:17:18,710 So, Tammy, for that 704 00:17:16,220 --> 00:17:18,710 and many other reasons, 705 00:17:18,790 --> 00:17:21,220 Ron has decided to 706 00:17:18,790 --> 00:17:21,220 end this relationship. 707 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:30,560 Wait a minute. 708 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:30,560 Ron brought you here 709 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:30,560 to break up with me for him? 710 00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:31,860 She volunteered. 711 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,260 Leslie, Ron doesn't 712 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,260 wanna break up with me. 713 00:17:38,110 --> 00:17:42,740 What Ron wants to do 714 00:17:38,110 --> 00:17:42,740 is leave here right now, 715 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,170 go to the sleaziest 716 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,170 motel in town, 717 00:17:47,050 --> 00:17:50,420 and wrap himself around 718 00:17:47,050 --> 00:17:50,420 me like a coiled snake. 719 00:17:51,180 --> 00:17:52,170 No, he doesn't. 720 00:17:52,250 --> 00:17:53,310 I'm pretty sure he does. 721 00:17:56,260 --> 00:17:58,450 See? He's completely 722 00:17:56,260 --> 00:17:58,450 over you. 723 00:17:58,830 --> 00:18:03,820 Look, I understand 724 00:17:58,830 --> 00:18:03,820 that this Ann 725 00:17:58,830 --> 00:18:03,820 situation is awkward. 726 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:06,770 But I like you 727 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:06,770 a lot as a dude. 728 00:18:06,830 --> 00:18:08,730 And I just hope 729 00:18:06,830 --> 00:18:08,730 that there is some way 730 00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,830 that we can both be mature, 731 00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,830 and maybe be friends. 732 00:18:12,610 --> 00:18:14,230 Yeah. I doubt it. 733 00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:18,540 I mean, I think 734 00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:18,540 you're a cool dude, too. 735 00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:18,540 I like you as well. 736 00:18:18,610 --> 00:18:20,980 But I'm still 737 00:18:18,610 --> 00:18:20,980 in love with Ann. 738 00:18:21,820 --> 00:18:24,440 I couldn't have been 739 00:18:21,820 --> 00:18:24,440 more upfront about that. 740 00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:28,080 Is punching allowed 741 00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:28,080 on the high road? 742 00:18:28,860 --> 00:18:30,520 I'm sorry, Leslie. 743 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,590 She wins. 744 00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:34,790 I can't resist her. 745 00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:36,300 God, Ron, you have to. 746 00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:39,090 Stay out of this. 747 00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:39,090 This is our relationship. 748 00:18:39,170 --> 00:18:42,260 He's my man. 749 00:18:39,170 --> 00:18:42,260 And we have something 750 00:18:39,170 --> 00:18:42,260 twisted and beautiful. 751 00:18:43,370 --> 00:18:44,360 Oh. 752 00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:47,200 You want Ron. That's 753 00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:47,200 what this is all about. 754 00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:49,200 No. That's insane. 755 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,340 Fine, I had one dream. 756 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,340 But no, no. 757 00:18:53,410 --> 00:18:55,540 Baby, don't you see 758 00:18:53,410 --> 00:18:55,540 what's happening here? 759 00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:59,310 She's manipulating you 760 00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:59,310 because she's jealous of me, 761 00:18:59,390 --> 00:19:02,250 and the things I get to do 762 00:18:59,390 --> 00:19:02,250 to your body and face. 763 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,330 I'm here because 764 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,330 Ron is my friend, 765 00:19:05,390 --> 00:19:07,290 and I don't like seeing 766 00:19:05,390 --> 00:19:07,290 my friends miserable. 767 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:09,060 And you, Tammy, 768 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:09,060 you make him miserable. 769 00:19:09,130 --> 00:19:12,400 So, Ron, 770 00:19:09,130 --> 00:19:12,400 you can give her the lot, 771 00:19:09,130 --> 00:19:12,400 or don't, whatever. 772 00:19:12,470 --> 00:19:15,770 Just, please, 773 00:19:12,470 --> 00:19:15,770 find a way to be happy. 774 00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:22,200 Knope. Wait. 775 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:23,970 Ron, it's okay. 776 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:23,970 Just sign the thing. 777 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,850 No, Leslie, it's not okay. 778 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,850 You just put my needs 779 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,850 in front of your own. 780 00:19:27,910 --> 00:19:30,010 No woman has ever 781 00:19:27,910 --> 00:19:30,010 done that for me before. 782 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:31,350 I'm sure that's not true. 783 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,680 You see the kind of women 784 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,680 that I choose, right? 785 00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:35,590 Look, just wait 786 00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:35,590 for me downstairs. 787 00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:37,020 If I'm not down 788 00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:37,020 in five minutes, 789 00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:39,560 it's only because 790 00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:39,560 I'm receiving 791 00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:39,560 a pleasure so intense... 792 00:19:39,630 --> 00:19:41,030 Oh, my God. 793 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,600 What the hell 794 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,600 are you doing? 795 00:19:46,670 --> 00:19:48,830 "Andy and Ann's 796 00:19:46,670 --> 00:19:48,830 Family Shoeshine"? 797 00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:50,600 Andy, Ann, I thought it 798 00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:50,600 had a nice ring to it. 799 00:19:50,670 --> 00:19:53,270 Oh, my God. Look, 800 00:19:50,670 --> 00:19:53,270 Mark has been really 801 00:19:50,670 --> 00:19:53,270 cool about all this, 802 00:19:53,340 --> 00:19:54,900 and you're throwing it 803 00:19:53,340 --> 00:19:54,900 in his face. 804 00:19:54,980 --> 00:19:57,270 Look, I still have 805 00:19:54,980 --> 00:19:57,270 feelings for you. Okay? 806 00:19:57,340 --> 00:19:59,370 I said it. 807 00:19:57,340 --> 00:19:59,370 What do you want me to do? 808 00:19:59,450 --> 00:20:01,750 Not mention those feelings 809 00:19:59,450 --> 00:20:01,750 to your boyfriend? 810 00:20:01,820 --> 00:20:02,870 Yes. 811 00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:04,780 And you might wanna 812 00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:04,780 take these pictures down. 813 00:20:04,850 --> 00:20:07,410 Oh, my God. 814 00:20:04,850 --> 00:20:07,410 Take those pictures down. 815 00:20:07,490 --> 00:20:08,980 What? Fine. 816 00:20:09,060 --> 00:20:10,390 All of them. 817 00:20:09,060 --> 00:20:10,390 I'm gonna. 818 00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,860 Now. Oh, my God. 819 00:20:13,260 --> 00:20:14,460 Give me the bikini one. 820 00:20:14,530 --> 00:20:15,590 The teeny one? 821 00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:16,960 Bikini one. 822 00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:27,600 You didn't give her the lot. 823 00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:27,600 Let's get out of here. 824 00:20:27,670 --> 00:20:28,840 Is part of your 825 00:20:27,670 --> 00:20:28,840 mustache missing? 826 00:20:28,910 --> 00:20:30,430 Yes. Just keep walking. 827 00:20:30,510 --> 00:20:31,670 There's a pushpin 828 00:20:30,510 --> 00:20:31,670 in your face. 829 00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:32,870 Leave it in. 830 00:20:32,950 --> 00:20:33,970 Can't you walk faster? 831 00:20:34,050 --> 00:20:36,480 My legs are shorter 832 00:20:34,050 --> 00:20:36,480 than yours. 833 00:20:41,890 --> 00:20:42,880 Mmm. 834 00:20:43,420 --> 00:20:44,520 We had a good run. 835 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,430 Thank you for saving 836 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,430 my future park. 837 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,300 I know that must've 838 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,300 been hard for you. 839 00:20:53,830 --> 00:20:56,100 You didn't kill Tammy, 840 00:20:53,830 --> 00:20:56,100 did you? 841 00:20:56,170 --> 00:20:58,870 I'm afraid 842 00:20:56,170 --> 00:20:58,870 she can't be killed. 843 00:21:00,570 --> 00:21:03,980 To exes. May they 844 00:21:00,570 --> 00:21:03,980 always stay that way. 845 00:21:05,210 --> 00:21:09,210 Tammy is a mean person. 846 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,080 Come on, Ron. You can 847 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,080 do better than that. 848 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,150 She's a grade-A bitch. 849 00:21:14,220 --> 00:21:15,450 There we go. 850 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:18,460 Every time she laughs, 851 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:18,460 an angel dies. 852 00:21:18,730 --> 00:21:20,890 Even telemarketers 853 00:21:18,730 --> 00:21:20,890 avoid her. 854 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:24,260 Her birth was payback 855 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:24,260 for the sins of man. 856 00:21:24,330 --> 00:21:27,100 But you know 857 00:21:24,330 --> 00:21:27,100 the worst thing about her? 858 00:21:27,170 --> 00:21:29,070 She works for the library. 859 00:21:29,140 --> 00:21:31,300 She works for the library.