1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:07,420 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:12,659 --> 00:00:13,993 - You are getting a rare glimpse 3 00:00:14,061 --> 00:00:16,762 At this exclusive, government-only event. 4 00:00:16,830 --> 00:00:19,318 Each December, one department puts on a show 5 00:00:19,385 --> 00:00:20,786 That spoofs what happened in our town. 6 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,885 Prepare to laugh your asnov! 7 00:00:25,288 --> 00:00:28,086 Sid asnov is a former city councilman. 8 00:00:28,154 --> 00:00:30,224 Some of the jokes are sort of inside. 9 00:00:30,292 --> 00:00:31,398 Councilman dexhart, 10 00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:33,806 You're involved in yet another scandal? 11 00:00:33,873 --> 00:00:37,487 That's crazier than mayor gunderson's dog rufus. 12 00:00:40,828 --> 00:00:43,904 - Yes, there is a new one, and it's a doozy. 13 00:00:43,971 --> 00:00:45,505 I don't want to go into the details, 14 00:00:45,573 --> 00:00:48,947 But let me just say that it involves multiple women, 15 00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:54,457 A love child, nurses, rabbis, priests. 16 00:00:56,827 --> 00:00:58,061 Well, I hope you can all join me 17 00:00:58,129 --> 00:00:59,797 At my fundraiser tonight. 18 00:00:59,865 --> 00:01:01,499 I am being supported, of course, 19 00:01:01,567 --> 00:01:04,137 By the glitter factory and 1-800-mattress. 20 00:01:06,010 --> 00:01:08,446 Ha ha ha ha! Classic. 21 00:01:08,514 --> 00:01:10,549 - âÂTª pawnee is a city that ain't very pretty âÂTª 22 00:01:10,616 --> 00:01:12,720 âÂTª and good government is our goal âÂTª 23 00:01:12,788 --> 00:01:14,723 - âÂTª we may not be big and our mayor wears a wig âÂTª 24 00:01:14,791 --> 00:01:16,625 âÂTª but at least the raccoon infestation âÂTª 25 00:01:16,693 --> 00:01:17,793 âÂTª is under control âÂTª 26 00:01:17,861 --> 00:01:23,335 - âÂTª it's the most wonderful time âÂTª 27 00:01:23,403 --> 00:01:29,878 âÂTª in pawnee âÂTª 28 00:01:34,117 --> 00:01:42,157 âÂTª âÂTª 29 00:01:51,434 --> 00:01:54,404 - Lot 48 was once a horrible and disgusting pit. 30 00:01:54,472 --> 00:01:58,076 And now it's the site of pawnee's winter wonderland. 31 00:01:58,144 --> 00:02:00,445 This could not be more perfect if I had planned it myself. 32 00:02:00,513 --> 00:02:03,016 Which I did. And it's awesome. 33 00:02:03,084 --> 00:02:04,351 So let's talk schedge, guys. 34 00:02:04,419 --> 00:02:06,787 The kids are gonna come at 9:00 a.M. On Saturday, 35 00:02:06,855 --> 00:02:09,658 And everyone's gonna do santa for two hours. 36 00:02:09,725 --> 00:02:11,026 So I would just advise everyone 37 00:02:11,094 --> 00:02:12,461 Before you get in your costume 38 00:02:12,529 --> 00:02:14,797 To go to the bathroom so we can avoid what happened last year. 39 00:02:14,865 --> 00:02:16,599 It was just farts. 40 00:02:16,667 --> 00:02:18,736 - 6:00 p.M., caroling with the youth choir. 41 00:02:18,804 --> 00:02:21,306 And I am proud to announce, for the first time ever, 42 00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:23,208 This year our tree-lighting ceremony 43 00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:25,278 Will be simulcast on internet radio. 44 00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,814 Thank you. 45 00:02:27,882 --> 00:02:30,484 - That's a really big deal. - It is. Thank you. 46 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:32,619 - Listening to that tree lighting's gonna be dope! 47 00:02:32,687 --> 00:02:35,389 - Okay, any questions, direct them to me--dismissed. 48 00:02:35,457 --> 00:02:39,795 - Hey, uh, there was a message for you 49 00:02:39,863 --> 00:02:40,930 On the work voicemail. 50 00:02:40,997 --> 00:02:42,598 Councilman dexhart wants to meet with you 51 00:02:42,666 --> 00:02:45,269 At 9:00 p.M.-- The boardwalk lounge. 52 00:02:45,337 --> 00:02:46,937 - Shut up. - No. 53 00:02:47,005 --> 00:02:50,408 - I'm not scared. I got nothing to apologize for. 54 00:02:50,475 --> 00:02:52,444 I could have been a lot harder on him. 55 00:02:52,511 --> 00:02:53,445 He got off easy. 56 00:02:53,512 --> 00:02:54,913 And often. 57 00:02:56,583 --> 00:02:58,617 Thank you. I'll be here all week. 58 00:02:58,685 --> 00:03:01,620 - You gotta tell me about him. I don't know anything about him. 59 00:03:01,688 --> 00:03:03,755 - Okay, he's 23, he's kinda my boyfriend. 60 00:03:03,823 --> 00:03:05,224 He's gay. 61 00:03:05,291 --> 00:03:07,192 Last year we got drunk and he took me to the ice capades, 62 00:03:07,260 --> 00:03:08,927 And I didn't get him anything. 63 00:03:08,995 --> 00:03:10,362 And he's gay? - Yeah. 64 00:03:10,430 --> 00:03:11,730 - Brokeback mountain dvd. 65 00:03:11,799 --> 00:03:12,766 - No. - Fellas love that. 66 00:03:12,833 --> 00:03:13,867 No. 67 00:03:13,935 --> 00:03:15,201 - Does he already have, like, chaps? 68 00:03:15,269 --> 00:03:17,370 Like, assless chaps? - You know what, forget it. 69 00:03:17,438 --> 00:03:19,373 - Okay, uh, why are you asking me? 70 00:03:19,441 --> 00:03:22,644 - Because, I don't know, there's no one else to ask. 71 00:03:22,711 --> 00:03:24,179 And at least you're kind of young. 72 00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:25,381 - All right, I'll tell you what. 73 00:03:25,449 --> 00:03:27,183 I'm gonna think about it. 74 00:03:27,251 --> 00:03:28,818 Through the course of all day I'm gonna mull it over. 75 00:03:28,886 --> 00:03:30,687 It's all I'm gonna think about. But you're in good hands. 76 00:03:30,755 --> 00:03:32,323 I'm gonna come up with something really, really good. 77 00:03:32,390 --> 00:03:33,324 - Really? - Yeah. 78 00:03:33,392 --> 00:03:34,392 - All right. - You got that? 79 00:03:34,459 --> 00:03:37,862 Yeah. Thanks. 80 00:03:37,930 --> 00:03:39,998 - Councilman dexhart, I'm leslie knope. 81 00:03:40,066 --> 00:03:43,169 - Thank you for meeting me. - It's my pleasure. 82 00:03:43,237 --> 00:03:45,104 I am assuming this is about my performance 83 00:03:45,172 --> 00:03:47,474 In the government follies last night. 84 00:03:47,541 --> 00:03:50,043 I'd just like to say that I have nothing to apologize for. 85 00:03:50,111 --> 00:03:52,746 Except for perhaps being too incisive. 86 00:03:52,814 --> 00:03:55,115 - I don't want you to apologize. 87 00:03:55,183 --> 00:03:57,050 I want to know who told you. 88 00:03:57,118 --> 00:03:58,385 - Who told me? - Mm-hmm. 89 00:03:58,453 --> 00:04:02,155 - Nobody. Nobody told me nuttin'! 90 00:04:02,223 --> 00:04:03,891 What are we talking about? 91 00:04:03,958 --> 00:04:05,158 Well, based on that skit, 92 00:04:05,226 --> 00:04:06,660 I know you've heard about the new scandal 93 00:04:06,728 --> 00:04:07,761 That's about to break. 94 00:04:07,829 --> 00:04:10,497 Who told you? 95 00:04:10,565 --> 00:04:11,732 Was it the babysitter? 96 00:04:11,799 --> 00:04:13,434 Was it the nurse who delivered our love child? 97 00:04:13,501 --> 00:04:14,769 - What? - Oh, stop playing dumb. 98 00:04:14,836 --> 00:04:16,671 You know damn well what happened. 99 00:04:16,739 --> 00:04:18,506 I got the babysitter pregnant. 100 00:04:18,574 --> 00:04:20,108 Then, when she was in the delivery room, 101 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:21,943 I had sex with not one 102 00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:24,612 But four nurses in a supply closet. 103 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,481 As well as a woman whose husband 104 00:04:26,549 --> 00:04:28,783 Was getting a liver transplant. 105 00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:29,784 Hmm. 106 00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:32,720 Now, which one of them told you? 107 00:04:32,788 --> 00:04:34,021 Was it the liver lady? 108 00:04:34,089 --> 00:04:37,391 - Well, I--no one-- I haven't-- 109 00:04:37,459 --> 00:04:40,595 I haven't heard any of this ever in my whole life. 110 00:04:40,663 --> 00:04:41,763 Oh. 111 00:04:41,831 --> 00:04:43,298 - Believe me, I would have remembered this. 112 00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,967 - Okay. Well, in that case, 113 00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:49,337 Everything I just told you was just a funny prank. 114 00:04:55,143 --> 00:04:57,711 - Oh, hi. How was your meeting? 115 00:04:57,779 --> 00:04:59,780 It was fine. 116 00:04:59,848 --> 00:05:01,215 Pretty straightforward. 117 00:05:01,282 --> 00:05:03,216 Short meeting. You know, he's a busy guy. 118 00:05:03,284 --> 00:05:05,218 - Yes, very busy. Look at this article. 119 00:05:05,285 --> 00:05:07,486 No! 120 00:05:07,554 --> 00:05:12,624 What the-- 121 00:05:12,692 --> 00:05:15,994 - The story of this story is that it won't stop developing. 122 00:05:16,062 --> 00:05:18,331 The mystery woman who met with councilman dexhart last night 123 00:05:18,398 --> 00:05:22,267 Appears to be a government employee named leslie norp. 124 00:05:22,335 --> 00:05:24,069 - Oh, my god. Oh, god. 125 00:05:24,137 --> 00:05:26,572 - According to unconfirmed reports in the pawnee sun, 126 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,541 The two bent an elbow at this local watering hole. 127 00:05:29,609 --> 00:05:30,676 And although they left separately, 128 00:05:30,744 --> 00:05:33,813 No one knows where they woke up together. 129 00:05:33,881 --> 00:05:37,217 Perd hapley, channel 4 news. 130 00:05:40,595 --> 00:05:43,162 - All I did was write and perform in one amazing skit. 131 00:05:43,230 --> 00:05:44,831 - Leslie, it's the pawnee sun. 132 00:05:44,899 --> 00:05:45,832 It's a tabloid. 133 00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:47,267 Nobody else has written about it. 134 00:05:47,334 --> 00:05:48,535 - Yeah, no one believes that garbage. 135 00:05:48,602 --> 00:05:50,270 Nobody even reads that thing. 136 00:05:50,337 --> 00:05:53,005 - Leslie, what? Nice work, girl. 137 00:05:53,073 --> 00:05:54,573 Oh, god. 138 00:05:54,641 --> 00:05:56,941 How do I fight back? Give me some options. 139 00:05:57,009 --> 00:06:00,145 - Do you want me to seduce perd hapley? 140 00:06:00,212 --> 00:06:01,480 How would that help? 141 00:06:01,547 --> 00:06:03,214 I don't know. 142 00:06:03,282 --> 00:06:05,350 I just want to see if I can do it. 143 00:06:05,418 --> 00:06:06,918 - April, I appreciate that, but I don't think it's something 144 00:06:06,986 --> 00:06:08,720 Worth losing your virginity over. 145 00:06:08,787 --> 00:06:11,922 - Leslie, I don't know if this is important or not, 146 00:06:12,290 --> 00:06:14,891 But I have heard a lot of very, very interesting chatter 147 00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:16,059 Around the shoeshine stand today. 148 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,393 Oh, my god, really? 149 00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,627 What have you heard? - A lot of things. 150 00:06:18,695 --> 00:06:21,029 Uh, like, "can you believe it?" 151 00:06:21,096 --> 00:06:23,197 And "the parks lady boned dexhart." 152 00:06:23,265 --> 00:06:26,132 And "of course she did. She's totally good to go." 153 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,467 And one guy was like, "I wouldn't hit that." 154 00:06:28,535 --> 00:06:30,102 And the other guy was like, "me neither." 155 00:06:30,170 --> 00:06:31,804 Then this third guy was like, "I would." 156 00:06:31,871 --> 00:06:35,108 So I don't know if that's helpful at all. 157 00:06:35,175 --> 00:06:38,177 - Well, keep your ear to the ground. 158 00:06:38,245 --> 00:06:39,879 Okay. I'll just-- 159 00:06:39,947 --> 00:06:42,415 - I'm not gonna let these people intimidate me. 160 00:06:42,482 --> 00:06:44,617 I'm gonna do my job. 161 00:06:44,684 --> 00:06:46,418 I would be lying if I said that I never thought 162 00:06:46,486 --> 00:06:48,554 I would be involved in an incident like this. 163 00:06:48,621 --> 00:06:51,290 Except I always assumed that I would be the politician, 164 00:06:51,358 --> 00:06:54,026 And the man would be accused of sleeping with me. 165 00:06:54,094 --> 00:06:56,829 And that man would be the vice president. 166 00:06:56,897 --> 00:06:59,232 And I would be the president. 167 00:06:59,299 --> 00:07:01,701 Okay, all right, well, you look good. 168 00:07:01,768 --> 00:07:03,035 You need to put some tights on, though. 169 00:07:03,103 --> 00:07:04,670 And I want you to make sure you keep your neckline 170 00:07:04,738 --> 00:07:05,905 Nice and high. 171 00:07:05,972 --> 00:07:08,173 - Leslie knope? Alexa softcastle, pawnee sun. 172 00:07:08,241 --> 00:07:09,841 Can I ask you a few questions? 173 00:07:09,909 --> 00:07:10,942 Don't say anything. 174 00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:12,878 - I'm not afraid to say anything, okay? 175 00:07:12,946 --> 00:07:14,346 I have nothing to hide. 176 00:07:14,414 --> 00:07:17,015 I've never even met councilman dexhart before yesterday, 177 00:07:17,083 --> 00:07:18,650 And that's all I want to say about the matter. 178 00:07:18,718 --> 00:07:20,185 - Some people are saying this isn't the first time 179 00:07:20,252 --> 00:07:22,186 That you've had sex with a married councilman. 180 00:07:22,254 --> 00:07:24,054 Who's saying that? 181 00:07:24,122 --> 00:07:25,756 Some people. 182 00:07:25,824 --> 00:07:28,559 Okay, this interview is over. 183 00:07:28,627 --> 00:07:31,562 - Go home, lay low, the truth will come out. 184 00:07:31,630 --> 00:07:33,264 - I can't. I have too much work to do. 185 00:07:33,331 --> 00:07:36,100 This department is not gonna deputy-direct itself. 186 00:07:36,167 --> 00:07:37,568 I think we can manage. 187 00:07:37,636 --> 00:07:41,605 Just give me your schedule and we'll cover for you. 188 00:07:41,673 --> 00:07:46,177 Okay, I've made copies of leslie's daily work schedule. 189 00:07:46,245 --> 00:07:47,445 So we'll just split into teams, 190 00:07:47,512 --> 00:07:52,183 And each team will take... 191 00:07:52,251 --> 00:07:56,187 Damn, ten items... And we'll knock this out. 192 00:07:56,255 --> 00:07:57,789 - I swear to you, I never even met the guy 193 00:07:57,856 --> 00:07:59,023 Before last night. 194 00:07:59,091 --> 00:08:01,125 - It's okay. I believe you. 195 00:08:01,193 --> 00:08:02,460 - You do? - Of course. 196 00:08:02,528 --> 00:08:05,630 I think I know you pretty well. 197 00:08:05,698 --> 00:08:06,798 That doesn't sound like you. 198 00:08:06,865 --> 00:08:08,232 Thank you. 199 00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:09,433 If I ever see that guy, 200 00:08:09,501 --> 00:08:10,701 I'm gonna punch him right in the face. 201 00:08:10,768 --> 00:08:13,904 - Yeah, that's sweet. Use your night stick. 202 00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:15,439 Which meeting is this? 203 00:08:15,507 --> 00:08:19,209 - The organization of local auditing systems. 204 00:08:19,277 --> 00:08:21,378 Kill me. 205 00:08:21,446 --> 00:08:23,080 - All right, first order of business... 206 00:08:23,147 --> 00:08:26,083 Uh, leslie-- where's leslie? 207 00:08:26,150 --> 00:08:29,352 - Um, I gave her the day off, paul. 208 00:08:29,420 --> 00:08:31,654 I thought that was best. - Oh, yeah. That's good. 209 00:08:31,722 --> 00:08:34,290 So you'll be making the presentation then, ron. 210 00:08:34,358 --> 00:08:38,226 Yep. Yes. 211 00:08:38,294 --> 00:08:40,996 Hey, so, uh... 212 00:08:41,063 --> 00:08:43,164 That kind of brings us to what I wanted to talk to you about. 213 00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:44,232 I, uh-- 214 00:08:44,299 --> 00:08:46,133 You know, my-- 215 00:08:46,201 --> 00:08:48,802 Army reserve unit--- 216 00:08:48,870 --> 00:08:51,004 We got called up to active duty. 217 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,940 I ship out in four days. 218 00:08:53,007 --> 00:08:55,843 - Oh, my god. Where are you going? 219 00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,278 San diego. 220 00:08:57,346 --> 00:08:58,513 Oh, my god! 221 00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:00,215 It's not dangerous. 222 00:09:00,282 --> 00:09:01,583 It's mostly maintenance. 223 00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:04,018 But I'm going for, like, a year. 224 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,887 Maybe 18 months. 225 00:09:05,955 --> 00:09:09,225 And I was kind of hoping that maybe 226 00:09:09,292 --> 00:09:11,027 You'd want to come with-- with me. 227 00:09:11,094 --> 00:09:15,298 Like on a permanent-type basis. 228 00:09:15,366 --> 00:09:16,933 I don't know, it's-- 229 00:09:17,001 --> 00:09:19,203 It's kind of a weird question. 230 00:09:19,271 --> 00:09:22,774 I mean, I joined to put myself through college, 231 00:09:22,842 --> 00:09:26,746 And, uh, it's, you know, I'm just a desk jockey, 232 00:09:26,813 --> 00:09:28,981 But it's-- it's rewarding. 233 00:09:29,049 --> 00:09:34,220 So yeah, I guess I'm in love with the army. 234 00:09:34,288 --> 00:09:35,788 Oh, leslie. Well, yeah. 235 00:09:35,856 --> 00:09:38,525 Yeah, that makes a lot more sense. 236 00:09:38,592 --> 00:09:41,494 Yeah, I'm definitely in love with leslie. 237 00:09:41,562 --> 00:09:43,229 It's--it's affirmative. 238 00:09:43,297 --> 00:09:46,399 I--I know this seems kind of fast, 239 00:09:46,467 --> 00:09:47,667 But I feel like we-- 240 00:09:47,735 --> 00:09:49,068 I feel like we got something here. 241 00:09:49,136 --> 00:09:51,237 I do too. 242 00:09:51,304 --> 00:09:53,072 - Yeah? - Yeah. 243 00:09:53,139 --> 00:09:54,640 - Well, you don't have to answer right away. 244 00:09:54,708 --> 00:09:58,010 But you kinda do. I mean, I need to know...Soon. 245 00:10:01,113 --> 00:10:02,280 - Wow. - Yeah. 246 00:10:02,348 --> 00:10:03,548 Are you gonna go? 247 00:10:03,616 --> 00:10:06,317 - This whole dexhart thing is not making me feel 248 00:10:06,385 --> 00:10:07,919 Very attached to pawnee right now. 249 00:10:07,987 --> 00:10:11,422 - San diego, jeez. - Yeah. 250 00:10:11,489 --> 00:10:12,757 You could learn how to surf. 251 00:10:12,824 --> 00:10:14,124 I know how to surf. 252 00:10:14,192 --> 00:10:15,693 I took lessons when I was a kid. 253 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:19,231 I'm actually pretty good. - I bet you are. 254 00:10:19,298 --> 00:10:22,000 I would miss leslie like crazy. 255 00:10:22,068 --> 00:10:25,771 Aww... 256 00:10:25,839 --> 00:10:28,241 - All right, sorted out that payroll issue--this is done. 257 00:10:28,309 --> 00:10:30,243 - "bring a case of beer to sanitation." why? 258 00:10:30,311 --> 00:10:32,412 - Let's skip that one. They can buy their own beer. 259 00:10:32,479 --> 00:10:34,146 I'm getting hungry. Let's get something to eat. 260 00:10:34,214 --> 00:10:35,447 Hey, have you figured out 261 00:10:35,515 --> 00:10:36,648 What you're getting ann for christmas? 262 00:10:36,716 --> 00:10:39,151 - Oh, I got her a pretty great computer bag. 263 00:10:39,218 --> 00:10:41,253 - Yeah? That's a terrible gift. 264 00:10:41,321 --> 00:10:43,188 - No, no, tom, she needs one. 265 00:10:43,256 --> 00:10:44,857 She mentioned it to me two months ago, 266 00:10:44,924 --> 00:10:46,291 And I wrote it down. 267 00:10:46,359 --> 00:10:48,627 That's what's called being an amazing boyfriend. 268 00:10:48,695 --> 00:10:51,896 - Have you seen ann? You know how hot she is? 269 00:10:51,964 --> 00:10:54,732 Men give women of that caliber speed boats, 270 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:58,000 Private jets... Not computer bags. 271 00:10:58,068 --> 00:10:59,373 - Okay, what do you think I should get her? 272 00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:00,975 - Diamonds. Can't go wrong with diamonds. 273 00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:02,177 - Diamonds? 274 00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:03,945 - There isn't a woman alive who doesn't love diamonds. 275 00:11:04,012 --> 00:11:05,374 Even the super-left-wing chicks 276 00:11:05,442 --> 00:11:06,608 That saw blood diamond and cried... 277 00:11:07,076 --> 00:11:08,643 When they get a diamond, they're, like, 278 00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,579 "yeah, bitch, gimme more of them blood diamonds! 279 00:11:11,647 --> 00:11:12,448 Make 'em extra bloody." 280 00:11:13,315 --> 00:11:14,817 Trust me. 281 00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,952 - We are here looking at a videotape. 282 00:11:18,020 --> 00:11:20,555 This is back in April, 2005. 283 00:11:20,623 --> 00:11:22,123 We see here we're looking at councilman dexhart. 284 00:11:22,191 --> 00:11:23,324 Leslie, you should see this. 285 00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:25,660 - And he's now about to shake hands 286 00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:28,630 With leslie knope, the alleged sex toy. 287 00:11:28,697 --> 00:11:31,232 Oh, for cripes sake. 288 00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:33,735 - Look at the way she's smiling at him. 289 00:11:33,802 --> 00:11:35,303 And then almost unconsciously 290 00:11:35,371 --> 00:11:36,904 Touching her hands to her hips. 291 00:11:36,972 --> 00:11:39,274 See that? Right there. 292 00:11:39,341 --> 00:11:41,442 It's like she's sending him a message 293 00:11:41,510 --> 00:11:42,510 That she's ready for childbearing. 294 00:11:42,578 --> 00:11:44,550 - Wow. - In a 24-hour news cycle, 295 00:11:44,618 --> 00:11:47,653 The tiniest story gets dissected over and over again. 296 00:11:47,721 --> 00:11:51,457 In 2004, a kid from pawnee went to the olympics, 297 00:11:51,524 --> 00:11:54,693 And it was reported on for over a year. 298 00:11:54,761 --> 00:11:56,462 He wasn't even competing or anything. 299 00:11:56,529 --> 00:11:59,732 He just was going, literally, to watch the olympics. 300 00:12:06,773 --> 00:12:09,108 - It was way too easy to get this guy here. 301 00:12:09,175 --> 00:12:12,044 - Councilman dexhart, this has gone far enough. 302 00:12:12,112 --> 00:12:13,579 I want you to hold a press conference 303 00:12:13,647 --> 00:12:14,580 And clear my name. 304 00:12:14,648 --> 00:12:17,116 - Mmm, no, thanks. - Why not? 305 00:12:17,183 --> 00:12:18,317 What's in it for you? 306 00:12:18,385 --> 00:12:20,019 - Well, to be honest, being linked to leslie 307 00:12:20,086 --> 00:12:21,687 Is a lot less damning than the real story. 308 00:12:21,755 --> 00:12:24,790 You're like a glass of whole milk. 309 00:12:24,858 --> 00:12:27,426 What are you, lutheran? I love lutherans. 310 00:12:27,494 --> 00:12:29,895 - Councilman, with all due respect, get a grip. 311 00:12:29,963 --> 00:12:31,263 If you don't hold a press conference, 312 00:12:31,331 --> 00:12:33,332 I'm gonna come forward and tell the whole story. 313 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:34,700 It won't do you any good. 314 00:12:34,768 --> 00:12:37,836 Take it from me, denying only makes things worse. 315 00:12:37,904 --> 00:12:39,204 Listen, I gotta go. 316 00:12:39,272 --> 00:12:41,240 I'm expected at two different maternity wards. 317 00:12:41,308 --> 00:12:45,110 But before I go, I'd be remiss if I didn't ask-- 318 00:12:45,178 --> 00:12:46,945 Should we? 319 00:12:47,013 --> 00:12:48,847 Oh, my god! 320 00:12:48,915 --> 00:12:49,848 - People already think we did it. 321 00:12:49,916 --> 00:12:50,916 You've got nothing to lose. 322 00:12:50,984 --> 00:12:52,751 I'm very good. - Get outta here! 323 00:12:52,819 --> 00:12:53,752 All right, fine. 324 00:12:53,820 --> 00:12:56,422 - Shoe shine. Shoe shine. 325 00:12:56,489 --> 00:12:58,157 Oh, hey. - Hey. 326 00:12:58,224 --> 00:12:59,925 - I've been thinking about your gay boyfriend all day. 327 00:12:59,993 --> 00:13:01,660 I have got some awesome ideas. 328 00:13:01,728 --> 00:13:02,414 Okay. 329 00:13:01,852 --> 00:13:06,054 First idea: Spray tan gift certificates. 330 00:13:06,622 --> 00:13:09,758 Uh...No. 331 00:13:09,825 --> 00:13:12,427 - Trip to germany. Germany is awesome. 332 00:13:12,495 --> 00:13:14,162 And expensive. 333 00:13:14,230 --> 00:13:16,731 - Good call. I didn't think of that. 334 00:13:16,799 --> 00:13:18,193 - Okay, you know how people say 335 00:13:18,261 --> 00:13:20,429 That you should give gifts that you would want to get yourself? 336 00:13:20,797 --> 00:13:22,197 What would you want? 337 00:13:22,265 --> 00:13:24,533 - Easy. Indianapolis colts reggie wayne jersey-- 338 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,435 Number 87, double-xl, home blue, 339 00:13:26,502 --> 00:13:28,437 Signed by reggie wayne right after he catches a touchdown 340 00:13:28,504 --> 00:13:29,971 To win the super bowl. 341 00:13:30,039 --> 00:13:33,642 - Okay, never mind. - No? 342 00:13:33,709 --> 00:13:36,411 Hip-hop abs dance fitness dvd. 343 00:13:36,479 --> 00:13:40,048 - We just received these exclusive photos. 344 00:13:40,116 --> 00:13:41,716 We have pictures of city councilman dexhart... 345 00:13:41,784 --> 00:13:44,986 - Oh, my god! I cannot believe it! 346 00:13:45,054 --> 00:13:48,423 - The big issue now is who is this mystery woman? 347 00:13:48,491 --> 00:13:51,860 She and knope are standing very close to each other. 348 00:13:51,928 --> 00:13:53,695 And anytime you see two women 349 00:13:53,763 --> 00:13:55,697 Standing very close to each other, 350 00:13:55,765 --> 00:13:56,965 You immediately assume... - No, no, don't say it. 351 00:13:57,033 --> 00:13:58,733 Please don't say it. - Lesbian. 352 00:13:58,801 --> 00:14:00,368 - Oh, of course. - What? 353 00:14:00,436 --> 00:14:03,805 - It is a veritable storm of information 354 00:14:03,873 --> 00:14:05,674 Coming in to the studios here today. 355 00:14:05,741 --> 00:14:07,742 - Hi, this is leslie knope, and I would like joan 356 00:14:07,810 --> 00:14:08,877 To clear all of her guests tomorrow 357 00:14:08,945 --> 00:14:10,245 Because I'm coming on the show. 358 00:14:10,313 --> 00:14:12,213 If you think that you can drag me and my friend 359 00:14:12,281 --> 00:14:13,915 Through the mud, then you've got-- 360 00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:15,083 Yes, I'll hold. 361 00:14:16,619 --> 00:14:17,619 - It's unbelievable. - Hey. 362 00:14:17,687 --> 00:14:19,221 What happened? 363 00:14:19,289 --> 00:14:21,023 - Got a call from some panicky morning joggers. 364 00:14:21,490 --> 00:14:24,125 Apparently sanitation didn't empty this dumpster, 365 00:14:24,193 --> 00:14:26,328 To the raccoons' delight. 366 00:14:26,395 --> 00:14:28,463 - I thought raccoons were supposed to be nocturnal. 367 00:14:28,531 --> 00:14:29,764 - Not in this town, sweetheart. 368 00:14:29,832 --> 00:14:31,833 In this town, they're 24/7. 369 00:14:31,901 --> 00:14:34,469 We can't have raccoons for the christmas thing. 370 00:14:34,537 --> 00:14:37,138 They'll hunt the kids for sport. 371 00:14:37,206 --> 00:14:38,807 Fess up, guys. Who dropped the ball? 372 00:14:38,874 --> 00:14:41,843 - Bring a case of beer to sanitation. 373 00:14:41,911 --> 00:14:43,511 Bring a case of-- 374 00:14:43,579 --> 00:14:45,046 Yeah, this one's our fault, ron. 375 00:14:45,114 --> 00:14:46,781 And we will take care of this for you. 376 00:14:46,849 --> 00:14:49,818 - Okay good, because I have to run a public forum, 377 00:14:49,885 --> 00:14:51,519 Supervise the maintenance crews, 378 00:14:51,587 --> 00:14:54,389 And teach crafts at the senior center. 379 00:14:54,457 --> 00:14:55,957 Simuaneously. 380 00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:58,126 - Joan, I just wanted to say thank you 381 00:14:58,194 --> 00:15:00,161 For letting me be on your show. 382 00:15:00,229 --> 00:15:02,330 I'm really happy that I have the chance to clear my name. 383 00:15:02,398 --> 00:15:04,566 - Sure. I see you brought your girlfriend for support. 384 00:15:04,634 --> 00:15:07,335 That's nice. - What? 385 00:15:07,403 --> 00:15:09,270 Oh, no, she's not-- - and in five, joan... 386 00:15:09,338 --> 00:15:10,405 - She's a--we're-- - four, three... 387 00:15:10,473 --> 00:15:11,840 You've got it wrong. 388 00:15:11,907 --> 00:15:16,567 - Sex. Drugs, possibly. Rock and roll? 389 00:15:16,635 --> 00:15:18,869 We'll find out on pawnee today's 390 00:15:18,937 --> 00:15:21,172 Exclusive interview with the woman 391 00:15:21,239 --> 00:15:24,775 At the center of the dexhart sex scandal, leslie knope. 392 00:15:24,843 --> 00:15:28,579 Leslie, my first question has to be 393 00:15:28,647 --> 00:15:30,581 When did the affair start? 394 00:15:30,649 --> 00:15:33,084 - Joan, I spoke with councilman dexhart 395 00:15:33,151 --> 00:15:34,552 For the first time that night. 396 00:15:34,619 --> 00:15:37,088 We met for about 15 minutes, 397 00:15:37,155 --> 00:15:40,091 And then I went home alone, and that's the whole story. 398 00:15:40,158 --> 00:15:41,859 - Well, leslie, we all saw the tape 399 00:15:41,927 --> 00:15:43,527 From four years ago, 400 00:15:43,595 --> 00:15:46,464 And you were flashing some serious "do me" eyes. 401 00:15:46,531 --> 00:15:47,698 That's just my opinion. 402 00:15:47,766 --> 00:15:50,134 - I don't understand why I'm on trial here. 403 00:15:50,202 --> 00:15:52,837 You should be grilling councilman dexhart. 404 00:15:52,904 --> 00:15:55,506 - Oh, you know what, that's a really good idea. 405 00:15:55,574 --> 00:15:58,209 Uh, let's bring him out. Councilman, come on out. 406 00:15:58,276 --> 00:16:00,111 Hi, sweetie. 407 00:16:00,178 --> 00:16:03,047 - Why didn't you tell me he was gonna be here? 408 00:16:03,115 --> 00:16:04,882 - I thought it'd be more exciting. 409 00:16:04,950 --> 00:16:06,650 You look great. 410 00:16:09,554 --> 00:16:11,355 It's like I'm invisible. 411 00:16:11,423 --> 00:16:13,057 Okay, my name is ron. 412 00:16:13,125 --> 00:16:15,493 You don't need to know my last name. 413 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:16,961 Whoever wants to talk, go ahead, 414 00:16:17,029 --> 00:16:19,330 And we'll be out of here in a tight 15. 415 00:16:19,398 --> 00:16:21,665 - I found a sandwich in one of your parks, 416 00:16:21,733 --> 00:16:26,504 And I want to know why it didn't have mayonnaise. 417 00:16:26,571 --> 00:16:28,172 What's so funny? - Oh. 418 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,407 - Yeah, I don't think kids should be allowed 419 00:16:29,474 --> 00:16:30,741 On the playground equipment. 420 00:16:30,809 --> 00:16:32,232 Okay, we've been over this. 421 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:33,767 If you're worried about swine flu, 422 00:16:34,635 --> 00:16:36,302 Use hand sanitizer-- 423 00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:37,370 - I'm not worried about swine flu. 424 00:16:37,437 --> 00:16:38,504 I already had the swine flu. 425 00:16:38,572 --> 00:16:39,572 I'm worried about the turtle flu! 426 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,907 - The turtle flu... - Turtle flu. 427 00:16:41,975 --> 00:16:44,510 Turtle flu. 428 00:16:44,578 --> 00:16:47,380 - Joan, this whole pawnee sun story 429 00:16:47,447 --> 00:16:49,515 Is "gotcha journalism" at its worst. 430 00:16:49,583 --> 00:16:51,584 Honey, let's just keep our private life 431 00:16:51,652 --> 00:16:52,918 In the bedroom where it belongs. 432 00:16:52,986 --> 00:16:54,954 - We do not have a private life. 433 00:16:55,022 --> 00:16:56,856 Stop saying that we have a private life. 434 00:16:56,923 --> 00:16:58,324 The fact is we never slept together. 435 00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:00,793 And if we did, you would have proof. 436 00:17:00,861 --> 00:17:02,561 And we would have seen it by now. 437 00:17:02,629 --> 00:17:03,829 Councilman? 438 00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:06,165 I can prove it. 439 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:09,402 She has a mole on her right buttock. 440 00:17:09,469 --> 00:17:12,171 - What? That is a total lie. 441 00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:14,674 You've never seen my butt. What are you talking about? 442 00:17:14,741 --> 00:17:16,909 He has never seen my butt. 443 00:17:16,977 --> 00:17:18,411 - 444 00:17:18,478 --> 00:17:21,380 - Well, I guess it's your word against his. 445 00:17:21,448 --> 00:17:22,848 I mean... - That's right. 446 00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:25,685 Fine. 447 00:17:25,752 --> 00:17:28,554 Here, joan, why don't you look for yourself? 448 00:17:28,622 --> 00:17:30,956 Is this happening? 449 00:17:31,024 --> 00:17:33,359 Wait...There's no mole. 450 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,194 There is no mole! 451 00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:37,263 This exclusive story-- 452 00:17:37,331 --> 00:17:40,099 There is no mole on miss knope! 453 00:17:40,167 --> 00:17:41,100 - I can't believe it's come to this. 454 00:17:41,168 --> 00:17:42,401 This is utterly humiliating. 455 00:17:42,469 --> 00:17:43,869 - Well, councilman, care to make a comment 456 00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:46,138 About no-mole-gate? 457 00:17:46,206 --> 00:17:47,673 Yes. 458 00:17:47,741 --> 00:17:49,308 I really didn't think that miss knope would 459 00:17:49,376 --> 00:17:50,799 Pull down her pants on tv. 460 00:17:51,467 --> 00:17:53,702 But since she did, 461 00:17:53,769 --> 00:17:57,205 I will admit that the rumors of our affair 462 00:17:57,273 --> 00:17:59,341 Are indeed false. 463 00:17:59,408 --> 00:18:00,742 - Thank you. - However... 464 00:18:00,810 --> 00:18:02,777 I have no plans to resign. 465 00:18:02,845 --> 00:18:04,679 - Oh, great. Okay, councilman, 466 00:18:04,747 --> 00:18:05,847 You know what, you're a class act. 467 00:18:05,915 --> 00:18:07,282 Thank you. 468 00:18:07,350 --> 00:18:09,117 I thought you did great. 469 00:18:09,185 --> 00:18:10,418 When you get all feisty like that, 470 00:18:10,486 --> 00:18:12,721 It gets my heart racing. 471 00:18:12,788 --> 00:18:14,956 Like I'm on a stairmaster. 472 00:18:15,024 --> 00:18:21,296 Except more like in a sexual...Context. 473 00:18:21,364 --> 00:18:25,166 - I can't go to san diego with you. 474 00:18:28,471 --> 00:18:32,073 My life is here. My friends, my career. 475 00:18:32,141 --> 00:18:34,009 - I guess I just thought, with everything that happened, 476 00:18:34,076 --> 00:18:36,411 You'd want a fresh start. 477 00:18:36,479 --> 00:18:39,781 - I know, I-- I really care about you, dave. 478 00:18:39,849 --> 00:18:41,283 I just-- 479 00:18:41,350 --> 00:18:44,152 I love this town. 480 00:18:44,220 --> 00:18:45,754 I'm sorry. 481 00:18:47,556 --> 00:18:48,990 You want your ticket back? 482 00:18:49,058 --> 00:18:51,660 - No. You know what, keep it. 483 00:18:51,727 --> 00:18:55,363 You may want to come visit me, right? 484 00:18:55,431 --> 00:18:57,532 There's a $75 change fee, 485 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,035 But I could pay you that, or I could reimburse you. 486 00:19:00,102 --> 00:19:01,736 There's a lot of ways we could handle that. 487 00:19:12,403 --> 00:19:15,406 Oh, ho, that's, uh... 488 00:19:16,374 --> 00:19:19,142 Hey. Sorry I'm late. 489 00:19:19,210 --> 00:19:20,243 Hey! 490 00:19:20,311 --> 00:19:22,846 - Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you. 491 00:19:22,913 --> 00:19:25,983 That took guts, mooning joan callamezzo. 492 00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:27,968 Aww, honey... - Thanks, mom. 493 00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:30,071 Oh, my god, is something wrong with the tree? 494 00:19:30,138 --> 00:19:31,772 No, nothing wrong. 495 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:32,773 - But it's almost 9:00. It should have been lighted up 496 00:19:32,841 --> 00:19:33,874 An hour ago. 497 00:19:33,942 --> 00:19:35,409 We waited for you. 498 00:19:41,283 --> 00:19:43,551 Okay, everybody, countin' down! 499 00:19:43,618 --> 00:19:47,888 - five, four, three, two, 500 00:19:47,956 --> 00:19:49,190 One. 501 00:19:52,994 --> 00:19:56,230 - âÂTª joy to the world the lord is come âÂTª 502 00:19:56,298 --> 00:20:00,201 âÂTª let earth receive her king âÂTª 503 00:20:00,268 --> 00:20:03,037 âÂTª let every heart... âÂTª 504 00:20:03,105 --> 00:20:05,573 - It's gotten a lot harder to work in government. 505 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,808 You think winston churchill ever had to pull his pants down 506 00:20:07,876 --> 00:20:08,876 And show his butt? 507 00:20:08,944 --> 00:20:11,345 No. But would he have? 508 00:20:11,413 --> 00:20:12,713 Yes. 509 00:20:12,781 --> 00:20:14,382 Now, could he have? 510 00:20:14,449 --> 00:20:15,783 Maybe not towards the end of his life, 511 00:20:15,851 --> 00:20:18,953 But he would have. 512 00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:20,555 Because he loved his job. 513 00:20:31,399 --> 00:20:36,436 - Ho ho! Reggie wayne! 514 00:20:36,504 --> 00:20:38,238 Dude! 515 00:20:38,306 --> 00:20:41,374 You remembered me complaining about my computer bag. 516 00:20:41,442 --> 00:20:44,077 - Do you like it? - Yeah, it's perfect. 517 00:20:44,145 --> 00:20:46,246 It's way better than the gift that I got you. 518 00:20:48,505 --> 00:20:50,273 - Oh... - They're not even good seats. 519 00:20:50,340 --> 00:20:51,807 Achh! - This is awesome. 520 00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:52,875 It's not awesome. 521 00:20:52,943 --> 00:20:57,013 - I actually got you a second gift. 522 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,182 You don't have to come to this game with me. 523 00:21:00,684 --> 00:21:03,186 You don't have to. 524 00:21:03,253 --> 00:21:04,353 - That's the nicest gift... - Is that good? Is that good? 525 00:21:04,421 --> 00:21:06,255 - Anybody's ever gotten me in my life. 526 00:21:08,125 --> 00:21:09,692 Oh, thank god. 527 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,627 There's a bunch of messages waiting for you 528 00:21:11,695 --> 00:21:15,064 About a bunch of things I don't understand. 529 00:21:15,468 --> 00:21:21,470 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 530 00:21:21,538 --> 00:21:24,340 - 531 00:21:30,814 --> 00:21:34,203 - Hi, this is leslie knope in the parks department.