1 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:05,741 And it's because of you, our teachers, 2 00:00:05,741 --> 00:00:08,730 that everyone of this recreation, classes in this catalog, 3 00:00:08,731 --> 00:00:10,362 Shines like a jewel 4 00:00:10,362 --> 00:00:12,296 In pawnee's beautiful crown. 5 00:00:12,363 --> 00:00:14,264 [light applause] 6 00:00:14,332 --> 00:00:16,866 Unfortunately, due to budget constraints, 7 00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,301 This year we will have to remove 8 00:00:18,368 --> 00:00:19,990 Five jewels from that crown. 9 00:00:20,058 --> 00:00:21,599 - Excuse me? 10 00:00:21,667 --> 00:00:22,784 Are you cutting our classes? 11 00:00:22,851 --> 00:00:23,958 - Yeah. 12 00:00:24,026 --> 00:00:27,517 The city, um, took away $1,000 from our budget. 13 00:00:27,585 --> 00:00:28,720 So I'm very sorry. 14 00:00:28,788 --> 00:00:31,528 - How will you decide which classeto cut? 15 00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:34,401 - By attendance. And student evaluations. 16 00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:36,906 So just make sure your students leave with a smile. 17 00:00:36,974 --> 00:00:40,345 - My class is called "coping with terminal illness." 18 00:00:40,413 --> 00:00:43,216 - Hopefully, your attendance is good. 19 00:00:43,284 --> 00:00:44,717 Actually, no. 20 00:00:44,785 --> 00:00:46,554 Hopefully, it's bad. 21 00:00:46,621 --> 00:00:48,456 Nobody's more upset about this than me. 22 00:00:48,524 --> 00:00:50,258 I've been taking these rec center classes 23 00:00:50,326 --> 00:00:51,860 Since I was in high school. 24 00:00:51,928 --> 00:00:53,296 It's where I learned hair braiding 25 00:00:53,363 --> 00:00:56,801 And how to make biscuits, french kissing. 26 00:00:56,869 --> 00:00:58,871 The french kissing was just from a boy in my biscuits class, 27 00:00:58,938 --> 00:01:01,241 But either way, lesson learned. 28 00:01:01,308 --> 00:01:04,212 [triumphant music] 29 00:01:24,322 --> 00:01:25,648 - I wanna go. 30 00:01:25,715 --> 00:01:26,916 - We have to get tickets in February 31 00:01:26,984 --> 00:01:28,484 To go to rio de janeiro, leslie knope. 32 00:01:28,552 --> 00:01:29,919 - Okay. 33 00:01:29,987 --> 00:01:33,123 I am on a date with justin in indianapolis. 34 00:01:33,190 --> 00:01:34,324 We've only been out a few times, 35 00:01:34,392 --> 00:01:35,759 But every one of them has been amazing. 36 00:01:35,827 --> 00:01:37,060 - Cheers. 37 00:01:37,128 --> 00:01:40,365 - Last time, we had a private tour and cocktails 38 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,002 At the indianapolis aquarium. 39 00:01:42,070 --> 00:01:44,539 That fish over there kind of reminds me of my mom. 40 00:01:44,607 --> 00:01:45,941 - Why? 41 00:01:46,008 --> 00:01:47,874 - It's... Just being really withholding. 42 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,508 Justin is definitely the most interesting guy 43 00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:50,676 I've ever dated. 44 00:01:50,743 --> 00:01:52,978 - All I did was a little paperwork. 45 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,346 - Hmm. He's being modest. 46 00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:57,383 It is thanks to him my family remains in this country. 47 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:58,986 And it was all pro bono. 48 00:01:59,053 --> 00:02:00,053 - Oh, justin. 49 00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:03,957 - You have got to try this. 50 00:02:04,025 --> 00:02:05,125 - Oh, that's really good. 51 00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:06,493 - Isn't it great? - Mm-hmm. 52 00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:09,163 - It's camel stomach. - Is it? 53 00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:10,464 - I'm teasing, I'm teasing. It's chicken. 54 00:02:10,532 --> 00:02:12,399 [chuckling] 55 00:02:12,467 --> 00:02:13,867 - Would you like to try the camel stomach? 56 00:02:13,935 --> 00:02:15,169 - No. 57 00:02:15,237 --> 00:02:17,005 [laughing] 58 00:02:17,073 --> 00:02:18,641 - Oh, this is me. 59 00:02:18,709 --> 00:02:20,310 - So when am I gonna see you again? 60 00:02:20,377 --> 00:02:22,312 Oh, you know what? 61 00:02:22,380 --> 00:02:23,714 I'm gonna be near pawnee on Tuesday. 62 00:02:23,782 --> 00:02:25,015 - Excellent, yeah. 63 00:02:25,083 --> 00:02:26,183 I'll plan something exciting. 64 00:02:26,251 --> 00:02:28,419 - Mm. - In fact... 65 00:02:28,487 --> 00:02:29,621 Our date in pawnee 66 00:02:29,688 --> 00:02:31,323 Is gonna blow indianapolis out of the water. 67 00:02:31,390 --> 00:02:34,694 - All right. I'm gonna hold you to that. 68 00:02:34,761 --> 00:02:35,862 - Good, you better. 69 00:02:35,930 --> 00:02:39,400 - I will. 70 00:02:39,467 --> 00:02:41,102 - I've racked my brain 71 00:02:41,170 --> 00:02:43,203 And I can't come up with one exciting idea. 72 00:02:43,271 --> 00:02:45,470 I mean, he once ate fried cockatoo 73 00:02:45,538 --> 00:02:47,605 With a member of the thai royal family. 74 00:02:47,673 --> 00:02:49,739 - Well, maybe just have him over 75 00:02:49,807 --> 00:02:51,073 And cook him some chicken 76 00:02:51,141 --> 00:02:53,172 And tell him it's pawnee cockatoo. 77 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,106 - A dinner party. That's genius. 78 00:02:56,174 --> 00:02:58,742 I'll invite all my most interesting friends over, 79 00:02:58,810 --> 00:03:00,110 We'll have this big rambling party-- 80 00:03:00,178 --> 00:03:02,279 - No, I actually meant more of, like, a one-on-one thing. 81 00:03:02,347 --> 00:03:03,447 - I know what you meant, 82 00:03:03,514 --> 00:03:04,815 But I took your idea and made it better. 83 00:03:04,882 --> 00:03:06,082 It's called a think tank, ann. 84 00:03:06,150 --> 00:03:07,184 - What is? - Our lunches. 85 00:03:07,251 --> 00:03:08,618 Our lunches are like think thanks. 86 00:03:08,686 --> 00:03:10,454 Okay, I want you to come over to my house at 2:00 87 00:03:10,521 --> 00:03:11,621 And help me get ready. 88 00:03:11,689 --> 00:03:12,922 Oh, and make sure that mark is coming. 89 00:03:12,990 --> 00:03:14,791 Oh, so much work to do. You're my best friend. 90 00:03:14,859 --> 00:03:18,127 Now get out of here! 91 00:03:18,195 --> 00:03:20,362 - How many courses will there be? 92 00:03:20,430 --> 00:03:22,431 - Three. - Mm. 93 00:03:22,499 --> 00:03:24,399 - Four. - Mm... 94 00:03:24,467 --> 00:03:26,601 - Not including dessert. - So five courses. 95 00:03:26,669 --> 00:03:29,237 - Yes. Now it will be five courses. 96 00:03:29,305 --> 00:03:30,672 - If I wanted to bring 97 00:03:30,739 --> 00:03:33,574 A large number of deviled eggs 98 00:03:33,642 --> 00:03:36,544 But I didn't want to share them with anyone else, 99 00:03:36,612 --> 00:03:38,112 Can you guarantee fridge space? 100 00:03:38,180 --> 00:03:40,047 - Just be there at 8:00. 101 00:03:40,115 --> 00:03:42,783 Oh, hey, tom. 102 00:03:42,851 --> 00:03:44,118 I'm having an a-list dinner party for justin 103 00:03:44,185 --> 00:03:45,452 And you, out of all my friends, 104 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:47,054 Come from the most distant and exotic land. 105 00:03:47,121 --> 00:03:48,455 - South carolina? 106 00:03:48,523 --> 00:03:50,857 - [laughs] save it for the party. 107 00:03:50,925 --> 00:03:52,092 Can you make it? 108 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,561 - For justin, are you kidding? I'm there. 109 00:03:54,629 --> 00:03:56,262 Just don't invite any boring people like jerry. 110 00:03:56,330 --> 00:03:57,430 - What are you guys talking about? 111 00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:58,498 - Nothing. - Don't worry about it. 112 00:03:58,566 --> 00:03:59,766 - What? 113 00:03:59,833 --> 00:04:02,435 - [humming] [approaching footsteps] 114 00:04:02,502 --> 00:04:04,170 - Leslie, hey. - Hi. 115 00:04:04,237 --> 00:04:05,805 - Check it out. Just practicing. 116 00:04:05,873 --> 00:04:07,140 - Isn't that polish gonna get on people's butts 117 00:04:07,207 --> 00:04:08,308 When they sit down? 118 00:04:08,375 --> 00:04:10,309 - [scoffs] no. 119 00:04:10,377 --> 00:04:11,644 - Okay, listen. I'm having a party. 120 00:04:11,711 --> 00:04:13,045 - Mm-hmm. 121 00:04:13,113 --> 00:04:14,546 - And, um, I thought maybe you could help me with serving 122 00:04:14,614 --> 00:04:15,714 And taking people's coats. 123 00:04:15,782 --> 00:04:16,848 I'd pay you, like, ten bucks an hour. 124 00:04:16,916 --> 00:04:19,783 - My guardian angel, I would love to. 125 00:04:19,851 --> 00:04:21,650 Who's gonna be there? - Really fun people. 126 00:04:21,718 --> 00:04:24,153 Ron, tom, mark and ann. 127 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,687 - [clears throat] 128 00:04:25,754 --> 00:04:27,121 That's great. What's the occasion? 129 00:04:27,189 --> 00:04:28,322 - Justin's coming to town. 130 00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:30,424 - Hah... 131 00:04:30,492 --> 00:04:31,825 Hey, it's me justin. 132 00:04:31,893 --> 00:04:33,826 Take my coat, but please be careful. 133 00:04:33,894 --> 00:04:35,361 I got it from the king of africa 134 00:04:35,428 --> 00:04:39,197 When we were walking on the-- the berlin wall together. 135 00:04:39,265 --> 00:04:40,498 Really, justin. 136 00:04:40,566 --> 00:04:43,234 What instruments do you play? 137 00:04:43,302 --> 00:04:44,669 Actually-- 138 00:04:44,736 --> 00:04:46,937 Actually, he's a pretty sick keyboardist. 139 00:04:47,005 --> 00:04:49,006 Oh, great, I'm good to go. That sounds great. 140 00:04:49,073 --> 00:04:50,207 - Great. - I'll see you there. 141 00:04:50,274 --> 00:04:52,041 - All right. 142 00:04:52,109 --> 00:04:53,209 - Afternoon, andy. 143 00:04:53,277 --> 00:04:54,677 - [laughs nervously] hi, hi, kyle. 144 00:04:54,744 --> 00:04:55,978 You know, right before you sat down, 145 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,313 I noticed, did you have some kind of stain on your ass 146 00:04:58,381 --> 00:04:59,747 Or something, what was that? 147 00:04:59,815 --> 00:05:02,216 - What? 148 00:05:02,284 --> 00:05:04,616 - Oh, no, no, no. You're good. 149 00:05:04,684 --> 00:05:07,018 [doorbell rings] 150 00:05:07,086 --> 00:05:08,285 - Hey, ann. - Hey. 151 00:05:08,353 --> 00:05:09,752 - Welcome to my house for the very first time. 152 00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:11,686 - I know, I can't believe you've never had me over. 153 00:05:11,754 --> 00:05:14,055 - [laughs] 154 00:05:19,294 --> 00:05:21,195 - Now I can believe it. 155 00:05:21,263 --> 00:05:23,632 - I know, I know. It's a little messy. 156 00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:24,801 But I have a system. 157 00:05:24,868 --> 00:05:26,402 So I just need you to help me 158 00:05:26,470 --> 00:05:27,803 Put the finishing touches on everything. 159 00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:31,571 - This newspaper's from November 1986. 160 00:05:31,639 --> 00:05:34,107 - Oh, the first rumblings of iran contra. 161 00:05:34,174 --> 00:05:35,374 Don't throw that out. 162 00:05:35,442 --> 00:05:37,576 - I think I need to call child services 163 00:05:37,643 --> 00:05:40,011 And have leslie taken away from herself. 164 00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:42,145 [groans] 165 00:05:42,213 --> 00:05:44,748 Leslie, don't take this the wrong way, 166 00:05:44,815 --> 00:05:49,186 But your house is like a crazy person's garage. 167 00:05:49,253 --> 00:05:51,388 What do you need this birdhouse for? 168 00:05:51,455 --> 00:05:53,222 - Ah-- 169 00:05:53,290 --> 00:05:54,390 - Can we get rid of it? 170 00:05:54,457 --> 00:05:56,158 - Ah--oh-- I might need it. 171 00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:58,026 - What about this one? 172 00:05:58,093 --> 00:06:00,361 - Well, if two birds come along. 173 00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:01,528 - Leslie. 174 00:06:01,596 --> 00:06:02,562 - Andy's gonna come over soon. 175 00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:04,030 He can help us with all this stuff. 176 00:06:04,098 --> 00:06:06,532 - Andy? No. No, no, no. 177 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,101 You need a team of professionals to help. 178 00:06:13,405 --> 00:06:15,973 - I have an idea. 179 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,674 Hi, is this maria portlesman 180 00:06:18,742 --> 00:06:21,776 From organize your life with maria portlesman? 181 00:06:21,844 --> 00:06:23,244 - April, come here! 182 00:06:23,312 --> 00:06:24,578 - What? - Shake my hand. 183 00:06:24,646 --> 00:06:25,913 - Why? 184 00:06:25,980 --> 00:06:27,347 - I can't tell if I've exfoliated too much. 185 00:06:27,415 --> 00:06:28,481 I don't wanna creep justin out. 186 00:06:28,549 --> 00:06:29,782 I want him to respect my handshake. 187 00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:31,384 - Why do you care about him? 188 00:06:31,451 --> 00:06:33,085 - Justin is hip. 189 00:06:33,153 --> 00:06:35,553 Pawnee is the opposite of hip. 190 00:06:35,621 --> 00:06:37,088 People in this town are just now 191 00:06:37,156 --> 00:06:38,622 Getting into nirvana. 192 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,124 I don't have the heart to tell them 193 00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,894 What's going to happen to kurt cobain in 1994. 194 00:06:42,961 --> 00:06:45,163 Hey, justin. 195 00:06:45,231 --> 00:06:46,464 - Ew. 196 00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:48,232 It's like touching raw chicken. 197 00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:49,965 - Damn it. 198 00:06:50,033 --> 00:06:51,802 Gonna have to re-foliate 'em. 199 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:55,807 - Um, I'll need some help moving the boxes, 200 00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:57,341 But it's doable. 201 00:06:57,409 --> 00:06:59,243 - Oh, thank god. How much do I owe you? 202 00:06:59,311 --> 00:07:01,378 - Oh, please. No charge. 203 00:07:01,446 --> 00:07:04,047 I just appreciate the chance to demonstrate 204 00:07:04,115 --> 00:07:05,882 How valuable my class is to the rec center. 205 00:07:05,950 --> 00:07:09,318 And I hope you'll keep that in mind. 206 00:07:09,386 --> 00:07:12,220 - Oh, no, no. I insist on paying. 207 00:07:12,288 --> 00:07:15,423 - Oh, no, no. I insist on demonstrating. 208 00:07:15,490 --> 00:07:17,325 - This is not going to affect my decision at all. 209 00:07:17,392 --> 00:07:18,893 - Oh, of course not. 210 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,228 - Stop winking. 211 00:07:21,296 --> 00:07:23,063 - Hey, leslie, I forgot to ask you. 212 00:07:23,131 --> 00:07:24,898 What are you cooking? - Five courses. 213 00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:27,334 - Of what? - Huh? 214 00:07:27,401 --> 00:07:30,236 - Of what? - Oh, god. 215 00:07:30,304 --> 00:07:33,672 [chopping vegetables] 216 00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:35,507 So how's it looking? It smells great. 217 00:07:35,575 --> 00:07:37,575 - Okay, the appetizers are almost ready. 218 00:07:37,642 --> 00:07:39,976 And I think that they are a very good sampling 219 00:07:40,044 --> 00:07:42,011 Of what my level one class does. 220 00:07:42,079 --> 00:07:43,112 Which I hope you'll keep in mind 221 00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:44,613 When you're making your decisions. 222 00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:47,016 - Tania, like I said over the phone-- 223 00:07:47,083 --> 00:07:48,117 - I know. 224 00:07:48,184 --> 00:07:49,418 It won't influence your decision. 225 00:07:49,485 --> 00:07:50,586 It's just that learning to cook 226 00:07:50,653 --> 00:07:51,720 Is very important in this day and age. 227 00:07:51,788 --> 00:07:52,721 - Is it? 228 00:07:55,396 --> 00:07:57,263 - Hey, andy. - Hey. 229 00:07:57,331 --> 00:07:59,065 - Are you gonna be all right tonight? 230 00:07:59,132 --> 00:08:01,300 - What? 'cause of mark and justin? 231 00:08:01,368 --> 00:08:04,169 They are just guests at a really awesome dinner party 232 00:08:04,237 --> 00:08:05,537 And I will treat them as such. 233 00:08:05,605 --> 00:08:06,737 - That sounds very professional. 234 00:08:06,805 --> 00:08:08,005 - Thank you. 235 00:08:08,073 --> 00:08:09,839 I promise I will not spit in anyone's food, 236 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:11,273 Unless they should request that I do. 237 00:08:11,341 --> 00:08:13,208 - Good. - Did I do this right? 238 00:08:13,276 --> 00:08:15,377 - I don't know. 239 00:08:15,445 --> 00:08:16,845 [doorbell rings] 240 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:18,313 Oh, hey, mark. 241 00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:19,580 Welcome to my humble abode. 242 00:08:19,648 --> 00:08:21,882 - Well, thank you. Wha--oh. 243 00:08:21,950 --> 00:08:24,051 This is way cleaner than the last time I was here. 244 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,523 - You've been here? 245 00:08:26,591 --> 00:08:28,291 Right. 246 00:08:28,359 --> 00:08:30,060 - When was mark here before? 247 00:08:32,629 --> 00:08:34,997 - Oh. Sex. 248 00:08:35,065 --> 00:08:38,534 - I can't wait to talk to justin again. 249 00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:39,835 Last time he told me about 250 00:08:39,903 --> 00:08:43,339 How he snorkeled with whale sharks in madagascar. 251 00:08:43,407 --> 00:08:44,507 That was after I told him 252 00:08:44,574 --> 00:08:48,210 That I sometimes go swimming at the "y." 253 00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,179 - Oh, thank you, son. 254 00:08:50,246 --> 00:08:51,580 Leslie knope. 255 00:08:51,648 --> 00:08:54,716 I believe you've arranged accommodations for these. 256 00:08:54,783 --> 00:08:56,050 - Yes, I have. 257 00:08:56,117 --> 00:08:57,517 - Uh, hey, ron swanson, you didn't happen to hear about 258 00:08:57,585 --> 00:08:59,584 The incident with mayor gunderson's dog, did you? 259 00:08:59,652 --> 00:09:01,052 - Oh, my god, it was a blood bath. 260 00:09:01,119 --> 00:09:02,285 - No, no, no. No talking. 261 00:09:02,352 --> 00:09:04,720 Everybody stop talking... Until justin gets here. 262 00:09:04,788 --> 00:09:07,422 Don't use up your stories. 263 00:09:07,490 --> 00:09:08,757 - Well, I think somebody from animal services 264 00:09:08,825 --> 00:09:09,925 Is gonna get canned. 265 00:09:09,993 --> 00:09:11,393 - Oh, my god, what part of not talking 266 00:09:11,461 --> 00:09:13,795 Do you not understand? 267 00:09:13,863 --> 00:09:16,365 Please have a good time and shut your mouth. 268 00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:17,833 I just want this dinner party to go well. 269 00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:20,301 There are very few things I've asked for in this world: 270 00:09:20,369 --> 00:09:22,336 To build a new park from scratch, 271 00:09:22,403 --> 00:09:23,770 To eventually become president, 272 00:09:23,838 --> 00:09:25,972 And to one day solve a murder on a train. 273 00:09:26,039 --> 00:09:29,040 I think it's fair to add this to the list. 274 00:09:29,108 --> 00:09:30,307 [overlapping conversations] 275 00:09:30,375 --> 00:09:31,642 [doorbell rings] 276 00:09:31,710 --> 00:09:33,477 - Guys, justin's here. That's justin. 277 00:09:33,545 --> 00:09:35,579 Everybody. Start talking. 278 00:09:35,647 --> 00:09:37,214 [silence] 279 00:09:37,281 --> 00:09:39,682 Wow... 280 00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:43,285 Oh... 281 00:09:43,353 --> 00:09:44,886 Hey. - Hey. 282 00:09:44,954 --> 00:09:46,288 - Hey. - Sorry I'm a little bit late. 283 00:09:46,355 --> 00:09:47,355 - Oh, that's okay. 284 00:09:47,423 --> 00:09:49,423 Welcome to my very interesting party. 285 00:09:49,491 --> 00:09:50,591 - Andy dwyer. 286 00:09:50,659 --> 00:09:52,692 Can't wait to catch up with this guy. 287 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,927 - All right, justin, may I take your coat, sir? 288 00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:57,896 - Why, yeah. Thank you. 289 00:09:57,964 --> 00:09:59,298 Can't wait. 290 00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:01,233 I finally get to hang out with all your friends tonight. 291 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,267 - I know, it's gonna be super fun. 292 00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:03,435 It's gonna be a blast. 293 00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:04,869 Really, really, really, just, like, the best 294 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,004 And most exciting night of your life. 295 00:10:06,071 --> 00:10:08,940 I cannot overhype it enough. 296 00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:10,775 - All right, let's get started. 297 00:10:10,843 --> 00:10:12,810 - What's up, j? - How are you doing, man? 298 00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:14,946 How are you? Justin. - I have the swine flu. 299 00:10:15,013 --> 00:10:17,920 - Oh, I'm sorry-- - no, she doesn't. 300 00:10:17,987 --> 00:10:19,487 - [knocking on door] yo. 301 00:10:19,555 --> 00:10:20,622 - Yo. 302 00:10:20,689 --> 00:10:22,424 - Is that justin's coat? 303 00:10:22,492 --> 00:10:24,559 - Oh, yeah. Isn't it awesome? 304 00:10:24,627 --> 00:10:25,994 He got it in cambodia 305 00:10:26,062 --> 00:10:28,696 When he was hiking mount everest. 306 00:10:28,764 --> 00:10:29,864 - Let's put chewed up gum in his pockets. 307 00:10:29,932 --> 00:10:31,199 - That's genius. But I can't. 308 00:10:31,267 --> 00:10:32,901 Leslie's being super cool to me. 309 00:10:32,968 --> 00:10:35,235 I can't screw over her boyfriend's jacket. 310 00:10:35,303 --> 00:10:37,137 - I'll do it when you're not in the room then. 311 00:10:37,205 --> 00:10:42,041 - That would be terrible. 312 00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,610 I'm being sarcastic. That would be awesome. 313 00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:47,279 - God, india is so amazing. Let me tell you something. 314 00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:49,282 That is my absolute favorite place to travel. 315 00:10:49,350 --> 00:10:50,616 Where did you say your parents were from? 316 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:53,185 - Um, the south part. 317 00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:56,054 - Oh, the southern part's always the best part of anything. 318 00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:57,788 - Have you ever been to the kanmian mosque, 319 00:10:57,856 --> 00:10:59,157 Down in tamil nadu? 320 00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:00,325 - Are you kiddin 321 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,926 My uncle practically runs the place. 322 00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:03,494 I've prayed there. It's sick. 323 00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:05,129 - Tell me everything, right now. 324 00:11:05,196 --> 00:11:08,031 - One sec, I just gotta hit the loo, 325 00:11:08,099 --> 00:11:10,333 As those bastard british imperialists would say. 326 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,468 [laughter] 327 00:11:12,536 --> 00:11:15,842 Last time I was in india, I was eight years old. 328 00:11:15,910 --> 00:11:17,912 And I stayed inside the whole time playing video games. 329 00:11:17,980 --> 00:11:20,515 I gotta bone up. 330 00:11:20,582 --> 00:11:23,415 Fourth largest coal reserves in the wld. 331 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,915 - This is the best old fashioned I have ever had. 332 00:11:25,983 --> 00:11:27,314 Where did you find this bartender? 333 00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:29,915 - Oh, ah, I think, I don't know. 334 00:11:29,983 --> 00:11:31,849 Like maybe the yellow pages? 335 00:11:31,917 --> 00:11:34,151 - There's no way that you're paying him enough. 336 00:11:34,219 --> 00:11:36,353 - Well, if you want, I could teach you the secret to great-- 337 00:11:36,420 --> 00:11:38,487 - Shh! 338 00:11:38,555 --> 00:11:40,456 - Leslie. - Ann, get over here. 339 00:11:40,523 --> 00:11:42,691 - I'm here, already. - Good. 340 00:11:42,758 --> 00:11:44,659 Okay, do you think this party's going well? 341 00:11:44,727 --> 00:11:46,360 I mean, can you see justin? Is he having fun? 342 00:11:46,427 --> 00:11:51,000 - Justin is over there talking to mark happily. 343 00:11:51,068 --> 00:11:53,002 - Okay, good. Yeah, good. 344 00:11:53,070 --> 00:11:55,970 I'm just gonna casually make my-- 345 00:11:56,037 --> 00:11:58,939 - So my face is literally on fire, 346 00:11:59,006 --> 00:12:00,640 But it's this weird chemical 347 00:12:00,708 --> 00:12:03,142 So no one can see the flames. 348 00:12:03,210 --> 00:12:05,277 Um, I'm dancing around, freaking out. 349 00:12:05,345 --> 00:12:07,246 I end up having to dunk my face 350 00:12:07,313 --> 00:12:08,547 Into a bucket of sand. 351 00:12:08,614 --> 00:12:10,215 - Unreal. - Unreal? 352 00:12:10,282 --> 00:12:11,816 - Oh, my god. That is unbelievable. 353 00:12:11,884 --> 00:12:12,984 - Oh, my god, that's-- isn't it, ann? 354 00:12:13,051 --> 00:12:14,418 Unbelievable. 355 00:12:14,485 --> 00:12:15,585 - It didn't happen to me. 356 00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,986 It was a kid I knew from camp. 357 00:12:18,054 --> 00:12:20,955 But a great story is a great story. 358 00:12:21,023 --> 00:12:22,123 Well, plus the kid can't tell it. 359 00:12:22,191 --> 00:12:24,158 His mouth melted. 360 00:12:24,226 --> 00:12:25,726 [overlapping conversation] 361 00:12:25,794 --> 00:12:27,661 - Dinner is served. 362 00:12:27,729 --> 00:12:31,297 - Oh. Excellent. 363 00:12:33,033 --> 00:12:34,566 - Hi. Oh. 364 00:12:34,634 --> 00:12:38,302 I'm sorry, are we late? 365 00:12:38,370 --> 00:12:40,370 - What the hell are you doing? 366 00:12:40,438 --> 00:12:43,106 How could you invite wendy when ron's here? 367 00:12:43,174 --> 00:12:44,174 He's gonna wrap her up in his moustache 368 00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:45,442 And take her home. 369 00:12:45,509 --> 00:12:46,509 - We agreed that we should invite 370 00:12:46,577 --> 00:12:47,677 Interesting people for justin, 371 00:12:47,745 --> 00:12:49,178 And wendy is an interesting person. 372 00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:50,280 And I've been telling you for weeks 373 00:12:50,347 --> 00:12:51,381 That you should tell her how you feel. 374 00:12:51,448 --> 00:12:52,482 Now's your chance. 375 00:12:52,550 --> 00:12:53,783 - Oh, yeah, that makes sense. 376 00:12:53,851 --> 00:12:54,952 No, it doesn't! 377 00:12:55,020 --> 00:12:58,757 Not cool. At all! 378 00:12:58,825 --> 00:13:00,326 - He'll get over it. 379 00:13:00,394 --> 00:13:01,794 - No, I won't! 380 00:13:01,862 --> 00:13:05,797 - The first course is a mexican bean soup. 381 00:13:05,865 --> 00:13:08,465 - Ooh. Dios mio. 382 00:13:08,533 --> 00:13:10,700 - Are these peppers for consuming? 383 00:13:10,767 --> 00:13:12,368 - Uh, I wouldn't. They're very hot. 384 00:13:12,435 --> 00:13:15,703 - I'm gonna give it a try. 385 00:13:15,771 --> 00:13:18,072 Mm. Hot. 386 00:13:18,139 --> 00:13:20,206 - You're very brave. 387 00:13:20,274 --> 00:13:22,107 - Please. That was one of the tiny ones. 388 00:13:22,175 --> 00:13:24,076 ♪this is how you eat it♪ 389 00:13:27,479 --> 00:13:30,114 - Don't do that, tom. - Mm. [bleep]! 390 00:13:33,418 --> 00:13:35,685 - Uh, um, uh-- 391 00:13:35,753 --> 00:13:37,220 This is something. 392 00:13:37,287 --> 00:13:38,454 Justin, derek and ben are gay. 393 00:13:38,522 --> 00:13:40,722 But often on occasion, 394 00:13:40,790 --> 00:13:43,625 April will have relations with derek. 395 00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:46,093 Right? Crazy stuff. Discuss that. 396 00:13:46,161 --> 00:13:48,495 - There's not much more to discuss. 397 00:13:48,563 --> 00:13:49,729 You kind of explained it all. 398 00:13:49,797 --> 00:13:52,031 - [sighs] 399 00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:54,900 Who else is gay? 400 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:56,869 Tom, I need your help. There was a lull. 401 00:13:56,936 --> 00:13:58,570 I saw justin yawn. 402 00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,038 Please tell me that yawning is a sign of excement 403 00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:01,405 In india or something. 404 00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:02,573 Tom, focus. - Ah! 405 00:14:02,641 --> 00:14:04,274 - God, you're no help. 406 00:14:04,342 --> 00:14:06,409 Yes, just to be clear, um, 407 00:14:06,477 --> 00:14:07,877 This will in no way influence me. 408 00:14:07,945 --> 00:14:09,179 It won't affect my decision 409 00:14:09,246 --> 00:14:11,147 And it has no bearing on the future of your class. 410 00:14:11,215 --> 00:14:13,482 - Hey, little buddy. 411 00:14:13,550 --> 00:14:15,084 Everything okay? 412 00:14:15,152 --> 00:14:16,485 That took a long time. 413 00:14:16,553 --> 00:14:19,054 - Mm, poor tommy. He has a very frail colon. 414 00:14:19,122 --> 00:14:21,823 - I feel your pain, brother. 415 00:14:21,891 --> 00:14:23,123 Hottest thing I ever put into my mouth 416 00:14:23,191 --> 00:14:24,791 Was in this remote village in southern brazil. 417 00:14:24,859 --> 00:14:25,926 - Ooh, this sounds good. - Yeah. 418 00:14:25,993 --> 00:14:28,628 They take a little bit of scorpion poison 419 00:14:28,695 --> 00:14:30,663 And they serve it to you-- [doorbell rings] 420 00:14:30,730 --> 00:14:31,997 - I wonder who that is. - Oh. 421 00:14:32,065 --> 00:14:33,966 - Who could that be? - More people. 422 00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:36,735 - A belly dancer? 423 00:14:36,803 --> 00:14:38,437 [laughs] what? 424 00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:41,239 It's weird, but, uh, 425 00:14:41,307 --> 00:14:43,407 She just showed up. 426 00:14:43,475 --> 00:14:45,374 I mean, I'm not the kind of person 427 00:14:45,442 --> 00:14:47,943 That's gonna throw someone out or, you know, 428 00:14:48,011 --> 00:14:51,946 Not let them in if they randomly show up. 429 00:14:52,014 --> 00:14:55,615 I--I don't know how they all got here. 430 00:14:55,683 --> 00:14:57,850 You know, people hear about a killer party 431 00:14:57,918 --> 00:15:00,852 At knope's house, they all come a-runnin'. 432 00:15:04,788 --> 00:15:06,321 - You don't do origami every day, do you? 433 00:15:06,389 --> 00:15:07,622 - They brought in a little entertainment, 434 00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:09,123 Thank god. 435 00:15:09,190 --> 00:15:11,291 'cause that justin is so boring. 436 00:15:11,358 --> 00:15:14,027 - What are you talking about? He's incredible. 437 00:15:14,095 --> 00:15:16,229 - Yeah, he's not gay, but if he were, 438 00:15:16,297 --> 00:15:17,797 I would totally break up with ben for him. 439 00:15:17,864 --> 00:15:19,732 - Yeah, I would understand. 440 00:15:19,799 --> 00:15:21,066 He's amazing, right, April? 441 00:15:21,134 --> 00:15:23,001 - Right, April? Don't we love him? 442 00:15:23,069 --> 00:15:24,769 [chuckles] 443 00:15:24,837 --> 00:15:29,840 - Yeah, he's actually kind of awesome. 444 00:15:29,908 --> 00:15:31,609 - You're underage. 445 00:15:31,677 --> 00:15:32,943 I could lose my liquor license, I'm sorry. 446 00:15:33,011 --> 00:15:34,111 - Andy. 447 00:15:34,178 --> 00:15:36,112 - Hey, are you having fun? 448 00:15:36,180 --> 00:15:39,380 - All I can say is this is not what I was expecting. 449 00:15:39,448 --> 00:15:40,747 [bell rings] 450 00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:43,182 I cannot believe there's more. - There's not. 451 00:15:45,918 --> 00:15:47,451 - Miss knope. 452 00:15:47,519 --> 00:15:49,286 I understand that you're currently evaluating 453 00:15:49,354 --> 00:15:50,454 The rec center teachers. 454 00:15:50,522 --> 00:15:52,957 - You're doing what, leslie? 455 00:15:53,025 --> 00:15:55,593 - I demand an evaluation. 456 00:15:55,661 --> 00:15:57,860 - Okay. What course do you teach? 457 00:15:57,928 --> 00:16:00,629 - When it comes to choosing accounting software, 458 00:16:00,697 --> 00:16:03,032 There's no accounting for taste. 459 00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:04,266 [chuckles] 460 00:16:04,334 --> 00:16:05,834 - [laughing] 461 00:16:05,902 --> 00:16:08,103 - The advantage of quickbooks pro is that 462 00:16:08,171 --> 00:16:10,372 It's easy to assemble a list of vendors-- 463 00:16:10,439 --> 00:16:12,840 - Well, this is great. 464 00:16:12,907 --> 00:16:14,541 I'm heading home, 465 00:16:14,608 --> 00:16:17,276 So as not to have to be here anymore. 466 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,445 My office first thing tomorrow. 467 00:16:19,513 --> 00:16:22,447 - Yeah, I think we're probably gonna take off too. 468 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,649 - The--the demonstration takes another 45 minutes. 469 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:25,916 - Yeah, guys, please. 470 00:16:25,984 --> 00:16:28,117 Everybody, can you just stay, okay? 471 00:16:28,185 --> 00:16:31,219 Justin, would you-- 472 00:16:31,287 --> 00:16:32,887 Oh, my god. 473 00:16:34,496 --> 00:16:35,581 - I promise you, miss knope, 474 00:16:35,581 --> 00:16:37,047 This disciplinary committee 475 00:16:37,115 --> 00:16:38,912 Will go over every detail of what happened last night 476 00:16:38,980 --> 00:16:40,846 And we will determine whether you are guilty 477 00:16:40,914 --> 00:16:42,648 Of abusing your power. 478 00:16:42,716 --> 00:16:44,883 Do you have anything to say before we begin? 479 00:16:44,950 --> 00:16:48,488 - Just that I'm looking forward 480 00:16:48,555 --> 00:16:50,091 To the truth coming out. 481 00:16:50,159 --> 00:16:52,560 - I would like to say that leslie 482 00:16:52,628 --> 00:16:55,563 Is incapable of using people for her own gain. 483 00:16:55,630 --> 00:16:57,164 - Thank you, tom. 484 00:16:57,232 --> 00:16:58,631 - But I can't because 485 00:16:58,699 --> 00:17:00,833 Leslie loves using people for her own gain. 486 00:17:00,901 --> 00:17:02,602 - If I may, phil, 487 00:17:02,670 --> 00:17:04,771 I'd like to say something to tom on the record. 488 00:17:04,839 --> 00:17:06,206 - This has all been on the record. 489 00:17:06,273 --> 00:17:09,442 - I'm very sorry that I invited wendy to the party. 490 00:17:09,509 --> 00:17:10,976 - Is wendy one of the teachers? 491 00:17:11,044 --> 00:17:12,544 - No, she's my soon-to-be ex-wife. 492 00:17:12,612 --> 00:17:15,380 - And hopefully then-to-be future wife. 493 00:17:15,447 --> 00:17:17,047 Look, I'm really sorry. 494 00:17:17,115 --> 00:17:19,683 I put a new romance in front of an old friendship. 495 00:17:19,750 --> 00:17:21,751 - Okay. 496 00:17:21,819 --> 00:17:23,420 - I put a beautiful man 497 00:17:23,487 --> 00:17:25,422 In front of an adorable man child. 498 00:17:25,490 --> 00:17:27,057 - You're ruining it. 499 00:17:27,125 --> 00:17:28,425 - I put a big white stallion 500 00:17:28,493 --> 00:17:30,360 In front of a little brown pony. 501 00:17:30,427 --> 00:17:32,028 - Totally uncalled for. 502 00:17:32,096 --> 00:17:34,030 - Ron swanson will be next. 503 00:17:34,098 --> 00:17:36,532 - When it comes to government hearings, 504 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,068 The only type of witness I enjoy being 505 00:17:39,135 --> 00:17:40,735 Is a hostile one. 506 00:17:40,803 --> 00:17:42,837 That's why I intend to answer 507 00:17:42,905 --> 00:17:46,873 Every one of their questions with a question. 508 00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:49,642 - Were you aware that all of the entertainment and food 509 00:17:49,710 --> 00:17:51,310 Was provided by rec center teachers? 510 00:17:51,378 --> 00:17:54,146 - Would I have stayed if I knew that? 511 00:17:54,214 --> 00:17:55,280 - I don't know. Would you have? 512 00:17:55,348 --> 00:17:56,615 - Would you have? 513 00:17:56,683 --> 00:17:58,717 - No, I wouldn't have. 514 00:17:58,785 --> 00:18:01,687 Did you hear leslie make any promises? 515 00:18:01,754 --> 00:18:03,488 - What constitutes a promise? 516 00:18:03,556 --> 00:18:04,921 - A quid pro quo. 517 00:18:04,989 --> 00:18:06,921 - Oh. Do you know latin? 518 00:18:06,989 --> 00:18:09,588 - Okay. Thank you, ron. 519 00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,788 - Are we done? 520 00:18:11,855 --> 00:18:14,554 - Can I get a shine? 521 00:18:14,621 --> 00:18:17,987 - Oh, no, I'm sorry. We're closed. 522 00:18:18,055 --> 00:18:19,621 Due to betrayment. 523 00:18:19,689 --> 00:18:21,357 - Well, I'm sorry. 524 00:18:21,425 --> 00:18:22,726 But I don't know what you're talking about. 525 00:18:22,793 --> 00:18:24,928 - Why don't you ask your new best friend? 526 00:18:24,995 --> 00:18:28,931 Whose name is justin. - Justin? 527 00:18:28,999 --> 00:18:30,132 - Yes. 528 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,900 - I would, 529 00:18:31,968 --> 00:18:35,570 But he's probably too busy... 530 00:18:35,638 --> 00:18:40,008 Cleaning gum out of his coat pockets. 531 00:18:41,144 --> 00:18:44,980 - Wow. Unbetrayed. 532 00:18:45,048 --> 00:18:46,949 - So you don't work for the government, 533 00:18:47,016 --> 00:18:49,017 And you had no idea that these people 534 00:18:49,085 --> 00:18:50,685 Were teachers from the local rec center. 535 00:18:50,753 --> 00:18:52,153 - No. 536 00:18:52,221 --> 00:18:53,755 I was simply attending a dinner party at my friend's house. 537 00:18:53,823 --> 00:18:55,957 - Why is he here, ms. Knope? 538 00:18:56,025 --> 00:18:57,759 - That will become clear. 539 00:18:57,826 --> 00:18:59,793 Mr. Anderson, could you please describe that evening? 540 00:18:59,861 --> 00:19:02,427 - Well, I had a very pleasant time. 541 00:19:02,495 --> 00:19:04,725 And from my perspective, there was no abuse of power 542 00:19:04,793 --> 00:19:07,625 With respect to ms. Knope and any of her various guests. 543 00:19:07,693 --> 00:19:09,193 - Could you define pleasant? 544 00:19:09,261 --> 00:19:11,928 Did you have a good time? Did you have a great time? 545 00:19:11,996 --> 00:19:13,897 Be specific, and do you remember that you're under oath? 546 00:19:13,965 --> 00:19:16,432 - Mm-hmm. I had an amazing time. 547 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,334 - But you fell asleep. 548 00:19:18,402 --> 00:19:19,701 - Oh, god, I'm so sorry. 549 00:19:19,769 --> 00:19:21,503 No--look, I, uh, you know, 550 00:19:21,571 --> 00:19:22,837 I'd been given a case the night before. 551 00:19:22,905 --> 00:19:24,238 So I had to stay up all night working on it. 552 00:19:24,306 --> 00:19:25,739 I didn't want to cancel. 553 00:19:25,807 --> 00:19:27,040 - You should have told me, I would have rescheduled. 554 00:19:27,108 --> 00:19:28,608 - Are you kidding me? I was looking forward to it. 555 00:19:28,676 --> 00:19:31,044 I had an awesome time. 556 00:19:31,112 --> 00:19:33,813 Which had nothing to do with the rec center teachers. 557 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,115 - No further questions. 558 00:19:36,183 --> 00:19:37,216 - Okay. 559 00:19:37,284 --> 00:19:38,618 We're going to take a break, 560 00:19:38,686 --> 00:19:40,254 And we'll let you know what we decide 561 00:19:40,322 --> 00:19:42,257 In about an hour. 562 00:19:42,325 --> 00:19:43,625 - Great. 563 00:19:43,693 --> 00:19:45,460 I will, uh, see you later. 564 00:19:45,528 --> 00:19:46,695 - I'm in the middle of official business 565 00:19:46,763 --> 00:19:47,863 So I can't talk about it right now. 566 00:19:47,931 --> 00:19:48,897 - Okay. - But yes, yes, you will. 567 00:19:48,965 --> 00:19:50,365 - Great. 568 00:19:50,433 --> 00:19:54,501 - [clears throat] 569 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:56,733 So did you get that? He said "amazing" and "awesome." 570 00:19:56,801 --> 00:19:58,968 So I'm gonna drive up and see him next weekend. 571 00:19:59,036 --> 00:20:01,037 There's some kabuki theater festival happening. 572 00:20:01,105 --> 00:20:02,205 - Great. 573 00:20:02,272 --> 00:20:04,306 You're so relaxed. 574 00:20:04,374 --> 00:20:05,641 You're not freaking out about this at all? 575 00:20:05,709 --> 00:20:07,076 - Okay, leslie. 576 00:20:07,143 --> 00:20:08,877 We've reached our decision. 577 00:20:08,945 --> 00:20:10,645 We're not going to take 578 00:20:10,713 --> 00:20:12,246 Any further action at this time. 579 00:20:12,314 --> 00:20:14,049 - Thank you. 580 00:20:14,116 --> 00:20:16,184 - It really helped that you asked for this hearing yourself 581 00:20:16,252 --> 00:20:18,286 And that you made financial restitution 582 00:20:18,353 --> 00:20:19,653 Out of your own pocket. 583 00:20:19,721 --> 00:20:22,557 But I think we both know you skirted a line here. 584 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,494 - You turned yourself in? Why? 585 00:20:27,562 --> 00:20:30,197 - Well, I did something wrong and I felt bad. 586 00:20:30,265 --> 00:20:33,700 So this morning, I donated $1,000 to the rec center 587 00:20:33,768 --> 00:20:36,269 So everybody could keep teaching their classes. 588 00:20:36,337 --> 00:20:38,240 - Okay, so why did you ask for the hearing? 589 00:20:38,307 --> 00:20:39,441 - Are you kidding, ann? 590 00:20:39,509 --> 00:20:41,376 It's every girl's dream to ask a dude 591 00:20:41,444 --> 00:20:44,612 How their date went under penalty of perjury. 592 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:45,746 I'm not proud of my actions, 593 00:20:45,814 --> 00:20:47,348 But the most important thing is there is now 594 00:20:47,415 --> 00:20:48,782 An official government document 595 00:20:48,850 --> 00:20:51,451 That proves my dinner party kicked ass. 596 00:20:55,406 --> 00:20:57,339 - Tommy hav. - J-train. 597 00:20:57,407 --> 00:20:58,507 - What's up, buddy? 598 00:20:58,574 --> 00:21:02,142 This might be none of my business, but... 599 00:21:02,210 --> 00:21:04,878 You need to ask wendy out. 600 00:21:04,946 --> 00:21:07,013 For reals this time. 601 00:21:07,081 --> 00:21:08,614 - Did leslie tell you? 602 00:21:08,682 --> 00:21:11,217 - No. She didn't need to. 603 00:21:11,285 --> 00:21:12,618 I saw it. 604 00:21:12,686 --> 00:21:14,453 - I'm not gay, 605 00:21:14,521 --> 00:21:16,555 But you're the most incredible man I've ever met. 606 00:21:16,623 --> 00:21:19,422 - That doesn't sound gay at all. 607 00:21:19,489 --> 00:21:20,754 See you later. 608 00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:22,122 - Take care. - Bye, brother. 609 00:21:22,189 --> 00:21:22,821 - You sure you don't wanna come hang out for a minute? 610 00:21:22,821 --> 00:21:23,821 Sync by l3ob www.addic7ed.com