1
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,813
Valentine's day was a month ago.
2
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,214
Why are you giving it to me now?
3
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:17,783
Whatever. Happy
early valentine's day.
4
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,418
I saw this and I thought of you.
5
00:00:19,485 --> 00:00:22,104
Hope you keep that
somewhere special.
6
00:00:22,172 --> 00:00:24,736
Okay, this is one of those
nanny cam teddy bears, isn't it?
7
00:00:24,804 --> 00:00:26,154
What? No!
8
00:00:26,221 --> 00:00:28,128
It's a regular
camera-less teddy bear.
9
00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:30,733
Just put it in your droom,
don't even think about it.
10
00:00:30,801 --> 00:00:32,134
[scoffs]
11
00:00:32,201 --> 00:00:35,271
It's a robot bear.
It's programmed to snuggle.
12
00:00:35,339 --> 00:00:36,606
I'll take it.
13
00:00:36,673 --> 00:00:38,240
Donna, there's a camera in it.
14
00:00:38,308 --> 00:00:41,008
I know.
15
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:43,977
[triumphant music]
16
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:54,045
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
17
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,026
All right, that's basically it.
18
00:01:03,094 --> 00:01:04,728
Water the plants, get the mail--
19
00:01:04,795 --> 00:01:05,761
Can I read your mail?
20
00:01:05,829 --> 00:01:06,962
No, please don't.
21
00:01:07,029 --> 00:01:08,495
Fine.
22
00:01:08,563 --> 00:01:09,595
Oh, and, um...
23
00:01:09,663 --> 00:01:11,595
Here are the keys, and remember--
24
00:01:11,663 --> 00:01:13,830
I know, don't let
tom make a copy.
25
00:01:13,898 --> 00:01:15,431
That's right, good.
26
00:01:15,499 --> 00:01:18,633
I'm paying April 50 bucks to
watch my house while I'm away.
27
00:01:18,701 --> 00:01:20,001
I would have asked leslie,
28
00:01:20,069 --> 00:01:23,270
But I've seen the way she
takes care of her house.
29
00:01:23,338 --> 00:01:24,838
Plus, there's always been
30
00:01:24,905 --> 00:01:27,040
A little distance
between me and April.
31
00:01:27,108 --> 00:01:28,842
And I thought this would maybe,
I don't know,
32
00:01:28,910 --> 00:01:31,243
Give us a chance to
get a little closer,
33
00:01:31,311 --> 00:01:32,344
Maybe even--
34
00:01:32,411 --> 00:01:33,545
I don't like ann.
35
00:01:33,612 --> 00:01:35,145
Become friends.
36
00:01:35,213 --> 00:01:36,513
Who knows?
37
00:01:36,581 --> 00:01:39,915
Leslie, this is evelyn rowshlind
38
00:01:39,983 --> 00:01:41,116
From the mayor's office.
39
00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:43,451
Oh, hello,
I've always dreamed of you.
40
00:01:43,519 --> 00:01:45,253
- Excuse me?
- Meeting you.
41
00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:46,587
What can I do for you? Have a seat.
42
00:01:46,655 --> 00:01:48,355
- Uh, I prefer to stand.
- Okay.
43
00:01:48,423 --> 00:01:50,223
I have kind of an
odd favor to ask.
44
00:01:50,290 --> 00:01:52,057
Mayor gunderson was
playing golf last week
45
00:01:52,125 --> 00:01:54,592
At pawnee municipal,
and he brought his dog--
46
00:01:54,660 --> 00:01:55,793
Rufus.
47
00:01:55,861 --> 00:01:57,495
We all know rufus.
Everybody loves rufus.
48
00:01:57,562 --> 00:01:59,129
He's a great dog. Continue.
49
00:01:59,197 --> 00:02:01,264
Well, uh, they were
out on the sixth hole
50
00:02:01,332 --> 00:02:02,632
When suddenly, out of nowhere--
51
00:02:02,699 --> 00:02:04,032
Rufus was bitten by a possum?
52
00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:05,801
Yes, how did you know that?
53
00:02:05,868 --> 00:02:08,136
[sigh] it was fairway frank.
54
00:02:08,204 --> 00:02:10,739
Fairway frank is this awful possum
55
00:02:10,807 --> 00:02:13,075
Who lives near the sixth hole
of the public golf course.
56
00:02:13,143 --> 00:02:15,311
And he's actually number three
on the parks department's
57
00:02:15,379 --> 00:02:16,879
Most wanted pests list.
58
00:02:16,947 --> 00:02:19,848
Right behind the bats who like
to poop on the bell tower,
59
00:02:19,916 --> 00:02:21,783
And poopy, the raccoon who poops
60
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,317
All over the high school cafeteria.
61
00:02:23,384 --> 00:02:25,584
Shouldn't you take this
up with animal control?
62
00:02:25,652 --> 00:02:27,513
Let's be honest,
animal control is not
63
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,481
The most effective
branch of our government.
64
00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:30,949
They're a bunch of
burned-out morons.
65
00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:32,283
Well, you have the reputation
66
00:02:32,351 --> 00:02:33,751
As a person who gets things done.
67
00:02:33,819 --> 00:02:36,654
So we'd like you to form
a little task force,
68
00:02:36,722 --> 00:02:38,289
Find the animal, and t it down.
69
00:02:38,357 --> 00:02:39,290
Task force?
70
00:02:39,358 --> 00:02:40,524
Needless to say,
71
00:02:40,592 --> 00:02:41,825
The mayor will be very
grateful for your help.
72
00:02:41,893 --> 00:02:44,127
Ma'am, the next time we speak,
73
00:02:44,195 --> 00:02:46,662
We shall be dancing on
the grave of a possum.
74
00:02:46,730 --> 00:02:48,030
Great.
75
00:02:48,098 --> 00:02:49,565
Ron will show you around.
76
00:02:49,632 --> 00:02:53,402
Um, right this way is the exit.
77
00:02:53,469 --> 00:02:54,669
Yo, police.
78
00:02:54,737 --> 00:02:56,603
Ah, ha ha, no, you're not.
79
00:02:56,671 --> 00:02:57,671
Coffee? [gasp]
80
00:02:57,738 --> 00:02:58,738
Yup.
81
00:02:58,806 --> 00:03:00,105
You always know what to bring me.
82
00:03:00,173 --> 00:03:01,939
I only ever bring you coffee.
83
00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:06,075
And it is my very favorite
non-alcoholic hot drink,
84
00:03:06,143 --> 00:03:07,777
Except for hot tea.
85
00:03:07,845 --> 00:03:10,245
And hot orange juice,
weirdly delicious.
86
00:03:10,313 --> 00:03:12,180
Anyways, thank you so much.
I needed it.
87
00:03:12,248 --> 00:03:14,683
I got a really bad case
of shoe shine head today.
88
00:03:14,750 --> 00:03:16,851
Andy recently diagnosed himself
89
00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:20,087
With what he calls "
shoe shine head."
90
00:03:20,155 --> 00:03:22,355
It's when you shine too many shoes
91
00:03:22,423 --> 00:03:24,190
And the fumes create
92
00:03:24,258 --> 00:03:26,692
A thunderstorm in your brain.
93
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:31,294
Cures include coffee,
cheeseburgers,
94
00:03:31,362 --> 00:03:34,364
And napping on the floor.
95
00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:37,266
Mark brendanawicz.
96
00:03:37,334 --> 00:03:38,600
Hey, ron. What's up?
97
00:03:38,668 --> 00:03:41,503
I have a wood shop
98
00:03:41,570 --> 00:03:43,304
And I'm planning a
little expansion.
99
00:03:43,372 --> 00:03:45,272
Need my buddy mark,
the city planner,
100
00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:47,641
To sign off on the plans.
101
00:03:47,708 --> 00:03:49,642
Sure, I just need to
schedule an inspection.
102
00:03:49,710 --> 00:03:51,176
That's not really necessary.
103
00:03:51,244 --> 00:03:52,511
Yes, it is, but you'll be fine
104
00:03:52,579 --> 00:03:54,979
As long as you don't
have any code violations.
105
00:03:55,047 --> 00:03:59,249
You don't have any code
violations, do you?
106
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:04,786
Nope.
107
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:07,388
[kcking on door]
108
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:08,889
Eugene!
109
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,891
Boy, we have a really
important job for you.
110
00:04:10,958 --> 00:04:12,559
We'll get to it
first thing Monday.
111
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,159
Today's Wednesday.
112
00:04:14,227 --> 00:04:15,928
Look, this is not a request.
113
00:04:15,995 --> 00:04:17,395
We're acting under direct orders
114
00:04:17,463 --> 00:04:18,496
From mayor gunderson's dog.
115
00:04:18,564 --> 00:04:19,597
Office.
116
00:04:19,665 --> 00:04:21,699
I need your two
best guys to join me
117
00:04:21,767 --> 00:04:22,999
And be part of my task force.
118
00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:25,934
That would be harris and brett.
119
00:04:26,002 --> 00:04:28,103
But they're not here.
120
00:04:28,170 --> 00:04:29,404
Isn't that them there?
121
00:04:29,472 --> 00:04:30,405
Nope.
122
00:04:30,473 --> 00:04:31,439
Hey, brett.
123
00:04:31,507 --> 00:04:32,841
- Yeah.
- Dude!
124
00:04:32,908 --> 00:04:35,910
Listen, that stupid possum
is on the golf course again.
125
00:04:35,978 --> 00:04:37,345
Would you rather I
capture it myself
126
00:04:37,412 --> 00:04:38,913
And then just call you so
you can come and pick it up?
127
00:04:38,981 --> 00:04:39,981
Okay.
128
00:04:40,048 --> 00:04:41,782
[sighs]
129
00:04:41,850 --> 00:04:42,950
Hey, guys.
130
00:04:43,018 --> 00:04:44,351
Aw, cool! Hey,
you want your ball back?
131
00:04:44,419 --> 00:04:46,820
Want your ball back? Come with me.
132
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:49,054
Aw, man.
133
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,122
How you know my name, homie?
134
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:52,624
- Stop, man.
- Stop hanging yourself.
135
00:04:52,691 --> 00:04:53,791
I'm gonna hang yourself.
136
00:04:53,859 --> 00:04:55,093
Stop hanging yourself.
137
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:57,161
Quite a crack team
you've assembled, leslie.
138
00:04:57,229 --> 00:04:58,796
Yeah, well there's five
of us and only one possum.
139
00:04:58,864 --> 00:04:59,930
How hard can it be?
140
00:04:59,998 --> 00:05:02,366
Excuse us,
task force coming through.
141
00:05:03,869 --> 00:05:05,936
Task force clear, resume golfing.
142
00:05:06,004 --> 00:05:07,771
I used to love tiger woods
143
00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:09,404
Because he was a great champion.
144
00:05:09,472 --> 00:05:12,905
But after that sex scandal,
the man is a god.
145
00:05:14,541 --> 00:05:16,108
[knocking on door]
146
00:05:16,176 --> 00:05:19,010
Hey, mark. Welcome to my haven.
147
00:05:19,078 --> 00:05:20,211
Thank you.
148
00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:21,746
You're the first
non-me to set foot
149
00:05:21,814 --> 00:05:23,281
In this building in ten years.
150
00:05:23,348 --> 00:05:26,483
Um, ron, none of
this is up to code.
151
00:05:26,551 --> 00:05:29,985
Sure it is.
It's up to the swanson code.
152
00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:31,120
There's no drainage,
153
00:05:31,188 --> 00:05:32,821
Doesn't seem to be any ventilation,
154
00:05:32,889 --> 00:05:35,224
You've got hazardous
chemicals over here.
155
00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:36,892
Yeah, which only I am breathing.
156
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,326
It's the same liberty that gives me
157
00:05:38,394 --> 00:05:40,128
The right to fart in my own car.
158
00:05:40,196 --> 00:05:41,729
Are you gonna tell a man
159
00:05:41,797 --> 00:05:43,364
That he can't fart in his own car?
160
00:05:43,432 --> 00:05:45,632
There is a basket
of oil-soaked rags
161
00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:48,201
Above a wood burning stove.
162
00:05:48,269 --> 00:05:49,970
Oh, good thing I've
got a fire extinguisher.
163
00:05:50,037 --> 00:05:51,538
Which, I can assure you,
164
00:05:51,606 --> 00:05:54,607
Is totally up to
your precious code.
165
00:05:54,675 --> 00:06:00,145
Um, this says it should
be recharged June of 1996.
166
00:06:00,213 --> 00:06:01,780
Those dates are arbitrary.
167
00:06:01,848 --> 00:06:04,048
They're like those expiration
dates that t government
168
00:06:04,116 --> 00:06:06,917
Forces companies to put
on yogurt and medicine.
169
00:06:06,985 --> 00:06:08,652
Observe. Watch yourself.
170
00:06:08,719 --> 00:06:10,386
Yeah.
171
00:06:13,355 --> 00:06:15,723
Okay, I'll replace this.
172
00:06:15,791 --> 00:06:16,857
Happy?
173
00:06:16,925 --> 00:06:18,492
How long do you think
174
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:19,893
It would take me to
learn golf, leslie?
175
00:06:19,961 --> 00:06:22,330
I could teach you.
I have a 16 handicap.
176
00:06:22,397 --> 00:06:23,598
But you know,
it takes a lot of practice.
177
00:06:23,666 --> 00:06:25,235
You have to get up early,
hit the range,
178
00:06:25,303 --> 00:06:26,338
Practice reading greens.
179
00:06:26,405 --> 00:06:27,839
See, I don't wanna do all that.
180
00:06:27,906 --> 00:06:29,907
I think I just want some
of those dope pants.
181
00:06:29,975 --> 00:06:31,876
[gasps] oh my god!
182
00:06:31,944 --> 00:06:33,144
Oh, my god, it's fairway frank!
183
00:06:33,211 --> 00:06:35,546
Wow, okay, um... All right, tom?
184
00:06:35,614 --> 00:06:37,548
I want you to very slowly--
185
00:06:43,688 --> 00:06:47,389
25, 26, 27, 28 violations.
186
00:06:47,457 --> 00:06:50,624
Come on, brendanawicz. Relax.
187
00:06:50,692 --> 00:06:53,259
Let me make you a canoe.
188
00:06:53,327 --> 00:06:54,961
Uh, well,
I don't need a canoe, ron.
189
00:06:55,028 --> 00:06:57,463
I need you to fix this place up.
190
00:06:57,530 --> 00:07:00,800
So... I'll give you 24 hours.
191
00:07:10,775 --> 00:07:14,210
Okay, we may only get one
chance to catch this thing,
192
00:07:14,278 --> 00:07:15,678
So we have to play it smart.
193
00:07:15,746 --> 00:07:17,713
You two flank the left,
I'll flank the right,
194
00:07:17,781 --> 00:07:18,914
Andy will come in through--
195
00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:22,818
[screaming]
196
00:07:22,885 --> 00:07:25,887
Andy! - I got it.
197
00:07:25,955 --> 00:07:26,888
Oh, my--
198
00:07:26,956 --> 00:07:27,889
Ha ha! I got him.
199
00:07:27,957 --> 00:07:28,891
Task force! Engage!
200
00:07:28,959 --> 00:07:29,892
- He's got it.
- I got him.
201
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:30,893
He's good.
202
00:07:30,961 --> 00:07:32,227
Come on, you cowards!
203
00:07:32,295 --> 00:07:34,162
Lemme see his face.
Lemme see his face.
204
00:07:34,230 --> 00:07:35,597
It's him! It's him, we got him!
205
00:07:35,665 --> 00:07:37,198
It's okay. He's on my neck.
206
00:07:37,266 --> 00:07:38,666
- Okay, okay, okay, okay!
- He's on my neck.
207
00:07:38,701 --> 00:07:39,967
It's all right, it's all right,
it's all right.
208
00:07:40,035 --> 00:07:41,269
- He's on my neck.
- All right, it's okay.
209
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,170
You're next, poopy.
210
00:07:43,238 --> 00:07:44,705
Very impressive, leslie.
211
00:07:44,773 --> 00:07:46,607
Aw, thank you.
I had a great task force.
212
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,509
I was just the simple mastermind
213
00:07:48,576 --> 00:07:49,543
Who planned the whole operation
214
00:07:49,610 --> 00:07:50,977
And executed it to perfection.
215
00:07:51,045 --> 00:07:53,613
This is andy dwyer.
He actually caught the thing.
216
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,247
- Mr. Dwyer--
- please...
217
00:07:55,315 --> 00:07:57,783
My friends call me andy radical.
218
00:07:57,851 --> 00:07:59,183
No, we don't.
219
00:07:59,251 --> 00:08:02,253
By day, andy dwyer,
shoeshine-ist.
220
00:08:02,321 --> 00:08:05,790
By different time of day,
andy radical, possum tackler.
221
00:08:05,857 --> 00:08:08,291
And by night...
222
00:08:08,359 --> 00:08:10,258
I do whatever I want, no job.
223
00:08:10,326 --> 00:08:12,760
We think that this is
a great p.R. Opportunity
224
00:08:12,828 --> 00:08:14,829
So we've arranged for a
reporter from the journal
225
00:08:14,897 --> 00:08:17,631
To stop by to interview,
get some pictures of the team.
226
00:08:17,699 --> 00:08:19,166
Task force. Great.
227
00:08:19,234 --> 00:08:21,001
And next time you
need a special favor
228
00:08:21,069 --> 00:08:23,303
From the mayor's office,
give me a call.
229
00:08:23,371 --> 00:08:27,205
Oh, my god, I will.
I need so many special favors.
230
00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:28,573
Which one should I choose?
231
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:29,907
Well, you don't
have to choose right--
232
00:08:29,974 --> 00:08:30,974
How about an extra recycling can?
233
00:08:31,042 --> 00:08:32,008
No.
234
00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:33,676
Laminated bus pass? No.
235
00:08:33,744 --> 00:08:35,043
What time do you
usually go to sleep?
236
00:08:35,111 --> 00:08:36,611
'cause my best ideas
usually come to me at nit.
237
00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:38,179
Let's stick to
business hours, shall we?
238
00:08:38,246 --> 00:08:39,179
Yeah, all right.
239
00:08:39,247 --> 00:08:41,548
See you in hell, buddy.
240
00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:49,753
Am I sure the possum we
caught is fairway frank?
241
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:50,754
Yes.
242
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,489
Am I quite sure? No.
243
00:08:52,557 --> 00:08:54,090
Am I sure enough? Maybe.
244
00:08:54,158 --> 00:08:55,925
If it wasn't fairway frank,
would I feel badly?
245
00:08:55,992 --> 00:08:56,925
Of course.
246
00:08:56,993 --> 00:08:57,993
Could I live with myself?
247
00:08:58,061 --> 00:08:59,161
That depends.
248
00:08:59,228 --> 00:09:00,962
As a city official it's important
249
00:09:01,030 --> 00:09:03,031
That I ask myself a
lot of questions.
250
00:09:03,098 --> 00:09:05,032
Does doing so help
me make decisions
251
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,033
Uh...
252
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,215
- Oh, hey, shauna.
- Hi, leslie.
253
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:10,316
Hi!
254
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,750
Andy, you remember
shauna malwae-tweep
255
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:12,751
From the pawnee journal.
256
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:13,919
How could I forget?
257
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:15,153
You wrote the article
when I fell in the pit.
258
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,188
And then afterwards
259
00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:17,222
Had sex with Mark,
260
00:09:17,289 --> 00:09:18,790
And everyone talked about it.
261
00:09:22,242 --> 00:09:25,176
So you're on the golf course,
and you see fairway frank.
262
00:09:25,244 --> 00:09:28,379
Well, we see a possum that
we believe to be fairway frank.
263
00:09:28,447 --> 00:09:30,213
So for right now,
let's just refer to it as
264
00:09:30,281 --> 00:09:31,347
A possum.
265
00:09:31,415 --> 00:09:32,814
Let me explain
something to you, tweep.
266
00:09:32,882 --> 00:09:35,117
When you're in a situation,
267
00:09:35,185 --> 00:09:37,753
You don't have time to think.
268
00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:41,055
So I thought to myself,
269
00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:43,490
"don't think, andy. Act."
270
00:09:43,558 --> 00:09:45,593
So you weren't thinking.
271
00:09:45,661 --> 00:09:47,528
Not at all.
272
00:09:47,596 --> 00:09:50,431
I cannot emphasize enough
how little I was thinking.
273
00:09:50,499 --> 00:09:51,432
Were you scared?
274
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,568
No, no, I wasn't.
275
00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:55,836
Well, I, uh, I lived in the pit
276
00:09:55,904 --> 00:09:57,504
For the better part of last year
277
00:09:57,572 --> 00:10:01,007
And made some vermin friends.
278
00:10:01,075 --> 00:10:02,709
Um, you know what?
Friends sounds stupid.
279
00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:05,044
Colleagues.
280
00:10:05,111 --> 00:10:08,179
Uh, they are bad at sharing,
281
00:10:08,247 --> 00:10:10,282
But they are good at tag.
282
00:10:10,350 --> 00:10:12,184
Well, your family
must bvery proud.
283
00:10:12,251 --> 00:10:13,818
What does your girlfriend think?
284
00:10:13,886 --> 00:10:14,819
Uh, the nurse?
285
00:10:14,887 --> 00:10:18,156
Uh, I broke up with ann.
286
00:10:18,224 --> 00:10:19,157
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
287
00:10:19,224 --> 00:10:20,425
Shortly after she kicked me out
288
00:10:20,492 --> 00:10:22,626
And told me we wouldn't
be togeer anymore.
289
00:10:22,694 --> 00:10:27,297
Well, maybe this article
will change her mind.
290
00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:28,865
What now?
291
00:10:28,933 --> 00:10:30,334
I hadn't even thought of that.
292
00:10:30,402 --> 00:10:32,302
[chuckles] wow.
293
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:35,772
Of all the things I thought
would bring us back together,
294
00:10:35,839 --> 00:10:39,309
Catching a possum was
never on that list.
295
00:10:41,178 --> 00:10:43,779
Well, let's go take some
pictures of fairway frank.
296
00:10:43,847 --> 00:10:45,781
Of the possum.
297
00:10:47,616 --> 00:10:49,817
Seriously, man,
when you wear these clothes,
298
00:10:49,885 --> 00:10:52,319
You just feel better
than everyone else.
299
00:10:52,387 --> 00:10:54,154
You know? - Yeah.
300
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:55,954
[knocking] busy?
301
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:57,188
No, what's up?
302
00:10:57,255 --> 00:10:58,955
Ju wanted to tell you,
303
00:10:59,022 --> 00:11:01,789
I understand that city codes exist
304
00:11:01,857 --> 00:11:03,991
And I know why they exist.
305
00:11:04,058 --> 00:11:07,059
And I understand that
you enforce them.
306
00:11:07,127 --> 00:11:08,294
Okay.
307
00:11:08,361 --> 00:11:09,528
Okay, good talk.
308
00:11:09,595 --> 00:11:11,162
Can you sign off on my plans now?
309
00:11:11,230 --> 00:11:14,701
Did you get
everything up to code?
310
00:11:20,174 --> 00:11:21,441
- Yup.
- No, you didn't.
311
00:11:21,509 --> 00:11:23,576
You clearly didn't.
312
00:11:23,644 --> 00:11:25,878
It's my property, my land,
313
00:11:25,945 --> 00:11:27,446
My shop!
314
00:11:27,513 --> 00:11:30,248
Ooh, tummy needs a banana,
you guys good?
315
00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:33,384
Ron, you're asking me to
do a bad job, at my job,
316
00:11:33,452 --> 00:11:35,519
And I'm just not gonna do that.
317
00:11:35,586 --> 00:11:36,687
So if you don't mind,
318
00:11:36,754 --> 00:11:40,190
Would you please just
get out of my office?
319
00:11:40,257 --> 00:11:42,658
Ooh, silly me,
there was this little
320
00:11:42,726 --> 00:11:45,394
Pom-pom on my glove
and it fell off.
321
00:11:45,462 --> 00:11:46,497
Have you seen it?
322
00:11:46,564 --> 00:11:47,564
Could you help me look
for it real quick?
323
00:11:47,632 --> 00:11:48,765
It should be on the
ground somewhere
324
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,533
Where I was puttin' it up.
325
00:11:50,601 --> 00:11:52,268
Let's see.
326
00:11:53,304 --> 00:11:54,304
So how's your hole?
327
00:11:54,371 --> 00:11:55,338
Excuse me?
328
00:11:55,406 --> 00:11:56,772
The pit. Lot 48?
329
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,974
Oh, we're making really
good progress on the park.
330
00:11:59,041 --> 00:12:02,010
In fact, there may be some big
news on that front coming soon.
331
00:12:02,078 --> 00:12:06,081
All because of this very
important business card.
332
00:12:06,149 --> 00:12:07,749
So this isn't really
a big story, right?
333
00:12:07,817 --> 00:12:09,450
Nobody cares about this very much.
334
00:12:09,517 --> 00:12:11,318
Well, fairway frank did
bite the mayor's dog,
335
00:12:11,386 --> 00:12:14,053
So this could be on the front page.
336
00:12:14,121 --> 00:12:16,721
♪ fairway frank,
you're gonna die ♪
337
00:12:16,789 --> 00:12:20,358
♪ you're gonna fry, oh, yeah ♪
338
00:12:20,426 --> 00:12:24,129
♪ you guilty son-of-a-bitch ♪
339
00:12:24,197 --> 00:12:28,733
♪ you're gonna fry when
they flip that switch ♪
340
00:12:31,269 --> 00:12:32,269
Hey, April, can I talk to you
341
00:12:32,337 --> 00:12:33,838
About this situation
with the possum?
342
00:12:33,906 --> 00:12:35,139
No.
343
00:12:35,207 --> 00:12:36,741
Okay, hypothetically,
if you were going on a mission
344
00:12:36,808 --> 00:12:39,009
To, say, catch a guilty whale.
345
00:12:39,077 --> 00:12:41,344
And while you were
catching the whale
346
00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:43,980
You saw something else that
may also be another whale,
347
00:12:44,047 --> 00:12:45,281
And you were like, "what?"
348
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:46,482
But then you thought,
maybe it's not a whale?
349
00:12:46,549 --> 00:12:47,850
Maybe it's a big fish.
350
00:12:47,917 --> 00:12:49,284
Maybe it's a submarine
with a face painted on it.
351
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:50,285
The point is,
352
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:51,586
If I kill the first whale,
353
00:12:51,653 --> 00:12:53,187
Am I technically a murderer?
354
00:12:53,255 --> 00:12:54,521
I don't know what
you're talking about.
355
00:12:54,589 --> 00:12:56,789
I saw a second possum.
356
00:12:56,857 --> 00:12:58,990
There was another possum.
357
00:12:59,058 --> 00:13:01,561
Wait, andy's in there
talking to a reporter,
358
00:13:01,629 --> 00:13:03,930
Literally kissing his own biceps.
359
00:13:03,997 --> 00:13:04,964
You're telling me he
might not be a hero,
360
00:13:05,031 --> 00:13:06,098
But just some jerk
361
00:13:06,166 --> 00:13:08,967
That goes around
tackling random possums?
362
00:13:09,035 --> 00:13:10,535
No, I've gotta help
leslie find the truth.
363
00:13:10,603 --> 00:13:13,271
Not because I'm pissed at andy,
which I'm not.
364
00:13:13,338 --> 00:13:17,641
Because I care so
deeply about possums.
365
00:13:19,277 --> 00:13:21,011
'cause they're so adorable.
366
00:13:21,079 --> 00:13:25,281
April, did you
see my photo shoot?
367
00:13:25,349 --> 00:13:26,682
I think I nailed it.
368
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:28,951
I fell off the stool once when
I was trying to look serious.
369
00:13:29,019 --> 00:13:30,687
But I'm okay.
370
00:13:30,755 --> 00:13:33,189
That's cool, um,
I'm really happy for you.
371
00:13:33,257 --> 00:13:36,758
You are?
372
00:13:36,826 --> 00:13:39,494
Man, our happy reactions
are super different.
373
00:13:39,562 --> 00:13:41,897
So, uh, he said he's gonna email me
374
00:13:41,965 --> 00:13:43,231
The photos in, like, six hours.
375
00:13:43,299 --> 00:13:44,699
You wanna wait with me?
376
00:13:44,767 --> 00:13:46,434
Um, yeah, that sounds good,
377
00:13:46,502 --> 00:13:48,169
But I can't because I have to go
378
00:13:48,236 --> 00:13:49,870
Do something that actually matters.
379
00:13:54,109 --> 00:13:55,376
Fairway frank's been haunting
380
00:13:55,444 --> 00:13:56,710
The sixth hole for a while now.
381
00:13:56,777 --> 00:13:57,710
You must know him pretty well.
382
00:13:57,778 --> 00:13:59,412
I sure do.
383
00:13:59,479 --> 00:14:00,646
I've chased that little sucker off
384
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:03,515
More times than I can count.
385
00:14:03,583 --> 00:14:05,250
Can you just take a
look at these photos
386
00:14:05,318 --> 00:14:07,952
And make sure that
it's fairway frank?
387
00:14:08,020 --> 00:14:10,754
Yup, that's him.
388
00:14:10,822 --> 00:14:12,922
Mr. Campopiano, those are photos
389
00:14:12,990 --> 00:14:15,824
Of three different possums.
390
00:14:15,891 --> 00:14:17,525
Huh.
391
00:14:17,593 --> 00:14:20,894
You guys want something to drink?
392
00:14:20,962 --> 00:14:22,229
Hey, boss, there's a possum
393
00:14:22,297 --> 00:14:23,997
Wandering around on the 14th green.
394
00:14:24,065 --> 00:14:25,632
Should I call animal control again?
395
00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:27,967
Yup.
396
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:31,070
Oh, my god, those idiots
are here from animal control.
397
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,204
They're gonna take it away.
398
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:33,605
Okay, we need a
little bit more time
399
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:34,640
To figure out the truth.
400
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:35,674
Look, I have an idea.
401
00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:36,908
I'm gonna distract everybody,
402
00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:38,275
And then you get that
possum out of here.
403
00:14:38,343 --> 00:14:39,309
Can you do that, April?
404
00:14:39,377 --> 00:14:40,310
April, can you do that?
405
00:14:40,378 --> 00:14:41,344
Can you get the possum out of here?
406
00:14:41,412 --> 00:14:42,779
Can you sneak it out of here?
407
00:14:42,847 --> 00:14:43,914
April, can you do it?
Can you do it?
408
00:14:43,981 --> 00:14:44,981
Please, April,
tell me you can do this.
409
00:14:45,049 --> 00:14:47,384
Yes, yes, I can do it. God.
410
00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,352
I can't kill the possum
because it might be innocent.
411
00:14:49,419 --> 00:14:52,220
I can't let the possum go
because it might be guilty.
412
00:14:52,288 --> 00:14:54,556
Can't make a good soup,
can't do a handstand in a pool,
413
00:14:54,623 --> 00:14:56,991
Can't spell the word "lieutenant."
414
00:14:57,059 --> 00:14:59,027
There's a lot of "can'ts"
in my life right now.
415
00:14:59,094 --> 00:15:01,128
Let's make it happen, captain.
416
00:15:01,196 --> 00:15:04,632
[harris and brett
chatter indistinctly]
417
00:15:07,669 --> 00:15:10,104
Help, help, my arm
looks like it's bleeding.
418
00:15:10,172 --> 00:15:11,472
Holy cow--leslie!
419
00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:12,640
Oh, boy, oh,
look how much it's bleeding.
420
00:15:12,708 --> 00:15:13,774
Everybody look at it.
421
00:15:13,842 --> 00:15:15,542
Everybody look over here.
422
00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:17,277
I need everyone's full
attention during this--
423
00:15:17,345 --> 00:15:18,278
There's a lot of blood.
424
00:15:18,346 --> 00:15:19,279
It is, it's so--
425
00:15:19,347 --> 00:15:20,780
It's ketchup.
426
00:15:20,848 --> 00:15:22,982
Is it?
427
00:15:23,049 --> 00:15:24,016
Yes.
428
00:15:24,083 --> 00:15:25,750
- Jerry, jerry.
- It's ketchup.
429
00:15:33,521 --> 00:15:35,889
Do you know them?
430
00:15:35,957 --> 00:15:38,592
What do you mean,
that fairway frank is not here?
431
00:15:38,659 --> 00:15:40,059
Here's the thing, evelyn.
432
00:15:40,127 --> 00:15:41,928
We're not sure that the possum
433
00:15:41,996 --> 00:15:44,163
We caught is, in fact,
fairway frank.
434
00:15:44,231 --> 00:15:47,431
Leslie, whoever it is,
it's a possum.
435
00:15:47,499 --> 00:15:49,567
And the sooner it's dead,
the sooner the mayor
436
00:15:49,634 --> 00:15:52,368
Can do what he wants with it.
437
00:15:52,436 --> 00:15:55,070
Does he want to have
sex with a dead possum?
438
00:15:55,138 --> 00:15:56,638
- No!
- No.
439
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,207
He's not a monster.
440
00:15:58,275 --> 00:16:01,143
He wants to stuff it and
hang it above the urinal
441
00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:03,378
In his office bathroom so
that little flecks of pee
442
00:16:03,446 --> 00:16:05,580
Can get on it forever.
443
00:16:05,647 --> 00:16:06,781
Eww.
444
00:16:06,849 --> 00:16:09,750
Now, leslie, you did a great job.
445
00:16:09,818 --> 00:16:13,153
And the mayor knows that
you did a great job.
446
00:16:13,221 --> 00:16:14,822
Now where is the possum?
447
00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:18,692
I'm sorry but he's somewhere.
You'll never find it.
448
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,961
And he's gonna stay there
until the truth comes out.
449
00:16:21,028 --> 00:16:22,963
And I will not reveal his location,
450
00:16:23,030 --> 00:16:24,464
No matter how much you ask me.
451
00:16:24,531 --> 00:16:25,898
But I'm gonna stop talking
now 'cause I'm afraid
452
00:16:25,966 --> 00:16:27,099
I may accidentally say where it is.
453
00:16:27,167 --> 00:16:29,435
So please go.
454
00:16:33,980 --> 00:16:34,613
This is interesting.
455
00:16:34,681 --> 00:16:36,582
They put down a raccoon
456
00:16:36,649 --> 00:16:39,584
That bit a jogger in a
park in staten island.
457
00:16:39,652 --> 00:16:40,852
Wow.
458
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,387
And in walnut creek, california,
459
00:16:42,455 --> 00:16:44,622
They put down a
duck that bit a kid.
460
00:16:44,690 --> 00:16:47,291
But security footage later revealed
461
00:16:47,359 --> 00:16:50,295
That it was actually a goose.
462
00:16:50,362 --> 00:16:52,597
- That's great.
- No, it's awful, tom.
463
00:16:52,664 --> 00:16:54,699
How would you feel if you
killed an innocent duck
464
00:16:54,766 --> 00:16:57,201
And let a vicious
goose waddle free?
465
00:16:57,268 --> 00:16:58,635
[phone ringing]
466
00:16:58,703 --> 00:17:00,437
- Tom haverford.
- Tom, it's April.
467
00:17:00,504 --> 00:17:02,471
I'm at ann's house and
the possum's loose, okay?
468
00:17:02,539 --> 00:17:03,672
I need your help.
469
00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:04,773
Oh, my god, it's
chewing on everything!
470
00:17:04,841 --> 00:17:05,807
Don't tell leslie!
471
00:17:05,875 --> 00:17:08,343
You got it.
472
00:17:08,411 --> 00:17:10,211
Possum got loose at ann's house.
473
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,579
Oh, my god.
474
00:17:11,647 --> 00:17:13,849
April! April, it's leslie knope
475
00:17:13,917 --> 00:17:15,218
From the parks department!
476
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:16,918
Stop ringing the doorbell.
It's making him mad!
477
00:17:16,986 --> 00:17:18,386
[knocking]
478
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:19,487
Oh!
479
00:17:19,555 --> 00:17:21,356
Oh, my god, how did this happen?
480
00:17:21,424 --> 00:17:23,525
I let it out of its cage
because it needed water
481
00:17:23,592 --> 00:17:25,193
And I thought it would just
drink out of the toilet
482
00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:26,360
Or something, but then it ran off
483
00:17:26,428 --> 00:17:28,995
And I couldn't get it back in.
484
00:17:29,063 --> 00:17:30,729
He did that too.
485
00:17:30,797 --> 00:17:31,763
Oh...Oh boy.
486
00:17:31,831 --> 00:17:32,964
Yeah, and then I
opened all the doors
487
00:17:33,031 --> 00:17:34,564
'cause I thought it
would just go outside,
488
00:17:34,632 --> 00:17:35,865
But it won't leave the house.
489
00:17:35,933 --> 00:17:37,599
It must love tacky
pictures of flowers.
490
00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:38,900
Okay, okay, okay,
I'm gonna fix this.
491
00:17:38,968 --> 00:17:40,902
Um, let me just think for a second.
492
00:17:40,970 --> 00:17:42,602
- Uh-oh.
- What?
493
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:43,602
Where is it? I can't see it!
494
00:17:43,670 --> 00:17:44,803
No! Okay, where did it go?
495
00:17:44,870 --> 00:17:46,604
- I don't know!
- Um, here's what we do.
496
00:17:46,672 --> 00:17:47,671
We just go outside, all right?
497
00:17:47,739 --> 00:17:48,672
Let's just go outside--
498
00:17:48,740 --> 00:17:51,975
[screaming] - get in here!
499
00:17:55,747 --> 00:17:59,617
[lengthy groan]
500
00:17:59,684 --> 00:18:00,952
[knock on door]
501
00:18:01,019 --> 00:18:03,987
I haven't even started yet.
502
00:18:04,055 --> 00:18:05,155
I know.
503
00:18:05,222 --> 00:18:07,823
I thought you could use some help.
504
00:18:07,891 --> 00:18:09,558
Those city planning guys can
be real pains in the ass.
505
00:18:09,625 --> 00:18:11,659
You know what I'm sayin'?
506
00:18:11,727 --> 00:18:13,394
Okay.
507
00:18:13,461 --> 00:18:14,928
I just want you to know
508
00:18:14,996 --> 00:18:16,729
That I still don't
think city codes--
509
00:18:16,797 --> 00:18:19,765
Ron, shut up, would you please?
510
00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:22,468
I'm taking a half day off
to come and help you out
511
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:24,169
Because you're my friend.
512
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:27,172
So just shut up.
513
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:31,109
No, I'm bringing my workshop
up to the swanson code.
514
00:18:31,176 --> 00:18:34,211
And if the swanson
code happens to overlap
515
00:18:34,278 --> 00:18:36,746
With the city government code--
516
00:18:36,814 --> 00:18:39,348
Shut up!
517
00:18:39,416 --> 00:18:42,051
I know there's a door there,
but I kind of feel like
518
00:18:42,118 --> 00:18:43,419
It's gonna chew through the door
519
00:18:43,487 --> 00:18:45,054
And come and jump on
my face and bite me.
520
00:18:45,121 --> 00:18:46,755
- Eww, I know.
- What if it's in here?
521
00:18:46,823 --> 00:18:47,856
What if it laid eggs in the bed?
522
00:18:47,924 --> 00:18:49,324
[both scream]
523
00:18:49,391 --> 00:18:50,358
Okay, there are no eggs.
524
00:18:50,426 --> 00:18:51,659
We should have killed it,
525
00:18:51,727 --> 00:18:53,094
It's so huge. I'm gonna call andy.
526
00:18:53,162 --> 00:18:54,328
- No.
- Yeah.
527
00:18:54,396 --> 00:18:55,530
He tackled it once before.
528
00:18:55,597 --> 00:18:56,530
He can do it again.
529
00:18:56,598 --> 00:18:57,565
No, please don't, okay?
530
00:18:57,632 --> 00:18:58,899
He's gonna be pissed at me.
531
00:18:58,967 --> 00:19:01,302
I already ruined his big day,
and it's my fault
532
00:19:01,369 --> 00:19:03,036
That it's in ann's house,
who he's obviously
533
00:19:03,104 --> 00:19:04,803
Still in love with.
534
00:19:04,871 --> 00:19:06,004
I just--
535
00:19:06,072 --> 00:19:11,207
I don't want him to
be mad at me, okay?
536
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:15,211
Oh, April. He'll forgive you.
537
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:16,546
You think so?
538
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,448
Yeah. I--
539
00:19:18,516 --> 00:19:20,083
We don't have to call andy.
540
00:19:20,151 --> 00:19:21,951
We can just call animal control.
541
00:19:22,019 --> 00:19:24,654
Okay.
542
00:19:24,722 --> 00:19:27,723
And, April, anytime you
want to talk about boys--
543
00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:30,825
Oh my god, stop. [both scream]
544
00:19:44,268 --> 00:19:47,637
[phone ringing]
545
00:19:50,006 --> 00:19:51,607
Yo.
546
00:19:51,674 --> 00:19:53,274
So I feel like you were
mad at me yesterday,
547
00:19:53,342 --> 00:19:54,442
And I don't know why.
548
00:19:54,510 --> 00:19:56,611
So I made a list
of everything I did
549
00:19:56,679 --> 00:19:59,013
And I'm gonna try not
to do any of them again.
550
00:19:59,081 --> 00:20:04,049
Also, I got you this coffee.
551
00:20:04,117 --> 00:20:05,617
And then there's this.
552
00:20:05,684 --> 00:20:07,118
Fourth paragraph down.
553
00:20:07,185 --> 00:20:09,119
"but dwyer had some help
catching the possum.
554
00:20:09,187 --> 00:20:11,154
"'I wouldn't have been able to
do it without an early morning
555
00:20:11,221 --> 00:20:13,388
"'caffeine boost from the
amazing April ludgate.
556
00:20:13,455 --> 00:20:15,422
"'she gave me the
liquid courage I needed
557
00:20:15,490 --> 00:20:19,058
To wrestle that beast
to the ground.'"
558
00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:20,927
Well, ms. Knope, I have to say
559
00:20:20,994 --> 00:20:22,462
I'm very disappointed.
560
00:20:22,530 --> 00:20:24,031
You didn't have to say that.
561
00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:25,099
You could have just thought it.
562
00:20:25,167 --> 00:20:27,868
What'd you do with
the possum exactly?
563
00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:30,438
Well, I'm proud to
say that it's somewhere
564
00:20:30,506 --> 00:20:32,640
The mayor can never pee on it.
565
00:20:32,708 --> 00:20:34,208
It's okay, honestly.
566
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:36,510
I mean, look, when I retire,
567
00:20:36,578 --> 00:20:38,979
And I'm attending some gala
568
00:20:39,047 --> 00:20:42,015
Honoring the first three
female presidents in history--
569
00:20:42,082 --> 00:20:45,251
Myself, and two other
women I've inspired--
570
00:20:45,319 --> 00:20:47,686
I wanna be looking back at
my distinguished legacy,
571
00:20:47,754 --> 00:20:51,422
And not thinking that I owe
my career to some possum.
572
00:20:51,490 --> 00:20:53,857
And I wanna be wearing a huge,
beautiful blue hat.
573
00:20:55,164 --> 00:20:56,831
- Thank you so much.
- Sure.
574
00:20:57,539 --> 00:20:59,106
It made me feel so happy
that I knew somebody was here
575
00:20:59,174 --> 00:21:00,508
Taking care of my house.
576
00:21:00,575 --> 00:21:01,676
Cool.
577
00:21:01,743 --> 00:21:02,944
So did the neighbors
give you any problems?
578
00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:04,312
- No.
- Anything in--
579
00:21:04,380 --> 00:21:06,114
Possum. There was a possum.
580
00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:08,016
We captured a possum and we
brought it into your house
581
00:21:08,083 --> 00:21:10,083
And it got out and it might
have laid eggs in your bed.
582
00:21:10,150 --> 00:21:11,483
What?
583
00:21:11,551 --> 00:21:12,951
And it went into your
laundry and your kitchen
584
00:21:13,019 --> 00:21:14,686
And it touched all your bras,
and I'm so sorry.
585
00:21:14,754 --> 00:21:16,387
It's our fault, we captured it,
and it got out
586
00:21:16,455 --> 00:21:17,889
And it ran around
and it was a possum.
587
00:21:17,956 --> 00:21:19,189
Okay, April-- run! Run, April!
588
00:21:19,257 --> 00:21:20,991
Sorry, ann! I love you!
589
00:21:20,992 --> 00:21:22,242
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
590
00:21:22,259 --> 00:21:24,060
I'm gonna go.
591
00:21:24,127 --> 00:21:25,895
I think that would be best.