1
00:00:02,103 --> 00:00:03,092
Good morning.
2
00:00:03,371 --> 00:00:06,863
Whoo! Swiss Family Ron-binson!
That hat is dope.
3
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:08,332
Thanks, Tom.
4
00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,400
You mind if I rock that
bad Larry on my dome?
5
00:00:11,546 --> 00:00:13,741
Wear it on my head?
Try it on the ladies?
6
00:00:15,817 --> 00:00:16,841
Be my guest.
7
00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:20,382
Hi, I'm Tom.
I have a raccoon on my head.
8
00:00:22,724 --> 00:00:25,090
Excuse me? My friend over here
was digging through your trash
9
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,525
and I think we may have a
lot in common. I'm Tom.
10
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:29,085
Would you like to
see a movie sometime?
11
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:30,323
Are you a raccoon?
12
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:34,059
Because you've been running
around my hat all day...
13
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,602
Head all day.
14
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:38,297
Girl, you're more
precious than Precious.
15
00:00:38,740 --> 00:00:40,071
Uh-uh.
16
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,936
"Nice hat. Wanna bone?"
That's you, talking to me.
17
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:50,680
No. How about, "Yes, I am a
hunter, and it's you season."
18
00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:54,449
Whoa, that's great.
I gotta get back out there.
19
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:58,456
You know what they say, animal
on the head, manimal in the bed.
20
00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:00,618
Damn, girl!
Your hotness killed my raccoon!
21
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,958
I have a raccoon hat.
I'm an interesting person.
22
00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:04,390
Hello!
23
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:07,722
Any luck?
24
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:08,790
Nope.
25
00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,769
Didn't work out as well
as I thought it would.
26
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:12,771
Well, better luck next time.
27
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,639
I tried.
It just didn't seem like...
28
00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,232
Wow. I love that hat.
29
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:17,799
Thank you, ma'am.
30
00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:43,526
Hey, Ron.
I have a surprise for you.
31
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,366
Meet me at Harvey
James Park at 11:30.
32
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:47,305
Why?
It's a surprise!
33
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:48,463
What's the surprise?
34
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:50,032
If I told you,
it would ruin the surprise.
35
00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:51,369
What's the surprise
it would ruin?
36
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,503
I cannot tell you that.
37
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:56,308
Leslie, my first wife, Tammy, tried
throwing me a surprise birthday party.
38
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:58,374
When I saw my friends
hiding through the window,
39
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,386
I drove to a gas station,
called the cops
40
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,217
and told them people
had broken into my home.
41
00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:04,747
I'm not big on surprises.
42
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,315
Okay, but you're
gonna like this one.
43
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:08,054
What is it?
I'm not telling you.
44
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,493
And I'm not gonna
tell anybody!
45
00:02:11,997 --> 00:02:13,123
Okay. I'll tell you.
46
00:02:13,432 --> 00:02:16,060
We're putting together the Parks
Department Summer Catalog.
47
00:02:16,502 --> 00:02:19,835
And the big surprise
is I am going to reunite
48
00:02:19,905 --> 00:02:23,102
all the living former
Parks Directors at a picnic,
49
00:02:23,442 --> 00:02:24,704
record the whole thing,
50
00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:26,506
and then write about it in
the "Welcome Letter."
51
00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:29,508
It's the biggest
catalog of the year.
52
00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:32,244
Think of the
September issue of Vogue.
53
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:33,910
But it's more
important to Pawnee.
54
00:02:33,986 --> 00:02:35,647
Mainly because we
don't get Vogue here.
55
00:02:36,355 --> 00:02:39,620
I'm gonna move this "Yearning"
ad to the centerfold.
56
00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:42,786
Centerfold, always the best part.
Am I right, Justin?
57
00:02:44,029 --> 00:02:46,020
Damn, they broke up six weeks ago.
Yeah.
58
00:02:46,098 --> 00:02:47,998
Jerry, I need to see
your softball pictures.
59
00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:49,193
Here you go, Chief.
60
00:02:49,668 --> 00:02:51,260
Wow, good job. Nice work.
Whoa!
61
00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:53,931
Wait a minute.
Isn't that that creepy guy?
62
00:02:54,039 --> 00:02:55,529
Morgan? The pedophile?
63
00:02:56,642 --> 00:02:58,507
Yeah, it is.
Oh, my God.
64
00:02:58,577 --> 00:02:59,566
Oh, Jerry!
65
00:02:59,645 --> 00:03:00,634
Come on!
I didn't know that!
66
00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:02,874
He seemed okay.
67
00:03:03,282 --> 00:03:04,442
We had dinner together.
68
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:05,643
Guys, I don't know
if I made it clear,
69
00:03:05,718 --> 00:03:08,551
but I don't want any sex
offenders in our Parks catalog.
70
00:03:08,621 --> 00:03:10,521
Okay, I will
Photoshop his face.
71
00:03:10,589 --> 00:03:12,648
Can you Photoshop your life
with better decisions, Jerry?
72
00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:14,283
Okay, April. Enough.
73
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,884
Cover photo.
Tom, you're up.
74
00:03:15,961 --> 00:03:19,021
This catalog is basically, like,
an ad for the Parks Department,
75
00:03:19,098 --> 00:03:21,089
and I love ads.
76
00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:23,727
I love magazine ads
for flavored vodkas,
77
00:03:23,802 --> 00:03:25,736
billboards for
designer jeans.
78
00:03:25,804 --> 00:03:27,897
I TiVo through shows
to get to the ads.
79
00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:30,037
I love ads.
80
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:32,742
What are we trying to
do with this catalog?
81
00:03:32,811 --> 00:03:35,371
We're trying to sell Pawnee
on our summer classes.
82
00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:39,808
How do we do that?
With one perfect, captivating image.
83
00:03:40,084 --> 00:03:41,073
April?
84
00:03:41,619 --> 00:03:43,917
Modern life.
Where are we running?
85
00:03:43,988 --> 00:03:47,253
Sometimes, what we want
is not always where we are.
86
00:03:48,126 --> 00:03:49,150
Next slide.
87
00:03:49,661 --> 00:03:50,855
Are we alone?
88
00:03:50,929 --> 00:03:53,420
Is the real winter
inside our hearts?
89
00:03:53,665 --> 00:03:55,963
We are all struggling
for definition
90
00:03:56,034 --> 00:03:57,763
in a world that
resists our inquiries.
91
00:03:57,835 --> 00:03:59,598
Okay, this isn't gonna work
for a number of reasons.
92
00:03:59,671 --> 00:04:01,366
One, this is
a summer catalog.
93
00:04:01,439 --> 00:04:03,066
Two, that was
complete gibberish.
94
00:04:03,141 --> 00:04:05,473
And three, that child
looks like it's abandoned.
95
00:04:05,543 --> 00:04:08,239
So, basically, boo.
96
00:04:08,713 --> 00:04:09,737
Next slide.
97
00:04:11,216 --> 00:04:13,650
Oh, God. Weird.
How did that...
98
00:04:15,853 --> 00:04:18,879
That's a personal photo. That's...
Shouldn't be... This must've...
99
00:04:19,924 --> 00:04:21,482
You know, I gotta say,
100
00:04:21,559 --> 00:04:23,390
I think that could actually
work as our cover photo.
101
00:04:23,461 --> 00:04:25,622
I'm cool with it, if you guys are.
It's a high-res photo.
102
00:04:25,697 --> 00:04:27,164
I don't know if I have
time for this, guys,
103
00:04:27,232 --> 00:04:28,893
so, let's just pick
a good photo, okay?
104
00:04:28,967 --> 00:04:31,629
What do you want, Leslie?
A picture of parents pushing a kid on a swing?
105
00:04:31,703 --> 00:04:33,330
Yeah. Exactly.
Get me that.
106
00:04:34,472 --> 00:04:35,700
Okay. I gotta go.
107
00:04:38,443 --> 00:04:39,876
What is he thinking?
108
00:04:40,345 --> 00:04:42,313
"Why is my cup so tiny?"
109
00:04:45,516 --> 00:04:48,451
Hey. What are you
doing here?
110
00:04:48,519 --> 00:04:51,613
Happy six-month anniversary.
I got you a gift.
111
00:04:52,123 --> 00:04:53,249
It's a chicken
salad sandwich.
112
00:04:53,324 --> 00:04:55,189
And I don't want
you to feel bad
113
00:04:55,260 --> 00:04:57,490
about not getting me anything,
because I would never expect...
114
00:04:57,562 --> 00:04:59,029
Swiss Army Watch, mofo.
115
00:04:59,731 --> 00:05:02,824
Well done.
Perkins. Wow!
116
00:05:02,899 --> 00:05:03,957
You like it?
117
00:05:04,034 --> 00:05:05,934
Thank you so much.
That's so nice.
118
00:05:07,537 --> 00:05:10,301
Are you allowed
to kiss me in a hospital room?
119
00:05:10,374 --> 00:05:12,069
Oh, don't worry about it.
He's dead.
120
00:05:12,142 --> 00:05:13,200
Oh, my God.
121
00:05:13,277 --> 00:05:15,108
Oh, no, I'm just kidding,
he's sleeping.
122
00:05:15,178 --> 00:05:16,645
Oh, okay.
123
00:05:16,713 --> 00:05:19,204
Yeah, our relationship
is going well. Really well.
124
00:05:20,817 --> 00:05:22,682
That guy really
seemed dead.
125
00:05:25,489 --> 00:05:27,150
Nice!
126
00:05:27,491 --> 00:05:28,480
Here, catch this.
127
00:05:31,161 --> 00:05:33,061
You got me in the face! Oh!
128
00:05:33,263 --> 00:05:35,356
That one hurt.
You've a good arm.
129
00:05:35,432 --> 00:05:36,797
I know. I used to play
softball in high school.
130
00:05:37,301 --> 00:05:38,962
Shut up! I played
baseball in high school.
131
00:05:39,036 --> 00:05:41,630
Shut up! Yeah, that's like,
the boy version of softball.
132
00:05:41,705 --> 00:05:44,572
Guys, don't play with the food, okay?
We need this for the picnic.
133
00:05:44,641 --> 00:05:46,199
Do we have everything?
Yes, ma'am.
134
00:05:46,276 --> 00:05:48,369
Three picnic baskets, assorted
cheeses, grapes, wine.
135
00:05:48,445 --> 00:05:49,537
Smoked salmon?
136
00:05:51,014 --> 00:05:52,572
April threw the smoked
salmon on the roof.
137
00:05:54,217 --> 00:05:55,241
I'm sorry.
138
00:05:55,752 --> 00:05:58,312
Where's Leslie?
She just texted me from your phone
139
00:05:58,388 --> 00:05:59,855
and said she left
her phone at home
140
00:05:59,923 --> 00:06:01,515
and that I should
come here immediately.
141
00:06:01,591 --> 00:06:02,956
And why did I believe that?
142
00:06:03,527 --> 00:06:06,621
Maybe in your heart you knew it
was from me, but you came anyway.
143
00:06:06,897 --> 00:06:08,057
Nope.
144
00:06:08,131 --> 00:06:10,065
Tom, would you please
stop texting me
145
00:06:10,133 --> 00:06:11,600
that you're having
a city planning emergency?
146
00:06:11,668 --> 00:06:13,568
There's no such thing
as a city planning emergency.
147
00:06:13,637 --> 00:06:14,661
Hi, there.
Hi.
148
00:06:14,738 --> 00:06:15,796
Look at you two.
149
00:06:16,306 --> 00:06:19,867
Ann Perkins, Mark Brendanawicz.
"Anndanawicz."
150
00:06:20,344 --> 00:06:23,211
Or "Merkins."
No, "Anndanawicz."
151
00:06:23,613 --> 00:06:24,944
You two should be models.
152
00:06:25,015 --> 00:06:28,472
Maybe on the cover of the Parks
Department Summer Catalog?
153
00:06:29,285 --> 00:06:31,412
That's not the reason
you called me in here, right?
154
00:06:31,487 --> 00:06:33,717
'Cause I just finished a 12-hour shift.
If that's the reason...
155
00:06:33,789 --> 00:06:35,313
Come on, Ann.
It'd be a huge favor for Leslie.
156
00:06:35,391 --> 00:06:36,858
You know how important
this is to her.
157
00:06:36,926 --> 00:06:38,791
Well, I am in.
Dude!
158
00:06:38,894 --> 00:06:39,918
I am.
159
00:06:39,995 --> 00:06:43,226
We don't have any pictures
of just the two of us.
160
00:06:43,933 --> 00:06:47,027
Plus, I've always said we should
go on more dates with Tom.
161
00:06:47,103 --> 00:06:48,229
Yeah, you have.
162
00:06:48,304 --> 00:06:50,864
And thank God an opportunity
presented itself.
163
00:06:50,940 --> 00:06:51,964
See? Win-win.
164
00:06:52,041 --> 00:06:53,474
Now, Ann, you're
gonna change, right?
165
00:06:53,542 --> 00:06:54,804
I guess.
166
00:06:54,877 --> 00:06:55,969
Would it kill you to maybe
put on some lipstick?
167
00:06:56,045 --> 00:06:57,103
Do you even own lipstick?
168
00:06:58,347 --> 00:07:01,510
This is probably the first time
in history these four great men
169
00:07:01,584 --> 00:07:03,848
have been in the same
place at the same time.
170
00:07:03,919 --> 00:07:05,250
It kind of makes you...
171
00:07:06,822 --> 00:07:07,880
What is this?
172
00:07:07,990 --> 00:07:09,981
Sweater swap!
She noticed!
173
00:07:10,059 --> 00:07:11,321
You were right. Oh, my God.
Somebody's here.
174
00:07:11,394 --> 00:07:12,656
Okay. Guys,
just act normal.
175
00:07:12,728 --> 00:07:14,218
Please? Just be like
normal people.
176
00:07:14,296 --> 00:07:17,732
Hello! Hi! David Moser!
I'm Leslie Knope.
177
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,495
It is such an honor
to meet you.
178
00:07:19,568 --> 00:07:20,626
Right.
179
00:07:20,703 --> 00:07:22,193
How long is this
gonna take?
180
00:07:22,271 --> 00:07:25,798
Oh, not very long. I realize, of
course, you're a very busy man.
181
00:07:25,875 --> 00:07:27,103
I love parks.
182
00:07:27,176 --> 00:07:29,144
I don't know if that's something
I've communicated before.
183
00:07:29,545 --> 00:07:30,637
So, having a picnic
184
00:07:30,713 --> 00:07:33,876
with all the former living
Parks Department Directors...
185
00:07:34,683 --> 00:07:36,548
Guess who just checked
something off her bucket list?
186
00:07:37,086 --> 00:07:39,418
Clarence Carrington,
David Moser,
187
00:07:39,588 --> 00:07:41,556
Michael Tansley,
Ron Swanson,
188
00:07:41,624 --> 00:07:45,025
gathered together on a beautiful
day in this beautiful park.
189
00:07:45,494 --> 00:07:47,018
I think we should
just take a moment
190
00:07:47,096 --> 00:07:48,586
and appreciate
how lucky we are.
191
00:07:49,398 --> 00:07:51,263
I thought you
were dead, Clarence.
192
00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:53,960
No. I'm gonna outlive you,
then I'm gonna nail your wife.
193
00:07:54,035 --> 00:07:55,468
Screw you,
you old coot.
194
00:07:55,537 --> 00:07:57,402
Classic David.
You're worse than Ron.
195
00:07:57,472 --> 00:07:59,099
Shut your damn mouth,
Tansley.
196
00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:00,971
Okay! Great! Let's go!
197
00:08:02,377 --> 00:08:05,107
When I say "parks,"
you say "department!" Parks!
198
00:08:06,147 --> 00:08:07,171
Parks!
199
00:08:07,248 --> 00:08:08,237
Apartment!
200
00:08:10,985 --> 00:08:13,715
Oh, boy. This is taking a lot
longer than I thought it would.
201
00:08:13,788 --> 00:08:15,346
Can you guys run up ahead
and set up the picnic?
202
00:08:15,423 --> 00:08:16,617
Sure.
203
00:08:17,725 --> 00:08:19,716
Oh. Where are they
going with the food?
204
00:08:19,794 --> 00:08:21,694
I'm starving.
I only had one breakfast.
205
00:08:21,763 --> 00:08:22,957
Okay, relax.
206
00:08:23,031 --> 00:08:26,000
Look, what was going on back there?
Why all the sniping?
207
00:08:26,067 --> 00:08:27,125
Not exactly sure.
208
00:08:27,202 --> 00:08:28,464
The only one I know
is Michael,
209
00:08:28,536 --> 00:08:30,561
and we're not exactly best friends.
Hmm.
210
00:08:30,638 --> 00:08:32,003
I'm hungry.
211
00:08:32,273 --> 00:08:33,865
Okay, well,
don't be such a baby.
212
00:08:33,942 --> 00:08:36,274
I cooked you some bacon
for a trail snack.
213
00:08:36,344 --> 00:08:38,141
I ate it already.
What?
214
00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:40,647
I could smell it in your purse
before I even parked my car.
215
00:08:41,015 --> 00:08:43,279
And now it's gone.
And I hate everything.
216
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,055
Good, good, good.
All right.
217
00:08:49,491 --> 00:08:52,358
I think we got the boring clichéd
shot that Leslie wanted.
218
00:08:52,427 --> 00:08:53,655
That's it?
We're done?
219
00:08:53,728 --> 00:08:55,161
Not even close.
220
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:57,221
Now the real art begins.
221
00:08:58,433 --> 00:08:59,695
Step one,
222
00:08:59,767 --> 00:09:02,531
nail this photo shoot with
an amazing, iconic image.
223
00:09:02,604 --> 00:09:05,004
Step two,
book some outside gigs.
224
00:09:05,073 --> 00:09:07,371
Step three,
have sex with a model.
225
00:09:07,442 --> 00:09:10,343
Step four, step in front of
the camera, become a model.
226
00:09:13,081 --> 00:09:15,072
Go, yes! Keep slithering!
Keep slithering!
227
00:09:16,718 --> 00:09:19,447
Ann, can you give me something,
anything, in the face?
228
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:20,817
What do you
want me to do?
229
00:09:20,888 --> 00:09:22,651
Do what Mark's doing.
He's doing great!
230
00:09:22,723 --> 00:09:23,849
Keep slithering!
231
00:09:23,924 --> 00:09:25,619
I'm not doing anything, so...
232
00:09:27,194 --> 00:09:29,492
Okay, Clarence, um,
why don't you describe
233
00:09:29,563 --> 00:09:31,827
the first Summer
Pawnee Catalog.
234
00:09:32,666 --> 00:09:36,693
I remember. That first year
we offered four classes.
235
00:09:36,770 --> 00:09:38,533
I actually taught
Homemaking.
236
00:09:39,072 --> 00:09:41,267
Women were not allowed
to teach back then.
237
00:09:41,875 --> 00:09:44,343
Really? I thought there were
female teachers way before then.
238
00:09:44,411 --> 00:09:46,038
Not in my department.
239
00:09:47,981 --> 00:09:50,006
Well, times have changed.
240
00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:51,448
I'm Deputy Director now,
241
00:09:51,518 --> 00:09:54,646
but I'm hoping someday to be the first
female director of the department.
242
00:09:54,755 --> 00:09:56,723
Oh, I don't think
that's a good idea.
243
00:09:56,790 --> 00:10:02,751
Women need a lot of blood to flow
through to their baby centers,
244
00:10:03,564 --> 00:10:06,328
which leaves less to
the brain, you see.
245
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,129
Yeah. Mmm-hmm. Sure.
246
00:10:08,201 --> 00:10:12,365
I'd stay away from leadership
roles, for your own safety.
247
00:10:14,575 --> 00:10:15,940
No! No!
248
00:10:17,477 --> 00:10:19,001
Maybe I should write
a song about a picnic.
249
00:10:19,079 --> 00:10:21,343
Ooh, where'd you come
up with that idea?
250
00:10:21,949 --> 00:10:23,109
The picnic we're having.
251
00:10:23,183 --> 00:10:26,675
I already have the perfect title,
Life is a Picnic.
252
00:10:27,287 --> 00:10:32,122
That's good. How about
Life is a Picnic with You?
253
00:10:32,392 --> 00:10:35,987
Whoa! Then it could be about a girl.
Or Peyton Manning!
254
00:10:37,431 --> 00:10:39,228
Hmm. You wanna help me
write the lyrics?
255
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,458
Yeah, totally.
256
00:10:41,735 --> 00:10:43,396
We should grab a drink
after this at Tucker's.
257
00:10:45,371 --> 00:10:47,430
Yeah, I would do that.
That sounds fun.
258
00:10:47,506 --> 00:10:50,236
I just have to get my
stuff from the office.
259
00:10:50,743 --> 00:10:53,007
But that's...
That'd be cool.
260
00:10:53,746 --> 00:10:57,113
David, what was it exactly that
called you to the Parks Department?
261
00:10:57,783 --> 00:10:59,307
Well, I was in Public
Works for eight years.
262
00:10:59,385 --> 00:11:03,754
But the director was pretty young.
Clarence was old and weak.
263
00:11:04,490 --> 00:11:07,482
So, I put in for a transfer,
swooped in and pushed him out.
264
00:11:11,097 --> 00:11:13,224
There was no other reason
you wanted the job?
265
00:11:13,432 --> 00:11:15,559
No. Just the money
and the pension.
266
00:11:16,402 --> 00:11:17,892
The actual job's
a nightmare.
267
00:11:18,738 --> 00:11:21,866
I mean, who gives
a crap about this crap.
268
00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:28,613
Well, David, I think
we've talked enough.
269
00:11:28,948 --> 00:11:30,973
Mark, that's great.
Bobby, great.
270
00:11:31,050 --> 00:11:34,486
Ann, you look miserable!
Terrible. Terrible!
271
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:38,048
Come on, Ann. What are we doing?
Maxim or Good Housekeeping?
272
00:11:38,357 --> 00:11:40,325
I'm not sure which one
is the insult.
273
00:11:40,393 --> 00:11:42,293
Hey, if there's anyone out there
that's doing a photo shoot
274
00:11:42,361 --> 00:11:44,488
about the dangers of eating
undercooked chicken,
275
00:11:44,563 --> 00:11:46,121
I can give you
Ann's phone number.
276
00:11:46,532 --> 00:11:48,193
Okay, let's stop
for a second.
277
00:11:48,901 --> 00:11:51,131
Bobby, I love how you work. Yay!
278
00:11:51,637 --> 00:11:53,036
You can have as many
juice boxes as you want.
279
00:11:53,105 --> 00:11:55,403
In fact, grab me one, too.
Make it an apple.
280
00:11:55,474 --> 00:11:57,772
Mark, great job, you can
have a juice box, too.
281
00:11:59,078 --> 00:12:00,705
Ann, take a walk with me.
282
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,014
In a million years,
I never thought you would be
283
00:12:03,082 --> 00:12:04,777
the problem with
this photo shoot.
284
00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:07,216
Didn't you just plan this,
like, two hours ago?
285
00:12:07,286 --> 00:12:08,776
I just don't get it.
286
00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:11,048
How could someone so hot
be so bad at looking hot?
287
00:12:11,122 --> 00:12:13,454
I'm sorry I'm not
a professional model.
288
00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:16,153
And screaming, "Make your face better!
" doesn't help.
289
00:12:16,227 --> 00:12:18,491
Well, I'm sorry,
your face just isn't working.
290
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:21,430
And we need to do something to
distract from this boring area.
291
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,927
Now, I didn't want to have to do
this, but we may have to go nude.
292
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,024
Goodbye, Tom!
293
00:12:25,103 --> 00:12:26,161
Fair enough.
I totally understand.
294
00:12:26,237 --> 00:12:27,568
But we should get
one for safety.
295
00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:30,731
Okay, guys. We're almost there.
It's right up here.
296
00:12:30,809 --> 00:12:32,242
You really shouldn't
be leading us.
297
00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:34,278
If you're menstruating,
you'll attract bears.
298
00:12:34,612 --> 00:12:37,274
Holy God. Okay.
299
00:12:38,083 --> 00:12:39,414
Here we are.
300
00:12:39,484 --> 00:12:40,644
Eat.
301
00:12:42,487 --> 00:12:44,284
Well, it hasn't gone
exactly as I've hoped.
302
00:12:44,355 --> 00:12:47,381
But I got them all here and we're
gonna have a beautiful picnic.
303
00:12:48,359 --> 00:12:50,054
It's gonna...
It's gonna be good.
304
00:12:50,128 --> 00:12:51,220
Hey.
305
00:12:51,996 --> 00:12:54,191
I just whizzed
on a butterfly!
306
00:12:57,535 --> 00:12:58,661
Well, gentlemen,
as you know,
307
00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:01,137
I'm working on my welcome
letter for the Summer Catalog.
308
00:13:01,206 --> 00:13:03,106
You should just
copy the Eagleton one.
309
00:13:03,174 --> 00:13:04,801
I used to just
copy the Eagleton one.
310
00:13:05,477 --> 00:13:07,809
Did you? I was hoping that
maybe you could talk to me
311
00:13:07,879 --> 00:13:10,347
a little bit about how the department
has changed since you ran it.
312
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,849
Well, I think you've done a wonderful
job maintaining the parks.
313
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:14,578
Thank you, Michael.
I appreciate that.
314
00:13:14,652 --> 00:13:16,210
Did you enjoy your
turn at the helm?
315
00:13:16,287 --> 00:13:17,584
Oh, in a way.
316
00:13:17,655 --> 00:13:19,282
Pencil pushing wasn't
really my thing,
317
00:13:19,357 --> 00:13:20,949
but I did love
the parks themselves.
318
00:13:21,025 --> 00:13:22,253
That was the best
part of the job.
319
00:13:22,327 --> 00:13:23,692
Oh, isn't it?
I totally agree.
320
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:25,662
Well, thank goodness for you.
321
00:13:26,030 --> 00:13:28,157
Yes, thank goodness
for Michael.
322
00:13:28,867 --> 00:13:30,858
Are you still
on parole, by the way?
323
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,960
Oh, ha, ha.
Very funny, Ron.
324
00:13:33,071 --> 00:13:34,333
Yes. Yes, Ron, I am.
325
00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:36,367
What?
He smoked pot.
326
00:13:36,473 --> 00:13:39,203
In the office. And in all the parks.
Constantly.
327
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:40,971
In fairness to me,
it was a different time.
328
00:13:41,044 --> 00:13:42,068
It was the early '90s.
329
00:13:42,146 --> 00:13:45,877
But also, it's ridiculous
that marijuana is illegal.
330
00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:48,380
Thomas Jefferson grew hemp.
331
00:13:48,986 --> 00:13:51,887
Alcohol is legal,
but pot isn't?
332
00:13:53,157 --> 00:13:54,647
That makes sense
to you, Ron?
333
00:13:54,725 --> 00:13:56,852
I'm sorry,
I can't hear hippies.
334
00:13:59,062 --> 00:14:02,361
So, if you had to sleep with one
of the old guys, who would it be?
335
00:14:02,432 --> 00:14:03,456
The super-old one.
336
00:14:03,534 --> 00:14:04,523
Really?
337
00:14:04,601 --> 00:14:06,626
Mmm-hmm.
I'm an eyebrow girl.
338
00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:09,398
I wanna make out with him
and chew his eyebrows off.
339
00:14:10,574 --> 00:14:12,371
That is really gross.
340
00:14:12,776 --> 00:14:14,334
Anybody got any water?
341
00:14:14,912 --> 00:14:17,938
I want water.
I'm so old, I need to drink water.
342
00:14:18,015 --> 00:14:19,812
Oh, stop it,
stop taunting him.
343
00:14:19,883 --> 00:14:21,510
I don't need
your help, jailbird.
344
00:14:21,585 --> 00:14:25,248
If there's any unclaimed meat or
cheese, I would like to claim it.
345
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:26,516
Yeah.
Like you claimed my job?
346
00:14:26,590 --> 00:14:29,525
Yes. Exactly like that, in that I
wanted it, and then I took it.
347
00:14:29,593 --> 00:14:30,617
Okay, guys, you know
what I would love?
348
00:14:30,694 --> 00:14:33,219
I would love if anybody
just said something positive
349
00:14:33,297 --> 00:14:34,958
about, oh,
I don't know, anything.
350
00:14:35,032 --> 00:14:38,968
I agree. Let's just relax, smoke
another J, and all calm down.
351
00:14:39,036 --> 00:14:40,060
Another?
352
00:14:40,137 --> 00:14:43,163
By the way, it's ridiculous
that pot is illegal.
353
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,902
It grows in the ground!
354
00:14:45,976 --> 00:14:49,070
I've planted marijuana in community
gardens all over the city,
355
00:14:49,146 --> 00:14:50,773
and it hasn't hurt anyone!
What?
356
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:51,974
You know, Michael?
You are one
357
00:14:52,049 --> 00:14:54,813
pot-loving mother
pain in the rectum.
358
00:14:54,885 --> 00:14:58,343
Okay, stop it! Stop it!
You're all being awful, horrible men!
359
00:14:58,422 --> 00:15:01,721
Uh-oh. Your little friend come to visit?
360
00:15:01,791 --> 00:15:05,386
Clarence, if you mention
anything about women,
361
00:15:05,461 --> 00:15:08,328
or menstruation,
or anything,
362
00:15:08,397 --> 00:15:10,888
I'm gonna take your face and I'm
gonna shove it in those brambles.
363
00:15:10,967 --> 00:15:12,434
Yes!
No! You're next, buddy.
364
00:15:12,501 --> 00:15:14,230
Andy!
Let's take this picture.
365
00:15:14,303 --> 00:15:15,634
Come on!
Get out of your seats, turds.
366
00:15:15,705 --> 00:15:16,933
What?
Line up over there.
367
00:15:17,006 --> 00:15:19,770
Come on.
Just please try to look human.
368
00:15:19,842 --> 00:15:21,070
All right,
and not so evil.
369
00:15:21,143 --> 00:15:22,906
Everybody looking here.
One, two, three.
370
00:15:22,979 --> 00:15:24,412
Thank you so much
for the wonderful memories.
371
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:25,674
Everybody take
their stuff and go.
372
00:15:25,748 --> 00:15:27,579
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Can we do one funny-face one?
373
00:15:31,954 --> 00:15:33,080
Do you have that
picture that Andy took?
374
00:15:33,155 --> 00:15:34,816
Maybe I'll run it
without any text.
375
00:15:34,891 --> 00:15:38,850
Yeah. I tried to Photoshop it to
make it look like they were happy.
376
00:15:38,928 --> 00:15:41,158
It was really hard.
Their mouths are so old.
377
00:15:41,497 --> 00:15:43,465
God! Look at these
horrible men.
378
00:15:43,733 --> 00:15:46,031
You know, I don't even know
if I want them in my catalog.
379
00:15:46,102 --> 00:15:48,832
Would you like these
men in your catalog?
380
00:15:49,572 --> 00:15:51,164
Oh, my God, April.
That's disgusting.
381
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,333
What? Look how generous they're
being with each other.
382
00:15:53,576 --> 00:15:55,271
And here's the
"Obstruction" series.
383
00:15:55,344 --> 00:15:56,777
What do you think?
Amazing, right?
384
00:15:57,513 --> 00:15:59,413
I call this one
"The Future."
385
00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:01,845
It's completely blurry.
386
00:16:02,485 --> 00:16:04,214
Yes, it is, Ann.
387
00:16:05,421 --> 00:16:07,889
What about the ones we took on the swing?
The normal ones?
388
00:16:08,224 --> 00:16:10,317
You mean the
"Unhappy Wife" photos?
389
00:16:12,161 --> 00:16:15,062
Oh, my God.
These are even worse, somehow.
390
00:16:15,564 --> 00:16:16,690
I look miserable.
391
00:16:16,766 --> 00:16:18,131
You do look
kind of miserable.
392
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,725
Now you know what I meant by,
"Make your face better."
393
00:16:20,803 --> 00:16:22,566
Was there
something wrong, Ann?
394
00:16:22,972 --> 00:16:26,373
Well, I had just gotten off a long shift.
He was being really annoying.
395
00:16:27,076 --> 00:16:28,133
Mark looks happy.
396
00:16:29,044 --> 00:16:30,841
Just please
don't use these, okay?
397
00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:33,312
Let's grab some dinner.
398
00:16:33,915 --> 00:16:34,904
Sure.
399
00:16:36,985 --> 00:16:38,316
Hey, Ron.
You want me to read you
400
00:16:38,386 --> 00:16:39,944
what I have so far
in my welcome letter?
401
00:16:40,155 --> 00:16:42,817
Nothing. Because you
and your jerk predecessors
402
00:16:42,891 --> 00:16:44,290
didn't give me anything
to work with.
403
00:16:45,093 --> 00:16:47,391
Did you print this out?
404
00:16:47,462 --> 00:16:48,520
I heard the printer going.
405
00:16:48,596 --> 00:16:49,654
Yes.
406
00:16:49,731 --> 00:16:51,756
You could've just handed me
a blank piece of paper.
407
00:16:51,833 --> 00:16:55,030
Oh! Wisdom! Finally.
Thank you so much.
408
00:16:55,103 --> 00:16:57,264
You can also keep the photo.
Thanks for the memories.
409
00:16:58,540 --> 00:17:00,701
Good God.
I don't remember this.
410
00:17:00,775 --> 00:17:02,174
That...
That's the wrong one.
411
00:17:02,243 --> 00:17:04,507
But the real one's
very bad as well.
412
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,877
I want you to know that I'm
replacing the "Welcome Letter"
413
00:17:06,948 --> 00:17:09,542
with this ad for Yearning
by Dennis Feinstein.
414
00:17:09,751 --> 00:17:12,481
So goodbye, distilled wisdom
of 50 years of experience.
415
00:17:12,554 --> 00:17:14,419
Hello, disgusting
fragrance flap.
416
00:17:15,390 --> 00:17:16,448
Let me buy you dinner.
417
00:17:16,524 --> 00:17:18,685
No. I insist you
buy me dinner.
418
00:17:19,127 --> 00:17:21,823
Get a drink. Whatever.
It's cool. ANDY: Okay.
419
00:17:21,896 --> 00:17:23,227
ID.
I'm 24.
420
00:17:23,298 --> 00:17:24,287
No, you're not.
421
00:17:25,233 --> 00:17:26,757
Okay, I'm 25.
422
00:17:26,935 --> 00:17:28,095
No old jokes, please.
423
00:17:28,169 --> 00:17:29,295
ID.
424
00:17:37,112 --> 00:17:39,012
It says right here
you're 20.
425
00:17:39,981 --> 00:17:41,380
You're not even
gonna show me a fake?
426
00:17:43,118 --> 00:17:45,848
Sometimes the confidence
confuses people.
427
00:17:46,054 --> 00:17:47,146
You're good, bro.
428
00:17:47,222 --> 00:17:49,782
You know what? I think I'll just...
I'm gonna...
429
00:17:49,858 --> 00:17:53,452
Hey, I know another bar
that always lets me in,
430
00:17:53,527 --> 00:17:55,654
if you just wanna go there.
431
00:17:56,030 --> 00:17:58,897
Uh... Yeah, actually,
I should get going home.
432
00:17:59,466 --> 00:18:00,694
I have a lot of
stuff to do.
433
00:18:01,001 --> 00:18:04,027
So, I should go home.
Clean and stuff.
434
00:18:04,938 --> 00:18:06,235
But...
435
00:18:06,573 --> 00:18:07,699
Yeah, okay, cool.
436
00:18:07,775 --> 00:18:10,801
Yeah, I gotta go home, too.
So...
437
00:18:10,878 --> 00:18:11,867
All right.
438
00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:14,438
See you!
439
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:17,476
Later.
440
00:18:19,853 --> 00:18:20,877
The usual, Marta.
441
00:18:20,954 --> 00:18:21,943
Me, too, Marta.
442
00:18:22,022 --> 00:18:23,011
You got it.
443
00:18:23,624 --> 00:18:26,718
Oh, Ron, I really made
love to the pooch on this one.
444
00:18:27,594 --> 00:18:28,583
Screwed the pooch?
445
00:18:28,662 --> 00:18:30,562
I don't like that term.
It's so vulgar.
446
00:18:31,832 --> 00:18:33,322
Ron!
447
00:18:34,668 --> 00:18:37,102
That sucked, today. I'm sorry.
There's no other way to say it.
448
00:18:37,571 --> 00:18:39,869
They're a bunch of
career bureaucrats.
449
00:18:39,940 --> 00:18:41,669
What did you think they
were gonna say to you?
450
00:18:42,042 --> 00:18:44,033
"Leslie, you are the next link
in a wonderful chain
451
00:18:44,111 --> 00:18:45,874
"that stretches back
to when our town was founded,
452
00:18:45,946 --> 00:18:47,504
"and we believe in you
and we support you
453
00:18:47,581 --> 00:18:49,071
"and we'll be
following your career.
454
00:18:49,583 --> 00:18:50,607
"You are the chosen one."
455
00:18:51,285 --> 00:18:52,274
Or something.
456
00:18:52,553 --> 00:18:54,578
Well, okay, so,
that was the problem.
457
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:57,852
No. You know what the worst part
is is I wanna be Parks Director.
458
00:18:57,925 --> 00:19:00,792
But every single person who was
Parks Director hated their job
459
00:19:00,861 --> 00:19:02,590
and hated everyone
they worked with.
460
00:19:05,566 --> 00:19:07,158
Are we gonna hate
each other someday?
461
00:19:08,502 --> 00:19:11,403
I don't think so.
I think we're gonna be fine.
462
00:19:13,774 --> 00:19:14,900
Anyway, the point's moot,
463
00:19:14,975 --> 00:19:17,603
because you're Park Director now
and you're not going anywhere
464
00:19:17,678 --> 00:19:19,440
and I'm not making
you go anywhere.
465
00:19:19,512 --> 00:19:21,810
I'm not gonna stab you in
the back or anything, so...
466
00:19:21,881 --> 00:19:24,850
Maybe I should go somewhere.
Maybe I should move, to Eagleton.
467
00:19:25,885 --> 00:19:27,409
Oh, God,
the thought of that.
468
00:19:27,487 --> 00:19:29,978
Leslie, you don't
have to move to Eagleton.
469
00:19:30,389 --> 00:19:33,324
When I become City Manager,
my job is yours.
470
00:19:35,027 --> 00:19:37,120
Of course, my first
act as City Manager
471
00:19:37,196 --> 00:19:39,960
will be to propose eliminating
the Parks Department.
472
00:19:40,299 --> 00:19:42,859
Although I expect a spirited
debate with Leslie.
473
00:19:42,969 --> 00:19:45,233
Who knows what
the future holds for me?
474
00:19:45,304 --> 00:19:48,671
Maybe I'll leapfrog Ron's job
and become City Manager.
475
00:19:49,475 --> 00:19:51,272
Of course, my first
act as City Manager
476
00:19:51,344 --> 00:19:53,574
would be to double the size
of the Parks Department.
477
00:19:54,313 --> 00:19:57,009
Although, I do expect
a fight from Ron.
478
00:19:58,484 --> 00:19:59,473
But I'll win.
479
00:19:59,986 --> 00:20:00,975
Mmm!
480
00:20:01,654 --> 00:20:02,712
Thank you, darling.
481
00:20:02,788 --> 00:20:05,689
Why would anybody ever eat
anything besides breakfast food?
482
00:20:05,758 --> 00:20:07,783
People are idiots, Leslie.
483
00:20:13,766 --> 00:20:14,755
The wait is over!
484
00:20:14,834 --> 00:20:15,858
Oh, yeah!
485
00:20:15,935 --> 00:20:17,061
Yeah!
486
00:20:17,170 --> 00:20:18,364
Look what's here.
487
00:20:19,272 --> 00:20:20,330
We got...
488
00:20:20,406 --> 00:20:23,375
"My fellow Pawneeans...
Yes, it's here!
489
00:20:23,442 --> 00:20:26,036
"The Parks Department's
Summer Catalog has arrived
490
00:20:26,245 --> 00:20:29,009
"and for the first time
in 20 years, tennis is back!
491
00:20:29,549 --> 00:20:31,881
"Peruse this wondrous
book at your leisure
492
00:20:31,951 --> 00:20:35,045
"and take advantage of everything
this great town has to offer.
493
00:20:35,555 --> 00:20:38,080
"Time is fleeting,
my fellow Pawneeans.
494
00:20:38,157 --> 00:20:40,057
"Make the most of it,
while you can.
495
00:20:41,127 --> 00:20:43,459
"I recently had the honor
of spending an afternoon
496
00:20:43,529 --> 00:20:46,258
"with every living
former Parks Director,
497
00:20:46,331 --> 00:20:48,390
"and they taught me
a valuable lesson,
498
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,798
"there is nothing more
important than friendship."
499
00:20:53,238 --> 00:20:54,262
It's a little flowery.
500
00:20:54,339 --> 00:20:55,431
Shut up.
501
00:20:58,710 --> 00:21:00,200
I gotta hand it
to Michael.
502
00:21:00,278 --> 00:21:04,339
His water-pipe-making skills
were most impressive.
503
00:21:04,416 --> 00:21:05,610
I once saw him smoke pot
504
00:21:05,684 --> 00:21:09,142
out of a 20-foot length of
garden hose and a milk jug.
505
00:21:09,254 --> 00:21:12,155
That guy made a water pipe
out of a stuffed raccoon.
506
00:21:12,224 --> 00:21:13,555
No way.
No, I'm not kidding.
507
00:21:13,625 --> 00:21:15,752
He made a bong out of
a taxidermied raccoon?
508
00:21:15,827 --> 00:21:17,590
I caught him
smoking pot out of it
509
00:21:17,696 --> 00:21:19,493
not three feet from
where we're standing.
510
00:21:20,365 --> 00:21:22,196
Oh, nice shot.
511
00:21:22,267 --> 00:21:24,599
Right in Clarence's
ancient junk.
512
00:21:27,305 --> 00:21:28,363
In the neck!