1 00:00:12,468 --> 00:00:13,702 Okay, so I've been a little worried 2 00:00:13,769 --> 00:00:15,270 That Ann maybe thinks that our relationship 3 00:00:15,338 --> 00:00:17,272 Isn't moving forward fast enough. 4 00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:20,842 And so I'm wondering if maybe I should ask her 5 00:00:20,910 --> 00:00:23,334 If she would like to move in with me. 6 00:00:23,402 --> 00:00:25,572 Good idea? Bad idea? You tell me. 7 00:00:25,639 --> 00:00:27,272 Well, I would say that some women 8 00:00:27,339 --> 00:00:28,975 Won't consider moving in with someone 9 00:00:29,042 --> 00:00:30,412 Unless they think marriage is in the future, 10 00:00:30,479 --> 00:00:35,434 Which I know for you is-- - I intend to marry her. 11 00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:36,673 For realskies? 12 00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:38,875 I'm not really quite sure how I feel. 13 00:00:38,943 --> 00:00:41,579 Um, I--it-- it's a little weird. 14 00:00:41,646 --> 00:00:43,381 I mean, I'm happy for them. They're my friends. 15 00:00:43,449 --> 00:00:44,749 It makes me a little nauseous. 16 00:00:44,817 --> 00:00:48,489 If I could just sum it up in one word, it would be, um... 17 00:00:50,393 --> 00:00:55,402 Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. 18 00:01:00,875 --> 00:01:02,475 ♪ ♪ 19 00:01:18,629 --> 00:01:24,470 Parks and rec. 20 00:01:24,538 --> 00:01:27,340 Confirming what? 21 00:01:27,408 --> 00:01:32,481 That's not possible. 22 00:01:32,549 --> 00:01:34,551 Oh, no. 23 00:01:34,619 --> 00:01:37,054 Hey. Good morning. 24 00:01:37,122 --> 00:01:38,957 Why are there six people outside who say 25 00:01:39,025 --> 00:01:40,825 They're waiting to meet with me? 26 00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:43,295 So you know how you love me because you haven't had 27 00:01:43,363 --> 00:01:46,165 A single meeting with anyone since I became your assistant? 28 00:01:46,233 --> 00:01:48,901 That's because every time someone calls 29 00:01:48,969 --> 00:01:50,403 And requests a meeting with you, 30 00:01:50,471 --> 00:01:53,207 I always schedule it for March 31st. 31 00:01:53,275 --> 00:01:54,475 Why? 32 00:01:54,543 --> 00:01:56,578 Because I didn't think March 31st existed. 33 00:01:56,645 --> 00:02:00,582 ♪ 30 days has September, April, March, and November ♪ 34 00:02:00,650 --> 00:02:03,385 June and November. 35 00:02:03,452 --> 00:02:05,520 Today is March 31st. 36 00:02:05,588 --> 00:02:06,955 I know. 37 00:02:07,023 --> 00:02:09,691 So then how many meetings do I have today? 38 00:02:09,758 --> 00:02:13,194 - 93. - Okay. 39 00:02:13,262 --> 00:02:16,364 Okay. Well, you know what to do. 40 00:02:16,432 --> 00:02:17,598 Right. 41 00:02:17,666 --> 00:02:20,635 - To me, this situation is a blood-soaked, 42 00:02:20,703 --> 00:02:23,305 Nightmarish hellscape. 43 00:02:23,372 --> 00:02:26,141 However, to Leslie Knope... Oh, how fun. 44 00:02:26,209 --> 00:02:27,309 Yay. 45 00:02:27,377 --> 00:02:28,778 Why don't you take as many as you can 46 00:02:28,845 --> 00:02:29,779 And I'll cover the rest? 47 00:02:29,847 --> 00:02:31,114 I have a better idea. 48 00:02:31,181 --> 00:02:33,483 Why don't I try to rustle up seven more meetings 49 00:02:33,551 --> 00:02:34,651 'cause I think it would be cooler 50 00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:35,919 If there were an even 100. 51 00:02:35,987 --> 00:02:37,588 - Just--why don't we just stick to these 93 52 00:02:37,656 --> 00:02:38,756 And see how it goes. 53 00:02:38,824 --> 00:02:39,924 Yeah, okay. 54 00:02:39,992 --> 00:02:41,593 This is the perfect distraction for me. 55 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,229 Okay, so I have everything I need, right? 56 00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:46,333 I have a fresh cup of coffee, comfy, fur-lined boots. 57 00:02:46,401 --> 00:02:48,402 I'm gonna need those boots back by the end of the day. 58 00:02:48,470 --> 00:02:49,504 Yeah, no problem. 59 00:02:49,571 --> 00:02:51,406 They're actually a little narrow for me. 60 00:02:51,473 --> 00:02:52,907 Leslie, here's a guy. 61 00:02:52,975 --> 00:02:54,943 Hi, I'm Leslie Knope, deputy director. 62 00:02:55,011 --> 00:02:57,179 Bill Haggardy, Pawnee historical society. 63 00:02:57,247 --> 00:02:58,981 I'm supposed to be meeting with Ron Swanson. 64 00:02:59,049 --> 00:03:01,083 I understand that. He's tied up right now. 65 00:03:01,151 --> 00:03:02,318 What a shocker. 66 00:03:02,386 --> 00:03:03,920 I've been trying to meet with him three months 67 00:03:03,988 --> 00:03:05,155 And now he's not available. 68 00:03:05,222 --> 00:03:06,423 It's probably too late now, 69 00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,459 But, uh, some rich woman, Jessica wicks, 70 00:03:08,526 --> 00:03:10,861 Has rented out turnbill mansion for a party 71 00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:12,764 And she's making alterations. 72 00:03:12,831 --> 00:03:14,432 "alterations"? 73 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,134 Turnbill mansion is one of the most beloved 74 00:03:16,202 --> 00:03:17,936 Historical sites in Pawnee. 75 00:03:18,004 --> 00:03:21,940 In 1867, the progressive reverend turnbill 76 00:03:22,008 --> 00:03:24,342 Officiated a wedding between a white woman 77 00:03:24,410 --> 00:03:27,646 And a wamapoke Indian chief. 78 00:03:27,713 --> 00:03:31,950 The secret ceremony was beautiful and romantic. 79 00:03:32,017 --> 00:03:33,251 But then word got out 80 00:03:33,319 --> 00:03:37,989 And the reception was a bloodbath. 81 00:03:38,057 --> 00:03:41,159 Fortunately, there were two survivors. 82 00:03:41,227 --> 00:03:43,662 Unfortunately, they were both horses. 83 00:03:43,730 --> 00:03:47,033 Hold up. Former beauty queen Jessica wicks? 84 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:48,601 - Yes. - I'm Tom Haverford. 85 00:03:48,669 --> 00:03:50,503 I'm gonna be running point on this, bill. 86 00:03:50,571 --> 00:03:51,704 Why didn't you try to stop her? 87 00:03:51,772 --> 00:03:53,039 Her husband is Nick Newport, Sr. 88 00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:54,374 From sweetums. 89 00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,343 Everyone in this town is afraid to say no to him. 90 00:03:56,411 --> 00:03:57,511 Okay, everybody just relax. 91 00:03:57,579 --> 00:03:59,880 What alterations is she trying to make? 92 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:03,484 Drilling holes. Painting. Uh, removing wainscoting. 93 00:04:03,551 --> 00:04:05,653 Uh, she's tearing down the gazebo. 94 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:08,088 What? She's what? No, she's not. 95 00:04:08,156 --> 00:04:09,390 Okay, Tom, go get the car. 96 00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:11,525 - Ow! - Oh, sorry. 97 00:04:11,593 --> 00:04:13,894 - Don't throw things at me. - Oh, these are tight. 98 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:16,230 I'll devise an action plan 99 00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,065 To help us coordinate better among the departments. 100 00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:20,368 Will you? Great. Thanks for coming in. 101 00:04:20,435 --> 00:04:23,004 Who's next? Tom, I'll meet you at the car. 102 00:04:23,072 --> 00:04:24,072 Where the hell are you going? 103 00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:25,073 We have 91 more meetings. 104 00:04:25,141 --> 00:04:26,074 I'm sorry, Ron. 105 00:04:26,142 --> 00:04:27,509 As much as I would like to go 106 00:04:27,576 --> 00:04:29,444 For the all-time, city hall single day meetings record, 107 00:04:29,512 --> 00:04:31,179 There is an emergency. 108 00:04:31,246 --> 00:04:37,017 Someone is trying to alter a gazebo. 109 00:04:37,084 --> 00:04:38,885 - Hey. - Oh, hey, Ann. 110 00:04:38,953 --> 00:04:41,054 Sorry I can't hang out. I kind of have an emergency. 111 00:04:41,122 --> 00:04:42,689 Oh, I'm actually here to see mark. 112 00:04:42,757 --> 00:04:44,992 Right. Oh, well, thanks for the coffee. 113 00:04:45,059 --> 00:04:47,728 - That's also for mark. - Mm. I really need it though. 114 00:04:47,795 --> 00:04:50,764 But next time more sugar. Okay, thanks. Bye! 115 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,333 Um, do you want me to postpone the rest? 116 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,936 Or I could set myself on fire and create a diversion. 117 00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:56,938 No. I'm gonna do all of these today. 118 00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,373 Round up whoever's free. 119 00:04:58,441 --> 00:05:01,476 I'm gonna need more Ron Swansons. 120 00:05:01,544 --> 00:05:03,778 Look at that. It's gorgeous. 121 00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:06,715 What kind of monster would want to change this? 122 00:05:06,782 --> 00:05:09,117 - Ugh! Pre-zit. 123 00:05:09,185 --> 00:05:11,486 Do you have any, uh, brown concealer by any chance? 124 00:05:11,554 --> 00:05:13,254 I need to look good for Jessica. 125 00:05:13,322 --> 00:05:15,757 They may be rich, but they can't just destroy history. 126 00:05:15,825 --> 00:05:17,558 Let's go. Right behind you. 127 00:05:17,626 --> 00:05:21,662 I just need to spend a minute on my cologne cloud. 128 00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:24,499 - What is that? - Attack by Dennis Feinstein. 129 00:05:24,566 --> 00:05:25,767 When you want to attack the senses 130 00:05:25,834 --> 00:05:27,135 Of the lady you want to bed. 131 00:05:27,203 --> 00:05:30,271 - Oh, my God. - Door! Door! Door! Door! 132 00:05:30,339 --> 00:05:31,773 Close it. Ugh. 133 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:35,110 So basically, we're completely swamped. 134 00:05:35,177 --> 00:05:36,678 All hands on deck. 135 00:05:36,746 --> 00:05:38,079 I don't even work in this building. 136 00:05:38,147 --> 00:05:40,615 Don't care. I need anyone with a pulse and a brain 137 00:05:40,683 --> 00:05:41,683 To pitch in. 138 00:05:41,751 --> 00:05:43,985 Ron, do you need help with anything? 139 00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:45,253 No. We're good. Thanks. 140 00:05:45,321 --> 00:05:47,822 In fact, you can head home early. 141 00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:49,424 Right now the four of us are going to divvy up 142 00:05:49,492 --> 00:05:50,759 All these meetings. 143 00:05:50,827 --> 00:05:52,293 Just make 'em feel like they've been heard. 144 00:05:52,361 --> 00:05:53,995 Understood? Yes, sir. 145 00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:57,999 Bert Macklin, FBI, on the case. 146 00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,134 April, you take Leslie's office. 147 00:06:00,202 --> 00:06:01,602 Andy, you're in the conference room. 148 00:06:01,670 --> 00:06:03,505 Ann, take your meetings in the courtyard. 149 00:06:03,573 --> 00:06:07,309 Just sit there and don't ruin the city. 150 00:06:07,377 --> 00:06:10,847 Dismissed. 151 00:06:10,915 --> 00:06:12,015 What are you doing? 152 00:06:12,083 --> 00:06:14,318 Can I get a badge? 153 00:06:14,386 --> 00:06:18,523 Hey. Brought you coffee. Help you get through the day. 154 00:06:18,591 --> 00:06:24,129 - Thanks, dude. - No problem, lady. 155 00:06:27,767 --> 00:06:29,434 I'm gonna go. Okay. 156 00:06:29,502 --> 00:06:33,038 April is the best. But she's 20. 157 00:06:33,106 --> 00:06:35,040 When April was born, I was already in 3rd grade. 158 00:06:35,108 --> 00:06:36,875 Which means if we were friends back then, 159 00:06:36,943 --> 00:06:39,711 I'd have been hanging out with a baby. 160 00:06:39,779 --> 00:06:43,047 I don't know anything about infant care. 161 00:06:43,115 --> 00:06:47,585 My God, I could've killed her. 162 00:06:47,652 --> 00:06:49,386 Ah, Mr. Newport, Sr. 163 00:06:49,454 --> 00:06:50,854 I've just been informed that you plan 164 00:06:50,922 --> 00:06:52,189 On altering this mansion. 165 00:06:52,257 --> 00:06:54,258 And as a member of the parks department, 166 00:06:54,325 --> 00:06:56,460 As a pawneean, and an American, 167 00:06:56,527 --> 00:06:58,528 I ask you to refrain 168 00:06:58,596 --> 00:07:01,565 From harming this historic structure. 169 00:07:01,632 --> 00:07:02,699 What? 170 00:07:02,767 --> 00:07:04,302 I'll take care of this, love nut. 171 00:07:04,369 --> 00:07:06,704 - Biscuit. - Yeah. Hi. 172 00:07:06,772 --> 00:07:10,241 I'm Jessica wicks. Miss Pawnee 1994. 173 00:07:10,308 --> 00:07:11,475 Hello. Yes, we've met before. 174 00:07:11,543 --> 00:07:13,277 We were both judges at the pageant last year. 175 00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:16,181 Leslie Knorp. Of course. How are you? 176 00:07:16,249 --> 00:07:18,683 Jessica wicks! Hey, boo. 177 00:07:18,751 --> 00:07:21,353 Are you aging in reverse 'cause you look barely legal? 178 00:07:21,421 --> 00:07:22,621 Tom Haverford. 179 00:07:22,689 --> 00:07:24,557 If you're not the most charming man in Indiana. 180 00:07:24,624 --> 00:07:27,293 And this must be the luckiest man in Indiana. 181 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:30,763 Sir, it is an honor to meet you. 182 00:07:30,831 --> 00:07:34,200 Come here, you. 183 00:07:34,268 --> 00:07:37,470 Tell me straight. Are you a Chinese? 184 00:07:37,538 --> 00:07:40,807 No. I'm one of the Indian people. 185 00:07:40,875 --> 00:07:42,442 That floppy old bag of money 186 00:07:42,509 --> 00:07:44,777 Is gonna be dead in, like, a month. 187 00:07:44,845 --> 00:07:46,946 And who's going to comfort Jessica 188 00:07:47,014 --> 00:07:49,182 And her millions of dollars? 189 00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:53,253 Yeah, Jessica's a gold digger, but I'm a gold digger digger. 190 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,590 So how did you and Mr. Newport meet? 191 00:07:56,657 --> 00:07:59,626 Well, I was doing a ribbon cutting at the hospital. 192 00:07:59,694 --> 00:08:02,230 And he was there because his blood doesn't work. 193 00:08:02,297 --> 00:08:03,965 And we started talking. 194 00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:05,734 And then I realized who he was. 195 00:08:05,801 --> 00:08:09,471 oh, my gosh. It was love at first sight. 196 00:08:09,539 --> 00:08:11,640 Oh, that sounds so romantic. 197 00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:14,243 Um, Jessica, I know you've rented out this house 198 00:08:14,311 --> 00:08:16,412 For a party, but it's on the historical register 199 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:17,847 So we can't allow any changes. 200 00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:19,248 I--I'm so sorry. 201 00:08:19,316 --> 00:08:22,285 it's a little late for that, sweetheart. 202 00:08:22,352 --> 00:08:24,320 I told them what I was doing months ago. 203 00:08:24,388 --> 00:08:26,089 Where I come from there's a saying 204 00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:28,091 "what's done is done." Hmm. 205 00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:29,459 That's a saying everywhere. 206 00:08:29,527 --> 00:08:30,561 I've never heard it before 207 00:08:30,628 --> 00:08:31,862 And I think it's a great saying. 208 00:08:31,930 --> 00:08:33,397 Well, maybe we can just limit the damage. 209 00:08:33,465 --> 00:08:36,768 How much have you done? You painted this? 210 00:08:36,836 --> 00:08:39,871 - Uh-huh. Miami teal is Nicky's favorite color. 211 00:08:39,939 --> 00:08:42,107 We also replaced some of the sconces, 212 00:08:42,174 --> 00:08:44,943 Got rid of the furniture, painted these floors black. 213 00:08:45,011 --> 00:08:46,233 Oh, my God, these were the original hardwood floors. 214 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,801 Yeah. They were all scratched up. 215 00:08:48,869 --> 00:08:50,903 I did you a favor. Come on in here. 216 00:08:50,971 --> 00:08:52,638 I'll show you guys what we did in the sitting room. 217 00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:54,773 After you. I'd hate to miss the view. 218 00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:59,204 I should just pay you to follow me around. 219 00:08:59,271 --> 00:09:00,805 If that's a job offer, I accept. 220 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,607 Oh, my God. 221 00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:05,009 Why did you have to drill holes in the wall? 222 00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:08,379 To hang my birthday present to Nicky. 223 00:09:08,447 --> 00:09:09,881 My heavens. 224 00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:13,752 - Isn't there a way that that you--oh, my. 225 00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:15,386 History is important. 226 00:09:15,454 --> 00:09:17,155 You just can't go around changing everything 227 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,090 All the time or else next thing you know 228 00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:21,960 They'll be painting the white house... 229 00:09:22,027 --> 00:09:24,562 Not white. 230 00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:27,966 I'm so angry, I can't think of another color. 231 00:09:28,033 --> 00:09:29,334 Green. 232 00:09:29,868 --> 00:09:31,602 So your department banned me from attending games 233 00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:34,171 Just because I yell "you suck" at the players. 234 00:09:34,239 --> 00:09:35,573 According to the complaint, 235 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:38,075 You yelled it at five-year-old girls. 236 00:09:42,939 --> 00:09:45,340 I thought I was having this meeting with Ron Swanson. 237 00:09:45,408 --> 00:09:47,576 I'm afraid that Ron Swanson's 238 00:09:47,643 --> 00:09:48,877 Currently dead. 239 00:09:48,945 --> 00:09:50,278 - Oh. - I'm his daughter. 240 00:09:50,346 --> 00:09:52,113 April Swanson. 241 00:09:52,181 --> 00:09:54,349 And it's his last wish 242 00:09:54,417 --> 00:09:56,484 That I have this meeting with you. 243 00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:58,653 I represent the ultimate Frisbee league. 244 00:09:58,721 --> 00:10:01,089 - Pawnee has an ultimate league? - Yes. 245 00:10:01,157 --> 00:10:03,124 And we keep running into conflicts-- 246 00:10:03,192 --> 00:10:05,994 - You won me over. I will join your team. 247 00:10:06,062 --> 00:10:08,196 - I'm sorry, um, what we need-- 248 00:10:08,264 --> 00:10:10,365 - When does practice start? And do you provide the jerseys? 249 00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:11,900 What color are the jerseys by the way? 250 00:10:11,968 --> 00:10:15,503 What's our team name? Are we "the lightning"? 251 00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:16,805 Now, I have to tell you, 252 00:10:16,873 --> 00:10:18,640 I don't actually work in the parks department. 253 00:10:18,708 --> 00:10:21,576 I'm a nurse. Seriously? 254 00:10:21,644 --> 00:10:22,744 That's great news. 255 00:10:22,812 --> 00:10:26,581 I have the weirdest thing on my arm. 256 00:10:26,649 --> 00:10:30,151 Can you see this? Every time. 257 00:10:30,219 --> 00:10:32,921 Well, thank God you haven't torn down the gazebo yet. 258 00:10:32,989 --> 00:10:34,823 Ugh. Don't remind me. 259 00:10:34,891 --> 00:10:37,425 The demolition people couldn't get here until this afternoon. 260 00:10:37,493 --> 00:10:40,095 I've had to look at that ugly thing all day long. 261 00:10:40,162 --> 00:10:42,230 Ugly thing? 262 00:10:42,298 --> 00:10:43,498 Let me tell you a little something 263 00:10:43,566 --> 00:10:45,467 About this ugly thing, ma'am. 264 00:10:45,534 --> 00:10:47,469 150 years ago, an interracial couple 265 00:10:47,536 --> 00:10:48,970 Was married here and then slaughtered 266 00:10:49,038 --> 00:10:50,572 By their own families. 267 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:53,208 It's one of the most beautiful stories in Pawnee's history. 268 00:10:53,276 --> 00:10:54,609 Why are you trying to destroy it? 269 00:10:54,677 --> 00:10:56,544 Don't tell me about Pawnee history. 270 00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:58,480 The newports made this town. 271 00:11:00,839 --> 00:11:05,276 85th birthday without this mushy, old, pile of rot. 272 00:11:05,344 --> 00:11:07,044 Your husband's a mushy, old, pile of rot. 273 00:11:07,112 --> 00:11:08,446 You were a stick in the mud 274 00:11:08,514 --> 00:11:10,314 When we judged that beauty pageant 275 00:11:10,382 --> 00:11:12,450 And you're being a stick in the mud now! 276 00:11:12,518 --> 00:11:14,552 I am not a stick in the mud! 277 00:11:14,620 --> 00:11:18,589 I-I just want to stop a party from happening. 278 00:11:18,657 --> 00:11:20,725 Ron, I have a gazebo update 279 00:11:20,792 --> 00:11:22,994 So ignore all my previous voicemails and emails. 280 00:11:23,061 --> 00:11:25,863 Uh, Leslie, I haven't relieved myself in five hours. 281 00:11:25,931 --> 00:11:27,932 So if you'll excuse me. 282 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,300 Ron, I'm sorry, but this can't wait. 283 00:11:29,368 --> 00:11:32,370 Jessica wicks refuses-- - Leslie, what the [bleep]? 284 00:11:32,437 --> 00:11:33,838 - Hey! - Miss Knope! 285 00:11:33,906 --> 00:11:35,706 Councilman Howser! Nice to see you again. 286 00:11:35,774 --> 00:11:37,608 Not that I saw anything other than your face. 287 00:11:37,676 --> 00:11:39,076 And I would like to talk to you a little bit 288 00:11:39,144 --> 00:11:40,278 About this gazebo thing. 289 00:11:40,345 --> 00:11:41,546 You know, the p-- okay. Okay. 290 00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:44,582 Enough of this. Do whatever you want. 291 00:11:44,650 --> 00:11:46,984 Alert the media. Call FEMA. I don't care. 292 00:11:47,052 --> 00:11:49,420 Do not bother me with this again. 293 00:11:53,825 --> 00:11:55,860 - Miss Knope. - Councilman Howser. 294 00:11:55,928 --> 00:11:57,495 I saw your penis. 295 00:11:57,563 --> 00:12:00,298 There are eight swings at Ramsett park 296 00:12:00,365 --> 00:12:02,333 And every single one of them is broken. 297 00:12:02,401 --> 00:12:04,435 Can you please just fix one of them? 298 00:12:05,003 --> 00:12:07,938 Ron told me I can't say yes to anything. 299 00:12:08,006 --> 00:12:11,608 But it's such a reasonable request, 300 00:12:11,676 --> 00:12:13,243 I can't just say no. 301 00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:17,480 So that's a "yes"? 302 00:12:18,007 --> 00:12:20,141 Just say out loud "yes" or "no". 303 00:12:20,209 --> 00:12:25,980 - Eeeeeee-boop! 304 00:12:26,048 --> 00:12:28,783 Yeah, they do look a little bit swollen. 305 00:12:28,851 --> 00:12:31,419 Just follow the pen. 306 00:12:31,487 --> 00:12:34,922 Follow the pen t... 307 00:12:34,990 --> 00:12:37,191 Does--does that hurt? 308 00:12:39,694 --> 00:12:41,228 There's no way this ordinance goes through. 309 00:12:41,295 --> 00:12:42,229 There's too much red tape. 310 00:12:42,296 --> 00:12:43,530 Mm. This gridlock drives me nuts. 311 00:12:43,598 --> 00:12:44,698 Tell me about it. 312 00:12:44,766 --> 00:12:46,066 Yeah, I think you're gonna have to make 313 00:12:46,134 --> 00:12:47,200 An end run, you know? 314 00:12:47,268 --> 00:12:48,568 Go right to the commissioner on this one. 315 00:12:48,636 --> 00:12:49,970 You know what, I hadn't thought of that. 316 00:12:50,038 --> 00:12:51,338 That is a really great idea. Yeah? 317 00:12:51,406 --> 00:12:53,373 - I'm gonna do that. - Okay. 318 00:12:53,441 --> 00:12:55,809 Your last resort is probably gonna be city council. 319 00:12:55,877 --> 00:12:59,046 - Good luck there. - Yeah, my thoughts exactly. 320 00:12:59,113 --> 00:13:01,314 I have no idea what I was saying. 321 00:13:01,382 --> 00:13:02,449 I ask you, 322 00:13:02,517 --> 00:13:04,718 Is this too revealing for a public pool? 323 00:13:04,786 --> 00:13:07,387 Kindly get your groin off my desk. 324 00:13:07,455 --> 00:13:11,124 So my body makes you uncomfortable too? 325 00:13:11,192 --> 00:13:13,527 Hey, mark, I'm kind of freaking out 326 00:13:13,594 --> 00:13:15,429 About this historical mansion thing. 327 00:13:15,496 --> 00:13:16,697 Can I talk to you for a second? 328 00:13:16,764 --> 00:13:18,465 I'm actually headed right out the door. 329 00:13:18,533 --> 00:13:20,200 Oh, you're going on a date with Ann? 330 00:13:20,268 --> 00:13:21,802 Uh, yeah, I was gonna surprise her. 331 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,070 Take her to a nice restaurant. 332 00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:24,371 - Don't worry about it. - You sure now? 333 00:13:24,439 --> 00:13:26,373 Yeah. Have a good time. 334 00:13:26,441 --> 00:13:28,642 - How we doing? - Pretty good. 335 00:13:28,710 --> 00:13:32,479 I may have promised a new aquatic center to somebody. 336 00:13:32,547 --> 00:13:33,814 Is that a problem? 337 00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:35,782 I diagnosed two melanomas. 338 00:13:35,850 --> 00:13:36,850 They're both benign. 339 00:13:40,644 --> 00:13:42,612 April was supposed to be the moat 340 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:46,749 That kept the citizen barbarians away from Swanson castle. 341 00:13:46,817 --> 00:13:50,820 Instead, she blew up the castle and stabbed me in the face. 342 00:13:50,887 --> 00:13:56,058 I hired you to do one thing. Just one. 343 00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:58,995 I don't care that you text all day and sleep at your desk. 344 00:13:59,062 --> 00:14:00,963 In fact, I encourage it. 345 00:14:01,031 --> 00:14:04,133 But only because you were doing that one thing... 346 00:14:04,201 --> 00:14:08,137 Keeping this crap off my desk! 347 00:14:08,205 --> 00:14:11,574 Give me five minutes before the next one. 348 00:14:16,947 --> 00:14:18,281 That guy is scary when he's angry. 349 00:14:18,348 --> 00:14:20,383 Yeah, God, I know. 350 00:14:20,450 --> 00:14:24,787 Hey, sorry, dude. I don't need your sympathy. 351 00:14:24,855 --> 00:14:26,055 Or yours. 352 00:14:26,123 --> 00:14:29,692 I wasn't offering my sympathy. 353 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,027 Thank you for meeting me here. 354 00:14:31,094 --> 00:14:33,429 Sure. What's up? 355 00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:34,897 Okay, I need you to get this word for word. 356 00:14:34,965 --> 00:14:37,767 It's a tape recorder so it will. 357 00:14:37,834 --> 00:14:40,236 - Gazebo? More like "Ga-zoinks-Bo." 358 00:14:40,304 --> 00:14:41,604 She may be a former beauty queen, 359 00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:44,206 But today she's the king of destroying history. 360 00:14:44,274 --> 00:14:45,941 Okay, could you just, maybe, talk normally? 361 00:14:46,009 --> 00:14:48,177 - Okay, fine. Ga-zoinks-Bo. 362 00:14:48,245 --> 00:14:49,879 Jessica wicks is throwing a birthday party 363 00:14:49,946 --> 00:14:51,647 For her husband, Nick Newport, Sr., 364 00:14:51,715 --> 00:14:52,848 At the turnbill mansion tonight. 365 00:14:52,916 --> 00:14:55,017 Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there. 366 00:14:58,177 --> 00:14:59,678 So? 367 00:14:59,746 --> 00:15:00,846 Sweetums owns the Pawnee journal. 368 00:15:00,914 --> 00:15:03,181 - Crrr-AP on the cob. 369 00:15:03,249 --> 00:15:05,517 I will take it into consideration. 370 00:15:05,585 --> 00:15:09,521 Thank God! That was it, right? 371 00:15:09,589 --> 00:15:11,924 - Uh, no, there's one more. - Damn it to hell! 372 00:15:11,991 --> 00:15:13,592 It's with me. And it's right now. 373 00:15:13,660 --> 00:15:16,028 And it's about me quitting. 374 00:15:16,095 --> 00:15:19,965 I quit. 375 00:15:20,033 --> 00:15:21,433 I have no other choice, okay? 376 00:15:21,501 --> 00:15:24,670 This is the only rational way I know to prevent this tragedy. 377 00:15:24,737 --> 00:15:26,738 oh, my God. Here they come. 378 00:15:26,806 --> 00:15:28,407 Tom, throw away the key! Seriously? 379 00:15:28,474 --> 00:15:30,943 Yes, throw it! 380 00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:32,277 Out of the way! 381 00:15:32,345 --> 00:15:34,479 Sir, I'm sorry, but you're a little late. 382 00:15:34,547 --> 00:15:36,114 You're gonna have to turn this thing around 383 00:15:36,182 --> 00:15:39,418 'cause you're not getting in here. 384 00:15:39,485 --> 00:15:42,788 My God. Tom, stop him! Jump in front of it! 385 00:15:42,855 --> 00:15:47,025 Sacrifice your tiny body! 386 00:15:50,063 --> 00:15:52,197 Really thought that gate would open in the middle. 387 00:15:55,309 --> 00:15:57,176 Well, the gazebo has been destroyed. 388 00:15:57,244 --> 00:16:00,613 And the thing that bothers me the most-- 389 00:16:00,681 --> 00:16:02,048 Cut it out, Tom. 390 00:16:02,115 --> 00:16:05,518 It never gets old! 391 00:16:05,585 --> 00:16:07,119 Oh, hey, Ann and mark are coming! 392 00:16:07,187 --> 00:16:09,388 Guys, not so close. You're gonna--you're gonna-- 393 00:16:12,548 --> 00:16:14,449 - Sensor. 394 00:16:14,517 --> 00:16:16,251 Sorry if I ruined your evening. 395 00:16:16,319 --> 00:16:18,854 - Leslie, it's totally fine. - I chained myself to a gate. 396 00:16:18,921 --> 00:16:20,589 - I can see that. - Are you okay? 397 00:16:20,656 --> 00:16:23,925 Nothing's bruised but my ego and my arm a little 398 00:16:23,993 --> 00:16:25,660 From the mechanized gate. 399 00:16:25,728 --> 00:16:27,796 Thanks again for letting me take those meetings today. 400 00:16:27,864 --> 00:16:30,298 I've never really had a meeting before. 401 00:16:30,366 --> 00:16:32,467 They're awesome. You're welcome. 402 00:16:32,535 --> 00:16:33,668 Hey, have you seen April around? 403 00:16:33,736 --> 00:16:35,103 She usually comes by at the end of the day. 404 00:16:35,171 --> 00:16:37,005 You might want to check her house. 405 00:16:37,073 --> 00:16:38,340 She quit on me. 406 00:16:38,407 --> 00:16:39,975 What? Why? 407 00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:42,711 She screwed up my entire life today. 408 00:16:42,778 --> 00:16:45,814 That was one mistake. She's perfect for you. 409 00:16:45,882 --> 00:16:47,349 Come on. There's no one in the world 410 00:16:47,416 --> 00:16:50,952 Who's gonna do a better job for you than April. 411 00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:52,487 Either you hire her back or I quit. 412 00:16:52,555 --> 00:16:55,957 - You don't work for me. - And I never will, sir. 413 00:16:56,025 --> 00:16:57,392 Good day. 414 00:17:02,899 --> 00:17:04,866 So what'd you guys talk about at dinner? 415 00:17:04,934 --> 00:17:07,669 Huh? Was it fun? Any big decisions arrived at? 416 00:17:07,737 --> 00:17:10,372 - It was fine. - Uh, do you need a ride home? 417 00:17:10,439 --> 00:17:13,375 No, Tom's gonna take me. You guys go on ahead. 418 00:17:13,442 --> 00:17:14,976 I'm glad you're okay. Call me tomorrow. 419 00:17:15,044 --> 00:17:17,445 Bye, Leslie. 420 00:17:20,950 --> 00:17:24,219 Well, hello there. You must be Ron Swanson. 421 00:17:24,287 --> 00:17:26,054 Well, welcome to castle Ludgate! 422 00:17:28,747 --> 00:17:31,349 - Larry, who is it? - It's Zuzu's boss. 423 00:17:31,416 --> 00:17:34,018 Oho, Ron. Rita Ludgate. 424 00:17:34,086 --> 00:17:37,488 Oh, you have no idea how nice it is to meet you. 425 00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:40,391 Well, oh, come in, for gosh sake. 426 00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:41,559 What can I get you to drink? 427 00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:44,595 Ooh. Could you take your shoes off, please? 428 00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:46,964 Thank you so much. 429 00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:48,466 Uh, nothing to drink. Thanks. 430 00:17:48,533 --> 00:17:51,035 - Oh. - Is April around? 431 00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:53,671 Uh, Zuzu, you have a guest! 432 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:54,805 Well, I'll fetch her. 433 00:17:54,873 --> 00:17:57,575 She's probably on the Internet again. 434 00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,577 - Uh, I'll come with you. - Okay. 435 00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:01,746 Uh, you make yourself at home, Mr. Swanson. 436 00:18:01,813 --> 00:18:06,450 Thank you. 437 00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:11,789 You must be April's sister. I'm Ron. 438 00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:18,029 nice to meet you. 439 00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:21,098 No offense, but I think the normal grieving time 440 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:24,368 For gazebo destruction has passed. 441 00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:26,570 Yeah, well, maybe that's not entirely 442 00:18:26,638 --> 00:18:29,473 What I'm upset about. 443 00:18:29,541 --> 00:18:32,076 Mark and Ann are gonna get married. 444 00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:35,846 Really? Why does that bother you? 445 00:18:35,914 --> 00:18:37,415 I should be the one that's upset. 446 00:18:37,482 --> 00:18:40,351 It was supposed to be me and Ann, or me and Jessica, 447 00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:44,355 Or Ann and Jessica with me watching. 448 00:18:44,423 --> 00:18:46,123 Every time a couple gets married, 449 00:18:48,883 --> 00:18:50,617 I'm about to lose two good friends. 450 00:18:50,685 --> 00:18:51,918 Come on. 451 00:18:51,986 --> 00:18:55,622 They drove over here and cut you down from a gate. 452 00:18:55,690 --> 00:18:57,791 I really don't think you have to worry about them 453 00:18:57,859 --> 00:18:59,660 Abandoning you once you get married. 454 00:18:59,727 --> 00:19:02,062 Yeah, yeah, I know that. In my brain. 455 00:19:02,130 --> 00:19:04,398 - Can we go? - Yeah. Let's go. 456 00:19:04,465 --> 00:19:06,733 I just need to go do one more thing. 457 00:19:06,801 --> 00:19:09,069 - Ah, come on. No! No, no, no. - Yes. 458 00:19:09,137 --> 00:19:12,072 ♪ loving smiles ♪ 459 00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:17,110 ♪ and smiling tears ♪ 460 00:19:17,178 --> 00:19:20,447 ♪ the midnight of my heart ♪ 461 00:19:20,515 --> 00:19:23,550 ♪ is you ♪ Okay, I'm sorry, everyone. 462 00:19:23,618 --> 00:19:27,287 Excuse me. Excuse me. But I need to say something. 463 00:19:27,355 --> 00:19:29,456 - Is that gate lady? - Yes. 464 00:19:29,524 --> 00:19:30,924 I know you're probably thinking 465 00:19:30,992 --> 00:19:33,093 "there's that crazy gate lady from outside back again." 466 00:19:33,161 --> 00:19:34,461 And to some extent, you're right. 467 00:19:34,529 --> 00:19:35,729 I am the gate lady. 468 00:19:35,797 --> 00:19:37,030 But the only thing I'm crazy about 469 00:19:37,098 --> 00:19:38,799 Is leaving the past behind. 470 00:19:38,866 --> 00:19:43,136 So I would like to apologize and raise a glass 471 00:19:43,204 --> 00:19:47,107 To change, and forgiveness, and the future, 472 00:19:47,175 --> 00:19:49,476 And Ann and mark, and happiness, 473 00:19:49,544 --> 00:19:51,144 And Nick Newport, Sr. 474 00:19:51,212 --> 00:19:54,548 May all your future gazebos live long and prosper. 475 00:19:54,615 --> 00:19:56,750 Please leave. 476 00:19:56,818 --> 00:19:59,252 Is it weird if I ask to take a piece of cake with me? 477 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,655 I won't. Go. 478 00:20:01,723 --> 00:20:05,058 Why are you here? 479 00:20:05,549 --> 00:20:08,450 - Come back to work. - No. 480 00:20:08,518 --> 00:20:12,988 Come back. I want you to come back. 481 00:20:13,056 --> 00:20:16,292 Well, I don't want to come back. The end. 482 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:18,661 I was talking to Andy about you. 483 00:20:18,728 --> 00:20:22,431 And he made me realize that I need you back at work. 484 00:20:22,499 --> 00:20:24,767 - What did he say? - Don't recall. 485 00:20:24,834 --> 00:20:28,437 - Fine. I'll come back. - Good. 486 00:20:28,505 --> 00:20:31,574 Okay. I'm leaving. 487 00:20:31,641 --> 00:20:35,477 Bye, Zuzu. Bye, Duke Silver. 488 00:20:39,416 --> 00:20:41,984 My mom has all your albums. 489 00:20:42,052 --> 00:20:44,019 I recognized you the day we met. 490 00:20:44,087 --> 00:20:46,956 - Have you told anyone? - No. 491 00:20:47,023 --> 00:20:49,858 Good girl. 492 00:20:52,580 --> 00:20:53,646 Excuse me. 493 00:20:53,714 --> 00:20:55,382 I had a meeting with Ron Swanson yesterday, 494 00:20:55,449 --> 00:20:56,750 But I have a little car trouble. 495 00:20:56,817 --> 00:20:58,251 Sorry, he's busy right now. 496 00:20:58,319 --> 00:21:00,920 Oh. Uh, well, well, can I reschedule? 497 00:21:00,988 --> 00:21:06,359 Sure. Hmm. How about June 50th? 498 00:21:06,427 --> 00:21:08,461 You should come back today at 2:65? 499 00:21:08,529 --> 00:21:11,398 He's available then. What is going on? 500 00:21:11,465 --> 00:21:12,999 Looks like the only other day he has open 501 00:21:13,067 --> 00:21:14,467 Is March-tember one-teenth. 502 00:21:14,535 --> 00:21:19,572 Does that work, sir? 503 00:21:19,573 --> 00:21:22,573 Sync by kuniva for addic7ed.com