1 00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,757 I would totally shine his little shoes for free. 2 00:00:15,824 --> 00:00:18,292 - Aw. - I do say the cutest stuff. 3 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:20,461 Look, I love a good dog as much as the next guy, 4 00:00:20,529 --> 00:00:22,663 But this building doesn't allow animals. 5 00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:25,631 Andy, take him outside. And shoot him? 6 00:00:25,698 --> 00:00:29,489 - No. Just keep him outside. - Oh, come on, Ron. 7 00:00:29,557 --> 00:00:33,120 I'm just a little puppy. I ain't done nothing wrong. 8 00:00:33,188 --> 00:00:37,436 I'm just a puppy. Mm. I like your mustache. 9 00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:40,301 I wish I could have one, but I can't. 10 00:00:40,369 --> 00:00:45,300 'cause I'm just a little puppy. Mm, mm, mmm. 11 00:00:45,368 --> 00:00:47,132 Okay, take him out and shoot him. 12 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:57,200 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 13 00:01:07,255 --> 00:01:09,924 - Fire! Fire! Fire! - What? Where? 14 00:01:09,991 --> 00:01:11,257 In my belly. 15 00:01:11,325 --> 00:01:14,329 Because the "24-hour Pawnee cares diabetes telethon" 16 00:01:14,396 --> 00:01:15,730 Starts tonight. 17 00:01:15,797 --> 00:01:18,065 Goodie. Let us know how it went. 18 00:01:18,133 --> 00:01:20,536 Every year, Pawnee cares teams up 19 00:01:20,604 --> 00:01:22,104 With the local cable access station 20 00:01:22,172 --> 00:01:23,939 To raise money for diabetes research. 21 00:01:24,006 --> 00:01:25,141 And it's important, 22 00:01:25,208 --> 00:01:27,843 Because Pawnee is the fourth fattest town 23 00:01:27,911 --> 00:01:29,245 In the u.S. 24 00:01:29,313 --> 00:01:32,314 Goes us, uh, Dallas, Tulsa, 25 00:01:32,382 --> 00:01:34,716 And certain parts of the mall of America. 26 00:01:34,784 --> 00:01:35,783 Well, this year, 27 00:01:35,851 --> 00:01:38,318 I get to program my own four-hour block. 28 00:01:38,386 --> 00:01:40,253 I know. Exciting. 29 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:43,155 So, um, I've signed you all up for multiple shifts. 30 00:01:43,222 --> 00:01:45,990 Yeah. Just to answer phones and provide moral support. 31 00:01:46,058 --> 00:01:48,226 - From when to when? - Tonight. 32 00:01:48,293 --> 00:01:50,128 From 2:00 am to 6:00 am. 33 00:01:50,196 --> 00:01:51,563 - What? - What? 34 00:01:51,631 --> 00:01:54,934 Leslie, please. Tonight's kind of a big night. 35 00:01:55,001 --> 00:01:58,204 You know, all my kids are away and... 36 00:01:58,272 --> 00:02:00,606 Gross! No! It's jerry's sex night! 37 00:02:00,674 --> 00:02:02,107 That ruins sex and tonight. 38 00:02:02,175 --> 00:02:03,876 - Look, why don't you put on one of these t-shirts? 39 00:02:03,944 --> 00:02:05,043 It'll get you in the mood. 40 00:02:05,111 --> 00:02:06,912 I stayed up all night last night making these. 41 00:02:06,980 --> 00:02:08,179 You stayed up all night 42 00:02:08,247 --> 00:02:10,014 The night before an all-night telethon. 43 00:02:10,082 --> 00:02:12,516 Yes. And here's why. Boom. 44 00:02:12,584 --> 00:02:14,618 - "diabetes. Let's dia-beat-this." 45 00:02:14,686 --> 00:02:16,921 Yeah. Four hours to come up with the slogan. 46 00:02:16,988 --> 00:02:19,423 Four hours to embroider them. 47 00:02:19,490 --> 00:02:22,025 - Time well spent. - Salad sucks. 48 00:02:22,092 --> 00:02:24,026 There. I said it. Feel better? 49 00:02:24,094 --> 00:02:26,528 - Yeah. - I've been doing some thinking. 50 00:02:26,596 --> 00:02:28,430 I'm not gonna ask Ann to move in with me. 51 00:02:28,498 --> 00:02:29,531 Why? Is something wrong? 52 00:02:29,599 --> 00:02:30,699 No. I'm gonna ask her to marry me. 53 00:02:30,767 --> 00:02:32,334 I love her. 54 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,637 And, uh, I want a partner. Horseback. 55 00:02:34,705 --> 00:02:36,473 You should ask her on horseback. 56 00:02:36,540 --> 00:02:38,474 No. You should ask her in a hot air balloon. 57 00:02:38,542 --> 00:02:40,343 No. She should be on a hot air balloon 58 00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:41,611 And you should ride up on horseback. 59 00:02:41,679 --> 00:02:43,280 Oh, wait. She's in a balloon. 60 00:02:43,347 --> 00:02:45,149 You ride up on horseback. You point to the sky. 61 00:02:45,216 --> 00:02:46,917 Up there, skywriting "marry me, Ann." 62 00:02:46,985 --> 00:02:49,453 I think I can figure out the right way to ask her. 63 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,388 How you ask someone to marry you is a very big deal. 64 00:02:52,456 --> 00:02:54,390 I mean, they have to repeat that story 65 00:02:54,458 --> 00:02:55,658 For the rest of their lives. 66 00:02:55,726 --> 00:02:56,992 So you think I should do it, though? 67 00:02:57,060 --> 00:02:58,327 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. 68 00:02:58,394 --> 00:03:00,129 Can you get five eagles? No, get ten eagles. 69 00:03:00,196 --> 00:03:01,630 - Leslie. - No, it's you're life. 70 00:03:01,697 --> 00:03:03,064 Get as many eagles as you want. 71 00:03:03,132 --> 00:03:05,433 So, tom, you're in for tonight, right? 72 00:03:05,501 --> 00:03:06,567 I forgot to tell you 73 00:03:06,635 --> 00:03:08,135 I can't make it to the telethon tonight 74 00:03:08,203 --> 00:03:10,471 Because I have no interest in being there. 75 00:03:10,539 --> 00:03:11,739 Okay, you're in charge 76 00:03:11,807 --> 00:03:13,875 Of the v.I.P. Special telethon guest. 77 00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:15,143 And you're never gonna believe who I got. 78 00:03:15,211 --> 00:03:16,244 People are gonna freak out. 79 00:03:16,312 --> 00:03:17,612 - Rihanna. - No. 80 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,182 - Dr. Oz. - No. You're never gonna guess. 81 00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:23,185 - Justin Bieber. - No. 82 00:03:23,253 --> 00:03:27,523 Ex-Indiana pacers small forward Detlef Schrempf. 83 00:03:27,591 --> 00:03:30,292 The Detlef Schrempf? 84 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,394 I know! So it's really exciting. 85 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,529 And I need you to be his body man. 86 00:03:34,597 --> 00:03:37,031 Pick him up at the airport at 7:00 pm and then, you know, 87 00:03:37,099 --> 00:03:38,566 Just entertain him because he doesn't need 88 00:03:38,634 --> 00:03:40,001 To be in hair and makeup until 2:00 am. 89 00:03:40,068 --> 00:03:42,403 Does Pawnee cable access even have hair and makeup? 90 00:03:42,470 --> 00:03:44,238 Well, they have a communal lipstick 91 00:03:44,305 --> 00:03:46,373 And a box of combs. 92 00:03:46,441 --> 00:03:48,008 As a nurse and as your friend, 93 00:03:48,075 --> 00:03:49,442 I highly suggest you don't try to stay up 94 00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:50,877 For the next 24 hours. 95 00:03:50,945 --> 00:03:52,212 I can definitely do it. 96 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,348 I've already been up for 24 hours. 97 00:03:54,415 --> 00:03:58,618 But I have a secret weapon. 98 00:03:58,686 --> 00:04:00,019 Nutriyum bars? Leslie. 99 00:04:00,087 --> 00:04:01,988 I know. I know. They're terrible. 100 00:04:02,055 --> 00:04:04,757 But they give me an insane 15-minute burst. 101 00:04:04,824 --> 00:04:07,126 Plus my Nana used to tell me "you'll sleep when you're dead." 102 00:04:07,193 --> 00:04:08,827 My Nana, she used to say the best stuff. 103 00:04:08,895 --> 00:04:11,230 "don't work yourself into a lather." 104 00:04:11,297 --> 00:04:12,731 "look where it is and you'll find it." 105 00:04:12,799 --> 00:04:14,099 "don't put me in a home." 106 00:04:14,167 --> 00:04:15,535 "tell the truth and shame the devil." 107 00:04:15,602 --> 00:04:17,136 "the devil knows where you're hiding." 108 00:04:17,204 --> 00:04:18,704 "if you take enough rides with the devil, 109 00:04:18,772 --> 00:04:20,974 Pretty soon he's gonna drive." 110 00:04:21,041 --> 00:04:22,476 She was really into the devil. 111 00:04:22,543 --> 00:04:24,544 I have not checked in with you lately. 112 00:04:24,611 --> 00:04:26,045 I'm randomly and casually asking 113 00:04:26,113 --> 00:04:27,681 How are things going with mark? 114 00:04:27,748 --> 00:04:30,217 - Things are good. - Do you think he's the one? 115 00:04:30,284 --> 00:04:32,853 The one? I don't know. Maybe. 116 00:04:32,921 --> 00:04:35,289 - Good. - I'm here. 117 00:04:35,356 --> 00:04:36,556 What do I have to do? 118 00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:39,660 Um, I have you on phone answering duty 119 00:04:39,727 --> 00:04:41,662 From 4:00 to 6:00 am. 120 00:04:41,730 --> 00:04:44,432 That's horrible. I have to nap up. 121 00:04:44,499 --> 00:04:47,702 If I don't get a solid five, it kills my sunny disposition. 122 00:04:47,769 --> 00:04:50,104 Got enough leg room back there? 123 00:04:50,172 --> 00:04:52,372 Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to sit so far up. 124 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,074 Yeah, I do. 125 00:04:54,142 --> 00:04:56,443 So...Detlef Schrempf... 126 00:04:56,511 --> 00:04:58,278 Three-time NBA all-star. 127 00:04:58,346 --> 00:04:59,979 Two-time six-man award winner. 128 00:05:00,047 --> 00:05:01,815 Must've been pretty cool to be traded to the pacers 129 00:05:01,882 --> 00:05:05,018 In exchange for veteran center herb Williams. 130 00:05:05,086 --> 00:05:07,186 So you looked me up on Wikipedia, huh? 131 00:05:07,254 --> 00:05:10,423 No. Everybody knows that. 132 00:05:10,490 --> 00:05:13,226 Just like everybody knows you appeared in two episodes 133 00:05:13,293 --> 00:05:17,130 Of the German soap opera gute Zeiten, schlechte Zeiten. 134 00:05:17,197 --> 00:05:18,798 What, you a big fan of that show? 135 00:05:18,866 --> 00:05:19,899 Huge fan. 136 00:05:19,967 --> 00:05:22,135 Huh? Oh, 6'10". 137 00:05:22,203 --> 00:05:26,639 - I'm 5'6" and three-quarters. 138 00:05:26,707 --> 00:05:28,074 All right, team, you guys psyched? 139 00:05:28,142 --> 00:05:29,542 Just remember, all you need to do 140 00:05:29,610 --> 00:05:31,010 Is take down everybody's name and address 141 00:05:31,078 --> 00:05:32,913 And ask them how much they want to donate. 142 00:05:32,981 --> 00:05:34,214 Hey, do these phones dial out? 143 00:05:34,282 --> 00:05:36,417 - Yes. Why? - No reason. 144 00:05:36,484 --> 00:05:38,953 Leslie, you know what, my phone has 25 lines. 145 00:05:39,021 --> 00:05:40,555 I think it might be a switchboard. 146 00:05:40,622 --> 00:05:42,423 Congratulations then. You got the most lines. 147 00:05:42,491 --> 00:05:44,726 Figure it out, jerry. Come on, jerry. 148 00:05:44,794 --> 00:05:46,595 Everyone else has one line. 149 00:05:46,662 --> 00:05:49,097 Oh, so, Leslie, 150 00:05:49,164 --> 00:05:51,432 I hear you're gonna be in front of the camera this year. 151 00:05:51,499 --> 00:05:53,367 - Yeah. It's exciting. - Cut the chatter. 152 00:05:53,435 --> 00:05:56,403 Telehosting not as easy as it looks, okay? 153 00:05:56,471 --> 00:05:59,939 This isn't c-span. This is local access 46. 154 00:06:00,007 --> 00:06:02,709 Don't blow it. 155 00:06:02,776 --> 00:06:03,943 Good evening and welcome 156 00:06:04,011 --> 00:06:07,780 To the 10th annual Pawnee cares diabetes telethon. 157 00:06:07,848 --> 00:06:10,750 I'm Pawnee today's Joan Callamezzo. 158 00:06:10,818 --> 00:06:13,654 And I am not a crook. Brr. 159 00:06:13,722 --> 00:06:15,189 No, he's not. 160 00:06:15,257 --> 00:06:17,358 What time is it? I'm tired already. 161 00:06:17,426 --> 00:06:19,093 It's 8:03. 162 00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:21,596 Your shift doesn't start for another six hours. 163 00:06:21,664 --> 00:06:22,831 Ugh. 164 00:06:22,899 --> 00:06:25,501 Diabetes. Yuck. 165 00:06:25,568 --> 00:06:27,803 Tonight we're hoping the people of Pawnee 166 00:06:27,871 --> 00:06:31,306 Dig their big, chubby hands into their plus-sized pockets 167 00:06:31,374 --> 00:06:32,874 And donate generously. 168 00:06:32,942 --> 00:06:35,143 We're wacky stuff. 169 00:06:35,210 --> 00:06:36,377 Stop it. 170 00:06:36,445 --> 00:06:39,980 Coming up, a very special video presentation 171 00:06:40,048 --> 00:06:43,783 Called "even my tongue is fat: The story of Pawnee." 172 00:06:43,851 --> 00:06:45,818 But right now, to begin with, 173 00:06:45,886 --> 00:06:48,321 Let's start things off on our telethon with a song. 174 00:06:48,388 --> 00:06:53,193 From Pawnee's most bookable personality, Denise Yermley! 175 00:06:57,432 --> 00:07:00,902 ♪ sweet dreams of made of this ♪ 176 00:07:00,969 --> 00:07:01,970 Pawnee cares. 177 00:07:02,037 --> 00:07:03,238 Hello. Hello. Here we go. 178 00:07:03,306 --> 00:07:04,739 Head up there. Thank you. Yeah, $50 is great. 179 00:07:04,807 --> 00:07:08,477 - Hello. Who--Pawnee... - Pawnee cares. 180 00:07:08,545 --> 00:07:12,180 Who's next? I feel great. Everything is running smoothly. 181 00:07:12,248 --> 00:07:14,149 ♪ some of them want to use me ♪ 182 00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:17,052 ♪ some of them want ♪ 183 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,754 Clipboard mouth. Clipboard mouth. 184 00:07:19,822 --> 00:07:22,123 There's some secret ingredient in these nutriyum bars 185 00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:23,725 That make me feel so good. 186 00:07:23,793 --> 00:07:26,895 Sugar. It's a block of sugar. 187 00:07:26,962 --> 00:07:27,896 Aah! 188 00:07:27,964 --> 00:07:31,400 Leslie. 189 00:07:31,468 --> 00:07:33,402 Leslie! Tigers. 190 00:07:33,470 --> 00:07:35,204 Hey, you told me to wake you up at 1:45. 191 00:07:35,272 --> 00:07:36,339 - Yeah. - It's 1:45 now. 192 00:07:36,407 --> 00:07:37,674 I'm up. 193 00:07:37,741 --> 00:07:39,442 Oh, I need to pull it together. My slot's coming up. 194 00:07:39,510 --> 00:07:40,710 Hey, before you go on, 195 00:07:40,778 --> 00:07:42,079 Can I just talk to you about something? 196 00:07:42,146 --> 00:07:44,882 Uh, wait a minute. Sorry. 197 00:07:44,950 --> 00:07:47,084 It's tom. He may have a Schrempf problem. 198 00:07:47,152 --> 00:07:48,319 - Okay. - You understand. 199 00:07:48,386 --> 00:07:49,987 - I do. Take it. - Okay. To be continued, Ann. 200 00:07:50,055 --> 00:07:51,388 I promise. We'll talk later. 201 00:07:51,456 --> 00:07:52,522 - Yes. - Okay. 202 00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:54,491 Hey, hi. Are you on your way? 203 00:07:54,559 --> 00:07:57,261 The snakehole is booming! 204 00:07:57,328 --> 00:08:00,097 People are loving Detlef Schrempf. 205 00:08:00,165 --> 00:08:01,598 I had no idea professional athletes 206 00:08:01,666 --> 00:08:02,933 Were so popular. 207 00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:04,101 That's awesome. 208 00:08:04,169 --> 00:08:05,335 But you promised to get him here. 209 00:08:05,403 --> 00:08:06,770 Get him here. Don't worry. 210 00:08:06,838 --> 00:08:08,906 We're leaving soon, all right? Bye. 211 00:08:08,973 --> 00:08:10,374 Whoa, you can't leave. 212 00:08:10,442 --> 00:08:12,743 Tommy, this is the most business the club's done in months. 213 00:08:12,811 --> 00:08:14,311 But I got to get him to the telethon. 214 00:08:14,379 --> 00:08:18,349 He's not going anywhere. 215 00:08:18,416 --> 00:08:20,184 Okay. Oh, god. Problem! 216 00:08:20,251 --> 00:08:23,086 Um, Andy, I know I told you that you were going on 217 00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:24,888 At 3:00 am after the Detlef Schrempf 218 00:08:24,956 --> 00:08:26,323 Interview and career retrospective, 219 00:08:26,391 --> 00:08:27,525 But you're going on now. 220 00:08:27,592 --> 00:08:28,592 You're kicking things off. 221 00:08:28,660 --> 00:08:30,895 Whoa. Sweet. Headlining. 222 00:08:30,962 --> 00:08:33,330 Yeah, at 2:00 on cable access. 223 00:08:33,398 --> 00:08:35,566 Yeah. Let's go. 224 00:08:39,171 --> 00:08:40,737 So how are things going with you two? 225 00:08:40,805 --> 00:08:42,806 They're going really well. We're gonna get married. 226 00:08:42,874 --> 00:08:44,475 And I'm pregnant with his child. 227 00:08:45,878 --> 00:08:47,779 Thank you, Joan. 228 00:08:47,847 --> 00:08:49,748 There are two types of diabetes, 229 00:08:49,816 --> 00:08:51,950 But only one type of caring. 230 00:08:52,018 --> 00:08:54,420 Type-1 caring. 231 00:08:54,488 --> 00:08:56,355 And tonight, god willing, 232 00:08:56,423 --> 00:08:58,291 We will all be stricken with that. 233 00:08:58,358 --> 00:09:00,126 There's a lot of fun stuff coming up. 234 00:09:00,193 --> 00:09:02,963 Indiana pacers legend Detlef Schrempf 235 00:09:03,030 --> 00:09:05,465 Will be joining us in the studio later on. 236 00:09:05,533 --> 00:09:06,700 Uh, but until then, 237 00:09:06,768 --> 00:09:08,002 I would like to introduce 238 00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:10,937 One of the hottest bands in Pawnee. 239 00:09:11,005 --> 00:09:13,906 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you mouse rat. 240 00:09:13,974 --> 00:09:17,643 ♪ I know that life is crazy ♪ 241 00:09:17,710 --> 00:09:21,779 Well, okay, slight hiccup, but we're back on track. 242 00:09:21,847 --> 00:09:22,947 See the board? 243 00:09:23,015 --> 00:09:24,582 When my shift is done, 244 00:09:24,649 --> 00:09:27,484 That board is gonna read $20,000. 245 00:09:31,356 --> 00:09:32,623 Pawnee cares. 246 00:09:32,691 --> 00:09:35,193 Hi, yes, I'd like to donate $50, please. 247 00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:38,496 - Mm-hmm. Leslie? 248 00:09:40,005 --> 00:09:41,539 ♪ you got sex hair ♪ 249 00:09:41,606 --> 00:09:43,207 ♪ you got it from me, girl ♪ 250 00:09:43,275 --> 00:09:44,976 ♪ sex hair ♪ 251 00:09:45,044 --> 00:09:48,079 God, we're not getting any donations coming in. 252 00:09:48,147 --> 00:09:49,614 I'm tired of waiting for people to call us. 253 00:09:49,682 --> 00:09:51,182 Let's call them. Everybody call somebody. 254 00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:52,550 Leslie, it's the middle of the night. 255 00:09:52,617 --> 00:09:53,851 Well, then good. They'll be home. 256 00:09:53,918 --> 00:09:55,486 Donna, someone good? No. 257 00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:56,954 I'm talking to my brother George. 258 00:09:57,022 --> 00:09:58,888 You're not supposed to receive personal phone calls. 259 00:09:58,956 --> 00:10:00,190 Oh, I called him. 260 00:10:00,257 --> 00:10:01,824 He's in Liberia visiting my uncle. 261 00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:03,993 Wants to know what happened on lost. 262 00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:05,661 - Oh, thank god. - There you go. 263 00:10:05,729 --> 00:10:08,129 Thank you. 264 00:10:08,197 --> 00:10:09,697 Did you put cream in this? 265 00:10:09,765 --> 00:10:13,201 - Uh, yeah. Did I screw up? - No. I can drink it. 266 00:10:13,269 --> 00:10:14,636 Guys, has anyone seen tom? 267 00:10:14,704 --> 00:10:17,105 The ultimate celebrity, I think, to hang out with 268 00:10:17,173 --> 00:10:21,010 For a night would be criss angel. 269 00:10:21,077 --> 00:10:22,478 Like, you'll be talking to him 270 00:10:22,546 --> 00:10:25,481 And then he would just turn into fire. Ha ha ha! 271 00:10:25,548 --> 00:10:28,584 Brooks brothers boys is, like, the cuts are slimmer 272 00:10:28,652 --> 00:10:29,785 And it's cheaper. 273 00:10:29,853 --> 00:10:31,253 Win, win. 274 00:10:31,321 --> 00:10:33,221 You ever talk to someone and you're just, like, 275 00:10:33,289 --> 00:10:35,290 "oh, we're gonna be best friends"? 276 00:10:35,358 --> 00:10:37,025 I'm getting that, like, right now. 277 00:10:37,093 --> 00:10:41,195 He had two beers. Light beers. 278 00:10:41,263 --> 00:10:43,897 I need you to make that out to Wendy. 279 00:10:43,965 --> 00:10:46,266 "tom is an amazing guy. 280 00:10:46,334 --> 00:10:48,301 "you never should have left him. 281 00:10:48,369 --> 00:10:50,036 "you made a huge mistaken in your life. 282 00:10:50,104 --> 00:10:52,005 "and you're probably gonna die alone. 283 00:10:52,073 --> 00:10:53,507 Love, Detlef." 284 00:10:53,575 --> 00:10:54,742 Do you know what, 285 00:10:54,810 --> 00:10:56,344 I think we should be heading to that telethon. 286 00:10:56,411 --> 00:10:58,547 Yes. We will definitely go to the telethon soon. 287 00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:00,215 After this song! 288 00:11:00,283 --> 00:11:02,217 ♪ hopped up out the bed ♪ 289 00:11:02,285 --> 00:11:04,653 ♪ turn my swag on ♪ 290 00:11:04,721 --> 00:11:07,123 ♪ took a look in the mirror, said "what's up?" ♪ 291 00:11:07,191 --> 00:11:11,793 Ron. Ron, wake up. 292 00:11:13,296 --> 00:11:14,229 Ron, wake up. It's Leslie. 293 00:11:14,297 --> 00:11:15,664 Ah! Gah! 294 00:11:15,732 --> 00:11:17,132 Were you having a bad dream? 295 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,735 No. I suffer from a disorder called "sleep fighting." 296 00:11:20,803 --> 00:11:23,971 - Wow, that must be terrible. - Only when I'm losing. 297 00:11:24,039 --> 00:11:25,639 Look, I'm freaking out, okay? 298 00:11:25,707 --> 00:11:28,409 Tom is not here. And he's got Detlef Schrempf. 299 00:11:28,476 --> 00:11:30,110 And I have three hours to fill. 300 00:11:30,178 --> 00:11:32,112 I'm sure you'll figure something out. 301 00:11:32,179 --> 00:11:33,981 Don't go back to sleep, okay? I need you to wake up! 302 00:11:34,049 --> 00:11:36,684 Ron, come on! Help me! 303 00:11:36,752 --> 00:11:38,086 Attaboy. 304 00:11:38,153 --> 00:11:41,690 I am only here because I owe Leslie a thousand favors. 305 00:11:41,758 --> 00:11:44,026 I'm not big on charities. 306 00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:47,497 Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. 307 00:11:47,565 --> 00:11:51,368 Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. 308 00:11:51,436 --> 00:11:54,471 He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard. 309 00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:01,244 Okay, that was the national anthem of Canada. 310 00:12:01,312 --> 00:12:05,982 And now I'm going to see how long I can hold a d-chord. 311 00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:09,119 April, will you call some of the rec center teachers 312 00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:10,254 And see if they want to come on down 313 00:12:10,322 --> 00:12:11,489 And show off their special skills? 314 00:12:11,556 --> 00:12:12,656 Yes. Nod your head "yes." 315 00:12:12,724 --> 00:12:16,227 I can do magic. 316 00:12:16,295 --> 00:12:17,361 Egg, milady? 317 00:12:17,429 --> 00:12:19,230 Jerry, that's disgusting and fake! 318 00:12:19,298 --> 00:12:21,466 Oh, my god. It's real. Go up there and do that. 319 00:12:21,534 --> 00:12:23,735 - I--you broke my egg. - You don't have a second egg? 320 00:12:23,803 --> 00:12:25,137 No, but I'm a very good piano player. 321 00:12:25,205 --> 00:12:26,639 I'd be happy to go up there and give it a shot. 322 00:12:26,707 --> 00:12:30,409 Why are you wasting my time? This is really serious! 323 00:12:30,477 --> 00:12:32,444 You go keep your eye out for tom. 324 00:12:32,512 --> 00:12:34,179 I got this covered. 325 00:12:34,247 --> 00:12:36,548 When re-caning an old chair, 326 00:12:36,615 --> 00:12:39,617 One needs to make sure that one has all the right elements 327 00:12:39,684 --> 00:12:40,617 In place. 328 00:12:40,685 --> 00:12:43,019 Over. Under. 329 00:12:43,087 --> 00:12:46,689 And...You guessed it. Over. 330 00:12:46,757 --> 00:12:48,825 God, he's actually losing money. 331 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:53,330 Over. Under. This chair's almost caning itself. 332 00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:57,735 - No, sir. If you want to make a donation, you have to-- 333 00:12:57,803 --> 00:13:00,738 Yeah, that sounds really cool. 334 00:13:00,806 --> 00:13:04,443 You sound cool. You sound really strong. 335 00:13:04,510 --> 00:13:06,245 Hey, why don't you forget about the donation 336 00:13:06,312 --> 00:13:09,215 And just come down here and meet me in person. 337 00:13:09,282 --> 00:13:12,618 What? Oh, my god. 338 00:13:12,686 --> 00:13:17,323 You're so...Funny and you're--funny. Bye. 339 00:13:17,390 --> 00:13:19,592 Hi. Hey. 340 00:13:19,659 --> 00:13:20,993 Funny girl you were talking to? 341 00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:23,562 When it comes to preparing taxes... 342 00:13:23,630 --> 00:13:25,865 Oh, my god. This is a disaster. 343 00:13:25,932 --> 00:13:28,167 The only thing that's taxing 344 00:13:28,234 --> 00:13:30,635 Is deciding which software to buy. 345 00:13:30,703 --> 00:13:32,504 I am completely screwed. 346 00:13:32,572 --> 00:13:34,773 I have no Schrempf, no backup plan, 347 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,141 No more nutriyum bars. 348 00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:39,910 What do people want to watch? Cute animals on a bike? 349 00:13:39,978 --> 00:13:41,612 No time to train one. 350 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:43,514 Hot people kissing? 351 00:13:43,581 --> 00:13:46,083 I don't know, maybe mark and Ann would... 352 00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,553 Have you ever seen this man sleep? 353 00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:51,589 It's like underwater ballet. 354 00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:53,991 - I have a great idea. - Uh, what's that? 355 00:13:54,059 --> 00:13:57,828 - I think you should propose to Ann tonight--today-- 356 00:13:57,896 --> 00:14:01,533 Whatever it is-- on camera for diabetes. 357 00:14:01,601 --> 00:14:05,170 - Really? - Yes. I would be so cool. 358 00:14:05,238 --> 00:14:06,839 Don't you remember when Ahmad Rashad proposed 359 00:14:06,907 --> 00:14:08,341 To Mrs. Cosby on TV? 360 00:14:08,408 --> 00:14:10,876 - No. - I do. And most women do. 361 00:14:10,944 --> 00:14:14,480 - On television though. - Yes, but... 362 00:14:14,548 --> 00:14:15,614 Oh, my god. 363 00:14:15,682 --> 00:14:17,216 We talked about it being something big. 364 00:14:17,284 --> 00:14:18,550 Right. 365 00:14:18,618 --> 00:14:20,118 And I don't think we can get a hot air balloon 366 00:14:20,186 --> 00:14:21,119 This time of night. 367 00:14:21,187 --> 00:14:23,821 I have my grandma's ring. 368 00:14:23,889 --> 00:14:26,290 I guess I could go home and get it. 369 00:14:26,358 --> 00:14:29,192 Is there a story behind it? Was she on the titanic? 370 00:14:29,260 --> 00:14:31,028 Was she on the titanic? 371 00:14:31,095 --> 00:14:33,363 No. She was just my grandma. 372 00:14:33,431 --> 00:14:37,368 It would make a great story. I trust Leslie. 373 00:14:37,435 --> 00:14:40,939 I don't know. What do you think I should do? 374 00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:44,943 And that concludes a quick look 375 00:14:45,011 --> 00:14:47,179 At quickbook--s pro. 376 00:14:47,247 --> 00:14:49,916 - Quickbook--s! 377 00:14:49,984 --> 00:14:53,420 Okay. Thank you so much, Barney, for...That. 378 00:14:53,487 --> 00:14:56,789 Thank you. Um...Go. 379 00:14:56,857 --> 00:14:58,224 We'd like to make a quick announcement. 380 00:14:58,291 --> 00:15:01,494 Detlef Schrempf is temporary, um, delayed. 381 00:15:01,562 --> 00:15:04,264 But, uh, coming soon, a really amazing thing 382 00:15:04,332 --> 00:15:05,331 Is going to happen. 383 00:15:05,399 --> 00:15:07,033 So get your wallets out 384 00:15:07,101 --> 00:15:08,868 Or get your handkerchiefs out. 385 00:15:08,936 --> 00:15:11,271 Or get your tissues out if you're like me 386 00:15:11,339 --> 00:15:12,840 And think handkerchiefs are gross. 387 00:15:12,907 --> 00:15:16,443 For now, please, let's take a look at this moving video 388 00:15:16,511 --> 00:15:21,516 The widening of America. 389 00:15:23,219 --> 00:15:26,922 No. Ann. Wait. Ann. Ann! Where are you going? 390 00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:28,290 Just stay a little while longer. 391 00:15:28,358 --> 00:15:30,058 Leslie, I'm so beat. 392 00:15:30,126 --> 00:15:31,526 I'm so sorry that I've been crazy. 393 00:15:31,594 --> 00:15:32,894 What did you want to talk to me about? 394 00:15:32,962 --> 00:15:34,462 Oh, no worries. It can wait. 395 00:15:34,530 --> 00:15:36,931 No, no. What is it? 396 00:15:36,999 --> 00:15:38,966 I think I need to break up with mark. 397 00:15:44,140 --> 00:15:45,341 I've just been feeling for a while 398 00:15:45,408 --> 00:15:46,509 Like something's missing. 399 00:15:46,576 --> 00:15:48,511 And I kept thinking about the question 400 00:15:48,578 --> 00:15:51,614 You asked me today about whether or not he's the one. 401 00:15:51,681 --> 00:15:54,216 And he's not. Mark really loves you. 402 00:15:54,283 --> 00:15:57,219 I think he's ready to take this to the next step. 403 00:15:57,287 --> 00:15:59,154 He doesn't know what he's ready for, 404 00:15:59,221 --> 00:16:00,555 But I think I do. 405 00:16:00,623 --> 00:16:02,124 Guess you're just gonna have to marry him 406 00:16:02,192 --> 00:16:03,192 And figure it out. 407 00:16:03,259 --> 00:16:04,526 - No. - No. No. 408 00:16:04,594 --> 00:16:06,128 Why would you do that? No. No. 409 00:16:06,195 --> 00:16:08,730 No. No. Good for you, Ann. 410 00:16:08,798 --> 00:16:12,134 Hey, mark, it's Leslie. Um, change of plans. 411 00:16:12,201 --> 00:16:14,170 Can you call me back? Tom, get here! Now! 412 00:16:14,237 --> 00:16:16,906 Call me! Bye! Hey, Leslie, it's Leslie. 413 00:16:16,974 --> 00:16:20,844 Hang in there. I love you. Bye. 414 00:16:20,912 --> 00:16:24,715 - Please be April. April? - Yeah? 415 00:16:24,783 --> 00:16:27,151 It's Joe. From the phone. I made you laugh. 416 00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:29,688 You said come down. 417 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:31,356 Listen, my van's out back. Let's roll. 418 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:34,626 - Ew. No. Please leave. - Where you going? 419 00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:37,730 - Hey. What's up? - Is this guy bothering you? 420 00:16:37,798 --> 00:16:40,499 No. I'm bothering you for bothering her. 421 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:41,867 Are you her bodyguard? 422 00:16:41,935 --> 00:16:43,569 I mean, she's an adult. 423 00:16:43,637 --> 00:16:45,037 I think she can decide on her own 424 00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:46,405 What train she wants to ride. 425 00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:48,240 - It's time to go. - Whatever, man. 426 00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:49,809 I work for the sewage department. 427 00:16:49,877 --> 00:16:51,878 I'm up to my waist in hot snizz. 428 00:16:51,946 --> 00:16:54,481 - Take a walk. Bye-bye. 429 00:16:58,686 --> 00:17:01,989 Okay. Heads. 430 00:17:02,056 --> 00:17:04,858 Oh, boy. What is gonna happen next? 431 00:17:04,926 --> 00:17:07,260 Okay, my second favorite episode, 432 00:17:07,328 --> 00:17:09,162 Monica's making dinner. 433 00:17:09,230 --> 00:17:11,331 And joey is mad at chandler 434 00:17:11,399 --> 00:17:12,599 Because chandler made out with his girlfriend. 435 00:17:12,667 --> 00:17:14,100 So joey says, "get in the box." 436 00:17:14,168 --> 00:17:16,369 I forgot to tell you there's a box. 437 00:17:16,437 --> 00:17:18,138 Oh, and it's thanksgiving day. 438 00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:20,340 So they get ready to eat. What is Ross and Rachel doing? 439 00:17:20,408 --> 00:17:21,575 Oh, they're fighting. 440 00:17:21,643 --> 00:17:23,678 So Ross, Rachel, joey, chandler, 441 00:17:23,745 --> 00:17:25,612 Monica, and phoebe are all together. 442 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,448 Although is phoebe there? 443 00:17:31,786 --> 00:17:32,820 Yes. So... 444 00:17:32,888 --> 00:17:35,055 I will now drink eight glasses of milk 445 00:17:35,123 --> 00:17:36,624 In three minutes. 446 00:17:36,691 --> 00:17:38,393 No. No, you won't. No, you won't. 447 00:17:38,460 --> 00:17:39,961 Because if you do that, you will die. 448 00:17:40,029 --> 00:17:41,296 Oh. 449 00:17:50,674 --> 00:17:52,274 ♪ ♪ 450 00:17:57,514 --> 00:17:59,248 All right. Okay. Enough of that racket. 451 00:17:59,315 --> 00:18:04,619 Um, well, Pawnee, it's, um, almost 6:00 in the morning. 452 00:18:04,687 --> 00:18:07,021 And, uh, we need to keep those donations coming in. 453 00:18:07,089 --> 00:18:10,358 I know we promised a special event coming up and... 454 00:18:10,426 --> 00:18:12,026 - Leslie. - No. 455 00:18:12,094 --> 00:18:13,194 Should I come up now? 456 00:18:13,262 --> 00:18:15,196 Mm-mm. Mm-mm. No. 457 00:18:15,264 --> 00:18:16,697 No. What we're gonna do is we're gonna pull 458 00:18:16,765 --> 00:18:17,698 Our pants down. 459 00:18:17,766 --> 00:18:18,799 That's what we're gonna do. 460 00:18:18,867 --> 00:18:20,201 Everyone's gonna pull their pants down 461 00:18:20,269 --> 00:18:21,836 For diabetes, okay? On 1, 2. 462 00:18:21,904 --> 00:18:25,172 ♪ tall and tan and young and lovely ♪ 463 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,675 ♪ turn my swag on ♪ 464 00:18:27,743 --> 00:18:30,011 ♪ took a look in the mirror, said "what's up?" ♪ 465 00:18:30,078 --> 00:18:31,979 Detlef, are you sure you don't want me to drive? 466 00:18:32,047 --> 00:18:33,181 I'm good to drive. 467 00:18:33,248 --> 00:18:34,982 You want to come over and play video games? 468 00:18:35,050 --> 00:18:37,685 Oh, pull over, man. That place has good chicken. 469 00:18:37,753 --> 00:18:39,286 I'm hungry. 470 00:18:42,123 --> 00:18:43,690 You just love flashing your ass, don't you? 471 00:18:43,758 --> 00:18:45,358 When it's for a good cause, Joan. 472 00:18:45,426 --> 00:18:47,993 - ♪ what's up? ♪ - Hey, look who's here. 473 00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:51,330 Wake up, Pawnee, Tommy Timberlake's in the house. 474 00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:53,465 And you know who else is with me? 475 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:57,170 Detlef Schrempf! 476 00:18:57,238 --> 00:18:58,939 Tell them what they won, son! 477 00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:00,241 Hey, thanks, tom. 478 00:19:00,308 --> 00:19:02,777 Well, on behalf of the Detlef Schrempf foundation, 479 00:19:02,845 --> 00:19:04,980 I'd like to present this check for $5,000 480 00:19:05,047 --> 00:19:06,982 For diabetes research. 481 00:19:07,049 --> 00:19:10,385 Oh, man! Yeah. 482 00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:14,923 Thank you very much. Wow. Wow. Big man, big check. 483 00:19:14,990 --> 00:19:19,860 By the way, I'm drunk! 484 00:19:19,928 --> 00:19:21,062 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 485 00:19:21,129 --> 00:19:22,463 I don't understand what happened. 486 00:19:22,531 --> 00:19:23,697 I'm sorry. 487 00:19:23,765 --> 00:19:25,032 I think I was a little tired when I told you 488 00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:26,433 That you should do that. 489 00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:28,334 I don't think that that's something Ann wants. 490 00:19:28,402 --> 00:19:29,902 Not on TV. 491 00:19:29,970 --> 00:19:32,138 So that's why you pull your pants down. 492 00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:35,941 Yeah. Wait. What did I do? 493 00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:38,744 It's 6:04 am and I'm Perd Hapley 494 00:19:38,812 --> 00:19:40,579 Of channel four eyewitness news. 495 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,481 And the story of this next dance 496 00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:44,251 Is that it's called "the worm." 497 00:19:50,859 --> 00:19:54,196 - Good morning, Knope. - Morning, Ron. 498 00:19:54,263 --> 00:19:55,897 Everything running smoothly? 499 00:19:55,965 --> 00:19:57,966 You know, I'm happy to go back out there 500 00:19:58,033 --> 00:19:59,767 And demonstrate more of my skills. 501 00:19:59,835 --> 00:20:01,969 How to start a fire without matches. 502 00:20:02,037 --> 00:20:03,604 How to build a cribbage board. 503 00:20:03,672 --> 00:20:06,708 - No. I'm okay. Thanks. - Get some sleep. 504 00:20:06,776 --> 00:20:08,811 Aye, aye, captain. 505 00:20:12,683 --> 00:20:15,717 What the [bleep] are you doing, Perd Hapley? 506 00:20:17,954 --> 00:20:19,287 Hey. 507 00:20:19,355 --> 00:20:20,923 Leslie, what are you doing here? 508 00:20:20,991 --> 00:20:22,225 Why aren't you sleeping? 509 00:20:22,292 --> 00:20:25,027 - I just--I thought maybe you'd want to talk more 510 00:20:25,095 --> 00:20:26,996 About all the crazy stuff going on. 511 00:20:27,064 --> 00:20:28,664 I do. I really do. Thanks. 512 00:20:28,732 --> 00:20:30,432 Yeah. 513 00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:31,867 I just got to tell you I'm a little tired. 514 00:20:31,935 --> 00:20:33,035 Okay. 515 00:20:33,103 --> 00:20:36,705 So I may have parked on your front lawn. 516 00:20:36,772 --> 00:20:38,006 - Oh, you did. - I did. 517 00:20:38,073 --> 00:20:40,975 - Hmm. - Yeah. 518 00:20:41,043 --> 00:20:44,144 Just come in before anybody, um... 519 00:20:45,642 --> 00:20:46,642 Leslie and I had an amazing talk. 520 00:20:46,710 --> 00:20:48,744 It was so great of her to come over here. 521 00:20:48,911 --> 00:20:51,613 Even though she was exhausted beyond belief. 522 00:20:51,681 --> 00:20:56,051 Anyway, after we talked, she fell asleep on my couch. 523 00:20:56,119 --> 00:21:01,923 And she's been asleep for 22 hours. 524 00:21:01,991 --> 00:21:04,325 It's amazing what she slept through. 525 00:21:05,428 --> 00:21:07,962 At one point, I thought she was up... 526 00:21:08,030 --> 00:21:11,132 Hold on. Hi. Hey. 527 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,734 But then she went right back to sleep. 528 00:21:14,770 --> 00:21:16,271 I've been monitoring her vital signs. 529 00:21:16,339 --> 00:21:17,439 She's totally fine. 530 00:21:17,507 --> 00:21:20,375 I love her so much. 531 00:21:20,443 --> 00:21:22,778 But I think I'm gonna draw a mustache on her face. 532 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:26,782 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com