1
00:00:01,857 --> 00:00:03,554
Call me a romantic,
2
00:00:03,622 --> 00:00:04,988
But I believe by
the end of the night,
3
00:00:05,055 --> 00:00:08,053
I will have between
one and four new girlfriends.
4
00:00:08,121 --> 00:00:09,254
Oh, that's great.
5
00:00:09,322 --> 00:00:10,821
I'd love to hear
all about your family vacations.
6
00:00:10,889 --> 00:00:12,221
- Hey.
- Oh, thank God.
7
00:00:12,289 --> 00:00:13,856
Get out, Kyle.
8
00:00:13,924 --> 00:00:17,556
Hello, birthday girl.
9
00:00:17,624 --> 00:00:18,860
Got you a birthday present.
10
00:00:18,928 --> 00:00:20,030
- Really?
- Yeah.
11
00:00:20,098 --> 00:00:22,167
I, uh, I wrote you a song.
12
00:00:22,235 --> 00:00:23,938
Score. What's it called?
13
00:00:24,005 --> 00:00:25,176
I'm not telling,
but I'll give you a clue.
14
00:00:25,244 --> 00:00:27,145
It's named after
a month out of the year.
15
00:00:27,213 --> 00:00:28,313
So April?
16
00:00:28,381 --> 00:00:31,287
No.
17
00:00:31,354 --> 00:00:32,522
That would have been
way better.
18
00:00:32,590 --> 00:00:34,457
Um...
Well, whatever.
19
00:00:34,525 --> 00:00:35,824
I can rewrite the lyrics.
20
00:00:35,892 --> 00:00:37,860
Um, are you coming to my party?
21
00:00:37,928 --> 00:00:39,661
Yeah, I wouldn't miss it
for the world.
22
00:00:39,729 --> 00:00:40,796
Are you kidding me?
23
00:00:40,864 --> 00:00:42,399
- Okay, cool.
- Okay.
24
00:00:42,467 --> 00:00:44,534
Um, well, we'll hang out then.
25
00:00:44,602 --> 00:00:45,568
Okay.
26
00:00:45,636 --> 00:00:47,069
It's gonna be fun.
27
00:00:47,137 --> 00:00:50,038
Yes, I am 21 years old today.
28
00:00:50,106 --> 00:00:52,740
Which is the age
that pretty much everyone agrees
29
00:00:52,808 --> 00:00:55,876
Makes you an adult.
30
00:00:58,913 --> 00:01:00,513
♪ ♪
31
00:01:16,005 --> 00:01:18,808
The yearly budget
and planning proposal for a city
32
00:01:18,876 --> 00:01:22,112
Is called the master plan.
33
00:01:22,180 --> 00:01:23,981
Isn't that just so awesome
you can't stand it?
34
00:01:24,048 --> 00:01:28,321
Oh, I shall now reveal to you
my master plan.
35
00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:29,855
Mwah-ha-ha-ha-
36
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,457
Ee-ah-ah-ah-ah...
37
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,294
Kind of sounded like
a chimp there at the end.
38
00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:36,496
Good morning, everybody.
39
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,066
I know you all have
your budget presentations ready,
40
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:40,567
But there's a change of plans.
41
00:01:40,635 --> 00:01:43,136
Due to the crippling gridlock
in city counsel,
42
00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:44,371
We are postponing
43
00:01:44,439 --> 00:01:46,741
All planning and spending
decisions indefinitely.
44
00:01:46,808 --> 00:01:48,642
Um, until when?
45
00:01:48,710 --> 00:01:49,844
Indefinitely.
46
00:01:49,912 --> 00:01:51,780
- And when will that end?
- Later than now.
47
00:01:51,848 --> 00:01:53,715
So this week probably?
48
00:01:53,783 --> 00:01:56,452
- Look, we are bordering on
a full-blown crisis, Leslie.
49
00:01:56,519 --> 00:01:58,888
The state government
is sending a team
50
00:01:58,956 --> 00:02:01,090
From Indianapolis
to try to solve
51
00:02:01,158 --> 00:02:02,425
This budget problem.
52
00:02:02,493 --> 00:02:03,993
Just calm down.
53
00:02:04,061 --> 00:02:05,762
You don't even know
what they're gonna do.
54
00:02:05,830 --> 00:02:07,264
Ron, they're state auditors.
55
00:02:07,331 --> 00:02:08,699
They're here to slash and burn.
56
00:02:08,766 --> 00:02:10,301
We gotta fight these guys.
57
00:02:10,369 --> 00:02:11,869
They've been sent by
the governor.
58
00:02:11,937 --> 00:02:13,638
They outrank everyone.
59
00:02:13,705 --> 00:02:15,440
There's no fight
to be had here.
60
00:02:15,507 --> 00:02:17,208
Yeah, you're right.
I'm not gonna fight them.
61
00:02:17,276 --> 00:02:18,643
Except that I am!
62
00:02:18,711 --> 00:02:20,579
Okay.
63
00:02:20,647 --> 00:02:21,880
Leslie.
64
00:02:21,948 --> 00:02:25,283
What do we do
when we get this angry?
65
00:02:25,351 --> 00:02:27,085
We count backwards
from 1,000 by sevens
66
00:02:27,152 --> 00:02:28,419
And we think of warm brownies.
67
00:02:28,487 --> 00:02:30,588
Go do that in your office.
68
00:02:30,656 --> 00:02:31,857
Go do it in your office.
69
00:02:31,924 --> 00:02:33,658
And we'll wait for
these guys to show up.
70
00:02:33,726 --> 00:02:36,127
I'll wait for you to show up.
71
00:02:36,195 --> 00:02:37,862
Andy!
72
00:02:37,930 --> 00:02:39,798
You coming out tonight,
part owner of the club?
73
00:02:39,865 --> 00:02:41,332
Uh, yes.
74
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,800
Let me ask you
a quick question.
75
00:02:42,868 --> 00:02:44,335
What's the youngest
a girl can be
76
00:02:44,403 --> 00:02:46,570
That if, uh, we go out,
I'm not a total scumbag?
77
00:02:46,638 --> 00:02:48,205
You know the old rule.
78
00:02:48,273 --> 00:02:49,673
Half your age, plus seven.
79
00:02:49,741 --> 00:02:52,943
Half my age plus seven.
Oh, okay.
80
00:02:53,011 --> 00:02:55,512
Well, I'm 29 so half of...
81
00:02:55,579 --> 00:02:59,016
29...Add seven,
82
00:02:59,084 --> 00:03:03,554
That's only 20...Is--
83
00:03:03,621 --> 00:03:06,190
- 21--
- 20 years old.
84
00:03:06,258 --> 00:03:07,358
- 21.
- And a half.
85
00:03:07,426 --> 00:03:08,493
21 years old and a half.
86
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:09,827
- Yup.
- Yup.
87
00:03:09,895 --> 00:03:12,097
We got the same thing
with the equation on that one.
88
00:03:12,164 --> 00:03:13,431
Here's the thing.
89
00:03:13,499 --> 00:03:15,434
What if she's slightly younger?
90
00:03:15,501 --> 00:03:16,702
Can I go out with
someone younger than that?
91
00:03:16,769 --> 00:03:18,537
Please!
You totally can.
92
00:03:18,605 --> 00:03:19,872
Yeah.
93
00:03:19,939 --> 00:03:23,676
Tom says it's okay.
94
00:03:23,743 --> 00:03:26,245
That probably means
it isn't okay.
95
00:03:26,313 --> 00:03:30,016
Thank you for meeting
with me again.
96
00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:32,552
I don't even know really
what I wanna say.
97
00:03:32,620 --> 00:03:33,920
But I guess
I just don't get it.
98
00:03:33,988 --> 00:03:36,023
You know, our relationship
was so great.
99
00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:39,126
Mark, honestly,
it was really nice.
100
00:03:39,194 --> 00:03:42,162
But maybe you thought
it was so amazing
101
00:03:42,230 --> 00:03:44,698
Because you've never dated
someone for so long before.
102
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,801
Well, but, for example,
we barely ever fought.
103
00:03:47,869 --> 00:03:49,703
That's not a good sign.
104
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,339
You're supposed to fight.
Sometimes.
105
00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:56,042
You're...Supposed to miss
the other person
106
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:58,644
Even if they're only gone
for 20 minutes.
107
00:03:58,712 --> 00:04:00,580
And I just didn't feel that.
108
00:04:00,647 --> 00:04:02,715
Did you?
109
00:04:02,783 --> 00:04:05,651
Man, I, uh...
110
00:04:05,719 --> 00:04:08,888
I should have yelled at you
way more.
111
00:04:08,956 --> 00:04:10,990
Well, Paul just called.
112
00:04:11,058 --> 00:04:12,892
They're on their way.
113
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,126
Oh, God, they're gonna
fire people, aren't they?
114
00:04:14,194 --> 00:04:16,228
Yeah, I am two years
from my pension.
115
00:04:16,296 --> 00:04:17,496
Relax, Jerry.
We don't know that.
116
00:04:17,564 --> 00:04:20,165
Maybe these people
are very helpful and pleasant--
117
00:04:20,233 --> 00:04:22,434
- Hello.
- Ha! Death!
118
00:04:22,502 --> 00:04:25,436
- Divorce filings?
- Fourth floor.
119
00:04:25,504 --> 00:04:27,505
- Hello, hello?
- Oh.
120
00:04:27,573 --> 00:04:29,306
Hey. How are you?
Hello there.
121
00:04:29,374 --> 00:04:30,507
Hi.
122
00:04:30,575 --> 00:04:32,243
Chris Traeger.
This is Ben.
123
00:04:32,310 --> 00:04:33,344
Hello, gents.
Ron Swanson.
124
00:04:33,412 --> 00:04:37,548
Ron...Swanson.
125
00:04:37,616 --> 00:04:38,749
Okay.
126
00:04:38,817 --> 00:04:40,317
I'm deputy director,
Leslie Knope.
127
00:04:40,385 --> 00:04:43,821
Leslie...Knope.
128
00:04:43,889 --> 00:04:44,989
It is fantastic to be here.
129
00:04:45,056 --> 00:04:46,157
Would you gentlemen
like a tour?
130
00:04:46,224 --> 00:04:47,324
Oh, there is quite literally
131
00:04:47,392 --> 00:04:48,793
Nothing I would rather have
in the world
132
00:04:48,860 --> 00:04:50,928
Than a tour of the parks
and recreation department
133
00:04:50,996 --> 00:04:54,865
Of the great city of Pawnee
led by Ron Swanson.
134
00:04:54,933 --> 00:04:56,433
And Leslie Knope.
135
00:04:56,501 --> 00:04:58,068
- Okay.
- Ben?
136
00:04:58,136 --> 00:04:59,136
I don't think
that's a great idea.
137
00:04:59,204 --> 00:05:00,471
- Let's do it.
- Okay.
138
00:05:00,538 --> 00:05:02,306
Chris is the most positive
state budget
139
00:05:02,373 --> 00:05:04,041
Auditing consultant
I've ever met.
140
00:05:04,108 --> 00:05:06,576
I mean,
I made eye contact with him,
141
00:05:06,644 --> 00:05:08,578
And it was like...
142
00:05:08,646 --> 00:05:10,713
Staring into the sun.
143
00:05:10,781 --> 00:05:11,881
People.
144
00:05:11,949 --> 00:05:13,883
We are here from
the state budget office
145
00:05:13,951 --> 00:05:15,752
From Indianapolis.
146
00:05:15,820 --> 00:05:17,120
Ooh! What does that mean?
147
00:05:17,188 --> 00:05:20,457
Well, simply, we are here
to tinker with your budget.
148
00:05:20,524 --> 00:05:23,793
Think of the government
as a broken down carousel.
149
00:05:23,861 --> 00:05:25,795
We're gonna slap on
a new coat of paint,
150
00:05:25,863 --> 00:05:27,997
We're gonna fix that broken
speaker system,
151
00:05:28,065 --> 00:05:29,398
And we are gonna get
those happy kids
152
00:05:29,466 --> 00:05:32,034
Back up on the horses
where they belong!
153
00:05:32,102 --> 00:05:33,202
Okay?
154
00:05:33,270 --> 00:05:35,204
Yeah.
155
00:05:35,272 --> 00:05:36,472
Okay?
156
00:05:38,008 --> 00:05:39,375
There it is.
157
00:05:39,443 --> 00:05:41,144
My, uh, partner Ben is gonna
stick around for a little bit.
158
00:05:41,211 --> 00:05:44,046
And I will see you all later.
159
00:05:44,114 --> 00:05:45,648
Adios.
160
00:05:45,716 --> 00:05:47,717
Do you have a second?
161
00:05:52,456 --> 00:05:54,423
I really like your shirt.
162
00:05:54,491 --> 00:05:55,891
So I'd like to talk about
163
00:05:55,959 --> 00:05:58,226
Where you think there's waste
within your department.
164
00:05:59,862 --> 00:06:01,864
- There is none.
- Where do I start?
165
00:06:01,931 --> 00:06:04,666
What exactly
will you be cutting?
166
00:06:04,734 --> 00:06:06,067
And how much of it,
167
00:06:06,135 --> 00:06:09,336
And can I watch you doing it
while eating pork cracklins?
168
00:06:09,404 --> 00:06:11,505
Okay, let's start
with personnel.
169
00:06:11,573 --> 00:06:14,241
What can you tell me about
Jerry Gergich?
170
00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:16,877
He is one of the best people
on the planet.
171
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:18,545
He's universally adored here.
172
00:06:18,613 --> 00:06:21,347
If you fired him,
there would be a revolt.
173
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:22,716
Okay, you need to understand
174
00:06:22,784 --> 00:06:24,552
That just to keep this town
afloat,
175
00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:26,254
We probably have to cut
the budget
176
00:06:26,322 --> 00:06:29,491
Of every department
by 40% or 50%, okay?
177
00:06:29,558 --> 00:06:31,993
Well, but Chris said that
you just had to,
178
00:06:32,060 --> 00:06:33,929
You know, tinker with things.
179
00:06:33,996 --> 00:06:36,498
Yeah, he said that because
that sounds a lot better than,
180
00:06:36,566 --> 00:06:37,866
"we're going to gut it with
a machete."
181
00:06:37,934 --> 00:06:41,136
Okay?
182
00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:45,775
- You're a jerk.
- I'm sorry?
183
00:06:45,842 --> 00:06:47,109
Easy.
184
00:06:47,177 --> 00:06:48,644
I'm sorry, these are
real people in a real town
185
00:06:48,711 --> 00:06:50,579
Working in a real building
with real feelings.
186
00:06:50,647 --> 00:06:52,481
This building has feelings?
187
00:06:52,548 --> 00:06:53,816
Maybe.
188
00:06:53,883 --> 00:06:55,784
There's a lot of history
in this one, maybe it does.
189
00:06:55,852 --> 00:06:57,152
How can you be
so blase about it?
190
00:06:57,219 --> 00:06:58,853
Because I didn't cause
these problems, miss Knope.
191
00:06:58,921 --> 00:07:00,989
Your government did.
192
00:07:01,056 --> 00:07:02,624
I'll get what I need
from the spreadsheets.
193
00:07:02,692 --> 00:07:05,460
Thanks.
194
00:07:08,664 --> 00:07:10,098
- What's a not-gay way
to ask him
195
00:07:10,166 --> 00:07:12,201
To go camping with me?
196
00:07:14,928 --> 00:07:15,994
- John-Ralphio.
- Lookin' hot, big t.
197
00:07:16,062 --> 00:07:17,329
♪ throw them bones ♪
198
00:07:17,397 --> 00:07:18,497
What?
199
00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:19,931
Damn, girl,
who you tryin' to impress?
200
00:07:19,999 --> 00:07:21,499
Just kidding, I know.
201
00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:24,669
- Walk away.
- Yep, you got it.
202
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,103
Got your birthday shot.
203
00:07:26,171 --> 00:07:27,605
Oh, thanks.
204
00:07:27,672 --> 00:07:30,241
But now that it's legal,
I've kind of lost interest.
205
00:07:30,308 --> 00:07:33,943
Suit yourself.
206
00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:38,681
I guess our awesome new park
is on hold.
207
00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:40,449
Do you have any idea
what they're gonna cut?
208
00:07:40,517 --> 00:07:41,884
No.
209
00:07:41,952 --> 00:07:44,287
I don't know, this has been
a really crappy day.
210
00:07:44,354 --> 00:07:45,521
Where were you earlier
when I called?
211
00:07:45,589 --> 00:07:47,022
Talking to mark.
212
00:07:47,090 --> 00:07:50,392
- Again?
- Yeah.
213
00:07:50,459 --> 00:07:52,560
- You wanna get super drunk?
- I really do.
214
00:07:52,628 --> 00:07:53,795
- Yeah, where's our lady. Hey!
- Hey.
215
00:07:53,863 --> 00:07:56,665
I hope you all know,
I was instrumental
216
00:07:56,732 --> 00:07:58,399
In getting Trish crowned
miss Pawnee.
217
00:07:58,467 --> 00:07:59,567
What was your talent again?
218
00:07:59,635 --> 00:08:02,237
Oh, yeah.
Looking amazing.
219
00:08:05,342 --> 00:08:06,542
Hey, ladies.
220
00:08:06,610 --> 00:08:08,077
Is there anything
you desire at all besides me?
221
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:12,982
So funny.
You are so funny.
222
00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:15,252
- I--I'm serious, though.
223
00:08:15,319 --> 00:08:16,552
Um, are you into me?
224
00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:18,087
What?
225
00:08:21,758 --> 00:08:25,093
Oh!
226
00:08:25,161 --> 00:08:27,561
Chug that bitch!
Oh, rules are rules.
227
00:08:27,629 --> 00:08:30,798
♪ ♪
228
00:08:30,865 --> 00:08:34,601
Hey. April.
Oh, my gosh.
229
00:08:34,668 --> 00:08:35,668
You look amazing.
230
00:08:35,736 --> 00:08:36,769
- Oh.
- Let me see.
231
00:08:36,837 --> 00:08:37,937
- No.
- Do a twirl.
232
00:08:38,005 --> 00:08:39,005
- No.
- This is beautiful.
233
00:08:39,073 --> 00:08:40,974
No, don't look at me.
234
00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:43,310
No, look. Look at me.
Happy Birthday.
235
00:08:43,378 --> 00:08:44,478
Thank you.
236
00:08:44,546 --> 00:08:45,579
Uh, can I get you a drink?
237
00:08:45,647 --> 00:08:49,284
Or--wait.
238
00:08:49,352 --> 00:08:51,586
Yeah, I can swing it.
Can I get you a drink?
239
00:08:51,654 --> 00:08:53,622
Whiskey. Neat.
240
00:08:53,690 --> 00:08:55,624
Wow, you're not messing around.
241
00:08:55,692 --> 00:08:58,260
No. I'm not.
242
00:08:58,328 --> 00:09:02,531
♪ ♪
243
00:09:02,599 --> 00:09:03,799
Barkeep!
244
00:09:03,867 --> 00:09:06,802
Andy Dwyer.
It is so awesome to see you.
245
00:09:06,870 --> 00:09:08,470
Hey, you too, how are you?
246
00:09:08,538 --> 00:09:09,771
Let me ask you a question.
247
00:09:09,839 --> 00:09:11,806
Was I a good girlfriend?
248
00:09:11,874 --> 00:09:14,176
Ann, you were
an awesome girlfriend.
249
00:09:14,244 --> 00:09:15,911
- Really?
- Yeah.
250
00:09:15,979 --> 00:09:18,480
- Aw.
- Yeah.
251
00:09:18,548 --> 00:09:19,948
I mean, I was the screwup.
252
00:09:20,016 --> 00:09:21,116
Yeah, you were.
253
00:09:22,318 --> 00:09:23,719
We had a good relationship,
right?
254
00:09:23,787 --> 00:09:25,354
God, I think so.
255
00:09:25,422 --> 00:09:28,858
I mean, we fought a lot.
I know. I know.
256
00:09:28,926 --> 00:09:31,027
I know that.
Let me ask you something.
257
00:09:31,095 --> 00:09:32,829
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm hot.
258
00:09:32,896 --> 00:09:34,063
Is that a question?
259
00:09:34,131 --> 00:09:36,332
- Um, when we were together--
I can't see.
260
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,633
Here.
261
00:09:37,701 --> 00:09:38,801
- When we were together--
- Yes.
262
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:40,969
Were there times
that you were like,
263
00:09:41,037 --> 00:09:43,538
"if I don't see Ann
in, like, ten seconds,
264
00:09:43,606 --> 00:09:44,873
I'm gonna die"?
265
00:09:44,940 --> 00:09:47,241
Yes. All the time.
266
00:09:47,309 --> 00:09:48,709
I loved Andy.
267
00:09:48,777 --> 00:09:50,210
Loved him.
268
00:09:50,278 --> 00:09:51,845
Loved Andy.
269
00:09:51,912 --> 00:09:55,181
He was a totally helpless baby
when we met.
270
00:09:55,249 --> 00:09:57,049
I dated him for three years.
271
00:09:57,117 --> 00:10:00,519
Now he's an adult with a job.
272
00:10:00,587 --> 00:10:04,423
And some other girl
is gonna reap the rewards
273
00:10:04,490 --> 00:10:07,659
Of my hard work?
274
00:10:07,727 --> 00:10:09,728
That's bull[bleep].
275
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,568
I'm reading this, and I'm like,
276
00:10:16,636 --> 00:10:19,337
How could they
hurt those gorillas like that?
277
00:10:19,405 --> 00:10:23,107
They're such gentle,
magnificent creatures, you know?
278
00:10:23,175 --> 00:10:24,909
I'm an animal lover,
I don't know.
279
00:10:24,976 --> 00:10:28,445
Hey, I, um, want you to keep
this bottlecap.
280
00:10:28,512 --> 00:10:30,246
So you'll always remember me
281
00:10:30,314 --> 00:10:33,049
And the first time we met.
282
00:10:33,117 --> 00:10:35,785
Classic game.
Plant the seed.
283
00:10:35,853 --> 00:10:37,220
Harvest like a half hour later.
284
00:10:37,287 --> 00:10:40,857
Here you go.
Sorry that took forever.
285
00:10:40,925 --> 00:10:43,060
God.
286
00:10:43,128 --> 00:10:46,030
Hey, baby, you miss me?
'cause I missed you.
287
00:10:46,097 --> 00:10:47,198
Oh, look at this.
John-Ralphio.
288
00:10:47,265 --> 00:10:48,832
Oh, hey. Andy.
289
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:49,934
Andy.
That's an all right name.
290
00:10:50,001 --> 00:10:51,268
That's an all right name.
291
00:10:51,336 --> 00:10:53,538
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
292
00:10:53,605 --> 00:10:56,341
- Are you guys--are you guys
hanging out together?
293
00:10:56,409 --> 00:10:57,742
Yeah, uh, maybe.
294
00:10:57,810 --> 00:10:59,144
You know, he asked me out
so many times.
295
00:10:59,211 --> 00:11:00,478
I guess he wore me down.
296
00:11:00,546 --> 00:11:02,480
I'm very persistent.
297
00:11:02,547 --> 00:11:03,681
Come over here.
Come over here.
298
00:11:03,748 --> 00:11:05,282
- I can hear you. I can--
- Come over here.
299
00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:07,017
One time, I waited outside
a woman's house
300
00:11:07,085 --> 00:11:09,753
For five days just to show her
how serious I was
301
00:11:09,820 --> 00:11:11,087
About wanting to drill her.
302
00:11:11,155 --> 00:11:12,955
Turns out,
it was the wrong house.
303
00:11:13,023 --> 00:11:14,423
She loved the story anyway.
304
00:11:14,490 --> 00:11:15,957
We got to third base.
Over the pants.
305
00:11:16,025 --> 00:11:18,126
- That's so cute.
- Yeah, super cute.
306
00:11:18,194 --> 00:11:19,461
- Wow.
- Right?
307
00:11:19,529 --> 00:11:21,096
Do you want a Remy Martin?
Probably good.
308
00:11:21,164 --> 00:11:22,431
Okay, I'll get you one.
309
00:11:22,499 --> 00:11:25,501
Two Remy Martins.
Here we go.
310
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:28,805
You can have my Remy Martin.
311
00:11:28,872 --> 00:11:32,809
For your birthday.
312
00:11:32,877 --> 00:11:34,378
I thought she liked me.
313
00:11:34,446 --> 00:11:37,448
I guess I'm super bad
at picking up signals.
314
00:11:39,451 --> 00:11:42,486
But that Ralph Macchio guy's
a total douche.
315
00:11:42,554 --> 00:11:45,790
Did I give you a bottlecap?
316
00:11:45,857 --> 00:11:47,992
Excuse me.
Did I give you a bottlecap?
317
00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:49,593
- What?
- Ugh!
318
00:11:49,661 --> 00:11:52,663
Did I give any of you guys
a bottlecap?
319
00:11:52,731 --> 00:11:55,532
You sure?
320
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,167
Who the [bleep]
did I give a bottlecap to?
321
00:11:57,235 --> 00:11:59,136
♪ fast money, fast cars ♪
322
00:11:59,203 --> 00:12:01,538
♪ fast women ♪
♪ That's how I'm livin' ♪
323
00:12:01,606 --> 00:12:03,273
♪ fast money, fast cars ♪
324
00:12:03,341 --> 00:12:05,275
♪ fast women ♪
♪ That's how I'm livin' ♪
325
00:12:05,343 --> 00:12:07,577
This party sucks.
Let's get out of here.
326
00:12:07,645 --> 00:12:09,646
- It's my birthday party.
- It is?
327
00:12:09,714 --> 00:12:12,282
- Yes.
- I'm sorry, boo.
328
00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:13,950
- You know what's thirsty?
- What?
329
00:12:14,018 --> 00:12:15,518
You know what's weird?
330
00:12:15,586 --> 00:12:16,920
How thirsty I get
when I'm weird.
331
00:12:16,988 --> 00:12:18,889
- Mm-hmm.
- When I'm drunk.
332
00:12:18,956 --> 00:12:21,158
Ben the jerk is here.
333
00:12:21,225 --> 00:12:22,760
- Who are?
- That one.
334
00:12:22,828 --> 00:12:24,862
The one coming over here.
Get ready.
335
00:12:24,930 --> 00:12:27,131
Okay, Leslie, be professional.
336
00:12:27,199 --> 00:12:28,333
Hi.
337
00:12:28,401 --> 00:12:30,736
Hello, Ben.
338
00:12:30,803 --> 00:12:33,472
Um, look, uh,
339
00:12:33,540 --> 00:12:36,208
I kind of feel like
we got off on the wrong foot. G
340
00:12:36,276 --> 00:12:38,844
So I just wanted to stop by
and--
341
00:12:38,912 --> 00:12:40,880
- Yeah, well, save your breath,
okay?
342
00:12:40,947 --> 00:12:43,515
Just get out of here.
343
00:12:43,582 --> 00:12:45,316
Because this is a party
with my friends
344
00:12:45,384 --> 00:12:46,818
And you're trying to fire
all my friends.
345
00:12:46,885 --> 00:12:48,185
- I--
346
00:12:48,253 --> 00:12:49,819
- Plus I just talked to
everybody in this bar
347
00:12:49,887 --> 00:12:51,354
And nobody wants you here.
348
00:12:51,422 --> 00:12:54,224
- Um, okay, then I'll--
I'll just see you tomorrow.
349
00:12:54,291 --> 00:12:56,158
- Mm-hmm.
- Sorry to bother you.
350
00:12:56,226 --> 00:12:59,495
Get out of here.
351
00:12:59,563 --> 00:13:03,132
Leslie,
that was so professional.
352
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,500
I'm so proud of you.
353
00:13:04,567 --> 00:13:05,901
Thank you.
354
00:13:08,874 --> 00:13:10,474
- You have to help me.
- Ow.
355
00:13:10,542 --> 00:13:13,744
I know, me too.
But you have to help me.
356
00:13:13,812 --> 00:13:15,813
I think I may have made out
with someone last night.
357
00:13:15,881 --> 00:13:19,384
Oh, no. Who?
358
00:13:19,451 --> 00:13:20,452
I don't remember.
359
00:13:20,519 --> 00:13:21,920
I don't even know
if it happened,
360
00:13:21,987 --> 00:13:23,822
I just had this feeling
when I woke up this morning
361
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,490
Like I definitely
kissed somebody.
362
00:13:25,558 --> 00:13:26,491
- No--
363
00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:29,127
- Hey. Ann.
364
00:13:29,195 --> 00:13:30,362
Hmm.
365
00:13:30,429 --> 00:13:32,597
Oh, that was a crazy night
last night.
366
00:13:34,433 --> 00:13:37,335
Yeah, crazy.
367
00:13:37,403 --> 00:13:40,972
I mean,
I left at 11:15
368
00:13:41,039 --> 00:13:42,707
And you were still raging
pretty hard.
369
00:13:42,775 --> 00:13:45,843
Oh, I was. I was.
370
00:13:45,911 --> 00:13:47,845
Good.
371
00:13:47,913 --> 00:13:49,080
Yeah.
So it's not Jerry.
372
00:13:49,148 --> 00:13:50,482
Help me.
373
00:13:50,550 --> 00:13:52,117
I'll keep an ear to the ground.
374
00:13:52,185 --> 00:13:54,019
But right now, I have to go
swallow my pride.
375
00:13:54,086 --> 00:13:56,154
Mm, mm.
376
00:13:56,222 --> 00:13:57,689
Leslie, Leslie.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
377
00:13:57,757 --> 00:13:59,090
Hi, you have
a lot of bottles there.
378
00:13:59,158 --> 00:14:00,325
Oh, yeah, would you like
a vitamin?
379
00:14:00,393 --> 00:14:03,395
B12? Evening primrose oil?
Willow bark? Magnesium?
380
00:14:03,463 --> 00:14:04,963
- No, thank you.
- You sure?
381
00:14:05,031 --> 00:14:06,832
Really good for hangovers.
Okay, I'll take one.
382
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:09,602
I take care of my body
above all else.
383
00:14:09,669 --> 00:14:12,639
Diet, exercise,
supplements, positive thinking.
384
00:14:12,707 --> 00:14:14,374
Scientists believe that
the first human being
385
00:14:14,442 --> 00:14:17,411
Who will live 150 years
has already been born.
386
00:14:17,479 --> 00:14:20,114
I believe I am
that human being.
387
00:14:20,182 --> 00:14:22,183
So. What brings you here
so early?
388
00:14:22,251 --> 00:14:24,318
I'm here to speak to Ben,
actually.
389
00:14:24,386 --> 00:14:25,486
Great.
390
00:14:25,554 --> 00:14:26,754
I'm gonna listen to
some ocean sounds
391
00:14:26,822 --> 00:14:29,757
And so some chin-ups.
392
00:14:32,661 --> 00:14:35,062
So I'd like to apologize
for yesterday.
393
00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:37,164
Don't worry about it.
394
00:14:37,231 --> 00:14:39,499
Now what I did
was out of line. Twice.
395
00:14:39,567 --> 00:14:42,502
And I was worked up
because obviously,
396
00:14:42,569 --> 00:14:44,003
You represent a threat
to my department.
397
00:14:44,070 --> 00:14:45,771
Your city counsel
and your Mayor
398
00:14:45,839 --> 00:14:47,306
Are the threats to
your department.
399
00:14:47,373 --> 00:14:48,506
We didn't do anything
400
00:14:48,574 --> 00:14:50,374
To get you into
this situation, okay?
401
00:14:50,442 --> 00:14:51,676
Okay, look, Ben,
402
00:14:51,744 --> 00:14:53,544
I don't appreciate
your callous attitude, okay?
403
00:14:53,612 --> 00:14:55,046
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
404
00:14:55,114 --> 00:14:56,347
Okay.
405
00:14:56,415 --> 00:14:58,916
You may hold my fate
in your hands like a small bird,
406
00:14:58,984 --> 00:15:02,853
But I still think
you're an ass.
407
00:15:02,921 --> 00:15:04,255
You wanna get a beer?
408
00:15:04,323 --> 00:15:06,357
It's, like,
10:30 in the morning.
409
00:15:06,425 --> 00:15:07,859
Yeah. You seem like
you could use a beer.
410
00:15:07,926 --> 00:15:09,593
Let's get a beer.
411
00:15:09,661 --> 00:15:10,761
- Well--
412
00:15:10,829 --> 00:15:13,031
- Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Don't keep him too long.
413
00:15:13,098 --> 00:15:15,566
I need someone to be here
when I take my multivitamin.
414
00:15:15,634 --> 00:15:17,669
There's a choking hazard.
415
00:15:17,736 --> 00:15:20,205
Okay, can we go?
416
00:15:20,272 --> 00:15:22,373
Oh, my God.
417
00:15:22,441 --> 00:15:23,975
You don't remember anything
418
00:15:24,042 --> 00:15:25,109
That happened last night,
do you?
419
00:15:25,177 --> 00:15:26,911
- No.
- Wow.
420
00:15:26,978 --> 00:15:30,347
For once, it's Ann
who blacked out drunk
421
00:15:30,415 --> 00:15:31,515
And not Andy.
422
00:15:31,583 --> 00:15:33,050
- Okay.
- Oh, my gosh.
423
00:15:33,118 --> 00:15:34,117
This is--
that's really dangerous.
424
00:15:34,185 --> 00:15:35,352
Please tell me.
425
00:15:35,420 --> 00:15:36,887
This is going to be so fun
426
00:15:36,955 --> 00:15:39,523
Letting you dangle
until I finally reveal
427
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,858
That we did not make out.
428
00:15:41,926 --> 00:15:43,259
Oh, [bleep].
429
00:15:43,327 --> 00:15:44,861
Damn it.
430
00:15:44,929 --> 00:15:47,230
Good. See ya.
431
00:15:47,298 --> 00:15:49,766
All right.
432
00:15:49,833 --> 00:15:52,835
Hey, I need to settle my bill
from last night.
433
00:15:52,903 --> 00:15:54,270
Tom Haverford.
434
00:15:54,337 --> 00:15:57,072
Okay.
435
00:15:57,140 --> 00:15:59,975
Wow, you had 47 drinks
last night?
436
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:02,945
Ten cosmos,
eight Smirnoff ices,
437
00:16:03,013 --> 00:16:05,081
And everything else starts with
the word pomegranate.
438
00:16:05,148 --> 00:16:06,749
Aw. Was it
your bachelorette party?
439
00:16:06,817 --> 00:16:08,451
No.
440
00:16:08,518 --> 00:16:10,886
I invited a bunch of girls here
last night,
441
00:16:10,954 --> 00:16:13,923
And they all put drinks
on my tab.
442
00:16:13,991 --> 00:16:15,991
And then I went home alone.
443
00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,159
I'm not sure what happened.
444
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:18,460
You invited
a bunch of girls here
445
00:16:18,528 --> 00:16:19,928
And then you tried to hit on
all of them.
446
00:16:19,996 --> 00:16:22,164
Fair enough.
447
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,432
I mean, what were you
expecting was gonna happen,
448
00:16:23,499 --> 00:16:24,599
A 43-way?
449
00:16:24,667 --> 00:16:27,469
That would have been
a little out of control.
450
00:16:27,536 --> 00:16:28,670
- But awesome.
- Yeah.
451
00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:30,438
The problem is
I only have 15 penises.
452
00:16:30,506 --> 00:16:32,507
So there would have been
28 girls there
453
00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:34,008
That were really upset with me.
454
00:16:37,813 --> 00:16:41,916
All right, well, thanks.
455
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,488
Hey, uh, would you wanna get
a drink tomorrow night?
456
00:16:49,224 --> 00:16:51,359
- Does it have to be here?
- No.
457
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,261
Then sure.
I'm Lucy.
458
00:16:53,329 --> 00:16:56,164
Let you give me
my phone number.
459
00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:58,934
Mm.
460
00:16:59,002 --> 00:17:00,102
Wow, that tastes really good.
461
00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:02,604
Mm. How's your head?
462
00:17:02,672 --> 00:17:05,340
Mushy.
463
00:17:05,408 --> 00:17:06,975
I'm sorry that I yelled at you.
464
00:17:07,043 --> 00:17:08,276
All three times.
465
00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:09,978
But I don't think
you know anything
466
00:17:10,045 --> 00:17:11,312
About my department.
467
00:17:11,380 --> 00:17:14,048
Have you ever been part of
a government body before?
468
00:17:14,115 --> 00:17:16,083
Uh, I have. Yeah.
469
00:17:16,151 --> 00:17:18,452
In a small town
called partridge, Minnesota.
470
00:17:20,521 --> 00:17:23,123
Why does that sound familiar?
471
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:27,795
You're Benji Wyatt?
I am.
472
00:17:27,863 --> 00:17:29,130
When I was 18,
473
00:17:29,198 --> 00:17:33,068
I ran for Mayor of
my small town and won.
474
00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:36,672
Little bit of anti-establishment
voter rebellion, I guess.
475
00:17:36,740 --> 00:17:39,342
Here's the thing, though,
about 18-year-olds.
476
00:17:39,410 --> 00:17:41,211
They're idiots.
477
00:17:41,278 --> 00:17:42,912
So I pretty much
ran the place into the ground
478
00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:46,949
After two months
and got impeached.
479
00:17:47,017 --> 00:17:49,551
Worst part was,
my parents grounded me.
480
00:17:49,619 --> 00:17:51,387
Oh, my God, you were so cute.
481
00:17:51,454 --> 00:17:52,388
Oh, well, thank you.
482
00:17:52,455 --> 00:17:53,389
What was that song you played
483
00:17:53,456 --> 00:17:54,724
At the swearing-in ceremony?
484
00:17:54,791 --> 00:17:58,360
Whoomp! There it is
is what it was, yeah.
485
00:17:58,428 --> 00:17:59,928
God, I was so jealous of you.
486
00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:01,129
You shouldn't have been.
487
00:18:01,197 --> 00:18:02,831
I mean, it ended up
kind of ruining my life.
488
00:18:02,899 --> 00:18:04,966
I mean,
now I'm balancing budgets
489
00:18:05,034 --> 00:18:06,434
So I can show people
I'm responsible.
490
00:18:06,501 --> 00:18:09,036
And so I can
run for office again someday
491
00:18:09,104 --> 00:18:12,106
And not be laughed at,
you know?
492
00:18:12,173 --> 00:18:13,740
I mean, you wanna
run for office someday, right?
493
00:18:13,808 --> 00:18:17,210
Yeah. How'd you know?
494
00:18:17,278 --> 00:18:18,411
Well, you have to be able
to make decisions
495
00:18:18,479 --> 00:18:19,546
Like this, Leslie.
496
00:18:19,613 --> 00:18:21,347
You have to be harsh.
You know?
497
00:18:21,415 --> 00:18:22,848
No one's gonna elect you
to do anything
498
00:18:22,916 --> 00:18:25,551
If you don't show that
you're a responsible grown-up.
499
00:18:25,618 --> 00:18:27,552
Yeah.
500
00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:28,853
Well.
501
00:18:28,921 --> 00:18:31,256
Oh, no, please,
Mr. Mayor. Let me.
502
00:18:31,323 --> 00:18:33,090
♪ whoomp! There it is ♪
503
00:18:33,158 --> 00:18:34,358
Okay.
504
00:18:34,425 --> 00:18:37,761
Mm.
505
00:18:37,829 --> 00:18:40,130
Mm.
506
00:18:40,198 --> 00:18:42,633
- Everything okay?
- Hmm?
507
00:18:42,701 --> 00:18:44,134
Mm.
508
00:18:44,202 --> 00:18:46,203
No.
509
00:18:56,815 --> 00:18:59,117
- You ready?
- Yeah.
510
00:19:06,458 --> 00:19:09,526
Hey, Ron,
did we make out last night?
511
00:19:09,594 --> 00:19:11,127
Good God, woman, no.
512
00:19:11,195 --> 00:19:12,929
Okay.
Well, that's it.
513
00:19:12,996 --> 00:19:14,430
That's all the men that I know.
514
00:19:14,498 --> 00:19:16,799
You guys just knocked it
completely out of the park.
515
00:19:16,867 --> 00:19:20,703
And I appreciate it
and we will see you later.
516
00:19:22,405 --> 00:19:25,141
Hey. Ann Perkins.
517
00:19:25,208 --> 00:19:29,346
- Hey.
- Hey. Well.
518
00:19:29,413 --> 00:19:31,681
Uh, April's party?
April's party?
519
00:19:31,749 --> 00:19:33,350
Yeah, hey, man.
How's it going?
520
00:19:33,417 --> 00:19:35,919
- Hey.
- Hey.
521
00:19:35,987 --> 00:19:37,087
Come here.
522
00:19:37,155 --> 00:19:38,923
There's no reason
not to love him,
523
00:19:38,991 --> 00:19:40,124
But I--I didn't.
524
00:19:40,192 --> 00:19:45,329
♪ highway to the danger zone ♪
525
00:19:45,397 --> 00:19:46,964
I'm calling you a cab.
526
00:19:47,032 --> 00:19:49,034
- You know what,
I just--
527
00:19:49,101 --> 00:19:53,371
- Mm.
528
00:19:53,439 --> 00:19:55,473
Mm-mm-mm, mm-mm-mm.
529
00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:57,775
Mm.
530
00:19:57,843 --> 00:19:58,876
Okay, let's get in the cab.
531
00:19:58,944 --> 00:20:01,645
Go ahead.
Boo.
532
00:20:01,713 --> 00:20:02,713
Fancy this.
533
00:20:02,781 --> 00:20:05,249
Um, listen,
I have meetings all day,
534
00:20:05,316 --> 00:20:07,551
But I'd love to chat with you;
Can I call you?
535
00:20:07,619 --> 00:20:10,021
You have my phone number?
536
00:20:10,088 --> 00:20:12,289
No, you couldn't remember
your phone number.
537
00:20:12,357 --> 00:20:13,457
But you gave me your phone.
538
00:20:13,525 --> 00:20:15,192
Terrific.
That's great.
539
00:20:15,259 --> 00:20:16,326
We'll talk later.
540
00:20:16,394 --> 00:20:18,495
Okay.
♪ danger zone ♪
541
00:20:18,563 --> 00:20:21,765
Come on, guys.
542
00:20:21,833 --> 00:20:23,801
We'll talk later.
543
00:20:23,868 --> 00:20:28,473
This suggested plan reduces
our overall budget by 35%.
544
00:20:28,540 --> 00:20:30,542
And it contains very practical
deep cuts
545
00:20:30,609 --> 00:20:32,244
In many of our services.
546
00:20:32,311 --> 00:20:34,480
Uh, Leslie, this is amazing.
547
00:20:34,547 --> 00:20:35,681
But it's moot.
548
00:20:35,749 --> 00:20:36,716
Why?
549
00:20:36,783 --> 00:20:39,085
Our investigation has revealed
550
00:20:39,153 --> 00:20:41,387
That things in Pawnee
are much worse
551
00:20:41,454 --> 00:20:42,488
Than we anticipated.
552
00:20:42,556 --> 00:20:44,090
Meaning what?
553
00:20:44,157 --> 00:20:45,924
Well, effective
tomorrow morning,
554
00:20:45,992 --> 00:20:47,025
The entire government
will be shut down
555
00:20:47,093 --> 00:20:51,430
Until further notice.
556
00:20:51,498 --> 00:20:52,665
I'm sorry,
I just started hearing
557
00:20:52,732 --> 00:20:54,366
Really loud circus music
in my head.
558
00:20:54,434 --> 00:20:55,635
What did you say?
559
00:20:57,457 --> 00:21:00,326
♪ November,
your bangs are cute ♪
560
00:21:00,394 --> 00:21:03,630
♪ November,
your voice is a flute ♪
561
00:21:03,698 --> 00:21:05,365
♪ November ♪
562
00:21:05,433 --> 00:21:11,239
♪ let's pretend the sky
is for us ♪
563
00:21:11,307 --> 00:21:16,211
♪ let's spread our wings
and fly on a date ♪
564
00:21:16,279 --> 00:21:19,714
♪ I wanna go on a date
with you ♪
565
00:21:19,782 --> 00:21:21,749
♪ November ♪
566
00:21:21,817 --> 00:21:23,684
Sync by kuniva for addic7ed.com
567
00:21:23,752 --> 00:21:27,387
That song is about April.