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Giddyup, giddyup!
2
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Meet Leslie Knope.
3
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Whap!
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I am the pants queen!
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Leslie loves whipped cream,
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dancing with friends,
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and working hard
for the Parks Department
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of Pawnee, Indiana.
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Cut it out, Tom.
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It never gets old.
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She also loves her coworkers
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at City Hall,
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Ron Swanson...
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Tom Haverford...
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Tommy Timberlake.
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April Ludgate...
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My mom's Puerto Rican.
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That's why I'm so lively
and colorful.
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And Andy Dwyer.
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Uh-oh.
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Nailed it.
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April and Andy like each other.
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But Andy accidentally kissed
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his ex-girlfriend,
Ann Perkins...
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Ooh.
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- April left.
- April!
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And he hasn't seen her since.
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In the midst of all this love,
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two black hats rode
into town...
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Scientists believe
that the first human being
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who will live 150 years
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has already been born.
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I believe I am
that human being.
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And they brought with them
some disturbing news.
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Effective tomorrow morning,
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the entire government
will be shut down
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until further notice.
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What will Leslie do next?
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Will April and Andy
make up and make out?
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Find out this season
on Parks and Recreation.
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Starting right now.
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Ron...We're back.
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Bully.
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The bankrupt government
of Pawnee
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has been shut down all summer,
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so it's been three months
of no work,
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no meetings, no memos,
no late nights, nothing.
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I wouldn't wish it
on my worst enemy.
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Oh, rounding up the team.
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So exciting.
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I have goosebumps.
Feel.
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And that's why they call me
Prince Charming.
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'Cause I always find
the glass slipper
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for my Cinderella.
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These are way too tight.
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Well, the real Cinderella
didn't have hippo feet.
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Tom, we're back.
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Jeremy!
Suck it!
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By the way, I've been
giving away free sports bras
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to the girls
at hot dog on a stick.
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Look, we can dance all day,
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but it's time to step up.
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Are you buying
4,000 rubber nipples from me
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or not?
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Dee, you have a visitor.
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We back?
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We're back.
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All right.
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- Jerry.
- Oh, my gosh.
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Look who's here.
Leslie.
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The nightmare's over, Jerry.
We're going back to work.
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You're not gonna need
this anymore.
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Come on!
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I called shotgun.
Everybody heard me.
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Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Well...
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I am usually not one
for speeches.
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So good-bye.
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Break's over, mofos.
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Okay, here's the situation.
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00:02:57,479 --> 00:02:59,697
We are operating
on a shoestring budget.
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Park services
have been slashed.
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But we are all still here.
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And we have a job to do.
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Make the world's biggest pizza.
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No, make this town fun
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for the people who live here.
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Fine, but after that,
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the pizza is our top priority.
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No, it's not.
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We're getting pizza?
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April, hey.
It's me, Andy.
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Dwyer.
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Uh, this is, like,
the 200th message I've left you
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without a response.
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00:03:25,808 --> 00:03:26,891
So...
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If you're trying
to tell me something,
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I do not know what it is
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because you won't call me back.
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It is truly great
to see all of you.
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Huh?
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It's great news.
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Okay, I have to run.
Ben.
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The bad news, which...
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I get to deliver, is this:
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Your only work
for the time being
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will be existing
park maintenance.
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So that just means
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that we're in maintenance mode!
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Yeah!
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Jerry.
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Okay, see, I've spent
the last few months
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brainstorming,
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and I have
some really great ideas,
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and I put them
in my idea binders.
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I mean, they're color-coded,
for God's sake.
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Okay, actually, yeah.
There is...
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There is one thing
that you will be doing.
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Apparently, in Indiana,
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if you don't provide
a basketball league,
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people get very upset.
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And, quite frankly,
throw things at you
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and call you names.
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Like turd boy.
I... whatever.
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Point is, I reinstated
youth basketball.
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It says here you only have
money for two teams.
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Yeah, they're gonna develop
a great rivalry.
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Under my tutelage,
you will grow
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from boys into men.
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From men into gladiators.
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And from gladiators
into Swansons.
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Behold.
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00:04:35,210 --> 00:04:37,512
The Swanson pyramid
of greatness.
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I've been developing
the Swanson pyramid of greatness
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for years.
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It's a perfectly
calibrated recipe
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for maximum personal
achievement.
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Categories include:
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Capitalism, God's way
of determining
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who is smart, and who is poor.
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Crying, acceptable at funerals
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and the Grand Canyon.
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Rage, poise, property rights.
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Fish, for sport only.
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Not for meat.
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Fish meat is practically
a vegetable.
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Haircuts.
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There are three
acceptable haircuts.
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High and tight,
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crew cut, buzz cut.
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Are the scissors broken
in your house, son?
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So you happy
to be back at work?
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Well, our budget's
been slashed to zero.
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I tried to buy fertilizer
the other day
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for the soccer field.
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Request denied.
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We literally can't buy shit.
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- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- No, I mean, look.
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When we were kids,
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the Parks Department
would do these big projects.
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Winter Jamboree,
the Harvest Festival.
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It's like they don't have faith
in us anymore.
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I'm not a paper-pusher,
Ann.
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I need to be out
in the streets,
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planting trees
and cracking skulls.
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Leslie Knope.
Ann Perkins.
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How are my two favorite people
in this entire town?
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00:05:42,361 --> 00:05:43,528
Not good, Chris.
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There's a whole line of people
in my office
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complaining that
all their programs
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have been slashed.
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Yeah, I know.
It's terrible.
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Is there anything
we can do about that?
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- No.
- Damn, sorry, Leslie.
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Ann, could I talk to you
for a minute?
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- So how's it going?
- Save it, okay?
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I know you don't have
faith in me
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and my department,
and that's fine.
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But don't expect me to sit here
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and chit-chat with you.
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All right, fair enough.
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Go the other way.
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But I'm just going to that...
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All right, uh...
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Look, I'm very flattered.
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But again, I don't think
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I should go out with you.
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Can I ask you why not?
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Because I thought
we had a great time
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the night you got drunk
and kissed me.
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And you did use your tongue.
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I just don't think
I'm in a place
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to go out with anyone
right now.
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Okay, well,
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if you change your mind,
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you know where
to find me, Ann Perkins.
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Leslie Knope.
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Yes.
Did he ask you out again?
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He did, he did.
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He is nothing
if not persistent.
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And hot.
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He's ver...
he's pretty hot.
203
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Yeah, he's hot.
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But he's intense.
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But he's really, really hot.
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But he's your boss.
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Oh, my God,
I just thought of an idea
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of how we can save
the Parks Department.
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Great.
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00:06:52,931 --> 00:06:53,981
Let me ask you one question.
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Would you be cool doing things
212
00:06:55,884 --> 00:06:56,884
that a prostitute does?
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00:06:56,952 --> 00:06:58,653
Uh...
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Minus the money.
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00:06:59,955 --> 00:07:02,106
Definitely yes, then.
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00:07:02,190 --> 00:07:03,291
Thanks, Ann.
217
00:07:03,358 --> 00:07:05,276
Looking sharp.
Beautiful.
218
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,161
The backboard is your friend.
219
00:07:08,697 --> 00:07:10,464
Aaaa, bam!
220
00:07:10,532 --> 00:07:11,832
Boom!
221
00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:14,619
I'd say my coaching style
is centered
222
00:07:14,703 --> 00:07:15,937
around fundamentals,
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00:07:16,004 --> 00:07:17,171
with an emphasis on fun.
224
00:07:17,239 --> 00:07:18,923
Hey, watch this.
225
00:07:19,007 --> 00:07:20,591
Go get it!
226
00:07:20,676 --> 00:07:24,111
And a second emphasis
on mental.
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00:07:24,179 --> 00:07:25,846
Yeah, it can be hard work,
228
00:07:25,914 --> 00:07:26,847
but every time I look
229
00:07:26,915 --> 00:07:28,583
one of these kids in the eyes
230
00:07:28,650 --> 00:07:31,085
and he calls me coach...
231
00:07:31,136 --> 00:07:34,305
That's how I know
I agreed to be a coach.
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00:07:34,373 --> 00:07:35,923
Mouse rat!
233
00:07:35,974 --> 00:07:38,359
Carnage!
234
00:07:38,426 --> 00:07:39,944
Okay, gentlemen, it's time
235
00:07:40,028 --> 00:07:42,096
for the pregame coin toss.
236
00:07:42,147 --> 00:07:43,931
There's no coin toss
in basketball.
237
00:07:43,982 --> 00:07:45,316
Are those women's sneakers?
238
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,101
Yes, they are, Ron.
You know what?
239
00:07:47,169 --> 00:07:49,654
They fit better.
I got an employee discount.
240
00:07:49,738 --> 00:07:50,671
And the best part is,
241
00:07:50,739 --> 00:07:52,039
no one can tell.
242
00:07:52,107 --> 00:07:53,941
All right, let's do this.
243
00:07:54,009 --> 00:07:56,944
Match point,
touchdown, et cetera.
244
00:07:58,947 --> 00:08:00,798
Yeah, go my team.
All right.
245
00:08:00,866 --> 00:08:02,216
Okay, I like
what you're wearing,
246
00:08:02,283 --> 00:08:04,218
but I need it to be
300% sexier.
247
00:08:04,286 --> 00:08:05,453
Do you have any of those shirts
248
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,388
that look wet all the time?
249
00:08:07,456 --> 00:08:08,623
Or... or, like,
a metal bikini?
250
00:08:08,690 --> 00:08:10,257
Oh, you know what's
always sexy?
251
00:08:10,325 --> 00:08:11,792
Fingerless gloves.
252
00:08:11,860 --> 00:08:14,895
What about if I wear
this normal, sane outfit?
253
00:08:14,963 --> 00:08:15,963
Yeah, okay,
but you're gonna have to eat
254
00:08:16,031 --> 00:08:17,648
something sexy, then,
like a banana.
255
00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:18,849
For dinner?
256
00:08:18,934 --> 00:08:19,934
Well, what's sexy food?
257
00:08:19,985 --> 00:08:21,235
Asparagus?
258
00:08:21,302 --> 00:08:22,520
No, you know what's sexy?
259
00:08:22,604 --> 00:08:24,438
Turkey chili.
260
00:08:24,506 --> 00:08:25,973
- Mmm.
- Yum.
261
00:08:26,041 --> 00:08:27,441
And how, exactly,
262
00:08:27,509 --> 00:08:30,511
am I supposed to casually steer
the conversation
263
00:08:30,579 --> 00:08:32,313
towards the Parks
Department budget?
264
00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:33,681
Okay, it's totally easy.
265
00:08:33,749 --> 00:08:35,549
Tell you what.
You be Chris.
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00:08:35,617 --> 00:08:37,284
I'll be you.
I'll show you how it's done.
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00:08:37,336 --> 00:08:38,502
Okay.
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00:08:38,587 --> 00:08:39,720
Ann Perkins.
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00:08:39,788 --> 00:08:41,255
You are wonderful and amazing,
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00:08:41,323 --> 00:08:42,657
and I'm happy
to be here with you.
271
00:08:42,724 --> 00:08:43,658
Thank you, Chris.
272
00:08:43,725 --> 00:08:45,893
I'm wearing a tuxedo vest
273
00:08:45,961 --> 00:08:47,845
with no shirt on underneath.
274
00:08:47,929 --> 00:08:48,996
Uh-oh.
275
00:08:49,064 --> 00:08:50,197
Can I get you a drink?
276
00:08:50,265 --> 00:08:52,216
I love every single beverage
in the world.
277
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:53,768
I would like some wine.
278
00:08:53,835 --> 00:08:56,604
And, oops, my vest popped open.
279
00:08:56,672 --> 00:08:59,440
Just like the budget
needs to pop open,
280
00:08:59,508 --> 00:09:01,575
and you need to pour it
281
00:09:01,643 --> 00:09:03,544
into my Parks Department.
282
00:09:03,612 --> 00:09:05,212
Great.
283
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,315
I am so excited
that you finally agreed
284
00:09:08,367 --> 00:09:09,684
to go out with me.
285
00:09:09,751 --> 00:09:11,452
What a magnificent
flip-flop.
286
00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:15,022
You're a magnificent
asker-outer.
287
00:09:15,073 --> 00:09:17,558
Tell me every single detail
of your day.
288
00:09:17,626 --> 00:09:19,260
I love dates.
289
00:09:19,327 --> 00:09:20,861
I love connecting with someone.
290
00:09:20,912 --> 00:09:22,630
I love engaging them.
291
00:09:22,698 --> 00:09:24,732
I love being surprised by them.
292
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,233
I have never had a bad date.
293
00:09:26,301 --> 00:09:28,936
They've all been either great
or phenomenally great.
294
00:09:29,004 --> 00:09:31,305
Nurses are the most
undervalued members
295
00:09:31,373 --> 00:09:33,040
of our society by far.
296
00:09:33,108 --> 00:09:35,309
I think all of you
should make as much money
297
00:09:35,377 --> 00:09:36,310
as the CEO of Google.
298
00:09:36,378 --> 00:09:39,780
Wow, thank you.
I agree.
299
00:09:39,848 --> 00:09:41,399
Can I ask you a question?
300
00:09:41,483 --> 00:09:42,717
Why am I so positive
all the time?
301
00:09:42,784 --> 00:09:46,821
Yes, that's exactly
the question.
302
00:09:46,888 --> 00:09:48,789
I was born
with a blood disorder.
303
00:09:48,857 --> 00:09:50,224
And my parents were told
304
00:09:50,275 --> 00:09:51,892
that I had three weeks to live.
305
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,894
And here I still am,
306
00:09:53,945 --> 00:09:57,231
some 2,000-odd weeks later.
307
00:09:57,282 --> 00:10:02,870
And I have enjoyed
every one of them.
308
00:10:02,921 --> 00:10:04,371
I think it's going well.
309
00:10:04,439 --> 00:10:06,707
He's actually
a really nice guy.
310
00:10:06,775 --> 00:10:07,958
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
311
00:10:08,043 --> 00:10:09,210
Okay, so have you asked him
yet about the money?
312
00:10:09,261 --> 00:10:10,461
Well, it's a date, you know?
313
00:10:10,545 --> 00:10:11,779
It's kind of hard
to casually bring up
314
00:10:11,847 --> 00:10:12,947
the Parks budget
when you're talking
315
00:10:13,014 --> 00:10:14,131
about your favorite movies.
316
00:10:14,216 --> 00:10:17,435
Jurassic Park,
parks are so great,
317
00:10:17,519 --> 00:10:18,719
the Parks Department
needs money.
318
00:10:18,787 --> 00:10:19,937
I just did it in three moves.
319
00:10:20,021 --> 00:10:21,021
Well, then, why don't you
just come here
320
00:10:21,089 --> 00:10:22,022
and do it yourself?
321
00:10:22,090 --> 00:10:23,224
- Okay.
- Holy crap.
322
00:10:24,316 --> 00:10:27,183
What? Chris and Ann?
What are you two doing here?
323
00:10:27,202 --> 00:10:28,219
We are on a date.
324
00:10:28,535 --> 00:10:30,320
And it is going phenomenally.
325
00:10:30,404 --> 00:10:31,904
Thanks, but I'll stay
for just one drink.
326
00:10:31,956 --> 00:10:33,873
I'm so happy I ran into you
327
00:10:33,941 --> 00:10:35,441
because I wanted
to speak to you...
328
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,910
- Well, well, well.
- Ben.
329
00:10:37,962 --> 00:10:39,996
- What a fun surprise.
- Oh, that's right.
330
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:41,748
You were coming here tonight
on a date.
331
00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:43,816
And, hey, Leslie is joining you
332
00:10:43,884 --> 00:10:46,135
on this wonderfully
romantic occasion.
333
00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:47,553
How 'bout that?
334
00:10:47,621 --> 00:10:49,222
- Fantastic.
- It is.
335
00:10:49,289 --> 00:10:50,556
Can I talk to you?
336
00:10:50,624 --> 00:10:51,891
- Sure.
- What are you doing here?
337
00:10:51,959 --> 00:10:53,393
I'm just confirming
a suspicion I had, Leslie.
338
00:10:53,460 --> 00:10:54,527
What are you talking about?
339
00:10:54,595 --> 00:10:55,845
I had nothing to do
with this date.
340
00:10:55,929 --> 00:10:57,063
- Uh-huh.
- They're both so beautiful.
341
00:10:57,130 --> 00:10:58,531
They probably just want
to see each other naked.
342
00:10:58,599 --> 00:10:59,966
Okay, well, I know
what you're trying to do.
343
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,334
And you're not that good
at being sneaky.
344
00:11:01,402 --> 00:11:03,152
- Yes, I am.
- No, you're not.
345
00:11:03,237 --> 00:11:04,754
- I'm great at being sneaky.
- Clearly you're not.
346
00:11:04,822 --> 00:11:05,905
Hey, you guys.
347
00:11:05,973 --> 00:11:07,940
Let's all have dinner together.
348
00:11:08,008 --> 00:11:09,375
The more the merrier.
349
00:11:09,443 --> 00:11:11,377
- Great.
- Great.
350
00:11:11,445 --> 00:11:13,379
Good job, guys.
Yep.
351
00:11:13,447 --> 00:11:14,480
All right, Eric, taking a rest,
352
00:11:14,531 --> 00:11:15,782
or are you hurt?
353
00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:17,700
Taking a rest?
354
00:11:17,785 --> 00:11:19,118
Smart.
355
00:11:19,169 --> 00:11:20,169
Destroy them, gentlemen.
356
00:11:20,254 --> 00:11:23,322
Feel no sympathy.
357
00:11:23,390 --> 00:11:27,260
Yes, Ron Swanson is dating
my ex-wife, Wendy.
358
00:11:27,327 --> 00:11:29,262
Big deal.
359
00:11:29,329 --> 00:11:30,263
My girlfriend, Lucy,
360
00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:31,764
is the sexiest woman in town.
361
00:11:31,832 --> 00:11:33,366
She's Cuban, she's got tattoos,
362
00:11:33,434 --> 00:11:34,734
and she's into me,
363
00:11:34,802 --> 00:11:36,052
which, as far as I'm concerned,
364
00:11:36,136 --> 00:11:38,805
is the sexiest quality
a woman can have.
365
00:11:38,856 --> 00:11:40,006
Oh, I have an idea.
366
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,741
You know what would be
really fun after dinner?
367
00:11:41,809 --> 00:11:43,943
We should take a walk
by the pond in Ramsett Park.
368
00:11:44,010 --> 00:11:45,545
Walking in parks can be
very romantic.
369
00:11:45,612 --> 00:11:47,613
Yeah, too bad the park's
always closed, though.
370
00:11:47,681 --> 00:11:49,549
Okay, well,
you two are on a date.
371
00:11:49,616 --> 00:11:53,870
So Leslie and I
should probably get going.
372
00:11:53,954 --> 00:11:55,705
Uh, well, I'm actually
having a good time
373
00:11:55,789 --> 00:11:56,706
with everyone.
374
00:11:56,790 --> 00:11:58,408
Chris?
375
00:11:58,492 --> 00:12:00,059
Oh, me, too.
I'm having a fantastic time.
376
00:12:00,127 --> 00:12:01,060
What do you say we take
this whole
377
00:12:01,128 --> 00:12:02,562
date-plus-two-
other-people thing
378
00:12:02,629 --> 00:12:03,746
up into the stratosphere?
379
00:12:03,814 --> 00:12:05,098
♪ Don't stop make it pop ♪
380
00:12:05,165 --> 00:12:07,467
♪ deejay blow my speakers up ♪
381
00:12:07,534 --> 00:12:09,969
♪ tonight I'ma fight ♪
382
00:12:10,036 --> 00:12:11,137
♪ till we see the sunlight ♪
383
00:12:11,204 --> 00:12:12,255
This place is outstanding.
384
00:12:12,339 --> 00:12:13,756
Great call, Leslie Knope.
385
00:12:13,841 --> 00:12:14,774
Thanks.
386
00:12:14,842 --> 00:12:17,410
Look, even Ben's dancing.
387
00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:21,013
That's the way
to shoot the ball, Chignoli.
388
00:12:21,065 --> 00:12:22,014
Hustle back.
389
00:12:26,653 --> 00:12:28,454
Uh...
390
00:12:28,522 --> 00:12:29,589
It's a foul.
391
00:12:29,656 --> 00:12:31,274
What?
On whom?
392
00:12:31,358 --> 00:12:32,308
Your team.
393
00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:34,427
Number 50.
He was double dribbling.
394
00:12:34,495 --> 00:12:35,428
He's on defense.
395
00:12:35,496 --> 00:12:37,313
Exactly.
396
00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:38,598
It's a technical difficulty,
so that means
397
00:12:38,665 --> 00:12:40,249
Andy's team throws the ball
398
00:12:40,334 --> 00:12:41,400
from the stripey thing.
399
00:12:41,468 --> 00:12:42,418
Let's go.
400
00:12:42,503 --> 00:12:44,287
The stripey thing?
401
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:50,960
♪ ♪
402
00:12:51,044 --> 00:12:52,628
Hey, there.
403
00:12:52,713 --> 00:12:54,246
How's it going?
404
00:12:54,298 --> 00:12:56,282
Great, thanks.
405
00:12:56,350 --> 00:12:57,266
Can I buy you a drink?
406
00:12:57,351 --> 00:13:00,019
Oh, I'm very flattered,
407
00:13:00,086 --> 00:13:01,971
but this is my
stunningly gorgeous date,
408
00:13:02,055 --> 00:13:02,989
Ann Perkins.
409
00:13:03,056 --> 00:13:04,824
Oh, hi.
410
00:13:04,892 --> 00:13:06,776
- Hi.
- Sorry.
411
00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:08,227
Oh, no problem.
412
00:13:08,278 --> 00:13:10,313
In fact, let me buy
all of you a drink
413
00:13:10,397 --> 00:13:11,647
for being so welcoming today.
414
00:13:11,732 --> 00:13:12,782
Waiter.
415
00:13:12,866 --> 00:13:18,171
I think I may
actually like Chris.
416
00:13:18,238 --> 00:13:19,372
On the house, Leslie.
417
00:13:19,439 --> 00:13:21,657
Oh, thank you.
418
00:13:21,742 --> 00:13:23,643
I'm sort of a gay hero.
419
00:13:23,710 --> 00:13:26,445
Last year, I married
two penguins at the zoo,
420
00:13:26,513 --> 00:13:27,647
and it turned out
they were both gay.
421
00:13:27,714 --> 00:13:29,215
- Penguin wedding.
- Mm-hmm.
422
00:13:29,282 --> 00:13:32,001
- That's cute.
- It was so cute.
423
00:13:32,085 --> 00:13:33,252
But enough about how
cute it was.
424
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,554
Why don't you think
I should have the money?
425
00:13:34,621 --> 00:13:36,289
Good lord, really?
426
00:13:36,356 --> 00:13:37,640
Look.
427
00:13:37,724 --> 00:13:38,858
When I was 18,
428
00:13:38,926 --> 00:13:41,861
and I became mayor
of my hometown,
429
00:13:41,929 --> 00:13:43,529
I used every last dollar we had
430
00:13:43,597 --> 00:13:45,798
to open a giant
winter sports complex.
431
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:47,066
Called it Icetown.
432
00:13:47,134 --> 00:13:48,501
And it turned out great,
and everyone loved it.
433
00:13:48,569 --> 00:13:49,502
Uh, yeah, kinda.
434
00:13:49,570 --> 00:13:50,870
It was never completed,
435
00:13:50,938 --> 00:13:53,072
and I got impeached.
436
00:13:53,140 --> 00:13:54,207
Newspaper headline was,
437
00:13:54,274 --> 00:13:57,543
"Icetown costs ice clown
his town crown."
438
00:13:57,611 --> 00:13:58,578
Yuck.
439
00:13:58,645 --> 00:14:00,513
They were big into rhymes.
440
00:14:00,581 --> 00:14:02,114
Well, I don't know.
441
00:14:02,166 --> 00:14:03,349
I think Icetown sounds great.
442
00:14:03,417 --> 00:14:04,650
And the point is,
443
00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:07,203
at least you tried something.
444
00:14:08,989 --> 00:14:10,673
Foul!
445
00:14:10,757 --> 00:14:12,008
Foul on number three
446
00:14:12,092 --> 00:14:13,709
for taking a number two
on number four.
447
00:14:16,096 --> 00:14:17,162
Roughing the passer.
448
00:14:17,214 --> 00:14:18,681
Double dribbling.
That's a foul.
449
00:14:18,765 --> 00:14:20,766
That's a foul for touching
the basketball.
450
00:14:20,834 --> 00:14:21,934
What are you gonna do about it?
451
00:14:22,002 --> 00:14:23,102
Nothing.
You fouled.
452
00:14:23,169 --> 00:14:24,237
You can't do anything.
453
00:14:24,304 --> 00:14:25,855
Okay.
454
00:14:25,939 --> 00:14:27,056
You're ejected.
You're ejected.
455
00:14:28,675 --> 00:14:30,610
Oh, what's the matter
there, Ron?
456
00:14:30,677 --> 00:14:31,611
No players left?
457
00:14:31,678 --> 00:14:34,347
Yay, Andy's team!
458
00:14:34,414 --> 00:14:36,015
- Look at 'em go!
- Come on.
459
00:14:36,066 --> 00:14:38,201
Now you're openly
cheering for the other team?
460
00:14:38,268 --> 00:14:39,952
- Put my boys back in.
- You made me the ref.
461
00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:41,037
Deal with it.
462
00:14:41,121 --> 00:14:42,388
You know what?
Take this uniform off.
463
00:14:42,456 --> 00:14:44,357
- Hey, hey.
- You don't deserve to wear it.
464
00:14:45,659 --> 00:14:47,426
Ron's ejected
for molesting the ref.
465
00:14:47,494 --> 00:14:48,527
Oh, yeah?
I'm ejected?
466
00:14:48,579 --> 00:14:49,545
- Yes, you are.
- Tom, what are you doing?
467
00:14:49,630 --> 00:14:50,863
I'm ejecting you.
468
00:14:50,914 --> 00:14:52,531
You're ejected, too.
Everyone's ejected.
469
00:14:52,583 --> 00:14:53,532
Oh, yeah?
She's ejected?
470
00:14:53,584 --> 00:14:54,533
Yeah.
471
00:14:54,585 --> 00:14:59,222
Rrrraaaagh!
472
00:14:59,306 --> 00:15:01,274
Go ahead, go.
473
00:15:01,341 --> 00:15:03,309
Well, that's a forfeit.
Andy's team wins.
474
00:15:03,377 --> 00:15:04,477
No way!
475
00:15:04,544 --> 00:15:06,762
We won!
Oh, man!
476
00:15:06,847 --> 00:15:08,614
Eat it!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
477
00:15:08,682 --> 00:15:11,117
Andy, Andy, Andy!
478
00:15:11,184 --> 00:15:13,236
Yeah!
479
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,488
Ah-ha-ha!
Yes!
480
00:15:15,555 --> 00:15:17,423
I dedicate this victory
to April Ludgate.
481
00:15:17,491 --> 00:15:18,424
It feels good.
482
00:15:18,492 --> 00:15:21,027
And it feels sticky.
483
00:15:21,094 --> 00:15:22,778
From the Gatorade.
484
00:15:22,846 --> 00:15:24,530
We're barely able to function.
485
00:15:24,581 --> 00:15:26,832
We could really use that money.
486
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:28,367
But you know,
I don't know if it's because
487
00:15:28,435 --> 00:15:29,902
I'm in such a good mood,
488
00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:31,304
or because of the charming
Ann Perkins,
489
00:15:31,371 --> 00:15:33,205
but I am going
to seriously consider that.
490
00:15:33,273 --> 00:15:35,207
Really?
That's great.
491
00:15:35,275 --> 00:15:36,208
Mission accomplished.
492
00:15:36,260 --> 00:15:37,443
Let's boogie.
493
00:15:37,511 --> 00:15:38,644
Mission accomplished?
494
00:15:38,712 --> 00:15:41,881
Uh-oh.
495
00:15:41,932 --> 00:15:43,115
Yeah.
496
00:15:43,183 --> 00:15:47,053
There's a mission, uh,
that Ann had thought of.
497
00:15:47,104 --> 00:15:48,087
It was both of our ideas,
498
00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:49,455
but it was mostly Ann's.
499
00:15:49,523 --> 00:15:51,641
We...
500
00:15:51,725 --> 00:15:53,643
I had mentioned to Ann
that it would be fun
501
00:15:53,727 --> 00:15:55,094
if you two went on a date.
502
00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:56,195
So then...
503
00:15:56,263 --> 00:15:58,948
You could, uh,
talk about the money
504
00:15:59,032 --> 00:16:03,202
and then, you know,
maybe give it to me.
505
00:16:03,269 --> 00:16:05,905
Wow.
506
00:16:05,973 --> 00:16:09,976
I've just had
my first bad date.
507
00:16:10,043 --> 00:16:12,078
Ann Perkins.
508
00:16:14,781 --> 00:16:17,817
Not that sneaky.
509
00:16:26,668 --> 00:16:28,035
April!
510
00:16:30,806 --> 00:16:31,722
April.
511
00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:33,340
Where have you been?
Oh, my God.
512
00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:35,176
- Hey, how are you?
- I'm okay.
513
00:16:35,243 --> 00:16:36,343
I'm dying to see you.
514
00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:39,463
I called and texted you,
like, a billion times.
515
00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:41,916
Oh, I'm sorry.
516
00:16:41,983 --> 00:16:42,950
I was in Venezuela.
517
00:16:43,018 --> 00:16:44,852
Oh, really?
518
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,020
Wow.
519
00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:48,439
Across the pond.
520
00:16:48,523 --> 00:16:49,957
Wow.
521
00:16:50,025 --> 00:16:51,125
I thought maybe
I woulda heard from you
522
00:16:51,193 --> 00:16:54,745
at least once
because of what happened.
523
00:16:54,830 --> 00:16:56,163
Ann kissing me?
I'm so sorry about that.
524
00:16:56,231 --> 00:16:57,281
It was so stupid,
525
00:16:57,365 --> 00:16:59,100
and it meant nothing.
526
00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:02,253
I wouldn't worry about it.
It's totally fine.
527
00:17:02,337 --> 00:17:03,754
Hey.
528
00:17:03,839 --> 00:17:06,507
This is my boyfriend, Eduardo.
529
00:17:06,575 --> 00:17:07,875
No, it's not.
530
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:10,377
- ¿Listo para lonche?
- Si.
531
00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:11,946
That means we're going
to lunch.
532
00:17:12,013 --> 00:17:13,714
How do you say
have a great time,
533
00:17:13,765 --> 00:17:14,715
don't choke on anything?
534
00:17:14,766 --> 00:17:15,883
Bye.
535
00:17:19,688 --> 00:17:21,555
Leslie asked me
to do her a favor,
536
00:17:21,606 --> 00:17:24,558
and I love her, so I did it.
537
00:17:24,609 --> 00:17:27,061
I'm sorry, and I'm here
to eat crow.
538
00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:28,562
I like you a lot.
539
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,598
Let's go out again.
540
00:17:32,701 --> 00:17:36,370
Ann Perkins.
541
00:17:36,438 --> 00:17:38,789
Budget solution number 28.
542
00:17:38,874 --> 00:17:43,627
Use grazing sheep
to mow grass in parks.
543
00:17:43,712 --> 00:17:47,548
Note: Tired sheep
could become food
544
00:17:47,616 --> 00:17:49,083
or sweaters.
545
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:52,987
Well, I got my answer.
546
00:17:53,054 --> 00:17:54,355
About April.
547
00:17:54,422 --> 00:17:55,723
She hates me.
Yeah.
548
00:17:55,791 --> 00:17:57,791
And she got a boyfriend,
I guess,
549
00:17:57,843 --> 00:17:59,260
from some city in Mexico.
550
00:17:59,327 --> 00:18:00,961
So...
551
00:18:01,012 --> 00:18:02,997
What do I do?
552
00:18:03,064 --> 00:18:04,231
Okay.
553
00:18:04,299 --> 00:18:06,000
Well, when your back's
against the wall
554
00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:09,103
and odds are stacked
against you,
555
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,971
you just...
you...
556
00:18:11,022 --> 00:18:12,807
You swing the hardest, damn it.
557
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:14,158
You go big, or you go home.
558
00:18:14,242 --> 00:18:16,443
And you don't seem like
the kind of guy who goes home.
559
00:18:16,511 --> 00:18:17,945
I'm not.
560
00:18:17,996 --> 00:18:19,079
I don't even really
have a home.
561
00:18:19,147 --> 00:18:20,581
- Go get her, Andy!
- Okay.
562
00:18:20,648 --> 00:18:22,783
Okay, thanks, Leslie!
563
00:18:25,921 --> 00:18:28,122
Okay, so we know the people
who run this government
564
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,190
have no faith in us.
565
00:18:29,257 --> 00:18:30,657
My plan is gonna change that
566
00:18:30,709 --> 00:18:32,193
and bring the budget back.
567
00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:33,527
And the answer's been
right in front of us
568
00:18:33,595 --> 00:18:34,512
the whole time.
569
00:18:34,596 --> 00:18:36,547
Ew, check your testicles?
570
00:18:36,631 --> 00:18:37,598
No, not that.
571
00:18:37,666 --> 00:18:39,099
Although that is
very good advice.
572
00:18:39,167 --> 00:18:40,100
I'm looking at you, Jerry.
573
00:18:40,168 --> 00:18:41,368
No, what's gonna save us
574
00:18:41,436 --> 00:18:44,939
is right there.
575
00:18:45,006 --> 00:18:46,540
Gentlemen, I realize
that times are tough,
576
00:18:46,608 --> 00:18:48,275
and the budget is tight.
577
00:18:48,343 --> 00:18:51,145
But if the people of this town
have nothing else to do
578
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:53,881
but sit in their houses
and play video games,
579
00:18:53,949 --> 00:18:56,183
then Pawnee will die.
580
00:18:56,251 --> 00:18:59,453
And we refuse
to let that happen.
581
00:18:59,521 --> 00:19:01,572
Now.
582
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,741
This town was historically
known for two things.
583
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:06,961
Widespread obesity
584
00:19:07,028 --> 00:19:10,748
and the annual
Pawnee Harvest Festival.
585
00:19:10,832 --> 00:19:12,600
People from all over Indiana
would come
586
00:19:12,667 --> 00:19:13,934
and gaze in wonderment
587
00:19:14,002 --> 00:19:15,502
at how fat our citizens were.
588
00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:16,720
And while they were here,
589
00:19:16,805 --> 00:19:18,272
they would also attend
the festival.
590
00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:20,741
A full week of corn mazes,
591
00:19:20,809 --> 00:19:22,560
hayrides, ferris wheels,
592
00:19:22,644 --> 00:19:24,511
pumpkins the size of jeeps.
593
00:19:24,579 --> 00:19:27,548
We lost that festival
a few years ago,
594
00:19:27,616 --> 00:19:29,083
due to another round
of budget cuts.
595
00:19:29,150 --> 00:19:32,453
And I propose
we bring the festival back.
596
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,388
With ticket sales
and corporate sponsorship,
597
00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:35,689
we'll earn all that money back.
598
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:37,024
And believe me,
people will come.
599
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:38,525
What if they don't?
600
00:19:38,593 --> 00:19:41,495
Well...
601
00:19:41,562 --> 00:19:43,831
Then you eliminate
the Parks Department.
602
00:19:43,899 --> 00:19:46,467
And you guys are all
on board with this.
603
00:19:46,534 --> 00:19:48,102
- Aye.
- Yes.
604
00:19:48,169 --> 00:19:50,304
Look, we're not
just pencil pushers.
605
00:19:50,372 --> 00:19:53,507
We are a reflection
of the community.
606
00:19:53,574 --> 00:19:57,011
And we believe that we can
strengthen that community.
607
00:19:57,078 --> 00:19:59,013
Because in the end,
608
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,715
the reason why we're all here
609
00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:04,518
is to bring people together.
610
00:20:04,586 --> 00:20:07,722
♪ ♪
611
00:20:08,065 --> 00:20:09,065
That...
612
00:20:09,133 --> 00:20:11,234
Literally...
613
00:20:11,302 --> 00:20:14,504
Is the most moving thing
I've ever heard.
614
00:20:14,572 --> 00:20:18,675
And a good idea.
615
00:20:18,742 --> 00:20:19,676
Yeah, all right.
616
00:20:19,727 --> 00:20:21,010
Excellent.
617
00:20:21,078 --> 00:20:23,096
Great, okay, so everybody,
618
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,547
we're gonna party hard
for 15 minutes.
619
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:28,017
Then we're gonna have
our first brainstorming session.
620
00:20:32,646 --> 00:20:33,646
Hello, April.
621
00:20:33,713 --> 00:20:35,814
Do you like the flowers?
622
00:20:35,882 --> 00:20:37,233
What are you doing?
623
00:20:37,317 --> 00:20:39,051
All due respect, Eduardo.
624
00:20:39,102 --> 00:20:40,519
You seem like a great guy.
625
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:42,254
But I like April,
and I'm coming after her
626
00:20:42,322 --> 00:20:44,306
with everything I've got.
627
00:20:44,374 --> 00:20:46,292
So do you want
to go out with me?
628
00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:49,378
No.
629
00:20:49,462 --> 00:20:50,596
I thought you were gonna
say yes,
630
00:20:50,664 --> 00:20:51,664
but that's okay.
631
00:20:51,781 --> 00:20:53,549
Because I'll be back tomorrow
to ask you again.
632
00:20:53,617 --> 00:20:55,451
And again the next day.
633
00:20:55,519 --> 00:20:56,635
And the next day.
634
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:57,636
Not Friday.
635
00:20:57,721 --> 00:20:58,754
I have to go visit my cousin.
636
00:20:58,805 --> 00:21:00,306
But I will be back after that
637
00:21:00,390 --> 00:21:01,791
to ask you again.
638
00:21:01,858 --> 00:21:03,859
[...]
639
00:21:06,169 --> 00:21:09,047
[...]
640
00:21:09,623 --> 00:21:11,069
[...]
641
00:21:11,301 --> 00:21:14,370
Ah! You should do it.
642
00:21:14,438 --> 00:21:16,305
Uh, follow you dream.
643
00:21:16,373 --> 00:21:18,507
Oh, my God.
Really?
644
00:21:18,575 --> 00:21:19,508
That's awesome.
645
00:21:20,643 --> 00:21:22,778
I'll see you tomorrow.
646
00:21:22,846 --> 00:21:26,948
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