1 00:00:08,786 --> 00:00:10,220 We're asking everyone to do street parking. 2 00:00:10,254 --> 00:00:12,255 I'm not street parking my Mercedes. 3 00:00:12,289 --> 00:00:14,090 Well, everyone is. I'm doing it. 4 00:00:14,124 --> 00:00:16,226 'Cause nobody wants to steal a Saturn. 5 00:00:16,260 --> 00:00:19,362 All right, uh, moving on to recycling. 6 00:00:21,232 --> 00:00:23,166 - You okay, Ron? - Just a little tooth pain. 7 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,368 I'm fine. Continue. 8 00:00:25,402 --> 00:00:27,737 Okay, each department will be getting blue bins... 9 00:00:29,273 --> 00:00:31,307 Do you need to go to the dentist, Ron? 10 00:00:31,342 --> 00:00:33,009 I don't like dentists. 11 00:00:33,043 --> 00:00:35,078 Just a second. 12 00:00:35,112 --> 00:00:36,079 - Hey. - No, no. 13 00:00:36,113 --> 00:00:37,146 No! 14 00:00:37,181 --> 00:00:38,281 No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! 15 00:00:41,185 --> 00:00:42,819 Aah! 16 00:00:42,853 --> 00:00:45,154 - Oh! - What the? 17 00:00:45,189 --> 00:00:46,489 Oh, my God! 18 00:00:46,523 --> 00:00:48,791 I'm sorry, everybody. What were we talking about... 19 00:00:48,826 --> 00:00:50,793 Recycling? 20 00:00:50,828 --> 00:00:53,062 Dentist pulled the tooth out yesterday. 21 00:00:53,097 --> 00:00:55,465 But it's always a good idea to demonstrate 22 00:00:55,499 --> 00:00:57,600 to your co-workers that you are capable 23 00:00:57,635 --> 00:01:00,403 of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain. 24 00:01:00,437 --> 00:01:03,740 Plus, it's always fun to see Tom faint. 25 00:01:09,146 --> 00:01:19,146 Corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 26 00:01:26,196 --> 00:01:28,932 Attention, everybody! 27 00:01:28,966 --> 00:01:30,199 Everybody, listen up. 28 00:01:30,234 --> 00:01:33,970 You are all officially invited to a dinner party, 29 00:01:34,004 --> 00:01:35,305 7:00 P.M. tonight at our home, 30 00:01:35,339 --> 00:01:37,507 which is officially my friend Burly's home, 31 00:01:37,541 --> 00:01:39,275 because I don't have a home. 32 00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:40,643 That's it. There's no more left. 33 00:01:40,678 --> 00:01:41,945 Give it to him. 34 00:01:41,979 --> 00:01:43,313 We've been dating for almost a month, 35 00:01:43,347 --> 00:01:45,014 so we just decided 36 00:01:45,049 --> 00:01:47,317 that we wanted to do something special. 37 00:01:47,351 --> 00:01:50,954 And dinner parties do combine two of our favorite things... 38 00:01:50,988 --> 00:01:52,622 dinner and parties. 39 00:01:52,656 --> 00:01:54,157 - Parties. - Yeah. 40 00:01:54,191 --> 00:01:58,461 It's like if you could have a Xbox pancake. 41 00:01:58,495 --> 00:02:00,163 Your invitations include requests 42 00:02:00,197 --> 00:02:01,864 for each of you to bring stuff, 43 00:02:01,899 --> 00:02:03,366 'cause we don't have a whole lot. 44 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,035 - Don't be late. - Watch out. 45 00:02:06,070 --> 00:02:08,471 "Dearest Tom, please bring silverware." 46 00:02:08,505 --> 00:02:11,341 - "Please bring cooked steak." - This is ridiculous. 47 00:02:11,375 --> 00:02:12,608 They're young. They're in love. 48 00:02:12,643 --> 00:02:14,410 They're ready to show it to the world. 49 00:02:14,445 --> 00:02:15,611 It's very sweet. 50 00:02:15,646 --> 00:02:17,480 - And we're all going. - What? 51 00:02:17,514 --> 00:02:19,716 There's a boy's sale at Dillard's today. 52 00:02:19,750 --> 00:02:21,250 - Hey. - Oh, hey. 53 00:02:21,285 --> 00:02:22,552 You going tonight? 54 00:02:22,586 --> 00:02:25,388 Yeah. Apparently they want me to bring Avatar 55 00:02:25,422 --> 00:02:29,993 and 50 pairs of 3-d glasses and a 3-d-capable television. 56 00:02:30,027 --> 00:02:31,394 - Mm. - Yeah. 57 00:02:31,428 --> 00:02:33,329 Well, I will see you there, with all of those things. 58 00:02:33,364 --> 00:02:34,664 I was actually coming to see you. 59 00:02:34,698 --> 00:02:35,965 I wanted your advice on something. 60 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,067 - Oh, yeah? - My boss in Indianapolis... 61 00:02:38,102 --> 00:02:40,436 He wants me back on the road in a week. 62 00:02:40,471 --> 00:02:43,906 But then this morning Chris offered me a job 63 00:02:43,941 --> 00:02:47,377 to stay here in Pawnee and work for him. 64 00:02:47,411 --> 00:02:49,779 - Do you want to do that? - Well, I don't know. 65 00:02:49,813 --> 00:02:51,814 I've been moving around so much the past few years, 66 00:02:51,849 --> 00:02:54,183 it might be nice to stay in one place for a while. 67 00:02:54,218 --> 00:02:57,453 - What do you think? - Well, this is a great city. 68 00:02:57,488 --> 00:02:59,255 You know, it's definitely the best city in Indiana, 69 00:02:59,289 --> 00:03:01,357 probably America, possibly the world. 70 00:03:01,392 --> 00:03:02,892 Sure. 71 00:03:02,926 --> 00:03:04,927 But on the other hand, you've put in 12 years 72 00:03:04,962 --> 00:03:06,929 with the state government. 73 00:03:06,964 --> 00:03:08,398 So you think I should say no to Chris 74 00:03:08,432 --> 00:03:12,402 and head back to Indianapolis or...? 75 00:03:12,436 --> 00:03:14,937 It's a tough call. You know what I would do? 76 00:03:14,972 --> 00:03:16,873 You should make a pros and cons list. 77 00:03:16,907 --> 00:03:19,108 - That always works for me. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 78 00:03:19,143 --> 00:03:20,910 Okay, maybe I'll do that. 79 00:03:20,944 --> 00:03:22,879 Excellent. Nice talking to you. 80 00:03:22,913 --> 00:03:24,480 - Good stuff. - Yeah. 81 00:03:24,515 --> 00:03:26,082 Okay. 82 00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:31,220 So how does this work? 83 00:03:31,255 --> 00:03:32,822 All right, you just fill out your name tag, 84 00:03:32,856 --> 00:03:34,891 - and you're all set. - Okay. 85 00:03:34,925 --> 00:03:38,661 But I-I mean, do I just go up and talk to anyone, 86 00:03:38,695 --> 00:03:41,564 or do I wait for them to talk to me, or...? 87 00:03:41,598 --> 00:03:44,901 Are you asking me how to flirt with men? 88 00:03:44,935 --> 00:03:47,236 Okay. All right. 89 00:03:47,271 --> 00:03:48,638 It's a whole new Ann Perkins. 90 00:03:48,672 --> 00:03:51,307 I'm putting myself out there, meeting some new people, 91 00:03:51,341 --> 00:03:53,676 having some casual fun, 92 00:03:53,710 --> 00:03:56,779 and it is...awkward. 93 00:03:56,814 --> 00:04:00,283 Gayle went out and got me this new party shirt. 94 00:04:00,317 --> 00:04:02,652 So be honest... What do you guys think? 95 00:04:02,686 --> 00:04:03,920 You know what, Jerry? 96 00:04:03,954 --> 00:04:07,523 I make fun of you a lot, but credit where credit is due. 97 00:04:07,558 --> 00:04:11,260 You know, I like how the... 98 00:04:11,295 --> 00:04:15,698 Damn it. I was so close. It's a terrible shirt. 99 00:04:15,732 --> 00:04:18,267 Hey, guys. Okay, everybody listen up. 100 00:04:18,302 --> 00:04:20,937 April's friend Orin is here. 101 00:04:20,971 --> 00:04:23,172 He's very intense and very weird. 102 00:04:23,207 --> 00:04:24,674 So if you end up talking to him, 103 00:04:24,708 --> 00:04:26,175 just make sure you don't reveal 104 00:04:26,210 --> 00:04:27,944 anything personal about yourself. 105 00:04:27,978 --> 00:04:29,679 - Hey, gang. - Hey. 106 00:04:29,713 --> 00:04:32,482 - What'd you bring? - I was in charge of the cake. 107 00:04:32,516 --> 00:04:35,218 To be fair, it's not a cake so much as it is a vegetable loaf. 108 00:04:35,252 --> 00:04:36,986 You got your mushrooms, your alfalfa sprouts, 109 00:04:37,020 --> 00:04:40,356 your spinach, and I had it sweetened with fruit reduction. 110 00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:43,726 But did they ask you to bring a vegetable loaf or a cake? 111 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,028 No, a cake, but this is so much healthier. 112 00:04:46,063 --> 00:04:48,364 So not only does this thing exist, 113 00:04:48,398 --> 00:04:50,466 but now you have deprived everyone of cake. 114 00:04:50,501 --> 00:04:53,002 - Take a walk, Ron. - Yep. 115 00:04:58,275 --> 00:05:00,042 Donna. Oh, my God. 116 00:05:00,077 --> 00:05:02,178 I am so excited to see you here. 117 00:05:02,212 --> 00:05:06,315 These things are horrible when you're by yourself. 118 00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:07,517 What? 119 00:05:07,551 --> 00:05:09,719 Do you know where you are right now? 120 00:05:09,753 --> 00:05:12,221 We're in the jungle. There are no friends here. 121 00:05:12,256 --> 00:05:14,724 It's every woman for herself. 122 00:05:14,758 --> 00:05:17,493 - You're joking, right? - Do I look like I'm joking? 123 00:05:17,528 --> 00:05:20,596 Dating is a zero-sum game. 124 00:05:20,631 --> 00:05:24,500 If you get a man, I don't get that man. 125 00:05:24,535 --> 00:05:26,169 I'm here because of advice that you gave me 126 00:05:26,203 --> 00:05:28,204 to be more adventurous in my life. 127 00:05:28,238 --> 00:05:32,008 Here's some more advice... Beat it. 128 00:05:32,042 --> 00:05:33,342 Hey. 129 00:05:33,377 --> 00:05:35,478 Ben, heard you might be leaving Pawnee. 130 00:05:35,512 --> 00:05:38,781 I don't know. I'm thinking about it. 131 00:05:38,815 --> 00:05:40,082 Well, you are a huge nerd. 132 00:05:40,117 --> 00:05:41,884 But I'd be sorry to see you go, man. 133 00:05:41,919 --> 00:05:43,152 Thanks, Tom. 134 00:05:43,187 --> 00:05:44,787 Okay, this party needs a little help. 135 00:05:44,821 --> 00:05:46,122 I'll be right back. 136 00:05:46,156 --> 00:05:48,491 So are you going on, like, a year-long walking tour 137 00:05:48,525 --> 00:05:50,326 of the set of The Lord of the Rings 138 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:51,460 in New Zealand? 139 00:05:51,495 --> 00:05:53,462 To be honest with you, I wasn't a fan 140 00:05:53,497 --> 00:05:55,298 of, uh, Peter Jackson's interpretation. 141 00:05:55,332 --> 00:05:56,933 So you can put that one away. 142 00:05:56,967 --> 00:05:59,969 Andy, I think you maybe should put some more food out. 143 00:06:00,003 --> 00:06:03,306 Totally agree. Just firing up the bagel bites now. 144 00:06:03,340 --> 00:06:05,107 - Hey. - Oh, my God. 145 00:06:05,142 --> 00:06:06,609 What do you think? 146 00:06:06,643 --> 00:06:08,110 April, you're not supposed to let me see you. 147 00:06:08,145 --> 00:06:09,478 No, come on. You have to look. 148 00:06:09,513 --> 00:06:11,814 This is important. You have to tell me if I look good. 149 00:06:11,848 --> 00:06:13,316 Hey, guys, what's going on? 150 00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:15,885 Uh, it's supposed to be a big surprise. 151 00:06:15,919 --> 00:06:17,286 But tonight 152 00:06:17,321 --> 00:06:21,023 me and April are getting married... 153 00:06:21,058 --> 00:06:22,792 To each other. 154 00:06:25,429 --> 00:06:26,596 - Are you pregnant? - Yes. 155 00:06:26,630 --> 00:06:27,763 - Yes? - No. 156 00:06:27,798 --> 00:06:28,998 Are you sick? Are you terminal? 157 00:06:29,032 --> 00:06:30,399 Is it like that movie A Walk to Remember? 158 00:06:30,434 --> 00:06:31,400 - Yes. - What? 159 00:06:31,435 --> 00:06:33,102 - No. God. - Oh, God. 160 00:06:33,136 --> 00:06:34,770 Why are you doing this? 161 00:06:34,805 --> 00:06:37,073 Why is this great thing happening? 162 00:06:37,107 --> 00:06:39,809 Well, I mean, it's actually a really funny story. 163 00:06:39,843 --> 00:06:41,143 We were hanging out. 164 00:06:41,178 --> 00:06:43,813 And suddenly, I was like, 165 00:06:43,847 --> 00:06:45,514 "What if we got married tomorrow?" 166 00:06:45,549 --> 00:06:48,618 And she was like... 167 00:06:48,652 --> 00:06:49,919 "Fine." 168 00:06:49,953 --> 00:06:52,355 - She's fine. - That is a great story. 169 00:06:52,389 --> 00:06:54,290 But you guys haven't been together very long, 170 00:06:54,324 --> 00:06:55,891 and you have no place to live. 171 00:06:55,926 --> 00:06:57,226 We've been together long enough, 172 00:06:57,261 --> 00:06:58,494 and we'll find a place to live. 173 00:06:58,528 --> 00:06:59,695 Yeah. 174 00:06:59,730 --> 00:07:01,430 Like, a house or, like, a condo or something. 175 00:07:01,465 --> 00:07:02,598 Probably a condo. 176 00:07:02,633 --> 00:07:04,900 It's... you can't just get a condo. 177 00:07:04,935 --> 00:07:07,903 No, you're right... house. 178 00:07:07,938 --> 00:07:10,106 I love Andy and April as a couple. 179 00:07:10,140 --> 00:07:12,041 I want them to stay together forever. 180 00:07:12,075 --> 00:07:14,577 But relationships need planning. 181 00:07:14,611 --> 00:07:17,580 You just can't jump into something without thinking. 182 00:07:17,614 --> 00:07:20,883 It took me four years to find the right hairdresser, 183 00:07:20,917 --> 00:07:23,452 and we still fight all the time! 184 00:07:23,487 --> 00:07:25,388 Andy and April are gonna surprise people 185 00:07:25,422 --> 00:07:26,889 with a secret ceremony. 186 00:07:26,923 --> 00:07:29,292 Whoa. Secret wedding. 187 00:07:29,326 --> 00:07:31,327 Julia Roberts pulled the same move. 188 00:07:31,361 --> 00:07:33,863 Is that that toothy girl from Mystic Pizza? 189 00:07:33,897 --> 00:07:36,098 Ron, please, I need you to help me knock some sense 190 00:07:36,133 --> 00:07:37,266 into them. 191 00:07:37,301 --> 00:07:40,336 It's not really my place or yours. 192 00:07:40,370 --> 00:07:43,039 - Hi. I'm Ann. - Brian. 193 00:07:43,073 --> 00:07:44,707 What's your occupation? 194 00:07:44,741 --> 00:07:46,676 I'm a manager at a sporting-goods store. 195 00:07:46,710 --> 00:07:48,978 - No way. Me too. - Seriously? Which one? 196 00:07:49,012 --> 00:07:53,449 No, I'm not. Um, I-I was just ribbing you. 197 00:07:53,483 --> 00:07:56,185 - What are you drinking? - Yeah. 198 00:07:56,219 --> 00:07:58,688 - What? - Oh, I don't know. 199 00:07:58,722 --> 00:08:00,523 I-I couldn't hear you. 200 00:08:00,557 --> 00:08:04,493 So you just laughed and said, "Yeah"? 201 00:08:04,528 --> 00:08:07,463 - Yeah. - Excuse us. 202 00:08:07,497 --> 00:08:09,332 That was the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. 203 00:08:09,366 --> 00:08:10,866 Did you grow up in the woods? 204 00:08:10,901 --> 00:08:13,069 Are you Nell from the movie Nell? 205 00:08:13,103 --> 00:08:15,671 I told you I'm rusty. 206 00:08:15,706 --> 00:08:17,306 All right, come with me. 207 00:08:17,341 --> 00:08:18,874 - Hey, Andy. - Yeah. 208 00:08:18,909 --> 00:08:21,377 I know what's going down, and I'm so happy for you guys. 209 00:08:21,411 --> 00:08:22,712 Thank you, Tom. 210 00:08:22,746 --> 00:08:24,180 Hey, something just occurred to me. 211 00:08:24,214 --> 00:08:26,582 - Can I be your best man? - Yeah, dude, totally. 212 00:08:26,616 --> 00:08:28,417 - Thank you. - My best man. 213 00:08:29,619 --> 00:08:31,954 One of my life goals is to be a best man. 214 00:08:31,988 --> 00:08:33,889 It's a baller position. 215 00:08:33,924 --> 00:08:35,424 You get drunk. You make speeches. 216 00:08:35,459 --> 00:08:38,461 And you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, 217 00:08:38,495 --> 00:08:40,730 usually standing from behind. 218 00:08:40,764 --> 00:08:43,065 Look, I know that I cannot tell you what to do. 219 00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:44,600 I know it doesn't work... 220 00:08:44,634 --> 00:08:47,069 From all the times I've tried to tell you what to do before. 221 00:08:47,104 --> 00:08:48,404 But you know what would be fun? 222 00:08:48,438 --> 00:08:50,840 Maybe we should make a pros and cons list. 223 00:08:50,874 --> 00:08:53,008 Let me take you home, and then we'll go do that together. 224 00:08:53,043 --> 00:08:54,009 It'll be a blast. 225 00:08:54,044 --> 00:08:56,946 - Leslie, relax. - You relax. 226 00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:59,382 You relax all the way home and get into bed. 227 00:08:59,416 --> 00:09:01,917 - You need to go to bed. - April. 228 00:09:01,952 --> 00:09:03,419 Girl talk. 229 00:09:03,453 --> 00:09:05,921 Hey, uh, what's your middle name? 230 00:09:05,956 --> 00:09:07,890 The justice of the peace lady needs to know. 231 00:09:07,924 --> 00:09:09,625 You don't know each other's middle names? 232 00:09:09,659 --> 00:09:12,194 I don't want to say it out loud. 233 00:09:12,229 --> 00:09:14,463 - Ew! - Shut up. 234 00:09:14,498 --> 00:09:18,033 - Roberta! - Such a loser. 235 00:09:18,068 --> 00:09:21,036 - Can't believe I'm marrying him. - You don't have to. 236 00:09:21,071 --> 00:09:23,572 I'm going to. And then I'm gonna divorce him. 237 00:09:23,607 --> 00:09:26,108 Then I'm gonna marry him again. 238 00:09:26,143 --> 00:09:29,779 One time, I fell madly in love with a Civil War reenactor 239 00:09:29,813 --> 00:09:31,480 that I had only known for six hours. 240 00:09:31,515 --> 00:09:33,582 And then I found out he wore those clothes 241 00:09:33,617 --> 00:09:35,284 all the time. 242 00:09:35,318 --> 00:09:36,452 And he was married. 243 00:09:36,486 --> 00:09:39,155 But the clothes thing really bothered me. 244 00:09:40,424 --> 00:09:42,291 You always want to scribble the name. 245 00:09:42,325 --> 00:09:44,994 Make them read. Draw them in. 246 00:09:45,028 --> 00:09:47,296 - Make them work for it. - Right. 247 00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:48,798 Two shots of Jameson. 248 00:09:48,832 --> 00:09:51,567 Don't make too much eye contact. 249 00:09:51,601 --> 00:09:54,570 You want to seem available, but not too available. 250 00:09:54,604 --> 00:09:56,372 Oh, thanks. I think I'm good for now. 251 00:09:56,406 --> 00:09:58,441 - I'm not gonna... - Yeah. 252 00:10:00,710 --> 00:10:04,647 All right... Let's do this. 253 00:10:04,681 --> 00:10:06,849 Ron, you are so amazing 254 00:10:06,883 --> 00:10:10,519 with me and April, stuff. 255 00:10:10,554 --> 00:10:12,354 I love you, man. 256 00:10:12,389 --> 00:10:14,423 Would you be one of my best men? 257 00:10:14,458 --> 00:10:17,626 I'd be honored to, son. 258 00:10:17,661 --> 00:10:20,429 Chris, you helped me get April back. 259 00:10:20,464 --> 00:10:22,264 Would you be my best man? 260 00:10:22,299 --> 00:10:25,768 Nothing else in my entire life 261 00:10:25,802 --> 00:10:28,170 would make me happier as long as I live. 262 00:10:28,205 --> 00:10:31,874 Jerry. Ah, I'm so glad you made it. 263 00:10:31,908 --> 00:10:33,042 This shirt is hilarious. 264 00:10:33,076 --> 00:10:36,479 Derek and Ben, will you be my best men? 265 00:10:36,513 --> 00:10:39,148 Got a little competition for the best man, huh? 266 00:10:39,182 --> 00:10:41,550 Well, you know what the best best man does. 267 00:10:41,585 --> 00:10:43,786 Excuse me! 268 00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:46,155 Are there any strippers here? 269 00:10:46,189 --> 00:10:47,957 Former strippers? 270 00:10:47,991 --> 00:10:50,292 Non-dancers but you're feeling a little bit drunk? 271 00:10:50,327 --> 00:10:51,694 What are you doing? 272 00:10:51,728 --> 00:10:53,762 I'm throwing Andy an impromptu bachelor party. 273 00:10:53,797 --> 00:10:55,397 It's my duty as best man. 274 00:10:55,432 --> 00:10:56,966 The wedding's in four minutes. 275 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,434 It's that kind of negative thinking 276 00:10:58,468 --> 00:11:01,036 that makes you a less good best man. 277 00:11:01,071 --> 00:11:02,571 Hello? 278 00:11:02,606 --> 00:11:03,672 Hi, Ann, it's Leslie... 279 00:11:03,707 --> 00:11:05,441 Leslie Knope from the Parks Department. 280 00:11:05,475 --> 00:11:07,309 Yeah, I know. Where are you? 281 00:11:07,344 --> 00:11:09,111 April and Andy are getting married tonight. 282 00:11:09,145 --> 00:11:11,013 - What? - Yeah, I know. 283 00:11:11,047 --> 00:11:12,448 I need you to get down here, Ann. 284 00:11:12,482 --> 00:11:16,118 I need you to kiss him again or kiss her or kiss somebody. 285 00:11:16,152 --> 00:11:18,921 I don't know, Ann! Help me, please! 286 00:11:18,955 --> 00:11:20,990 Relationships are like scuba diving. 287 00:11:21,024 --> 00:11:23,993 If you come up too fast, you get the bends. 288 00:11:24,027 --> 00:11:25,327 And the reason why I know this 289 00:11:25,362 --> 00:11:26,729 is because I was dating a guy once, 290 00:11:26,763 --> 00:11:27,897 and we were scuba diving, 291 00:11:27,931 --> 00:11:29,365 and I told him that I loved him underwater, 292 00:11:29,399 --> 00:11:31,967 and he shot up really fast, and he got the bends. 293 00:11:32,002 --> 00:11:35,971 No, Orin, I don't know how I'm going to die. 294 00:11:36,006 --> 00:11:37,973 Wait. Are you asking me or telling me? 295 00:11:38,008 --> 00:11:39,642 Hey, can I talk to you for a second? 296 00:11:39,676 --> 00:11:40,743 Yes, please. 297 00:11:40,777 --> 00:11:42,811 April and Andy are about to get married. 298 00:11:42,846 --> 00:11:46,982 Wow. My Brita filter is older than their relationship. 299 00:11:47,017 --> 00:11:48,918 Wait a second. Should I change my Brita filter? 300 00:11:48,952 --> 00:11:51,020 I don't know. It depends on how frequently you use it. 301 00:11:51,054 --> 00:11:53,022 - It's true. - Stay focused, okay? Please. 302 00:11:53,056 --> 00:11:55,591 The point is two boneheads whom I love dearly 303 00:11:55,625 --> 00:11:57,159 are about to sacrifice their future 304 00:11:57,193 --> 00:11:58,928 'cause they haven't thought this thing through. 305 00:11:58,962 --> 00:12:00,396 And nobody seems concerned about this. 306 00:12:00,430 --> 00:12:03,766 Attention, everybody. Madames and... 307 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,335 Mis...Wahs. 308 00:12:06,369 --> 00:12:09,505 If you would do me the obligation 309 00:12:09,539 --> 00:12:14,843 of having your honor heretofore in the room 310 00:12:14,878 --> 00:12:17,546 doth right over there, uh, hence. 311 00:12:17,581 --> 00:12:18,681 What? 312 00:12:18,715 --> 00:12:20,683 Big event in that room, 15 minutes. 313 00:12:20,717 --> 00:12:22,585 Oh, my God. This is really happening. 314 00:12:22,619 --> 00:12:26,455 I love April and Andy. I want them to stay together. 315 00:12:26,489 --> 00:12:29,658 And that is why I have to stop their wedding. 316 00:12:32,329 --> 00:12:33,796 Remember how I told you there was going to be 317 00:12:33,830 --> 00:12:35,297 a surprise later? 318 00:12:35,332 --> 00:12:38,167 Well, the surprise is you're not actually at a dinner party. 319 00:12:38,201 --> 00:12:41,470 You're at our wedding. 320 00:12:43,873 --> 00:12:47,009 All right. Uh, let's do this. 321 00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:12,067 Ladies and gentlemen, 322 00:13:12,102 --> 00:13:13,636 we are gathered here today 323 00:13:13,670 --> 00:13:19,642 to marry Andrew Maxwell Dwyer and April Roberta Ludgate. 324 00:13:19,676 --> 00:13:22,945 I guess I kind of hate most things. 325 00:13:22,979 --> 00:13:26,949 But I never really seem to hate you. 326 00:13:26,983 --> 00:13:29,518 So I want to spend the rest of my life with you. 327 00:13:29,552 --> 00:13:31,620 - Is that cool? - Yes. 328 00:13:33,423 --> 00:13:34,890 - Is it my turn? - Yes. 329 00:13:34,924 --> 00:13:38,193 "April, you're the most awesome person I have ever known 330 00:13:38,228 --> 00:13:39,261 "in my entire life. 331 00:13:39,295 --> 00:13:43,799 "I vow to protect you from danger. 332 00:13:43,833 --> 00:13:46,001 "And I don't care if I have to fight 333 00:13:46,036 --> 00:13:48,504 "an ultimate fighter or a bear or him, 334 00:13:48,538 --> 00:13:50,939 "your mom... I would take them down." 335 00:13:50,974 --> 00:13:52,274 Andy. 336 00:13:52,308 --> 00:13:54,376 I'm getting mad right now even thinking about it. 337 00:13:54,411 --> 00:13:55,711 - I'm telling you. - It's okay. 338 00:13:55,745 --> 00:13:58,847 I want to spend the rest of my life... 339 00:13:58,882 --> 00:14:00,082 every minute... with you. 340 00:14:00,116 --> 00:14:04,820 And I'm the luckiest man in the galaxy. 341 00:14:04,854 --> 00:14:07,956 And now the rings. 342 00:14:10,927 --> 00:14:14,296 By the power vested in me by the state of Indiana, 343 00:14:14,330 --> 00:14:17,533 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 344 00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:26,241 - Go fly away. - Fly. Fly. 345 00:14:26,276 --> 00:14:28,077 - Wings of love. - Oh. 346 00:14:28,111 --> 00:14:29,311 Okay. All right. 347 00:14:29,345 --> 00:14:30,813 So that one is dead. We know that. 348 00:14:43,426 --> 00:14:45,561 You wouldn't have been able to stop it, you know. 349 00:14:45,595 --> 00:14:48,964 I could've yelled something or tackled someone. 350 00:14:48,998 --> 00:14:51,433 But you didn't, because deep down, 351 00:14:51,468 --> 00:14:53,102 you knew it wouldn't have mattered. 352 00:14:53,136 --> 00:14:55,003 Those kids are gonna do what they want to do. 353 00:14:55,038 --> 00:14:56,705 They may have just ruined their lives 354 00:14:56,740 --> 00:14:58,574 on an impulse decision. 355 00:14:58,608 --> 00:15:00,576 Leslie, I got married twice. 356 00:15:00,610 --> 00:15:03,078 Both times, I was a lot older than those two. 357 00:15:03,113 --> 00:15:06,815 And both marriages ended in divorce... 358 00:15:06,850 --> 00:15:08,517 And a burning effigy. 359 00:15:08,551 --> 00:15:11,053 Who's to say what works? 360 00:15:11,087 --> 00:15:14,389 You find somebody you like, and you roll the dice. 361 00:15:14,424 --> 00:15:17,192 That's all anybody can do. 362 00:15:17,227 --> 00:15:19,461 Wait. Weren't you married three times? 363 00:15:19,496 --> 00:15:22,464 Oh, my God, you're right. 364 00:15:24,567 --> 00:15:26,535 I get to burn another effigy. 365 00:15:26,569 --> 00:15:29,204 The key to burning an ex-wife effigy 366 00:15:29,239 --> 00:15:31,373 is to dip it in paraffin wax 367 00:15:31,407 --> 00:15:35,210 and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol... 368 00:15:35,245 --> 00:15:37,012 From a safe distance. 369 00:15:37,046 --> 00:15:38,881 Do not stand too close 370 00:15:38,915 --> 00:15:41,583 when you light an ex-wife effigy. 371 00:15:41,618 --> 00:15:45,187 My sister is lame, but Andy's sort of cool. 372 00:15:45,221 --> 00:15:47,923 I guess I kind of see why he'd marry her. 373 00:15:47,957 --> 00:15:50,659 Also, if anyone finds my gray hoodie, I lost it. 374 00:15:50,693 --> 00:15:52,127 Thanks. 375 00:15:54,931 --> 00:15:56,598 That was beautiful. 376 00:15:56,633 --> 00:16:01,503 You two remind me of me and my husband, George. 377 00:16:01,538 --> 00:16:03,405 I got to nail the speech. 378 00:16:03,439 --> 00:16:05,941 So I brought in an expert... Jean-Ralphio. 379 00:16:05,975 --> 00:16:07,776 Can I throw something on you, see if it feels good? 380 00:16:07,811 --> 00:16:09,144 Sure. 381 00:16:09,179 --> 00:16:10,345 Okay, this is what I would do. I would start with a joke. 382 00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:13,348 Joke, Vince Vaughn quote, obviously. 383 00:16:13,383 --> 00:16:15,984 Swingers Crashers? Fred Claus. 384 00:16:16,019 --> 00:16:17,786 Talk about Andy's ex-girlfriends. 385 00:16:17,821 --> 00:16:22,457 Quote from Love Actually. Hold back your tears. Pause. 386 00:16:22,492 --> 00:16:24,159 Drop the microphone. Get out of that bitch. 387 00:16:25,461 --> 00:16:28,030 I wish you the best of luck, to both of you. 388 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,968 Aw, thank you, grandma. 389 00:16:33,002 --> 00:16:35,804 How can anyone ever possibly top that? 390 00:16:35,839 --> 00:16:37,539 Am I right? 391 00:16:37,574 --> 00:16:39,474 So thank you all for all the talking. 392 00:16:39,509 --> 00:16:41,276 Let's just get back to dancing, huh? 393 00:16:43,613 --> 00:16:47,082 Cool. See you around maybe. 394 00:16:47,116 --> 00:16:50,018 - That went better, right? - Yes, it did. 395 00:16:50,053 --> 00:16:53,155 However, he proudly told me that he "beat herpes." 396 00:16:53,189 --> 00:16:55,390 I'm sorry, Donna. I'm gonna go home. 397 00:16:55,425 --> 00:16:57,659 I just found out Andy's getting married. 398 00:16:57,694 --> 00:17:00,996 - So? - So that's my ex-boyfriend. 399 00:17:01,030 --> 00:17:02,598 We were together for a really long time. 400 00:17:02,632 --> 00:17:05,133 - All right. - What? 401 00:17:05,168 --> 00:17:08,837 What? Listen, you are a hot, young doctor. 402 00:17:08,872 --> 00:17:10,906 - I'm a nurse, actually. - Okay, I don't know you. 403 00:17:10,940 --> 00:17:13,208 But I do know that you can fix your attitude. 404 00:17:13,243 --> 00:17:14,943 Do you want to go home and feel sorry for yourself 405 00:17:14,978 --> 00:17:16,445 about a man you didn't want to marry? 406 00:17:16,479 --> 00:17:18,046 Or do you want to go talk to that cute boy 407 00:17:18,081 --> 00:17:20,549 who has been looking at you and give him your number 408 00:17:20,583 --> 00:17:25,153 before I throw him in my Benz for myself? 409 00:17:25,188 --> 00:17:27,956 All right. 410 00:17:27,991 --> 00:17:31,526 I just want to thank my family, my friends, 411 00:17:31,561 --> 00:17:34,463 most importantly, my best best man, 412 00:17:34,497 --> 00:17:35,964 Mr. Tom Haverford. 413 00:17:35,999 --> 00:17:38,533 Oh! Coolest guy I know. 414 00:17:38,568 --> 00:17:40,469 And, ladies, he's single, I think. 415 00:17:40,503 --> 00:17:41,737 You're not still married, are you? 416 00:17:41,771 --> 00:17:45,040 - No. - But you... you're straight? 417 00:17:45,074 --> 00:17:47,009 - Yes. - Jean-Ralphio's just a friend? 418 00:17:47,043 --> 00:17:48,877 - Yeah. - Yeah! 419 00:17:48,912 --> 00:17:52,781 Anyways, oh, my God, I'm married! 420 00:17:52,815 --> 00:17:55,550 This is crazy. What happened? 421 00:17:55,585 --> 00:17:59,521 But, seriously, life is short, right? 422 00:17:59,555 --> 00:18:02,057 Uh, just... I really think you should just do 423 00:18:02,091 --> 00:18:03,358 whatever makes you happy. 424 00:18:03,393 --> 00:18:05,994 That's what April and I did. 425 00:18:06,029 --> 00:18:07,596 We are in love. 426 00:18:07,630 --> 00:18:09,831 So we didn't overthink it. 427 00:18:09,866 --> 00:18:14,202 I mean, seriously, I cannot emphasize 428 00:18:14,237 --> 00:18:16,171 how little we thought about this. 429 00:18:16,205 --> 00:18:17,839 Am I right? 430 00:18:17,874 --> 00:18:21,510 All right, well, this is a song I wrote for you, 431 00:18:21,544 --> 00:18:24,246 April Roberta Ludgate. 432 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,949 I love you. 433 00:18:47,971 --> 00:18:49,905 Exactly. Mortality. 434 00:18:49,939 --> 00:18:51,640 See, I like to take each day at a time. 435 00:18:51,674 --> 00:18:55,077 There's nothing in the world we can't accomplish if we try. 436 00:18:55,111 --> 00:18:56,345 I have to go. 437 00:18:56,379 --> 00:18:59,481 It's been great talking to you. 438 00:19:00,550 --> 00:19:02,184 - Hey. - Don't worry. 439 00:19:02,218 --> 00:19:03,752 I'm not gonna say another word. 440 00:19:03,786 --> 00:19:04,886 This is your day. 441 00:19:04,921 --> 00:19:08,824 I just wanted to say that... 442 00:19:08,858 --> 00:19:11,426 I'm really glad you're here. 443 00:19:11,461 --> 00:19:14,363 I think you're awesome, and I love you. 444 00:19:16,099 --> 00:19:17,099 Oh. 445 00:19:20,370 --> 00:19:22,170 What's the deal with that hot girl, April? 446 00:19:22,205 --> 00:19:24,106 - What's the deal with her? - Yeah. 447 00:19:24,140 --> 00:19:26,608 Like, she good to go? Like, she down to clown? 448 00:19:26,642 --> 00:19:29,945 She's married. 449 00:19:29,979 --> 00:19:31,480 She got married, like, 20 minutes ago. 450 00:19:31,514 --> 00:19:34,416 Oh, my God. That's the same girl from the thing. 451 00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:36,451 From the wedding ceremony, yeah. 452 00:19:36,486 --> 00:19:38,954 All the good ones are taken, huh, bro? 453 00:19:41,557 --> 00:19:43,692 Yeah. 454 00:19:48,831 --> 00:19:50,032 Hey. 455 00:19:52,502 --> 00:19:55,270 You should stay. 456 00:19:55,304 --> 00:19:58,473 Don't go back to Indianapolis. You should stay here. 457 00:19:58,508 --> 00:20:01,643 - You think? - Yeah. Yes. 458 00:20:01,677 --> 00:20:03,578 It's a great city here, you know? 459 00:20:03,613 --> 00:20:04,880 And there are great people. 460 00:20:04,914 --> 00:20:06,381 And you've made a lot of friends. 461 00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:07,749 And what are you gonna do... 462 00:20:07,784 --> 00:20:11,620 Go back to your old job and hack up people's budgets? 463 00:20:11,654 --> 00:20:14,456 Stay here. Help us build something. 464 00:20:14,490 --> 00:20:17,225 I already accepted the job. 465 00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:21,196 - I'm, uh... I'm staying here. - That's good. 466 00:20:21,230 --> 00:20:23,565 Yeah, I think so. 467 00:20:25,268 --> 00:20:27,803 - Orin's behind me, isn't he? - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 468 00:20:27,837 --> 00:20:28,870 - Okay. - Okay. 469 00:20:28,905 --> 00:20:30,138 - So just keep your eyes on me. - Okay. 470 00:20:30,173 --> 00:20:31,506 Don't panic, 'cause he can smell fear. 471 00:20:31,541 --> 00:20:32,574 Just keep talking to me. 472 00:20:32,608 --> 00:20:33,909 - Hi. - Hi. 473 00:20:33,943 --> 00:20:35,577 - How are you? - Good. How are you? 474 00:20:35,611 --> 00:20:38,046 - How was the wedding... - Run. 475 00:20:42,685 --> 00:20:44,019 "Hope we can get together soon." 476 00:20:44,053 --> 00:20:46,188 Okay, now you write, "Who is this?" 477 00:20:46,222 --> 00:20:47,456 Ah. 478 00:20:47,490 --> 00:20:49,491 Hey, you guys, we got a video from April and Andy. 479 00:20:49,525 --> 00:20:50,592 - Oh. Okay. - Whoo! 480 00:20:50,626 --> 00:20:51,860 Yeah! How you guys doing? 481 00:20:51,894 --> 00:20:53,762 - Hey, we're on our honeymoon. - It is awesome. 482 00:20:53,796 --> 00:20:58,533 We're at Burly's family vacation house on Lake Michigan. 483 00:20:58,568 --> 00:20:59,868 We're having so much fun, 484 00:20:59,902 --> 00:21:01,269 except for, uh, Roberta here 485 00:21:01,304 --> 00:21:03,772 turns out sucks at water-skiing so bad. 486 00:21:03,806 --> 00:21:04,806 I'm gonna divorce you. 487 00:21:04,841 --> 00:21:06,241 Andy sucks at driving a boat. 488 00:21:06,275 --> 00:21:09,010 And I'm gonna divorce him, probably right now. 489 00:21:09,045 --> 00:21:11,913 Well, they're still together. You owe me 20 bucks. 490 00:21:12,113 --> 00:21:22,113 Corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com