1
00:00:05,152 --> 00:00:05,952
Good morning, Ben.
2
00:00:06,991 --> 00:00:07,892
- Oh. Sorry.
- Sorry.
3
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:08,876
- Did I scare you?
- No.
4
00:00:08,961 --> 00:00:10,211
I just wanted to remind you
5
00:00:10,295 --> 00:00:11,913
of the art show
that's happening tonight
6
00:00:11,997 --> 00:00:13,331
at the Community Center.
7
00:00:13,398 --> 00:00:14,599
It's gonna be a lot of fun.
8
00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:15,833
- Great. Great.
- Yeah.
9
00:00:15,901 --> 00:00:17,218
Well, that sounds cool.
10
00:00:17,286 --> 00:00:18,803
That sounds like something
that'll be a big success,
11
00:00:18,870 --> 00:00:20,087
you know?
12
00:00:20,155 --> 00:00:22,106
I mean, like everything
that you, uh--that you put
13
00:00:22,174 --> 00:00:24,875
your--your--your paws on--
your fingers.
14
00:00:24,927 --> 00:00:27,094
Leslie Knope!
Ben Wyatt.
15
00:00:27,162 --> 00:00:28,579
Ben, great news--
16
00:00:28,647 --> 00:00:30,247
do you remember
the woman I told you about
17
00:00:30,315 --> 00:00:32,049
from the County Commissioner's
office?
18
00:00:32,117 --> 00:00:34,552
- Um, vaguely.
- Sure you do-- Cindy Miller.
19
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:36,887
Anyway, she's agreed to go out
on a date with you.
20
00:00:36,939 --> 00:00:40,224
Oh, you asked her out
for me?
21
00:00:40,292 --> 00:00:41,726
And you're gonna love her.
22
00:00:41,777 --> 00:00:45,129
She is interesting, smart,
and beautiful, inside and out.
23
00:00:45,197 --> 00:00:47,398
Inner beauty
is very important.
24
00:00:47,449 --> 00:00:50,651
And outer beauty is also
very important.
25
00:00:50,736 --> 00:00:51,953
I thought you had a rule
26
00:00:52,037 --> 00:00:55,105
about inter-government
relationships.
27
00:00:55,157 --> 00:00:56,440
Oh, don't worry.
28
00:00:56,508 --> 00:00:58,209
Her department is
completely separate from ours.
29
00:00:58,276 --> 00:01:01,111
This isn't anything like your
affair with Tom Haverford.
30
00:01:01,163 --> 00:01:02,847
- We weren't--you--you--
- I'm sorry.
31
00:01:02,914 --> 00:01:04,882
- Who are you calling?
- Cindy Miller.
32
00:01:04,949 --> 00:01:06,617
Cindy Miller!
Chris Traeger.
33
00:01:06,668 --> 00:01:08,302
Guess who is standing
in this room
34
00:01:08,387 --> 00:01:09,854
- with me right now.
- Oh, um...
35
00:01:09,921 --> 00:01:12,923
Ben Wyatt.
Ben, say hello.
36
00:01:12,975 --> 00:01:14,892
Uh, hi, Cindy.
Sorry.
37
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:17,762
Hi.
No apology necessary.
38
00:01:17,829 --> 00:01:19,397
It's just Chris being Chris.
39
00:01:22,868 --> 00:01:24,335
How are you doing?
40
00:01:24,403 --> 00:01:25,936
Ooh, sparks are flying!
41
00:01:25,988 --> 00:01:27,655
I may have to call
the fire department.
42
00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:28,939
That's a government joke.
43
00:01:28,991 --> 00:01:30,841
I love setting people up.
44
00:01:30,909 --> 00:01:32,526
Here's my secret--
45
00:01:32,611 --> 00:01:35,379
I determine
someone's best qualities,
46
00:01:35,447 --> 00:01:39,050
and then I find someone else
with compatible qualities.
47
00:01:42,087 --> 00:01:43,854
And I bring them together.
48
00:01:43,922 --> 00:01:53,922
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
49
00:02:04,109 --> 00:02:07,144
Ugh. God, this sucks.
50
00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:09,513
Oh. Why don't you just go
home for the rest of the day?
51
00:02:09,564 --> 00:02:11,899
I can't go home, 'cause I
have this art-show opening
52
00:02:11,983 --> 00:02:13,350
at the Community Center.
53
00:02:13,418 --> 00:02:15,018
And I can't stay here
because I see Ben.
54
00:02:15,070 --> 00:02:18,289
And I can't date Ben because
of Chris' stupid rules.
55
00:02:18,356 --> 00:02:20,958
- I feel so...
- Powerless.
56
00:02:21,025 --> 00:02:23,427
Yeah.
I'm like that lightbulb--
57
00:02:23,495 --> 00:02:27,364
weak, flickering,
barely giving off any light,
58
00:02:27,416 --> 00:02:29,500
unable to make out
with the lightbulb
59
00:02:29,568 --> 00:02:31,201
I want to make out with.
60
00:02:31,253 --> 00:02:33,337
You know what might
make you feel better?
61
00:02:33,388 --> 00:02:35,506
- A hug?
- Paxil.
62
00:02:35,574 --> 00:02:37,108
Do you want me to get you
a prescription?
63
00:02:37,175 --> 00:02:38,542
Ugh.
64
00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:41,378
Hey, Tom,
uh, question for you--
65
00:02:41,430 --> 00:02:43,397
do you know anyone who's
looking for a roommate?
66
00:02:43,482 --> 00:02:46,049
- How hot?
- I--what?
67
00:02:46,101 --> 00:02:48,853
How hot is the woman that's
looking for a place to stay?
68
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:50,855
- No, it's me. I'm looking.
- Oh, come on, that's not fair.
69
00:02:50,906 --> 00:02:52,723
You shouldn't have led me
to believe
70
00:02:52,791 --> 00:02:54,458
- it was a beautiful woman.
- I didn't.
71
00:02:54,526 --> 00:02:55,760
I've been staying
72
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:58,562
at the Pawnee Supersuites
Motel for seven months.
73
00:02:58,630 --> 00:03:00,131
It's a charming little inn
74
00:03:00,198 --> 00:03:02,583
with wonderfully random
wake-up calls,
75
00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:04,935
delightfully unstable
temperatures,
76
00:03:05,003 --> 00:03:08,005
and, as of yesterday,
bedbugs.
77
00:03:08,072 --> 00:03:10,925
"Four stars!" Says nobody.
78
00:03:11,009 --> 00:03:12,777
I wish I could help you out,
Benihana, but I can't.
79
00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:13,978
I have a one-bedroom.
80
00:03:14,045 --> 00:03:15,546
I can't have a dude
sleeping on my couch
81
00:03:15,614 --> 00:03:17,515
- if and when I bring home a lady.
- Mm.
82
00:03:17,582 --> 00:03:19,550
I have a ritual,
and it starts on the couch.
83
00:03:19,601 --> 00:03:20,718
- Ecch.
- We sit down.
84
00:03:20,786 --> 00:03:22,486
- Okay. Yep.
- Clap my hands.
85
00:03:22,554 --> 00:03:23,888
- Lights dim.
- I understand.
86
00:03:23,939 --> 00:03:24,939
- Boyz II Men...
- Please stop.
87
00:03:25,023 --> 00:03:26,524
- Fades in.
- Nope. Nope.
88
00:03:26,591 --> 00:03:28,642
You don't need to explain
the ritual-- I'm good.
89
00:03:28,727 --> 00:03:30,161
Oh, you know who might
be able to help
90
00:03:30,228 --> 00:03:31,829
a homeless dude,
such as yourself?
91
00:03:31,897 --> 00:03:33,397
This is awesomely perfect.
92
00:03:33,465 --> 00:03:35,699
Burly just moved in
with his rich girlfriend,
93
00:03:35,767 --> 00:03:37,368
and we need help
with the rent.
94
00:03:37,435 --> 00:03:38,786
We have
a couple house rules, though.
95
00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:40,471
Yeah, sure. Of course.
96
00:03:40,539 --> 00:03:41,655
You can't use
the front door.
97
00:03:41,740 --> 00:03:43,174
You have to climb in
through the back window.
98
00:03:43,241 --> 00:03:44,742
No personal
phone conversations.
99
00:03:44,810 --> 00:03:46,177
If you ever speak to me
in Spanish,
100
00:03:46,244 --> 00:03:47,812
please use the formal usted.
101
00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:50,080
And no electricity
after 6:00 P.M.
102
00:03:50,132 --> 00:03:52,216
She's joking.
103
00:03:52,284 --> 00:03:53,717
Okay.
104
00:03:53,785 --> 00:03:55,452
You can use as much
free electricity as you want.
105
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,921
- It's free.
- Couple more rules--
106
00:03:56,972 --> 00:03:58,322
if you ever watch
a sad movie,
107
00:03:58,390 --> 00:03:59,640
you have to wear mascara
108
00:03:59,724 --> 00:04:01,425
so we can see whether or not
you've been crying.
109
00:04:01,493 --> 00:04:03,727
There's no noise allowed
on mondays
110
00:04:03,795 --> 00:04:05,563
and no TV after breakfast.
111
00:04:05,630 --> 00:04:08,649
She is lying again.
112
00:04:08,733 --> 00:04:10,734
She is--
'cause it's hard to tell.
113
00:04:10,802 --> 00:04:12,135
No. We leave the tv on
all day long
114
00:04:12,187 --> 00:04:13,871
so burglars think that
we're home when we're not,
115
00:04:13,939 --> 00:04:16,407
which is my idea
that I'm trying to patent.
116
00:04:16,474 --> 00:04:21,545
So you want to move in
tonight?
117
00:04:21,613 --> 00:04:25,149
Yeah. Sure.
That'd be great.
118
00:04:25,217 --> 00:04:27,785
- You want my gum?
- Mm-hmm.
119
00:04:31,556 --> 00:04:34,291
Ugh. Ron, can you make
the opening remarks?
120
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,710
I-I just--
I'm not in the mood.
121
00:04:36,795 --> 00:04:38,662
Neither am I, ever.
122
00:04:38,730 --> 00:04:41,182
What's wrong with you?
You live for this kind of stuff.
123
00:04:41,266 --> 00:04:42,666
I don't have it in me
right now.
124
00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:44,802
Ron, please, do it for me.
125
00:04:44,853 --> 00:04:46,720
Make the speech.
Ron. Please. Please.
126
00:04:46,805 --> 00:04:47,838
- Give the speech, Ron.
- No.
127
00:04:47,906 --> 00:04:49,273
- Yes. Please. Ron.
- No.
128
00:04:49,340 --> 00:04:50,374
Please.
Please give the speech.
129
00:04:50,442 --> 00:04:51,976
- Please give the speech.
- No, I won't.
130
00:04:52,043 --> 00:04:53,611
- Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes...
- No way.
131
00:04:53,678 --> 00:04:55,312
- Please. Please. Please...
- No.
132
00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:57,698
- Yes. Yes. Yes.
- All right! Damn it, woman.
133
00:04:57,782 --> 00:05:01,018
Okay, everyone, shut up!
134
00:05:01,086 --> 00:05:03,287
And look at me!
135
00:05:03,355 --> 00:05:05,739
Welcome
to Visions of Nature.
136
00:05:05,824 --> 00:05:07,741
This room
has several paintings in it.
137
00:05:07,826 --> 00:05:09,693
Some are big.
Some are small.
138
00:05:09,761 --> 00:05:12,029
People did them,
and they are here now.
139
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,697
I believe
that after this is over,
140
00:05:13,765 --> 00:05:15,633
they'll be hung
in government buildings.
141
00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:18,969
Why the government is involved
in an art show is beyond me.
142
00:05:19,037 --> 00:05:20,471
I also think it's pointless
143
00:05:20,538 --> 00:05:23,307
for a human
to paint scenes of nature
144
00:05:23,375 --> 00:05:25,776
when they could just go
outside and stand in it.
145
00:05:25,844 --> 00:05:28,579
Anyway, please do not
misinterpret the fact
146
00:05:28,647 --> 00:05:32,016
that I am talking right now
as genuine interest in art
147
00:05:32,083 --> 00:05:34,351
and attempt to discuss it
with me further.
148
00:05:34,419 --> 00:05:36,186
End of speech.
149
00:05:36,254 --> 00:05:37,888
And this is the TV room.
150
00:05:37,956 --> 00:05:41,358
Oh, my God.
151
00:05:41,426 --> 00:05:43,227
Yeah, it's a mess.
152
00:05:51,703 --> 00:05:53,304
Could you throw that
in the trash can?
153
00:05:53,371 --> 00:05:55,606
I was just here, like, three
weeks ago for your wedding.
154
00:05:55,674 --> 00:05:57,074
What happened?
155
00:05:57,142 --> 00:05:58,275
I don't know.
Burly moved out.
156
00:05:58,343 --> 00:05:59,843
He was the one
that did all the cleaning
157
00:05:59,911 --> 00:06:01,412
and throwing away and stuff.
158
00:06:01,479 --> 00:06:02,913
Wait, he moved out,
like, a week ago.
159
00:06:02,964 --> 00:06:04,581
You guys made this mess
in a week?
160
00:06:04,649 --> 00:06:06,250
Well, I always think
April's gonna clean up.
161
00:06:06,318 --> 00:06:09,386
- And I never clean up.
- It's cute, right?
162
00:06:09,454 --> 00:06:11,722
- No.
- Yes, it is.
163
00:06:13,275 --> 00:06:17,394
Are you guys frying marbles?
164
00:06:17,462 --> 00:06:18,979
We were checking to see
if the fire alarm worked.
165
00:06:19,064 --> 00:06:20,064
It doesn't.
166
00:06:20,131 --> 00:06:22,933
The biggest challenge
to picking
167
00:06:22,984 --> 00:06:24,835
the perfect roommate
168
00:06:24,903 --> 00:06:27,738
is finding someone
who's willing to pay
169
00:06:27,806 --> 00:06:30,941
more than their share of rent
without knowing it.
170
00:06:31,009 --> 00:06:32,810
I think
we found that in Ben.
171
00:06:36,681 --> 00:06:39,316
You forgot to paint
a painting, son.
172
00:06:39,384 --> 00:06:41,085
So for my painting,
173
00:06:41,152 --> 00:06:43,921
I chose one of my
very favorite Greek myths--
174
00:06:43,972 --> 00:06:48,258
the centaur goddess Dyaphena
slaying a great stag.
175
00:06:48,326 --> 00:06:51,562
- It's, uh, stunning.
- It's breathtaking, Jerry.
176
00:06:51,629 --> 00:06:54,765
- Yeah. Really is.
- Wow. Thanks, guys.
177
00:06:54,816 --> 00:06:57,634
Hey, Leslie, you should
really come over here and look
178
00:06:57,686 --> 00:06:58,635
at Jerry's painting.
179
00:06:58,687 --> 00:07:00,337
Oh.
Oh, my God.
180
00:07:02,607 --> 00:07:04,608
That's me.
Is that me?
181
00:07:04,659 --> 00:07:08,946
What?
No.
182
00:07:08,997 --> 00:07:10,614
Oh, jeez, it does look
like you.
183
00:07:10,665 --> 00:07:12,149
You're just realizing
that now?
184
00:07:12,217 --> 00:07:13,817
That's what you see
when you close your eyes
185
00:07:13,885 --> 00:07:16,487
at night, Jerry-- topless
Leslie glued to a horse.
186
00:07:17,956 --> 00:07:19,523
Okay, Leslie,
I am just so, so sorry.
187
00:07:19,591 --> 00:07:21,525
Dyaphena--
she is this powerful goddess.
188
00:07:21,593 --> 00:07:24,194
And I've been thinking a lot
about powerful women.
189
00:07:24,262 --> 00:07:27,431
And subconsciously,
I painted you.
190
00:07:27,499 --> 00:07:28,849
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna take it right down.
191
00:07:28,933 --> 00:07:32,403
No. Leave it up.
192
00:07:32,470 --> 00:07:34,538
I love it.
193
00:07:34,606 --> 00:07:36,173
I don't know
how to explain it.
194
00:07:36,224 --> 00:07:38,876
Every time I look at it,
I just think to myself,
195
00:07:38,943 --> 00:07:41,645
"what can't
that centaur woman do?"
196
00:07:41,696 --> 00:07:44,031
Besides ride an escalator
and drive a car.
197
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:49,586
Art can be so magnificent.
198
00:07:49,654 --> 00:07:51,355
Oh, my God.
The baby is Tom.
199
00:07:51,423 --> 00:07:52,522
What?
200
00:07:52,574 --> 00:07:55,592
This is easily
my favorite painting ever.
201
00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:58,262
What the hell, Jerry?
Look at my potbelly.
202
00:07:58,329 --> 00:08:01,031
I look like a pregnant baby!
And why am I so scared?
203
00:08:01,099 --> 00:08:02,549
All right, we got to take
this down now.
204
00:08:02,634 --> 00:08:03,884
Isn't going anywhere, Tom.
No, this painting
205
00:08:03,968 --> 00:08:05,052
it's staying right here.
206
00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:07,638
Hello, fellow lover
of the arts.
207
00:08:07,705 --> 00:08:10,174
Welcome to the painting.
208
00:08:10,241 --> 00:08:12,893
What--is that you?
209
00:08:12,977 --> 00:08:16,113
- Looks hot.
- Thank you.
210
00:08:16,181 --> 00:08:19,733
This guy's in it too.
He's the little fat baby.
211
00:08:19,818 --> 00:08:22,519
- Cool.
- Yeah.
212
00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:24,554
What's going on over here?
213
00:08:24,606 --> 00:08:26,523
Baby rolls?
214
00:08:31,606 --> 00:08:34,523
Oh. We've been trying to grt
that light fixed for months.
215
00:08:33,689 --> 00:08:36,391
- Thank you.
- Thank her.
216
00:08:36,459 --> 00:08:37,892
Good morning, Tom.
217
00:08:37,944 --> 00:08:39,628
She marched into my office
this morning
218
00:08:39,695 --> 00:08:42,030
and told me she wouldn't leave
until I got this done.
219
00:08:42,097 --> 00:08:44,666
Hmm. Well, I'm glad
someone's feeling good.
220
00:08:44,734 --> 00:08:48,169
They're gonna hang that
painting in a public building
221
00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:50,071
where anybody can see it.
222
00:08:50,122 --> 00:08:52,657
In one brushstroke,
Jerry has killed
223
00:08:52,742 --> 00:08:55,010
the Jay-Z vibe that's taken me
years to cultivate
224
00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:57,579
and replaced it with a fat,
brown, baby vibe,
225
00:08:57,630 --> 00:08:59,414
which is not as cool
of a vibe.
226
00:08:59,482 --> 00:09:01,583
Hey, Aphrodite,
Chris needs you in his office.
227
00:09:01,634 --> 00:09:03,385
Hmm.
228
00:09:03,452 --> 00:09:05,854
When you're done with the
light, fix the printer.
229
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,522
I don't know
how to fix printers.
230
00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,491
Learn it.
231
00:09:09,558 --> 00:09:14,195
- Leslie, should I go too?
- This isn't about you, Jerry.
232
00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,598
It's my painting.
233
00:09:16,649 --> 00:09:18,233
Why am I upset?
234
00:09:18,301 --> 00:09:20,151
Uh, let's start
with government-funded
235
00:09:20,236 --> 00:09:21,636
animal porn.
236
00:09:21,704 --> 00:09:23,438
Oh, I'm not sure
that's fair.
237
00:09:23,506 --> 00:09:25,273
I want it destroyed,
and I want a statement
238
00:09:25,324 --> 00:09:28,209
from this office apologizing
for an obscene depiction
239
00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:29,377
of bestiality.
240
00:09:29,445 --> 00:09:31,146
Be--bestiality?
241
00:09:31,213 --> 00:09:32,947
It is a picture
of a centaur--
242
00:09:32,999 --> 00:09:35,116
a beautiful half person,
half horse.
243
00:09:35,167 --> 00:09:36,985
And how did it get
like that?
244
00:09:37,053 --> 00:09:40,822
Who had sex with what
and gave birth to which?
245
00:09:40,873 --> 00:09:43,708
Miss Langman, we hear
you, we understand you,
246
00:09:43,793 --> 00:09:45,660
and we are going to do
whatever we can
247
00:09:45,728 --> 00:09:47,796
to come to a solution.
248
00:09:47,863 --> 00:09:50,098
Destroy it.
249
00:09:50,165 --> 00:09:52,851
Destroy it?
I mean, is she serious?
250
00:09:52,935 --> 00:09:55,470
Do you find this
personally offensive?
251
00:09:55,538 --> 00:09:57,339
Not personally, no.
252
00:09:57,406 --> 00:09:59,274
No, personally, I enjoy
a good artistic depiction
253
00:09:59,342 --> 00:10:00,942
of the human form.
254
00:10:01,009 --> 00:10:02,944
I've dabbled
in nude sculpture.
255
00:10:03,012 --> 00:10:04,396
I've posed nude.
256
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,715
In college, I was in a nude
production of Cats.
257
00:10:06,782 --> 00:10:07,882
Mm.
258
00:10:07,950 --> 00:10:09,367
But I am not
in the nude now, am I?
259
00:10:09,452 --> 00:10:10,785
Because we're
in a government building.
260
00:10:10,853 --> 00:10:12,187
And that would be
inappropriate,
261
00:10:12,254 --> 00:10:14,522
which is what I think
Marcia is saying.
262
00:10:14,590 --> 00:10:16,357
So take care
of the situation.
263
00:10:16,409 --> 00:10:18,893
That painting
is not gonna be destroyed.
264
00:10:18,961 --> 00:10:21,496
Every great work of art
contains a message.
265
00:10:21,564 --> 00:10:25,200
And the message of this
painting is, "get out of my way
266
00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:29,671
unless you want an arrow
in your ass, Marcia."
267
00:10:29,739 --> 00:10:32,373
Morning, roomie.
How'd you sleep?
268
00:10:32,425 --> 00:10:35,343
Well, there were no bedbugs.
Also no bed.
269
00:10:35,411 --> 00:10:37,612
I'm gonna go buy a bed.
270
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,347
- Fork.
- I'm sorry...
271
00:10:39,398 --> 00:10:42,517
Are you eating turkey chili
off of a frisbee?
272
00:10:42,585 --> 00:10:45,904
It's pretty cute, right?
273
00:10:45,988 --> 00:10:49,223
No. Do you know
what "cute" means?
274
00:10:49,275 --> 00:10:50,925
What have you got against
turkey chili for breakfast?
275
00:10:50,993 --> 00:10:53,395
What have you guys got
against washing dishes?
276
00:10:53,462 --> 00:10:54,863
We don't have
any dishes, okay?
277
00:10:54,930 --> 00:10:56,948
Burly took them all
when he left.
278
00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:58,700
Now I bet you feel
like a jerk.
279
00:10:58,751 --> 00:11:02,203
Oh, God. Okay, I might need
to not stay here anymore.
280
00:11:02,254 --> 00:11:03,505
No. Sorry, dude.
281
00:11:03,572 --> 00:11:05,423
We already spent your money
on a new Xbox 360
282
00:11:05,508 --> 00:11:06,841
and more frisbees
to eat off of.
283
00:11:06,909 --> 00:11:08,109
- You got to stay.
- Oh, God.
284
00:11:08,177 --> 00:11:10,879
Okay. All right.
Here's the deal--
285
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:15,350
We're gonna clean
this place up, okay?
286
00:11:15,418 --> 00:11:18,153
And then I'm going to teach
you how to be adults.
287
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:21,356
Cool.
We'll get to be adults.
288
00:11:21,424 --> 00:11:25,193
Gee, golly, thanks, mister.
289
00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:26,945
Fork.
290
00:11:27,029 --> 00:11:28,496
Hello, I'm Perd Hapley
291
00:11:28,564 --> 00:11:30,832
and welcome to
Ya' heard? With Perd.
292
00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:33,201
Today's show begins now.
293
00:11:33,269 --> 00:11:35,870
Is this art,
or is it pornography?
294
00:11:35,938 --> 00:11:37,906
Here to answer this question
295
00:11:37,973 --> 00:11:39,874
is Parks and Recreation
deputy director Leslie Knope.
296
00:11:39,942 --> 00:11:42,544
Perd, it is a beautiful work
of art.
297
00:11:42,611 --> 00:11:44,846
Governments should not be
in the business of censorship,
298
00:11:44,914 --> 00:11:47,715
especially when a painting
is as awesome as this one.
299
00:11:47,783 --> 00:11:49,451
But this
is where the controversy
300
00:11:49,518 --> 00:11:52,170
of this story
gets even more controversial.
301
00:11:52,254 --> 00:11:54,155
You are the subject
of this painting--
302
00:11:54,223 --> 00:11:57,058
half woman, half horse,
303
00:11:57,126 --> 00:11:59,694
with what some would say
are human breasts.
304
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,429
I am not the subject.
305
00:12:01,497 --> 00:12:05,967
The subject is strong and
empowered women everywhere.
306
00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:09,137
But it--it does look
a little bit like me.
307
00:12:09,205 --> 00:12:11,856
Leslie, for our viewers
at home who might not know,
308
00:12:11,941 --> 00:12:13,408
are centaurs real?
309
00:12:13,476 --> 00:12:17,178
- No.
- You absolutely sure?
310
00:12:17,246 --> 00:12:18,863
Okay. So you always
separate your lights
311
00:12:18,948 --> 00:12:20,331
from your darks.
312
00:12:20,399 --> 00:12:21,683
That's racist.
313
00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:23,117
And then you get
your laundry d--
314
00:12:23,169 --> 00:12:24,352
Where's your
laundry detergent?
315
00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:26,604
Right. Here we are.
316
00:12:26,672 --> 00:12:29,390
Okay.
This is, uh, bubble bath.
317
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:32,660
You guys--you wash your
clothes in bubble bath?
318
00:12:32,728 --> 00:12:34,929
Eh, bubble bath,
clothes soap, same thing.
319
00:12:34,997 --> 00:12:36,431
No, it's not.
320
00:12:36,498 --> 00:12:40,001
Well, they both
make bubbles, so...
321
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,637
It was never our intention
to offend anyone.
322
00:12:42,688 --> 00:12:45,940
I guess some people object
to powerful depictions
323
00:12:46,008 --> 00:12:47,842
- of awesome ladies.
- Okay.
324
00:12:47,910 --> 00:12:50,512
Also joining us today
is a different person,
325
00:12:50,579 --> 00:12:52,714
pornographic film actress
Brandi Maxxxx.
326
00:12:52,781 --> 00:12:54,199
Pleasure to be here.
327
00:12:54,283 --> 00:12:57,185
Brandi, you've starred
in over 200 adult films,
328
00:12:57,253 --> 00:12:59,087
some which are very good.
329
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:00,488
When'd you get
in the business?
330
00:13:00,556 --> 00:13:01,823
- Last year.
- Fantastic.
331
00:13:01,891 --> 00:13:05,860
Now, this painting right
here-- art or pornography?
332
00:13:05,928 --> 00:13:08,396
Perd, I think this whole
debate is ridiculous.
333
00:13:08,464 --> 00:13:10,698
What Leslie and I do
is obviously art.
334
00:13:10,766 --> 00:13:12,533
Oh, hang on.
335
00:13:12,585 --> 00:13:15,803
Um, there's a big difference
between an oil painting
336
00:13:15,871 --> 00:13:18,239
of a Greek myth
and a pornographic movie.
337
00:13:18,307 --> 00:13:19,507
It's okay, Leslie.
I got this one.
338
00:13:19,558 --> 00:13:20,708
What?
339
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,110
What Leslie and I
want people to know
340
00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,912
is you should be able
to have sex anywhere you want
341
00:13:23,979 --> 00:13:25,480
and show it
anywhere you want,
342
00:13:25,548 --> 00:13:27,048
whether
it's girl-on-girl action,
343
00:13:27,116 --> 00:13:29,884
bondage, or what have you.
344
00:13:29,952 --> 00:13:31,386
Okay. Hang on.
345
00:13:31,453 --> 00:13:33,655
Pornography is very difficult
to define.
346
00:13:33,722 --> 00:13:35,073
Um, in fact,
it was justice Stewart
347
00:13:35,157 --> 00:13:36,891
who once said,
"I can't define pornography,
348
00:13:36,959 --> 00:13:39,093
but I know it
when I see it."
349
00:13:39,161 --> 00:13:40,895
Brandi, how would you define
pornography?
350
00:13:40,963 --> 00:13:43,031
For me, it's when the penis
goes in.
351
00:13:48,270 --> 00:13:50,505
All right, we need to do
some basic organization.
352
00:13:50,573 --> 00:13:53,608
Where do you put your bills
when they come?
353
00:13:53,676 --> 00:13:57,178
I read the magazines
and give the rest to Andy.
354
00:13:57,246 --> 00:14:00,515
Which I organize
into a pile or stack
355
00:14:00,582 --> 00:14:02,050
that I put into the freezer.
356
00:14:02,101 --> 00:14:07,355
- Why?
- So they won't get lost.
357
00:14:07,423 --> 00:14:09,424
Bingo.
358
00:14:13,429 --> 00:14:15,496
Okay, you have to pay these.
359
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:17,598
Good thing
I didn't lose them.
360
00:14:17,650 --> 00:14:21,269
Okay, new lesson--
basic finance.
361
00:14:21,337 --> 00:14:25,640
I'm gonna teach you
how to balance a checkbook.
362
00:14:25,708 --> 00:14:29,827
Okay, I am going to teach you
how to open a bank account.
363
00:14:32,214 --> 00:14:34,248
Bank account. Good.
364
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:35,833
Brandi,
I'm Thomas Haverford.
365
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:37,285
I just wanted to say
I thought you made
366
00:14:37,353 --> 00:14:38,686
some excellent points
up there.
367
00:14:38,754 --> 00:14:40,972
I totally agree with you
that people should be allowed
368
00:14:41,056 --> 00:14:42,323
to have sex
in public places.
369
00:14:42,391 --> 00:14:43,858
You look familiar to me.
370
00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:47,328
Hmm, maybe you've seen me
down at the Snakehole Lounge.
371
00:14:47,396 --> 00:14:48,429
I'm a part-owner there.
372
00:14:48,497 --> 00:14:49,647
That's you in the painting.
373
00:14:49,732 --> 00:14:53,151
You're the fat baby!
374
00:14:53,235 --> 00:14:55,670
Aww... that's so cute.
375
00:14:55,738 --> 00:14:57,872
- Oh, you're into that?
- No.
376
00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:00,358
Damn it, Jerry.
377
00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:01,693
Imagine my horror.
378
00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:03,644
I'm hanging upside-down
with my gravity boots
379
00:15:03,696 --> 00:15:04,879
watching Perd.
380
00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:06,381
I see you with your painting.
381
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:09,350
And I am startled
and disappointed.
382
00:15:09,418 --> 00:15:11,319
Well, I did not know
that Brandi was gonna offer me
383
00:15:11,387 --> 00:15:13,021
a role in her next film.
384
00:15:13,088 --> 00:15:14,956
I urge you not to take
that role.
385
00:15:15,024 --> 00:15:16,457
I'm not going
to take the role.
386
00:15:16,525 --> 00:15:18,126
That's good to hear,
because, recently,
387
00:15:18,177 --> 00:15:21,295
you've been
a little unpredictable.
388
00:15:21,347 --> 00:15:22,997
I'm sorry that I'm trying
to defend
389
00:15:23,065 --> 00:15:24,632
a beautiful work of art.
390
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:26,300
- Thank you, Leslie.
- Stand down, Jerry.
391
00:15:26,368 --> 00:15:28,469
- This isn't your fight.
- You've left me no choice.
392
00:15:28,537 --> 00:15:31,439
I've convened a meeting
of the public arts commission,
393
00:15:31,507 --> 00:15:33,474
and we will abide
by their decision.
394
00:15:33,542 --> 00:15:35,410
Fine with me.
395
00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:37,912
Public art commission,
filled with hippies
396
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:40,415
who love public art
and sometimes weed.
397
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,517
Jackpot.
398
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,117
I would just like
to introduce myself.
399
00:15:47,248 --> 00:15:48,415
My name is Chris Traeger,
400
00:15:48,483 --> 00:15:52,469
and I am a big fan of art.
401
00:15:52,554 --> 00:15:58,025
Council, I
am not opposed to pornography.
402
00:15:58,093 --> 00:15:59,693
In fact, you could say
I'm definitely for it.
403
00:15:59,761 --> 00:16:01,629
If I had my laptop with me
right now,
404
00:16:01,696 --> 00:16:03,497
I would show you
a well-hidden folder
405
00:16:03,565 --> 00:16:05,199
with gigabytes of proof.
406
00:16:05,267 --> 00:16:11,021
However, this... thing...
is... disgusting...
407
00:16:11,089 --> 00:16:12,773
And wrong.
408
00:16:12,824 --> 00:16:14,792
Please let the record
reflect that the fat baby
409
00:16:14,876 --> 00:16:16,510
is referring to the painting.
410
00:16:16,578 --> 00:16:20,514
Hey! I am not a fat baby.
I'm a small, slender man--
411
00:16:20,582 --> 00:16:22,917
similar to actor Taye Diggs.
412
00:16:22,984 --> 00:16:26,120
So let the record
reflect that--
413
00:16:26,187 --> 00:16:27,838
that I look like Taye Diggs.
414
00:16:27,923 --> 00:16:30,991
Members
of the Public Art Commission,
415
00:16:31,059 --> 00:16:32,810
good afternoon,
and good art.
416
00:16:37,565 --> 00:16:39,934
Every great society
has always supported
417
00:16:40,001 --> 00:16:41,435
artistic expression.
418
00:16:41,486 --> 00:16:42,937
- The Romans...
- Perverts.
419
00:16:43,004 --> 00:16:44,872
- The Greeks...
- Gay perverts.
420
00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:46,323
To great societies
in Europe.
421
00:16:46,408 --> 00:16:48,108
Europeans.
422
00:16:48,176 --> 00:16:50,611
There are some members
of this Community
423
00:16:50,679 --> 00:16:52,496
that would like to demonize
this painting.
424
00:16:52,580 --> 00:16:53,697
And when they do,
425
00:16:53,782 --> 00:16:57,117
they in fact demonize
art itself.
426
00:16:57,185 --> 00:17:00,788
What is or isn't art is up to
every free-thinking American
427
00:17:00,855 --> 00:17:04,008
to decide on their own.
428
00:17:04,092 --> 00:17:07,628
Uh, yeah, it's in the bag.
429
00:17:07,696 --> 00:17:09,680
We've decided
that the painting
430
00:17:09,764 --> 00:17:11,348
should be destroyed.
431
00:17:11,433 --> 00:17:12,866
- Yeah! Burn it!
- Whoo!
432
00:17:12,934 --> 00:17:15,002
What?
Are you serious?
433
00:17:15,070 --> 00:17:16,804
You're supposed to be in favor
of public art.
434
00:17:16,855 --> 00:17:19,206
Yeah, well,
there are nipples in it,
435
00:17:19,274 --> 00:17:21,942
so it just seems like we ought
to be safe and destroy it.
436
00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:29,516
Okay. Here is a list
of errands
437
00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:32,486
and things
that human adults need.
438
00:17:32,537 --> 00:17:34,154
Also, I'm giving you
an advance
439
00:17:34,205 --> 00:17:35,456
on next month's rent.
440
00:17:35,523 --> 00:17:37,408
And I want you guys
to go to Bed Bath & Beyond
441
00:17:37,492 --> 00:17:38,792
and buy everything
on that list.
442
00:17:38,860 --> 00:17:41,378
Or we could buy a Wii.
443
00:17:41,463 --> 00:17:42,830
You can handle this.
444
00:17:42,897 --> 00:17:44,999
I don't know, man.
445
00:17:45,050 --> 00:17:46,333
Why don't you just do it?
446
00:17:46,401 --> 00:17:49,720
No, I can't.
I--I...Have a date.
447
00:17:49,804 --> 00:17:51,889
Ooh, what's his name?
448
00:17:51,973 --> 00:17:52,973
It's actually not--
449
00:17:53,041 --> 00:17:55,392
uh, Chris set it up.
Never mind.
450
00:17:55,477 --> 00:17:57,761
The point is, stick to the
list, and you'll do great.
451
00:17:57,846 --> 00:18:01,048
I have total faith in you.
452
00:18:01,116 --> 00:18:04,184
There's, like, a 30% chance
they'll both die.
453
00:18:04,252 --> 00:18:06,020
So how do you want
to do this?
454
00:18:06,087 --> 00:18:07,821
Burn it publicly
or burn it privately,
455
00:18:07,889 --> 00:18:09,289
and I put the footage
on my blog or...?
456
00:18:09,357 --> 00:18:10,491
You've made
your point, okay?
457
00:18:10,558 --> 00:18:12,926
Look, this painting
is very important to me.
458
00:18:12,994 --> 00:18:14,862
It doesn't need to hang
in a government building.
459
00:18:14,929 --> 00:18:17,915
Just let me take it home,
and I'll keep it there.
460
00:18:17,999 --> 00:18:19,967
What do you say?
461
00:18:20,035 --> 00:18:22,703
I say this painting
is going to burn--
462
00:18:22,754 --> 00:18:26,407
first here, then in hell.
463
00:18:26,474 --> 00:18:27,624
Do I need
to get this validated?
464
00:18:27,709 --> 00:18:29,309
- I don't--I don't know.
- No?
465
00:18:29,377 --> 00:18:30,444
Okay, then, great.
466
00:18:30,512 --> 00:18:32,046
I'm just gonna
pull my car around,
467
00:18:32,113 --> 00:18:34,214
and you can load it
in the back.
468
00:18:34,265 --> 00:18:36,450
No.
469
00:18:36,518 --> 00:18:40,921
- Hey! Come back here!
- Make me, stag! I am Dyaphena!
470
00:18:40,972 --> 00:18:43,457
This place is amazing.
471
00:18:43,525 --> 00:18:45,609
Oh, my God, they have a
thing that makes sherbet.
472
00:18:45,693 --> 00:18:46,894
We need five of those!
473
00:18:46,961 --> 00:18:48,829
No, we need to stick
with what's on the list.
474
00:18:48,897 --> 00:18:50,981
First things first,
oven mitts.
475
00:18:51,066 --> 00:18:52,566
Where are the oven mitts?
476
00:18:52,617 --> 00:18:56,153
Oh, my God. They have
all the As-Seen-On-TV stuff!
477
00:18:56,237 --> 00:18:58,939
- Nuh-uh.
- Shake weight, Iron Gym...
478
00:18:58,990 --> 00:19:00,507
Miracle Hand Repair,
Big Top cookie,
479
00:19:00,575 --> 00:19:02,126
- Pillow Pet, Slap Chop.
- Honey.
480
00:19:02,210 --> 00:19:06,163
- Oh, my God.
- Honey, honey, listen to me.
481
00:19:06,247 --> 00:19:07,881
Get it all.
482
00:19:07,949 --> 00:19:09,800
Grab everything
that we've seen it on TV
483
00:19:09,884 --> 00:19:11,552
and put it in this cart
right now.
484
00:19:11,619 --> 00:19:14,488
Iron gym--
I am gonna get so buff.
485
00:19:14,556 --> 00:19:15,756
Oh, my God.
Marshmallow shooter.
486
00:19:15,807 --> 00:19:16,890
Marshmallow shooter!
Get two.
487
00:19:16,958 --> 00:19:18,158
Wait, what
about the Magic Bullet?
488
00:19:18,226 --> 00:19:20,327
Yeah. I've seen that.
489
00:19:23,815 --> 00:19:25,699
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
490
00:19:25,767 --> 00:19:27,634
I was at a meeting
around the corner,
491
00:19:27,685 --> 00:19:30,487
and some people wanted
to destroy this painting,
492
00:19:30,572 --> 00:19:32,206
so I brought it here.
493
00:19:32,273 --> 00:19:33,874
Where's Andy and April?
494
00:19:33,942 --> 00:19:36,376
They're out shopping.
495
00:19:36,444 --> 00:19:41,048
- What are you doing here?
- I moved into the spare room.
496
00:19:41,116 --> 00:19:42,449
Really?
497
00:19:42,517 --> 00:19:44,218
- Yeah.
- Huh.
498
00:19:44,285 --> 00:19:48,372
Can I come in?
Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Of course.
499
00:19:48,456 --> 00:19:50,090
Why do they want
to destroy it?
500
00:19:50,158 --> 00:19:53,794
Well, it's a painting of me
as a centaur.
501
00:19:53,845 --> 00:19:55,596
- Okay.
- And it's a nude.
502
00:19:55,663 --> 00:19:57,297
Oh.
503
00:19:57,365 --> 00:19:59,433
Just basically, like,
the "chestal" region.
504
00:19:59,501 --> 00:20:01,301
- Uh-huh.
- Mostly.
505
00:20:01,369 --> 00:20:02,936
You don't have to look at it
if you don't want to.
506
00:20:03,004 --> 00:20:04,338
- No, no, no.
- It's very classy.
507
00:20:04,405 --> 00:20:06,190
Yeah, no, I'm sure it is.
508
00:20:06,274 --> 00:20:08,559
Oh, man. It's Chris.
Got to take this.
509
00:20:08,643 --> 00:20:09,977
- Okay.
- Hi, Chris.
510
00:20:10,044 --> 00:20:12,379
Leslie Knope, you need
to bring that painting back.
511
00:20:12,447 --> 00:20:13,447
What painting?
512
00:20:13,514 --> 00:20:14,781
Leslie,
you have the painting,
513
00:20:14,849 --> 00:20:16,116
and you need to bring it
back in.
514
00:20:16,184 --> 00:20:17,517
I think I've been
pretty fair with you.
515
00:20:17,569 --> 00:20:18,919
And I'm starting
to feel angry.
516
00:20:18,987 --> 00:20:20,320
And I don't like
feeling angry.
517
00:20:20,388 --> 00:20:21,521
My heart is racing.
518
00:20:21,573 --> 00:20:23,390
It's going
literally 45 beats a minute.
519
00:20:23,458 --> 00:20:24,691
I'm sorry.
520
00:20:24,759 --> 00:20:26,326
If I could just explain
to you my point of view--
521
00:20:26,394 --> 00:20:28,061
You will bring that painting
in tomorrow morning
522
00:20:28,129 --> 00:20:29,463
and surrender it
to Marcia Langman.
523
00:20:29,530 --> 00:20:32,466
And that's that.
Do you understand me, madam?
524
00:20:32,534 --> 00:20:35,102
Yes.
525
00:20:38,534 --> 00:20:40,602
- Hehe
- Manipedi--
526
00:20:45,265 --> 00:20:46,532
What are we doing?
527
00:20:46,583 --> 00:20:48,400
We didn't get a single thing
that Ben told us to.
528
00:20:48,468 --> 00:20:50,669
Sure we did.
We got the Marshmallow shooter.
529
00:20:50,737 --> 00:20:53,339
That's-- I don't think
that's on the list.
530
00:20:53,406 --> 00:20:56,291
- But I want it.
- I want it too.
531
00:20:56,376 --> 00:20:58,911
But I also kind of want
my own fork...
532
00:20:58,978 --> 00:21:00,078
Just 'cause you eat
really slow,
533
00:21:00,130 --> 00:21:04,750
which is cute,
but also super annoying.
534
00:21:04,801 --> 00:21:07,236
- Fine.
- What? What's wrong?
535
00:21:07,303 --> 00:21:11,090
Nothing. It's just adults
are boring, and I hate them.
536
00:21:11,157 --> 00:21:12,825
And I don't want to buy
all this stupid, boring,
537
00:21:12,892 --> 00:21:14,593
adult stuff
and become boring adults.
538
00:21:14,644 --> 00:21:16,111
Hey, listen to me.
539
00:21:16,196 --> 00:21:17,929
Yes, we're gonna get
a dish rack,
540
00:21:17,981 --> 00:21:20,566
and shower curtains,
and a cutting board.
541
00:21:20,617 --> 00:21:21,967
But if you think
for one second
542
00:21:22,035 --> 00:21:24,336
I'm not also gonna get
that marshmallow shooter
543
00:21:24,404 --> 00:21:26,472
so that I can shoot you
in the face with marshmallows
544
00:21:26,539 --> 00:21:27,639
when you're asleep,
545
00:21:27,707 --> 00:21:33,412
then you're
the dumbest woman I know.
546
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:34,747
You're gonna make me cry.
547
00:21:36,249 --> 00:21:39,051
You're a levelheaded person.
What do I do here?
548
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:40,619
Well, I don't know.
549
00:21:40,687 --> 00:21:42,454
I mean, it is one of the
basic rules of government
550
00:21:42,522 --> 00:21:44,289
that you shouldn't offend
people.
551
00:21:44,357 --> 00:21:46,492
Yeah.
I guess you're right.
552
00:21:46,559 --> 00:21:51,797
I just-- I'm so annoyed
by all these rules lately.
553
00:21:51,865 --> 00:21:54,099
- Me too.
- Ha ha.
554
00:21:54,150 --> 00:21:56,151
Hey, Leslie.
What are you doing here?
555
00:21:56,236 --> 00:22:00,105
Hey. Um, well,
I, um, I stole a painting.
556
00:22:00,156 --> 00:22:02,307
And, um, I was hoping you guys
would help me hide it.
557
00:22:02,375 --> 00:22:04,576
I like it.
It's very simple.
558
00:22:04,644 --> 00:22:07,446
No, it's on the other side.
559
00:22:07,514 --> 00:22:11,049
Oh, my God.
Is that you as a naked horse?
560
00:22:11,117 --> 00:22:12,951
Does it look like me?
I don't even--
561
00:22:13,019 --> 00:22:16,088
Leslie, I mean, not to be
inappropriate or anything,
562
00:22:16,156 --> 00:22:17,589
'cause you're my boss
and my friend,
563
00:22:17,657 --> 00:22:19,992
but I would totally hit that.
564
00:22:20,059 --> 00:22:21,894
- So would I.
- You guys are sweet.
565
00:22:21,961 --> 00:22:24,830
Okay. I should go
and hit the road with this.
566
00:22:24,881 --> 00:22:26,765
And, um...
Okay.
567
00:22:26,833 --> 00:22:28,534
- I'll see you later.
- Bye.
568
00:22:28,601 --> 00:22:29,835
Bye, Leslie.
569
00:22:29,886 --> 00:22:31,637
So how'd we do?
570
00:22:31,704 --> 00:22:34,306
I don't know.
Does this answer your question?
571
00:22:41,681 --> 00:22:44,550
No.
Did you buy plates?
572
00:22:44,617 --> 00:22:45,734
Oh, plates.
573
00:22:48,455 --> 00:22:50,856
Leslie, what are you doing?
574
00:22:50,907 --> 00:22:52,157
Say good-bye to Dyaphena.
575
00:22:52,208 --> 00:22:55,026
I have to turn her over
to stupid Marcia Langman.
576
00:22:55,078 --> 00:22:59,197
- Really? Oh.
- What?
577
00:22:59,249 --> 00:23:00,382
I mean, to be honest,
578
00:23:00,467 --> 00:23:01,834
that seems like the kind
of thing I would do.
579
00:23:01,885 --> 00:23:05,170
And I didn't think
you would give in.
580
00:23:05,221 --> 00:23:06,505
Come with me.
581
00:23:09,392 --> 00:23:11,376
- Hey, man.
- Roomie!
582
00:23:11,427 --> 00:23:14,079
Dude, it's super fun
to eat cereal
583
00:23:14,147 --> 00:23:16,081
from a bowl with a spoon.
584
00:23:16,149 --> 00:23:17,716
- Thank you for that.
- No problem.
585
00:23:17,767 --> 00:23:18,984
Though, you know,
you're not supposed to
586
00:23:19,051 --> 00:23:20,619
bring your dishes
into work, right?
587
00:23:20,687 --> 00:23:22,521
Ha ha.
Good one.
588
00:23:22,572 --> 00:23:23,772
I'm serious.
589
00:23:23,857 --> 00:23:26,091
What's going on
between you and Leslie?
590
00:23:26,159 --> 00:23:27,593
I noticed a weird vibe
when we came in the room.
591
00:23:27,660 --> 00:23:29,561
Nothing.
I mean, we're friends--
592
00:23:29,629 --> 00:23:34,366
just regular friendship...
develop-- development.
593
00:23:34,434 --> 00:23:36,234
Come on, roomie,
you can tell me.
594
00:23:36,286 --> 00:23:37,436
I know there's something.
595
00:23:37,504 --> 00:23:41,072
I bet you I can guess
what it is.
596
00:23:41,124 --> 00:23:42,741
She stole money from you.
597
00:23:42,792 --> 00:23:46,077
What?
No, no, Andy,
598
00:23:46,129 --> 00:23:48,547
she did not.
599
00:23:48,615 --> 00:23:50,315
I think we like each other.
600
00:23:50,383 --> 00:23:53,886
But Chris has
this very strict rule--
601
00:23:53,937 --> 00:23:55,304
co-workers can't date.
602
00:23:55,388 --> 00:23:57,923
So, you know,
it's not even an option.
603
00:23:57,974 --> 00:24:00,325
- Wow.
- Yeah.
604
00:24:00,393 --> 00:24:02,628
Well, first of all, Leslie--
she's, like, the coolest ever.
605
00:24:02,695 --> 00:24:04,096
You've chosen well.
606
00:24:04,163 --> 00:24:05,614
And secondly, hey, man,
if it's gonna happen...
607
00:24:05,698 --> 00:24:07,616
It's gonna happen.
608
00:24:07,700 --> 00:24:09,267
Look at me and April.
609
00:24:09,319 --> 00:24:11,803
If you're anything like us,
610
00:24:11,871 --> 00:24:15,707
three weeks from now,
you'll be married, my friend.
611
00:24:17,377 --> 00:24:19,678
I'm glad you finally came
to your senses.
612
00:24:19,746 --> 00:24:23,015
I know that's not an easy
journey for you to make.
613
00:24:23,082 --> 00:24:27,286
Let's take a look at
it first, shall we?
614
00:24:27,353 --> 00:24:29,254
Whoa! It looks amazing!
615
00:24:29,305 --> 00:24:31,974
I had the artist paint
over the Original.
616
00:24:32,058 --> 00:24:34,459
- Feel free to destroy it.
- No!
617
00:24:34,527 --> 00:24:35,561
But I think you'll find
618
00:24:35,628 --> 00:24:37,663
no one could possibly
be offended,
619
00:24:37,730 --> 00:24:39,765
unless, of course,
they have a problem
620
00:24:39,816 --> 00:24:41,567
with centaurs having
modern haircuts.
621
00:24:44,270 --> 00:24:45,771
There were many kinds
of Greek goddesses.
622
00:24:45,838 --> 00:24:49,074
Some were lovers.
Some were warriors.
623
00:24:49,142 --> 00:24:52,344
And some were tricksters.
624
00:24:54,213 --> 00:24:57,015
I am so glad
that this got resolved,
625
00:24:57,083 --> 00:24:59,451
because I hate being angry.
626
00:24:59,519 --> 00:25:00,886
- Hmm.
- Ben!
627
00:25:00,954 --> 00:25:01,987
- Come in here.
- Okay.
628
00:25:02,038 --> 00:25:04,172
How did your date
with Cindy go?
629
00:25:04,257 --> 00:25:06,658
Uh, you know,
she wasn't really my type.
630
00:25:06,726 --> 00:25:09,177
She's a tall brunette.
You always like tall brunettes.
631
00:25:09,262 --> 00:25:11,363
Well, not exclusively.
632
00:25:11,431 --> 00:25:12,731
Historically, yes,
exclusively.
633
00:25:12,799 --> 00:25:14,383
He said he didn't like her,
so it's over.
634
00:25:14,467 --> 00:25:17,185
Okay, well,
I'm gonna keep trying,
635
00:25:17,270 --> 00:25:20,222
- because you are incredible.
- Thank you.
636
00:25:20,306 --> 00:25:22,474
And you deserve
someone amazing
637
00:25:22,525 --> 00:25:26,011
and smart and beautiful.
638
00:25:26,062 --> 00:25:29,031
- Thank you.
- A real goddess.
639
00:25:29,115 --> 00:25:31,883
- Exactly.
- Mm.
640
00:25:31,951 --> 00:25:35,320
Hey! ...what about Shelly,
from the health-food store?
641
00:25:35,388 --> 00:25:36,455
I don't know who that is.
642
00:25:36,522 --> 00:25:37,522
Her brother died
climbing Everest?
643
00:25:37,573 --> 00:25:38,523
Great.
644
00:25:38,574 --> 00:25:39,524
- Interesting, right?
- No.
645
00:25:39,575 --> 00:25:41,526
Nice job, Jerry.
646
00:25:41,577 --> 00:25:43,211
You look
like Enrique Iglesias.
647
00:25:43,296 --> 00:25:45,664
- Just wish I had more time.
- Why?
648
00:25:45,715 --> 00:25:47,165
This is amazing.
649
00:25:47,233 --> 00:25:50,218
It looks like me,
and I look awesome.
650
00:25:50,303 --> 00:25:52,037
Is your penis
between the front arms
651
00:25:52,105 --> 00:25:53,839
or the back legs?
652
00:25:53,906 --> 00:25:57,009
- Yeah, where's your penis?
- Damn it, Jerry!
653
00:25:57,639 --> 00:26:01,474
Gail... I know Jerry
is your husband.
654
00:26:01,542 --> 00:26:04,260
Look, I can promise you
there's absolutely nothing
655
00:26:04,345 --> 00:26:05,678
going on between us.
656
00:26:05,746 --> 00:26:09,182
No, no, I did not pose
for that painting.
657
00:26:09,233 --> 00:26:10,483
But thank you
for thinking I did.
658
00:26:10,551 --> 00:26:13,603
Okay, well... sure.
Hold on.
659
00:26:13,687 --> 00:26:16,790
Gail, sweetheart, you have
nothing to worry about.
660
00:26:16,857 --> 00:26:18,091
Okay?
661
00:26:18,159 --> 00:26:20,827
I'm not gay,
neither is Jerry,
662
00:26:20,894 --> 00:26:21,995
and I didn't pose for him.
663
00:26:22,062 --> 00:26:25,729
I promise you, hon,
Jerry only has eyes for you.
664
00:26:25,730 --> 00:26:26,761
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
665
00:26:26,762 --> 00:26:28,229
And poundcake... am I right?
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
666
00:26:28,230 --> 00:26:34,229
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com