1 00:00:00,982 --> 00:00:02,281 Oh hey, Ben. 2 00:00:02,282 --> 00:00:04,881 Have you seen my complete collection of all 3 00:00:04,882 --> 00:00:06,433 193 national flags? 4 00:00:06,782 --> 00:00:08,433 Ooh! Here they are. 5 00:00:09,182 --> 00:00:10,181 Wow! 6 00:00:10,282 --> 00:00:13,181 So, I've been asked to run this year's Model UN 7 00:00:13,282 --> 00:00:14,781 at Pawnee Central High School. 8 00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:16,081 Attendance has been low. 9 00:00:16,482 --> 00:00:18,881 And if I don't make it awesome, they may cancel it. 10 00:00:20,082 --> 00:00:22,381 I wonder if I'm gonna make it awesome. 11 00:00:23,182 --> 00:00:25,581 ...Or I can be South Korea, you can be Bangladesh. 12 00:00:25,582 --> 00:00:28,033 You can form like a Trans-Asiatic alliance. 13 00:00:28,084 --> 00:00:29,918 Yeah, I like it. And I see the merits of it. 14 00:00:29,953 --> 00:00:31,786 I just worry if we're both in Asia, 15 00:00:31,820 --> 00:00:33,755 - it might limit our scope. - Mm. 16 00:00:33,790 --> 00:00:35,257 I kinda want to roll up my sleeves 17 00:00:35,291 --> 00:00:37,793 and make geopolitical problem-solving my bitch. 18 00:00:38,327 --> 00:00:39,327 Amen, brother. 19 00:00:39,345 --> 00:00:41,930 Let's go back to plan "A." I'll be Denmark, you be Peru. 20 00:00:42,164 --> 00:00:42,848 Yes! 21 00:00:42,882 --> 00:00:44,166 Oh, I didn't really do 22 00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:47,569 Model United Nations in high school, so... 23 00:00:47,603 --> 00:00:49,971 Oh, wait. I super-did. 24 00:00:50,005 --> 00:00:51,356 I need a few more volunteers. 25 00:00:51,391 --> 00:00:52,608 Andy, will you be Iceland? 26 00:00:52,642 --> 00:00:53,976 The bad guys from Mighty Ducks 2? 27 00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:55,744 - Don't think so. - Okay, how about Japan? 28 00:00:55,778 --> 00:00:57,779 The bad guys from Karate Kid 2? 29 00:00:58,314 --> 00:01:00,865 Even worse. How 'bout Germany? 30 00:01:00,900 --> 00:01:02,450 They've never been the bad guys. 31 00:01:02,485 --> 00:01:03,868 Why don't you be Finland? 32 00:01:03,903 --> 00:01:05,036 - Okay. - Okay? 33 00:01:05,071 --> 00:01:06,288 And I'll be the Moon. 34 00:01:06,322 --> 00:01:08,540 No, you're gonna be South Africa or... 35 00:01:08,575 --> 00:01:10,709 - Pakistan. - I'm the Moon, or I quit. 36 00:01:10,743 --> 00:01:12,694 - April. - Moon or quit, man. 37 00:01:12,729 --> 00:01:14,162 Fine. You be South Africa, 38 00:01:14,197 --> 00:01:15,747 and you can also secretly run the moon. 39 00:01:15,782 --> 00:01:17,999 The Moon accepts your ridiculous proposal. 40 00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,251 Ron! You wanna join us? 41 00:01:19,285 --> 00:01:20,869 Look! I'll let you be America. 42 00:01:28,177 --> 00:01:30,629 I'd rather sand down my toenails. 43 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,548 Every three weeks, I have to sand down my toenails. 44 00:01:34,283 --> 00:01:36,051 They're too strong for clippers. 45 00:01:39,088 --> 00:01:44,312 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 46 00:01:57,639 --> 00:01:58,373 Excuse me. 47 00:01:58,408 --> 00:02:00,575 Are you Leslie Knope? Oh, what am I talking about? 48 00:02:00,609 --> 00:02:03,812 - Of course you are. - Bonjour, Madame Ambassadeur. 49 00:02:04,146 --> 00:02:05,630 Thank you so much for coming 50 00:02:05,665 --> 00:02:07,849 and trying to help save our club. 51 00:02:07,884 --> 00:02:09,167 We're so excited to see 52 00:02:09,218 --> 00:02:11,303 a true Pawnee Model U.N. legend in action. 53 00:02:11,337 --> 00:02:12,587 - Thank you. - I really wouldn't describe myself 54 00:02:12,622 --> 00:02:14,756 as a Model U.N. legend. 55 00:02:14,791 --> 00:02:17,509 I'd go with icon. Or hero. 56 00:02:18,060 --> 00:02:20,662 Look, if you ask me, Enron is down but not out. 57 00:02:20,696 --> 00:02:22,831 Who doesn't like a comeback story? 58 00:02:22,865 --> 00:02:25,534 All right, you wanna hear my plan, get at me later. 59 00:02:25,568 --> 00:02:27,068 I gotta meet up with an old friend. 60 00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:28,353 All right, peace, man. 61 00:02:28,904 --> 00:02:30,205 Let's go do this lunch thing. 62 00:02:30,239 --> 00:02:32,107 I just have one more quick interview. 63 00:02:32,141 --> 00:02:34,709 I'm still trying to find your replacement. 64 00:02:34,744 --> 00:02:37,779 That is, unless you want your old job back. 65 00:02:37,814 --> 00:02:39,948 I told you before, Ronseph, I moved on to bigger things. 66 00:02:39,982 --> 00:02:43,001 E720 going under was a blessing. 67 00:02:43,035 --> 00:02:45,120 I'm tearing it up all over town like a boss. 68 00:02:45,154 --> 00:02:47,088 Sounds great, Tommy. 69 00:02:47,123 --> 00:02:49,875 I've offered Tom his job back several times, 70 00:02:49,926 --> 00:02:51,927 and each time he's told me he's just too busy 71 00:02:51,961 --> 00:02:53,712 being an entrepreneur. 72 00:02:53,763 --> 00:02:55,063 Then two days ago, 73 00:02:55,097 --> 00:02:58,099 I saw him spraying cologne samples at Macy's. 74 00:02:58,134 --> 00:03:00,769 The young man has a lot of pride. 75 00:03:00,803 --> 00:03:02,871 This isn't gonna be easy. 76 00:03:03,905 --> 00:03:04,772 Ann Perkins. 77 00:03:04,807 --> 00:03:06,141 - Hey, Chris, how's it going? - Not good. 78 00:03:06,175 --> 00:03:07,576 - Can I talk to you? - Okay. 79 00:03:08,110 --> 00:03:09,344 I'm not sure if you're aware, 80 00:03:09,378 --> 00:03:10,712 but I am romantically involved 81 00:03:10,946 --> 00:03:13,347 with Jerry Gergich's surprisingly hot daughter 82 00:03:13,381 --> 00:03:14,515 - Millicent Gergich. - Yeah. 83 00:03:14,550 --> 00:03:15,883 You were grinding with her pretty hard 84 00:03:15,918 --> 00:03:17,351 at April's Halloween party. 85 00:03:17,385 --> 00:03:19,854 That's correct. Anyway, we've been on four dates, 86 00:03:19,888 --> 00:03:20,839 but now Millicent Gergich 87 00:03:20,890 --> 00:03:22,990 hasn't returned my last two phone calls. 88 00:03:23,025 --> 00:03:25,076 I think the relationship may be in trouble, 89 00:03:25,110 --> 00:03:26,327 and I don't know why. 90 00:03:26,362 --> 00:03:28,129 Wow. A four-date-long relationship 91 00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:30,164 might not be 100% perfect? 92 00:03:30,199 --> 00:03:33,000 I think you should launch a full-scale investigation. 93 00:03:33,035 --> 00:03:35,637 The root of sarcasm is truth, Ann. 94 00:03:35,671 --> 00:03:37,923 I am going to launch a full-scale investigation. 95 00:03:38,457 --> 00:03:40,975 And I sincerely thank you for that suggestion. 96 00:03:41,010 --> 00:03:43,878 Glad I could help in these trying times. 97 00:03:43,912 --> 00:03:45,714 Sarcasm again! 98 00:03:45,748 --> 00:03:48,683 You're a delight. 99 00:03:48,718 --> 00:03:50,952 You've all been preparing for months 100 00:03:50,986 --> 00:03:52,804 for this year's geopolitical scenario... 101 00:03:52,855 --> 00:03:54,789 global food crisis. 102 00:03:54,824 --> 00:03:58,359 Security Council, we need you to lead us, 103 00:03:58,394 --> 00:04:00,895 or billions of people will starve to death. 104 00:04:00,930 --> 00:04:04,032 But most importantly, have fun. 105 00:04:04,066 --> 00:04:05,633 Due to my campaign, 106 00:04:05,668 --> 00:04:08,269 the romantic aspect of our relationship is over. 107 00:04:08,304 --> 00:04:09,738 And I'm totally fine with that. 108 00:04:09,772 --> 00:04:11,673 But Ben and I have so much in common. 109 00:04:11,707 --> 00:04:13,158 I mean, we're amazing friends. 110 00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:14,542 And friendship is better 111 00:04:14,577 --> 00:04:16,377 because friends help you move. 112 00:04:16,412 --> 00:04:18,797 They drive you to the airport. 113 00:04:18,831 --> 00:04:22,584 Boyfriends just... love you and marry you. 114 00:04:24,670 --> 00:04:26,888 Jerry! I am launching a full-scale investigation 115 00:04:26,922 --> 00:04:28,556 into my romantic relationship with your daughter 116 00:04:28,591 --> 00:04:29,891 Millicent Gergich, 117 00:04:29,925 --> 00:04:31,676 and I thought I could pick your brain. 118 00:04:31,727 --> 00:04:33,228 Aw, jeez, I really shouldn't be involved in someth... 119 00:04:33,262 --> 00:04:35,563 Quick recap... things were going wonderfully. 120 00:04:35,598 --> 00:04:37,432 We clicked on an emotional level. 121 00:04:37,466 --> 00:04:39,768 And then suddenly, I just stopped hearing from her. 122 00:04:39,802 --> 00:04:42,654 Now, you must know her pretty well... what gives? 123 00:04:42,688 --> 00:04:43,872 Here's what I saw go down. 124 00:04:43,906 --> 00:04:45,356 Donna! Yeah! Get in on this. 125 00:04:45,407 --> 00:04:46,691 You're too accessible. 126 00:04:46,742 --> 00:04:48,610 Every time she calls, you answer. 127 00:04:48,644 --> 00:04:50,545 You gotta dangle the carrot, 128 00:04:50,579 --> 00:04:52,046 literally and metaphorically. 129 00:04:52,081 --> 00:04:53,665 - Thank you, Donna! - Thanks, Donna. 130 00:04:53,699 --> 00:04:56,284 So...Courtney. 131 00:04:56,318 --> 00:04:58,586 This says you retired in 1968. 132 00:04:58,621 --> 00:04:59,954 No, no, no. 133 00:04:59,989 --> 00:05:03,925 I was fired because I made a pass at an ethnic woman. 134 00:05:03,959 --> 00:05:07,228 And what have you been doing for the last 43 years? 135 00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:09,197 Oh, you know, hitchhiking around. 136 00:05:09,231 --> 00:05:12,267 I went to Mexico. I met a lot of ethnic girls. 137 00:05:12,301 --> 00:05:14,435 They grow on trees down there. 138 00:05:14,470 --> 00:05:16,137 I was in jail for a spell... 139 00:05:16,171 --> 00:05:18,807 That about brings it up to date. 140 00:05:18,841 --> 00:05:20,174 Sounds to me like you're ready 141 00:05:20,192 --> 00:05:21,943 to get back in the game, Courtney. 142 00:05:21,977 --> 00:05:24,012 We'll be in touch. 143 00:05:25,514 --> 00:05:27,398 Another very strong candidate. 144 00:05:27,449 --> 00:05:28,817 Are you insane? 145 00:05:28,851 --> 00:05:30,318 He was a million-year-old racist! 146 00:05:30,352 --> 00:05:33,054 He said he liked ethnic girls, Tom. 147 00:05:33,088 --> 00:05:34,756 I'm sorry, Ron, but I created a legacy here, 148 00:05:34,790 --> 00:05:36,157 and I need to make sure it's protected. 149 00:05:36,691 --> 00:05:37,792 Let's bring in some more people. 150 00:05:38,227 --> 00:05:39,127 In my four years here, 151 00:05:39,161 --> 00:05:41,563 I revolutionized the position of administrator 152 00:05:41,597 --> 00:05:42,997 and made this place cool. 153 00:05:43,032 --> 00:05:44,465 I was the first person 154 00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:45,934 to abbreviate Parks and Recreation Department. 155 00:05:45,968 --> 00:05:47,402 First it was Parks and Recreation. 156 00:05:47,436 --> 00:05:48,636 Then Parks and Rec. 157 00:05:48,671 --> 00:05:50,071 Then P&R. 158 00:05:50,105 --> 00:05:52,673 Then lengthened it just a little bit to... 159 00:05:52,707 --> 00:05:54,075 Tommy's place. 160 00:05:54,609 --> 00:05:56,177 Okay, wait a minute. I think I have it. 161 00:05:56,211 --> 00:05:57,645 What if we dropped interest rates. 162 00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:58,947 - Would that help you? - Maybe. 163 00:05:58,981 --> 00:06:00,648 But what if Brazil and Argentina 164 00:06:00,683 --> 00:06:02,767 use their oil deposits as collateral? 165 00:06:02,818 --> 00:06:04,452 Oh, that's really good. 166 00:06:04,486 --> 00:06:05,954 Under-exaggerate much, France? 167 00:06:05,988 --> 00:06:07,121 Ha ha! 168 00:06:07,156 --> 00:06:08,773 Nice! 169 00:06:10,992 --> 00:06:11,492 Hey, Leslie, you ready? 170 00:06:11,527 --> 00:06:13,027 - Oh! - Ow. - Sorry. - That's okay. 171 00:06:13,061 --> 00:06:14,279 - Hi, William. - Hi. You ready? 172 00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:17,782 Yes. Absolutely. Um...They want me to do a photo op 173 00:06:17,833 --> 00:06:19,000 for the campaign 174 00:06:19,035 --> 00:06:20,869 so I can bolster my education credentials. 175 00:06:20,903 --> 00:06:23,538 - Can we just press pause here? - How long is it gonna take? 176 00:06:23,572 --> 00:06:24,206 I'm not really sure. 177 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,258 Can you just tread water until I'm ready? 178 00:06:26,292 --> 00:06:27,576 Oh, sure, yeah. 179 00:06:27,610 --> 00:06:28,927 I'll just tread water until you're ready. 180 00:06:28,961 --> 00:06:30,045 Thanks, buddy. 181 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,213 Leslie and I aren't dating anymore, 182 00:06:32,248 --> 00:06:33,681 but, uh, we're friends. 183 00:06:33,716 --> 00:06:35,683 So it's fun. It's just fun. 184 00:06:35,718 --> 00:06:39,387 It's fun... it's... fun... 185 00:06:39,421 --> 00:06:41,289 It is fun. 186 00:06:41,323 --> 00:06:43,191 Thanks a lot. 187 00:06:43,225 --> 00:06:44,559 Yes! 188 00:06:44,593 --> 00:06:48,363 Honey! I just traded Finland's military to Kenya 189 00:06:48,397 --> 00:06:50,698 for 50 lions. 190 00:06:51,233 --> 00:06:52,567 That's pretty good, right? 191 00:06:52,601 --> 00:06:54,319 - Yeah... - Okay. 192 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:56,704 But also militaries are pretty good 193 00:06:56,739 --> 00:06:58,373 at protecting countries. 194 00:06:58,407 --> 00:06:59,941 But so are lions. 195 00:06:59,975 --> 00:07:01,659 And you don't have to pay them. 196 00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:02,977 These kids are idiots. 197 00:07:03,012 --> 00:07:04,712 I've just traded all of Finland's boring stuff 198 00:07:04,747 --> 00:07:06,581 for every other country's lions? 199 00:07:06,615 --> 00:07:08,816 I definitely have more lions 200 00:07:08,851 --> 00:07:10,952 than any other country in the whole world right now. 201 00:07:10,986 --> 00:07:12,387 I have no idea what's going on. 202 00:07:12,421 --> 00:07:14,389 But if that ends up meaning something in this game, 203 00:07:14,823 --> 00:07:16,824 I'd say I'm set. 204 00:07:19,345 --> 00:07:20,728 Hey, so Russia and China 205 00:07:20,763 --> 00:07:22,180 are about to propose their own plan, 206 00:07:22,231 --> 00:07:23,932 so the kids kinda want to get ours out there. 207 00:07:23,966 --> 00:07:26,734 Oh, okay... this should probably only take five more minutes. 208 00:07:26,769 --> 00:07:28,353 Let's say 10 or 15 to be safe. 209 00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:30,154 Well, how about me make it a cool 40? 210 00:07:30,189 --> 00:07:31,856 I'm sorry. It's just important. 211 00:07:31,907 --> 00:07:34,275 Well, this is important too. It's kinda why we came here. 212 00:07:34,309 --> 00:07:36,327 I'm sorry, could you... Just step over here? 213 00:07:36,362 --> 00:07:38,830 - You're in the shot. - Oh, of course. 214 00:07:39,364 --> 00:07:40,698 Her life is so awesome. 215 00:07:41,449 --> 00:07:42,350 You're lucky you're friends with her. 216 00:07:42,385 --> 00:07:44,919 Shut up, Bulgaria! 217 00:07:47,783 --> 00:07:49,882 I know, well, that's the great thing about treaties, 218 00:07:49,883 --> 00:07:51,600 - It doesn't even matter. - Hey! I'm back. 219 00:07:52,134 --> 00:07:53,485 Or, as they say in Denmark... "I'm back." 220 00:07:53,519 --> 00:07:54,752 Most people speak English. 221 00:07:54,770 --> 00:07:56,721 So are you guys ready to polish off this treaty? 222 00:07:56,755 --> 00:08:00,174 Oh, uh... actually, I merged our treaty 223 00:08:00,209 --> 00:08:02,644 with Russia and China's treaty. 224 00:08:03,195 --> 00:08:04,696 I got cut out of my own treaty? 225 00:08:04,730 --> 00:08:06,781 Yeah. I got sick of treading water, 226 00:08:06,815 --> 00:08:10,068 so I swam over to Asia, made a deal. 227 00:08:11,102 --> 00:08:13,704 The nation of Denmark would like to formerly request 228 00:08:13,739 --> 00:08:15,240 a summit with the nation of Peru 229 00:08:15,274 --> 00:08:17,241 over there by the refreshment table. 230 00:08:17,275 --> 00:08:20,045 Because the nation of Denmark needs a juice box. 231 00:08:20,779 --> 00:08:22,747 I am shocked an appalled by the actions 232 00:08:22,781 --> 00:08:24,849 of the honorable delegate from Peru. 233 00:08:24,883 --> 00:08:26,851 Leslie, just... 234 00:08:26,885 --> 00:08:28,819 look... 235 00:08:28,854 --> 00:08:30,671 I thought I could handle being friends with you. 236 00:08:30,722 --> 00:08:33,090 But I can't, okay? 237 00:08:33,125 --> 00:08:34,358 Now, we agreed the other night 238 00:08:34,393 --> 00:08:37,528 that we can't spend time together. 239 00:08:37,563 --> 00:08:39,397 I think that was the right call. 240 00:08:39,431 --> 00:08:40,681 But that was in a romantic way. 241 00:08:40,732 --> 00:08:43,000 We can still spend time together as friends. 242 00:08:43,035 --> 00:08:44,435 It doesn't work that way. 243 00:08:44,469 --> 00:08:46,571 You can't just chop up the aspects of a relationship 244 00:08:46,605 --> 00:08:47,855 into discrete parts 245 00:08:47,906 --> 00:08:50,358 and select the ones you want like a buffet. 246 00:08:50,409 --> 00:08:53,611 - Why not? - Because it's selfish. 247 00:08:53,645 --> 00:08:56,180 Stop being obtuse. 248 00:08:56,214 --> 00:08:58,215 Look, I understand where he's coming from. 249 00:08:58,250 --> 00:09:00,251 But I have been nothing but straightforward with him, 250 00:09:00,285 --> 00:09:02,453 and if anyone in the entire world 251 00:09:02,487 --> 00:09:04,956 should understand the difficult position I'm in, it's... 252 00:09:04,990 --> 00:09:07,708 It's just I've made an effort 253 00:09:07,759 --> 00:09:09,677 and I've shared my flags with him, 254 00:09:09,711 --> 00:09:11,562 and suddenly, he doesn't want to be friends? 255 00:09:11,597 --> 00:09:12,297 You know what? 256 00:09:12,331 --> 00:09:14,632 That leaves me with only one option. 257 00:09:14,666 --> 00:09:16,467 Just excuse me for a... 258 00:09:17,569 --> 00:09:19,871 Attention. This is an urgent world matter. 259 00:09:19,905 --> 00:09:22,189 Due to a recent betrayal, my homeland, 260 00:09:22,224 --> 00:09:23,274 the great state of Denmark, 261 00:09:23,309 --> 00:09:26,560 has officially decided to declare war on Peru. 262 00:09:26,612 --> 00:09:29,914 Scandinavian brothers, on my signal. 263 00:09:29,948 --> 00:09:31,816 Unleash hell! 264 00:09:34,119 --> 00:09:36,904 See, I just don't believe in this whole 265 00:09:36,955 --> 00:09:38,956 don't let people know how you feel nonsense. 266 00:09:38,991 --> 00:09:40,925 I love telling people how I feel. 267 00:09:40,959 --> 00:09:42,192 Mostly because I love most people. 268 00:09:42,210 --> 00:09:43,711 And I love telling them that I love them. 269 00:09:43,745 --> 00:09:45,262 You didn't tell that girl you love her, did you? 270 00:09:45,297 --> 00:09:47,298 - No. I'm not crazy. - What is this urgent meeting 271 00:09:47,332 --> 00:09:48,749 with Donna and Jerry? 272 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,084 Ann Perkins. I took your advice. 273 00:09:50,136 --> 00:09:51,903 - My sarcastic advice. - Precisely. 274 00:09:51,937 --> 00:09:52,838 And we're getting to the bottom 275 00:09:52,872 --> 00:09:55,256 of what's going on with me and Jerry's daughter, 276 00:09:55,307 --> 00:09:56,757 and I thought you would be a tremendous addition 277 00:09:56,808 --> 00:09:57,976 to this think tank. 278 00:09:58,010 --> 00:09:59,977 This is incredibly inappropriate. 279 00:10:00,012 --> 00:10:02,096 - Oh, thank you! - Okay, I'm game. 280 00:10:03,548 --> 00:10:05,149 No. I'm not kidding. 281 00:10:05,183 --> 00:10:07,101 My name's Gary, and I'm from Gary, Indiana. 282 00:10:07,152 --> 00:10:08,102 Amazing. 283 00:10:08,154 --> 00:10:09,387 People like hearing that. 284 00:10:09,421 --> 00:10:11,522 It's probably one of my stronger anecdotes. 285 00:10:11,556 --> 00:10:14,525 A fact is not an anecdote, Gary. 286 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:15,776 Here's an anecdote... 287 00:10:15,827 --> 00:10:18,029 Today I met the most boring man in the world. 288 00:10:18,063 --> 00:10:19,597 His name was Gary. 289 00:10:19,631 --> 00:10:20,598 Hmm. 290 00:10:20,632 --> 00:10:22,600 Now... 291 00:10:22,634 --> 00:10:24,035 Keith. 292 00:10:24,069 --> 00:10:25,503 Under sex, you wrote... 293 00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:28,539 "Yes. Ha ha, ha ha, ha ha." 294 00:10:28,573 --> 00:10:30,624 - Well-played. - Thank you. 295 00:10:30,676 --> 00:10:32,443 Ah, but all jokes aside. 296 00:10:32,477 --> 00:10:35,713 I'm a boy. 297 00:10:35,747 --> 00:10:37,348 Keith, I had this job for four years. 298 00:10:37,382 --> 00:10:39,784 And I can tell you, you get out of it what you put into it. 299 00:10:39,818 --> 00:10:41,285 What are you hoping to get out of it? 300 00:10:41,319 --> 00:10:42,720 In like a month or so. 301 00:10:42,754 --> 00:10:44,388 - What? - Oh...What! 302 00:10:44,423 --> 00:10:47,324 What am I hoping to get out of this job? 303 00:10:47,359 --> 00:10:48,693 Yeah. 304 00:10:48,727 --> 00:10:50,861 Yeah. Like one... one month of money... 305 00:10:50,896 --> 00:10:52,697 Would be... would be just right. 306 00:10:53,231 --> 00:10:54,532 Let me give you a situation. 307 00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:57,468 You're hosting a town hall meeting for local businesses. 308 00:10:57,502 --> 00:10:58,736 Uh... That's so much stuff. 309 00:10:58,770 --> 00:11:01,789 You just, uh... kept on going. 310 00:11:01,823 --> 00:11:03,040 That was like one thing. 311 00:11:03,075 --> 00:11:04,542 I didn't even get to the situation yet. 312 00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:07,161 Oh! All right. 313 00:11:07,212 --> 00:11:09,013 Well, thanks, guys. 314 00:11:09,047 --> 00:11:12,166 I think we've all seen enough. 315 00:11:12,217 --> 00:11:14,385 Still not totally sure what I'm applying for. 316 00:11:14,419 --> 00:11:17,755 But...if you ask me, I think it went pretty well. 317 00:11:18,289 --> 00:11:20,975 What we need to focus on is how to destroy Peru, 318 00:11:21,009 --> 00:11:23,094 specifically one person who lives there. 319 00:11:23,128 --> 00:11:25,312 Madame Ambassador, are you changing the scenario? 320 00:11:25,347 --> 00:11:27,398 We didn't prepare for this. 321 00:11:27,432 --> 00:11:29,650 Global politics can change, and scenarios can arise 322 00:11:29,684 --> 00:11:32,103 and suddenly you're just like, "wait, I thought this one thing, 323 00:11:32,137 --> 00:11:33,604 "but look over there. That's a different thing, 324 00:11:33,638 --> 00:11:35,239 and it's changing everything," and I'm like, "what?" 325 00:11:35,273 --> 00:11:38,409 Hold up." Who has tanks for me? 326 00:11:38,443 --> 00:11:39,944 I-I'm sorry, but... 327 00:11:39,978 --> 00:11:42,029 We're gonna keep trying to solve the food crisis. 328 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,365 Food schmood. This is war. 329 00:11:44,416 --> 00:11:47,034 God, it's time for you to nut up, Switzerland. 330 00:11:47,085 --> 00:11:48,836 Well, well, well, look who is brave enough 331 00:11:48,870 --> 00:11:50,421 to show his face in Europe. 332 00:11:50,455 --> 00:11:51,856 Say the word, Leslie. 333 00:11:51,890 --> 00:11:54,375 I'll sick my army of lions on him. 334 00:11:54,426 --> 00:11:55,960 Okay, look, I think, um... 335 00:11:55,994 --> 00:11:58,696 Things are starting to get a little out of control here. 336 00:11:58,730 --> 00:12:00,030 I agree. You betrayed me, 337 00:12:00,065 --> 00:12:02,767 and you went behind my back, and now you need to pay. 338 00:12:02,801 --> 00:12:04,018 I need to... I need to pay. 339 00:12:04,052 --> 00:12:05,536 Do I stutter? 340 00:12:05,570 --> 00:12:07,021 Oh. Okay. Fair enough. 341 00:12:07,055 --> 00:12:09,106 Oh, you know what? You might wanna borrow this. 342 00:12:09,141 --> 00:12:10,975 Ew, no one wants your dirty underwear, Ben. 343 00:12:11,009 --> 00:12:13,310 It's not dirty underwear. It's a white flag, 344 00:12:13,345 --> 00:12:14,945 and you may as well start waving it right now... 345 00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:16,447 the only thing I will be waving 346 00:12:16,481 --> 00:12:17,982 is your decapitated head on a stick 347 00:12:18,016 --> 00:12:20,818 in front of your weeping mother! 348 00:12:22,070 --> 00:12:23,454 Good lord. 349 00:12:23,570 --> 00:12:24,954 They were duds, Ron. 350 00:12:25,023 --> 00:12:26,323 Really, anything would be better 351 00:12:26,358 --> 00:12:27,825 than the people we interviewed today. 352 00:12:27,859 --> 00:12:29,593 I guess you're right, Tom. 353 00:12:29,628 --> 00:12:31,045 I'm not gonna find another you. 354 00:12:31,079 --> 00:12:32,396 You were perfect. 355 00:12:32,430 --> 00:12:35,583 Competent enough to keep the bosses off my back, 356 00:12:35,634 --> 00:12:38,435 but selfish enough to slow down all the work. 357 00:12:38,470 --> 00:12:40,471 Tom Haverfords don't grow on trees. 358 00:12:40,505 --> 00:12:42,673 If they did, I'd sell 'em. 359 00:12:42,707 --> 00:12:44,175 Tommy trees. 360 00:12:44,209 --> 00:12:46,076 Would you consider coming back? 361 00:12:46,811 --> 00:12:48,813 Sorry, Ron. No can do. 362 00:12:48,847 --> 00:12:50,848 I'm like a shark. I don't swim backwards. 363 00:12:50,882 --> 00:12:53,017 See ya later, man. 364 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,754 We've been making great strides 365 00:12:56,788 --> 00:12:58,823 with genetically modified crops 366 00:12:58,857 --> 00:13:01,458 and would gladly pledge to continue the growth of... 367 00:13:01,493 --> 00:13:02,793 excuse me, Madame Ambassador. 368 00:13:02,828 --> 00:13:04,061 - Excuse me. - I'm not finished. 369 00:13:04,079 --> 00:13:05,329 Oh, really? 370 00:13:05,363 --> 00:13:07,431 Then why do I have the microphone? 371 00:13:07,465 --> 00:13:11,619 I move that the Security Council formally condemn Denmark 372 00:13:11,670 --> 00:13:13,087 and stop them from making 373 00:13:13,121 --> 00:13:15,840 any more unwarranted acts of aggression. 374 00:13:15,874 --> 00:13:18,509 As long as you quit derailing the conference. 375 00:13:18,543 --> 00:13:20,294 People are dying of hunger in Africa. 376 00:13:20,345 --> 00:13:21,846 Oh, cry me a river. 377 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:23,347 All in favor of the resolution. 378 00:13:25,350 --> 00:13:27,251 - What?! - Oh, that's interesting. 379 00:13:27,269 --> 00:13:30,187 The resolution passes with flying colors. 380 00:13:30,222 --> 00:13:32,773 Denmark is formally condemned. 381 00:13:32,807 --> 00:13:34,358 Bam! 382 00:13:36,127 --> 00:13:38,529 That's no problemo, Peru, 383 00:13:38,563 --> 00:13:41,532 because Denmark no longer recognizes the authority 384 00:13:41,566 --> 00:13:43,434 of this international gang of thugs. 385 00:13:43,468 --> 00:13:45,936 And history will be unkind to those 386 00:13:45,954 --> 00:13:47,955 who stand opposed to justice. 387 00:13:47,989 --> 00:13:51,292 Together, we stand... and I ask all of you... 388 00:13:51,326 --> 00:13:54,945 who is ready to join the Coalition of the Willing? 389 00:13:56,798 --> 00:13:59,383 The Moon shall join your coalition. 390 00:13:59,417 --> 00:14:00,801 Yeah! We got the freaking moon. 391 00:14:00,835 --> 00:14:03,621 What are you gonna do without tides, Peru? 392 00:14:03,655 --> 00:14:06,140 Okay. We need to stop dealing in hypotheticals. 393 00:14:06,174 --> 00:14:09,126 Ann, we dated. What happened to us? 394 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,962 Really? Do you... wanna get real? 395 00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:14,181 Sure. Sounds like fun. 396 00:14:14,232 --> 00:14:16,850 Sometimes your relentless cheeriness is confusing. 397 00:14:17,302 --> 00:14:18,702 Like that time we went to Eagleton 398 00:14:18,737 --> 00:14:20,971 and we got that hotel room with the jacuzzi... 399 00:14:20,989 --> 00:14:22,523 Ooh, this just got real good! 400 00:14:22,574 --> 00:14:24,158 And the jacuzzi broke. 401 00:14:24,192 --> 00:14:26,327 But I did... eat food off of your body. 402 00:14:26,361 --> 00:14:28,979 - Oh, come on. - All right, Chris and Ann! 403 00:14:29,014 --> 00:14:31,248 I just wanna go back to work. 404 00:14:31,283 --> 00:14:32,833 So the Coalition of the Willing 405 00:14:32,867 --> 00:14:35,185 is Denmark, Botswana, and the Moon. 406 00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:36,537 The big three. 407 00:14:36,588 --> 00:14:38,088 Now, here's what we're gonna do. 408 00:14:38,123 --> 00:14:40,674 Ben is probably shoring up his support in South America. 409 00:14:40,709 --> 00:14:42,343 While he does that, we are gonna make sure... 410 00:14:42,377 --> 00:14:44,511 Attention! 411 00:14:44,546 --> 00:14:46,880 The Security Council has decided to expel 412 00:14:46,932 --> 00:14:49,833 Peru and Denmark from the United Nations. 413 00:14:49,868 --> 00:14:51,719 Madame Ambassadeur... Pourquoi? 414 00:14:51,770 --> 00:14:54,171 'Cause you guys suck. Look around. 415 00:14:54,689 --> 00:14:57,608 We thought you were gonna teach us how to solve problems. 416 00:14:57,642 --> 00:15:00,694 You've ruined my favorite club. Thanks a lot. 417 00:15:01,863 --> 00:15:03,013 Did we win? 418 00:15:03,048 --> 00:15:05,215 I think we won! 419 00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:08,369 What were we trying to do? I learned so much today. 420 00:15:14,146 --> 00:15:16,014 I just wanted to say 421 00:15:16,065 --> 00:15:17,815 that I thought it was really cool 422 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:20,068 how everything fell apart in there. 423 00:15:22,071 --> 00:15:23,738 And also, maybe you should talk to Ben. 424 00:15:23,772 --> 00:15:26,274 No. He's being a jerk. 425 00:15:26,308 --> 00:15:28,610 Please? When Ben gets upset, 426 00:15:28,644 --> 00:15:31,045 he becomes a really bad roommate. 427 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,181 He takes really long sadness baths 428 00:15:33,215 --> 00:15:35,650 and makes me late for stuff. 429 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,721 I hate it here. 430 00:15:39,755 --> 00:15:41,889 Can't wait to graduate. 431 00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:48,162 Yeah, but summer's gonna totally kick ass. 432 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,831 So you're saying 433 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,999 that I intimidated you? 434 00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:53,518 - No. Not exactly. - Come on. 435 00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:55,937 Talk more about that tantric workshop y'all went to. 436 00:15:55,971 --> 00:15:57,939 I was so into you, okay, 437 00:15:57,973 --> 00:16:00,775 and you basically turned me into a female version of yourself, 438 00:16:00,809 --> 00:16:01,976 and then you got bored dating me 439 00:16:02,010 --> 00:16:04,512 because you were dating yourself. 440 00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:05,880 Huh... 441 00:16:05,914 --> 00:16:07,882 I mean, I was jogging. I hate jogging. 442 00:16:07,916 --> 00:16:11,119 - Jogging's amazing! - Jogging is the worst, Chris. 443 00:16:11,153 --> 00:16:12,186 I mean, I know it keeps you healthy, 444 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:13,621 but God, at what cost? 445 00:16:13,656 --> 00:16:15,957 Well, I'm sorry that I added five years to your life. 446 00:16:15,991 --> 00:16:18,292 Now I'm being sarcastic. 447 00:16:18,327 --> 00:16:20,328 Like you. I'm doing something that you like. 448 00:16:20,362 --> 00:16:21,546 Being with you 449 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:23,631 definitely made me do a lot of soul-searching, 450 00:16:23,666 --> 00:16:25,199 and I came out the other side 451 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:27,368 being a much more self-possessed person. 452 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,403 Well, I'm glad. 453 00:16:28,437 --> 00:16:31,089 Good luck with Millicent. Just back off a little bit. 454 00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:33,474 Let her be herself. Everything'll be fine. 455 00:16:33,509 --> 00:16:35,410 Thank you. 456 00:16:35,444 --> 00:16:37,478 If you rearrange the letters of Peru, 457 00:16:37,513 --> 00:16:39,764 you could spell Europe. 458 00:16:39,815 --> 00:16:41,099 That's... That's not true. 459 00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:43,050 Well... You have to rearrange them. 460 00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:44,602 - Oh... - Delegates! 461 00:16:44,653 --> 00:16:46,554 I know that you're angry with each other. 462 00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:47,922 Hopefully, this will be your opportunity 463 00:16:47,956 --> 00:16:50,775 to have your very own Camp David. 464 00:16:50,826 --> 00:16:52,226 In high school, 465 00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:53,561 my buddy David Fundis would have 466 00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:55,396 these campouts in his backyard. 467 00:16:55,414 --> 00:16:58,399 We would just chill out, have a bonfire, 468 00:16:58,417 --> 00:17:00,601 talk about whatever was on our mind. 469 00:17:00,636 --> 00:17:03,404 We called it camp David. 470 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,006 How do you know about Camp David? 471 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,507 How do you know about camp David? 472 00:17:06,542 --> 00:17:08,259 Ooookay. 473 00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:10,344 You guys are being stupid, so why don't you work it out 474 00:17:10,379 --> 00:17:14,632 - while Andy and I... - Throw these scientist bottles 475 00:17:14,683 --> 00:17:15,633 - off the roof? - No. 476 00:17:15,684 --> 00:17:16,984 That's right. See ya. 477 00:17:17,019 --> 00:17:20,988 Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. 478 00:17:21,023 --> 00:17:22,490 It's bad enough that we can't be together, 479 00:17:22,525 --> 00:17:25,693 but the thought of us not being friends is... 480 00:17:25,728 --> 00:17:27,662 Is just too crappy for me to handle. 481 00:17:27,696 --> 00:17:30,131 I was... perhaps 482 00:17:30,165 --> 00:17:32,600 a little icier than I needed to be. 483 00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,969 I just need you to be in my life. 484 00:17:35,003 --> 00:17:37,438 You're too important to me. 485 00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,173 I wish I could say it's possible. 486 00:17:39,208 --> 00:17:41,142 I just... I don't know if it is right now. 487 00:17:43,212 --> 00:17:45,379 Well, I propose a treaty 488 00:17:45,414 --> 00:17:48,449 that states that we have a fun conversation 489 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:52,119 once a day at work for five minutes. 490 00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:54,822 I'll take it to the Peruvian senate. 491 00:17:54,857 --> 00:17:56,057 Or whatever. 492 00:17:56,091 --> 00:17:57,158 - Please do that. - I'll try. 493 00:17:57,192 --> 00:17:58,309 I'll see what they say. 494 00:17:58,343 --> 00:18:00,478 What do we do with those kids? 495 00:18:00,512 --> 00:18:01,962 We totally ruined their club. 496 00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:04,499 I could tell you what I would like when I was their age. 497 00:18:04,533 --> 00:18:06,234 Ben, how are we gonna get Kathy Ireland 498 00:18:06,268 --> 00:18:08,236 to do naked aerobics for them? 499 00:18:08,270 --> 00:18:10,838 Okay. I regret telling you that... very much. 500 00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:13,991 Hey. 501 00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:15,660 Oh, hey, Ron. 502 00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:17,978 All right. I gotta come clean. 503 00:18:17,996 --> 00:18:21,082 I saw you spraying cologne samples at Macy's. 504 00:18:21,116 --> 00:18:23,217 What? Macy's? That wasn't me. 505 00:18:23,252 --> 00:18:25,653 There's a Macy's in town? Where's the Macy's in town? 506 00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:27,889 I heard they have an amazing cologne sample guy. 507 00:18:27,923 --> 00:18:30,691 Just take the job, Tommy. Come on back. 508 00:18:30,726 --> 00:18:32,426 I quit to peruse my dream. 509 00:18:32,461 --> 00:18:34,896 And my dream collapsed. It's embarrassing, Ron. 510 00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:38,182 I can't go from a CEO back to being an administrator. 511 00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:39,668 Is there anything I can do 512 00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:43,337 to make you feel okay about coming back? 513 00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:44,906 Everyone, please... 514 00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:46,724 Help me. 515 00:18:46,775 --> 00:18:48,943 I'm trying to get Tom back. 516 00:18:48,977 --> 00:18:51,062 I'm... 517 00:18:51,113 --> 00:18:53,247 begging. 518 00:18:53,282 --> 00:18:55,683 This department just doesn't work without you. 519 00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,351 What do you say? 520 00:18:57,386 --> 00:19:00,721 Ron, this is embarrassing. Even for you. 521 00:19:01,356 --> 00:19:03,424 I'm not coming back. 522 00:19:03,458 --> 00:19:05,827 Peace out, my dudes. 523 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:10,298 Excuse me, everyone. 524 00:19:15,170 --> 00:19:16,554 That was great. 525 00:19:16,588 --> 00:19:18,272 So what I'm thinking is I'll come back in a few days, 526 00:19:18,307 --> 00:19:19,273 you'll beg me again... 527 00:19:19,308 --> 00:19:20,408 aah! 528 00:19:20,442 --> 00:19:22,310 So if it's okay with you guys, 529 00:19:22,344 --> 00:19:24,445 I would like to ask Ron for my job back. 530 00:19:24,479 --> 00:19:25,730 Ron... 531 00:19:25,764 --> 00:19:28,349 May I have my job back, please? 532 00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:32,286 Thank you. 533 00:19:32,321 --> 00:19:34,889 I will see you all Monday. 534 00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:37,992 Looking forward to it. 535 00:19:39,027 --> 00:19:40,227 Ah, France, 536 00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:41,279 bienvenue. 537 00:19:41,330 --> 00:19:42,613 My name is Cassidy, 538 00:19:42,664 --> 00:19:44,398 - and I'm really annoyed with you. - Yes. 539 00:19:44,416 --> 00:19:45,784 And you have every right to be, 540 00:19:45,835 --> 00:19:47,186 but we're hoping what we're gonna show you right now 541 00:19:47,237 --> 00:19:49,004 will make up for that. 542 00:19:50,038 --> 00:19:51,756 - What? - Oh, my God! 543 00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,958 Pawnee City Council chambers. 544 00:19:54,009 --> 00:19:57,511 The nicest room in City Hall by a factor of like a million. 545 00:19:57,846 --> 00:19:59,931 Go ahead. Sit down. 546 00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:02,249 Leslie and I feel terrible 547 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:04,435 for war breaking out at your Model U.N. 548 00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:06,320 Which, for the record, Denmark would have won, 549 00:20:06,355 --> 00:20:07,605 but that's neither here nor there. 550 00:20:07,639 --> 00:20:09,090 Thanks to a coordinated effort 551 00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:11,826 between the parks department and the city manager's office, 552 00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:13,427 three months from now, we are gonna hold 553 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,264 a State-wide Model U.N. In this room, 554 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,366 - and you're gonna run the show. - What? 555 00:20:18,401 --> 00:20:21,335 And we will just be... not here. 556 00:20:21,370 --> 00:20:23,504 - Or taking some small countries. - No, no, no, no. 557 00:20:23,538 --> 00:20:24,705 No. Fine. Not here. 558 00:20:24,740 --> 00:20:26,774 - Sound good? - Yes! 559 00:20:26,808 --> 00:20:29,109 Those kids are passionate about something. 560 00:20:29,127 --> 00:20:30,378 That's important. 561 00:20:30,412 --> 00:20:34,115 That's all there is, really, is passion. 562 00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:37,168 Passion is what makes for good treaties... 563 00:20:37,219 --> 00:20:39,170 - Cheese! - Good relationships... 564 00:20:39,221 --> 00:20:40,471 Good pizza. 565 00:20:40,505 --> 00:20:41,822 Good friends. 566 00:20:41,857 --> 00:20:43,491 Good everything. 567 00:20:43,525 --> 00:20:45,360 Including wars. 568 00:20:45,515 --> 00:20:47,949 ♪ 569 00:20:49,318 --> 00:20:50,338 Ladies and Gentlemen, 570 00:20:50,418 --> 00:20:51,885 "He was gone but never forgotten." 571 00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:53,303 "He makes all the ladies want..." 572 00:20:53,354 --> 00:20:54,804 No, I'm not gonna say that. 573 00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:57,457 "Swagger... beats... 574 00:20:57,491 --> 00:20:59,893 and I get the... Who's the..." 575 00:20:59,927 --> 00:21:01,260 All right, forget it. 576 00:21:01,278 --> 00:21:03,262 Welcome back, Tom Haverford! 577 00:21:04,648 --> 00:21:07,000 Tick-tock, it's Tommy time! 578 00:21:07,034 --> 00:21:09,268 I'm sorry, I have to object again. 579 00:21:09,286 --> 00:21:11,971 This just seems unfair. I understand that, Jerry. 580 00:21:12,006 --> 00:21:14,106 But the problem is is that Tom came back 581 00:21:14,124 --> 00:21:16,743 and Andy's my assistant, so I kinda need him close to me. 582 00:21:16,777 --> 00:21:18,628 Okay, but I can't even hear anything 583 00:21:18,662 --> 00:21:21,414 because of the noise from the copier. 584 00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:23,449 Sorry. These are really important. 585 00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:31,808 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com