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Oh, goody, you're all here.
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Now, I know I'm not supposed to talk
about my campaign in the office,
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but last night I've made a decision
about who should be my campaign manager.
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This is a huge job.
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This is going to require
a lot of late night,
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one-on-one jam sessions
with me,
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and we're going to bounce ideas
off of each other,
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you're going to have to take
calls for me,
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any time, day or night.
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The person I have chosen is,
drum roll please,
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Ann Perkins! Yay!
Give it up for Ann!
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Good choice.
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Leslie, I don't know the first
thing about running
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a political campaign.
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Ann, you beautiful tropical fish.
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You're smart as a whip
and you're cool under pressure.
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You've resuscitated a human
heart in your bare hands.
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No, I haven't.
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- You haven't?
- No!
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You will.
You're that good of a nurse.
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What about Ben?
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I mean, he ran for mayor
at 18 and won.
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Ben is poison in my campaign.
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Our relationship is the reason
why my advisors pulled out.
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- I--
- Ann,
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don't listen to your head
or your heart.
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Just look at my eyes
and say "yes."
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- Okay, yes.
- Yes!
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- I believe in you, Ann.
- Thank you.
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And your first job
as my campaign manager
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is to start dressing like one.
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I don't want to have this
conversation again.
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Again? You just hired me eight
seconds ago.
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Wow. You're doing
a really bad job.
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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- William, Elizabeth.
- Leslie, hi.
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Hi. What are you--
Are you coming to see me?
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Did you hear that I'm
relaunching my campaign?
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Actually, no, sorry.
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We weren't here to see you.
We've been meeting with
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other potential candidates
for city council.
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Yes, that's our job.
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I know.
Good luck, but, uh,
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I just had a big meeting
with my new advisory board,
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and they're brilliant and amazing.
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They're real killers.
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Leslie, I tried to make
ramen in the coffee pot
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and I broke everything.
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Thank you, Andy.
I'll be right in.
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Well, uh, good luck,
Leslie. Honestly.
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Well, we don't need luck.
We are a rocket ship.
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We are relaunching,
and we're going to blast past
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your cann--
Huh, they're gone.
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It's true--I no longer have
highly-trained,
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professional campaign managers.
So what?
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Are most murders committed by
highly-trained,
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professional assassins?
No.
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They're committed by friends
and coworkers.
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That analogy was way better
in my head.
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Hi.
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Champion? Oh my gosh,
there you are, puppy.
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- That's a good boy.
- That is a three-legged dog.
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His name is Champion, because
he's the dog world champion.
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Okay, I have to ask this, I'm sorry,
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but how many legs did that dog
have when you found him?
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Three! That's what
makes him the best.
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He can do more with three legs
than most dogs can do with four.
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Except for digging.
He's really bad at digging.
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And you remember what you said
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about making decisions in the house?
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You want to be involved.
We get that, so...
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You just say the word,
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and Champion goes back to the pound,
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where he can be put down
and killed forever.
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I'm not gonna send
a three-legged dog to his death.
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Yes!
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But I'm not gonna
take care of him for you.
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Well, it would be nice
if you helped a little.
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Because, unlike you,
Andy and I have jobs.
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Cruel, but fair.
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So Leslie and I have
come up with the theme
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for the campaign relaunch rally.
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"The Comeback Kid."
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Everyone loves
a good comeback story. Rocky.
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Robert Downey, Jr.
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Terminator said,
"I'll be back," and he was.
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Also making a comeback--
the casual Hawaiian shirt.
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Well, well, well,
look, who's ahead of the curve.
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I was joking.
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You should soak that
in bleach and burn it.
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Okay, so, the rally's
going to be held tomorrow
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at the Pawnee Sports Building.
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April, you finalized a rental, right?
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Shut up, Ann.
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I told you never to talk to me.
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That was Champion.
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Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
Bad dog!
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Yes, everything's fine
with the rental.
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Ron, you're constructing the stage?
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Yes, ma'am.
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Leslie wanted to hire
a contractor to build a stage.
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I don't want to paint
with a broad brush here,
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but every single contractor
in the world
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is a miserable, incompetent thief.
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Seal the edges by crimping
the fork--aw, crap.
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Ed!
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What's up, Chris?
Come on in, man.
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I already did.
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So, uh, how you been?
How are you doing?
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- How are you?
- Great, actually.
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I'm just learning how to
make a "cali-zoin-za."
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Or, as you Americans
like to say, calzones.
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- Do you want one?
- No, I find calzone fatty,
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and unnecessary.
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So, you've hit a bit of a rough patch,
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and I care about you,
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so I just want to make sure
you're doing okay.
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Chris, honestly, I'm great.
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I'm just exploring whatever fun
activity pops into my brain.
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Like, check this out.
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I'm teaching myself how to do
Claymation videos.
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Isn't this just so cool?
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It is so cool!
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Ben is massively depressed,
and he needs my help.
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You look like a real campaign manager.
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Oh, thanks, that's because
I googled "campaign manager"
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and noticed that they wear
a lot of dark colors.
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See, there's more things
to look at on the Internet
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- besides naked guys, Ann.
- What?
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00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,301
I need a team update,
campaign manager.
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Okay. Pistol Pete Disellio
will be here in five minutes.
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I still can't believe
that you got him.
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Ann got local hero Pistol
Pete Disellio
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to endorse me at the rally.
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In 1992, Pistol Pete's
last-second dunk
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00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:50,466
against Eagleton High clinched
a comeback victory
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00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,985
for the Pawnee Central
drunken savages.
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00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,488
Team mascot later changed.
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Akash, buddy, of course
I came to you first.
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You're the best carpet man in Pawnee.
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But here's my question--
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Do your carpets match your drapes?
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How do you make any event classy
on a budget?
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Red carpet.
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My entire apartment is red carpet.
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On top of that,
leading into my bedroom,
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a second red carpet.
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Oh, what's this in my shoe?
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Red carpet insole.
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Everywhere I go,
I'm walking on red carpet.
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Is there even enough room
for everyone?
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- Here, sit on my lap.
- No, that's humiliating.
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Can't I at least sit on Andy's lap?
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No, that's Champion's spot.
He called it.
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Tom, we're already late.
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Now, be a man, and sit
on that girl's lap.
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Yes, sir.
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Hi, Pete Disellio.
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We can call you Pistol, right?
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I prefer Pete.
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Oh. Okay, got it.
I'm Leslie Knope.
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We overlapped a year
at Pawnee Central.
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You probably remember my voice
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from the morning announcements.
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This is my campaign manager,
Ann Perkins.
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Hi, nice to meet you.
Come on in.
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Oh, thanks.
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- I'm excited to be here.
- Ah! We're excited to have you.
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Ann is killing it.
My campaign team is unstoppable.
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00:07:04,541 --> 00:07:06,876
This rally is going to be awesome.
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Oh, my God, I'm feeling it!
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I'm gonna break dance!
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Leslie?
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Coming! Thank God.
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00:07:22,414 --> 00:07:25,833
Oh, Champion is a way better
kisser than you are, babe.
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00:07:25,868 --> 00:07:27,168
- Nuh-uh!
- Yes, he is.
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00:07:27,202 --> 00:07:29,959
He's even a better kisser
than me. Here, try some.
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Okay, stop it.
He's drooling on me!
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Oh!
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- This is unsafe.
- Ha ha!
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Oh, we should do it for the kids.
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Kids love it, Ron.
Just for the kids.
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Hi, kids! Hey!
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00:07:42,685 --> 00:07:44,018
Oh, look.
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The police even love it.
They're sirening back to us.
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00:07:46,088 --> 00:07:47,889
That's awesome, I was
going to tell them that we--
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00:07:47,923 --> 00:07:51,526
Heard ya, bud!
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00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:54,646
And then, you come out,
and you dunk the ball,
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00:07:54,697 --> 00:07:58,032
and you say, "Voting for Leslie
Knope is a slam dunk!"
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00:07:58,067 --> 00:07:59,167
You can still dunk, right?
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00:07:59,201 --> 00:08:03,037
- Oh, I can, but I won't.
- Sorry?
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00:08:03,072 --> 00:08:04,238
Look, everywhere I go,
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00:08:04,273 --> 00:08:05,773
everybody wants me to
talk about that dunk,
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00:08:05,791 --> 00:08:06,941
and that game.
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00:08:06,976 --> 00:08:08,209
It feels like I'm living in the past.
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00:08:08,243 --> 00:08:12,130
But the past is great.
The jitterbug, stagecoaches,
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00:08:12,164 --> 00:08:13,314
Herman Munster.
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00:08:13,349 --> 00:08:14,882
Look, Leslie, I read up on you.
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00:08:14,917 --> 00:08:16,484
You've done great stuff
for our parks system
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00:08:16,518 --> 00:08:18,686
and I will happily endorse you...
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00:08:18,721 --> 00:08:20,321
As Peter Disellio,
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00:08:20,356 --> 00:08:22,056
regional distributor
for Derwin ham loafs,
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00:08:22,091 --> 00:08:25,560
but if this is about who I was,
or what I did when I was 17,
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00:08:25,594 --> 00:08:27,362
I'm out of here.
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00:08:27,396 --> 00:08:29,147
Let's not talk about dunking anymore.
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00:08:29,181 --> 00:08:30,297
Let's talk about what you want to do.
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00:08:30,316 --> 00:08:32,066
- Okay.
- I think you want to dunk.
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00:08:32,101 --> 00:08:33,534
I'm not going to dunk the ball.
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00:08:33,569 --> 00:08:35,737
What about a layup?
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00:08:35,771 --> 00:08:38,156
Officer, I've been operating
heavy machinery
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00:08:38,190 --> 00:08:40,575
since I was eight years old.
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00:08:40,609 --> 00:08:43,528
Now, I respect you
and your service to this town
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00:08:43,579 --> 00:08:44,712
and your country,
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00:08:44,747 --> 00:08:48,416
but what laws are we breaking exactly?
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00:08:48,450 --> 00:08:50,351
Well, you got four people
in the front seat,
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00:08:50,386 --> 00:08:52,186
nobody's wearing a seat belt,
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00:08:52,221 --> 00:08:53,705
you were speeding
and blasting your horn
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00:08:53,756 --> 00:08:55,189
through the hospital zone,
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00:08:55,224 --> 00:08:58,376
the rear of the vehicle's open,
debris has been falling out,
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00:08:58,427 --> 00:09:00,561
and you don't have a commercial
license to drive a truck.
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00:09:00,596 --> 00:09:04,132
Okay. Well, we have
a philosophical difference
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00:09:04,166 --> 00:09:06,384
on what constitutes a law.
223
00:09:06,435 --> 00:09:07,668
I need to see your hands
224
00:09:07,686 --> 00:09:09,837
and could you step out of
the vehicle, please?
225
00:09:09,855 --> 00:09:13,358
Hi. I just wanted you to know
we're about to be arrested.
226
00:09:13,392 --> 00:09:14,909
Oh my God, April, that's horrible.
227
00:09:14,943 --> 00:09:16,561
Where are you?
228
00:09:16,612 --> 00:09:18,363
"My mother's butt," really?
That's really helpful.
229
00:09:18,397 --> 00:09:19,781
Let me talk to her.
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00:09:19,815 --> 00:09:22,617
April, this is city council
candidate Leslie Knope.
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00:09:22,651 --> 00:09:24,018
Do not make any trouble.
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00:09:24,036 --> 00:09:27,205
Sit tight.
I'm on my way.
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00:09:27,239 --> 00:09:29,040
- Whoa. You just hung up on her?
- She'd already hung up on me.
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00:09:29,074 --> 00:09:30,892
Okay, I'm going to go down
there and get them out,
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00:09:30,926 --> 00:09:32,427
because men in uniform love me.
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00:09:32,461 --> 00:09:35,063
You have to get Pistol Pete
to make that shot.
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00:09:35,097 --> 00:09:36,831
Okay, but if I don't,
it's no big deal, right?
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00:09:36,865 --> 00:09:39,167
- You'll just make your speech?
- He's our surprise headliner.
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00:09:39,201 --> 00:09:41,202
The whole town loves him.
I'm polling at 1%.
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00:09:41,236 --> 00:09:43,054
He must dunk, Ann.
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00:09:43,088 --> 00:09:44,756
Do whatever it takes.
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00:09:44,807 --> 00:09:46,373
You know, anything short
of sexual favors.
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00:09:46,392 --> 00:09:47,842
- What?
- I do not--
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00:09:47,876 --> 00:09:49,477
I repeat, I do not
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00:09:49,511 --> 00:09:51,446
want you to tempt him
with sexual favors.
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00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:52,947
- I wasn't going to.
- Good, I wouldn't either.
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00:09:52,981 --> 00:09:54,315
That's where I draw the line.
248
00:09:54,349 --> 00:09:55,550
Although, I am a little offended
249
00:09:55,584 --> 00:09:56,567
that you wouldn't do that for me.
250
00:09:56,602 --> 00:09:58,102
- Go.
- Right.
251
00:09:58,153 --> 00:10:02,356
- So, Ben...Why Calzone?
- Glad you asked, Chris.
252
00:10:02,390 --> 00:10:04,725
You know, there's fast food
hamburgers.
253
00:10:04,743 --> 00:10:05,893
There's fast food Mexican.
254
00:10:05,911 --> 00:10:07,394
There's fast food Chinese.
Blah blah blah.
255
00:10:07,413 --> 00:10:08,830
Have you ever wondered
256
00:10:08,864 --> 00:10:11,165
why there isn't a fast food
option for Italian food?
257
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,533
What about pizza?
258
00:10:12,567 --> 00:10:15,069
Pizza?
Never heard of it.
259
00:10:15,087 --> 00:10:16,838
That's what people will be
saying in 20 years,
260
00:10:16,872 --> 00:10:19,240
because pizza is old news, Chris.
261
00:10:19,258 --> 00:10:22,126
Pizza is your grandfather's calzone.
262
00:10:22,177 --> 00:10:23,628
Never thought of it that way.
263
00:10:23,679 --> 00:10:25,430
What I'm talking about is
a portable, delicious meal,
264
00:10:25,464 --> 00:10:26,848
that is it's own container.
265
00:10:26,882 --> 00:10:29,984
It's a whole new spin
on Italian fast casual dining.
266
00:10:30,018 --> 00:10:31,853
Amazing.
267
00:10:31,887 --> 00:10:34,222
And you of all people will like this.
268
00:10:34,256 --> 00:10:35,223
I'm gonna use
low-fat ingredients.
269
00:10:35,257 --> 00:10:36,524
Game-changer.
270
00:10:36,558 --> 00:10:39,560
And I will call my new
Italian fast casual eatery
271
00:10:39,594 --> 00:10:44,148
"The Low-cal Calzone Zone."
272
00:10:44,199 --> 00:10:47,235
That idea is literally
the greatest idea
273
00:10:47,269 --> 00:10:48,302
I've ever heard in my life.
274
00:10:48,337 --> 00:10:50,471
That idea is terrible.
275
00:10:50,506 --> 00:10:52,273
Glen, you're killing me.
276
00:10:52,291 --> 00:10:54,408
They broke about 50 laws, Knope.
277
00:10:54,442 --> 00:10:57,078
And that girl, she tried to get
that gimp dog to bite me.
278
00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:00,447
Look, I could sit here
and fill out all the paperwork,
279
00:11:00,466 --> 00:11:02,950
but you and I both know that
you'd rather go home to Debra,
280
00:11:02,985 --> 00:11:05,619
have a nice home-cooked meal,
and do what comes naturally.
281
00:11:05,637 --> 00:11:06,921
That's not appropriate.
282
00:11:06,955 --> 00:11:09,090
You know that I'm gonna
pay all the fines.
283
00:11:09,124 --> 00:11:13,344
I'm in the middle of a campaign
rally, and this is my team.
284
00:11:13,395 --> 00:11:15,346
- I need them, please.
- Fine.
285
00:11:15,397 --> 00:11:17,198
But unless one of you
has a commercial license,
286
00:11:17,232 --> 00:11:20,134
you can't take that truck.
287
00:11:20,169 --> 00:11:23,020
It would just mean so much to us.
288
00:11:23,071 --> 00:11:25,106
I mean, you're a living legend.
289
00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:28,209
They still air that game every
Friday night on cable access.
290
00:11:28,243 --> 00:11:29,544
Yeah, well, being a living legend is
291
00:11:29,578 --> 00:11:30,995
sort of a double-edged sword.
292
00:11:31,029 --> 00:11:32,880
Everybody in this town
still calls me "Pistol."
293
00:11:32,915 --> 00:11:35,867
Tell me more about that, Peter.
294
00:11:35,918 --> 00:11:39,203
I mean, yes, that dunk,
it made me famous,
295
00:11:39,254 --> 00:11:42,623
but sometimes...
296
00:11:42,657 --> 00:11:46,594
Sometimes life dunks you.
297
00:11:46,628 --> 00:11:48,662
Hey, man, you want to go for a jog?
298
00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,464
Just, sort of, kick out the cobwebs,
299
00:11:50,498 --> 00:11:52,350
get some endorphins going?
300
00:11:52,384 --> 00:11:54,018
Oh, no, thanks, Chris.
301
00:11:54,052 --> 00:11:56,070
Kind of tearing this Claymation video
302
00:11:56,104 --> 00:11:57,838
a new one right now.
303
00:11:57,873 --> 00:11:59,473
You know, Ben, I really think
304
00:11:59,507 --> 00:12:00,892
you need to take a step back here.
305
00:12:00,943 --> 00:12:02,843
I think getting some
perspective would be good.
306
00:12:02,861 --> 00:12:04,378
What are you talking about?
307
00:12:04,413 --> 00:12:05,780
I've known you a long time.
308
00:12:05,814 --> 00:12:10,184
And, right now, you need help.
309
00:12:10,219 --> 00:12:13,020
- With my Claymaish?
- With your life.
310
00:12:13,038 --> 00:12:17,291
You are wildly, insanely depressed.
311
00:12:17,326 --> 00:12:18,726
Depressed?
312
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:20,461
I'm the furthest thing from depressed.
313
00:12:20,495 --> 00:12:22,363
I mean, look at what
I've accomplished.
314
00:12:22,381 --> 00:12:24,248
Do you see him?
315
00:12:24,299 --> 00:12:26,250
Do you think a depressed
person could make this?
316
00:12:26,301 --> 00:12:29,754
No.
317
00:12:29,805 --> 00:12:32,039
- That's all we can fit in here.
- No problem.
318
00:12:32,057 --> 00:12:33,975
This is going to be fine.
We're all going to be fine,
319
00:12:34,009 --> 00:12:35,376
because the team is still together,
320
00:12:35,394 --> 00:12:37,144
and there's nothing the team can't do.
321
00:12:37,179 --> 00:12:40,481
Wait, I think Champion
has to go to the bathroom.
322
00:12:40,515 --> 00:12:44,085
- Oh! He shall do it in the car!
- Answer your phone, Ann.
323
00:12:44,119 --> 00:12:45,586
That's what life is like
324
00:12:45,621 --> 00:12:47,755
in a strict Roman Catholic household.
325
00:12:47,789 --> 00:12:49,357
Of course, my father,
326
00:12:49,391 --> 00:12:50,441
he was more stick than carrot
327
00:12:50,492 --> 00:12:52,159
when it came to matters of discipline.
328
00:12:52,194 --> 00:12:55,363
I'm sorry, but the Ben Wyatt
that I know,
329
00:12:55,397 --> 00:12:57,965
I just don't think he'd be
happy sitting here
330
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,584
faffing around.
331
00:12:59,618 --> 00:13:00,918
I'm not faffing around.
332
00:13:00,953 --> 00:13:02,753
I've sunk myself into my hobbies.
333
00:13:02,788 --> 00:13:06,340
Here, I'll show you my
Claymation project, okay?
334
00:13:06,375 --> 00:13:08,476
Now, I've been working
pretty hard on this,
335
00:13:08,510 --> 00:13:11,178
and...I think
it's really good.
336
00:13:11,213 --> 00:13:13,514
So just hang on to your hat, okay?
337
00:13:13,548 --> 00:13:15,433
Here it goes.
338
00:13:17,436 --> 00:13:19,086
Oh, how great.
339
00:13:24,293 --> 00:13:26,627
♪ Stand in the place
where you-- ♪
340
00:13:30,299 --> 00:13:34,535
- Did you pause it?
- No, I--hang on.
341
00:13:36,571 --> 00:13:38,906
♪ Stand in the place
where you-- ♪
342
00:13:44,346 --> 00:13:48,215
Oh, my God.
That's the whole thing.
343
00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:50,685
- That's three weeks of work.
- You're gonna be okay.
344
00:13:50,719 --> 00:13:54,255
No, no, no, no, I'm not.
You see, in my head,
345
00:13:54,289 --> 00:13:56,891
I thought that was really,
really cool.
346
00:13:56,925 --> 00:13:59,493
I emailed Leslie two days ago
347
00:13:59,528 --> 00:14:01,696
and I compared it to Avatar,
348
00:14:01,730 --> 00:14:04,098
Chris, and how can it not be longer?
349
00:14:04,132 --> 00:14:06,901
Okay, look, what you're
feeling, right now
350
00:14:06,935 --> 00:14:09,570
is regret and shame.
351
00:14:11,740 --> 00:14:13,774
Okay, no word from Ann.
352
00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:15,326
April, I need a status report.
353
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,245
- How's it looking out there?
- Perfect, but just one thing.
354
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,847
It's not a basketball court any more.
355
00:14:19,881 --> 00:14:21,198
It's an ice skating rink.
356
00:14:21,249 --> 00:14:22,750
Wait, what? Why?
What happened?
357
00:14:22,784 --> 00:14:24,919
The stupid guy I called to
book this place didn't tell me
358
00:14:24,953 --> 00:14:26,954
they took off the basketball
floor for a hockey game.
359
00:14:26,988 --> 00:14:29,290
Or maybe he did tell me,
but he was so stupid and boring
360
00:14:29,324 --> 00:14:30,508
that I wasn't listening,
361
00:14:30,542 --> 00:14:31,659
and either way, it was his fault,
362
00:14:31,693 --> 00:14:33,461
because he was stupid and I hated him.
363
00:14:33,495 --> 00:14:34,895
Ron, how's the stage coming?
364
00:14:34,930 --> 00:14:38,632
Well, since we had to
jettison the bulk of the wood,
365
00:14:38,666 --> 00:14:39,934
this is the biggest I could make it.
366
00:14:39,968 --> 00:14:41,502
Oh, my God.
367
00:14:41,536 --> 00:14:44,638
Good lord, what happened
to the rest of my face?
368
00:14:44,672 --> 00:14:46,340
We had to "Jetsons"
most of the poster too,
369
00:14:46,358 --> 00:14:47,558
but I kind of like it,
370
00:14:47,609 --> 00:14:51,112
'cause windows
are the eyes to the house.
371
00:14:51,146 --> 00:14:52,780
Wow.
372
00:14:52,814 --> 00:14:55,649
- Okay, I got Pistol Pete.
- Good, where is he?
373
00:14:55,683 --> 00:14:57,651
Right now, he's curled up
in the back seat of my car,
374
00:14:57,685 --> 00:15:00,588
talking about his father,
who is a piece of work.
375
00:15:00,622 --> 00:15:02,623
I actually think he did the best
he could for a single father,
376
00:15:02,657 --> 00:15:04,325
but I may be too close
to the situation.
377
00:15:04,359 --> 00:15:06,077
Anyway, the important news
is that he's here.
378
00:15:06,128 --> 00:15:07,628
Good. Is he going to
dunk for me?
379
00:15:07,662 --> 00:15:09,997
I'm not sure, I couldn't
hear through all the crying.
380
00:15:10,031 --> 00:15:11,698
- He's crying?
- No, I was crying.
381
00:15:11,717 --> 00:15:12,967
It's been a stressful day,
382
00:15:13,001 --> 00:15:14,168
and he's had a really rough life.
383
00:15:14,202 --> 00:15:15,603
Oh, my God.
384
00:15:15,637 --> 00:15:16,837
We should cancel it, right?
Maybe we should cancel it?
385
00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:18,072
- Yeah.
- Jerry...
386
00:15:18,106 --> 00:15:19,590
You were in charge of getting a crowd.
387
00:15:19,641 --> 00:15:21,175
Please tell me that you pulled
a Jerry, and no one's here.
388
00:15:21,209 --> 00:15:22,510
Okay, well, first of all,
389
00:15:22,544 --> 00:15:23,978
I don't like it when you guys
use that term.
390
00:15:24,012 --> 00:15:26,180
But for the record, I came through.
391
00:15:26,214 --> 00:15:28,549
There are almost
a hundred people out there!
392
00:15:28,567 --> 00:15:31,435
Oh, damn it, Jerry, you just
had to do your job, didn't you?
393
00:15:31,486 --> 00:15:33,387
Yeah, can't you do anything
wrong, Jerry?
394
00:15:33,422 --> 00:15:35,389
I've been looking
at our utter and complete lack
395
00:15:35,407 --> 00:15:37,742
of experience as a positive thing,
396
00:15:37,776 --> 00:15:39,243
but I'm starting to think
397
00:15:39,277 --> 00:15:41,061
it actually might be a problem.
398
00:15:44,423 --> 00:15:45,794
Okay, guys, everybody listen up.
399
00:15:45,914 --> 00:15:47,590
I just wanted to say thank you.
400
00:15:47,710 --> 00:15:50,238
You've all volunteered
your time and, no matter what,
401
00:15:50,272 --> 00:15:52,073
I am eternally grateful for it.
402
00:15:52,107 --> 00:15:53,241
Now, I'm going to go out there,
403
00:15:53,275 --> 00:15:55,076
and I'm going to
announce the relaunch,
404
00:15:55,110 --> 00:15:57,678
and I'm going to muddle through
this thing as best I can.
405
00:15:57,713 --> 00:15:59,880
You should all leave,
and when this thing is over,
406
00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:01,215
I'll meet you at the nearest bar.
407
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:03,184
That would be Hurley's.
408
00:16:03,218 --> 00:16:04,535
- Oh, it's karaoke tonight!
- Yes!
409
00:16:04,570 --> 00:16:07,939
No, no, no, guys.
No. We're not leaving, okay?
410
00:16:07,973 --> 00:16:09,490
We're the reason
Leslie's in this mess.
411
00:16:09,524 --> 00:16:12,393
It's our mess.
We're going to stay here
412
00:16:12,427 --> 00:16:14,512
and we're going to
go out there as a team.
413
00:16:14,563 --> 00:16:19,317
Or, we go as a team to Hurley's.
414
00:16:19,351 --> 00:16:21,102
No, Ann's right.
415
00:16:21,136 --> 00:16:24,372
We're a team.
We're all going out together.
416
00:16:24,406 --> 00:16:25,539
Let's give this crowd a show.
417
00:16:25,574 --> 00:16:28,159
Go, team!
418
00:16:32,247 --> 00:16:35,983
♪ Get up and make it happen ♪
419
00:16:36,001 --> 00:16:38,319
♪ get on your feet ♪
420
00:16:39,338 --> 00:16:40,855
Tom?
421
00:16:40,889 --> 00:16:42,340
Couldn't afford enough premium carpet
422
00:16:42,374 --> 00:16:43,824
to get us to the stage.
423
00:16:43,842 --> 00:16:44,959
I mean, it was a short walk,
424
00:16:44,993 --> 00:16:46,627
but it was pretty luxurious, right?
425
00:16:46,661 --> 00:16:48,662
Okay.
426
00:16:55,053 --> 00:16:56,387
Everybody smile and wave.
427
00:16:59,891 --> 00:17:04,278
♪ Get up and make it happen ♪
428
00:17:04,313 --> 00:17:06,514
♪ get on your feet ♪
429
00:17:07,783 --> 00:17:10,318
Stop leaning on my arm, Andy.
430
00:17:14,289 --> 00:17:15,823
I'm holding the dog.
431
00:17:15,857 --> 00:17:17,908
He is peeing.
He is now peeing.
432
00:17:17,959 --> 00:17:19,693
I am putting him down.
433
00:17:19,711 --> 00:17:21,462
No, Ron, he only has three legs!
434
00:17:22,864 --> 00:17:25,433
- Get off me!
- No, I'm scared!
435
00:17:25,467 --> 00:17:27,301
♪ Get up and make it happen ♪
436
00:17:27,336 --> 00:17:29,904
Ron? Ron?
There's no stairs.
437
00:17:29,938 --> 00:17:31,538
How do I get onto the stage?
438
00:17:32,974 --> 00:17:34,408
Oh!
439
00:17:34,443 --> 00:17:36,711
♪ And take some action ♪
440
00:17:44,069 --> 00:17:46,570
♪ Get on your feet ♪
441
00:17:48,423 --> 00:17:51,592
♪ get up and make it happen ♪
442
00:17:51,626 --> 00:17:53,828
♪ get on your feet ♪
443
00:17:53,862 --> 00:17:56,430
Okay.
444
00:17:56,465 --> 00:18:00,000
Uhh! Uhh!
445
00:18:00,035 --> 00:18:01,001
Uhh!
446
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:03,437
♪ Get on your feet ♪
447
00:18:03,472 --> 00:18:07,208
Mm-mm.
Here you go. Drink up,
448
00:18:07,242 --> 00:18:10,077
because it has every herb
in my herb belt.
449
00:18:10,095 --> 00:18:12,513
Oh. Tastes like a belt.
450
00:18:12,547 --> 00:18:15,716
I know, isn't it awful?
But it works wonderfully.
451
00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:17,301
So, tell me.
452
00:18:17,352 --> 00:18:19,987
Do you admit that you're depressed?
453
00:18:20,021 --> 00:18:21,956
How did you know?
I didn't even know.
454
00:18:21,990 --> 00:18:24,191
The Letters to Cleo t-shirt,
the unshaven face,
455
00:18:24,226 --> 00:18:27,094
the Doc Martins, and your hair
does not have that normal,
456
00:18:27,112 --> 00:18:30,931
uptight, rigid, inflexible
Ben Wyatt sense of fun.
457
00:18:30,949 --> 00:18:34,468
You can't hide
these things from friends.
458
00:18:34,503 --> 00:18:37,171
I think I'm feeling better.
459
00:18:37,205 --> 00:18:39,707
Herbal smoothie,
you have done it again.
460
00:18:39,741 --> 00:18:43,411
As a loyal pawneean, I've
always been proud of this town,
461
00:18:43,445 --> 00:18:45,479
and, I, oh, um, sorry.
462
00:18:45,514 --> 00:18:48,382
My cards got out of order here
when they fell.
463
00:18:48,417 --> 00:18:55,055
Together, we can defeat
obese children.
464
00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:58,175
I'm sure that was something
positive, originally.
465
00:18:58,226 --> 00:19:01,729
I'm sorry, okay, this is
just a disaster, isn't it?
466
00:19:01,763 --> 00:19:06,801
This is the worst political
event ever in history.
467
00:19:06,835 --> 00:19:11,138
Well, um, I can assure
you people in the bleachers
468
00:19:11,173 --> 00:19:14,241
that, if you follow my campaign,
it will be interesting.
469
00:19:14,276 --> 00:19:15,860
It sure will be!
470
00:19:15,911 --> 00:19:17,445
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Pistol Pete,
471
00:19:17,479 --> 00:19:19,813
and around here, I'm a Pawnee legend!
472
00:19:22,534 --> 00:19:25,669
I just wanted to say that
I fully endorse Leslie Knope.
473
00:19:25,704 --> 00:19:27,654
She's got a great team behind her,
474
00:19:27,672 --> 00:19:30,858
and a vote for her is a slam dunk.
475
00:19:33,178 --> 00:19:34,728
Thanks, Pistol Pete!
476
00:19:34,763 --> 00:19:37,264
Wow, we're so happy to have you.
477
00:19:37,299 --> 00:19:39,934
Oh, hey. There he goes.
478
00:19:39,968 --> 00:19:40,935
Come on, Pete!
479
00:19:40,969 --> 00:19:42,353
Oh!
480
00:19:42,387 --> 00:19:45,055
Okay, stay still.
Stay down.
481
00:19:45,106 --> 00:19:48,542
Pistol Pete, everybody.
Still got it.
482
00:19:50,228 --> 00:19:54,014
- Hey.
- Hey, how was the rally?
483
00:19:54,049 --> 00:19:55,916
- Oh, we nailed it!
- No, we didn't.
484
00:19:55,951 --> 00:19:58,586
Ben, my campaign manager
and I have made a decision.
485
00:19:58,620 --> 00:20:01,689
We've decided to fire
the campaign manager--me.
486
00:20:01,723 --> 00:20:05,392
- And hire you.
- But we've talked about this.
487
00:20:05,427 --> 00:20:07,828
I don't care if you're
poison to my campaign.
488
00:20:07,863 --> 00:20:11,532
This team has a lot of heart
and zero know-how.
489
00:20:11,566 --> 00:20:13,300
You're the only one that can save us.
490
00:20:13,335 --> 00:20:16,136
Please be my campaign manager.
491
00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:18,572
You know, Leslie, Ben's really
been going through something,
492
00:20:18,607 --> 00:20:21,575
and he's on a journey, so I
don't think he's gonna be--
493
00:20:21,610 --> 00:20:23,244
I'll do it. I'm in.
494
00:20:23,278 --> 00:20:25,813
I've done enough exploring.
I'm good.
495
00:20:25,847 --> 00:20:27,214
- Okay, great.
- Ann, you're fired.
496
00:20:27,232 --> 00:20:29,883
Oh, thank God.
497
00:20:29,901 --> 00:20:33,164
No, don't make out.
It's making Champion sad.
498
00:20:34,928 --> 00:20:41,667
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
499
00:20:41,787 --> 00:20:43,920
Surprise!
500
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,296
We felt really bad about
the whole dredging up your past
501
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:49,632
just to be publically
humiliated thing.
502
00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:52,635
- So, cookies.
- And balloons.
503
00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:55,704
Thanks, guys. It--
that's nice.
504
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:56,972
We feel so bad.
505
00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:59,441
Is there anything else we can do?
506
00:20:59,476 --> 00:21:01,076
You could let me take you to dinner.
507
00:21:01,111 --> 00:21:02,945
Yes, Ann, yes.
You should do that.
508
00:21:02,979 --> 00:21:04,980
Oh, I can't, though,
because I'm married.
509
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:07,600
You're not married.
She's not married.
510
00:21:09,819 --> 00:21:11,820
This is uncomfortable.