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Ladies and gentlemen,
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the next city councilor
for the great city of Pawnee
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Bobby Newport.
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Hey.
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Thanks, guy.
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Hey, all right.
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Hi, I'm Bobby Newport.
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You know, we're two days
into this campaign,
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and so far it's going great.
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In fact, I don't know why
they call it a "cam-pain."
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Because up until now
it's been a "cam-pleasure."
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All right, hey, why don't
we line up for autographs
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and free Bobby bars.
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Huh?
Who wants a Bobby bar?
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Bobby Newport, heir to
the sweetums candy fortune.
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My dad made 'em.
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He just entered the race,
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and he's already
70 points up in all the polls.
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He is attractive
and charming.
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And his family employs
half the town,
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but so what?
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I am a lifelong
government bureaucrat
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who's well-versed
in the issues.
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And those are the kind
of sexy qualifications
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that win elections.
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How's it going?
I'm Bobby Newport.
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But you probably
knew that already.
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Well, Mr. Newport,
we meet at last.
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I'm Leslie Knope.
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Ah, okeydoke.
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So do you want me to sign that
to miss lope or just Nesney?
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What? No.
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Leslie's fine.
Leslie?
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Yeah, miss Knope is
a candidate for city council.
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Been calling your office
trying to set up a debate.
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Oh, no,
you guys are wrong.
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I'm running unopposed.
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I'm pretty sure
I'm running unopposed, right?
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No, you're not running
unopposed.
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You've very opposed by me.
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Oh, terrific.
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We just told you.
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We're gonna be running
for city council.
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Great.
Here, have a Bobby bar.
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Go ahead,
my dad made 'em.
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Okay, folks.
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Hey, I'm Bobby Newport.
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I think we scared him.
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Here, have a Bobby bar.
My dad made 'em.
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♪
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Hey, Ann,
are you still a nurse
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or did they fire you because
you slept with all the doctors?
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You wanna try that again?
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Hey, Ann,
are you still a nurse?
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Because Andy's not
feeling well.
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What's wrong, Andy?
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Just got a headache.
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And I'm seeing double.
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And I got a song
stuck in my head,
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and my teeth hurt.
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Also I'm hungry.
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Okay, well, some of
those things are symptoms
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and some of them
are just being a person.
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Did you hit your head?
No.
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Oh, yes, technically
I did smash my head area
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into the wall area.
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Yeah, he was hanging up
his gold record.
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Oh, my God,
are you okay?
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Yeah, I'm good.
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Point is,
I have a gold record.
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Well, I can help you
with cuts and bruises
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but the other stuff you're gonna
have to see a real doctor.
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Hey, smart ass,
we can't afford it.
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Hey, smart ass,
yes, you can.
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You have insurance.
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Neither of your asses
are that smart
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because insurance is for
if something bad happens
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to your car.
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P.S. I haven't had it
in years.
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Oh, my God,
we used to live together.
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Yeah, you still
got it for me.
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I'm Bobby Newport.
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My family owns nine square
Miles of land in this town.
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And isn't my family what this
town's really about?
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Vote Bobby Newport
for city council.
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That guy is everywhere.
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I am not complaining.
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Well, we have to find
a way to beat him.
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And luckily Ben
is going to announce
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the most amazing campaign
strategy ever thought of
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in the entire history
of western democracy.
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Go, Ben,
here's your great idea.
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We're all ready for it.
And start.
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I'm running for office.
I'm surrounded by my friends.
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My campaign manager and I
are in love.
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This is exactly
how I dreamed it would be
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when I was a kid.
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Except I wasn't
70 points behind
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and my campaign manager
was Mr. belvedere.
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We are David.
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Newport is goliath.
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This is our slingshot.
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- Yes, we'll write
an inspiring op-ed piece.
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- No, the Pawnee-eagleton
high school basketball game.
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Now, in this town it's bigger
than the super bowl.
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We take all our money, we air
a TV ad right at halftime.
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00:04:04,713 --> 00:04:07,748
And I think we should make
an attack ad
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against Bobby Newport.
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- Oh!
- That is a great idea!
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- Thank you.
- Excellent.
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- Yay, it's a good idea.
- All right, great.
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So let's get to work.
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Ron Swanson.
How are you?
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Present.
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I have a meeting
at public works,
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and I was thinking that maybe
you might wanna sit in.
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Why would you think that?
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They are working on
a number of fascinating,
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big-budget projects...
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I'm very busy here.
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That I am being forced
to brutally cut entirely.
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I can make room
in my schedule.
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Wonderful.
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As you know, I'm not a big fan
of delivering bad news.
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Chris, it would be
my absolute pleasure.
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Have you considered cutting
the entire fire department?
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I've personally put out
several local fires
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at no cost
to the taxpayer.
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Look to the left.
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The right.
Whatever.
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Are you
the kind of doctor
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who gets hooked
on his own drugs?
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I bet you are.
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So, Andy,
tell me what happened.
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I was reading
an encyclopedia,
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and I tripped
or "fell over"
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and hit my head
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or brain helmet.
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Yeah, he sneezed and smacked
his head against the wall.
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That sounds about right.
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Well, if it's a concussion
it's extremely mild,
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so I wouldn't worry about it.
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Anything else bothering you?
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- Nope.
- Okay.
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Well, I mean, yeah,
I've got a weird rash
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in my knee pit area.
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And my tongue,
on this side,
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doesn't taste
anything anymore.
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Sometimes when I walk
my ankles make, like,
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a weird rattlesnake sound.
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What else?
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Things that are far away
from my eyes are fuzzy.
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I once at a twix
with the wrapper on it,
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and I've never seen
the wrapper come out.
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Also I've swallowed
every piece of gum
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that I've chewed
for the past 25 years.
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- Andy!
- I don't know.
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I broke my thumb
on the way over here.
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Just fix me.
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Well, I can help you
with the thumb.
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And I'll have to give you
referrals for specialists
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for the other thousand things.
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Wow, thanks for nothing,
Dr. Harris.
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You're welcome.
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Hey, I'm Bobby Newport.
I'm a regular guy.
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I like dogs.
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I'm here with my persian
greyhound raclette,
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who was given to me
by my buddy,
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the pretender to the crown
of alsace-Lorraine.
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Vote Bobby Newport
for city council.
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Hey, um,
between you and me,
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I think that Donna is having
a problem with going negative
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in the ad.
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- Nah-uh,
I always go negative.
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Even if I like the guy
I go negative.
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Keeps 'em interested.
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Thanks, Donna.
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Well, I didn't want
to tell you this,
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but Ann is having
a hard time with it.
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She's kind of freaking out
right now.
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Oh, my God,
this magic marker
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smells like cherries.
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Hey, here's a question,
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do you like the idea?
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It's... who...
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Do you like it?
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Look, you have a vision
of how your campaign should go.
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I am your chief strategist,
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so I'm sure
we can work it out.
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Why don't you just tell me
what you're thinking.
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I hate negative ads,
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00:06:50,145 --> 00:06:51,746
and I would never do one
in a million years.
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Thank you, John,
for coming in.
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The public works department
is wonderful,
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and you are the best idea man
in the business.
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We're cancelling all of
your ongoing projects.
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00:07:04,893 --> 00:07:05,926
What?
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00:07:05,961 --> 00:07:07,762
What about
the Pawnee river dam?
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00:07:07,796 --> 00:07:10,030
Dam's dead.
Have a nice day.
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00:07:10,065 --> 00:07:12,133
Where will
all the water go?
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00:07:12,167 --> 00:07:14,285
Wherever it's headed now.
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00:07:14,336 --> 00:07:16,771
The important thing is the dam
is never happening
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00:07:16,805 --> 00:07:20,007
and your dream
has been crushed.
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- We're very sorry.
- I am not.
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00:07:22,427 --> 00:07:25,079
Good meeting.
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00:07:25,113 --> 00:07:27,414
It's not a negative ad.
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00:07:27,432 --> 00:07:28,966
We're stating facts about him,
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00:07:29,017 --> 00:07:30,251
and, yeah,
they happen to be negative
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00:07:30,285 --> 00:07:31,752
because he's a bonehead.
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00:07:31,787 --> 00:07:33,053
Well, I wanted
to run an ad
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00:07:33,087 --> 00:07:34,789
that highlights
the good things about me,
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00:07:34,823 --> 00:07:36,557
not the bad things
about somebody else.
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00:07:36,591 --> 00:07:39,092
Tom, you are our
communications director.
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00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:41,061
Weigh in here.
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00:07:41,095 --> 00:07:43,147
Leslie,
I love your idea.
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00:07:43,198 --> 00:07:46,317
I also love your idea.
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00:07:46,368 --> 00:07:49,487
Two great ideas,
two great people.
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00:07:49,538 --> 00:07:50,988
I don't know
which idea's better,
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00:07:51,039 --> 00:07:54,074
but I do know I'll end up
on the winning side.
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00:07:54,109 --> 00:07:55,376
When I bet on horses,
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00:07:55,410 --> 00:07:56,577
I never lose.
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00:07:56,611 --> 00:07:57,878
Why?
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00:07:57,913 --> 00:08:00,614
I bet on all the horses.
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00:08:00,649 --> 00:08:02,483
How 'bout we do this,
we split up into teams,
225
00:08:02,517 --> 00:08:04,835
we each make a demo version
of our ad.
226
00:08:04,886 --> 00:08:07,120
Whichever one we like better
we use.
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00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:08,839
Great idea!
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00:08:08,890 --> 00:08:10,341
As long as Leslie
thinks so as well.
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00:08:10,392 --> 00:08:12,960
Sure, I'll pick Ann
and Donna for my team.
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00:08:12,978 --> 00:08:14,795
You can take Jerry.
What?
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00:08:14,830 --> 00:08:16,463
Well, you wanted
to go negative.
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00:08:16,498 --> 00:08:19,149
You got the biggest negative
in the world, buddy.
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00:08:21,736 --> 00:08:22,736
Okay everybody
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00:08:22,737 --> 00:08:23,937
I need big smiles from you
235
00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:25,539
We're making
a positive ad here.
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00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:28,609
So just think of this
as Christmas and your birthday
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00:08:28,643 --> 00:08:30,477
and the first day of school
all rolled up into one.
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00:08:30,512 --> 00:08:32,696
Positive is always
better than negative.
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00:08:32,747 --> 00:08:34,281
Barack Obama said,
"yes we can,"
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00:08:34,316 --> 00:08:35,532
and now he's president.
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00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:36,850
Ben says,
"no we shouldn't,"
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00:08:36,885 --> 00:08:39,119
and now he's working
for his girlfriend.
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00:08:39,154 --> 00:08:40,704
Guys, I need
double the smiles, okay?
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00:08:40,755 --> 00:08:43,540
Let's take it back again.
And action.
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00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:46,377
And this is going great.
We're really positive.
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00:08:46,428 --> 00:08:48,962
I think we're getting
good stuff, right?
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00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:51,832
What's it?
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00:08:51,866 --> 00:08:53,334
Oh, come on.
249
00:08:53,368 --> 00:08:56,220
Leslie, I think Bobby
Newport's bus was in that shot.
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00:08:56,271 --> 00:08:57,221
Do you think?
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00:08:57,272 --> 00:09:01,375
E, h, 4, m.
252
00:09:01,409 --> 00:09:03,027
Potato shape.
253
00:09:03,061 --> 00:09:05,212
Coffee mug shape.
254
00:09:05,246 --> 00:09:07,731
Smudge, smudge,
middle finger, smudge.
255
00:09:07,782 --> 00:09:09,400
The rest are all smudges.
256
00:09:09,451 --> 00:09:11,285
Oh, my God,
you drove us here.
257
00:09:11,319 --> 00:09:13,487
We made, like, 100 million
doctors' appointments
258
00:09:13,521 --> 00:09:15,021
for ourselves in one week.
259
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,041
After this we won't
have to go to the doctor
260
00:09:17,075 --> 00:09:18,659
for, like, ten years,
261
00:09:18,693 --> 00:09:21,545
because we're smart.
262
00:09:21,579 --> 00:09:23,163
Well, you definitely
need glasses.
263
00:09:23,198 --> 00:09:24,431
No, he's not
getting glasses.
264
00:09:24,466 --> 00:09:25,766
I like his face
the way it is.
265
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,301
If you get glasses,
I'll divorce you.
266
00:09:27,335 --> 00:09:28,836
Well, you heard her, doc.
267
00:09:28,870 --> 00:09:31,555
Too handsome for glasses,
no offense.
268
00:09:31,589 --> 00:09:34,541
I gotta admit,
his hair game's on point.
269
00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:35,876
Gotta find out
what kind of product
270
00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:37,378
he puts up in his "herr."
271
00:09:37,412 --> 00:09:39,430
Hey, how's
Leslie's ad going?
272
00:09:39,481 --> 00:09:40,614
It's very good.
273
00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:44,284
But yours is also very good.
274
00:09:44,319 --> 00:09:45,569
- You ready for
the voice-over?
275
00:09:45,603 --> 00:09:46,720
Yeah.
276
00:09:46,738 --> 00:09:50,824
Bobby Newport's never
had a real job
277
00:09:50,859 --> 00:09:52,726
in his life.
278
00:09:52,744 --> 00:09:53,894
You gotta give it
more attitude.
279
00:09:53,928 --> 00:09:55,562
It's gotta scare people.
280
00:09:55,597 --> 00:09:57,197
Bobby Newport...
281
00:09:57,232 --> 00:09:59,967
Yeah, okay.
All right.
282
00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:02,586
Bobby Newport's never had
283
00:10:02,620 --> 00:10:05,873
a real job in his life.
284
00:10:05,907 --> 00:10:07,875
- Bobby Newport's never had
285
00:10:07,909 --> 00:10:09,943
a real job in his life.
286
00:10:09,978 --> 00:10:11,545
Bobby Newport.
287
00:10:11,579 --> 00:10:12,746
Bobby Newport.
288
00:10:12,781 --> 00:10:14,348
Bobby Newport.
289
00:10:14,382 --> 00:10:15,883
Bobby Newport.
290
00:10:15,917 --> 00:10:17,751
Bobby Newport.
291
00:10:17,786 --> 00:10:18,752
Bobby Newport.
292
00:10:18,787 --> 00:10:20,954
- Bobby.
- Bobby.
293
00:10:20,989 --> 00:10:21,939
Bobby.
294
00:10:21,973 --> 00:10:23,273
Newport.
295
00:10:23,308 --> 00:10:25,943
All right, now we're just
wasting time, Jerry.
296
00:10:25,977 --> 00:10:27,478
Ron Swanson!
297
00:10:27,529 --> 00:10:29,797
I want to thank you for being
so ruthless and cruel
298
00:10:29,831 --> 00:10:30,948
in the meeting
the other day.
299
00:10:30,982 --> 00:10:32,766
You'll have to be
more specific.
300
00:10:32,801 --> 00:10:34,668
With the public works
department about the dam.
301
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:35,769
Ah.
302
00:10:35,804 --> 00:10:36,987
What do you say
I take you to lunch
303
00:10:37,038 --> 00:10:38,405
and then we can talk
about all the projects
304
00:10:38,439 --> 00:10:39,573
that you want
to get accomplished.
305
00:10:39,607 --> 00:10:40,874
That won't be necessary.
306
00:10:40,909 --> 00:10:42,242
I don't have any projects.
307
00:10:42,277 --> 00:10:43,577
I hate projects.
308
00:10:48,249 --> 00:10:50,617
What a pill.
We should order.
309
00:10:50,652 --> 00:10:52,820
And then we can talk shop.
What are you gonna have?
310
00:10:52,854 --> 00:10:57,641
I'm thinking something
raw and cucumber-based.
311
00:10:57,675 --> 00:10:58,675
A cucumber.
312
00:10:58,726 --> 00:10:59,927
I don't know what happened.
313
00:10:59,961 --> 00:11:01,728
I declined
his invitation.
314
00:11:01,763 --> 00:11:03,130
He started laughing.
315
00:11:03,164 --> 00:11:06,200
And the next thing I knew,
we were at lunch.
316
00:11:06,234 --> 00:11:08,152
Did he drug me?
317
00:11:08,186 --> 00:11:09,670
Hi, I'm Bobby Newport.
318
00:11:09,704 --> 00:11:12,806
My dad is friends
with John cougar mellencamp.
319
00:11:12,841 --> 00:11:14,308
That's pretty cool.
320
00:11:14,342 --> 00:11:15,609
What is this guy
running for,
321
00:11:15,643 --> 00:11:17,494
president of being on every
channel all the time?
322
00:11:17,529 --> 00:11:19,363
Reminder, Leslie,
we have less than an hour
323
00:11:19,414 --> 00:11:20,998
to get the ad
to the station.
324
00:11:21,032 --> 00:11:22,482
Ann, you're beautiful
and you're organized.
325
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:24,284
So in order
not to bias anyone,
326
00:11:24,318 --> 00:11:26,170
these are the two ads
that Ben and I made.
327
00:11:26,204 --> 00:11:27,421
I'm just gonna
pick one randomly,
328
00:11:27,455 --> 00:11:28,922
and we'll play
that one first.
329
00:11:28,957 --> 00:11:30,257
Oh, yay,
the awesome one.
330
00:11:31,993 --> 00:11:33,460
Hi, I'm Leslie Knope.
331
00:11:33,494 --> 00:11:35,679
I'm pro-parks,
pro-public safety,
332
00:11:35,713 --> 00:11:37,347
and I'm pro-clean water.
333
00:11:37,382 --> 00:11:39,433
I'm also pro-environmental
regulation,
334
00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:42,269
and I'm very,
very pro-local propositions
335
00:11:42,303 --> 00:11:44,505
45, 86, and 102f.
336
00:11:44,539 --> 00:11:47,307
But most of all,
I'm pro-Pawnee.
337
00:11:47,341 --> 00:11:49,843
Here are some other things
that I'm pro.
338
00:12:01,072 --> 00:12:02,489
As you can see,
339
00:12:02,523 --> 00:12:04,041
I'm in favor
of a lot of things,
340
00:12:04,075 --> 00:12:05,375
like hot dogs.
341
00:12:05,410 --> 00:12:06,960
Right, Charlie?
342
00:12:06,995 --> 00:12:08,395
I'm Leslie Knope,
343
00:12:08,429 --> 00:12:09,830
and I approve
this message.
344
00:12:09,864 --> 00:12:11,882
Yes.
I love it.
345
00:12:11,916 --> 00:12:13,533
Fantastic.
346
00:12:13,551 --> 00:12:15,435
Do we even want
to screen yours?
347
00:12:15,470 --> 00:12:17,037
Uh, yeah,
that was awful.
348
00:12:17,071 --> 00:12:18,105
What do you mean?
349
00:12:18,139 --> 00:12:19,223
Name one thing
that was wrong with it.
350
00:12:19,257 --> 00:12:20,874
Okay, you never
even mentioned
351
00:12:20,909 --> 00:12:22,376
you were running
for office.
352
00:12:22,410 --> 00:12:25,512
You literally never said
the words "city council."
353
00:12:25,547 --> 00:12:28,181
I did... it's implied.
354
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:30,050
I didn't... we can just
put it in.
355
00:12:30,068 --> 00:12:31,101
Okay.
356
00:12:31,152 --> 00:12:34,271
Leslie is so good
at so many things
357
00:12:34,322 --> 00:12:36,690
and so bad at that.
358
00:12:36,724 --> 00:12:41,945
Bobby Newport's been handed
everything on a silver platter.
359
00:12:41,996 --> 00:12:45,032
His cushy job at his dad's
candy company,
360
00:12:45,066 --> 00:12:47,067
handed to him.
361
00:12:47,101 --> 00:12:50,037
His 60-foot boat,
Bobby's boat,
362
00:12:50,071 --> 00:12:53,874
handed to him
when he was 12.
363
00:12:53,908 --> 00:12:55,842
Leslie Knope is running
for city council too,
364
00:12:55,877 --> 00:12:58,378
and she's earned everything
she's ever gotten.
365
00:12:58,413 --> 00:12:59,913
She has.
366
00:12:59,931 --> 00:13:01,848
Bobby Newport wants you
to just hand him
367
00:13:01,883 --> 00:13:03,416
this election.
368
00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:04,418
Don't.
369
00:13:04,452 --> 00:13:05,919
I won't.
370
00:13:05,954 --> 00:13:07,104
- Yes.
- Yes, yes.
371
00:13:07,138 --> 00:13:08,105
I love it.
372
00:13:08,139 --> 00:13:10,290
Now, people,
this is an ad.
373
00:13:10,325 --> 00:13:12,926
It's succinct, it's punchy.
It's mean.
374
00:13:12,944 --> 00:13:15,479
It's depressing.
It's awful.
375
00:13:15,530 --> 00:13:18,799
"I am Ben Wyatt, and I want
to destroy Leslie's dreams."
376
00:13:19,984 --> 00:13:21,768
Okay, if you're allergic
to any food,
377
00:13:21,803 --> 00:13:23,203
we'll know
in a few days.
378
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:24,621
I think
based on the redness
379
00:13:24,656 --> 00:13:27,407
I might be allergic
to getting stabbed by needles.
380
00:13:27,441 --> 00:13:28,959
We have already been to, like,
five different doctors.
381
00:13:28,993 --> 00:13:31,712
I got my ankles microwaved.
- X-rayed.
382
00:13:31,746 --> 00:13:33,547
They took my blood away
to use for science.
383
00:13:33,581 --> 00:13:34,615
Cholesterol tests.
384
00:13:34,649 --> 00:13:37,117
April had
her sinuses removed?
385
00:13:37,151 --> 00:13:38,302
Looked at.
386
00:13:38,336 --> 00:13:40,053
Some guy looked
at my wiener, touched it.
387
00:13:40,088 --> 00:13:41,171
That was weird.
388
00:13:41,222 --> 00:13:42,756
And that guy
wasn't even a doctor.
389
00:13:42,790 --> 00:13:44,975
That...
390
00:13:45,009 --> 00:13:46,292
What?
391
00:13:46,311 --> 00:13:48,095
Now I think it is time
for us to take a vote.
392
00:13:48,129 --> 00:13:50,130
So who's in favor
of Ben's ad?
393
00:13:50,164 --> 00:13:51,832
Traitors!
394
00:13:51,866 --> 00:13:54,334
Ann, I painted
your garage pink.
395
00:13:54,369 --> 00:13:56,069
I did not ask you
to do that.
396
00:13:56,104 --> 00:13:58,271
Leslie, look,
I want you to win,
397
00:13:58,306 --> 00:13:59,940
and Ben's ad
is just better.
398
00:13:59,974 --> 00:14:01,608
Our friendship is over.
No, it's not.
399
00:14:01,643 --> 00:14:03,327
It's not over.
It's never over.
400
00:14:03,361 --> 00:14:04,811
Bff.
I love you forever.
401
00:14:04,846 --> 00:14:06,330
You know what, it seems like
we're kind of evenly split.
402
00:14:06,364 --> 00:14:07,531
I think we should
keep debating.
403
00:14:07,582 --> 00:14:09,533
We're not split.
It's unanimous.
404
00:14:09,584 --> 00:14:11,518
- We air my ad.
- But I...
405
00:14:11,552 --> 00:14:14,004
This is just... it's just not
the way I dreamed it would be.
406
00:14:14,038 --> 00:14:16,523
This is
the right call, okay?
407
00:14:16,557 --> 00:14:17,758
I promise.
408
00:14:17,792 --> 00:14:19,292
Okay.
409
00:14:19,327 --> 00:14:21,327
I'm going to air
a negative ad.
410
00:14:21,346 --> 00:14:23,030
It's out of my hands now.
411
00:14:23,064 --> 00:14:25,198
But you know what,
I'm actually feeling
412
00:14:25,233 --> 00:14:28,168
very zen about this.
413
00:14:28,186 --> 00:14:30,003
- Are you are Ben Wyatt?
- Yeah.
414
00:14:30,021 --> 00:14:31,638
Okay, I need that DVD
in the control room.
415
00:14:31,672 --> 00:14:33,874
- Aah!
- Oh, my God.
416
00:14:33,908 --> 00:14:37,010
I am Leslie Knope, and
I do not approve this message.
417
00:14:37,028 --> 00:14:39,780
What are you doing?
What are you...
418
00:14:39,814 --> 00:14:40,814
Ah.
419
00:14:44,390 --> 00:14:45,390
Alright, the good news is,
420
00:14:45,391 --> 00:14:46,858
there's only two pieces
of bad news.
421
00:14:46,892 --> 00:14:48,977
The bad news is,
none of our ads aired
422
00:14:49,011 --> 00:14:50,712
and we cannot get
our money back.
423
00:14:50,746 --> 00:14:51,880
Oh, God.
424
00:14:51,914 --> 00:14:53,147
There was probably
a better way
425
00:14:53,182 --> 00:14:54,649
for you to tell us that.
426
00:14:54,683 --> 00:14:55,817
You both really blew this.
427
00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:58,286
But I can't wait to hear
your new ideas.
428
00:14:58,320 --> 00:14:59,571
I love 'em already.
429
00:14:59,622 --> 00:15:00,989
Ooh, I'm hungry.
430
00:15:01,023 --> 00:15:04,559
Tommy needs a mango.
See ya.
431
00:15:04,593 --> 00:15:06,761
I'm really sorry
I tackled you.
432
00:15:06,795 --> 00:15:09,797
It's just, I'd rather run
the fake campaign ads
433
00:15:09,832 --> 00:15:11,299
that I made
when I was ten
434
00:15:11,333 --> 00:15:13,001
than become negative
and cynical.
435
00:15:13,035 --> 00:15:17,071
Look, I really don't wanna
crush your childhood dreams,
436
00:15:17,106 --> 00:15:18,573
but I bet in your dreams
437
00:15:18,607 --> 00:15:21,376
you weren't losing an election
by 70 points.
438
00:15:21,410 --> 00:15:23,278
You need to get tougher,
Leslie.
439
00:15:23,312 --> 00:15:25,346
You just have to.
440
00:15:25,381 --> 00:15:27,382
You need to get tougher.
441
00:15:27,416 --> 00:15:30,518
You were pretty easy
to take down.
442
00:15:30,552 --> 00:15:31,586
Thanks.
443
00:15:31,620 --> 00:15:34,072
Ron Swanson!
444
00:15:34,106 --> 00:15:35,723
Just the man
I wanted to see.
445
00:15:35,741 --> 00:15:38,276
I'm going to be going
to a seminar
446
00:15:38,327 --> 00:15:41,079
on the art of
the japanese tea ceremony...
447
00:15:41,113 --> 00:15:43,531
Or chakat the Pawnee
community college,
448
00:15:43,566 --> 00:15:45,033
and I thought you might like
to come with me.
449
00:15:45,067 --> 00:15:46,868
Why?
450
00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:48,469
I know how much
you value silence.
451
00:15:48,504 --> 00:15:50,371
A fair point.
452
00:15:50,406 --> 00:15:52,307
But we did just
have lunch last week,
453
00:15:52,341 --> 00:15:54,642
so I feel like we've spent
enough social time together
454
00:15:54,677 --> 00:15:57,745
for the foreseeable...Ever.
455
00:15:57,763 --> 00:15:59,080
All right, well,
if you change your mind,
456
00:15:59,098 --> 00:16:00,465
you know where to find me.
457
00:16:00,516 --> 00:16:02,917
Donna Meagle!
Chris Traeger!
458
00:16:02,935 --> 00:16:05,270
For some godforsaken reason
that man is suddenly determined
459
00:16:05,304 --> 00:16:06,921
to hang on with me.
460
00:16:06,939 --> 00:16:08,423
You mean hang out?
461
00:16:08,457 --> 00:16:10,091
What is wrong with him?
462
00:16:10,109 --> 00:16:11,326
I don't know, he's got you
doing Ben's job,
463
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:12,860
eating lunch with him
like Ben used to.
464
00:16:12,895 --> 00:16:15,396
Maybe he just misses
his little buddy.
465
00:16:17,149 --> 00:16:18,466
Ow.
466
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:20,535
Let's get you home
and get me some ice cream.
467
00:16:20,569 --> 00:16:21,669
Here's your bill.
468
00:16:21,704 --> 00:16:23,488
Whoa, yeah,
won't be needing that.
469
00:16:23,539 --> 00:16:25,139
I've got
the free medicine card.
470
00:16:25,174 --> 00:16:28,309
Uh, there's a $500 deductible
for dental procedures.
471
00:16:28,344 --> 00:16:29,877
Oh, I think you're wrong.
472
00:16:29,912 --> 00:16:32,447
We have the insurance thing.
473
00:16:32,481 --> 00:16:34,515
I believe we're covered.
It's still $500.
474
00:16:34,550 --> 00:16:36,584
Let's see here.
475
00:16:36,619 --> 00:16:39,487
Oh, because,
you know what...
476
00:16:39,521 --> 00:16:41,673
Let's go!
Dine and dash.
477
00:16:41,724 --> 00:16:43,808
Out of the way!
478
00:16:43,842 --> 00:16:46,160
Yeah!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
479
00:16:46,195 --> 00:16:47,395
Ah!
480
00:16:47,429 --> 00:16:49,180
Ah, call an ambulance!
481
00:16:49,231 --> 00:16:52,467
A different ambulance than
the one I ran into.
482
00:16:52,501 --> 00:16:55,870
This is city council
candidate Leslie Knope
483
00:16:55,904 --> 00:16:57,972
when she was ten years old.
484
00:16:57,990 --> 00:16:59,807
Hi, I'm Leslie Knope.
485
00:16:59,842 --> 00:17:01,109
I love Pawnee.
486
00:17:01,143 --> 00:17:03,111
And I want to make it
even better.
487
00:17:03,145 --> 00:17:05,213
Better schools,
safer streets,
488
00:17:05,247 --> 00:17:08,116
and a more progressive tax
on residential properties.
489
00:17:08,150 --> 00:17:12,353
This is city council
candidate Bobby Newport today.
490
00:17:12,388 --> 00:17:13,755
People keep asking me:
491
00:17:13,789 --> 00:17:15,857
Bobby, what are you gonna do
once you get into office?
492
00:17:15,891 --> 00:17:19,427
Um, I'm pretty sure
I'll figure it out.
493
00:17:19,461 --> 00:17:22,714
Leslie Knope had better
ideas when she was ten
494
00:17:22,765 --> 00:17:25,133
than Bobby Newport has now.
495
00:17:25,167 --> 00:17:26,534
They do have
one thing in common.
496
00:17:26,568 --> 00:17:28,502
Both: I like dogs.
497
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,371
For a better Pawnee,
498
00:17:30,406 --> 00:17:32,006
vote Knope for city council.
499
00:17:32,024 --> 00:17:34,308
Well, we already have
a thousand views.
500
00:17:34,343 --> 00:17:36,444
Yeah, but no calls
from reporters,
501
00:17:36,478 --> 00:17:37,695
no interview requests.
502
00:17:37,730 --> 00:17:39,814
I don't care.
I'm proud of it.
503
00:17:39,848 --> 00:17:41,482
You sure?
504
00:17:41,517 --> 00:17:43,584
It is accurate about
my opponent, it does not take...
505
00:17:43,619 --> 00:17:45,519
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hold that thought.
506
00:17:45,537 --> 00:17:48,022
Ron Swanson!
What a pleasant surprise.
507
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,190
And who's this?
508
00:17:49,224 --> 00:17:51,926
This is a great friend
of mine.
509
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,562
He is a fellow
who works in the building
510
00:17:54,596 --> 00:17:57,832
and he is named Dennis.
Kyle.
511
00:17:57,866 --> 00:18:01,035
He strongly enjoys
japanese culture,
512
00:18:01,070 --> 00:18:02,804
and I thought he might
wanna go with you
513
00:18:02,838 --> 00:18:04,605
to the thing.
514
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:05,773
- The tea ceremony.
- Yes.
515
00:18:05,808 --> 00:18:07,091
You're a brother
japanophile?
516
00:18:07,142 --> 00:18:10,478
I was eating rice,
and Ron made me come up here.
517
00:18:10,512 --> 00:18:12,413
But sure,
that sounds fun.
518
00:18:12,448 --> 00:18:13,398
Arigato.
519
00:18:13,432 --> 00:18:16,484
Ron, a moment.
520
00:18:16,518 --> 00:18:19,454
All right, pal, level with me.
What's going on?
521
00:18:19,488 --> 00:18:22,857
Well, you seemed like
you wanted a friend.
522
00:18:22,891 --> 00:18:25,326
No, no, no, no.
523
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:27,328
I'm not lonely.
I have me.
524
00:18:27,362 --> 00:18:29,897
And 4,000 Facebook friends
and a hot girlfriend.
525
00:18:29,932 --> 00:18:32,066
I wanted to spend time
with you,
526
00:18:32,084 --> 00:18:34,535
because I have to replace Ben
as assistant city manager
527
00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:36,704
and I was giving you
a tryout of sorts.
528
00:18:36,739 --> 00:18:40,074
Now, I'll mull my options
for the next few months,
529
00:18:40,109 --> 00:18:41,709
but I'd love you
to keep an open mind.
530
00:18:41,744 --> 00:18:44,746
Kyle-San!
Arigato!
531
00:18:44,780 --> 00:18:45,930
Mr. Newport, hello.
532
00:18:45,964 --> 00:18:47,081
Hi.
533
00:18:47,099 --> 00:18:49,250
Leslie Knope.
Ben Wyatt.
534
00:18:49,268 --> 00:18:50,351
- Yeah, hi.
- Good to see you.
535
00:18:50,385 --> 00:18:51,853
Nice to see you.
You guys want anything?
536
00:18:51,887 --> 00:18:54,105
This is a restaurant,
so they have food and stuff.
537
00:18:54,139 --> 00:18:55,356
- I'll take a milkshake.
- We're good.
538
00:18:55,390 --> 00:18:57,525
No, we're good.
What can we do for you?
539
00:18:57,559 --> 00:19:02,263
Yes, um, why'd you guys
post that video of me, man?
540
00:19:02,297 --> 00:19:04,332
I mean, that didn't
make me feel good.
541
00:19:04,366 --> 00:19:07,635
It was... it was mean.
You guys are mean.
542
00:19:07,669 --> 00:19:10,071
Well, we used your own ad,
543
00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:12,273
so I don't think
it was mean.
544
00:19:12,291 --> 00:19:13,841
All right, let me
lay it out for you.
545
00:19:13,876 --> 00:19:16,043
My friends keep sending me
links to that video
546
00:19:16,078 --> 00:19:17,779
and they just
make fun of me.
547
00:19:17,813 --> 00:19:20,281
So just stop running, okay?
548
00:19:20,315 --> 00:19:22,300
Just... that... stop.
549
00:19:22,334 --> 00:19:23,334
Stop running the ad?
550
00:19:23,385 --> 00:19:24,819
No, stop running
the campaign.
551
00:19:24,853 --> 00:19:26,521
What?
552
00:19:26,555 --> 00:19:27,722
Just quit.
553
00:19:27,756 --> 00:19:29,690
It would be so cool of you
if you just quit.
554
00:19:29,725 --> 00:19:31,759
Then I can win the election,
555
00:19:31,793 --> 00:19:32,960
and I'll have a big party,
556
00:19:32,978 --> 00:19:34,495
and I'll put you both
on the guest list,
557
00:19:34,530 --> 00:19:35,813
plus one.
558
00:19:35,848 --> 00:19:37,348
I'm gonna have a man
who does magic.
559
00:19:37,399 --> 00:19:38,733
He's really good.
560
00:19:38,767 --> 00:19:41,135
Not, like, cheesy magic.
Like, good magic.
561
00:19:41,153 --> 00:19:44,372
We're not gonna quit
the campaign.
562
00:19:44,406 --> 00:19:45,773
Why would we do that?
563
00:19:45,808 --> 00:19:48,943
Because I want it.
564
00:19:48,977 --> 00:19:50,011
Come on, give me it.
565
00:19:50,045 --> 00:19:51,813
Give me it.
Give me it.
566
00:19:51,847 --> 00:19:53,147
Come on, give me it.
567
00:19:53,182 --> 00:19:54,382
Just give me the election.
568
00:19:54,416 --> 00:19:55,867
I'm sorry, please.
569
00:19:55,918 --> 00:19:57,335
Please.
570
00:19:57,369 --> 00:19:59,887
Well, Leslie, he does make
a compelling argument.
571
00:19:59,922 --> 00:20:03,558
Come on, ugh!
Come on, guy.
572
00:20:03,592 --> 00:20:05,326
- Bobby.
- Ah, it's not padded!
573
00:20:05,344 --> 00:20:06,494
Can I ask you a question?
574
00:20:06,528 --> 00:20:08,379
Why are you even
running for office?
575
00:20:08,430 --> 00:20:09,897
You know what,
I need something to do
576
00:20:09,932 --> 00:20:11,365
to get my dad off my back.
577
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:12,867
This seemed easy.
578
00:20:12,901 --> 00:20:14,368
What about you,
why are you doing it?
579
00:20:14,403 --> 00:20:15,837
Who's your dad?
580
00:20:15,871 --> 00:20:17,939
I'm running for office because
I want to improve the lives
581
00:20:17,973 --> 00:20:19,273
of the people that I love
582
00:20:19,308 --> 00:20:20,675
and the city that's
the greatest city in the world.
583
00:20:20,709 --> 00:20:22,510
What?
What does that even mean?
584
00:20:22,544 --> 00:20:23,911
Hey, I've got an idea.
585
00:20:23,946 --> 00:20:27,014
How 'bout you quit running,
then I win,
586
00:20:27,049 --> 00:20:29,350
but then I let you do
all the work.
587
00:20:29,384 --> 00:20:30,651
I'm not going anywhere,
588
00:20:30,685 --> 00:20:32,686
and we are gonna debate soon,
589
00:20:32,704 --> 00:20:35,623
and I need to warn you,
I know my stuff.
590
00:20:35,657 --> 00:20:38,576
So you should toughen up.
591
00:20:40,862 --> 00:20:43,030
Why are you guys smiling?
I feel bad.
592
00:20:43,048 --> 00:20:44,081
Hey, quick question.
593
00:20:44,132 --> 00:20:45,583
That little girl
from your video.
594
00:20:45,634 --> 00:20:47,084
Oh, my God, she's so cute.
595
00:20:47,135 --> 00:20:48,369
Do you think you can
talk to her
596
00:20:48,387 --> 00:20:50,721
and let her do an ad for me?
597
00:20:50,756 --> 00:20:52,373
That girl is me
598
00:20:52,407 --> 00:20:54,508
as a ten-year-old.
599
00:20:54,543 --> 00:20:56,611
How'd you do that?
600
00:20:58,149 --> 00:21:00,381
Maybe you should see
one of the other doctors.
601
00:21:00,415 --> 00:21:02,416
No.
No more doctors.
602
00:21:02,468 --> 00:21:04,201
They're a bunch
of scam artists.
603
00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:05,903
They reel you in
with the free stuff.
604
00:21:05,938 --> 00:21:07,889
Next thing you know, bam,
605
00:21:07,923 --> 00:21:10,341
you run into an ambulance.
606
00:21:10,375 --> 00:21:11,876
Every time.
607
00:21:11,894 --> 00:21:14,095
Let's just go home
and care for each other.
608
00:21:14,146 --> 00:21:15,446
We could buy a sewing kit.
609
00:21:15,481 --> 00:21:18,015
You could sew up my lip
underneath a bridge somewhere.
610
00:21:18,050 --> 00:21:20,034
Mmm, so romantic.
611
00:21:20,068 --> 00:21:23,070
- - Oh, sorry, I forgot.
612
00:21:23,105 --> 00:21:24,322
Let's go.
All right.
613
00:21:24,356 --> 00:21:26,591
Do you think sewing kits
are covered by insurance?
614
00:21:26,625 --> 00:21:28,392
Or groceries
or, like, Xbox games?
615
00:21:28,410 --> 00:21:29,393
What is insurance?
616
00:21:29,411 --> 00:21:31,345
I don't know.
Who cares?
617
00:21:31,346 --> 00:21:32,378
Sync and corrected by Rafael UPD
www.Addic7ed.com/