1
00:00:07,246 --> 00:00:08,542
I will certify the results
2
00:00:08,543 --> 00:00:10,642
after all the
precints have reported.
3
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,561
A final tally within 1%
4
00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,313
would trigger
an automatic recount.
5
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:16,181
In the event
of an exact tie,
6
00:00:16,215 --> 00:00:17,933
the seat is awarded
to the male candidate,
7
00:00:17,984 --> 00:00:20,302
and the female candidate
is put in jail.
8
00:00:20,336 --> 00:00:21,987
Once again,
I have to object.
9
00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:23,888
I don't think
it would hold up in court,
10
00:00:23,907 --> 00:00:25,574
but it is city law.
11
00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:27,242
- Any questions?
- Yes, actually.
12
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:30,562
At the 11th hour the Newports
are trying to install
13
00:00:30,580 --> 00:00:32,897
these voting machines
at several precincts
14
00:00:32,916 --> 00:00:34,166
around town.
15
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:38,003
Watch what happens
when I vote for Bobby Newport.
16
00:00:38,037 --> 00:00:39,588
Good choice.
17
00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:41,673
Enjoy a voucher
for a complimentary
18
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,375
Sweetums candy bar.
19
00:00:43,409 --> 00:00:44,927
Shouldn't we be rewarding
our citizens for voting?
20
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:46,962
I'm never against anyone
getting a candy bar,
21
00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:50,582
but watch what happens
when you vote for me.
22
00:00:52,018 --> 00:00:53,635
Are you sure?
Take a second and think it over.
23
00:00:53,686 --> 00:00:56,104
Then you have
to press it again.
24
00:00:59,475 --> 00:01:00,442
To cancel your vote and select
25
00:01:00,476 --> 00:01:03,128
someone better,
press the Sweetums logo.
26
00:01:03,162 --> 00:01:05,897
I'm sorry.
I just don't see the problem.
27
00:01:08,935 --> 00:01:14,535
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
28
00:01:26,618 --> 00:01:27,919
Bobby Newport and I
are separated
29
00:01:27,953 --> 00:01:29,454
by a razor-thin margin.
30
00:01:29,472 --> 00:01:30,922
Could go either way.
31
00:01:30,956 --> 00:01:33,475
I've only slept nine hours
over the past four days,
32
00:01:33,509 --> 00:01:37,312
so I'm right on the verge
of a nervous breakdown.
33
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:38,814
This isn't a bagel.
34
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:40,482
Party starts at 7:00
35
00:01:40,516 --> 00:01:43,235
in the historic
Jermaine Jackson Ballroom
36
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,653
at the Pawnee Supersuites.
37
00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:48,991
It is no longer
"A Pimps n' Hoes" pajama party.
38
00:01:49,025 --> 00:01:53,195
That idea was nixed
by a certain uptight nerd
39
00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:55,664
who shall remain nameless.
40
00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:58,000
By 10:00, we should know
if Leslie won the election,
41
00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:01,152
but more importantly,
tonight,
42
00:02:04,957 --> 00:02:06,991
Last night
at approximately 2:30 A.M.,
43
00:02:07,010 --> 00:02:08,960
I woke up from
a dream that felt so real
44
00:02:08,994 --> 00:02:10,629
that it had to be
a premonition.
45
00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:12,464
Me, Drake,
and the T-mobile girl
46
00:02:12,498 --> 00:02:14,599
were playing baccarat
on a private jet.
47
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:17,469
Ann Perkins walks up to me,
and she says,
48
00:02:17,503 --> 00:02:21,156
"Tommy, tomorrow night,
I'm taking you back."
49
00:02:21,190 --> 00:02:25,527
Then Blue Ivy Carter high-fived
me and gave me $40 million.
50
00:02:25,561 --> 00:02:28,430
It was all so real.
51
00:02:28,964 --> 00:02:30,982
The reason why Bobby and I
are appearing together
52
00:02:31,016 --> 00:02:33,652
is to send the message that
everyone should get out and vote
53
00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:34,986
no matter
who they're voting for.
54
00:02:35,020 --> 00:02:37,489
That's right.
Another awesome point by Leslie.
55
00:02:37,523 --> 00:02:39,074
That's why I'm voting for you.
56
00:02:40,626 --> 00:02:42,244
What's so funny?
57
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:43,545
They're laughing
at your joke.
58
00:02:43,579 --> 00:02:44,546
What joke?
59
00:02:44,580 --> 00:02:46,298
I am voting for you.
60
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,799
You're not voting
for yourself?
61
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,302
Leslie, you can't vote for
yourself, I don't think.
62
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:53,055
I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
63
00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:54,222
Anything else?
64
00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:58,060
Hey,
you did an unbelievable job
65
00:02:58,094 --> 00:02:59,261
on this campaign, Ben.
66
00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:01,596
My partners back in Washington
think so too.
67
00:03:01,647 --> 00:03:04,215
Well, Leslie gets the credit.
Not me.
68
00:03:04,233 --> 00:03:05,317
Look.
69
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,486
Your opponent
is legendarily stupid
70
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,021
and I phoned it in pretty hard,
but you have a knack for this.
71
00:03:10,555 --> 00:03:12,574
I'm running congressman Murray's
reelection bid.
72
00:03:12,608 --> 00:03:14,109
Ohio, 19.
73
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,194
I need someone
to coordinate out of D.C.
74
00:03:16,228 --> 00:03:18,447
You want to do it?
75
00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:20,949
Yeah, that sounds great,
but the Pacers called,
76
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,868
and they're asking me to be
their starting point guard.
77
00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:24,169
I'm being serious, Ben.
78
00:03:24,203 --> 00:03:26,755
What?
79
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:29,124
What, you trust me with
a congressional campaign?
80
00:03:29,175 --> 00:03:31,009
Is this a trick?
81
00:03:31,043 --> 00:03:32,511
No.
This is a job offer.
82
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:33,845
Give me your answer soon.
83
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,599
I need you in Washington
in two days.
84
00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:42,687
Look at that thing.
What is that?
85
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:43,805
Don't touch it.
86
00:03:45,057 --> 00:03:46,358
Ann Perkins.
87
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:47,642
Can I ask your
advice on something?
88
00:03:47,693 --> 00:03:48,643
Sure.
89
00:03:48,694 --> 00:03:49,945
Recently
in a moment of weakness,
90
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:52,531
I had sex with Bobby Newport's
campaign manager
91
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:53,648
Jennifer Barkley.
92
00:03:53,699 --> 00:03:54,649
Seriously?
93
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:56,368
Yes. Several times.
94
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:57,486
And then several more times.
95
00:03:57,537 --> 00:04:00,322
And then
a couple more times.
96
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:01,540
And then one more time.
97
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,107
How has this been going on?
98
00:04:03,126 --> 00:04:04,242
Oh, it was just last night.
99
00:04:04,276 --> 00:04:06,495
Now, I know
it's a one-night stand
100
00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:07,779
and that she's leaving town,
101
00:04:07,797 --> 00:04:10,382
but our ferocious
sexual decathlon
102
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,083
did radically improve my mood.
103
00:04:12,117 --> 00:04:14,886
And I kind of like to see
her again before she leaves.
104
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:17,389
Good idea? Bad idea?
105
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:18,790
I don't know.
106
00:04:18,808 --> 00:04:21,009
I guess
the campaign's over, so...
107
00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:22,677
I suppose it couldn't hurt.
108
00:04:23,228 --> 00:04:24,814
Ann Perkins.
109
00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:29,985
April!
Got your message.
110
00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:31,019
Where are you?
111
00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:32,320
Under the table.
112
00:04:33,355 --> 00:04:35,574
Why are you hiding?
113
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,859
Should I hide too?
What's going on?
114
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:39,778
I was supposed to copy
all the department files
115
00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:41,479
onto a thumb drive,
and it kept freezing,
116
00:04:41,497 --> 00:04:43,198
and I got annoyed,
and I don't know what happened,
117
00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:46,001
but all the files are gone
on every computer.
118
00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:47,586
They're all gone.
Babe, they're all gone.
119
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:48,620
Okay, okay.
Calm down.
120
00:04:48,654 --> 00:04:50,372
First of all,
you did the right thing
121
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:52,040
by hiding under this table.
122
00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:54,543
Secondly, your man is here.
123
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:56,428
I'm gonna take care
of this for us.
124
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:58,630
I've been playing Xbox
for years.
125
00:04:59,164 --> 00:05:01,466
I'm really good at fixing it
when it freezes.
126
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:02,767
I know exactly what to do.
127
00:05:09,008 --> 00:05:10,725
Try it now.
128
00:05:11,576 --> 00:05:12,343
I don't know.
129
00:05:12,361 --> 00:05:13,562
I feel like
I'm forgetting something.
130
00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:15,030
What about my speeches?
131
00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:16,064
Finished both of them
last night.
132
00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:17,566
One if you win,
one if you lose.
133
00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:18,700
What if I tie?
134
00:05:18,734 --> 00:05:20,202
You need to write
a tie-speech for me,
135
00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:22,704
something about
the poetic nature of democracy
136
00:05:22,738 --> 00:05:24,456
and how I'm going fight
this thing from my prison cell--
137
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:25,874
Leslie, relax.
We're done.
138
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,158
All that's left
is the waiting.
139
00:05:27,192 --> 00:05:28,293
Okay?
140
00:05:28,327 --> 00:05:30,078
What were you talking
to Jen about?
141
00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:32,497
Oh, nothing.
142
00:05:33,031 --> 00:05:36,218
No, I just-- yeah, nothing.
She-- she's--
143
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,136
nothing. Nothing.
It's nothing.
144
00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:40,138
Hey, what's a good place
to buy jeans?
145
00:05:40,172 --> 00:05:42,140
You have plenty of jeans.
146
00:05:42,174 --> 00:05:44,208
What were you talking about?
147
00:05:44,227 --> 00:05:48,096
Jen offered me a job working
on a congressional campaign...
148
00:05:48,147 --> 00:05:49,481
Oh, my God,
that's amazing.
149
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:50,515
In Washington.
150
00:05:50,549 --> 00:05:52,067
What?
151
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:54,552
Are you happy or angry?
152
00:05:54,570 --> 00:05:56,571
I don't know.
I don't know.
153
00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:58,773
What did you say?
Did you say, "yes?"
154
00:05:58,824 --> 00:06:00,358
I haven't had a chance
to think about it.
155
00:06:00,392 --> 00:06:02,444
I mean, it sounds amazing,
156
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:05,580
but you know, six months
in Washington, D.C.
157
00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:09,451
Away from you, but you know,
we should talk about it.
158
00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:10,502
Yeah.
We'll just talk about it.
159
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:11,503
You know,
we'll mull it over,
160
00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:12,904
we'll look at it
from every side.
161
00:06:12,922 --> 00:06:14,122
Et cetera, et cetera.
Just--
162
00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:15,123
I'm going to go vote,
163
00:06:15,174 --> 00:06:17,175
just fulfill
a lifelong dream of mine
164
00:06:17,209 --> 00:06:18,743
and achieve one of
my all-time happiest moments
165
00:06:18,761 --> 00:06:21,179
real quick,
and then we will talk about it.
166
00:06:21,963 --> 00:06:23,298
Cool.
167
00:06:40,366 --> 00:06:41,983
Leslie, I can't figure
this thing out.
168
00:06:42,034 --> 00:06:43,285
Can you help me?
169
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:44,402
Yeah, just hang on a second,
Bobby.
170
00:06:44,436 --> 00:06:45,436
Ink all over my hands,
171
00:06:45,454 --> 00:06:48,156
and the pen thing-y came
off the chain.
172
00:06:49,207 --> 00:06:50,582
I don't get it!
173
00:06:55,065 --> 00:06:56,750
The polls have just closed,
174
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:59,119
and now we're getting results
in the race for city council.
175
00:06:59,170 --> 00:07:01,254
With just 1%
of the precincts reporting,
176
00:07:01,289 --> 00:07:04,624
adult film star Brandi Maxxxx
has a commanding lead.
177
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:05,959
Oh, my God.
That's it.
178
00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:07,644
It's not Bobby Newport
who's going to beat me,
179
00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:09,162
it's Brandi Maxxxx,
the porn star.
180
00:07:09,197 --> 00:07:10,347
What is this? Italy?
181
00:07:10,381 --> 00:07:11,698
Listen,
I know you're stressed out,
182
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,133
and I figured you would be,
183
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:14,751
so I took the liberty
of arranging
184
00:07:14,769 --> 00:07:16,269
a fun little activity for us.
185
00:07:16,304 --> 00:07:17,437
- You did?
- Mm-hmm.
186
00:07:17,472 --> 00:07:18,588
Oh, Ann.
Thank you so much.
187
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:19,890
I've said this to you before,
188
00:07:19,924 --> 00:07:20,891
and I know it makes you
uncomfortable...
189
00:07:20,925 --> 00:07:22,192
Oh, boy.
190
00:07:22,226 --> 00:07:23,777
But you're thoughtful,
and you're brilliant,
191
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:26,095
and your ambiguous ethnic blend
perfectly represents
192
00:07:26,114 --> 00:07:28,565
the dream
of the American melting pot.
193
00:07:28,599 --> 00:07:30,767
Okay, let's go.
194
00:07:33,121 --> 00:07:35,539
Another, Dana,
please and thank you.
195
00:07:35,573 --> 00:07:38,125
Ron, I handed out
1,000 leaflets today.
196
00:07:38,159 --> 00:07:40,710
That is a personal best.
Now I'm off to vote.
197
00:07:41,245 --> 00:07:42,562
The polls are closed.
198
00:07:43,013 --> 00:07:43,997
What?
No, no, no.
199
00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:45,498
I thought that
they close at 8:00.
200
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,634
6:00.
201
00:07:47,918 --> 00:07:49,335
Oh, my God.
202
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:50,837
Ron, I didn't get
to vote for Leslie.
203
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:52,138
Oh, my God,
what do I do?
204
00:07:52,173 --> 00:07:53,423
Nothing you can do.
205
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:55,809
Except hope Leslie
doesn't lose by one vote.
206
00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:59,679
9% of precincts reporting,
and it's razor-thin
207
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:01,564
and getting razor-thinner.
208
00:08:01,599 --> 00:08:02,982
Oh, boy.
209
00:08:03,017 --> 00:08:04,601
No. No.
210
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:06,019
Jen Barkley.
211
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:09,322
Hey.
What are you doing here?
212
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:12,242
That was fun last night,
you old screamer.
213
00:08:12,276 --> 00:08:14,727
There were moments that
I didn't fully understand
214
00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:16,062
some of the physical shapes
that we were making...
215
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,113
Mm.
216
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,581
But the sensations
were amazing.
217
00:08:18,616 --> 00:08:20,450
- So I just went with it.
- Great.
218
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:21,868
Well, I thought
that we could just talk
219
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,620
before you left town
if that's okay.
220
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:25,955
No, but there's a supply room
over there with a futon.
221
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,624
Great.
222
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:30,760
Not yet. Just wait--
we're just getting supplies.
223
00:08:30,795 --> 00:08:33,930
Anybody need anything?
Pushpins-- okay, good.
224
00:08:33,964 --> 00:08:35,765
Please hurry.
225
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,684
I told her it's a matter
of life and death.
226
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,085
Honey,
Donna's been here forever.
227
00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:40,086
She's going
to know what to do.
228
00:08:40,104 --> 00:08:41,254
What if she doesn't?
229
00:08:41,272 --> 00:08:42,772
I could get fired.
230
00:08:42,807 --> 00:08:45,258
Or even worse,
Leslie might give me a lecture
231
00:08:45,276 --> 00:08:47,093
on responsibility again,
I can't do it.
232
00:08:47,111 --> 00:08:48,361
I'll tell you what, honey.
233
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:50,980
Here's the deal.
You get fired, I'll quit.
234
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,098
We'll leave together.
235
00:08:52,116 --> 00:08:53,867
I'm serious.
Move to a new city.
236
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,235
Change our names,
237
00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:57,537
burn our fingertips off
with acid,
238
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:58,822
swap faces.
239
00:08:58,873 --> 00:09:00,790
- What?
- If we have to.
240
00:09:00,825 --> 00:09:02,292
Good.
241
00:09:02,326 --> 00:09:04,544
Yes. Nice.
Keep punching.
242
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:05,712
- Did I hit your boob?
- No.
243
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:06,963
Sorry.
244
00:09:06,997 --> 00:09:07,964
Great form.
245
00:09:07,998 --> 00:09:09,883
Maybe.
I have no idea actually.
246
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,801
- I don't know what I'm doing.
- Yeah!
247
00:09:11,836 --> 00:09:13,119
That was good.
I'm exhausted.
248
00:09:13,137 --> 00:09:14,220
How long was that?
249
00:09:14,255 --> 00:09:15,305
22 seconds.
250
00:09:15,839 --> 00:09:17,140
Boy,
that's disappointing.
251
00:09:17,674 --> 00:09:19,509
What are you going
to do about Ben?
252
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,511
I just-- I've been running
for office the entire time
253
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:22,645
we've been dating.
254
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:25,148
We're just about
to get our lives back.
255
00:09:25,182 --> 00:09:26,799
It would kill me if he left.
256
00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:27,934
Then tell him that.
257
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,487
Go find him
and tell him how you feel.
258
00:09:30,521 --> 00:09:32,471
And then the two of you could
work it out together.
259
00:09:35,109 --> 00:09:36,326
Election results, Ann.
260
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,161
Ann, Ann, I can't read it.
261
00:09:38,195 --> 00:09:39,746
- Okay.
- Ann, my hands. My hands, Ann.
262
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:40,747
- Here.
- They're in these round gloves.
263
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,582
Here. Okay.
264
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:43,917
20% of the precincts reporting.
265
00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:47,504
Bobby Newport
is up by 140 votes.
266
00:09:47,538 --> 00:09:49,672
Okay.
Let's get your hands back up.
267
00:09:49,707 --> 00:09:51,674
- Okay.
- Go another eight seconds.
268
00:09:52,710 --> 00:09:53,843
Oh, God, I'm so tired.
269
00:09:54,878 --> 00:09:56,346
Gin and tonic, please.
270
00:09:56,380 --> 00:10:00,166
Belay that order, Dana.
Lagavulin, neat.
271
00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:03,388
Clear alcohols are
for rich women on diets.
272
00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:07,357
What's on your mind, son?
273
00:10:07,391 --> 00:10:12,028
Well, Jen Barkley offered me
a job in Washington.
274
00:10:12,062 --> 00:10:17,116
A great job, but I think
Leslie wants me to stay.
275
00:10:17,151 --> 00:10:18,568
What would you do?
276
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,538
Well, I've never been one
for meeting new people
277
00:10:21,572 --> 00:10:25,825
or doing new things
or eating new types of food
278
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:28,494
or traveling outside
of southern Indiana.
279
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:31,297
I've had the same haircut
since 1978,
280
00:10:31,332 --> 00:10:34,050
and I've driven
the same car since 1991.
281
00:10:34,084 --> 00:10:38,004
I've used the same wooden comb
for three decades.
282
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:39,639
I have one bowl.
283
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:41,808
I still get my milk
delivered by horse.
284
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,092
You do?
285
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,094
But you and Leslie
like to hold hands
286
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:49,098
and jump off of cliffs together
into the great unknown.
287
00:10:51,801 --> 00:10:54,687
You two have
a good relationship.
288
00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:57,407
I don't personally know
what that's like,
289
00:10:57,441 --> 00:11:00,276
but I'm given to understand
that means you're going to land
290
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:01,744
on your feet.
291
00:11:01,779 --> 00:11:07,250
So you really want things
to just stay exactly the same?
292
00:11:07,284 --> 00:11:09,502
But if Leslie wins,
you get my old job,
293
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:11,120
assistant city manager, right?
294
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,705
Seems that way.
295
00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:15,258
Then good luck
to the both of us.
296
00:11:20,463 --> 00:11:21,130
Hey--uh!
297
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,181
Hmm!
298
00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:27,136
I have an update that
contains new information.
299
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:30,056
With 74%
of the precincts reporting,
300
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:33,443
Leslie Knope is now winning
by 192 votes.
301
00:11:33,477 --> 00:11:34,611
Oh, thank God.
302
00:11:34,645 --> 00:11:36,729
Oh, lord, please, please.
Let her win.
303
00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:37,897
Please, lord.
Please, lord, let her win.
304
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:39,432
Please let her win.
305
00:11:39,450 --> 00:11:41,818
I'm just going to say this.
306
00:11:41,852 --> 00:11:44,187
And I realize this after
speaking with my best friend
307
00:11:44,221 --> 00:11:45,521
and relationship advisor
Ann Perkins
308
00:11:45,556 --> 00:11:46,539
from the department of health.
309
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:48,291
Yes, I know Ann.
310
00:11:48,325 --> 00:11:49,959
I don't want you
to go to Washington.
311
00:11:49,994 --> 00:11:52,545
I know
it's an amazing opportunity,
312
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:54,580
but in just a few minutes,
all this craziness
313
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:55,581
is going to be over,
314
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:59,002
and I just want
to have dinner with you.
315
00:11:59,053 --> 00:12:00,803
Like normal people.
316
00:12:00,838 --> 00:12:02,388
Yeah, then I won't go.
317
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:03,723
Really?
318
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:05,458
Yeah. Easy.
319
00:12:05,476 --> 00:12:07,060
I mean, I was on the fence
about it anyway.
320
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:09,345
Washington's really far away,
321
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,064
and I don't know
if I want to work with Jen.
322
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,066
I mean, this just seals
the deal. I'll stay.
323
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:15,184
Oh, thank God.
324
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,603
What a relief.
325
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:20,156
Guys.
326
00:12:20,190 --> 00:12:22,492
It's been neck-in-neck,
too close to call all night,
327
00:12:22,526 --> 00:12:24,027
but now we're ready
to make a call
328
00:12:24,078 --> 00:12:25,578
in the race for city council.
329
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:26,579
Bobby Newport...
330
00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:27,664
Oh, no.
331
00:12:27,698 --> 00:12:29,165
Scion of the Sweetums
candy empire
332
00:12:29,199 --> 00:12:32,118
and amateur go-kart champion
has won the race.
333
00:12:34,872 --> 00:12:36,172
Why are you laughing?
334
00:12:36,206 --> 00:12:38,624
Because my dream is dead.
335
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,994
Oh, oh.
336
00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:43,496
Oh, [Bleep].
337
00:12:46,406 --> 00:12:47,975
Recount!
There's a recount.
338
00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:49,806
Oh, come on.
It's over.
339
00:12:49,824 --> 00:12:50,824
Just concede.
340
00:12:50,858 --> 00:12:52,142
Newport won by 21 votes.
341
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,161
That's well within
the margin for a recount.
342
00:12:54,195 --> 00:12:56,613
Please don't do this. I
really want to get out of here.
343
00:12:56,647 --> 00:12:59,199
How about this-- why don't I
make you guys a deal?
344
00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:00,200
Okay,
there's no deal in the world
345
00:13:00,251 --> 00:13:01,501
that we would ever possibly--
346
00:13:01,536 --> 00:13:02,619
I'll give you
Joe Biden's home phone number.
347
00:13:02,653 --> 00:13:04,004
Now, hang on.
That's interesting.
348
00:13:04,038 --> 00:13:05,422
No, no,
you're not thinking clearly.
349
00:13:05,456 --> 00:13:06,506
Mr. Commissioner,
350
00:13:06,541 --> 00:13:08,291
the recount
has to start immediately.
351
00:13:08,325 --> 00:13:09,492
It's the law.
352
00:13:09,510 --> 00:13:11,011
Now I'm not leaving
until you make the call.
353
00:13:11,045 --> 00:13:13,547
He's right, Ms. Barkley.
It'll start right away.
354
00:13:13,598 --> 00:13:16,383
- Keep your phones on.
- Terrence!
355
00:13:16,434 --> 00:13:19,686
I just want to go home.
356
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,054
Hey, any news?
357
00:13:21,105 --> 00:13:24,191
They said the recount could take
two hours, but who knows.
358
00:13:24,225 --> 00:13:25,358
Man, this is stressful.
359
00:13:25,393 --> 00:13:26,860
I picked the wrong week
to do a juice cleanse.
360
00:13:26,894 --> 00:13:28,678
Okay, I think Leslie
should say something
361
00:13:28,696 --> 00:13:30,647
to the troops just to get
everyone's spirits up.
362
00:13:30,681 --> 00:13:31,698
- Where is she?
- I don't know.
363
00:13:31,732 --> 00:13:33,951
She's not answering her phone.
364
00:13:34,986 --> 00:13:37,070
What?
No one knows where she is?
365
00:13:42,910 --> 00:13:44,544
That's a nice chair.
366
00:13:44,579 --> 00:13:48,081
Corinthian leather,
solid mahogany frame
367
00:13:48,132 --> 00:13:51,034
with what I believe are hand-cut
mortise and tenon joints
368
00:13:51,052 --> 00:13:52,552
pinned with oak.
369
00:13:52,587 --> 00:13:54,754
I was really looking forward
to sitting in it.
370
00:13:54,805 --> 00:13:56,806
Figured this might be
my last chance.
371
00:13:56,841 --> 00:13:58,592
You don't know that.
372
00:13:58,643 --> 00:14:00,560
Ron,
for the last six months,
373
00:14:00,595 --> 00:14:02,312
my friends have worked so hard.
374
00:14:02,346 --> 00:14:04,481
Every five-minute coffee break
at work,
375
00:14:04,515 --> 00:14:06,850
every night, every weekend,
376
00:14:06,884 --> 00:14:08,652
every spare moment
of their lives,
377
00:14:08,686 --> 00:14:10,103
they gave to me.
378
00:14:10,154 --> 00:14:13,924
If I lose,
I'll never forgive myself.
379
00:14:13,958 --> 00:14:15,825
You deserve to win.
380
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,778
We didn't volunteer
to help you
381
00:14:18,829 --> 00:14:22,165
because we wanted to wrap
ourselves in personal glory.
382
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:26,670
We did it because
we...care about you.
383
00:14:26,704 --> 00:14:29,906
You had a dream, and we
wanted to support your dream.
384
00:14:30,424 --> 00:14:33,009
That's what you do
when you care about someone.
385
00:14:33,044 --> 00:14:35,629
You support them,
win, lose, or draw.
386
00:14:36,430 --> 00:14:38,098
Let's go back to the party.
387
00:14:38,132 --> 00:14:40,685
You drive.
I've had 11 whiskeys.
388
00:14:41,719 --> 00:14:43,887
Okay.
That's good on places to live.
389
00:14:43,921 --> 00:14:46,022
Let's go back to dream jobs.
390
00:14:46,057 --> 00:14:48,141
If we had to start
a new life,
391
00:14:48,192 --> 00:14:51,311
I have Detective, FBI agent,
policeman, CIA agent.
392
00:14:51,362 --> 00:14:52,929
So we need more for you.
Let's go.
393
00:14:52,947 --> 00:14:54,531
- Andy, I--
- It's fun.
394
00:14:54,565 --> 00:14:55,699
I'm trying to help you
395
00:14:55,733 --> 00:14:58,101
take your mind off
of this horrible mistake
396
00:14:58,119 --> 00:15:00,103
you made
deleting all these files,
397
00:15:00,121 --> 00:15:01,788
probably the worst thing
to ever happen
398
00:15:01,822 --> 00:15:03,156
in Parks and Rec history.
399
00:15:03,207 --> 00:15:05,659
You will certainly get fired,
and I'm trying to help.
400
00:15:05,710 --> 00:15:06,876
God.
401
00:15:06,911 --> 00:15:08,962
So dream jobs, go.
Dream big, kid!
402
00:15:08,996 --> 00:15:10,163
Fine.
403
00:15:10,214 --> 00:15:12,949
Uh, dental hygienist
who's also a medium,
404
00:15:12,967 --> 00:15:14,251
so I can clean people's teeth
405
00:15:14,285 --> 00:15:15,785
and tell them
when they're going to die.
406
00:15:15,803 --> 00:15:17,337
That's brilliant.
407
00:15:17,388 --> 00:15:18,555
Let's make this fast.
408
00:15:18,589 --> 00:15:20,123
I almost made it
with Councilman Howser
409
00:15:20,141 --> 00:15:21,141
before you interrupted us.
410
00:15:21,175 --> 00:15:22,342
Which files did you delete?
411
00:15:22,393 --> 00:15:23,459
All of them.
412
00:15:23,477 --> 00:15:25,679
I just put
the stupid flash drive in,
413
00:15:25,730 --> 00:15:26,896
and then I tried to drag
everything over, and--
414
00:15:26,931 --> 00:15:27,914
Fixed it.
415
00:15:27,949 --> 00:15:29,182
- What?
- What? How?
416
00:15:29,216 --> 00:15:31,268
Jerry accidentally
deletes things all the time.
417
00:15:31,302 --> 00:15:33,470
Ten years ago, I installed
my own secret backup.
418
00:15:33,504 --> 00:15:36,022
- You saved us, Donna.
- Oh.
419
00:15:36,057 --> 00:15:37,023
- I love you.
- Oh.
420
00:15:37,058 --> 00:15:38,558
Okay.
Bring it in, boy.
421
00:15:41,729 --> 00:15:43,196
There you are.
Thank God.
422
00:15:43,230 --> 00:15:45,181
We're going to get
the final results any minute.
423
00:15:45,199 --> 00:15:47,984
I know.
Do you have both my speeches?
424
00:15:48,018 --> 00:15:49,152
Yes.
425
00:15:49,186 --> 00:15:51,655
You seem calmer
than I expected you'd be.
426
00:15:51,689 --> 00:15:53,291
I got you something.
427
00:15:54,325 --> 00:15:55,827
Let me open it for you.
428
00:16:02,032 --> 00:16:03,550
You have to go to Washington.
429
00:16:03,584 --> 00:16:05,969
I told you
I'm turning it down.
430
00:16:06,003 --> 00:16:07,804
I was being selfish.
431
00:16:07,838 --> 00:16:10,640
You put your whole life
on hold for me.
432
00:16:10,675 --> 00:16:14,311
The very least I can do
is try to return the favor.
433
00:16:14,345 --> 00:16:16,262
Are you sure about this?
434
00:16:16,314 --> 00:16:18,064
We can make it work.
435
00:16:18,099 --> 00:16:20,433
I will visit you,
then you come visit me.
436
00:16:20,484 --> 00:16:21,818
And then I go visit you again.
437
00:16:21,852 --> 00:16:24,321
And then we make out
in the Lincoln bedroom...
438
00:16:24,355 --> 00:16:26,106
And the Jefferson Memorial
439
00:16:26,157 --> 00:16:28,108
and the Supreme Court gallery.
440
00:16:28,159 --> 00:16:30,076
We'll do it all over Washington.
441
00:16:30,111 --> 00:16:32,662
Thank you.
442
00:16:34,398 --> 00:16:36,666
Where did you get
a Washington Monument figurine
443
00:16:36,701 --> 00:16:38,501
at midnight on a Tuesday?
444
00:16:39,036 --> 00:16:41,788
From my office.
I have, like, 50 of them.
445
00:16:41,839 --> 00:16:43,340
Right.
446
00:16:43,758 --> 00:16:45,458
The recount's over.
447
00:16:45,509 --> 00:16:46,676
They just called the race.
448
00:16:46,711 --> 00:16:48,213
Oh, God.
449
00:16:50,548 --> 00:16:53,585
It's still 21 votes.
450
00:16:56,603 --> 00:16:58,657
But you won.
451
00:17:01,275 --> 00:17:04,094
You won, Leslie.
You won by 21 votes.
452
00:17:05,112 --> 00:17:07,281
It's confirmed.
It's over.
453
00:17:07,315 --> 00:17:08,615
You won.
454
00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:11,317
That was really sneaky, Ann.
455
00:17:11,369 --> 00:17:12,986
I know. I couldn't resist.
456
00:17:22,997 --> 00:17:26,299
Honestly, I've never been more
relieved in my entire life.
457
00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:28,001
I didn't ruin it.
458
00:17:28,052 --> 00:17:30,503
I thought I ruined it,
but I didn't ruin it.
459
00:17:30,554 --> 00:17:32,121
You're kind of ruining it now.
460
00:17:32,139 --> 00:17:34,057
Great.
That is great news.
461
00:17:34,091 --> 00:17:35,892
I'm going to see you in D.C.
462
00:17:35,926 --> 00:17:37,427
- Yeah, I guess you will.
- Yeah.
463
00:17:37,461 --> 00:17:39,229
Oh, damn it.
464
00:17:39,263 --> 00:17:40,980
Didn't get a chance
to say good-bye to Chris.
465
00:17:41,015 --> 00:17:43,733
Oh, he's just
right over there.
466
00:17:43,768 --> 00:17:45,151
Eh.
He seems really busy.
467
00:17:45,186 --> 00:17:46,653
Anyway, would you tell him
I said good-bye?
468
00:17:46,687 --> 00:17:47,821
Great! Thank you.
469
00:17:47,855 --> 00:17:48,988
Sorry we didn't get
a chance to meet.
470
00:17:49,023 --> 00:17:50,490
- I'm Ann.
- That doesn't matter.
471
00:17:50,524 --> 00:17:51,524
I'm leaving.
472
00:17:55,780 --> 00:18:00,333
Congratulations,
Mr. Assistant City Manager.
473
00:18:00,367 --> 00:18:01,618
I'm very grateful, Chris,
474
00:18:01,652 --> 00:18:04,370
but I think I'm going
to turn down the job.
475
00:18:04,422 --> 00:18:05,371
Really? Why?
476
00:18:06,123 --> 00:18:08,091
I like where I am.
477
00:18:09,677 --> 00:18:10,844
Uh-oh, uh-oh.
478
00:18:10,878 --> 00:18:12,662
Did someone just talk
about a job opening?
479
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,681
Because guess
who's got two thumbs
480
00:18:14,715 --> 00:18:17,667
and was just cleared
from insurance fraud?
481
00:18:17,685 --> 00:18:20,770
This guy, you know?
482
00:18:20,805 --> 00:18:23,973
♪ Got off on a technicality ♪
483
00:18:24,007 --> 00:18:25,725
What's the gig?
I'm in.
484
00:18:25,776 --> 00:18:26,726
There's no job for you.
485
00:18:26,777 --> 00:18:27,894
Smart move.
Go with your gut.
486
00:18:27,945 --> 00:18:30,647
All right?
I'll talk to you guys soon.
487
00:18:31,381 --> 00:18:34,484
Your victory speech,
Councilwoman Knope.
488
00:18:34,518 --> 00:18:37,403
Some day, when I'm
more emotionally stable,
489
00:18:37,455 --> 00:18:39,405
I want to read the concession
speech you wrote for me.
490
00:18:40,207 --> 00:18:42,575
I never wrote it.
491
00:18:42,626 --> 00:18:44,461
And I know all of you know
492
00:18:44,495 --> 00:18:46,463
how hard she worked to get here.
493
00:18:46,497 --> 00:18:48,197
She is
the next city councilwoman
494
00:18:48,215 --> 00:18:50,383
from the great city of Pawnee,
ladies and gentlemen,
495
00:18:50,417 --> 00:18:53,169
my best friend in the world,
Leslie Knope.
496
00:18:57,591 --> 00:18:59,976
The idea behind this campaign
was a simple one:
497
00:19:00,010 --> 00:19:02,929
That with hard work
and positivity,
498
00:19:02,980 --> 00:19:05,765
a group of people can make
a difference
499
00:19:05,816 --> 00:19:08,768
during my term
as your city councilor...
500
00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:11,604
Thank you.
501
00:19:11,655 --> 00:19:14,073
I want to focus on your hopes
and not your fears.
502
00:19:14,108 --> 00:19:17,777
I want to solve problems
instead of creating friction.
503
00:19:17,828 --> 00:19:21,247
And I will work hard
every hour of every day
504
00:19:21,282 --> 00:19:23,833
to make Pawnee
a better place to live
505
00:19:23,868 --> 00:19:26,688
because I love this city.
506
00:19:28,622 --> 00:19:33,910
And I know firsthand,
how very special
507
00:19:33,928 --> 00:19:35,745
the people of this city are.
508
00:19:35,779 --> 00:19:38,298
I owe this victory,
all of it,
509
00:19:38,349 --> 00:19:40,517
to my friends
and my supporters.
510
00:19:40,551 --> 00:19:43,353
No one achieves
anything alone.
511
00:19:43,387 --> 00:19:46,222
So let's embark
on a new journey together.
512
00:19:46,256 --> 00:19:48,808
Let's break out a map.
513
00:19:48,859 --> 00:19:52,061
Not the old, out-of-date one
that shows where we've been,
514
00:19:52,095 --> 00:19:56,116
but a crisp new one that shows
where we might go.
515
00:19:57,151 --> 00:19:59,904
Let's embark
on a new journey together
516
00:20:01,438 --> 00:20:03,773
and see where it takes us.
517
00:20:09,260 --> 00:20:10,693
Tommy!
518
00:20:10,727 --> 00:20:12,529
This party was amazing,
519
00:20:12,563 --> 00:20:13,530
you're amazing.
520
00:20:13,564 --> 00:20:16,499
You are ridiculous,
but I like you,
521
00:20:16,534 --> 00:20:17,917
and I think that
we should date--all of it.
522
00:20:17,952 --> 00:20:19,452
Let's do it.
Let's date.
523
00:20:19,503 --> 00:20:23,456
This is my dream.
Nostra-Thomas is happening.
524
00:20:23,507 --> 00:20:25,925
- Awesome.
- Hey, let's move in together.
525
00:20:26,060 --> 00:20:27,393
Phhhht!
Totally.
526
00:20:27,444 --> 00:20:29,195
- Really?
- Yeah.
527
00:20:29,230 --> 00:20:31,698
All right, no take-backs when
we sober up, little partner.
528
00:20:31,732 --> 00:20:34,984
No take-backs, partner.
529
00:20:35,018 --> 00:20:35,985
We're cowboys.
530
00:20:36,019 --> 00:20:37,954
Great win, great night.
531
00:20:37,988 --> 00:20:40,206
Great year.
Hot wife.
532
00:20:40,641 --> 00:20:41,574
Jackpot.
533
00:20:44,328 --> 00:20:46,296
Good job, me.
534
00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:47,463
Oh, my God.
Babe.
535
00:20:47,498 --> 00:20:48,631
You know what?
536
00:20:48,666 --> 00:20:50,032
Almost everything
you wrote on that board
537
00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:51,834
as a dream job was
some type of police officer.
538
00:20:51,868 --> 00:20:54,337
Yeah.
You ready to go?
539
00:20:54,371 --> 00:20:55,588
No, listen to me.
540
00:20:55,639 --> 00:20:56,589
- Mm-hmm.
- How does this sound?
541
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,560
"Officer Dwyer, Pawnee PD."
542
00:21:00,594 --> 00:21:02,762
Guys, we're going to JJ's
for victory waffles,
543
00:21:02,813 --> 00:21:04,180
and then we're staying up
all night
544
00:21:04,214 --> 00:21:05,682
talking about our lives
and our feelings.
545
00:21:05,716 --> 00:21:07,600
Nonnegotiable.
Let's go!
546
00:21:07,635 --> 00:21:10,019
City council, bitches!
547
00:21:11,221 --> 00:21:14,274
- Jerry forgot to vote.
- Damn it, Jerry.
548
00:21:14,362 --> 00:21:20,313
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com