1 00:00:02,740 --> 00:00:04,940 Merry Congratu-Christmas! 2 00:00:05,010 --> 00:00:06,380 What? 3 00:00:05,010 --> 00:00:06,380 Half "Merry Christmas," 4 00:00:06,450 --> 00:00:09,110 half "Congratulations," 5 00:00:06,450 --> 00:00:09,110 because I just 6 00:00:06,450 --> 00:00:09,110 received some news. 7 00:00:09,220 --> 00:00:12,190 You, Ron Swanson, 8 00:00:09,220 --> 00:00:12,190 have been 9 00:00:09,220 --> 00:00:12,190 nominated for an award 10 00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:14,880 from the Indiana Fine 11 00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:14,880 Woodworking Association. 12 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:16,290 How did you hear about that? 13 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:17,720 I've had 14 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:17,720 a "Ron Swanson" 15 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:17,720 Google alert 16 00:00:17,790 --> 00:00:20,260 for seven years and 17 00:00:17,790 --> 00:00:20,260 it finally paid off. 18 00:00:20,460 --> 00:00:23,090 Recently, I made a chair. 19 00:00:23,230 --> 00:00:27,030 When I was finished, 20 00:00:23,230 --> 00:00:27,030 I thought it was a good chair. 21 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:30,570 I submitted it 22 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:30,570 to the Indiana Fine 23 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:30,570 Woodworking Association, 24 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,610 who felt it merited 25 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,610 consideration for an award. 26 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:36,630 It's been a real whirlwind. 27 00:00:36,910 --> 00:00:39,710 I have to confess, 28 00:00:36,910 --> 00:00:39,710 I'm very honored 29 00:00:36,910 --> 00:00:39,710 by this nomination. 30 00:00:39,780 --> 00:00:40,870 Right? 31 00:00:40,950 --> 00:00:43,890 This might be the first time 32 00:00:40,950 --> 00:00:43,890 I've ever wanted 33 00:00:40,950 --> 00:00:43,890 to attend an event. 34 00:00:43,950 --> 00:00:47,010 Oh, my God, I love events! 35 00:00:43,950 --> 00:00:47,010 I can't wait to go tonight. 36 00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:48,220 Why are you going? 37 00:00:48,290 --> 00:00:50,160 As your self-appointed 38 00:00:48,290 --> 00:00:50,160 emotional guardian, 39 00:00:50,230 --> 00:00:52,590 it is my duty 40 00:00:50,230 --> 00:00:52,590 to love and support you. 41 00:00:52,860 --> 00:00:54,890 Plus, you know, 42 00:00:52,860 --> 00:00:54,890 this is a big deal. 43 00:00:52,860 --> 00:00:54,890 You shouldn't be there alone. 44 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,560 That's correct. 45 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,560 I'm bringing Diane. 46 00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:57,760 Things are going 47 00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:57,760 very well with us. 48 00:00:57,930 --> 00:01:00,460 Even better. I am very 49 00:00:57,930 --> 00:01:00,460 excited to meet Diane. 50 00:01:00,540 --> 00:01:01,970 You're not taking "no" 51 00:01:00,540 --> 00:01:01,970 for an answer, are you? 52 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,700 I forgot to sing 53 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,700 you my merry 54 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,700 Congratu-Christmas carol. 55 00:01:04,770 --> 00:01:07,040 Jingle bells, 56 00:01:04,770 --> 00:01:07,040 jingle yay, 57 00:01:04,770 --> 00:01:07,040 jingle good for you 58 00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:08,240 Get out. 59 00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:08,240 Yup. Hmm. 60 00:01:28,930 --> 00:01:31,260 How about 61 00:01:28,930 --> 00:01:31,260 the new sushi place 62 00:01:28,930 --> 00:01:31,260 in Eagleton? 63 00:01:31,330 --> 00:01:32,630 I'm allergic to sushi. 64 00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:34,900 Every time I eat more 65 00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:34,900 than 80 sushis, I barf. 66 00:01:35,140 --> 00:01:37,040 Hey, Ann, you been 67 00:01:35,140 --> 00:01:37,040 to any swanky 68 00:01:35,140 --> 00:01:37,040 restaurants lately? 69 00:01:37,110 --> 00:01:38,700 What's the occasion? 70 00:01:37,110 --> 00:01:38,700 It's December. 71 00:01:38,770 --> 00:01:41,900 It's the time we celebrate 72 00:01:38,770 --> 00:01:41,900 our most sacred 73 00:01:38,770 --> 00:01:41,900 and special event... 74 00:01:42,410 --> 00:01:44,210 Jerry Dinner 75 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:45,770 Jerry Dinner 76 00:01:45,850 --> 00:01:48,180 Jerry Dinner 77 00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:49,650 What the hell is Jerry Dinner? 78 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,810 Every time we laugh 79 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,810 at something 80 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,810 stupid Jerry does, 81 00:01:51,890 --> 00:01:54,050 we put a dollar in this box. 82 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,060 At the end of the year, 83 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,060 we take all the cash 84 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,030 and treat ourselves 85 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,030 to a fancy dinner. 86 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,330 This year, we have... 87 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,590 $516. 88 00:02:03,230 --> 00:02:05,130 Aw. Geez! 89 00:02:05,730 --> 00:02:07,900 And that's $517. 90 00:02:08,070 --> 00:02:10,100 Oh. 91 00:02:11,170 --> 00:02:12,200 $518. 92 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,610 You guys, that's so mean. 93 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,840 It's not mean 94 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,840 if he doesn't know about it. 95 00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:20,850 It's like talking about people 96 00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:20,850 behind their backs. 97 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:21,940 Everybody wins. 98 00:02:22,020 --> 00:02:23,010 No. 99 00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:25,420 You should at least 100 00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:25,420 invite Jerry to the dinner. 101 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,510 Ha! 102 00:02:26,620 --> 00:02:28,520 That's hilarious. 103 00:02:26,620 --> 00:02:28,520 You should do stand-up. 104 00:02:29,090 --> 00:02:31,250 If you're kidding, you suck, 105 00:02:29,090 --> 00:02:31,250 but if you're serious, 106 00:02:31,330 --> 00:02:33,020 I actually have 107 00:02:31,330 --> 00:02:33,020 been thinking about it. 108 00:02:33,660 --> 00:02:37,290 Hey, April, Matlock called. 109 00:02:33,660 --> 00:02:37,290 He wants his cardigan back. 110 00:02:37,370 --> 00:02:39,560 Boom! I'm out. 111 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,160 Who's Matlock? 112 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,330 Hey, bud. 113 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,330 Hey! 114 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,390 How are you? 115 00:02:44,470 --> 00:02:46,940 Great. I just finished making 116 00:02:44,470 --> 00:02:46,940 an entry in my dream journal. 117 00:02:47,510 --> 00:02:51,880 This time, the giant spider 118 00:02:47,510 --> 00:02:51,880 got caught in my web. 119 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:55,140 Progress. 120 00:02:55,220 --> 00:02:57,480 So I feel like we haven't 121 00:02:55,220 --> 00:02:57,480 gotten a ton of time together 122 00:02:57,550 --> 00:02:59,180 since I got back from D.C. 123 00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:01,450 Well, we both are 124 00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:01,450 in serious relationships. 125 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:05,020 You have Leslie 126 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:05,020 and I have my therapist, 127 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:05,020 Dr. Richard Nygard, 128 00:03:05,090 --> 00:03:06,720 who I see 15 times a week. 129 00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:09,890 Well, Leslie has plans 130 00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:09,890 tonight, so I'm solo. 131 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,760 You wanna hang out? 132 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,760 I'd love to. 133 00:03:11,830 --> 00:03:14,530 It'll be just like old 134 00:03:11,830 --> 00:03:14,530 times in Indianapolis. 135 00:03:14,870 --> 00:03:16,900 We're back. 136 00:03:14,870 --> 00:03:16,900 All right. 137 00:03:16,970 --> 00:03:18,170 Ohhh... 138 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,210 Lots of hugs. 139 00:03:21,710 --> 00:03:24,540 Welcome to the Indiana 140 00:03:21,710 --> 00:03:24,540 Fine Woodworking Awards, 141 00:03:24,610 --> 00:03:26,810 or as I like 142 00:03:24,610 --> 00:03:26,810 to call it, heaven. 143 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,080 Ron. 144 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,080 Ah. 145 00:03:28,580 --> 00:03:31,780 Leslie, 146 00:03:28,580 --> 00:03:31,780 may I present Diane Lewis? 147 00:03:28,580 --> 00:03:31,780 Diane, this is Leslie Knope. 148 00:03:31,850 --> 00:03:34,480 Diane, wow. 149 00:03:31,850 --> 00:03:34,480 Ron has told me 150 00:03:31,850 --> 00:03:34,480 so much about you, 151 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,820 in that he has 152 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,820 told me your name 153 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,820 is Diane, and you exist. 154 00:03:36,890 --> 00:03:40,380 Yeah. He's not a big sharer. 155 00:03:36,890 --> 00:03:40,380 I don't even know 156 00:03:36,890 --> 00:03:40,380 what his middle name is. 157 00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:41,690 It's Ulysses. 158 00:03:42,030 --> 00:03:43,970 I can see 159 00:03:42,030 --> 00:03:43,970 why he didn't tell me that. 160 00:03:44,030 --> 00:03:45,500 Mary, mother of God. 161 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:49,260 That's Christian Becksvoort! 162 00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:51,240 He's the modern master 163 00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:51,240 of the Shaker style. 164 00:03:51,310 --> 00:03:54,170 I never dreamed 165 00:03:51,310 --> 00:03:54,170 that I would see 166 00:03:51,310 --> 00:03:54,170 him in the flesh. 167 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:55,840 Go over and say hello. 168 00:03:55,910 --> 00:03:58,240 No, I'm sure he gets swamped 169 00:03:55,910 --> 00:03:58,240 with attention all the time. 170 00:03:58,610 --> 00:04:00,510 Oh, if you ladies 171 00:03:58,610 --> 00:04:00,510 will excuse me, 172 00:04:00,580 --> 00:04:03,480 there is a jack plane 173 00:04:00,580 --> 00:04:03,480 that needs my attention. 174 00:04:03,550 --> 00:04:04,780 Go on then. 175 00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:08,990 So, tell me 176 00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:08,990 everything about yourself. 177 00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:08,990 Your kids, your hobbies. 178 00:04:09,060 --> 00:04:11,720 What are your 179 00:04:09,060 --> 00:04:11,720 five biggest hopes, 180 00:04:09,060 --> 00:04:11,720 dreams, fears, and regrets? 181 00:04:13,590 --> 00:04:15,190 In honor of Jerry Dinner, 182 00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:18,670 let's each say our favorite 183 00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:18,670 Jerry moment 184 00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:18,670 from the past year. 185 00:04:18,730 --> 00:04:20,130 Yes. 186 00:04:18,730 --> 00:04:20,130 Mine was... 187 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,670 The time he slipped 188 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,670 on a Cinnabon 189 00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:23,200 and landed 190 00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:23,200 in a bunch of garbage. 191 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,770 My favorite Jerry moment 192 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,770 was when he ate 193 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,770 a bowl of glue. 194 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:31,070 My favorite 195 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:31,070 Jerry moment is when 196 00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:34,170 you switched out 197 00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:34,170 his potato soup 198 00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:34,170 with glue and he didn't know. 199 00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:36,810 You're so cute 200 00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:36,810 when you're bullying, babe. 201 00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:41,150 You know what? Ann was right. 202 00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:41,150 This is mean. We are 203 00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:41,150 going to pick up Jerry. 204 00:04:41,220 --> 00:04:42,710 What? 205 00:04:41,220 --> 00:04:42,710 No! 206 00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:45,060 It's Christmas time. 207 00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:45,060 Don't you want 208 00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:45,060 to be good people? 209 00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:46,120 Not really. 210 00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:46,120 Never. 211 00:04:46,190 --> 00:04:48,320 Hey, if we're going that way, 212 00:04:46,190 --> 00:04:48,320 can we stop at our 213 00:04:46,190 --> 00:04:48,320 place real quick? 214 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,890 'Cause I forgot 215 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,890 to put on deodorant. 216 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,570 And a jacket 217 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,570 and one of my socks. 218 00:04:52,630 --> 00:04:54,930 Plus, I gotta poop, 219 00:04:52,630 --> 00:04:54,930 but I could stop 220 00:04:52,630 --> 00:04:54,930 anywhere for that. 221 00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:58,210 I know you didn't, 222 00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:58,210 but if you had gone 223 00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:58,210 to Hogwarts Academy, 224 00:04:58,270 --> 00:04:59,600 which House do you think 225 00:04:58,270 --> 00:04:59,600 you would have been in? 226 00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:02,640 Look, obviously, 227 00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:02,640 I want to say Gryffindor 228 00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:04,200 but I've got 229 00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:04,200 to go with Hufflepuff. 230 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:05,750 I respect your honesty. 231 00:05:05,810 --> 00:05:08,480 Gryffindor. 232 00:05:05,810 --> 00:05:08,480 Seeker on the Quidditch team. 233 00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:11,040 Diane, 234 00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:11,040 that's my chair, right there. 235 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,880 It's beautiful, Ron. 236 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,880 Yours is the winner. 237 00:05:14,290 --> 00:05:15,780 I'm not sure 238 00:05:14,290 --> 00:05:15,780 I stand a chance. 239 00:05:15,860 --> 00:05:18,880 Hey, you most certainly do. 240 00:05:20,190 --> 00:05:21,960 They'd be crazy 241 00:05:20,190 --> 00:05:21,960 not to vote for you. 242 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,090 Which one is Ron's? 243 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:24,530 I don't know. 244 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,130 Smart, 245 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,130 funny, independent, 246 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,130 and sexy? 247 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,370 Diane Lewis? 248 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,370 More like Diane Sawyer. 249 00:05:31,470 --> 00:05:34,340 Whoa! What is going 250 00:05:31,470 --> 00:05:34,340 on at the Gergiches'? 251 00:05:34,610 --> 00:05:37,200 Oh, my God! 252 00:05:34,610 --> 00:05:37,200 Jerry's having 253 00:05:34,610 --> 00:05:37,200 a Christmas party! 254 00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:38,710 I can't believe 255 00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:38,710 he didn't invite us. 256 00:05:38,780 --> 00:05:40,940 How dare he! 257 00:05:38,780 --> 00:05:40,940 What'd we ever do to him? 258 00:05:41,020 --> 00:05:42,710 It's probably just family. 259 00:05:42,780 --> 00:05:44,010 And Ben and Chris. 260 00:05:44,090 --> 00:05:47,520 And Ann. I didn't 261 00:05:44,090 --> 00:05:47,520 even know she knew Jerry. 262 00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:52,490 Wow! The Gergiches 263 00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:52,490 really go all out. 264 00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:52,490 This is incredible. 265 00:05:53,460 --> 00:05:56,520 Mmm. This is literally 266 00:05:53,460 --> 00:05:56,520 the best non-fat 267 00:05:53,460 --> 00:05:56,520 eggnog I've ever had. 268 00:05:57,330 --> 00:05:59,990 Remain calm, 269 00:05:57,330 --> 00:05:59,990 but I think you just drank 270 00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:02,470 some of the regular, 271 00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:02,470 full-fat eggnog. 272 00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:05,740 Chris, 273 00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:05,740 one cup won't kill you. 274 00:06:05,970 --> 00:06:08,600 No, but it will add 275 00:06:05,970 --> 00:06:08,600 exactly 440 calories. 276 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:12,470 But you know what? 277 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:12,470 I'm fine. 278 00:06:13,610 --> 00:06:15,010 You only live once. 279 00:06:16,650 --> 00:06:19,950 Mmm. I don't know 280 00:06:16,650 --> 00:06:19,950 if you know this, 281 00:06:16,650 --> 00:06:19,950 but things with fat in them 282 00:06:20,020 --> 00:06:22,120 taste way better 283 00:06:20,020 --> 00:06:22,120 than things with no fat. 284 00:06:22,190 --> 00:06:24,220 Yeah, Chris... 285 00:06:22,190 --> 00:06:24,220 Everybody knows that. 286 00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:27,250 Ron, 287 00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:27,250 guess why my thumbs are up. 288 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:28,660 No. 289 00:06:28,730 --> 00:06:31,220 Because I'm giving you 290 00:06:28,730 --> 00:06:31,220 my 100% approval about Diane. 291 00:06:31,530 --> 00:06:33,590 She is perfect for you. 292 00:06:31,530 --> 00:06:33,590 She gets you. 293 00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:37,600 She is at the bar right now 294 00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:37,600 ordering a Lagavulin, 295 00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:37,600 neat for you. 296 00:06:37,670 --> 00:06:39,140 I mean, 297 00:06:37,670 --> 00:06:39,140 she's even putting up 298 00:06:39,210 --> 00:06:41,340 with all this stupid, 299 00:06:39,210 --> 00:06:41,340 boring woodworking stuff. 300 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:45,100 I'm sorry, but, you know, 301 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:45,100 it's not the Super Bowl, guys. 302 00:06:45,180 --> 00:06:46,240 Let's take it down a notch. 303 00:06:46,310 --> 00:06:48,680 Anyway, 304 00:06:46,310 --> 00:06:48,680 you have my approval. 305 00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:49,810 I don't need your approval. 306 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,110 But you have it. 307 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,110 Don't need it. 308 00:06:51,190 --> 00:06:52,350 But you got it. 309 00:06:53,420 --> 00:06:57,050 This could end up 310 00:06:53,420 --> 00:06:57,050 being the best night 311 00:06:53,420 --> 00:06:57,050 in Ron Swanson's life. 312 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,320 I am so, 313 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,320 so happy for him... 314 00:06:58,390 --> 00:07:01,730 Hello, you gorgeous craftsmen. 315 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,700 Wow, look at this room. 316 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,790 So much wood, 317 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,790 ready to be worked. 318 00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:09,930 me! 319 00:07:12,470 --> 00:07:14,810 Hey, hey, hey. 320 00:07:12,470 --> 00:07:14,810 Alert... Alert, alert, alert. 321 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:17,310 She's here, isn't she? 322 00:07:17,380 --> 00:07:20,910 Oh, hey, Ron. 323 00:07:17,380 --> 00:07:20,910 What a coincidence. 324 00:07:20,980 --> 00:07:23,040 Gosh, I never 325 00:07:20,980 --> 00:07:23,040 dreamed you'd be here. 326 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,180 Tammy, this is Diane. 327 00:07:25,620 --> 00:07:28,490 Diane, this is a piece 328 00:07:25,620 --> 00:07:28,490 of human garbage named Tammy, 329 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,080 who is also my ex-wife. 330 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:31,850 Twice ex-wife. 331 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:31,850 We were married twice. 332 00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:35,160 And divorced twice. 333 00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:35,160 Everything is done. 334 00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:35,160 They are totally done. 335 00:07:35,230 --> 00:07:37,320 Tammy, 336 00:07:35,230 --> 00:07:37,320 what are you doing here? 337 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,130 I just have 338 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,130 a little something 339 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,130 I need to get drilled. 340 00:07:41,070 --> 00:07:42,590 Can I speak with 341 00:07:41,070 --> 00:07:42,590 you for a moment? 342 00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,700 Everything's fine, 343 00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,700 we're just gonna chat. 344 00:07:44,770 --> 00:07:46,260 Shouldn't you 345 00:07:44,770 --> 00:07:46,260 be at the library, 346 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:47,810 forcing people 347 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:47,810 to borrow books? 348 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,440 Leslie, you and I both know 349 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,440 that the library 350 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,440 closes at 3:00 p.m. 351 00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:51,950 Of course it does. 352 00:07:52,350 --> 00:07:53,940 Besides, 353 00:07:52,350 --> 00:07:53,940 I like to keep tabs on Ron. 354 00:07:54,020 --> 00:07:55,070 So you can ruin his life? 355 00:07:55,150 --> 00:07:56,640 So I can have fun with him, 356 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,740 and sometimes ruining his life 357 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,740 can be a part of that, sure. 358 00:07:59,990 --> 00:08:01,620 This may 359 00:07:59,990 --> 00:08:01,620 be the hardest challenge yet 360 00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,210 for Leslie Knope, 361 00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,210 emotional guardian. 362 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,220 I need to protect 363 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,220 a sweet couple 364 00:08:05,290 --> 00:08:07,320 from a sex-crazed 365 00:08:05,290 --> 00:08:07,320 demon librarian 366 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,730 who makes me 367 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,730 question my stance 368 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,730 on using the "B" word. 369 00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:11,400 I don't know, 370 00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:11,400 maybe just this once. 371 00:08:11,470 --> 00:08:14,090 No, Leslie, fight it. 372 00:08:11,470 --> 00:08:14,090 Fight it. 373 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:19,070 Mmm. It looks warm in there! 374 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:19,070 Warm and happy. 375 00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:21,540 Mmm. 376 00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:21,540 Look at that gingerbread man. 377 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,270 What? I don't see 378 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,270 any gingerbread cookies. 379 00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:25,340 I'm talking 380 00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:25,340 about that jacked-up, 381 00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:25,340 light-skinned dude. 382 00:08:25,410 --> 00:08:27,010 Look like Blake Griffin. 383 00:08:27,450 --> 00:08:28,440 You guys! 384 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,350 There's a buffet 385 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,350 in the house! 386 00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:33,450 I didn't even know 387 00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:33,450 you could do that! 388 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,490 We need to crash this party. 389 00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:37,920 Ann, let us in. 390 00:08:38,830 --> 00:08:40,060 Let's go. 391 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,920 Well, well, well. 392 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,530 You want to come 393 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,530 into Jerry's party? 394 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,530 And why is that? 395 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,590 I need a place 396 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,590 to deliver this baby, Ann. 397 00:08:49,670 --> 00:08:51,000 It's coming out 398 00:08:49,670 --> 00:08:51,000 of me right now. 399 00:08:49,670 --> 00:08:51,000 I'm pregnant. 400 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:56,300 This is a lovely party 401 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:56,300 thrown by a lovely man 402 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:56,300 and his lovely family. 403 00:08:56,380 --> 00:08:57,850 There's no place for meanies. 404 00:08:58,180 --> 00:09:00,240 Forget it, 405 00:08:58,180 --> 00:09:00,240 I'm coming in. 406 00:09:00,310 --> 00:09:01,340 Ow! 407 00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:03,010 Get off me. 408 00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:03,010 Wait. 409 00:09:03,380 --> 00:09:04,550 You're so weak, really? 410 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,220 I mean, I'm barely 411 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,220 even doing anything. 412 00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:10,260 Are you iron-deficient? 413 00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:10,260 Let me look at your palms. 414 00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:10,260 Ow. 415 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:13,190 It's because 416 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:13,190 of your man strength, 417 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:13,190 Man Perkins. 418 00:09:13,260 --> 00:09:14,350 Let us in, Ann. 419 00:09:14,430 --> 00:09:15,860 It's cold outside, 420 00:09:14,430 --> 00:09:15,860 and I can't wear mittens 421 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,560 'cause they're 422 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,560 unflattering to my hands. 423 00:09:17,630 --> 00:09:19,620 Sorry, guys. 424 00:09:17,630 --> 00:09:19,620 This is your penance. 425 00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:22,140 You can come in 426 00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:22,140 if you do something nice 427 00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:22,140 for Jerry. 428 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,140 Hey, I already did 429 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,140 something nice for Jerry. 430 00:09:24,210 --> 00:09:26,500 I drove here to take 431 00:09:24,210 --> 00:09:26,500 him to Jerry Dinner. 432 00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:28,530 Aw, Donna. 433 00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:28,530 You can come in. 434 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:29,630 Okay. 435 00:09:29,710 --> 00:09:30,800 What? 436 00:09:29,710 --> 00:09:30,800 What about us? 437 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:31,900 What? Donna! 438 00:09:31,980 --> 00:09:32,970 Merry critches, bitches! 439 00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,640 Donna, don't leave us! Donna? 440 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:38,240 Oh, well, whatever. 441 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:38,240 It's Jerry's party. 442 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:38,240 How cool could it be? 443 00:09:38,990 --> 00:09:39,980 Santa! 444 00:09:40,050 --> 00:09:41,550 They have a Santa! 445 00:09:40,050 --> 00:09:41,550 Oh, my God. 446 00:09:41,620 --> 00:09:42,650 What? 447 00:09:41,620 --> 00:09:42,650 Aw! 448 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:47,060 Welcome to the Indiana 449 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:47,060 Fine Woodworking 450 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:47,060 Association Awards. 451 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:52,800 I'm your host, 452 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:52,800 Martin Housely, and wow, 453 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:52,800 it's gonna be a great show... 454 00:09:52,870 --> 00:09:53,860 Knock on wood. 455 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:57,670 Oh, my gosh. 456 00:09:57,740 --> 00:10:00,230 What a coinky-dinky. 457 00:09:57,740 --> 00:10:00,230 Look, we're sitting 458 00:09:57,740 --> 00:10:00,230 at the same table! 459 00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:02,440 Tammy, 460 00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:02,440 this table is reserved. 461 00:10:02,510 --> 00:10:04,950 A guy traded me his seat 462 00:10:02,510 --> 00:10:04,950 for a peek and a squeeze. 463 00:10:05,010 --> 00:10:06,980 That's my boob 464 00:10:05,010 --> 00:10:06,980 and my butt, respectively. 465 00:10:07,050 --> 00:10:08,780 Remember that, Ron? 466 00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:09,940 Subtle. 467 00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:11,880 Well, you know, 468 00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:11,880 they asked me 469 00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:11,880 if I would host this event, 470 00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:14,320 and I said, "Would I?" 471 00:10:16,690 --> 00:10:19,560 Ben, come meet Jerry's wife. 472 00:10:16,690 --> 00:10:19,560 Gayle? 473 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,800 Happy holidays, Chris. 474 00:10:22,930 --> 00:10:24,400 It's so good to see you. 475 00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:25,630 I have someone 476 00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:25,630 I'd like you to meet. 477 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,030 I'm Gayle Gergich. 478 00:10:29,570 --> 00:10:31,540 Gayle... You're Gayle? 479 00:10:31,610 --> 00:10:33,160 Jerry's beautiful wife. 480 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,610 Who looks like that. 481 00:10:35,910 --> 00:10:39,040 Gayle, I hope you're 482 00:10:35,910 --> 00:10:39,040 not in any way 483 00:10:35,910 --> 00:10:39,040 uncomfortable that I'm here, 484 00:10:39,110 --> 00:10:40,410 since I dated your daughter. 485 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,070 Oh, not at all. 486 00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:44,410 You're welcome here any time. 487 00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:48,420 Oops, there's a little 488 00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:48,420 hair on your shoulder. 489 00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:48,420 Oh. 490 00:10:48,820 --> 00:10:52,260 Well, 491 00:10:48,820 --> 00:10:52,260 look who's a silver fox. 492 00:10:52,790 --> 00:10:54,960 Will you look at that? 493 00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:56,730 I'm sorry, you're okay? 494 00:10:57,330 --> 00:11:00,390 You don't feel like 495 00:10:57,330 --> 00:11:00,390 your body is in decay 496 00:10:57,330 --> 00:11:00,390 or death is inevitable? 497 00:11:00,630 --> 00:11:04,630 My, my. Somebody's 498 00:11:00,630 --> 00:11:04,630 being a gloomy goose. 499 00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:08,140 Yeah. Relax, gloomy goose. 500 00:11:08,510 --> 00:11:12,670 Welcome, everybody, 501 00:11:08,510 --> 00:11:12,670 to another Gergich Christmas. 502 00:11:12,950 --> 00:11:15,140 Sadly, one of our 503 00:11:12,950 --> 00:11:15,140 three beautiful angels, 504 00:11:15,220 --> 00:11:16,450 Millicent, 505 00:11:15,220 --> 00:11:16,450 couldn't be here tonight, 506 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:19,350 but our other 507 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:19,350 two beauties 508 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:19,350 Miriam and Gladys 509 00:11:19,420 --> 00:11:22,520 are going to help 510 00:11:19,420 --> 00:11:22,520 Gayle and me 511 00:11:19,420 --> 00:11:22,520 play a little tune. 512 00:11:24,890 --> 00:11:28,950 Here we go a-caroling 513 00:11:24,890 --> 00:11:28,950 Among the leaves so green 514 00:11:29,030 --> 00:11:33,060 Here we come a-wandering 515 00:11:29,030 --> 00:11:33,060 So fair to be seen 516 00:11:33,130 --> 00:11:35,300 Love and joy come to you 517 00:11:35,370 --> 00:11:37,570 And to you 518 00:11:35,370 --> 00:11:37,570 glad Christmas, too 519 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:42,170 And God bless you 520 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:42,170 And send you a happy new year 521 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:46,270 And God send you 522 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:46,270 a happy new year 523 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:50,680 I'm going to call a cab. 524 00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:53,350 Why does everyone act 525 00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:53,350 like Jerry's the victim here? 526 00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:56,520 He's the one that 527 00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:56,520 didn't invite us 528 00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:56,520 to his Christmas party. 529 00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:57,790 Jerry Filter! 530 00:11:57,860 --> 00:11:59,020 Jerry Filter! 531 00:11:59,090 --> 00:12:00,460 Who's Jerry Filter? 532 00:12:00,530 --> 00:12:03,290 Unsurprisingly, Jerry sends 533 00:12:00,530 --> 00:12:03,290 a lot of annoying emails. 534 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,890 So a while ago, 535 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,890 I put a filter 536 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,890 on all our accounts. 537 00:12:05,970 --> 00:12:08,560 Everything from Jerry 538 00:12:05,970 --> 00:12:08,560 goes directly to spam. 539 00:12:08,870 --> 00:12:11,400 And... 540 00:12:11,770 --> 00:12:13,370 Here's our invitation. 541 00:12:13,540 --> 00:12:16,380 There's three years 542 00:12:13,540 --> 00:12:16,380 of nice messages on here. 543 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,840 "Congratulations 544 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,840 on your wedding. 545 00:12:17,910 --> 00:12:19,680 "I'm rooting for you kids. 546 00:12:17,910 --> 00:12:19,680 Jerry." 547 00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:21,880 "Hope you have 548 00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:21,880 the best birthday, Tom." 549 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,440 I just tied 550 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,440 my high score in Snake. 551 00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:30,280 Our next award 552 00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:30,280 is for 553 00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:30,280 "Achievement in Chairs." 554 00:12:30,490 --> 00:12:35,730 The nominees 555 00:12:30,490 --> 00:12:35,730 are Asa Christiana for chair, 556 00:12:30,490 --> 00:12:35,730 Ron Swanson for chair, 557 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:36,920 H. W. Davenport for chair. 558 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,630 So exciting, Ron. 559 00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:40,860 Okay, Ron, 560 00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:40,860 this is your moment. 561 00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:42,600 Tune her out. 562 00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:42,600 She's not even here. 563 00:12:42,670 --> 00:12:44,260 And the winner is... 564 00:12:44,340 --> 00:12:46,100 Ron Swanson for chair. 565 00:12:46,170 --> 00:12:47,540 Oh, wow! Whoo! 566 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:01,480 This award is the only one 567 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:01,480 I'd ever give a damn about. 568 00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:05,820 I made my first chair 569 00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:05,820 when I was five, 570 00:13:05,890 --> 00:13:07,920 but the quality 571 00:13:05,890 --> 00:13:07,920 of the wood was wanting, 572 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,900 so when I turned nine, 573 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,900 I used my factory wages 574 00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:13,960 to purchase some 575 00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:13,960 beautiful local walnut. 576 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:19,060 Thank you for this... 577 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:22,210 This all good... Night good. 578 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:23,700 Uh. 579 00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:26,240 There it is. 580 00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:35,620 Hey, you're looking 581 00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:35,620 at a picture of Millie. 582 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,780 You want to take off, 583 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,780 grab some vegan fries? 584 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,620 She really was delightful. 585 00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:41,800 I truly wish her 586 00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:41,800 all the best. 587 00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:45,420 Man, maybe going to therapy 588 00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:45,420 1,000 times a week is helping. 589 00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,160 I mean, if you'd seen 590 00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,160 that picture a month ago, 591 00:13:47,230 --> 00:13:48,460 you would have fallen apart. 592 00:13:48,970 --> 00:13:50,460 It's just a picture. 593 00:13:50,540 --> 00:13:52,170 Millie! 594 00:13:50,540 --> 00:13:52,170 Hi, Mom! 595 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:55,670 We wanted to surprise you 596 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:55,670 and come home early. 597 00:13:56,980 --> 00:13:58,780 Oh, hey, Chris. 598 00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:01,440 Hi. 599 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,610 Let's take 600 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,610 a moment now to remember 601 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:06,020 those woodworkers 602 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:06,020 who are no longer with us, 603 00:14:06,350 --> 00:14:09,050 and the beautiful coffins 604 00:14:06,350 --> 00:14:09,050 they all designed themselves. 605 00:14:13,260 --> 00:14:14,420 Hey. 606 00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:15,860 Have you seen Ron? 607 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,360 He disappeared 608 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,360 after the speech 609 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,360 and I can't find him anywhere. 610 00:14:18,430 --> 00:14:20,560 Diane, 611 00:14:18,430 --> 00:14:20,560 the stuff with Tammy 612 00:14:20,630 --> 00:14:23,190 is so complex 613 00:14:20,630 --> 00:14:23,190 and weird and gross. 614 00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:25,710 It just would 615 00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:25,710 probably be better 616 00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:25,710 if you let me handle it. 617 00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:27,370 I'm not worried about Tammy. 618 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,380 I mean, I'm a middle 619 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,380 school vice-principal. 620 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,670 I deal with 621 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,670 hormonal psychopaths 622 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,670 all the time. 623 00:14:31,750 --> 00:14:33,150 Oh, great. Good. 624 00:14:33,310 --> 00:14:34,300 What concerns me is you. 625 00:14:34,380 --> 00:14:35,710 You who? 626 00:14:35,780 --> 00:14:37,340 You you. 627 00:14:35,780 --> 00:14:37,340 You me? 628 00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:38,890 You're the one who's been 629 00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:38,890 at his side all night. 630 00:14:38,950 --> 00:14:40,220 You're the one who's 631 00:14:38,950 --> 00:14:40,220 been protecting him, 632 00:14:40,290 --> 00:14:42,190 you're the one who knows 633 00:14:40,290 --> 00:14:42,190 all the intimate details 634 00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:44,020 of his romantic history 635 00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:44,020 with that monster. 636 00:14:44,090 --> 00:14:46,120 Oh, no, no, no, no. 637 00:14:44,090 --> 00:14:46,120 Diane, you misunderstand. 638 00:14:46,190 --> 00:14:47,420 I'm happily engaged. 639 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,700 You and Ron have an intimacy 640 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,700 that I just don't understand, 641 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,030 so if there is a threat 642 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,030 to my relationship with Ron, 643 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:56,470 it's not Tammy. It's you. 644 00:14:56,540 --> 00:15:01,270 Okay, folks, 645 00:14:56,540 --> 00:15:01,270 fasten your seatbelts. 646 00:14:56,540 --> 00:15:01,270 It's the big one, Best Desk. 647 00:15:05,850 --> 00:15:07,580 Where's Diane? 648 00:15:05,850 --> 00:15:07,580 I need her. 649 00:15:07,650 --> 00:15:09,240 She left. 650 00:15:07,650 --> 00:15:09,240 Of course. 651 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,410 Tammy ruins everything. 652 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,180 No, she left because of me. 653 00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:14,410 She's threatened 654 00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:14,410 by our relationship. 655 00:15:17,020 --> 00:15:20,220 That's ridiculous. 656 00:15:17,020 --> 00:15:20,220 I don't think 657 00:15:17,020 --> 00:15:20,220 of you romantically. 658 00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:22,590 You're pro-government, 659 00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:22,590 you never stop talking, 660 00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:24,890 and you have blonde hair. 661 00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:24,890 You're my worst nightmare. 662 00:15:24,970 --> 00:15:26,990 Excuse me, 663 00:15:24,970 --> 00:15:26,990 one man's "worst nightmare" 664 00:15:27,070 --> 00:15:29,400 is every other man's 665 00:15:27,070 --> 00:15:29,400 "total package." 666 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,560 But the point is, 667 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,560 I don't think 668 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,560 it's about dating. 669 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,730 I kind of see where 670 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,730 Diane is coming from. 671 00:15:33,810 --> 00:15:36,900 We are close friends, 672 00:15:33,810 --> 00:15:36,900 and I'm very involved 673 00:15:33,810 --> 00:15:36,900 in your life. 674 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:38,340 I wouldn't say we're close. 675 00:15:38,410 --> 00:15:41,280 By Swanson standards, 676 00:15:38,410 --> 00:15:41,280 we're close. 677 00:15:38,410 --> 00:15:41,280 I know when your birthday is. 678 00:15:41,350 --> 00:15:42,680 So does Baskin-Robbins. 679 00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:45,780 I know that you secretly 680 00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:45,780 love artichokes and plums. 681 00:15:45,850 --> 00:15:47,290 Keep your voice down, 682 00:15:45,850 --> 00:15:47,290 woman! 683 00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:51,150 Fine, we're friends. 684 00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:51,150 So what do I do? 685 00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:53,350 Tammy's waiting 686 00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:53,350 for me in my car. 687 00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:55,950 I think you should 688 00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:55,950 take my car and go get Diane, 689 00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:58,430 and I will handle Tammy. 690 00:15:58,770 --> 00:16:01,240 Thank you. 691 00:15:58,770 --> 00:16:01,240 Protect your eyes, 692 00:15:58,770 --> 00:16:01,240 she's a gouger. 693 00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:02,500 Good to know. 694 00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:05,400 Chris, I'd like you to 695 00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:05,400 meet my fiancé, Carl. 696 00:16:05,470 --> 00:16:06,910 Well. 697 00:16:05,470 --> 00:16:06,910 Hi, there. 698 00:16:06,970 --> 00:16:08,530 Hi. How did you two meet? 699 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:09,700 Whitewater rafting. 700 00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:12,800 He was the young 701 00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:12,800 rafting instructor 702 00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:12,800 all the girls were into, 703 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,650 and I was the young 704 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,650 rafting instructor 705 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,650 all the guys were into. 706 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,120 And then we got together. 707 00:16:17,180 --> 00:16:19,050 Ah, so random, right? 708 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,110 What a story! 709 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,110 I felt like my heart 710 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,110 was whitewater rafting. 711 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,820 Well, I won't keep you guys. 712 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,820 It's good to see you. 713 00:16:25,290 --> 00:16:27,390 Oh, little tip, 714 00:16:25,290 --> 00:16:27,390 there is fat in the eggnog. 715 00:16:27,460 --> 00:16:28,490 Okay. 716 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,060 So how'd it go? 717 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,060 You okay? 718 00:16:33,130 --> 00:16:34,500 I'm fine. 719 00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:36,000 If therapy has 720 00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:36,000 taught me anything, 721 00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:38,060 it's that I need 722 00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:38,060 to face my fears, 723 00:16:38,140 --> 00:16:40,160 even when my fears 724 00:16:38,140 --> 00:16:40,160 are engaged to a man 725 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,440 with the chiseled 726 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,440 jawline of a young me. 727 00:16:43,510 --> 00:16:44,670 Thank you, Ben. 728 00:16:44,750 --> 00:16:45,840 Thank me? For what? 729 00:16:46,450 --> 00:16:49,610 For looking out 730 00:16:46,450 --> 00:16:49,610 for me tonight. 731 00:16:46,450 --> 00:16:49,610 You're a good friend. 732 00:16:50,380 --> 00:16:51,550 Hey... 733 00:16:52,050 --> 00:16:53,990 So Gayle and Jerry... 734 00:16:54,090 --> 00:16:56,650 I've thought about it a lot. 735 00:16:54,090 --> 00:16:56,650 There's no 736 00:16:54,090 --> 00:16:56,650 logical explanation. 737 00:17:00,130 --> 00:17:02,190 Well, hello there, Big B... 738 00:17:02,260 --> 00:17:05,430 Gross! Leslie? 739 00:17:02,260 --> 00:17:05,430 Where's Ron? 740 00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:08,660 Too late, Tammy. Ron's gone. 741 00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:08,660 You'll never get him back. 742 00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:11,400 Wanna bet? 743 00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:11,400 That relationship is weak. 744 00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:14,570 All I have to do is find Ron 745 00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:14,570 within the next few hours, 746 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,230 and he's toast. 747 00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:17,880 Few hours, you say? 748 00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:21,550 Leslie! Stop this car! 749 00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:21,550 Where are we going? 750 00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:22,910 I don't know. 751 00:17:23,020 --> 00:17:24,540 You're gonna regret this! 752 00:17:26,850 --> 00:17:28,120 Well, hello again. 753 00:17:28,220 --> 00:17:30,420 You ready to be nice to Jerry? 754 00:17:30,490 --> 00:17:33,930 Because it's so cold out here, 755 00:17:30,490 --> 00:17:33,930 it reminds me 756 00:17:30,490 --> 00:17:33,930 of my wife's lasagna. 757 00:17:34,630 --> 00:17:36,060 I actually like that one. 758 00:17:36,130 --> 00:17:40,400 Hey, guys! 759 00:17:36,130 --> 00:17:40,400 I thought you weren't coming. 760 00:17:36,130 --> 00:17:40,400 You know, never got your RSVP. 761 00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:42,600 Hi, Jerry. 762 00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:42,600 We got you a gift. 763 00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:42,600 Merry Christmas. 764 00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:44,100 Huh? 765 00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:45,200 Yeah, just... 766 00:17:45,270 --> 00:17:47,240 We took up a collection 767 00:17:45,270 --> 00:17:47,240 to pay your hospital bills, 768 00:17:47,310 --> 00:17:49,870 since you almost 769 00:17:47,310 --> 00:17:49,870 farted yourself to death. 770 00:17:49,940 --> 00:17:53,400 Every time 771 00:17:49,940 --> 00:17:53,400 we did something mean, 772 00:17:49,940 --> 00:17:53,400 we put a dollar in a box. 773 00:17:53,980 --> 00:17:56,110 Wow, 774 00:17:53,980 --> 00:17:56,110 I'm the luckiest man on earth. 775 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,780 Okay, well, come on in! 776 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,780 It's a party. 777 00:18:04,830 --> 00:18:06,690 Oh, geez. 778 00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:08,150 Give me the keys! 779 00:18:08,230 --> 00:18:09,220 No! 780 00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:11,200 Give 'em to me! 781 00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:11,200 Never! 782 00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,670 Hey, game over, Tammy. 783 00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,670 Whoo! 784 00:18:14,030 --> 00:18:15,470 What? You... 785 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,570 I'm going in! 786 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:19,800 Whoo! 787 00:18:19,870 --> 00:18:21,710 Ha! Ow! Ah! 788 00:18:23,510 --> 00:18:25,540 Oh, my God, 789 00:18:23,510 --> 00:18:25,540 I am so turned on right now. 790 00:18:25,610 --> 00:18:27,340 What is wrong with you? 791 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:28,880 Yeah, tell me 792 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:28,880 you're not feeling this. 793 00:18:28,950 --> 00:18:30,580 You are so crazy! 794 00:18:30,650 --> 00:18:31,810 I got 'em! 795 00:18:31,890 --> 00:18:33,980 I got 'em. 796 00:18:31,890 --> 00:18:33,980 No! 797 00:18:34,050 --> 00:18:36,080 No! You'll never catch me! 798 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,990 Come back here... Ow! 799 00:18:38,130 --> 00:18:40,290 You are not gonna 800 00:18:38,130 --> 00:18:40,290 ruin this night! 801 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:41,420 Get away from this car! 802 00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:42,490 No! 803 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:43,860 What are you doing? 804 00:18:44,030 --> 00:18:45,160 You're crazy! 805 00:18:45,230 --> 00:18:47,130 Ron! Ron! 806 00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:48,690 Ha, ha, ha. 807 00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:48,690 You're too late! 808 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,730 No! No, no, no, 809 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,730 no, no, no! 810 00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:57,440 She just knows you so well, 811 00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:57,440 and I was starting to wonder 812 00:18:57,510 --> 00:18:59,340 if I was ever gonna 813 00:18:57,510 --> 00:18:59,340 get to that point. 814 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,780 I'm worried that maybe 815 00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:03,750 there isn't room in your life 816 00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:03,750 for another woman. 817 00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:06,750 At this very moment, 818 00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:06,750 Leslie is throwing herself 819 00:19:06,820 --> 00:19:10,880 in front of a freight train 820 00:19:06,820 --> 00:19:10,880 named Tammy for me and you. 821 00:19:11,390 --> 00:19:13,050 Leslie is a wonderful, 822 00:19:11,390 --> 00:19:13,050 loyal friend, 823 00:19:13,130 --> 00:19:15,120 who is very important 824 00:19:13,130 --> 00:19:15,120 in my life, 825 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,360 but I would 826 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,360 sooner visit Europe 827 00:19:17,430 --> 00:19:19,920 than have something romantic 828 00:19:17,430 --> 00:19:19,920 happen between us. 829 00:19:20,470 --> 00:19:23,700 Although, if you'd 830 00:19:20,470 --> 00:19:23,700 like to visit Europe, 831 00:19:23,770 --> 00:19:26,240 I like you so much, 832 00:19:23,770 --> 00:19:26,240 I'd be willing to risk it. 833 00:19:26,770 --> 00:19:28,770 But not France, right? 834 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:29,830 God, no. 835 00:19:32,150 --> 00:19:34,340 See? You know me 836 00:19:32,150 --> 00:19:34,340 pretty well already, 837 00:19:34,820 --> 00:19:37,550 but you're about 838 00:19:34,820 --> 00:19:37,550 to get to know me even better. 839 00:19:37,850 --> 00:19:40,320 I brought you here 840 00:19:37,850 --> 00:19:40,320 because I want 841 00:19:37,850 --> 00:19:40,320 to show you something 842 00:19:40,390 --> 00:19:42,450 that almost no one 843 00:19:40,390 --> 00:19:42,450 knows about... 844 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,920 Certainly not Tammy, 845 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,920 and not even Leslie Knope. 846 00:19:45,990 --> 00:19:49,260 Ladies and gentlemen, 847 00:19:45,990 --> 00:19:49,260 and especially the ladies, 848 00:19:49,330 --> 00:19:52,460 put your hands together 849 00:19:49,330 --> 00:19:52,460 for the one, the only, 850 00:19:52,530 --> 00:19:55,230 my man, Mr. Duke Silvers. 851 00:19:59,770 --> 00:20:02,710 A mighty fine 852 00:19:59,770 --> 00:20:02,710 holiday evening to you all. 853 00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:04,110 Yeah. 854 00:20:04,180 --> 00:20:05,940 It might be cold outside, 855 00:20:06,010 --> 00:20:08,880 but it's about to get 856 00:20:06,010 --> 00:20:08,880 warm all up in my jazz. 857 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,780 I, of course, am Duke Silver, 858 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:15,020 and I would 859 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:15,020 like to dedicate 860 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:15,020 this first song 861 00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:16,750 to my duchess. 862 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,290 You're so lucky. 863 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,760 I'm going to kill you. 864 00:20:34,310 --> 00:20:36,240 I think it's time 865 00:20:34,310 --> 00:20:36,240 to officially retire 866 00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:39,280 as Ron's emotional guardian. 867 00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:39,280 That's Diane's job now, 868 00:20:39,350 --> 00:20:42,010 and she seems more 869 00:20:39,350 --> 00:20:42,010 than up to the task. 870 00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:44,480 I mean, 871 00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:44,480 I'd do anything for Ron. 872 00:20:44,550 --> 00:20:48,040 Even spend a whole night 873 00:20:44,550 --> 00:20:48,040 fighting his crazy ex-wife. 874 00:20:48,690 --> 00:20:52,180 But I think I'm safe. 875 00:20:48,690 --> 00:20:52,180 She's gotta be tired by now. 876 00:20:52,330 --> 00:20:53,350 Hi. 877 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,950 Officer Skorggel. 878 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,950 I pulled over 879 00:20:58,030 --> 00:21:01,260 a Tammy Swanson 880 00:20:58,030 --> 00:21:01,260 for driving erratically. 881 00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:03,460 Ran the plates, 882 00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:03,460 saw it was your car. 883 00:21:03,540 --> 00:21:04,660 Figured it was stolen. 884 00:21:04,740 --> 00:21:06,500 Hey, Ron, why don't you 885 00:21:04,740 --> 00:21:06,500 get me out of these handcuffs, 886 00:21:06,570 --> 00:21:09,010 so I can put you 887 00:21:06,570 --> 00:21:09,010 into these handcuffs. 888 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,440 Yes, please, officer, 889 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,440 get her out of those cuffs. 890 00:21:11,510 --> 00:21:13,210 I want this 891 00:21:11,510 --> 00:21:13,210 to be a fair fight. 892 00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:16,080 Officer, did you see 893 00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:16,080 any sign of a passenger? 894 00:21:17,850 --> 00:21:18,910 Ron! 895 00:21:18,990 --> 00:21:20,010 There we go. 896 00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:21,690 Hey! 897 00:21:24,690 --> 00:21:25,890 Help.