1
00:00:02,207 --> 00:00:03,547
Mr. Hotate, hi.
2
00:00:03,548 --> 00:00:04,756
Thank you for coming.
3
00:00:04,757 --> 00:00:05,797
Would you like some water?
4
00:00:06,058 --> 00:00:09,110
Water?
Like fire water?
5
00:00:09,145 --> 00:00:11,346
That's racist,
and I do not appreciate it.
6
00:00:11,380 --> 00:00:13,231
No, no, no, no, no.
I-I didn't mean it like that.
7
00:00:13,282 --> 00:00:14,699
I just meant, you know--
8
00:00:14,734 --> 00:00:15,734
I'm just messing
with you.
9
00:00:15,785 --> 00:00:17,685
Oh, my God!
10
00:00:17,703 --> 00:00:19,020
He's funny.
This guy's funny.
11
00:00:19,038 --> 00:00:20,288
- He does that sometimes.
- But seriously.
12
00:00:20,323 --> 00:00:22,357
I'll have a whiskey.
13
00:00:22,375 --> 00:00:25,493
Ken Hotate is the leader
of the Wamapoke people,
14
00:00:25,527 --> 00:00:26,828
and we are trying
to get them involved
15
00:00:26,862 --> 00:00:28,330
in our Pawnee Commons project.
16
00:00:28,364 --> 00:00:30,048
Ken and I
get along great.
17
00:00:30,082 --> 00:00:32,133
But historically,
Pawnee's relationship
18
00:00:32,168 --> 00:00:35,501
with the Wamapoke
has been more...
19
00:00:35,888 --> 00:00:37,172
Murder-y.
20
00:00:37,206 --> 00:00:39,557
What about--and I'm just
spit-balling here--
21
00:00:39,592 --> 00:00:42,627
a large neon advertisement
for the Wamapoke casino?
22
00:00:42,662 --> 00:00:44,980
We have a new slogan
that I'm quite proud of:
23
00:00:45,014 --> 00:00:47,847
"Our slots
are downright filthy."
24
00:00:47,984 --> 00:00:50,319
I think it's a slam-dunk idea.
I think we're done here.
25
00:00:50,353 --> 00:00:51,687
I don't--
I don't think we are.
26
00:00:51,721 --> 00:00:53,555
I don't know if we could
put that in a public park.
27
00:00:53,573 --> 00:00:56,391
In that case,
the playground will be great.
28
00:00:56,909 --> 00:00:59,728
Why don't we retire
to my longhouse
29
00:00:59,729 --> 00:01:01,946
and smoke the ceremonial
peace pipe to celebrate?
30
00:01:04,083 --> 00:01:06,034
- Is he joking?
- I don't know.
31
00:01:09,071 --> 00:01:14,404
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
32
00:01:26,272 --> 00:01:28,056
Well, well, well.
33
00:01:28,107 --> 00:01:31,092
If it isn't Mr. Best Man
and Bachelor boy.
34
00:01:31,093 --> 00:01:33,061
Ann Perkins,
Maid of Honor,
35
00:01:33,095 --> 00:01:34,762
are you ready
for the bachelorette party?
36
00:01:34,780 --> 00:01:35,864
Uh, more than ready.
37
00:01:35,898 --> 00:01:38,233
We've got dancing,
Jell-o shots,
38
00:01:38,267 --> 00:01:39,434
private karaoke,
39
00:01:39,452 --> 00:01:41,236
and anything
that can be penis-shaped
40
00:01:41,270 --> 00:01:42,704
will be penis-shaped.
41
00:01:42,738 --> 00:01:43,905
- Ohhh!
- What?
42
00:01:43,939 --> 00:01:45,940
As Leslie's maid of honor,
43
00:01:45,958 --> 00:01:49,244
I really need her
bachelorette party to go well.
44
00:01:49,278 --> 00:01:52,280
Which is why I'm stress-eating
gummy penises.
45
00:01:55,634 --> 00:01:57,385
What are you losers doing
for your bachelor party?
46
00:01:57,420 --> 00:01:59,387
I told Ben he could do
whatever he wants.
47
00:01:59,422 --> 00:02:00,455
Sky is the limit.
48
00:02:00,473 --> 00:02:03,458
We have Haverford,
Swanson, Dwyer--
49
00:02:03,492 --> 00:02:05,012
Jerry forced his way
in there somehow--
50
00:02:05,061 --> 00:02:07,095
things are bound
to get crazy.
51
00:02:07,129 --> 00:02:10,962
The game is
Settlers of Catan.
52
00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:13,968
The object is be the first
to build a civilization
53
00:02:13,986 --> 00:02:15,403
on this fictional island.
54
00:02:15,438 --> 00:02:16,654
I can't believe
this is what you want to do
55
00:02:16,689 --> 00:02:17,906
for your bachelor party.
56
00:02:17,940 --> 00:02:19,700
Look, guys,
we don't have to play this game
57
00:02:19,742 --> 00:02:20,692
if you don't want to.
58
00:02:20,743 --> 00:02:23,144
I mean,
I'm nationally ranked,
59
00:02:23,162 --> 00:02:24,612
so it isn't even
really fair.
60
00:02:24,646 --> 00:02:26,865
Ben, this is your night.
61
00:02:26,916 --> 00:02:28,149
We do what you want to do.
62
00:02:28,167 --> 00:02:29,951
Come on, let's play.
63
00:02:29,985 --> 00:02:32,454
I'm not a big bachelor party
kind of guy,
64
00:02:32,488 --> 00:02:34,456
so when the guys asked me
what my perfect night would be,
65
00:02:34,490 --> 00:02:37,125
I told them the truth--
beer and board games.
66
00:02:37,159 --> 00:02:40,045
They thought I was kidding.
67
00:02:40,096 --> 00:02:41,713
I was not kidding.
68
00:02:41,764 --> 00:02:44,049
Is this gonna be one of
those cool bachelorette parties
69
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:46,801
where things get out of control
and we murder someone,
70
00:02:46,835 --> 00:02:48,136
and then we all have to take
a blood oath
71
00:02:48,170 --> 00:02:49,604
to never reveal our secret?
72
00:02:49,638 --> 00:02:51,556
No.
73
00:02:51,607 --> 00:02:54,476
Then I might have
to leave early.
74
00:02:54,510 --> 00:02:55,843
What the hell?
75
00:02:57,780 --> 00:02:59,097
Well, well, well.
76
00:02:59,115 --> 00:03:00,982
Don't you ladies look nice...
For once?
77
00:03:01,033 --> 00:03:02,934
Just kidding.
I've actually always been
78
00:03:02,952 --> 00:03:04,436
attracted to this one.
79
00:03:04,470 --> 00:03:05,870
Jamm, what the hell
are you doing?
80
00:03:05,872 --> 00:03:06,938
We're laying
the groundwork
81
00:03:06,956 --> 00:03:07,989
for Pawnee's
newest restaurant.
82
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,741
"Future home
of Paunch Burger.
83
00:03:09,775 --> 00:03:11,442
Start drooling, fatties"?
84
00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:12,911
Look, the deal was
that both of us
85
00:03:12,945 --> 00:03:14,462
had three months to get
our proposals together,
86
00:03:14,497 --> 00:03:15,881
and then we put it
up for a vote.
87
00:03:15,915 --> 00:03:18,383
- We still have two weeks left.
- Yeah, that's true.
88
00:03:18,417 --> 00:03:21,052
However, here's the problem.
89
00:03:21,087 --> 00:03:22,420
Turns out, I don't care.
90
00:03:22,454 --> 00:03:23,672
You can't stop this train.
91
00:03:23,723 --> 00:03:24,956
Make all the ruckus
you want.
92
00:03:24,974 --> 00:03:26,624
By the time
this all gets cleared up,
93
00:03:26,642 --> 00:03:28,593
the people will be frothing
at the mouth
94
00:03:28,627 --> 00:03:29,594
for that beef.
95
00:03:29,628 --> 00:03:32,430
Aw, sweet!
A new Paunch Burger.
96
00:03:32,464 --> 00:03:35,300
Their burgers will kill you!
They're full of wasps!
97
00:03:35,318 --> 00:03:36,801
Yeah, but they taste
real good.
98
00:03:37,069 --> 00:03:38,553
Yes, they do, sir.
99
00:03:38,571 --> 00:03:41,055
Once again,
open invitation.
100
00:03:41,073 --> 00:03:43,024
I'm still technically married,
but my wife knows the deal.
101
00:03:43,058 --> 00:03:44,859
Ugh.
102
00:03:44,893 --> 00:03:46,361
Oh, I'm sorry,
what's this?
103
00:03:46,395 --> 00:03:49,728
Seven contiguous segments,
giving me longest road
104
00:03:50,249 --> 00:03:52,667
and a sweet-ass ten points
for the win.
105
00:03:52,701 --> 00:03:54,035
Oh, booyah!
106
00:03:54,069 --> 00:03:55,286
Okay.
All right.
107
00:03:55,337 --> 00:03:57,071
Guys, come on over here.
Gather round.
108
00:03:57,089 --> 00:03:58,506
I want to propose a toast.
109
00:03:58,541 --> 00:04:01,126
To our new Lord of Catan,
110
00:04:01,177 --> 00:04:02,961
Ben Wyatt,
a great friend
111
00:04:03,012 --> 00:04:04,245
and a wonderful man.
112
00:04:04,263 --> 00:04:06,914
May you and Leslie find
eternal happiness together.
113
00:04:06,932 --> 00:04:08,967
- Hey.
- Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
114
00:04:09,018 --> 00:04:11,085
Thanks, you guys.
Thanks for indulging me.
115
00:04:11,103 --> 00:04:12,353
Hey, you want
to stick around?
116
00:04:12,388 --> 00:04:13,921
I got a bunch
of Homeland episodes
117
00:04:13,939 --> 00:04:15,473
burning a hole
in my DVR.
118
00:04:15,524 --> 00:04:16,691
No!
119
00:04:16,725 --> 00:04:18,309
I'm sorry.
On principle,
120
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,028
I cannot stand idly by
121
00:04:20,062 --> 00:04:21,929
and watch a bachelor party
peter out like this.
122
00:04:21,947 --> 00:04:23,264
Now, I know you said
no strippers
123
00:04:23,282 --> 00:04:24,532
'cause they make you sad.
124
00:04:24,567 --> 00:04:25,766
Correct.
125
00:04:25,784 --> 00:04:27,101
Then let's go get a drink
at Essence.
126
00:04:27,119 --> 00:04:28,703
It's the hot new bar
in Eagleton.
127
00:04:28,737 --> 00:04:31,939
Things Magazine said
it's the next big thing.
128
00:04:31,957 --> 00:04:33,324
But, Tom,
this is Ben's night.
129
00:04:33,375 --> 00:04:35,894
Oh, believe me,
if the group's happy, I'm happy.
130
00:04:35,928 --> 00:04:36,911
- I'd go.
- If you guys spot me.
131
00:04:36,945 --> 00:04:37,945
It sounds expensive.
132
00:04:37,963 --> 00:04:39,247
Just so you know,
133
00:04:39,281 --> 00:04:40,748
it's not your typical bar.
134
00:04:40,782 --> 00:04:43,117
They specialize
in molecular mixology.
135
00:04:43,135 --> 00:04:45,453
It's kind of like
an experimental new way
136
00:04:45,471 --> 00:04:46,787
to consume alcohol.
137
00:04:46,805 --> 00:04:50,138
Son, there's no wrong way
to consume alcohol.
138
00:04:53,629 --> 00:04:54,729
Here's your Bud light.
139
00:04:54,763 --> 00:04:56,598
- I ordered a beer.
- That is a beer.
140
00:04:56,632 --> 00:04:59,965
And here's
your Nimbus Martini.
141
00:05:00,319 --> 00:05:01,802
May I go ahead and chisel
your aromasphere?
142
00:05:01,820 --> 00:05:05,153
Please!
143
00:05:06,108 --> 00:05:08,443
This is the wrong way
to consume alcohol.
144
00:05:08,477 --> 00:05:10,912
Whoa,
that's a pretty stiff cloud.
145
00:05:10,946 --> 00:05:12,747
- Who ordered the Scotch?
- Right here.
146
00:05:12,781 --> 00:05:15,783
Hold out your hands,
please.
147
00:05:17,786 --> 00:05:19,037
What's happening?
148
00:05:19,088 --> 00:05:21,706
Oh, this is
a sort of play on Scotch.
149
00:05:21,757 --> 00:05:23,875
It's a whiskey-infused lotion.
150
00:05:23,926 --> 00:05:25,826
Can I ask
if this entire establishment
151
00:05:25,844 --> 00:05:27,962
is a practical joke
of some kind?
152
00:05:27,996 --> 00:05:29,464
If you don't like the Scotch,
they have a vodka
153
00:05:29,498 --> 00:05:32,500
that's served in the form
of a flash of light.
154
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:35,887
Hey.
155
00:05:35,921 --> 00:05:37,138
Having fun?
156
00:05:37,172 --> 00:05:38,890
Well, four years of work
down the drain,
157
00:05:38,941 --> 00:05:40,341
and I have a penis
on my head.
158
00:05:40,359 --> 00:05:43,010
Jamm is stealing this lot
right out from under us.
159
00:05:43,028 --> 00:05:45,063
My dream is dead, Ann.
Mine too.
160
00:05:45,114 --> 00:05:47,181
This is
why I prefer nightmares.
161
00:05:47,199 --> 00:05:48,600
You are sad drinking
right now,
162
00:05:48,634 --> 00:05:51,519
and I need you
to be happy drinking.
163
00:05:51,537 --> 00:05:53,404
Like when we watch
Grease together.
164
00:05:53,455 --> 00:05:55,022
I know, Ann, but everything's
gonna disappear.
165
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,909
April's mini-dog park,
the Li'l Sebastian fountain,
166
00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:59,327
even the Wamapoke playground.
167
00:05:59,361 --> 00:06:01,663
Yet another piece
of Wamapoke land
168
00:06:01,697 --> 00:06:03,364
plowed over
by the white man.
169
00:06:03,382 --> 00:06:04,749
Just try to forget
about it.
170
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:08,133
I mean, there's nothing
you can do to stop them tonight.
171
00:06:09,288 --> 00:06:11,289
For almost 200 years,
Pawnee repeatedly built
172
00:06:11,307 --> 00:06:14,059
factories, restaurants,
and other stuff
173
00:06:14,093 --> 00:06:16,627
on land held sacred
by the Wamapoke people.
174
00:06:16,645 --> 00:06:18,680
So we passed a law
175
00:06:18,731 --> 00:06:20,849
saying that
if any sacred Wamapoke artifact
176
00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:22,851
is found
on a development site,
177
00:06:22,902 --> 00:06:25,770
all construction
must immediately stop.
178
00:06:25,804 --> 00:06:28,106
It would be terrible
if that were to happen
179
00:06:28,140 --> 00:06:29,474
on this future
Paunch Burger site.
180
00:06:35,164 --> 00:06:37,198
Oh, this is bad.
181
00:06:37,749 --> 00:06:39,084
I should not have done this.
182
00:06:42,872 --> 00:06:45,657
Oh, I wonder
who that is.
183
00:06:45,708 --> 00:06:48,159
Well, if it isn't Babe Lincoln!
184
00:06:48,210 --> 00:06:50,495
- Imagine that.
- Hello, ladies.
185
00:06:50,546 --> 00:06:51,996
I'm Abraham Lincoln.
186
00:06:52,031 --> 00:06:53,548
Who's the lucky Mary Todd?
187
00:06:53,582 --> 00:06:55,283
Right here.
Right here.
188
00:06:55,301 --> 00:06:56,284
Ah, ah, ah, me first.
189
00:06:56,302 --> 00:06:57,302
Me first.
Oh, okay.
190
00:06:57,336 --> 00:06:59,170
All right,
tear it up, 16!
191
00:06:59,221 --> 00:07:00,672
Emancipate them abs.
192
00:07:03,642 --> 00:07:04,625
Come on, Ann, not now.
193
00:07:04,643 --> 00:07:05,760
Come on, Leslie,
just loosen up.
194
00:07:05,794 --> 00:07:07,011
I know for a fact
195
00:07:07,062 --> 00:07:08,346
this is a sex dream
you've had.
196
00:07:08,397 --> 00:07:09,347
Looks like it's time
197
00:07:09,398 --> 00:07:11,399
for the Gettysburg undressed!
198
00:07:11,433 --> 00:07:12,850
Okay.
199
00:07:12,902 --> 00:07:15,236
And we're gonna have
to stop now.
200
00:07:15,271 --> 00:07:16,871
I'm sorry,
I'm just not in the mood
201
00:07:16,906 --> 00:07:18,573
for historical nudity.
202
00:07:18,607 --> 00:07:21,142
Please, Mr. President,
put your pants back on.
203
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,777
Ann, can I speak
with you privately?
204
00:07:22,811 --> 00:07:24,279
Is your name Glenn?
205
00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:26,030
- Yeah.
- I sat behind you
206
00:07:26,065 --> 00:07:27,081
in middle school band.
207
00:07:27,116 --> 00:07:28,416
Do you still play
the clarinet?
208
00:07:28,450 --> 00:07:30,151
Yeah.
209
00:07:30,169 --> 00:07:33,321
How have you been, man?
210
00:07:34,790 --> 00:07:36,310
Man, if I ever have
a bachelor party,
211
00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:37,875
I am definitely
coming back here.
212
00:07:37,927 --> 00:07:40,007
You never had one before
you were married to Wendy?
213
00:07:40,012 --> 00:07:41,379
No, it was
a green card wedding.
214
00:07:41,430 --> 00:07:42,463
I did watch
the three-way sex scene
215
00:07:42,497 --> 00:07:43,998
from Wild Things
a few times
216
00:07:44,016 --> 00:07:45,967
the night before,
but it didn't really count.
217
00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:48,136
I never had
a bachelor party either.
218
00:07:48,170 --> 00:07:49,637
Me and April, we got married
with no warning.
219
00:07:49,671 --> 00:07:50,911
I didn't even have time
220
00:07:50,940 --> 00:07:52,106
to take a shower
before my wedding.
221
00:07:52,141 --> 00:07:54,359
Or after.
222
00:07:54,393 --> 00:07:55,560
For, like,
a week and a half.
223
00:07:55,611 --> 00:07:57,061
Tammy One forbade me
224
00:07:57,096 --> 00:07:59,447
from any kind
of celebration,
225
00:07:59,481 --> 00:08:01,065
and Tammy Two thwarted me
by calling in
226
00:08:01,116 --> 00:08:03,234
a bomb threat
to the steakhouse.
227
00:08:03,285 --> 00:08:04,619
I didn't have one either!
228
00:08:04,653 --> 00:08:05,987
Yeah, really,
it's a funny story.
229
00:08:06,021 --> 00:08:08,022
So two weeks
before I married Gayle,
230
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:09,490
I had
an emergency appendectomy.
231
00:08:09,524 --> 00:08:12,160
Boop! That's me hitting
the snooze button.
232
00:08:12,194 --> 00:08:13,795
Don't talk again
for another ten minutes.
233
00:08:13,796 --> 00:08:15,029
New idea!
234
00:08:15,047 --> 00:08:17,966
Tonight, everyone
gets the bachelor party
235
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,000
they never had.
236
00:08:19,034 --> 00:08:21,535
One activity per bachelor.
237
00:08:21,553 --> 00:08:23,421
Welcome
to Tom's bachelor party,
238
00:08:23,472 --> 00:08:26,424
held in a white airplane hangar
from the ice planet Hoth,
239
00:08:26,475 --> 00:08:29,010
replete with dangling,
beautiful aerialists.
240
00:08:29,044 --> 00:08:30,011
To Tom Haverford.
241
00:08:30,045 --> 00:08:31,062
To Tom Haverford!
242
00:08:33,849 --> 00:08:36,985
Hey, hey--
and to my bride, Rihanna.
243
00:08:37,019 --> 00:08:39,153
We truly did find love
in a hopeless place.
244
00:08:39,188 --> 00:08:41,522
Waiter, a round
of light-flash shots
245
00:08:41,556 --> 00:08:42,774
for me and my friends!
246
00:08:42,825 --> 00:08:44,158
- Ohhh!
- Whoo!
247
00:08:44,193 --> 00:08:46,160
Okay, so what happened?
248
00:08:46,195 --> 00:08:48,780
Well, I buried a bunch
of Wamapoke artifacts
249
00:08:48,831 --> 00:08:49,781
in the dirt
250
00:08:49,832 --> 00:08:51,399
so that people
would find them
251
00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:53,668
and have to stop developing
at the site.
252
00:08:53,702 --> 00:08:56,204
You know, when I say it out
loud, it doesn't sound so bad.
253
00:08:56,238 --> 00:08:58,456
- No, that's bad.
- Yeah, that's pretty uncool.
254
00:08:58,507 --> 00:09:00,708
- Shut up, Glenn.
- I'm sorry, guys.
255
00:09:00,742 --> 00:09:02,260
Councilman Jamm
was being sneaky,
256
00:09:02,294 --> 00:09:04,095
and then I tried
to sneaky him back,
257
00:09:04,129 --> 00:09:07,131
and it turned to crummy,
and I have to undo it.
258
00:09:07,182 --> 00:09:08,850
I need your help.
259
00:09:08,884 --> 00:09:10,802
- You don't mean--
- I do.
260
00:09:10,853 --> 00:09:12,253
No.
I'm not doing that.
261
00:09:15,090 --> 00:09:16,190
You guys, the penis hats
262
00:09:16,225 --> 00:09:17,525
cut your digging time
in half.
263
00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:18,976
I'm serious.
Don't be afraid.
264
00:09:19,028 --> 00:09:20,895
Use the penises.
265
00:09:20,929 --> 00:09:23,114
Bachelorette party.
266
00:09:23,148 --> 00:09:24,482
Whoo.
267
00:09:24,533 --> 00:09:27,268
Perkins does it again.
268
00:09:28,603 --> 00:09:31,372
You know, I met Gayle
right here at Sherm's.
269
00:09:31,407 --> 00:09:32,990
- Mm-mm.
- She was slender.
270
00:09:33,042 --> 00:09:36,210
Blonde hair, big breasts,
long legs.
271
00:09:36,245 --> 00:09:38,513
Ugh,
not my type at all.
272
00:09:38,547 --> 00:09:40,665
And what was it, exactly,
that led to you two
273
00:09:40,716 --> 00:09:41,666
hitting it off?
274
00:09:41,717 --> 00:09:42,950
Was she ill,
275
00:09:42,968 --> 00:09:45,253
or did your father
witness her father
276
00:09:45,287 --> 00:09:46,637
committing a crime?
277
00:09:46,672 --> 00:09:48,056
- Or was she temporarily blind--
- You know what?
278
00:09:48,090 --> 00:09:49,390
All that matters
is that you got married,
279
00:09:49,425 --> 00:09:50,391
and you're happy.
280
00:09:50,426 --> 00:09:52,593
So as all-time best man,
281
00:09:52,627 --> 00:09:55,179
I suggest we raise a cone
to Jerry Gergich.
282
00:09:55,230 --> 00:09:56,180
Jerry Gergich.
283
00:09:56,231 --> 00:09:57,398
- Jerry!
- Thank you.
284
00:09:57,433 --> 00:09:59,684
- Gergich.
- Aw, jeez.
285
00:09:59,735 --> 00:10:01,069
No worries, Gary.
286
00:10:01,103 --> 00:10:02,236
Oh, thanks, Sherm.
287
00:10:03,638 --> 00:10:05,440
How did you have that
ready so fast?
288
00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:07,075
I always make
a backup cone.
289
00:10:07,109 --> 00:10:09,277
He drops it
about half the time.
290
00:10:09,311 --> 00:10:11,279
Andy,
you're next.
291
00:10:11,313 --> 00:10:13,448
Any activity in the world.
What would you do?
292
00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:14,922
Well, mine's impossible.
293
00:10:14,950 --> 00:10:16,451
I want to see
a Colts game.
294
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,503
I want to see the Colts
beat the Patriots 49 to nothing,
295
00:10:18,537 --> 00:10:20,204
then I yell at Tom Brady
and make him cry,
296
00:10:20,255 --> 00:10:21,576
then I hook up
with Dave Matthews,
297
00:10:21,590 --> 00:10:23,508
and we play golden tee
for ten hours.
298
00:10:23,542 --> 00:10:24,709
♪ A-la-la baby
299
00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:28,093
That's a very specific
dream, son.
300
00:10:28,430 --> 00:10:31,763
Hey, Jim, Chris Traeger.
I need a favor.
301
00:10:32,885 --> 00:10:34,552
I'm dead.
I am dead.
302
00:10:34,603 --> 00:10:37,138
And this is what heaven
is like.
303
00:10:37,172 --> 00:10:38,306
I knew it.
304
00:10:38,340 --> 00:10:40,942
Oh, this is
where they play the games!
305
00:10:41,376 --> 00:10:43,294
You're up, Andy.
306
00:10:43,328 --> 00:10:45,846
Hey, guys!
Guys, come on over here.
307
00:10:45,864 --> 00:10:46,847
Andy, I want you to meet
308
00:10:46,865 --> 00:10:49,400
Indianapolis Colts owner
Jim Irsay.
309
00:10:49,451 --> 00:10:50,952
Andy,
good to meet you, my friend.
310
00:10:50,986 --> 00:10:52,987
Thank you.
I love your team, sir.
311
00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:54,822
I love them
like they're my own children.
312
00:10:54,856 --> 00:10:56,124
You're big enough
to play football yourself,
313
00:10:56,158 --> 00:10:57,241
it looks like to me.
314
00:10:57,292 --> 00:10:58,826
I can't tell
if you're joking,
315
00:10:58,860 --> 00:11:00,294
but I hope you're not.
316
00:11:00,329 --> 00:11:02,580
This whole place
is yours.
317
00:11:02,631 --> 00:11:03,871
Jim Irsay and I
became friends
318
00:11:03,882 --> 00:11:06,467
while volunteering to mentor
Indianapolis teens.
319
00:11:06,502 --> 00:11:08,553
I gave them tours
of the state house.
320
00:11:08,587 --> 00:11:11,920
Jim gave them Colts tickets
and autographed jerseys.
321
00:11:12,274 --> 00:11:13,841
They preferred Jim.
322
00:11:13,875 --> 00:11:15,510
Reggie Wayne.
I can't look at you,
323
00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:17,512
Reggie Wayne.
Oh.
324
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:20,097
I got married in your jersey.
That's no joke.
325
00:11:20,149 --> 00:11:22,433
That's weird.
But I respect that.
326
00:11:22,484 --> 00:11:24,318
I'm a big fan,
Mr. Luck.
327
00:11:24,353 --> 00:11:25,987
Okay, guy, settle down.
328
00:11:26,021 --> 00:11:27,855
- Okay.
- Uh, Mr. Andrew Luck,
329
00:11:27,889 --> 00:11:30,391
it's every groom's dream
to catch a touchdown pass
330
00:11:30,409 --> 00:11:31,392
thrown by you.
331
00:11:31,410 --> 00:11:32,610
Could you do me the honor?
332
00:11:32,661 --> 00:11:34,278
- Yeah, let's do it.
- Keep the spiral tight.
333
00:11:34,329 --> 00:11:35,279
- I'll try.
- Okay.
334
00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,454
Touchdown, Dwyer!
335
00:11:45,424 --> 00:11:46,574
- Andy!
- Yeah!
336
00:11:46,592 --> 00:11:48,009
- Whoo!
- See ya!
337
00:11:48,043 --> 00:11:50,011
♪ Hey, yeah
338
00:11:50,045 --> 00:11:52,129
♪ I wanna shoop, baby
339
00:11:52,181 --> 00:11:54,182
♪ shoop, shoop-ba-doop
340
00:11:54,216 --> 00:11:55,800
♪ uh, here I go
here I go ♪
341
00:11:55,851 --> 00:11:56,968
♪ here I go again
342
00:11:57,019 --> 00:11:58,252
♪ girls
what's my weakness? ♪
343
00:11:58,270 --> 00:11:59,804
- ♪ men
- ♪ Okay then
344
00:11:59,855 --> 00:12:01,255
♪ uh
Ooh, let's call Ann real quick.
345
00:12:01,273 --> 00:12:02,256
Rub it in.
346
00:12:02,274 --> 00:12:03,558
Hello?
347
00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:05,593
- Ann Perkins!
- Ann Perkins!
348
00:12:07,429 --> 00:12:08,729
We're having
the time of our lives,
349
00:12:08,763 --> 00:12:10,364
and I'm calling you
to rub it in!
350
00:12:10,399 --> 00:12:11,482
- Whoo!
- Boom!
351
00:12:11,533 --> 00:12:13,267
- Really.
- We went to an insane bar,
352
00:12:13,285 --> 00:12:15,203
played football
with the Colts.
353
00:12:15,237 --> 00:12:16,487
- With the Colts!
- The Colts!
354
00:12:16,538 --> 00:12:17,655
Football!
355
00:12:17,706 --> 00:12:18,946
Now we're going
to a steakhouse.
356
00:12:18,957 --> 00:12:20,157
What are you doing?
357
00:12:20,209 --> 00:12:23,110
Uh, well, we're surrounded
by hot guys.
358
00:12:23,128 --> 00:12:25,580
- We're surrounded by hot guys.
- Boom!
359
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:28,583
Oh, Donna just ripped off
a stripper's underwear
360
00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:30,117
with her teeth.
361
00:12:30,135 --> 00:12:31,456
- Whoo!
- Ann, who are you lying to?
362
00:12:31,470 --> 00:12:32,670
- Shh.
- No!
363
00:12:32,721 --> 00:12:35,089
Can I take a break?
My hands are tired.
364
00:12:35,123 --> 00:12:36,424
Uh-uh.
We paid for an hour.
365
00:12:36,458 --> 00:12:38,092
You gonna dig
for an hour.
366
00:12:38,126 --> 00:12:41,459
Gentlemen, welcome
to the Steak House of St. Elmo.
367
00:12:41,647 --> 00:12:42,680
- Whoo!
- Yes!
368
00:12:42,731 --> 00:12:44,432
Tonight we eat
something's flesh!
369
00:12:44,466 --> 00:12:46,567
I want meat!
370
00:12:46,602 --> 00:12:47,852
Jerry, are you sure
this is our table?
371
00:12:47,903 --> 00:12:49,570
There's only four settings.
372
00:12:49,605 --> 00:12:50,938
Excuse me, sir.
This is not your table.
373
00:12:50,972 --> 00:12:52,907
Well, I thought you said
the Gergich party.
374
00:12:52,941 --> 00:12:54,808
No, no, I said
the Gingrich party.
375
00:12:54,826 --> 00:12:57,245
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.
376
00:12:57,279 --> 00:12:58,863
Damn it, Jerry.
377
00:12:58,914 --> 00:13:01,165
But you know what?
Gingrich, Gergich.
378
00:13:01,199 --> 00:13:03,367
I wonder if we're related.
379
00:13:03,418 --> 00:13:04,619
I don't think so, Jerry.
380
00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:07,288
Okay.
381
00:13:07,322 --> 00:13:08,706
One rare porterhouse,
382
00:13:08,757 --> 00:13:10,374
one rare sirloin,
and a rasher of bacon.
383
00:13:10,425 --> 00:13:11,709
- Oh.
- It's the lord's work
384
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:12,960
you're doing, John.
385
00:13:12,994 --> 00:13:14,762
I'd like
four more glasses
386
00:13:14,796 --> 00:13:16,881
of Lagavulin
in liquid form.
387
00:13:16,932 --> 00:13:18,332
That's not something
you really need to specify.
388
00:13:18,350 --> 00:13:20,384
You'd be surprised.
389
00:13:20,435 --> 00:13:22,303
So, bachelor boy,
390
00:13:22,337 --> 00:13:23,437
how's it going
with Diane?
391
00:13:23,472 --> 00:13:24,605
Hmm.
392
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,058
I'm gonna be very candid
with you all.
393
00:13:27,109 --> 00:13:28,643
I like her.
394
00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:29,944
- Whoa!
- Wow!
395
00:13:31,446 --> 00:13:33,814
Okay, okay, okay.
396
00:13:33,848 --> 00:13:36,350
There are so many things
that I could say about Ron,
397
00:13:36,368 --> 00:13:38,319
but I think
that the best man's speech
398
00:13:38,353 --> 00:13:40,621
should represent the groom.
399
00:13:40,656 --> 00:13:42,790
So I will just say...
400
00:13:42,824 --> 00:13:43,791
To Ron.
401
00:13:43,825 --> 00:13:44,825
- Oh, to Ron!
- To Ron!
402
00:13:44,859 --> 00:13:46,127
To Ron.
403
00:13:46,161 --> 00:13:47,962
Just perfect.
Perfect, Chris.
404
00:13:47,996 --> 00:13:49,497
Here you are, sir.
405
00:13:49,531 --> 00:13:50,831
And I thought you might
also like to know
406
00:13:50,865 --> 00:13:52,333
that your meal has already
been taken care of
407
00:13:52,367 --> 00:13:54,335
- by Mr. Hibbert.
- W-what?
408
00:13:54,369 --> 00:13:55,369
- Oh!
- Oh!
409
00:13:55,387 --> 00:13:58,472
- Hey!
- Oh, whoa!
410
00:13:58,507 --> 00:13:59,507
What's up, Jell-o shot?
411
00:13:59,541 --> 00:14:00,708
- Hey, man.
- How's it going?
412
00:14:00,726 --> 00:14:03,043
Roy Hibbert.
Entertainment 720 reunion.
413
00:14:03,061 --> 00:14:04,044
Hey, Tom.
414
00:14:04,062 --> 00:14:05,479
I am not paying
for that guy.
415
00:14:05,514 --> 00:14:07,982
He owes me a lot of money.
416
00:14:08,016 --> 00:14:09,266
It's true.
417
00:14:10,752 --> 00:14:12,036
Coffee?
418
00:14:12,070 --> 00:14:14,655
Yes, please.
Take extra cream, 30 sugars.
419
00:14:14,690 --> 00:14:16,991
I can't believe I tried
to exploit the Wamapoke
420
00:14:17,025 --> 00:14:19,327
for my own personal gain.
421
00:14:19,361 --> 00:14:20,828
Well, we got
most of the artifacts,
422
00:14:20,862 --> 00:14:22,396
and even if we didn't,
they probably won't find them.
423
00:14:22,414 --> 00:14:24,165
Yeah, and if they do,
424
00:14:24,199 --> 00:14:25,633
you'll just go to jail.
425
00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:27,535
But you can make wine
in your toilet
426
00:14:27,569 --> 00:14:28,536
and fight people,
427
00:14:28,570 --> 00:14:30,404
which is a super-cool way
to live.
428
00:14:30,439 --> 00:14:31,922
Oh, my God.
Tweep.
429
00:14:31,957 --> 00:14:33,708
I tweeped.
I called Tweep.
430
00:14:33,742 --> 00:14:35,376
Look, I'm telling the truth
here, lady.
431
00:14:35,410 --> 00:14:38,245
We haven't found
any American Indian artifacts.
432
00:14:38,263 --> 00:14:39,847
Or regular Indian.
433
00:14:39,881 --> 00:14:43,050
Japanese, Muslim,
Jewish,
434
00:14:43,084 --> 00:14:44,518
none of those weird countries.
435
00:14:44,553 --> 00:14:46,554
- Weird countries?
- Shauna Malwae-Tweep.
436
00:14:46,588 --> 00:14:48,689
Wow, I'm so glad
that you're here.
437
00:14:48,724 --> 00:14:50,358
What's going on? Nothing?
438
00:14:50,392 --> 00:14:52,426
Found something!
There's other stuff too.
439
00:14:52,444 --> 00:14:55,196
Arrowheads, more pottery.
440
00:14:55,230 --> 00:14:57,732
I also found some weird-looking
gummy candy.
441
00:14:57,766 --> 00:14:58,899
All right, shut it down.
442
00:14:58,933 --> 00:15:00,317
This is a P.R. nightmare.
443
00:15:00,369 --> 00:15:01,535
We can't do anything
444
00:15:01,570 --> 00:15:03,270
until the Indian Affairs
Commission weighs in.
445
00:15:03,288 --> 00:15:06,490
This is
[Bleeping] bull[bleep].
446
00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:08,392
Okay.
447
00:15:09,439 --> 00:15:12,218
Lesie, Ken Hotate
is right over there,
448
00:15:12,219 --> 00:15:13,869
you need to talk to him
before the meeting
449
00:15:13,887 --> 00:15:15,504
and come clean.
450
00:15:16,506 --> 00:15:17,673
He's gonna be so mad.
451
00:15:17,707 --> 00:15:19,124
The zodiac killer
never confessed.
452
00:15:19,125 --> 00:15:20,458
Why do I have to?
453
00:15:20,476 --> 00:15:23,462
Leslie, I want the Pawnee
Commons as bad as you do.
454
00:15:23,496 --> 00:15:25,163
Actually,
that's not true.
455
00:15:25,198 --> 00:15:27,065
You want everything
a thousand times more than I do.
456
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,901
But we do not want
to win this way.
457
00:15:29,936 --> 00:15:31,820
Oh, April, I wish you weren't
right, but you are.
458
00:15:31,854 --> 00:15:33,739
You have turned
into a very beautiful, wise,
459
00:15:33,773 --> 00:15:35,607
and fertile
government employee.
460
00:15:35,641 --> 00:15:38,143
Stop.
461
00:15:38,161 --> 00:15:39,477
It's kind of weird
when she just starts
462
00:15:39,495 --> 00:15:40,946
raining compliments
on you, huh?
463
00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:43,865
Don't try to bond
with me.
464
00:15:43,916 --> 00:15:45,283
Can't win.
465
00:15:46,502 --> 00:15:48,920
Hey, guys,
I had these T-shirts made.
466
00:15:48,955 --> 00:15:51,289
They're not exactly
a summary of the party
467
00:15:51,323 --> 00:15:52,674
- we ended up having.
- Whoa.
468
00:15:52,709 --> 00:15:53,792
But they're a good memento.
469
00:15:53,826 --> 00:15:55,761
Madness indeed.
470
00:15:55,795 --> 00:15:57,012
I love this!
471
00:15:57,046 --> 00:15:59,715
Usually you can only get
board game t-shirts in XXL.
472
00:15:59,766 --> 00:16:01,049
I just remembered.
473
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:03,468
We left Jerry back at
the gas station in Martinsville.
474
00:16:03,502 --> 00:16:04,803
I'll go get him.
475
00:16:04,837 --> 00:16:07,055
Ah, that guy's the best.
476
00:16:07,106 --> 00:16:08,890
I feel bad he didn't get
to have his moment last night.
477
00:16:08,941 --> 00:16:11,727
Hey, you know what
we should do for him?
478
00:16:11,778 --> 00:16:14,312
Yeah, get him a pet snake,
but I keep it.
479
00:16:14,346 --> 00:16:15,897
What?
480
00:16:15,948 --> 00:16:18,117
In 1921,
several Wamapoke families
481
00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:19,485
were removed
from their homes
482
00:16:19,519 --> 00:16:22,154
so that Pawnee could install
a bumper car track.
483
00:16:22,188 --> 00:16:25,207
In 1951,
Pawnee made it illegal
484
00:16:25,242 --> 00:16:26,709
for people to,
485
00:16:26,743 --> 00:16:29,295
"Dance or smell
like a native American."
486
00:16:29,329 --> 00:16:30,862
Why are you telling me
all this?
487
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,982
Well, I want to raise the bar
of awfulness
488
00:16:33,016 --> 00:16:34,383
so that when I confess
something to you,
489
00:16:34,417 --> 00:16:36,585
you have perspective.
490
00:16:36,636 --> 00:16:38,721
Those artifacts found
at lot 48
491
00:16:38,755 --> 00:16:40,089
were placed there
by me.
492
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:43,391
I wanted to delay construction
on the Paunch Burger
493
00:16:43,426 --> 00:16:45,510
and buy some more time
for my park project.
494
00:16:45,544 --> 00:16:48,180
That is not great.
495
00:16:48,214 --> 00:16:49,264
It sucks.
496
00:16:49,315 --> 00:16:50,715
I'm very, very sorry.
497
00:16:50,733 --> 00:16:53,151
I have great respect
for the Wamapoke culture.
498
00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:55,103
And this isn't even
about the Pawnee Commons.
499
00:16:55,154 --> 00:16:57,823
I just hope that you
can forgive me, Ken.
500
00:16:58,908 --> 00:17:00,475
Hey!
501
00:17:00,493 --> 00:17:01,743
Hey, guys.
What are you doing here?
502
00:17:01,778 --> 00:17:04,696
Congratulations. You have won
the award for Best Man.
503
00:17:04,747 --> 00:17:07,249
Full disclosure--
I voted for Ryan Gosling,
504
00:17:07,283 --> 00:17:08,316
but you came in
a close second.
505
00:17:08,334 --> 00:17:09,985
Now,
you've never been married,
506
00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:11,653
so you didn't get
your own bachelor party.
507
00:17:11,671 --> 00:17:13,539
But let's look ahead.
508
00:17:13,590 --> 00:17:15,707
The year is 2018.
509
00:17:15,758 --> 00:17:18,594
America is thriving
under president Nick Cannon,
510
00:17:18,628 --> 00:17:21,496
and tomorrow,
Chris Traeger's getting married.
511
00:17:21,514 --> 00:17:22,965
Who's the lucky lady?
512
00:17:22,999 --> 00:17:25,934
Maybe she's an upbeat gal
who's nuts about fitness.
513
00:17:25,969 --> 00:17:28,387
Maybe she owns
a juice bar in Snerling.
514
00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:30,889
Maybe it's April.
Maybe I die.
515
00:17:30,940 --> 00:17:32,975
Skydiving explosion.
Pbbbt.
516
00:17:33,009 --> 00:17:34,393
And then you go marry April.
517
00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:35,777
And it makes me sad,
518
00:17:35,812 --> 00:17:37,813
but if she's gonna be
with somebody,
519
00:17:37,847 --> 00:17:39,014
I'd like it to be you.
520
00:17:39,032 --> 00:17:40,732
Strange, but sweet.
521
00:17:40,783 --> 00:17:42,818
Only I didn't really die.
I was faking it.
522
00:17:42,852 --> 00:17:44,703
And I come back.
523
00:17:44,737 --> 00:17:47,739
I spy on you
from my red Corvette.
524
00:17:47,790 --> 00:17:48,957
And I'm planning
to kick your ass,
525
00:17:48,992 --> 00:17:50,859
but I see how happy
you make her,
526
00:17:50,877 --> 00:17:51,994
and I have to walk away.
527
00:17:52,028 --> 00:17:54,079
I have to.
And I do, slowly.
528
00:17:54,130 --> 00:17:55,330
In a rainstorm.
529
00:17:55,364 --> 00:17:56,415
Okay, this isn't really
in the spirit
530
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:57,583
of what we're trying to do.
531
00:17:57,634 --> 00:18:00,419
But as time goes by,
it eats away at me.
532
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,004
You're out living it up
with my wife.
533
00:18:02,038 --> 00:18:03,805
And I'm alone.
534
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,174
In a cave.
535
00:18:06,208 --> 00:18:08,043
Training.
536
00:18:08,061 --> 00:18:09,878
Anyone else
want to chime in?
537
00:18:09,896 --> 00:18:11,212
I thought
you were my friend.
538
00:18:11,230 --> 00:18:12,598
I thought you were my friend!
539
00:18:12,649 --> 00:18:14,382
Okay, what we're trying
to say is
540
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:15,651
that you are a great guy,
541
00:18:15,685 --> 00:18:18,020
and someday,
you're gonna meet somebody
542
00:18:18,054 --> 00:18:20,555
who's into all the same stuff
that you are.
543
00:18:20,573 --> 00:18:22,941
You know, the old Chris
would've loved
544
00:18:22,992 --> 00:18:26,078
this super-fit
health goddess
545
00:18:26,112 --> 00:18:27,195
you guys
are talking about.
546
00:18:27,229 --> 00:18:29,615
But our great adventure
reminded me
547
00:18:29,666 --> 00:18:31,617
that now I just want someone
that values
548
00:18:31,668 --> 00:18:32,834
the important things
in life--
549
00:18:32,869 --> 00:18:35,370
friendships, passion,
happiness.
550
00:18:35,404 --> 00:18:37,673
And dimples
are a plus.
551
00:18:37,707 --> 00:18:39,291
Aw, that's sweet.
552
00:18:39,342 --> 00:18:41,960
I forgive you, bro.
You take care of April.
553
00:18:42,011 --> 00:18:44,012
After careful examination,
554
00:18:44,047 --> 00:18:46,848
we have determined that
these Wamapoke artifacts
555
00:18:46,883 --> 00:18:49,184
could not have originated
in lot 48.
556
00:18:49,718 --> 00:18:50,969
Boom.
Knew it.
557
00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:53,021
There's something else.
558
00:18:53,056 --> 00:18:54,556
I would like to go
on record and say that--
559
00:18:54,590 --> 00:18:55,641
Hold on, Ms. Knope.
560
00:18:55,692 --> 00:18:57,592
Please.
561
00:18:57,610 --> 00:18:59,027
I would like to go
on record.
562
00:18:59,062 --> 00:19:00,762
Speaking as a citizen
of Pawnee,
563
00:19:00,780 --> 00:19:02,531
I do not like the way
you went back on your deal
564
00:19:02,565 --> 00:19:04,366
with Councilwoman Knope.
565
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,652
It reminds me of what
the settlers of Pawnee did
566
00:19:06,703 --> 00:19:07,769
to my ancestors,
567
00:19:07,787 --> 00:19:11,120
taking their land
without permission.
568
00:19:11,874 --> 00:19:13,742
He really plays white people
like a fiddle.
569
00:19:14,476 --> 00:19:15,460
Wow.
570
00:19:15,495 --> 00:19:16,828
It's amazing to watch.
571
00:19:16,879 --> 00:19:18,213
You and Leslie
had a deal.
572
00:19:18,247 --> 00:19:20,332
If that deal
is not restored,
573
00:19:20,383 --> 00:19:23,716
well, I believe
there are six Paunch Burgers
574
00:19:23,886 --> 00:19:25,053
in the Wamapoke casino.
575
00:19:25,088 --> 00:19:27,839
Perhaps it's time
that we revisited
576
00:19:28,140 --> 00:19:28,840
those contracts.
577
00:19:29,141 --> 00:19:31,727
Is that a threat?
578
00:19:32,011 --> 00:19:35,094
Why, yes, I--
I thought that was obvious.
579
00:19:35,765 --> 00:19:37,149
Take the sign down.
580
00:19:37,183 --> 00:19:38,734
We'll wait
until everything's official.
581
00:19:38,768 --> 00:19:40,352
In the spirit
of fair play,
582
00:19:40,403 --> 00:19:43,736
I suggest we put on these
authentic Wamapoke headdresses
583
00:19:43,990 --> 00:19:45,574
and dance
around the table.
584
00:19:45,608 --> 00:19:47,175
Absolutely not.
585
00:19:47,193 --> 00:19:49,311
That sounds
highly offensive.
586
00:19:49,345 --> 00:19:50,946
Does it, white man?
587
00:19:51,380 --> 00:19:53,515
No.
It's not offensive.
588
00:19:53,533 --> 00:19:56,568
- So let's do it.
- You first.
589
00:19:56,619 --> 00:19:59,287
So clearly,
this is not offensive.
590
00:19:59,322 --> 00:20:00,489
It is offensive.
591
00:20:00,523 --> 00:20:03,075
- I am very sorry.
- Take it off.
592
00:20:03,126 --> 00:20:04,826
Hey, Wyatt.
593
00:20:04,860 --> 00:20:06,294
Oh, hey, Shauna.
594
00:20:06,329 --> 00:20:07,295
So I was chasing
this story,
595
00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:08,630
but it seems like
a dead end.
596
00:20:08,664 --> 00:20:11,917
Then I heard about your crazy
rotating bachelor party.
597
00:20:11,968 --> 00:20:13,168
Would you mind
if I wrote about it?
598
00:20:13,202 --> 00:20:14,720
Sure.
599
00:20:14,754 --> 00:20:16,421
But is that really news?
600
00:20:16,472 --> 00:20:17,506
To me it is.
601
00:20:17,540 --> 00:20:19,141
A group of good friends
having fun,
602
00:20:19,175 --> 00:20:20,342
doing nice things
for each other.
603
00:20:20,376 --> 00:20:22,094
I mean, that's what's important
in life,
604
00:20:22,145 --> 00:20:23,979
and I want to write
about it.
605
00:20:24,013 --> 00:20:25,380
Hey, Chris.
606
00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:26,398
Ben Wyatt.
607
00:20:26,432 --> 00:20:28,266
And Shauna Malwae-Tweep.
608
00:20:28,317 --> 00:20:29,551
Hey,
Shauna's doing a story
609
00:20:29,569 --> 00:20:31,269
on our group bachelor party.
610
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:32,554
She said she wanted
to write stories
611
00:20:32,572 --> 00:20:35,273
about good people doing
nice things for each other.
612
00:20:35,324 --> 00:20:38,193
So I figured you two might have
a lot to talk about.
613
00:20:38,227 --> 00:20:40,479
You may be right
about that.
614
00:20:40,513 --> 00:20:42,998
Do you have a second
right now?
615
00:20:43,032 --> 00:20:44,533
I have thousands
of seconds.
616
00:20:44,567 --> 00:20:46,001
Would you like
to have lunch?
617
00:20:46,035 --> 00:20:47,536
Are you a vegetarian?
618
00:20:47,570 --> 00:20:49,704
A vegan?
A pescatarian?
619
00:20:49,738 --> 00:20:50,839
Not that it matters.
620
00:20:50,873 --> 00:20:53,592
- Um, I like burgers.
- Perfect.
621
00:20:54,785 --> 00:20:56,219
Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh!
622
00:20:57,003 --> 00:20:59,504
Three, ten, bullock!
Three, ten, bullock!
623
00:20:59,772 --> 00:21:01,357
Give it to me.
624
00:21:02,391 --> 00:21:03,512
How great a day was today?
625
00:21:03,526 --> 00:21:05,393
Oh, God, I could die.
626
00:21:05,427 --> 00:21:06,761
Greatest day of my life.
627
00:21:06,779 --> 00:21:08,063
I met Andrew Luck today.
628
00:21:08,097 --> 00:21:09,231
I met Reggie Wayne today.
629
00:21:09,265 --> 00:21:10,598
And I met Jim Irsay.
630
00:21:10,616 --> 00:21:13,485
I'm standing
on the field.
631
00:21:13,536 --> 00:21:14,602
Lucas Oil Stadium.
632
00:21:14,620 --> 00:21:17,155
And I'm playing football
with my friends.
633
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:29,655
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com