1
00:00:01,986 --> 00:00:05,238
I'm gonna get 12 eggs
and part of a dead animal.
2
00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:07,038
Dealer's choice.
Please and thank you.
3
00:00:07,039 --> 00:00:08,239
What can I get you, Ann?
4
00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:10,341
I will have oatmeal
and berries.
5
00:00:10,842 --> 00:00:13,675
And I will have catfish
and grits,
6
00:00:14,011 --> 00:00:15,111
with pumpernickel toast.
7
00:00:15,112 --> 00:00:16,179
Explain.
8
00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:17,530
Well, instead
of getting swept up
9
00:00:17,531 --> 00:00:19,332
in my boyfriends'
personalities,
10
00:00:19,333 --> 00:00:22,068
I am dating myself
and trying new things.
11
00:00:22,069 --> 00:00:23,236
So every time
I go out to eat,
12
00:00:23,237 --> 00:00:25,438
I order one thing
that's typical me
13
00:00:25,439 --> 00:00:27,773
and then something
that I would never order.
14
00:00:27,774 --> 00:00:29,608
Now I have two best friends,
Ann and Ann.
15
00:00:29,609 --> 00:00:31,142
Each one more beautiful
than the other.
16
00:00:31,143 --> 00:00:32,777
Oh, I also
have been documenting
17
00:00:32,778 --> 00:00:35,314
all the new things I'm trying
on my blog.
18
00:00:35,315 --> 00:00:36,315
Check this out.
19
00:00:36,316 --> 00:00:37,716
I went skydiving.
20
00:00:38,818 --> 00:00:40,952
Which Ann is screaming
like a maniac?
21
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:43,589
Oatmeal Ann or catfish Ann?
22
00:00:43,590 --> 00:00:45,590
I'm not sure,
because I instantly blacked out
23
00:00:45,591 --> 00:00:46,657
from extreme terror.
24
00:00:52,264 --> 00:00:56,597
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
25
00:01:09,947 --> 00:01:12,014
Hey, I have an idea
for your blog.
26
00:01:12,015 --> 00:01:13,483
I think you should
take yourself ice-skating.
27
00:01:13,484 --> 00:01:14,618
That sounds fun.
28
00:01:14,619 --> 00:01:15,619
Yeah, we'll do a double date:
29
00:01:15,620 --> 00:01:16,752
You and you,
and me and Ben.
30
00:01:16,753 --> 00:01:17,786
But I have to warn you,
31
00:01:17,787 --> 00:01:18,787
I'm very good at ice-skating.
32
00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:20,021
I can do jumps.
33
00:01:20,022 --> 00:01:21,156
You know what?
I probably shouldn't come.
34
00:01:21,157 --> 00:01:22,758
I'll embarrass
the both of you.
35
00:01:22,759 --> 00:01:24,826
Actually, I know what
my next activity is gonna be.
36
00:01:24,827 --> 00:01:27,129
And it's a biggie.
37
00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,297
I want to be a mom.
38
00:01:28,298 --> 00:01:30,366
I'm going
to the sperm bank today.
39
00:01:30,367 --> 00:01:31,667
Can you come?
40
00:01:31,668 --> 00:01:32,833
Wow, today?
41
00:01:32,834 --> 00:01:35,870
Ann, you know
that I fully support
42
00:01:35,871 --> 00:01:37,338
any woman's decision--
43
00:01:37,339 --> 00:01:40,107
especially a beautiful
unicorn-nurse like yourself--
44
00:01:40,108 --> 00:01:42,343
in creating the family
that she wants.
45
00:01:42,344 --> 00:01:44,979
But you are so brilliant
and kind and stupid hot.
46
00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:46,213
I mean,
you're definitely gonna find
47
00:01:46,214 --> 00:01:48,382
a wonderful guy
who loves you and respects you
48
00:01:48,383 --> 00:01:50,984
and fills your home
with multi-ethnic genius babies.
49
00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:53,253
Maybe,
or maybe not.
50
00:01:53,254 --> 00:01:56,222
You hit the lottery with Ben,
and that's great,
51
00:01:56,223 --> 00:01:58,224
but not everybody's so lucky.
52
00:01:58,225 --> 00:01:59,693
I've wanted to be a mom
for a long time,
53
00:01:59,694 --> 00:02:01,728
I'm ready, and I think
I'd be good at it.
54
00:02:01,729 --> 00:02:04,164
Ann is giving up on love
55
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:05,931
and deciding
to have a baby with herself.
56
00:02:05,932 --> 00:02:08,434
And she has only been
dating herself for six weeks.
57
00:02:08,435 --> 00:02:10,770
If she were dating a guy
for six weeks,
58
00:02:10,771 --> 00:02:12,271
and they decided
to have a kid,
59
00:02:12,272 --> 00:02:14,407
I'd be like,
"Congratulations, Ann...
60
00:02:14,408 --> 00:02:16,041
And Channing Tatum."
61
00:02:16,042 --> 00:02:17,376
Because that is
the only scenario
62
00:02:17,377 --> 00:02:19,011
that would make sense to me.
63
00:02:19,012 --> 00:02:22,113
What a gorgeous
herbaceous medley.
64
00:02:22,114 --> 00:02:23,581
There's been a mistake.
65
00:02:23,582 --> 00:02:26,851
You've accidentally given me
the food that my food eats.
66
00:02:26,852 --> 00:02:28,720
Salad is traditionally
the first course at a wedding.
67
00:02:28,721 --> 00:02:31,088
Is a gerbil marrying
a rabbit?
68
00:02:31,089 --> 00:02:32,757
I'm in charge of food
for the wedding.
69
00:02:32,758 --> 00:02:35,360
So I brought in
Pawnee's three best caterers
70
00:02:35,361 --> 00:02:37,461
and a panel of experts.
71
00:02:37,462 --> 00:02:39,262
Chris loves vegetables.
72
00:02:39,263 --> 00:02:40,964
Ron loves meat.
73
00:02:40,965 --> 00:02:43,767
And Tom considers himself
a foodie,
74
00:02:43,768 --> 00:02:46,470
which apparently means
taking instagrams of food
75
00:02:46,471 --> 00:02:47,604
instead of eating it.
76
00:02:47,605 --> 00:02:50,140
Okay, so I liked number one,
77
00:02:50,141 --> 00:02:51,442
Chris liked number two,
78
00:02:51,443 --> 00:02:53,843
and Ron liked number three.
79
00:02:53,844 --> 00:02:55,578
Tom, what about you?
80
00:02:55,579 --> 00:02:58,280
Caterer number one's
presentation was simple,
81
00:02:58,281 --> 00:02:59,682
mm, yet exhausting.
82
00:02:59,683 --> 00:03:03,016
Number two's was subtle
and provocative,
83
00:03:03,053 --> 00:03:05,421
like a coy Dutch woman
guarding a dark secret.
84
00:03:05,422 --> 00:03:07,056
Nothing you're saying
is helpful.
85
00:03:07,057 --> 00:03:09,224
But number three's told
a story--
86
00:03:09,225 --> 00:03:11,660
a story from a book
I wouldn't read
87
00:03:11,661 --> 00:03:13,862
but I would watch
the movie of.
88
00:03:13,863 --> 00:03:15,096
That's nonsense.
89
00:03:15,097 --> 00:03:16,531
You know what?
90
00:03:16,532 --> 00:03:17,866
I'm gonna go
with the first place.
91
00:03:17,867 --> 00:03:19,368
I really loved that appetizer.
92
00:03:19,369 --> 00:03:20,535
Oh, the mini-calzone?
93
00:03:20,536 --> 00:03:21,603
I wouldn't call it that.
94
00:03:21,604 --> 00:03:23,338
It was more like
a savory pastry.
95
00:03:23,339 --> 00:03:25,506
Delicate little dough pocket
96
00:03:25,507 --> 00:03:28,642
filled with tomato sauce,
cheese, and seasoned meat.
97
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:30,944
Just a stunning
culinary innovation.
98
00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:32,546
It was a calzone.
99
00:03:32,547 --> 00:03:34,582
It was literally
just a small calzone.
100
00:03:34,583 --> 00:03:37,084
Let me just get some details
for your file.
101
00:03:37,085 --> 00:03:38,352
Now, are you two a couple?
102
00:03:38,353 --> 00:03:41,053
No. Tragically,
we are both heterosexual.
103
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,089
So, Ann, what
are you looking for
104
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:44,557
in particular?
105
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,726
Some sperm.
106
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,294
I meant
in terms of a donor?
107
00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:51,848
Oh, you know, nice guy...
Nice sperm.
108
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,132
Flip through this binder,
109
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,834
make a note
of anyone who interests you,
110
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:57,302
and I'll be back shortly.
111
00:03:57,303 --> 00:03:59,037
Oh!
This guy went to Harvard!
112
00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:00,138
So did the Unabomber.
113
00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:01,172
This guys seems healthy.
114
00:04:01,173 --> 00:04:02,173
Loves cycling.
115
00:04:02,174 --> 00:04:03,642
Yeah, so did Lance Armstrong,
116
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,277
and he turned out
to be a lying drug user.
117
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:06,478
Or a hero.
118
00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:08,079
I don't know where we stand
on him now.
119
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,114
Hello, ladies.
120
00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:10,315
Fancy meeting you here.
121
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:12,450
Whoa, Sewage Joe.
122
00:04:12,451 --> 00:04:14,251
Wow. Ann, you remember
Joe Fantringham.
123
00:04:14,252 --> 00:04:16,387
He is the gentleman
who was fired
124
00:04:16,388 --> 00:04:17,722
for emailing
a picture of his penis
125
00:04:17,723 --> 00:04:18,790
to every woman in city hall.
126
00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:19,990
Guilty.
127
00:04:19,991 --> 00:04:21,526
Yeah, that's what
the judge said.
128
00:04:21,527 --> 00:04:24,094
- Mmhmm.
- Joe, you are a donor here, huh?
129
00:04:24,095 --> 00:04:25,195
Did you hear that, Ann?
130
00:04:25,196 --> 00:04:26,697
Big time,
me and all my buddies.
131
00:04:26,698 --> 00:04:28,632
Free money, free porn.
132
00:04:28,633 --> 00:04:30,233
Best job I ever had.
133
00:04:30,234 --> 00:04:31,635
Also...
134
00:04:31,636 --> 00:04:33,804
If you're looking
to buy some weed,
135
00:04:33,805 --> 00:04:36,005
I'm looking as well.
136
00:04:37,275 --> 00:04:38,744
- Shall we?
- Yup.
137
00:04:40,745 --> 00:04:43,647
Okay, Leslie Knope outfit
number eight.
138
00:04:43,648 --> 00:04:45,514
Babe, you look super hot.
139
00:04:45,515 --> 00:04:47,650
You realize you've said that
about all of them?
140
00:04:47,651 --> 00:04:48,818
Well, she has,
every single time.
141
00:04:48,819 --> 00:04:50,486
'Cause she is super hot.
142
00:04:50,487 --> 00:04:52,755
Honestly,
you'd look hot naked.
143
00:04:52,756 --> 00:04:56,089
Ugh. This suit makes me want
to scold a Catholic child.
144
00:04:56,526 --> 00:04:58,494
I don't know who Ann Taylor is,
145
00:04:58,495 --> 00:04:59,995
but I hate her
and I want to kill her.
146
00:04:59,996 --> 00:05:02,997
I have to lead a public forum
for the Pawnee Commons
147
00:05:02,998 --> 00:05:04,298
every day this week,
148
00:05:04,299 --> 00:05:06,901
and I hate talking to people.
149
00:05:06,902 --> 00:05:08,135
So, to get through it,
150
00:05:08,136 --> 00:05:09,838
I figured
I'm just gonna basically try
151
00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:11,038
to imitate Leslie.
152
00:05:11,739 --> 00:05:13,341
She still wears this.
153
00:05:13,342 --> 00:05:14,742
She had the patch sewn in.
154
00:05:14,743 --> 00:05:16,444
You can't remove it.
155
00:05:16,445 --> 00:05:18,345
What's in the pocket, you ask?
156
00:05:18,346 --> 00:05:21,679
A ticket stub from
a Fleetwood Mac concert in 1995,
157
00:05:21,883 --> 00:05:23,185
and...
158
00:05:25,186 --> 00:05:26,587
This one is terrible,
159
00:05:26,588 --> 00:05:29,255
but it is slightly less terrible
than the rest.
160
00:05:29,256 --> 00:05:32,092
So tomorrow,
I lead a public forum
161
00:05:32,093 --> 00:05:34,026
in Leslie's Fleetwood Mac
sex pants.
162
00:05:34,027 --> 00:05:36,261
Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants.
New band name. I call it.
163
00:05:36,262 --> 00:05:37,597
Ooh, you know what?
164
00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:40,931
Maybe just Fleetwood Mac.
165
00:05:41,201 --> 00:05:42,535
So what's the next move?
166
00:05:42,536 --> 00:05:44,036
Is there, like,
a better sperm bank
167
00:05:44,037 --> 00:05:45,337
in Eagleton or something?
168
00:05:45,338 --> 00:05:46,839
Um, you don't want
a demon baby.
169
00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,040
Look, you're Ann Perkins.
170
00:05:48,041 --> 00:05:49,708
Sperm that is worthy
of your perfect eggs
171
00:05:49,709 --> 00:05:51,042
does not grow on trees.
172
00:05:51,043 --> 00:05:52,443
I think, ideally,
173
00:05:52,444 --> 00:05:54,579
you'd want
to know the guy, right?
174
00:05:54,580 --> 00:05:56,047
You'd want
to know his personality,
175
00:05:56,048 --> 00:05:58,082
his favorite season
of Friends,
176
00:05:58,083 --> 00:05:59,951
whether or not he hates jazz--
hopefully, he does.
177
00:05:59,952 --> 00:06:01,119
You'd want to know him.
178
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,988
Yes, Leslie,
you're totally right.
179
00:06:02,989 --> 00:06:04,322
I'm gonna go home,
180
00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:05,689
and I'm gonna make a list
181
00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:07,958
of all the guys I already know
who could be donors.
182
00:06:07,959 --> 00:06:09,827
And then,
I'm gonna call them
183
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:10,995
and tell them
I'm doing some blog entry
184
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:12,830
on men's health or something.
185
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,798
I can interview them
and ask them whatever I want.
186
00:06:14,799 --> 00:06:16,099
You're a genius!
187
00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:17,134
This is your idea,
and I love it.
188
00:06:17,135 --> 00:06:18,168
I'll call you later.
189
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:19,770
No.
190
00:06:19,771 --> 00:06:21,604
If I don't slow
this baby train down,
191
00:06:21,605 --> 00:06:24,140
Ann may end up having a baby
with some random weirdo
192
00:06:24,141 --> 00:06:25,408
instead of her soul mate.
193
00:06:25,409 --> 00:06:26,475
I fully believe
194
00:06:26,476 --> 00:06:27,610
that a woman
should be in charge
195
00:06:27,611 --> 00:06:29,045
of what happens
to her body.
196
00:06:29,046 --> 00:06:31,180
In this case,
the body is Ann's,
197
00:06:31,181 --> 00:06:33,416
and the woman
in charge of it is me.
198
00:06:35,510 --> 00:06:36,759
I was up all night brainstorming
199
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,559
and this is
the complete official list
200
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,896
of candidates
for Ann's baby daddy.
201
00:06:40,897 --> 00:06:43,231
Wow, how did you come up
with these three names?
202
00:06:43,482 --> 00:06:45,617
Well, I eliminated everyone
in a relationship
203
00:06:45,618 --> 00:06:46,817
and the obvious "No" s,
204
00:06:46,818 --> 00:06:48,886
like Knuckle-hair Dave
from HR.
205
00:06:48,887 --> 00:06:50,021
I don't mind the knuckle hair.
206
00:06:50,022 --> 00:06:51,622
- I just think he's a dick.
- Yeah.
207
00:06:51,623 --> 00:06:53,624
And I was left
with those three guys.
208
00:06:53,625 --> 00:06:55,592
Don't forget, they don't know
about the sperm donor thing.
209
00:06:55,593 --> 00:06:56,926
I don't want them to know.
210
00:06:56,927 --> 00:06:58,662
I told them I was
interviewing them for a blog.
211
00:06:58,663 --> 00:07:00,164
Here comes the first one.
Dr. Harris!
212
00:07:00,165 --> 00:07:01,165
- H-hey, there he is.
- Hi.
213
00:07:01,166 --> 00:07:02,633
Ann, Leslie.
214
00:07:03,134 --> 00:07:04,501
Small office.
Mine's way bigger.
215
00:07:04,502 --> 00:07:06,970
Is this gonna take long?
Got a patient coming in.
216
00:07:06,971 --> 00:07:09,338
No, not at all.
Please have a seat.
217
00:07:09,339 --> 00:07:11,040
Actually, maybe you should
check in on your patient.
218
00:07:11,041 --> 00:07:13,075
I know that I hate it
when my doctor makes me wait.
219
00:07:13,076 --> 00:07:14,310
Guy's got a spinal fracture.
220
00:07:14,311 --> 00:07:15,344
He's not going anywhere.
221
00:07:15,345 --> 00:07:16,979
- Uh-huh.
- Ooh.
222
00:07:16,980 --> 00:07:18,847
The seats in my office
are leather.
223
00:07:18,848 --> 00:07:20,849
Okay.
224
00:07:24,787 --> 00:07:25,887
Chris?
225
00:07:26,188 --> 00:07:27,889
I'm dying.
226
00:07:27,890 --> 00:07:29,591
I was dying earlier today.
227
00:07:30,092 --> 00:07:31,726
And then I died.
228
00:07:32,227 --> 00:07:33,427
Now I'm dead.
229
00:07:33,428 --> 00:07:34,696
I had to cancel a date
230
00:07:34,697 --> 00:07:36,398
with Shauna Malwae-Tweep.
231
00:07:36,399 --> 00:07:37,699
And I really like her.
232
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,202
Do you think
she'll still like me
233
00:07:40,203 --> 00:07:41,235
now that I'm dead?
234
00:07:41,236 --> 00:07:42,836
What is this?
235
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:45,939
It's food poisoning.
I have it too.
236
00:07:46,190 --> 00:07:48,959
I did not sleep
for one second last night.
237
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,027
And I cracked the bottom
of the toilet bowl.
238
00:07:51,028 --> 00:07:52,628
Oh, God, don't say that.
239
00:07:52,629 --> 00:07:54,296
Has anybody talked to Tom?
240
00:07:54,297 --> 00:07:55,765
I can't even imagine
241
00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:58,100
what that tiny little man
must be feeling like.
242
00:07:58,101 --> 00:07:59,702
I have voided more
than Tom's body weight
243
00:07:59,703 --> 00:08:01,971
in the last 12 hours alone.
244
00:08:01,972 --> 00:08:03,806
He might have just disappeared
off the earth.
245
00:08:03,807 --> 00:08:06,609
We need to call him.
We must reach out to him.
246
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:12,380
I can't do it.
247
00:08:23,158 --> 00:08:25,759
Ben, extension 7820.
248
00:08:37,571 --> 00:08:38,873
Hello, everyone.
249
00:08:38,874 --> 00:08:41,273
I'm April Ludgate
from the Parks Department.
250
00:08:41,274 --> 00:08:45,507
And welcome to a public forum
about the Pawnee Commons.
251
00:08:45,579 --> 00:08:48,381
As Eleanor Roosevelt once said
252
00:08:48,382 --> 00:08:51,283
to Betty Ford...
253
00:08:51,284 --> 00:08:53,152
"Hillary Clinton is great."
254
00:08:53,653 --> 00:08:56,986
Now, if you all would
kindly look under your chairs,
255
00:08:57,356 --> 00:08:59,357
you will find
a special surprise--
256
00:08:59,358 --> 00:09:01,827
a flyer with details
about the project,
257
00:09:01,828 --> 00:09:04,229
and... Friendship bands
258
00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:06,532
that I've made
for each and every one of you.
259
00:09:06,533 --> 00:09:09,835
So now,
I guess we're Park Pals.
260
00:09:09,836 --> 00:09:11,602
You should see the booger
under this chair.
261
00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:13,004
Andy.
262
00:09:13,505 --> 00:09:15,239
It's nice
to see you again, Ann.
263
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:16,407
I was happy to get the call.
264
00:09:16,408 --> 00:09:18,709
- Yeah, Pete, you look great.
- Aww.
265
00:09:18,710 --> 00:09:21,345
So are you still
dunking basketballs?
266
00:09:21,346 --> 00:09:22,947
You know, I'm a lot more
267
00:09:22,948 --> 00:09:25,149
than just a former
high school basketball star.
268
00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:27,884
I teach marketing over
at Pawnee Community College.
269
00:09:27,885 --> 00:09:29,719
- Oh, that's great.
- Yeah.
270
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:33,053
Would you say
you value education?
271
00:09:34,224 --> 00:09:36,359
I see what's going on here.
272
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:37,928
You want my sperm.
273
00:09:37,929 --> 00:09:40,463
What?
What are you talking about?
274
00:09:40,464 --> 00:09:41,598
When will women
in this town
275
00:09:41,599 --> 00:09:44,433
stop scheming
to get my sperm?
276
00:09:44,434 --> 00:09:45,801
Wow.
277
00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:48,037
That son of a bitch is astute.
278
00:09:48,038 --> 00:09:49,404
Okay, all I need to do
279
00:09:49,405 --> 00:09:51,139
is just shoot
one more person down
280
00:09:51,140 --> 00:09:52,474
and then I can
buy some time
281
00:09:52,475 --> 00:09:55,808
and convince Ann to wait
for her own Ben-level soul mate.
282
00:09:56,379 --> 00:09:59,114
The last guy
is Howard Tuttleman.
283
00:09:59,115 --> 00:10:00,514
I know that name.
284
00:10:00,515 --> 00:10:01,983
How do I know that name?
285
00:10:01,984 --> 00:10:03,417
I know it's a winter's morn,
286
00:10:03,418 --> 00:10:05,152
but it feels
like a summer's eve,
287
00:10:05,153 --> 00:10:07,822
'cause "the Douche"
is in the building.
288
00:10:07,823 --> 00:10:10,825
What's up, ladies?
289
00:10:12,962 --> 00:10:14,562
Oh, whoa!
290
00:10:14,563 --> 00:10:16,329
Smells like some vomit
took a dump in here.
291
00:10:16,330 --> 00:10:17,363
What happened?
292
00:10:17,364 --> 00:10:19,165
We got food poisoning, Tom.
293
00:10:19,166 --> 00:10:20,233
Yuck.
294
00:10:20,234 --> 00:10:22,168
How do you
not have food poisoning?
295
00:10:22,169 --> 00:10:23,971
Because he didn't eat
anything.
296
00:10:23,972 --> 00:10:25,238
He just took pictures
297
00:10:25,239 --> 00:10:27,407
and talked
about the "wow" factor.
298
00:10:27,408 --> 00:10:29,042
Not true.
I ate everything you did.
299
00:10:29,043 --> 00:10:30,243
Are you sure?
300
00:10:30,244 --> 00:10:31,911
Is there anything
that you didn't eat?
301
00:10:31,912 --> 00:10:33,145
Oh, yeah.
302
00:10:33,146 --> 00:10:34,346
I didn't eat
those stupid mini-calzones.
303
00:10:34,347 --> 00:10:36,782
Haver-food rule number six--
304
00:10:36,783 --> 00:10:38,985
never eat anything with
a sauce I have to dip myself.
305
00:10:38,986 --> 00:10:40,385
Drizzle it on for me.
306
00:10:40,386 --> 00:10:41,954
I'm not your maid.
307
00:10:41,955 --> 00:10:44,957
The calzones... betrayed me?
308
00:10:44,958 --> 00:10:46,492
Never again, guys.
309
00:10:46,493 --> 00:10:48,526
As God as my witness,
310
00:10:48,527 --> 00:10:49,828
they're dead to me.
311
00:10:49,829 --> 00:10:51,997
All right, well,
Tommy feels great.
312
00:10:51,998 --> 00:10:54,099
And I'm about
to go eat some lasagna.
313
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:55,266
Peace!
314
00:10:57,269 --> 00:11:00,138
I'm afraid this park
will raise my taxes.
315
00:11:00,139 --> 00:11:01,840
Ah, well, fear not.
316
00:11:01,841 --> 00:11:04,141
Between the normal Parks budget
and our corporate partners--
317
00:11:04,142 --> 00:11:06,476
- I'm also afraid
the park will be noisy.
318
00:11:06,477 --> 00:11:07,945
And full of spiders.
319
00:11:07,946 --> 00:11:09,346
And dark at nighttime.
320
00:11:09,347 --> 00:11:11,448
I'm scared of a lot of stuff.
321
00:11:11,449 --> 00:11:13,117
Everything's fine.
322
00:11:13,118 --> 00:11:15,318
I'm fine.
I'm Walter, and I'm fine.
323
00:11:15,319 --> 00:11:17,387
Is this gonna be
a topless park?
324
00:11:17,388 --> 00:11:20,156
I don't think there are
topless parks.
325
00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:22,025
Well, let's build
the first one
326
00:11:22,026 --> 00:11:23,660
and be heroes.
327
00:11:23,661 --> 00:11:25,227
If this is going to be
a topless park,
328
00:11:25,228 --> 00:11:27,030
I won't sign your petition.
329
00:11:27,031 --> 00:11:28,765
If she's going
to the topless park,
330
00:11:28,766 --> 00:11:32,099
I'm not signing
the topless park petition.
331
00:11:32,569 --> 00:11:34,704
You know, I take that back,
I'm still in.
332
00:11:34,705 --> 00:11:36,237
What's up?
I'm Harris.
333
00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:39,107
Yeah, yeah. Forget whatever
that Pawnee Commons is.
334
00:11:39,108 --> 00:11:40,241
I'm with that pervert.
335
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:42,510
Topless park.
Topless park!
336
00:11:42,511 --> 00:11:45,313
- Topless park!
- Topless park!
337
00:11:45,314 --> 00:11:47,015
Where'd you go
to school again?
338
00:11:47,016 --> 00:11:49,250
Northwestern.
I studied semiotics.
339
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:52,252
Wrote a thesis on narrative
forms in the digital world.
340
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,854
Then you became
a morning shock-jock
341
00:11:53,855 --> 00:11:56,957
and created
the sport "taint ball"?
342
00:11:56,958 --> 00:11:58,592
Yeah. You know,
the Douche persona
343
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,394
is something I came up with
during college.
344
00:12:00,395 --> 00:12:02,229
It started as satire,
345
00:12:02,230 --> 00:12:04,098
and, you know, we snowballed
to where we are today.
346
00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:05,700
I mean, I know it's
a silly thing to do,
347
00:12:05,701 --> 00:12:07,201
but it pays the bills.
348
00:12:07,202 --> 00:12:08,668
Well, I think, you probably
need to get back to the studio,
349
00:12:08,669 --> 00:12:11,370
play some fart jokes,
make fun of some immigrants.
350
00:12:11,371 --> 00:12:14,373
Actually, a farting immigrant
segment would be really funny.
351
00:12:14,374 --> 00:12:15,975
Ay dios...
352
00:12:16,976 --> 00:12:18,344
Good looking out, Leslie.
353
00:12:18,345 --> 00:12:19,979
You guys ever want
to do this again,
354
00:12:19,980 --> 00:12:21,948
sans clothing,
give me a shout.
355
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:23,849
- Gross.
- That was the Douche talking.
356
00:12:23,850 --> 00:12:25,617
Honestly, good luck
on this project.
357
00:12:25,618 --> 00:12:27,385
It sounds really interesting.
358
00:12:27,386 --> 00:12:28,987
I'm gonna scan a quick pic
of them boobies
359
00:12:28,988 --> 00:12:32,157
for a little deposit
in "El banco de spanko."
360
00:12:32,158 --> 00:12:33,692
That was the Douche talking.
361
00:12:33,693 --> 00:12:34,960
Douche nation.
362
00:12:34,961 --> 00:12:36,929
You guys know
where the library is?
363
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,131
Wow.
Okay, that's not gonna work.
364
00:12:39,132 --> 00:12:40,598
Back to the drawing board.
365
00:12:40,599 --> 00:12:42,266
No need.
I choose Howard.
366
00:12:42,267 --> 00:12:44,102
You want to have a baby
with the Douche?
367
00:12:44,103 --> 00:12:45,970
His name's Howard Tuttleman,
Leslie.
368
00:12:45,971 --> 00:12:48,106
And I know he plays
that obnoxious character
369
00:12:48,107 --> 00:12:49,907
on the radio,
but he's a good guy,
370
00:12:49,908 --> 00:12:51,442
his family is healthy,
371
00:12:51,443 --> 00:12:53,310
and he is successful
and smart.
372
00:12:53,311 --> 00:12:54,979
Ann, you cannot be serious.
373
00:12:54,980 --> 00:12:57,047
I am.
And I've made my decision.
374
00:12:57,048 --> 00:12:59,750
- I am sure of it.
Okay.
375
00:12:59,751 --> 00:13:01,952
Douche!
Hey, Douche!
376
00:13:02,453 --> 00:13:03,653
Councilman Howser.
377
00:13:03,654 --> 00:13:05,155
Councilwoman Knope.
378
00:13:05,156 --> 00:13:06,623
'Sup, Leslie?
379
00:13:06,624 --> 00:13:09,226
You wanna funk this junk
in the back of my trunk?
380
00:13:09,227 --> 00:13:10,994
That was the Douche talking.
381
00:13:10,995 --> 00:13:13,129
Okay, look,
Ann is not interviewing you
382
00:13:13,130 --> 00:13:14,463
for her blog.
383
00:13:14,464 --> 00:13:15,865
She's thinking
about having a baby,
384
00:13:15,866 --> 00:13:18,968
and she's considering you
as a possible donor.
385
00:13:18,969 --> 00:13:19,969
Wow.
386
00:13:21,371 --> 00:13:23,605
You know, I've thought a lot
about having kids.
387
00:13:23,606 --> 00:13:25,207
It's the next big step
388
00:13:25,208 --> 00:13:27,442
in this grand adventure
that we call life.
389
00:13:27,443 --> 00:13:28,542
Frankly, I don't think
you would be
390
00:13:28,543 --> 00:13:29,644
the right man for the job.
391
00:13:29,645 --> 00:13:30,812
Well, frankly,
392
00:13:30,813 --> 00:13:31,913
I don't think
it's for you to decide.
393
00:13:31,914 --> 00:13:33,547
You know, if we had
a little girl,
394
00:13:33,548 --> 00:13:35,349
I would name her Elizabeth,
after my grandmother.
395
00:13:35,350 --> 00:13:38,452
She was this strong,
amazing woman.
396
00:13:38,453 --> 00:13:40,321
And if we had a boy,
397
00:13:40,322 --> 00:13:41,589
I don't know,
I'd name him something funny,
398
00:13:41,590 --> 00:13:43,491
like "Dick" or "O. J."
399
00:13:44,558 --> 00:13:46,126
Guess I have
a lot to consider.
400
00:13:46,127 --> 00:13:47,345
My God.
401
00:13:47,796 --> 00:13:50,831
I have driven Ann right
into the belly of the Douche.
402
00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:53,632
- Hey, what's up?
- Oh, nothing.
403
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:54,733
I was listening
to the radio
404
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:55,934
on my way here,
405
00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:57,002
and I heard something
very interesting.
406
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,870
So, Crazy Ira,
407
00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:00,339
remember that chick Ann
I used to...
408
00:14:02,391 --> 00:14:04,326
Yeah, she was smoking hot!
409
00:14:05,829 --> 00:14:10,130
Turns out, she wants
to have my baby.
410
00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:13,100
Anyway, her lesbo friend
tells me
411
00:14:13,101 --> 00:14:15,369
she's on the prowl
for some baby beans...
412
00:14:16,738 --> 00:14:19,206
And it's down to me
and some other turd-munchers.
413
00:14:21,209 --> 00:14:23,343
Wow.
You should be angry.
414
00:14:23,344 --> 00:14:24,978
I can't believe
Howard did that to you.
415
00:14:24,979 --> 00:14:27,848
I can't believe
you did that to me.
416
00:14:27,849 --> 00:14:30,584
I am making
a very important life decision,
417
00:14:30,585 --> 00:14:32,151
and you betrayed me.
418
00:14:32,152 --> 00:14:33,553
Because I thought
you were making a huge mistake.
419
00:14:33,554 --> 00:14:34,788
Look, I get it.
420
00:14:34,789 --> 00:14:36,022
I know you're frustrated
with dating,
421
00:14:36,023 --> 00:14:37,591
and you think you're
not gonna meet someone,
422
00:14:37,592 --> 00:14:39,424
but two years ago,
I didn't think
423
00:14:39,425 --> 00:14:41,026
I would meet someone like Ben,
and I did.
424
00:14:41,027 --> 00:14:42,427
My idea of a perfect family
425
00:14:42,428 --> 00:14:44,797
does not require a soul mate.
426
00:14:44,798 --> 00:14:47,633
I want a baby, that's it,
accept it.
427
00:14:49,168 --> 00:14:50,736
Councilman Milton,
do we have a meeting?
428
00:14:50,737 --> 00:14:52,004
Oh, no, no, no.
429
00:14:52,005 --> 00:14:54,539
I just wanted to toss
my name into the ring,
430
00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:57,873
in respect
to this Indian woman's vagina.
431
00:15:00,345 --> 00:15:02,480
Hey, how was the forum?
432
00:15:02,481 --> 00:15:04,281
Um, crappy.
433
00:15:04,282 --> 00:15:06,317
We only got four signatures.
434
00:15:06,318 --> 00:15:07,652
Two of them were me and Andy,
435
00:15:07,653 --> 00:15:09,988
and one of them
said "Farts McCool."
436
00:15:09,989 --> 00:15:12,523
I just don't know
how Leslie can be Leslie
437
00:15:12,524 --> 00:15:13,690
all the time.
438
00:15:13,691 --> 00:15:17,024
I was her for two hours
and I want to die.
439
00:15:17,294 --> 00:15:18,461
Well, you know what?
440
00:15:18,462 --> 00:15:19,897
We've got another forum today.
441
00:15:19,898 --> 00:15:21,999
Let's just hop back
in that saddle.
442
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,934
What should I do?
Should I wear a blonde wig?
443
00:15:23,935 --> 00:15:25,002
Oh, my God, yes.
444
00:15:25,003 --> 00:15:27,503
- That would be so hot.
- Andy.
445
00:15:27,504 --> 00:15:29,038
If you think--if you--
do you think it would help?
446
00:15:29,039 --> 00:15:31,306
I mean, if you think
it'd help you.
447
00:15:32,475 --> 00:15:34,343
Well, I'm feeling
so much better.
448
00:15:34,344 --> 00:15:37,379
Almost no weird stuff snuck out
of my body last night.
449
00:15:37,380 --> 00:15:39,114
And I feel like the emptiness
of my stomach
450
00:15:39,115 --> 00:15:40,816
is gonna lead
to a pretty epic breakfast.
451
00:15:40,817 --> 00:15:42,018
Guys, what do I do?
452
00:15:42,019 --> 00:15:43,818
My choice almost killed us,
453
00:15:43,819 --> 00:15:46,154
and we can't agree
on another one, so--
454
00:15:46,155 --> 00:15:47,722
Maybe there's
a catering company
455
00:15:47,723 --> 00:15:50,025
in Snerling
that we should look into.
456
00:15:50,026 --> 00:15:51,726
No, it has to be
from Pawnee.
457
00:15:51,727 --> 00:15:52,827
I just know
that's what Leslie wants.
458
00:15:52,828 --> 00:15:53,828
I got it.
459
00:15:53,829 --> 00:15:55,163
This might sound crazy,
460
00:15:55,164 --> 00:15:58,299
but Jean-Ralphio has started
a catering company.
461
00:15:58,300 --> 00:15:59,733
He has?
462
00:15:59,734 --> 00:16:00,968
Now, granted,
he is currently
463
00:16:00,969 --> 00:16:02,302
standing trial
for counterfeiting Euros,
464
00:16:02,303 --> 00:16:04,572
but the trial's
gonna be over quick.
465
00:16:04,573 --> 00:16:05,806
He's definitely guilty.
466
00:16:05,807 --> 00:16:07,139
Ugh, forget it.
467
00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:10,443
Dry toast
and half a grapefruit for Chris.
468
00:16:10,444 --> 00:16:11,544
Thank you.
469
00:16:11,545 --> 00:16:12,845
- Egg whites for Ben.
- Thank you.
470
00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:14,814
Egg whites for Tom,
471
00:16:14,815 --> 00:16:18,148
and pretty much
everything we make for Ron.
472
00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:19,418
And don't you go sneaking off.
473
00:16:19,419 --> 00:16:22,055
I'm sending home
some free waffles for Leslie.
474
00:16:22,056 --> 00:16:24,489
Thanks, JJ.
You're the best.
475
00:16:26,926 --> 00:16:28,460
Okay, we're back.
476
00:16:28,461 --> 00:16:31,463
We, uh, got an update
on "Operation...
477
00:16:31,464 --> 00:16:32,864
Baby Douche."
478
00:16:34,233 --> 00:16:37,566
All right, special guest
is Councilwoman Leslie Knope.
479
00:16:37,704 --> 00:16:39,837
- How are you, Les?
- "Me so horny."
480
00:16:39,838 --> 00:16:40,871
That was not me.
481
00:16:40,872 --> 00:16:41,939
That was
a farcical sound effect.
482
00:16:41,940 --> 00:16:43,440
Did she say "fartsicle"?
483
00:16:44,843 --> 00:16:48,045
The fartsicle.
Frozen farts you can eat.
484
00:16:48,046 --> 00:16:50,881
Put it in your face-mouth!
485
00:16:50,882 --> 00:16:52,883
It's cold and it smells.
486
00:16:52,884 --> 00:16:54,618
God, how did you make that
so fast?
487
00:16:54,619 --> 00:16:56,319
Anyway, look, I am here
488
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:57,420
because I want you
to stop talking
489
00:16:57,421 --> 00:16:59,255
about my friend's womb.
490
00:16:59,256 --> 00:17:00,757
Sorry, Councilwoman.
I'm in it to win it.
491
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:02,191
The Douche is gonna be
a daddy.
492
00:17:02,192 --> 00:17:05,525
And Crazy Ira's gonna be
the creepy uncle.
493
00:17:05,630 --> 00:17:07,063
Okay, all right.
494
00:17:07,064 --> 00:17:08,832
Look, she is
a wonderful person,
495
00:17:08,833 --> 00:17:10,133
and she does not
deserve this.
496
00:17:10,134 --> 00:17:11,233
So I need you to lay off.
497
00:17:11,234 --> 00:17:12,968
Okay, I will lay off
498
00:17:12,969 --> 00:17:16,302
if you can survive one round
with Breasty Bertha in...
499
00:17:17,607 --> 00:17:19,374
The Jell-o Pit!
500
00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:22,210
Rudy! Get in the Jell-o.
501
00:17:22,211 --> 00:17:24,146
Okay, I am
a city councilwoman,
502
00:17:24,147 --> 00:17:25,247
so I am not gonna
Jell-o wrestle.
503
00:17:25,248 --> 00:17:26,448
I mean, this is fun.
504
00:17:26,449 --> 00:17:27,715
Don't you want
your constituents to know
505
00:17:27,716 --> 00:17:29,050
that you got a fun side?
506
00:17:29,051 --> 00:17:30,785
Yeah, show your fun sides.
507
00:17:30,786 --> 00:17:32,386
This is not about me
and my constituents!
508
00:17:32,387 --> 00:17:34,188
This is about you talking
about my friend.
509
00:17:34,189 --> 00:17:36,124
All right, I will stop talking
about your friend
510
00:17:36,125 --> 00:17:37,792
if you get in that Jell-o
for one second
511
00:17:37,793 --> 00:17:39,093
- and say, "Rudy."
- Rudy.
512
00:17:39,094 --> 00:17:41,062
- 'Cause The Cosby Show.
- Classic.
513
00:17:41,063 --> 00:17:42,363
Classic.
514
00:17:42,364 --> 00:17:44,031
Fine, I will stand there
for one second
515
00:17:44,032 --> 00:17:45,198
and say it,
and then we're done.
516
00:17:45,199 --> 00:17:46,566
- Fair's fair.
- Fair's fair.
517
00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:48,568
Somebody get me
a pudding pop.
518
00:17:48,569 --> 00:17:49,602
Oh!
519
00:17:49,603 --> 00:17:52,773
Yeah!
520
00:17:53,074 --> 00:17:53,907
Rudy.
521
00:17:53,908 --> 00:17:55,108
There, happy?
522
00:17:55,109 --> 00:17:58,442
No, say it like Bill Cosby.
523
00:17:58,546 --> 00:18:01,113
Rudy.
524
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:02,948
- I don't know.
- Yeah!
525
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,550
Oh, she's touching
her boobs now.
526
00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:06,351
No, I'm not.
I'm just standing here.
527
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:08,721
And I am leaving, just like
you're gonna leave Ann alone.
528
00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:11,623
Oh, she's in there!
529
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:12,792
She's into it now!
530
00:18:12,793 --> 00:18:14,359
Oh, Rudy has fallen
into the Jell-o.
531
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,461
Theo, now there's Jell-o
532
00:18:17,462 --> 00:18:19,664
all over
my favorite sweater.
533
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:20,932
And the gold medal
534
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,902
goes to Leslie Knope!
535
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:25,403
Okay, can you give me
that bag?
536
00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:27,105
I have to go change
into my Leslie suit.
537
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,007
You got it, babe.
538
00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:30,175
Thanks.
539
00:18:31,576 --> 00:18:32,843
Andy!
540
00:18:32,844 --> 00:18:34,511
- What?
- This is the wrong bag.
541
00:18:34,512 --> 00:18:35,746
What?
542
00:18:35,747 --> 00:18:36,780
This bag is full
of Fruit Roll-Ups
543
00:18:36,781 --> 00:18:37,915
and baseball cards.
544
00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:39,817
I don't have
my Leslie pantsuit
545
00:18:39,818 --> 00:18:41,685
or my Leslie headband
or my Leslie notes.
546
00:18:41,686 --> 00:18:43,887
I can't do this meeting
without my Leslie stuff.
547
00:18:43,888 --> 00:18:45,488
- Honey, I am so sorry.
- Andy!
548
00:18:45,489 --> 00:18:46,590
I guess
I must have screwed up.
549
00:18:46,591 --> 00:18:48,224
Look, you look amazing
in this outfit.
550
00:18:48,225 --> 00:18:50,827
Plus you're the smartest person
on the planet.
551
00:18:50,828 --> 00:18:52,428
I think you can do this
just being yourself.
552
00:18:56,466 --> 00:18:57,834
Yeah, so how much money
553
00:18:57,835 --> 00:19:00,903
is this whole Pawnee Commons
project gonna cost me?
554
00:19:00,904 --> 00:19:02,205
Uh, good question.
555
00:19:02,206 --> 00:19:05,340
40% will be coming
from our corporate partners,
556
00:19:05,341 --> 00:19:07,275
- and another 30%--
- Excuse me, ma'am.
557
00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:08,944
I didn't ask
for a math lesson.
558
00:19:08,945 --> 00:19:11,412
So why don't you just tell me
how much it's gonna cost me?
559
00:19:11,413 --> 00:19:14,482
And don't use numbers.
560
00:19:14,483 --> 00:19:17,085
Look, you won't have
to pay any extra money, okay?
561
00:19:17,086 --> 00:19:18,919
And don't ever
call me "ma'am" again.
562
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:20,955
Thanks.
Next question.
563
00:19:20,956 --> 00:19:23,590
Yeah, I wanted to talk more
about that topless park idea
564
00:19:23,591 --> 00:19:25,760
that a local hero
brought up yesterday.
565
00:19:25,761 --> 00:19:27,228
Yeah, there's not gonna be
a topless park, Harris.
566
00:19:27,229 --> 00:19:29,296
Nobody wants
your creepy stoner eyes
567
00:19:29,297 --> 00:19:31,031
staring at them while
they're enjoying a park, okay?
568
00:19:31,032 --> 00:19:33,300
Stop being gross.
569
00:19:33,801 --> 00:19:35,135
Yeah.
570
00:19:35,136 --> 00:19:36,870
Shut me down!
571
00:19:36,871 --> 00:19:38,138
You scare me,
572
00:19:38,139 --> 00:19:41,040
and I gotta say,
I kinda dig that.
573
00:19:41,041 --> 00:19:42,308
What's your deal?
574
00:19:42,809 --> 00:19:44,644
She's married to me.
575
00:19:44,645 --> 00:19:46,512
I heard you on the radio.
576
00:19:46,513 --> 00:19:48,648
- Thanks for doing that.
- Got dicey.
577
00:19:48,649 --> 00:19:50,583
But they did invite me
to participate
578
00:19:50,584 --> 00:19:52,484
in their
topless Jell-o-lympics...
579
00:19:52,485 --> 00:19:54,820
- Oh.
- So that's something.
580
00:19:54,821 --> 00:19:57,823
It is possible
that you were right.
581
00:19:57,824 --> 00:20:01,026
This is obviously
a huge decision,
582
00:20:01,027 --> 00:20:03,228
and I should take my time.
583
00:20:03,229 --> 00:20:04,696
I want you
to be happy, you know?
584
00:20:04,697 --> 00:20:06,031
I-I guess I just didn't consider
585
00:20:06,032 --> 00:20:07,298
that you would take
a different path than I did.
586
00:20:07,299 --> 00:20:09,667
I tried
to impose my dream on you,
587
00:20:09,668 --> 00:20:10,968
and that's wrong.
588
00:20:10,969 --> 00:20:12,036
And I'm sorry.
589
00:20:12,037 --> 00:20:13,404
But I think you do need
590
00:20:13,405 --> 00:20:14,906
to take a little bit more time
with this decision.
591
00:20:14,907 --> 00:20:17,108
Maybe employ
a more methodical approach.
592
00:20:17,109 --> 00:20:20,442
One that involves
color-coded binders.
593
00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:22,879
Is that a drawing
594
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,648
of my reproductive system
saying "Let's do this"?
595
00:20:25,649 --> 00:20:28,484
The Knope way involves
a lot of uterine cartoons.
596
00:20:28,485 --> 00:20:29,519
What can I tell you?
597
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,421
Besides,
what is more cuter-us
598
00:20:31,422 --> 00:20:32,823
than your uterus?
599
00:20:33,324 --> 00:20:34,925
- You ready, Ann?
- Yeah, I'm ready.
600
00:20:34,926 --> 00:20:36,492
- We're in it now.
- Yes, we are.
601
00:20:36,493 --> 00:20:37,627
Let's make a baby together.
602
00:20:38,128 --> 00:20:39,361
You should phrase that
differently.
603
00:20:39,362 --> 00:20:40,395
Right.
604
00:20:41,612 --> 00:20:43,359
Are you sure you're cool
with JJ's Diner
605
00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:44,927
catering what
you've referred to
606
00:20:44,928 --> 00:20:46,595
as "The Wedding
of the Millennium"?
607
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,329
Are you kidding me?
608
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,931
I thought that I could not love
you any more than I already did.
609
00:20:50,932 --> 00:20:52,368
But I was dead wrong.
610
00:20:54,219 --> 00:20:57,552
- Is that smoke?
- Hmm?
611
00:20:58,039 --> 00:21:01,208
- Hey! What are you doing?
- Celebrating.
612
00:21:01,209 --> 00:21:03,877
We got 80 signatures
and, like, 30 complaints
613
00:21:03,878 --> 00:21:05,512
of excessive rudeness,
but who cares?
614
00:21:05,513 --> 00:21:07,180
Yeah, you should have
seen her, Leslie.
615
00:21:07,181 --> 00:21:10,016
She was awesome.
So smart, so hot, so mean.
616
00:21:10,017 --> 00:21:12,551
I wanted to bone her right there
in that dirty church basement.
617
00:21:12,552 --> 00:21:14,070
No, what are you doing?
618
00:21:14,071 --> 00:21:17,404
Uh, we are burning
this awful pantsuit.
619
00:21:17,408 --> 00:21:18,575
That's mine.
620
00:21:18,576 --> 00:21:19,909
I wanted that back.
621
00:21:20,310 --> 00:21:22,110
Well, frankly,
you should have thought of that
622
00:21:22,111 --> 00:21:23,779
before we burned it.
623
00:21:24,279 --> 00:21:29,300
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com