1
00:00:00,931 --> 00:00:02,051
_
2
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This is the best night ever.
3
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I wish
we were getting married tonight.
4
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Let's just do it then.
5
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Leslie...
6
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Let's get married.
7
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Tonight.
8
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- Are we really doing this?
- I gue--
9
00:00:17,831 --> 00:00:19,065
Why not?
10
00:00:19,066 --> 00:00:20,566
The gala ends at 11:00.
11
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At 11:01, we get married.
12
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Okay... But, wait,
my mom isn't here.
13
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- And your parents aren't here.
- Good.
14
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Yeah, that makes it better.
15
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But we reserved a space
for May 16th.
16
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And we just ordered
200 white-chocolate top hats.
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- We did?
- You did, actually.
18
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It's under your name.
19
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Leslie, we can get married
May 16th,
20
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or June 1st,
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or July 57th.
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But doesn't it feel right,
today?
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Yeah, it does.
24
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Every time you say it,
it just feels more right.
25
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Oh, my God,
we're getting married tonight.
26
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- This is really great.
- Yeah.
27
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You're
either in or your out, buddy.
28
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Iit was my idea,
I'm totally in.
29
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Wait, no.
30
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We can't--
this is our wedding day.
31
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This is very bad luck,
turn around.
32
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We can't look at each other!
33
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Well, you are aware
that we've seen each other
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several times today.
35
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We have two hours to do this.
36
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I want you
to get everyone together,
37
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and meet me at Ann's house
in ten minutes.
38
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Okay. Oh, wait,
before we get married,
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there is something we need
to discuss.
40
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I mean, we've never talked
about it,
41
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but I really want you
to take my last name.
42
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Oh! Oh.
43
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Okay. Really?
44
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Yeah, it's just
really important to me,
45
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symbolically,
46
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that Leslie Knope disappears
47
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and becomes Leslie Wyatt.
48
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Or Councilwoman Mrs. Ben Wyatt.
49
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That's fine too.
50
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It's a deal breaker.
51
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Wait, are you messing with me?
52
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Sorry, I had
to give it a shot.
53
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Ben, now go, run!
Okay, okay.
54
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Wait.
Where do I go?
55
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Run!
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Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
57
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The falcon is entering!
58
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The turtledove acknowledges!
59
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Hey, where are you?
I'm-I'm here.
60
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Okay, let's go over the duties
right now.
61
00:02:02,129 --> 00:02:03,129
Ann, you're
in charge of the dress
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and the hair and the makeup.
63
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And I was thinking, like,
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the sensuality
of Eleanor Roosevelt
65
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combined with the animal
magnetism of Lesley Stahl.
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Piece of cake.
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Oh, we have
to get the wedding cake.
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I'll do that too.
69
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I'm perfectly calm.
70
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I feel like every crazy thing
Leslie's ever had me do
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has been, like a drill,
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and today is the real thing.
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I'm ready, because I had
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the greatest teacher
in the world.
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Leslie.
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Who is crazy.
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Also, we need rings
and marriage licenses.
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Oh, let me be on rings.
I love what they symbolize.
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- Great.
- And I can do the license.
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I got a guy
that works at City Hall.
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That guy's my wife.
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- Um, you also work there.
- Oh, yeah.
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Ron, I'm gonna need you
to walk me down the aisle.
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It would be an honor,
and the first time
85
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I won't regret
walking down the aisle.
86
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Oh, uh, yikes.
87
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- We need an officiant.
- I got this.
88
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You can become
an ordained minister online
89
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in, like, five minutes.
90
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Do you want more
like a Steve Harvey vibe
91
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or straight-up Seacrest?
92
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Nuh! Never mind.
93
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I'll combine 'em--
Steve-crest.
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Okay, and, um,
Jerry and Donna, I need you guys
95
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to just make sure
that the gala runs smoothly.
96
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Let's say that we're all gonna
meet back here in an hour.
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I love all of you.
One, two, three, break!
98
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Excuse me.
99
00:03:05,723 --> 00:03:07,557
We're looking
for a couple wedding rings.
100
00:03:07,558 --> 00:03:08,658
You're gonna wanna
look through
101
00:03:08,659 --> 00:03:09,825
the jewelry and nails tray.
102
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There is
some beautiful jewelry in here.
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But be careful.
104
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There's also nails.
105
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Oh! Oh, these aren't bad.
106
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Those are real nice.
107
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And they were nipple rings,
at one point.
108
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How do you know that?
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- Mm.
- They were yours.
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They were his.
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Let's go.
112
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Hey, it's pretty crazy,
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I'm gonna be a cop tomorrow.
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I guess I better commit
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as many crimes
as possible tonight.
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Get it out of my system.
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Ooh, found
the marriage licenses.
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And I am going
to take all of them.
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I don't want anyone else
in this town to get married,
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because it makes it
less special for us.
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Good call, babe.
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- Let's roll.
- Okay.
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I'm good!
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It's not finished.
125
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Why didn't
the seamstress finish it?
126
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If you're not gonna finish
something three months early,
127
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then don't accept the job.
128
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There's got
to be something we can do.
129
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This wedding is meant to be.
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We're gonna figure it out.
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Now how did Cinderella
finish her dress so fast?
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- Squirrels and birds.
- Mm.
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- That's not very helpful.
- No.
134
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- Hey, we got it!
- We got it.
135
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Marriage license--done.
136
00:04:03,211 --> 00:04:04,477
Wait a minute, hold on.
137
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It needs
to be signed by somebody
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at the City Clerk's Office.
139
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I'll just forge it.
140
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,282
I forge government documents
all the time.
141
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- That's true.
- Boom.
142
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No.
143
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,552
- Hey.
- Hey.
144
00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:15,721
So we didn't find
any rings.
145
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Yeah, we're having
a few roadblocks here.
146
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Kind of feels like this thing
is falling apart.
147
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:20,392
Don't panic.
148
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:21,459
I swear there's some rings
149
00:04:21,460 --> 00:04:23,128
in this old box of stuff
my mom gave me.
150
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,063
Still here
at April and Andy's house.
151
00:04:25,064 --> 00:04:26,364
Want to come help me look?
152
00:04:26,365 --> 00:04:27,732
Okay, Ann, dress duty.
153
00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:28,733
April and Andy, license duty.
154
00:04:28,734 --> 00:04:29,935
No time for verbs.
155
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,303
I know you're
in a rush, Leslie.
156
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I should point out
that you said "duty" twice.
157
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:35,640
Okay.
158
00:04:35,641 --> 00:04:38,608
Aw, shucks,
business is a-boomin'.
159
00:04:38,609 --> 00:04:39,977
Indiana celebrity look-alikes.
160
00:04:39,978 --> 00:04:41,979
I mean, this is
a brilliant idea, Donna.
161
00:04:41,980 --> 00:04:43,180
All my favorites are here.
162
00:04:43,181 --> 00:04:45,983
We got Orville Redenbacher,
La Toya Jackson,
163
00:04:45,984 --> 00:04:47,718
Axl Rose, David Letterman.
164
00:04:47,719 --> 00:04:49,486
Look, don't tell anyone,
165
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but I booked
a special surprise.
166
00:04:51,723 --> 00:04:54,757
There's a Li'l Sebastian
look-alike on the way-- what?
167
00:04:54,758 --> 00:04:57,927
What? Oh, my G--
168
00:04:57,928 --> 00:04:59,262
Oh! Oh.
169
00:05:00,597 --> 00:05:02,131
Did you just pee your pants?
170
00:05:02,132 --> 00:05:04,334
Just a dab.
171
00:05:04,335 --> 00:05:05,468
I better go clean up.
172
00:05:05,469 --> 00:05:07,270
You nasty, Jerry.
173
00:05:08,339 --> 00:05:10,072
Third time this week.
174
00:05:10,073 --> 00:05:12,241
- Oh, what the hell!
- What's wrong?
175
00:05:12,242 --> 00:05:13,775
"Your Minister Certification
will be emailed to you
176
00:05:13,776 --> 00:05:15,410
in 24 hours."
177
00:05:15,411 --> 00:05:16,811
Uhh!
But this is America.
178
00:05:16,812 --> 00:05:18,080
I want it now!
179
00:05:18,081 --> 00:05:19,915
Sorry, Tom,
that's what happens.
180
00:05:19,916 --> 00:05:21,750
I had all these great bits
written for the wedding too.
181
00:05:21,751 --> 00:05:22,918
I was gonna beatbox.
182
00:05:22,919 --> 00:05:24,219
There's a dance breakdown.
183
00:05:24,220 --> 00:05:26,787
I'm talking, like,
six guaranteed applause breaks.
184
00:05:26,788 --> 00:05:29,523
Uh, you know,
I am actually ordained.
185
00:05:29,524 --> 00:05:31,325
I could do the wedding.
186
00:05:31,326 --> 00:05:32,860
That's the worst idea
I've ever heard.
187
00:05:32,861 --> 00:05:34,627
Yeah, you're right, okay.
188
00:05:34,628 --> 00:05:37,163
Wait! What if
you do the ceremony,
189
00:05:37,164 --> 00:05:39,499
but you don't have
any stupid ideas of your own,
190
00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:41,834
and you just say the stuff
that I came up with?
191
00:05:41,835 --> 00:05:43,203
Anything to help Leslie.
192
00:05:43,204 --> 00:05:44,304
Perfect.
193
00:05:44,305 --> 00:05:45,372
Now shut up
and start memorizing.
194
00:05:45,373 --> 00:05:48,041
We open
with Will Smith's monologue
195
00:05:48,042 --> 00:05:50,175
from the modern
cinematic classic...
196
00:05:50,176 --> 00:05:51,676
Hitch.
197
00:05:51,677 --> 00:05:52,778
Turtledove?
198
00:05:52,779 --> 00:05:53,879
Falcon?
199
00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:55,447
- Turtledove.
- Falcon?
200
00:05:55,448 --> 00:05:56,448
- Turtledove.
- There's your butt.
201
00:05:56,449 --> 00:05:57,449
Hey.
202
00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:58,683
Did you find the rings?
203
00:05:58,684 --> 00:06:00,552
No rings,
just a tennis bracelet
204
00:06:00,553 --> 00:06:02,955
and a necklace
that says "Wine Chick."
205
00:06:02,956 --> 00:06:05,657
No rings, no license,
no dress.
206
00:06:05,658 --> 00:06:07,158
This idea felt so right,
207
00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:08,660
but maybe
it's just too crazy.
208
00:06:08,661 --> 00:06:10,595
Maybe it wasn't meant to be.
209
00:06:10,596 --> 00:06:12,063
Hey, it's snowing.
210
00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,833
- It's him.
- What?
211
00:06:14,834 --> 00:06:17,335
Who? I can't see.
212
00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:19,037
I don't understand,
this is impossible.
213
00:06:19,038 --> 00:06:22,371
Wh--
214
00:06:22,874 --> 00:06:24,408
Whoa.
215
00:06:24,409 --> 00:06:25,409
Li'l Sebastian?
216
00:06:25,410 --> 00:06:27,177
No, no, sorry.
217
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:28,679
Actually, this is Bucky.
218
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,982
He's a, uh, licensed
Li'l Sebastian impersonator.
219
00:06:31,983 --> 00:06:33,317
We're headed to the gala,
220
00:06:33,318 --> 00:06:35,218
so folks can pose
for pictures with him.
221
00:06:35,219 --> 00:06:36,554
200 a pop,
if you're interested.
222
00:06:36,555 --> 00:06:37,987
Quiet, you.
223
00:06:37,988 --> 00:06:40,323
This is Li'l Sebastian,
and this is a sign.
224
00:06:40,324 --> 00:06:41,891
We're gonna do this.
225
00:06:41,892 --> 00:06:43,860
We are gonna pull
this wedding off.
226
00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:45,862
- Come on, Bucky.
- Li'l Sebastian.
227
00:06:46,163 --> 00:06:47,597
Yes, ma'am.
228
00:06:50,415 --> 00:06:52,082
Oh my God, we're running out of time.
Ann, please,
229
00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:54,550
tell me that you have sewn
a new dress from scratch.
230
00:06:54,551 --> 00:06:56,218
Or several dresses, 'cause
I would love some options.
231
00:06:56,219 --> 00:06:58,087
I have an idea,
and it might be insane,
232
00:06:58,088 --> 00:07:00,287
but I've been watching a lot
Project Runway recently...
233
00:07:00,288 --> 00:07:01,388
In the past eight years.
234
00:07:01,389 --> 00:07:02,956
Okay, great,
so I trust you,
235
00:07:02,957 --> 00:07:04,258
and make it work.
236
00:07:04,259 --> 00:07:05,626
No time
to do the Tim Gunn voice.
237
00:07:05,627 --> 00:07:07,027
Wait, what am I talking about?
There's always time.
238
00:07:07,028 --> 00:07:08,629
Designers, make it work.
239
00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:10,364
Ann, you have less than an hour.
240
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,837
Miss Beavers, this is
official police business.
241
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:18,938
I hope we didn't wake you up.
242
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,073
It's after 10:00.
243
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,176
I've been asleep for four hours.
244
00:07:23,177 --> 00:07:24,210
What do you want?
245
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:25,445
We need you to sign this.
246
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:27,247
It's a marriage license.
247
00:07:27,248 --> 00:07:29,182
Ethel? Is it robbers?
248
00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:30,617
No, go back to bed.
249
00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,317
Aww, is that your husband?
250
00:07:32,318 --> 00:07:33,385
I'm not married.
251
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:34,819
I was on a date tonight.
252
00:07:34,820 --> 00:07:36,788
It went well,
he's sleeping over.
253
00:07:37,789 --> 00:07:38,890
Cool.
254
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:40,292
It'd really mean a lot
if you sign it.
255
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,926
It's for Leslie Knope
and Ben Wyatt.
256
00:07:41,927 --> 00:07:43,428
I think you know them?
257
00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:45,631
They dragged me out
in the freezing cold once,
258
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,698
so they could tell each other
"I love you."
259
00:07:47,699 --> 00:07:48,732
It was annoying.
260
00:07:48,733 --> 00:07:50,434
Oh, thank you so much!
261
00:07:50,435 --> 00:07:52,970
You have got an amazing house
and a really cool nightgown
262
00:07:52,971 --> 00:07:54,305
and seem
to be super good at dating.
263
00:07:54,306 --> 00:07:56,274
Yeah, so can we adopt you
as our grandma?
264
00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:58,075
- Fine.
- Cool!
265
00:07:58,076 --> 00:08:00,478
We love you, Grandma!
266
00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:02,413
I guess we could go
to a pharmacy,
267
00:08:02,414 --> 00:08:05,114
but I really don't want to use
like a cheap plastic ring.
268
00:08:05,115 --> 00:08:06,916
I hate to say this,
but Ann Perkins
269
00:08:06,917 --> 00:08:08,951
has terrible taste
in rings.
270
00:08:08,952 --> 00:08:10,053
What--what is this?
271
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:13,022
It's a toe ring
with a brown gemstone?
272
00:08:13,023 --> 00:08:15,124
Is this a ruby
that's gone bad?
273
00:08:15,125 --> 00:08:16,359
I am out of ideas.
274
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:18,027
Jewelry store.
275
00:08:18,028 --> 00:08:20,529
No, that's closed,
that's why we're doing this.
276
00:08:20,530 --> 00:08:21,963
Perhaps I can be of service.
277
00:08:21,964 --> 00:08:23,299
How?
278
00:08:23,550 --> 00:08:24,917
How much do you think
Ann would miss this sconce?
279
00:08:24,918 --> 00:08:26,051
Oh, I don't know.
280
00:08:26,052 --> 00:08:27,786
It's part of her house.
281
00:08:29,088 --> 00:08:31,089
Well, okay.
282
00:08:31,090 --> 00:08:34,092
"When I heard Ben
was getting married, I was like,
283
00:08:34,093 --> 00:08:36,594
'to Leslie
or to Game of Thrones'?"
284
00:08:36,595 --> 00:08:38,796
Ugh, horrible delivery.
285
00:08:38,797 --> 00:08:41,198
"You ever heard Leslie talk
about Ben's butt?
286
00:08:41,199 --> 00:08:43,568
"I'm all like,
'damn, girl,
287
00:08:43,569 --> 00:08:46,036
you mad sweet
on that back meat.'"
288
00:08:46,037 --> 00:08:47,104
You're murdering
my beautiful words!
289
00:08:47,105 --> 00:08:48,473
Do you even want
to kill at this wedding?
290
00:08:48,474 --> 00:08:50,307
I just want Leslie and Ben
to have a nice night.
291
00:08:50,308 --> 00:08:52,843
- I'm sorry. I--
- No, no.
292
00:08:52,844 --> 00:08:53,944
It's my fault
for believing in you.
293
00:08:53,945 --> 00:08:55,044
Well, look,
294
00:08:55,045 --> 00:08:56,379
um, to be official,
295
00:08:56,380 --> 00:08:58,114
I just have to do the vows
and the pronouncement.
296
00:08:58,115 --> 00:08:59,649
So why don't you handle
the speech,
297
00:08:59,650 --> 00:09:01,718
and then I'll just come
in at the end?
298
00:09:01,719 --> 00:09:03,787
Well, I'm not crazy
about the part
299
00:09:03,788 --> 00:09:05,555
where you do something.
300
00:09:05,556 --> 00:09:08,858
But, I do like the idea
me doing something.
301
00:09:08,859 --> 00:09:10,392
Let's give it a shot.
302
00:09:10,393 --> 00:09:12,160
Hello, everyone.
303
00:09:12,161 --> 00:09:13,295
Got some bad news.
304
00:09:13,296 --> 00:09:15,163
The gala ends at 11:00.
305
00:09:15,164 --> 00:09:16,732
The good news is,
306
00:09:16,733 --> 00:09:20,066
at 11:01, we'll be holding
a special wedding ceremony.
307
00:09:20,704 --> 00:09:22,270
Everyone is invited to stay.
308
00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:25,507
All the drinks and the food
will be on us.
309
00:09:28,844 --> 00:09:30,444
Hey, everything going okay?
310
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:31,779
Everything would be peachy
311
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,748
if it weren't for that dumbass
with a megaphone.
312
00:09:33,749 --> 00:09:36,083
No one wants
a park here.
313
00:09:36,084 --> 00:09:38,520
Parks are stu-pid.
314
00:09:38,521 --> 00:09:40,621
Hey, butter-teeth,
what's up?
315
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:41,822
I can fix those chompers
for you.
316
00:09:41,823 --> 00:09:43,857
Just come
to Jamm Orthodontics.
317
00:09:43,858 --> 00:09:45,559
Councilman Jamm,
what are you doing here?
318
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:48,893
What are you doing here?
Parks are stu-pid.
319
00:09:49,196 --> 00:09:50,463
Hey, enough.
320
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:51,598
You better give me back
that megaphone.
321
00:09:51,599 --> 00:09:53,199
That belongs to my aunt.
322
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,968
Why don't I call you a cab?
323
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,136
Mm. No,
this isn't over, Knope.
324
00:09:57,137 --> 00:09:59,371
It is over.
I won fair and square.
325
00:09:59,372 --> 00:10:00,640
And, in a half an hour,
326
00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:02,708
I am getting married
over there
327
00:10:02,709 --> 00:10:04,343
to the most perfect man
in the world.
328
00:10:04,344 --> 00:10:05,611
And all my dreams
are coming true.
329
00:10:05,612 --> 00:10:07,446
Knope rules,
Jamm sucks.
330
00:10:07,447 --> 00:10:09,114
Knope rules, Jamm sucks.
331
00:10:09,115 --> 00:10:11,350
Knope rules, Ja--
Councilman Howser.
332
00:10:11,351 --> 00:10:14,118
Leslie. Jeremy.
333
00:10:14,119 --> 00:10:17,188
You better make sure my aunt
gets her megaphone back.
334
00:10:17,189 --> 00:10:19,624
Okay, did I--
did I do it right?
335
00:10:19,625 --> 00:10:20,926
- How's it look?
- Terrible.
336
00:10:20,927 --> 00:10:22,827
And perfect.
337
00:10:22,828 --> 00:10:26,161
I promised myself
I was not going to cry tonight.
338
00:10:26,198 --> 00:10:28,699
And I have already broken
that promise five times.
339
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:32,002
But I will not...
break it a sixth.
340
00:10:32,003 --> 00:10:33,904
Go ahead
and let it out, buddy.
341
00:10:33,905 --> 00:10:35,873
It's okay.
342
00:10:35,874 --> 00:10:38,876
- I have something for you.
- All right.
343
00:10:38,877 --> 00:10:41,511
It is the letter
from the statehouse...
344
00:10:41,512 --> 00:10:43,980
Telling us that we have been
assigned to Pawnee.
345
00:10:43,981 --> 00:10:45,548
Dated may 1st, 2010.
346
00:10:45,549 --> 00:10:46,716
No way.
347
00:10:46,717 --> 00:10:48,517
We were supposed
to be here eight weeks.
348
00:10:48,518 --> 00:10:51,087
I'm so happy
that those eight weeks
349
00:10:51,088 --> 00:10:52,689
turned into three years,
350
00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:54,991
and that you met Leslie,
351
00:10:54,992 --> 00:10:58,325
and that we both
found a home.
352
00:10:58,662 --> 00:11:01,196
Damn it, you're transferring
your crying thing over to me.
353
00:11:01,197 --> 00:11:02,831
It's okay, buddy,
let it out.
354
00:11:04,033 --> 00:11:06,501
I gathered up
all the meaningful bills,
355
00:11:06,502 --> 00:11:09,835
pictures, documents, and memos
from your career.
356
00:11:09,906 --> 00:11:11,573
What do you think?
Is it okay?
357
00:11:11,574 --> 00:11:13,709
It is the most beautiful
object I have ever seen.
358
00:11:13,710 --> 00:11:16,343
It is like
the Ann Perkins of dresses.
359
00:11:16,344 --> 00:11:17,778
Yay.
360
00:11:17,779 --> 00:11:19,446
It is amazing.
361
00:11:19,447 --> 00:11:20,447
All set.
362
00:11:20,448 --> 00:11:22,717
Leslie, wow!
363
00:11:22,718 --> 00:11:23,884
You look amazing.
Right?
364
00:11:23,885 --> 00:11:26,020
- Oh, my God!
- What?
365
00:11:26,021 --> 00:11:27,554
I'm not supposed
to see you before the wedding.
366
00:11:27,555 --> 00:11:28,689
- No, that's the groom
- I ruined it!
367
00:11:28,690 --> 00:11:29,924
Andy, that's the groom.
368
00:11:29,925 --> 00:11:31,958
Well, I saw him too.
369
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,559
I'm just gonna cover my eyes,
just to be safe.
370
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,528
Okay, so we're ready
out there.
371
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,631
For your wedding
or whatever.
372
00:11:37,632 --> 00:11:39,499
Oh, my God,
the license, the rings,
373
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:40,867
the officiant, everything?
374
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:41,968
Yes, it all came together.
375
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:44,203
Let's go.
376
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,048
Boo, boo.
377
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,650
Boo, Leslie Knope, boo.
378
00:11:57,651 --> 00:11:59,451
♪ Here comes the boo ♪
379
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,887
♪ all dressed in boo ♪
380
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,788
♪ boo, Leslie Knope ♪
381
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:06,490
♪ boo, boo-oo-oo-oo ♪
382
00:12:06,491 --> 00:12:07,491
Boo!
383
00:12:07,492 --> 00:12:09,393
Dude, what are you doing?
384
00:12:09,394 --> 00:12:10,461
I'm being awesome.
385
00:12:10,462 --> 00:12:12,429
Boo, boo, Leslie, boo.
386
00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:14,465
My friend, I don't think
you understand
387
00:12:14,466 --> 00:12:15,767
what a bad idea this is.
388
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:17,234
I don't think you understand
389
00:12:17,235 --> 00:12:19,470
that I would have got a cut
of that new Paunch Burger
390
00:12:19,471 --> 00:12:21,738
if she hadn't
screwed everything up.
391
00:12:21,739 --> 00:12:23,106
So sorry, guys!
392
00:12:23,107 --> 00:12:24,641
This wedding is canceled,
393
00:12:24,642 --> 00:12:26,109
'cause the bride is
a b-hole.
394
00:12:26,110 --> 00:12:28,344
- Hey!
- Check this out.
395
00:12:28,345 --> 00:12:30,413
Stink bomb! Who knows
what that does?
396
00:12:30,414 --> 00:12:31,481
Oh!
397
00:12:32,984 --> 00:12:34,517
Stink bomb?
Are you joking?
398
00:12:34,518 --> 00:12:35,785
Oh, my God!
399
00:12:35,786 --> 00:12:37,586
Where did you even get
a stink bomb?
400
00:12:37,587 --> 00:12:39,321
Amazon, baby, that's how.
401
00:12:39,322 --> 00:12:42,158
You are looking
at a prime customer, everybody.
402
00:12:42,159 --> 00:12:44,493
Two days free shipping
for this guy.
403
00:12:44,494 --> 00:12:47,129
Let's get this party started
with another one, gang!
404
00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:48,964
No!
405
00:12:48,965 --> 00:12:50,499
It's terrible!
406
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,034
Jerry, you do the wedding.
Who cares?
407
00:12:52,035 --> 00:12:53,935
Come on, man,
just go home.
408
00:12:53,936 --> 00:12:55,370
And who's gonna make me?
409
00:12:55,371 --> 00:12:57,539
It's your wedding day.
410
00:12:57,540 --> 00:12:59,607
I'll handle this.
411
00:12:59,608 --> 00:13:01,176
Here comes the bride.
412
00:13:01,177 --> 00:13:02,510
- Time to go, sir.
- No.
413
00:13:02,511 --> 00:13:04,779
Hey, get off me,
what the hell, man?
414
00:13:04,780 --> 00:13:06,848
- Don't you touch me.
- Oh.
415
00:13:06,849 --> 00:13:08,750
I'll give you that one.
416
00:13:08,751 --> 00:13:11,619
- But if you do it again--
- If I do what again?
417
00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:13,188
What, kick your ass?
Is that what you like?
418
00:13:13,189 --> 00:13:14,855
You want me to just pound--
419
00:13:14,856 --> 00:13:16,156
Ooh!
420
00:13:16,157 --> 00:13:17,390
Ow.
421
00:13:18,191 --> 00:13:20,724
Yay, best wedding ever.
422
00:13:25,463 --> 00:13:26,764
Ow.
423
00:13:28,063 --> 00:13:29,264
You broke my tooth.
424
00:13:29,265 --> 00:13:31,166
Well, good thing you're
an orthodontist.
425
00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:32,434
Yeah, it is a good thing.
426
00:13:32,435 --> 00:13:34,068
You see my house?
427
00:13:34,069 --> 00:13:36,037
- Five bathrooms.
- Great.
428
00:13:36,038 --> 00:13:38,539
- I'm sorry, Leslie.
- For what?
429
00:13:38,540 --> 00:13:40,541
I've never presented a bride
on her wedding day,
430
00:13:40,542 --> 00:13:43,177
so I'm not 100% sure
of the duties involved,
431
00:13:43,178 --> 00:13:44,745
but I don't think you're
supposed to punch a man
432
00:13:44,746 --> 00:13:46,413
in the mouth
during the service.
433
00:13:46,414 --> 00:13:48,549
I think that's exactly
what you're supposed to do,
434
00:13:48,550 --> 00:13:50,884
if that mouth is attached
to a drunk jerk-face.
435
00:13:50,885 --> 00:13:53,119
Well, please,
don't worry about me.
436
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,622
- Just go and get married.
- No.
437
00:13:55,623 --> 00:13:57,457
- Leslie.
- Ron.
438
00:13:57,458 --> 00:13:58,858
Listen to me
very carefully.
439
00:13:58,859 --> 00:14:00,726
I lost my father
when I was ten,
440
00:14:00,727 --> 00:14:02,295
I don't have any brothers,
441
00:14:02,296 --> 00:14:04,564
and Ken Burns
never wrote me back.
442
00:14:04,565 --> 00:14:06,832
So I am not getting married
without you there
443
00:14:06,833 --> 00:14:08,634
to walk me down the aisle.
444
00:14:08,635 --> 00:14:11,470
End of discussion.
445
00:14:13,806 --> 00:14:15,307
Better get used
to this, honey.
446
00:14:15,308 --> 00:14:17,242
Gonna be a lot of late nights
for me here.
447
00:14:17,243 --> 00:14:18,777
Graveyard shift.
448
00:14:18,778 --> 00:14:20,945
You coming to bring me coffee
while I interrogate murderers.
449
00:14:20,946 --> 00:14:22,247
You've had all night
450
00:14:22,248 --> 00:14:23,649
to get something
out of him, Dwyer,
451
00:14:23,650 --> 00:14:25,316
- we gotta let him go.
- Come on, Captain.
452
00:14:25,317 --> 00:14:26,984
I'm this close to getting
a confession.
453
00:14:26,985 --> 00:14:28,118
You're never gonna break him,
Dwyer.
454
00:14:28,119 --> 00:14:29,220
He's a psychopath.
455
00:14:29,221 --> 00:14:30,421
He chopped off
both of his arms,
456
00:14:30,422 --> 00:14:31,989
so he wouldn't leave
any fingerprints.
457
00:14:31,990 --> 00:14:33,123
Oh, he did?
458
00:14:33,124 --> 00:14:34,425
Well, how did he murder
the person?
459
00:14:34,426 --> 00:14:35,693
- I don't know.
- Hey, Chief Fugleberg.
460
00:14:35,694 --> 00:14:37,728
It's me, Andy Dwyer,
pre-reporting for duty.
461
00:14:37,729 --> 00:14:39,597
Listen, about my new partner.
462
00:14:39,598 --> 00:14:41,331
Is it a dog?
463
00:14:41,332 --> 00:14:44,665
Oh, has Chris Traeger
not told you?
464
00:14:45,769 --> 00:14:46,969
Told me what?
465
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,639
Hey, Ron,
we posted bail.
466
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,641
- You're free to go.
- Wait a minute, what?
467
00:14:51,642 --> 00:14:53,009
He punched me in the teeth.
468
00:14:53,010 --> 00:14:54,211
This is an outrage.
469
00:14:54,212 --> 00:14:55,212
I think we have
a pretty clear picture
470
00:14:55,213 --> 00:14:56,278
of what went down.
471
00:14:56,279 --> 00:14:58,747
Sleep it off
in the cell, Councilman.
472
00:14:58,748 --> 00:15:00,382
Leslie, I'm so sorry.
473
00:15:00,383 --> 00:15:01,684
I think we missed it.
474
00:15:01,685 --> 00:15:03,819
The gala's over,
they're taking it all down.
475
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,221
Yeah, it's okay.
476
00:15:05,222 --> 00:15:07,022
I mean, I guess it just
wasn't meant to be, after all.
477
00:15:07,023 --> 00:15:08,624
We'll get married in May
like we planned.
478
00:15:08,625 --> 00:15:09,858
You know what?
479
00:15:09,859 --> 00:15:11,893
I have some champagne,
back at the office.
480
00:15:11,894 --> 00:15:13,561
Let's go back there,
have a drink,
481
00:15:13,562 --> 00:15:14,795
toast to Pawnee Commons.
482
00:15:14,796 --> 00:15:16,664
Fun. That's a good idea.
483
00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:18,566
It'll be good,
'cause I actually have some work
484
00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:19,934
I need to get started on.
485
00:15:21,036 --> 00:15:23,003
I got five bathrooms.
486
00:15:23,604 --> 00:15:25,840
I love
the first floor of City Hall
487
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:27,542
at night.
488
00:15:27,543 --> 00:15:29,809
When all the fluorescents
are half-off.
489
00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:33,143
Just makes the informational
fliers look so beautiful.
490
00:15:33,314 --> 00:15:36,350
I've never willingly been here
later than 5:04 p.m.
491
00:15:36,351 --> 00:15:38,051
Before we go inside,
492
00:15:38,052 --> 00:15:41,020
I'd like to say something.
493
00:15:41,821 --> 00:15:44,157
You are a wonderful person.
494
00:15:44,158 --> 00:15:47,126
Your friendship
means a lot to me.
495
00:15:47,127 --> 00:15:49,362
And you look very beautiful.
496
00:15:49,863 --> 00:15:51,764
Okay, weirdo.
497
00:15:51,765 --> 00:15:54,767
Let's go.
498
00:15:56,803 --> 00:15:58,170
Hoo, boy.
499
00:16:10,816 --> 00:16:12,116
All set?
500
00:16:12,117 --> 00:16:13,718
Mmhmm
501
00:16:14,219 --> 00:16:16,887
Jerry, everything I wrote
is wrong.
502
00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:18,789
There's, like, 20 minutes
of Hitch quotes
503
00:16:18,790 --> 00:16:20,424
before I even say
Leslie's name.
504
00:16:20,425 --> 00:16:21,825
What do I do?
505
00:16:21,826 --> 00:16:22,893
You know what, Tom?
506
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:24,428
Just speak
from the heart, okay?
507
00:16:24,429 --> 00:16:27,498
You'll do great.
508
00:16:27,499 --> 00:16:29,232
We are gathered here tonight
509
00:16:29,233 --> 00:16:33,566
to join Leslie Knope
and Benjamin Wyatt in marriage.
510
00:16:34,538 --> 00:16:37,840
It's been a long and winding
road for these two lovebirds.
511
00:16:37,841 --> 00:16:41,010
And they're so impatient
to begin their lives together
512
00:16:41,011 --> 00:16:43,446
they've moved their wedding date
up three months.
513
00:16:43,447 --> 00:16:46,182
So I say, let's keep it short
and sweet.
514
00:16:46,183 --> 00:16:48,083
Yes, just do it already.
515
00:16:48,784 --> 00:16:52,917
I assume, and hope,
you prepared your own vows?
516
00:16:53,355 --> 00:16:56,188
Ben, you want
to say some stuff about Leslie?
517
00:16:57,527 --> 00:16:59,260
In my time working
for the state government,
518
00:16:59,261 --> 00:17:02,531
my job sent me
to 46 cities
519
00:17:02,532 --> 00:17:04,165
in 11 years.
520
00:17:04,166 --> 00:17:07,499
I lived in villages
with eight people,
521
00:17:07,636 --> 00:17:10,904
rural farming communities,
college towns.
522
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:13,907
I was sent
to every corner of Indiana.
523
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:15,576
And then I came here.
524
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:18,910
And I realized that,
this whole time,
525
00:17:19,147 --> 00:17:22,980
I was just wandering around,
everywhere,
526
00:17:24,017 --> 00:17:26,850
just looking for you.
527
00:17:27,988 --> 00:17:30,423
Leslie, do you want to say
some stuff about Ben now?
528
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:33,493
Okay, well, the first draft
of my vows,
529
00:17:33,494 --> 00:17:35,495
which I wrote
the day after we got engaged,
530
00:17:35,496 --> 00:17:37,229
clocked in at around 70 pages.
531
00:17:38,598 --> 00:17:40,733
But I don't have them
with me today.
532
00:17:42,134 --> 00:17:43,602
Although maybe there's a copy
of them in my office.
533
00:17:44,103 --> 00:17:44,970
No.
534
00:17:44,971 --> 00:17:46,037
That's fine, that's fine.
535
00:17:46,038 --> 00:17:47,639
- I think we can just keep going.
- Okay.
536
00:17:48,775 --> 00:17:51,009
Here's what I'll say, then.
537
00:17:51,010 --> 00:17:52,477
The things
that you have done for me,
538
00:17:52,478 --> 00:17:55,811
to help me,
support me,
539
00:17:55,848 --> 00:17:59,181
surprise me,
to make me happy,
540
00:17:59,685 --> 00:18:03,018
go above and beyond
what any person deserves.
541
00:18:03,855 --> 00:18:05,990
You're all I need.
542
00:18:05,991 --> 00:18:08,259
I love you
and I like you.
543
00:18:08,260 --> 00:18:11,194
I love you and I like you.
544
00:18:11,195 --> 00:18:12,696
And now,
with the power vested in me
545
00:18:12,697 --> 00:18:14,230
by the state of Indiana,
546
00:18:14,231 --> 00:18:16,933
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
547
00:18:16,934 --> 00:18:18,835
You may now kiss the--
548
00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:19,870
well, oops, okay.
549
00:18:19,871 --> 00:18:21,371
- Yay!
- Whoo!
550
00:18:23,441 --> 00:18:26,375
Lagavulin all around?
551
00:18:26,376 --> 00:18:27,710
Don't bother answering.
552
00:18:27,711 --> 00:18:29,144
I am already pouring.
553
00:18:29,145 --> 00:18:32,014
- You don't have to drink yours.
- Thank you.
554
00:18:32,815 --> 00:18:35,017
Just this once,
555
00:18:35,018 --> 00:18:36,652
I thought
I nailed something.
556
00:18:36,653 --> 00:18:38,854
Well, I'm still proud of you.
557
00:18:38,855 --> 00:18:41,623
You worked hard
and you got really close.
558
00:18:41,624 --> 00:18:44,459
Close only counts
in horse grenades.
559
00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:45,993
- What?
- It's a saying.
560
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:47,194
Because if you're
playing horseshoes,
561
00:18:47,195 --> 00:18:48,396
and then you throw
a grenade at a horse,
562
00:18:48,397 --> 00:18:49,964
it doesn't have to be
that close,
563
00:18:49,965 --> 00:18:51,399
and you can still blow
the horse's legs off.
564
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,067
It's from the movie
Seabiscuit.
565
00:18:53,068 --> 00:18:54,803
How's it going in here?
566
00:18:54,804 --> 00:18:58,137
Good. I was just telling Andy
that I'm proud of him.
567
00:18:58,205 --> 00:18:59,239
Oh.
568
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:00,908
And I was just explaining
to April
569
00:19:00,909 --> 00:19:01,975
that I'm a failure,
570
00:19:01,976 --> 00:19:04,210
and she should leave me
for Orin.
571
00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:07,544
Andy, this is
a very important moment for you.
572
00:19:08,316 --> 00:19:11,649
How we deal with tragedy
defines who we are.
573
00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:13,920
I used to be terrible at it.
574
00:19:13,921 --> 00:19:15,988
Beyond terrible.
575
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:19,322
You are not going
to let this deflate you.
576
00:19:19,693 --> 00:19:21,627
You are going
to pick yourself up,
577
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,095
dust yourself off,
578
00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:26,429
and we will figure out
what the next step is.
579
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:32,234
Chris can be very...
Paternal.
580
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:34,873
I look around this room.
581
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:36,708
If it weren't
for Leslie Knope,
582
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:38,276
none of us would be here.
583
00:19:38,777 --> 00:19:40,178
So, Leslie, this song,
584
00:19:40,629 --> 00:19:42,730
which is
for Li'l Sebastian,
585
00:19:42,731 --> 00:19:44,165
is for you.
586
00:19:47,118 --> 00:19:50,451
♪ Up in horsey heaven,
here's the thing ♪
587
00:19:53,291 --> 00:19:56,624
♪ you trade your legs
for angel's wings ♪
588
00:19:58,763 --> 00:20:02,096
♪ and once we've all said
good-bye ♪
589
00:20:05,202 --> 00:20:08,535
♪ you take a running leap,
and you learn to fly ♪
590
00:20:11,408 --> 00:20:14,741
♪ Bye-bye,
Li'l Sebastian ♪
591
00:20:17,279 --> 00:20:20,612
♪ miss you
in the saddest fashion... ♪
592
00:20:22,418 --> 00:20:23,585
There were a lot of signs
593
00:20:23,586 --> 00:20:25,085
that Ben and I
should get married tonight.
594
00:20:25,086 --> 00:20:26,487
But, truth be told,
595
00:20:26,488 --> 00:20:28,589
we just really wanted
to get married.
596
00:20:28,590 --> 00:20:29,757
When you're in love,
597
00:20:29,758 --> 00:20:31,592
everything seems
like a sign.
598
00:20:31,593 --> 00:20:33,494
I love my husband.
599
00:20:33,495 --> 00:20:34,896
I love my job.
600
00:20:34,897 --> 00:20:36,664
And I love my friends.
601
00:20:36,665 --> 00:20:39,998
Even though they really
can't handle their booze.
602
00:20:40,268 --> 00:20:42,636
Hey, we should
just go, right?
603
00:20:44,304 --> 00:20:46,406
Careful.
604
00:20:46,907 --> 00:20:49,740
♪ Spread your wings and fly ♪
605
00:20:50,110 --> 00:20:52,746
♪ spread your wings
and fly ♪
606
00:20:54,975 --> 00:20:56,374
It's not rocket science.
607
00:20:56,975 --> 00:20:59,024
I removed the sconce...
608
00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:01,192
Fired up
my grandfather's torch,
609
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:03,462
heated up the pieces
in a cast-iron bucket.
610
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,429
Liquefied the metal.
611
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:06,898
Pour it into a mold.
612
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:10,232
Obviously keep it over a low
flame to achieve a nice temper.
613
00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:12,303
Cooled it in antifreeze.
614
00:21:12,304 --> 00:21:15,140
And just forged
and shaped the rings.
615
00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:17,775
Any moron with a crucible,
an acetylene torch,
616
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:20,477
and a cast-iron waffle maker
could have done the same.
617
00:21:20,478 --> 00:21:22,880
Whole thing only took me
about 20 minutes.
618
00:21:22,881 --> 00:21:25,315
People who buy things
are suckers.
619
00:21:25,817 --> 00:21:30,057
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com