1 00:00:02,030 --> 00:00:04,520 Hey, I've gained a lot 2 00:00:02,030 --> 00:00:04,520 of ground in the polls. 3 00:00:02,030 --> 00:00:04,520 That's good news. 4 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,500 Yeah. I have you down 5 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,500 only four points. 6 00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:08,500 But they're running a ton 7 00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:08,500 of new negative ads. 8 00:00:08,570 --> 00:00:10,060 Maybe you should 9 00:00:08,570 --> 00:00:10,060 fight back. 10 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,830 Ben, your heart's 11 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,830 in the right place. 12 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,830 Your heart and your butt. 13 00:00:12,900 --> 00:00:14,530 I will not go negative. 14 00:00:14,610 --> 00:00:15,670 Crap on a turd! 15 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:17,800 Care for a "Recall Knope" 16 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:17,800 gift bag? 17 00:00:18,010 --> 00:00:20,640 The Committee 18 00:00:18,010 --> 00:00:20,640 to Recall Leslie Knope 19 00:00:18,010 --> 00:00:20,640 is relentless. 20 00:00:20,850 --> 00:00:23,010 Look what they're handing 21 00:00:20,850 --> 00:00:23,010 out at elementary schools. 22 00:00:23,410 --> 00:00:27,080 I'm Leslie Knope. 23 00:00:23,410 --> 00:00:27,080 Tell your parents to 24 00:00:23,410 --> 00:00:27,080 recall me. 25 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,190 We all know that I 26 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,190 cannot spend as much 27 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,190 money on ads as my opponent. 28 00:00:37,260 --> 00:00:40,430 But I printed out 29 00:00:37,260 --> 00:00:40,430 10,000 "Don't" stickers. 30 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,830 And 10,000 31 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,830 question mark stickers. 32 00:00:43,070 --> 00:00:45,400 That way, 33 00:00:43,070 --> 00:00:45,400 if you see a sign 34 00:00:43,070 --> 00:00:45,400 that says 35 00:00:45,470 --> 00:00:47,770 "Recall Knope," 36 00:00:45,470 --> 00:00:47,770 all you need to do is add 37 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,330 the question mark 38 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,330 and the "Don't," 39 00:00:49,410 --> 00:00:52,100 and suddenly, it reads 40 00:00:49,410 --> 00:00:52,100 "Recall Knope? Don't!" 41 00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:54,540 Why don't you just 42 00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:54,540 put the "Don't" in 43 00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:54,540 front of "Recall Knope"? 44 00:00:56,710 --> 00:00:58,110 Yep. That's a much 45 00:00:56,710 --> 00:00:58,110 better idea. 46 00:00:58,180 --> 00:00:59,340 Can I have these 47 00:00:58,180 --> 00:00:59,340 question mark stickers? 48 00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:01,280 Why? 49 00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:01,280 I want to put 50 00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:01,280 them on stop signs. 51 00:01:01,390 --> 00:01:02,650 April, no! 52 00:01:24,380 --> 00:01:26,440 Hi. Um, I need 53 00:01:24,380 --> 00:01:26,440 to talk to 54 00:01:26,540 --> 00:01:27,910 somebody about 55 00:01:26,540 --> 00:01:27,910 reserving a park. 56 00:01:28,450 --> 00:01:29,710 Oh, we have a new policy. 57 00:01:29,780 --> 00:01:31,840 Parks can only be 58 00:01:29,780 --> 00:01:31,840 reserved for witch covens 59 00:01:31,950 --> 00:01:34,480 or Slip 'N Slide competitions. 60 00:01:31,950 --> 00:01:34,480 Which one are you? 61 00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:35,810 Uh, Slip 'N Slide 62 00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:35,810 competition. 63 00:01:35,890 --> 00:01:36,880 Seriously? 64 00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:39,320 No. How would you even compete 65 00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:39,320 in something like that? 66 00:01:39,420 --> 00:01:40,410 Doesn't matter. 67 00:01:40,690 --> 00:01:43,590 Um, I called earlier about 68 00:01:40,690 --> 00:01:43,590 the free vaccinations thing? 69 00:01:43,660 --> 00:01:44,990 We're hoping to set up 70 00:01:45,060 --> 00:01:48,430 a mobile hospital 71 00:01:45,060 --> 00:01:48,430 in one of your parks. 72 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:49,990 Sorry, is there 73 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:49,990 something wrong with him? 74 00:01:51,770 --> 00:01:53,740 Tom. This witch 75 00:01:51,770 --> 00:01:53,740 wants to reserve a park 76 00:01:53,810 --> 00:01:55,470 for her satanic ritual. 77 00:01:53,810 --> 00:01:55,470 Can you help her? 78 00:01:56,710 --> 00:01:59,940 Right. Smashing. 79 00:01:56,710 --> 00:01:59,940 Uh, yes, I'm Thomas Haverford. 80 00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:02,240 I sort of run 81 00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:02,240 the whole department. 82 00:02:02,310 --> 00:02:03,750 Um, what was the name, then? 83 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,580 Uh, Nadia Statsky. 84 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,580 I'm from Doctors 85 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,580 Without Borders. 86 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,550 Brilliant. 87 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,550 The old D's without B's. 88 00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:11,990 Uh, we can 89 00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:11,990 definitely help. 90 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,720 Yeah, Tom's your guy. 91 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,720 He actually used to 92 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,720 run the Parks Department 93 00:02:15,790 --> 00:02:17,280 in his home country of Russia. 94 00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:23,430 This one is mental. 95 00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:23,430 She's joking, obviously. 96 00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:23,430 How could I be from Russia? 97 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:26,200 Not with this spot-on 98 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:26,200 British accent. 99 00:02:26,270 --> 00:02:28,070 We can definitely 100 00:02:26,270 --> 00:02:28,070 get you sorted. 101 00:02:28,410 --> 00:02:30,670 Right this way. 102 00:02:28,410 --> 00:02:30,670 Okay. 103 00:02:33,650 --> 00:02:35,110 Whoa! I am pretty sure 104 00:02:35,180 --> 00:02:36,510 you shouldn't have 105 00:02:35,180 --> 00:02:36,510 a weapon at work. 106 00:02:36,710 --> 00:02:39,050 Literally everything 107 00:02:36,710 --> 00:02:39,050 is a weapon, son. 108 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,780 That folder, in my hands, 109 00:02:40,850 --> 00:02:42,840 is far deadlier 110 00:02:40,850 --> 00:02:42,840 than this bow in yours. 111 00:02:42,950 --> 00:02:45,390 Oh, that's probably true. 112 00:02:45,460 --> 00:02:47,820 So, Leslie and I 113 00:02:45,460 --> 00:02:47,820 just finished putting 114 00:02:45,460 --> 00:02:47,820 together our will, 115 00:02:47,890 --> 00:02:49,220 and she wants 116 00:02:47,890 --> 00:02:49,220 you to be the witness. 117 00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:50,350 You mind signing it? 118 00:02:50,660 --> 00:02:52,690 That's your will? 119 00:02:50,660 --> 00:02:52,690 You need that many pages 120 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,600 to say, "Give my stuff 121 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,600 to my wife"? 122 00:02:54,670 --> 00:02:56,500 It's a complicated 123 00:02:54,670 --> 00:02:56,500 legal document. 124 00:02:56,570 --> 00:02:57,630 Doesn't have to be. 125 00:02:57,940 --> 00:03:00,560 I've had the same will 126 00:02:57,940 --> 00:03:00,560 since I was eight years old. 127 00:03:03,740 --> 00:03:05,640 "Upon my death, 128 00:03:03,740 --> 00:03:05,640 all of my belongings 129 00:03:05,710 --> 00:03:08,680 "shall transfer to 130 00:03:05,710 --> 00:03:08,680 the man or animal 131 00:03:05,710 --> 00:03:08,680 who has killed me." 132 00:03:09,210 --> 00:03:11,080 What are these weird symbols? 133 00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:12,950 The man who 134 00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:12,950 kills me will know. 135 00:03:13,690 --> 00:03:15,810 Okay. You should 136 00:03:13,690 --> 00:03:15,810 really have a will 137 00:03:15,890 --> 00:03:17,790 that's more than 138 00:03:15,890 --> 00:03:17,790 one sentence long. 139 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:20,690 You have a wife and kids now. 140 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:20,690 I could introduce 141 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:20,690 you to our lawyer. 142 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,360 The three most useless 143 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,360 jobs in the world are, 144 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,360 in order, 145 00:03:24,430 --> 00:03:27,400 lawyer, congressman 146 00:03:24,430 --> 00:03:27,400 and doctor. Pass. 147 00:03:27,470 --> 00:03:30,030 Ron, that document is nothing. 148 00:03:27,470 --> 00:03:30,030 It's not even notarized. 149 00:03:30,470 --> 00:03:32,940 You know, if you die 150 00:03:30,470 --> 00:03:32,940 and you don't 151 00:03:30,470 --> 00:03:32,940 have a real will, 152 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,100 most of what you own 153 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,100 will go to the government. 154 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:38,180 Where is this 155 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:38,180 lawyer you speak of? 156 00:03:38,940 --> 00:03:42,070 I am pleased to 157 00:03:38,940 --> 00:03:42,070 formally submit Bill 68-J, 158 00:03:42,150 --> 00:03:44,840 which funds a new bike 159 00:03:42,150 --> 00:03:44,840 path in Ramsett Park. 160 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,040 Motion to table this bill. 161 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,040 Second. 162 00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:48,980 I also submit Bill 68-R. 163 00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:50,540 Motion to table. 164 00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:50,540 Second. 165 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,190 You guys want to 166 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,190 delay all my bills? 167 00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:53,590 Fine. I'm just going 168 00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:53,590 to keep my head down 169 00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:54,790 and continue to 170 00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:54,790 get work done. 171 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:58,460 Oh, well, motion to 172 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:58,460 end the session early 173 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:58,460 so nothing can get done. 174 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,790 Second. 175 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,790 Ah, you guys are the worst. 176 00:04:00,930 --> 00:04:02,200 Sorry, Knope. 177 00:04:00,930 --> 00:04:02,200 We're just looking 178 00:04:02,270 --> 00:04:03,960 for any possible way 179 00:04:02,270 --> 00:04:03,960 to get you recalled 180 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,200 because we don't like you. 181 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,200 It's nothing personal. 182 00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:07,530 It absolutely is personal. 183 00:04:07,610 --> 00:04:08,730 That is the definition 184 00:04:07,610 --> 00:04:08,730 of "personal." 185 00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:10,470 The definition of "personal." 186 00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:11,530 Ooh! 187 00:04:13,510 --> 00:04:15,780 Excuse me. 188 00:04:13,510 --> 00:04:15,780 We have an issue. 189 00:04:15,850 --> 00:04:18,750 A tweet has been tweeted 190 00:04:15,850 --> 00:04:18,750 from the Parks 191 00:04:15,850 --> 00:04:18,750 and Rec Twitter, 192 00:04:18,820 --> 00:04:20,720 and I'm afraid it is 193 00:04:18,820 --> 00:04:20,720 quite sexually graphic. 194 00:04:20,850 --> 00:04:24,080 It's probably 195 00:04:20,850 --> 00:04:24,080 just some bored teenager 196 00:04:20,850 --> 00:04:24,080 who hacked the account. 197 00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:27,220 Whoever it is, 198 00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:27,220 it is quite serious. 199 00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:27,220 Take a look at this. 200 00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:30,020 I don't want you 201 00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:30,020 to get recalled, 202 00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:30,020 Knope, but damn, 203 00:04:30,090 --> 00:04:31,590 these people know 204 00:04:30,090 --> 00:04:31,590 how to pick a neck massager. 205 00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:34,330 And before you get on my 206 00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:34,330 case about the stickers, 207 00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:34,330 I already did them. 208 00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,490 Donna, there is 209 00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,490 trouble a-brewing. 210 00:04:36,570 --> 00:04:38,870 We think that you 211 00:04:36,570 --> 00:04:38,870 may have accidentally 212 00:04:38,940 --> 00:04:40,730 tweeted from 213 00:04:38,940 --> 00:04:40,730 the Parks and Rec account 214 00:04:40,810 --> 00:04:42,470 rather than your 215 00:04:40,810 --> 00:04:42,470 own personal account. 216 00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:44,130 Oh-oh. What did it say? 217 00:04:44,340 --> 00:04:45,780 "See you tonight. 218 00:04:44,340 --> 00:04:45,780 Hope you like 219 00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:48,240 "tongue baths, 220 00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:48,240 you big, nasty fireman." 221 00:04:48,450 --> 00:04:50,470 Then, there's 222 00:04:48,450 --> 00:04:50,470 a picture of a pair of lips, 223 00:04:50,550 --> 00:04:51,910 and then a picture 224 00:04:50,550 --> 00:04:51,910 of an eggplant. 225 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,980 I am both confused 226 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,980 and, if we're being 227 00:04:54,050 --> 00:04:56,110 totally honest, 228 00:04:54,050 --> 00:04:56,110 a little aroused. 229 00:04:54,050 --> 00:04:56,110 Ew! 230 00:04:56,190 --> 00:04:58,280 Not to give you 231 00:04:56,190 --> 00:04:58,280 too much of a peek 232 00:04:56,190 --> 00:04:58,280 into my personal life, 233 00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,880 but this could 234 00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,880 have been way worse. 235 00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:02,050 What's important is 236 00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:02,050 we deleted the tweet, 237 00:05:02,130 --> 00:05:03,360 and nobody is going 238 00:05:02,130 --> 00:05:03,360 to know it's you. 239 00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:05,290 But Donna, 240 00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:05,290 you know, be more 241 00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:05,290 careful in the future. 242 00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:07,390 This could have 243 00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:07,390 really blown up 244 00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:07,390 in my face. 245 00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:12,730 I'm here live at 246 00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:12,730 a press conference, 247 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,070 where Councilman Jeremy 248 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,070 Jamm will discuss 249 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,340 a government 250 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,340 scandal we are calling 251 00:05:17,410 --> 00:05:19,100 "Twitter Watergate" 252 00:05:17,410 --> 00:05:19,100 until we can find 253 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,010 a snappier name for it. 254 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,570 Tongue baths? 255 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,570 Eggplants? Firemen? 256 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:29,010 Those men are heroes 257 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:29,010 who deserve respect. 9/11. 258 00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:32,560 This is how Leslie Knope 259 00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:32,560 runs her Parks Department? 260 00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:36,490 We are going to hold 261 00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:36,490 hearing after hearing 262 00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:36,490 until we are satisfied. 263 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:40,520 This will be blown 264 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:40,520 way out of proportion. 265 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:40,520 You have my word on it. 266 00:05:42,630 --> 00:05:44,330 Ooh. This is bad. 267 00:05:42,630 --> 00:05:44,330 I'm going to get fired. 268 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,030 No one is getting 269 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,030 fired. Okay? 270 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,830 Jamm is trying to use this 271 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,830 to hurt me in the recall. 272 00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:50,940 He's trying to take me down, 273 00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:50,940 and he's willing 274 00:05:51,010 --> 00:05:52,700 to attack my friends 275 00:05:51,010 --> 00:05:52,700 in the process? 276 00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:54,680 No. No way. 277 00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:54,680 Not on my watch. 278 00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:54,680 Not on her watch. 279 00:05:54,750 --> 00:05:55,940 He is not going 280 00:05:54,750 --> 00:05:55,940 to sully your name. 281 00:05:56,010 --> 00:05:57,000 No sullying allowed. 282 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,110 Don't worry about it, 283 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,110 Donna. We're going to 284 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,110 nip this in the bud. 285 00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:00,780 Guard your buds. 286 00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:00,780 Because they're 287 00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:00,780 about to get nipped. 288 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,010 Okay. 289 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:09,320 So, why does 290 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:09,320 Doctors Without Borders 291 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:09,320 want to come to Pawnee? 292 00:06:09,390 --> 00:06:11,860 Pawnee is like a petri 293 00:06:09,390 --> 00:06:11,860 dish of weird diseases. 294 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,490 Did you know you have 295 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,490 a higher rate of the 296 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,430 West Nile virus than 297 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,430 the actual Western Nile? 298 00:06:15,530 --> 00:06:18,500 Sorry, West Nile. 299 00:06:15,530 --> 00:06:18,500 Looks like Pawnee 300 00:06:15,530 --> 00:06:18,500 wins again. 301 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,070 What else have you beaten 302 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,070 the Western Nile in? 303 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,360 Cricket. 304 00:06:24,140 --> 00:06:26,610 Ah. Just fill out 305 00:06:24,140 --> 00:06:26,610 these forms 306 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:30,440 and we will be all 307 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:30,440 set like two 308 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:30,440 biscuits inside a tin. 309 00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:36,720 So, you've gone insane. 310 00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:36,720 That's fun. 311 00:06:36,790 --> 00:06:38,780 I just panicked. 312 00:06:36,790 --> 00:06:38,780 She's so out of my league, 313 00:06:38,860 --> 00:06:40,290 my brain just 314 00:06:38,860 --> 00:06:40,290 made me talk that way 315 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,020 so I'd seem cooler. 316 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,020 What should I do? 317 00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:44,530 Nothing. This is amazing. 318 00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:44,530 April! 319 00:06:45,730 --> 00:06:46,990 Fine. If you want 320 00:06:45,730 --> 00:06:46,990 to have a chance 321 00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:48,500 with her, obviously, 322 00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:48,500 you have to stop. 323 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,500 It's either that or 324 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,500 you talk like that 325 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,500 for the rest of your life. 326 00:06:52,140 --> 00:06:54,130 You think she'd marry me? 327 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,770 All right, just let 328 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,770 me do the talking here. 329 00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:58,100 Okay? I mean, 330 00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:58,100 he's a lawyer, 331 00:06:58,180 --> 00:07:00,040 I'm an accountant. 332 00:06:58,180 --> 00:07:00,040 We speak the same language. 333 00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:03,610 I mean, obviously, 334 00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:03,610 accountants are 335 00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:03,610 a little more bad boy. 336 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,880 But there's a respect there. 337 00:07:06,020 --> 00:07:07,280 When will this be over? 338 00:07:07,390 --> 00:07:10,510 Hey, Trevor. 339 00:07:07,390 --> 00:07:10,510 I've been talking to Ron 340 00:07:07,390 --> 00:07:10,510 about estate planning, 341 00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:14,990 and he is here to do 342 00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:14,990 some good will hunting. 343 00:07:15,730 --> 00:07:17,560 Because he has to 344 00:07:15,730 --> 00:07:17,560 draw up a new will, so... 345 00:07:17,730 --> 00:07:19,560 Yes, I understand, 346 00:07:17,730 --> 00:07:19,560 Mr. Wyatt. Thank you. 347 00:07:19,630 --> 00:07:21,100 As I've said before, 348 00:07:19,630 --> 00:07:21,100 I just don't like puns. 349 00:07:21,330 --> 00:07:23,820 Oh. Well, my accountant 350 00:07:21,330 --> 00:07:23,820 friends seem to enjoy them. 351 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,500 Mr. Swanson, let's begin 352 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,500 by filling out 353 00:07:26,570 --> 00:07:28,560 this form listing your 354 00:07:26,570 --> 00:07:28,560 assets and liabilities. 355 00:07:28,670 --> 00:07:30,110 Nice try. 356 00:07:30,170 --> 00:07:31,340 I'm not telling 357 00:07:30,170 --> 00:07:31,340 you how much 358 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,410 money I have, 359 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,410 where it's hidden, 360 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:36,070 or which precious 361 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:36,070 metals and/or gemstones 362 00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:37,910 it may or may not 363 00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:37,910 take the form of. 364 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,450 If you don't give me 365 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,450 the information I need, 366 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,450 there's nothing I can do. 367 00:07:40,550 --> 00:07:43,920 Come on, Trevor. 368 00:07:40,550 --> 00:07:43,920 Where there's a will, 369 00:07:40,550 --> 00:07:43,920 there's a way. 370 00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:47,310 I'm going to say this 371 00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:47,310 one last time, Wyatt. 372 00:07:47,390 --> 00:07:48,830 Check the accountant 373 00:07:47,390 --> 00:07:48,830 crap at the door. 374 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,830 Yes, sir, I will. 375 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,830 Unintentional. 376 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,000 All right, let's begin. 377 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,000 These hearings have two goals. 378 00:07:56,730 --> 00:08:01,100 One, to find out 379 00:07:56,730 --> 00:08:01,100 exactly how this offensive 380 00:07:56,730 --> 00:08:01,100 tweet came to be sent. 381 00:08:01,270 --> 00:08:03,900 And two, 382 00:08:01,270 --> 00:08:03,900 to turn this whole thing 383 00:08:01,270 --> 00:08:03,900 into a media circus. 384 00:08:04,340 --> 00:08:05,670 Ms. Knope, 385 00:08:04,340 --> 00:08:05,670 do you have a statement? 386 00:08:05,810 --> 00:08:07,400 Well, it's actually 387 00:08:05,810 --> 00:08:07,400 quite simple. 388 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,680 A Parks and Rec employee 389 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,680 forgot to log out 390 00:08:10,850 --> 00:08:12,940 of the Parks and Rec 391 00:08:10,850 --> 00:08:12,940 Twitter account, 392 00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:16,550 and they posted a personal, 393 00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:16,550 private message by accident. 394 00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:19,490 And that person is 395 00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:19,490 very sorry and it 396 00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:19,490 won't happen again. 397 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,550 Stop stonewalling and tell 398 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,550 us what happened here. 399 00:08:22,630 --> 00:08:26,090 I just told you what happened. 400 00:08:22,630 --> 00:08:26,090 It was an unfortunate mistake. 401 00:08:26,430 --> 00:08:28,660 All right. Sadly, 402 00:08:26,430 --> 00:08:28,660 due to your intracksidence... 403 00:08:28,870 --> 00:08:30,990 Not a word. 404 00:08:28,870 --> 00:08:30,990 We may never find 405 00:08:28,870 --> 00:08:30,990 out what happened. 406 00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:35,540 When this sick, depraved 407 00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:35,540 tweet first came to light, 408 00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:35,540 you said, 409 00:08:35,770 --> 00:08:40,110 "The account was 410 00:08:35,770 --> 00:08:40,110 probably hacked 411 00:08:35,770 --> 00:08:40,110 by some bored teenager." 412 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,680 Now, you're saying 413 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,680 it's an unfortunate mistake. 414 00:08:43,510 --> 00:08:44,680 Why do you keep 415 00:08:43,510 --> 00:08:44,680 flip-flopping? 416 00:08:44,850 --> 00:08:47,250 Well, because I 417 00:08:44,850 --> 00:08:47,250 learned new information. 418 00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:51,220 When I was four, 419 00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:51,220 I thought that chocolate 420 00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:51,220 milk came from brown cows. 421 00:08:51,290 --> 00:08:54,350 And then, I "flip-flopped" 422 00:08:51,290 --> 00:08:54,350 when I found out that there 423 00:08:54,430 --> 00:08:56,450 was something 424 00:08:54,430 --> 00:08:56,450 called chocolate syrup. 425 00:08:56,660 --> 00:08:59,290 I don't think I'm 426 00:08:56,660 --> 00:08:59,290 out of line when I say 427 00:08:56,660 --> 00:08:59,290 that this scandal makes 428 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,200 Benghazi look 429 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,200 like Whitewater. 430 00:09:02,070 --> 00:09:03,330 That's utterly meaningless. 431 00:09:03,570 --> 00:09:07,130 I think we need to hear 432 00:09:03,570 --> 00:09:07,130 from the unnamed employee 433 00:09:03,570 --> 00:09:07,130 behind the tweet. 434 00:09:07,410 --> 00:09:08,930 Perhaps he or she... 435 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,940 Or them. Could be 436 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,940 a bunch of hot ladies. 437 00:09:12,340 --> 00:09:15,640 Yes. Perhaps "them" 438 00:09:12,340 --> 00:09:15,640 can finally give us 439 00:09:12,340 --> 00:09:15,640 the answers we need. 440 00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:19,840 What, what, what? 441 00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:19,840 There she is. 442 00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:22,040 Nadia, I didn't 443 00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:22,040 know what you wanted, 444 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,520 so I got you 445 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,520 a cappuccino, a latte, 446 00:09:23,590 --> 00:09:27,290 four bags of coffee beans 447 00:09:23,590 --> 00:09:27,290 and a mini espresso machine. 448 00:09:27,430 --> 00:09:29,090 What happened 449 00:09:27,430 --> 00:09:29,090 to your accent? 450 00:09:30,460 --> 00:09:32,400 Oh, yeah, it's gone. 451 00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:35,770 Huh. You know, 452 00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:35,770 I had a cold recently. 453 00:09:35,830 --> 00:09:37,860 And I think that may 454 00:09:35,830 --> 00:09:37,860 have affected my voice, 455 00:09:37,940 --> 00:09:40,400 like, in certain 456 00:09:37,940 --> 00:09:40,400 British ways. 457 00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:42,340 Well, that's all 458 00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:42,340 there is to that story. 459 00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:43,900 So, no need for 460 00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:43,900 any more questions. 461 00:09:43,970 --> 00:09:46,840 You have a cold? 462 00:09:43,970 --> 00:09:46,840 Can I feel your glands? 463 00:09:46,910 --> 00:09:48,110 Sure. 464 00:09:48,850 --> 00:09:51,680 Wow. You are wearing 465 00:09:48,850 --> 00:09:51,680 a lot of moisturizer 466 00:09:48,850 --> 00:09:51,680 on your throat. 467 00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:53,610 Best way to 468 00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:53,610 prevent crow's neck. 469 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,310 Is this glitter? 470 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,890 So, those are the forms. 471 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,890 You filled them out. 472 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,250 Great. April's going 473 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,250 to file these. 474 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,360 Hey. When is the thing 475 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,360 you're doing in the park? 476 00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:04,520 I'd love to come by. 477 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,660 Maybe help 478 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,660 administer vaccines? 479 00:10:06,930 --> 00:10:08,960 Oh. Are you a doctor somehow? 480 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,030 No. 481 00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:14,040 No follow-up to that? 482 00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:14,040 Okay, great. 483 00:10:14,170 --> 00:10:16,570 Well, I'm not actually 484 00:10:14,170 --> 00:10:16,570 going to be attending 485 00:10:14,170 --> 00:10:16,570 the event. 486 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,470 So, if you could 487 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,470 just give me the permit 488 00:10:18,540 --> 00:10:22,210 so that I can go home 489 00:10:18,540 --> 00:10:22,210 to Indianapolis and 490 00:10:18,540 --> 00:10:22,210 never come back here. 491 00:10:23,510 --> 00:10:27,750 I am in love with Nadia 492 00:10:23,510 --> 00:10:27,750 whatever-her-last-name-is. 493 00:10:27,950 --> 00:10:30,510 And I'm going to keep 494 00:10:27,950 --> 00:10:30,510 her here using the most 495 00:10:27,950 --> 00:10:30,510 powerful weapon I have. 496 00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:32,680 Bureaucratic incompetence. 497 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:34,690 Oh, no. 498 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,790 You filled 499 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,790 out form 3208. 500 00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:41,260 You were supposed to 501 00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:41,260 fill out form 3248. 502 00:10:41,430 --> 00:10:44,630 Oh, God. This is to lease 503 00:10:41,430 --> 00:10:44,630 a hangar at the airport. 504 00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:46,900 I know. It's so crazy, 505 00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:46,900 it almost sounds made up. 506 00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:49,970 Bureaucracy, right? 507 00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:49,970 What are you going to do? 508 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:54,510 Huh? Weird. Someone 509 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:54,510 left out a blender, 510 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:54,510 fresh fruits and rum? 511 00:10:54,810 --> 00:10:56,510 I guess we've got to, 512 00:10:54,810 --> 00:10:56,510 like, make daiquiris now. 513 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,980 I like to listen to music 514 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,980 while I work, you know? 515 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:00,980 You feel that song? 516 00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:03,980 What is this place? 517 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,850 Ms. Meagle, 518 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,850 let me first say that 519 00:11:08,930 --> 00:11:10,950 I am a big fan 520 00:11:08,930 --> 00:11:10,950 of your writing. 521 00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:12,720 Thank you. 522 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:16,390 It's good stuff. 523 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:16,390 Really good stuff. 524 00:11:16,730 --> 00:11:19,400 Okay. Does anyone else here 525 00:11:16,730 --> 00:11:19,400 see a double standard? 526 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:21,140 Councilman Dexhart 527 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:21,140 is currently 528 00:11:21,210 --> 00:11:22,570 being sued by 529 00:11:21,210 --> 00:11:22,570 two different women 530 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,730 for sexual harassment. 531 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,440 One of whom was the judge 532 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,440 in the first woman's trial. 533 00:11:26,710 --> 00:11:28,140 She was talking dirty to me. 534 00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:30,880 She was reading the 535 00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:30,880 e-mails that you sent 536 00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:30,880 to the first woman. 537 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:34,910 Look, I obviously never 538 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:34,910 meant to embarrass 539 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:34,910 the Parks Department. 540 00:11:35,050 --> 00:11:37,150 My personal account 541 00:11:35,050 --> 00:11:37,150 is set to private. 542 00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:39,720 Yeah. I don't even know 543 00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:39,720 what she writes on there. 544 00:11:39,860 --> 00:11:42,160 Well, you may not 545 00:11:39,860 --> 00:11:42,160 know what she's 546 00:11:39,860 --> 00:11:42,160 writing, but we do. 547 00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:46,860 In a shocking twist to 548 00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:46,860 an already juicy story, 549 00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:46,860 we have obtained access 550 00:11:46,930 --> 00:11:50,030 to Ms. Meagle's 551 00:11:46,930 --> 00:11:50,030 account via a third party. 552 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:52,830 Same hairdresser. 553 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,440 Damn it, Typhoon. 554 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,440 Why did you do this? 555 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:57,870 Maybe if you had 556 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:57,870 bothered to come to 557 00:11:57,940 --> 00:11:59,470 my Great Gatsby brunch, 558 00:11:57,940 --> 00:11:59,470 you'd know. 559 00:12:01,780 --> 00:12:04,010 I don't even need 560 00:12:01,780 --> 00:12:04,010 an exact number. 561 00:12:01,780 --> 00:12:04,010 Just ballpark it. 562 00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:05,310 That's all I 563 00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:05,310 need to get started. 564 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,610 Or I'm sure the state 565 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,610 government would love 566 00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:10,050 to use your money to 567 00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:10,050 hire more bureaucrats. 568 00:12:10,150 --> 00:12:12,020 Maybe build a library. 569 00:12:10,150 --> 00:12:12,020 Fine! 570 00:12:13,090 --> 00:12:14,350 A ballpark figure. 571 00:12:14,430 --> 00:12:15,620 Thank you. God. 572 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,600 Holy. 573 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,600 Is this a joke? 574 00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:27,240 Another word for 575 00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:27,240 jokes is "lies." 576 00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,570 I do not lie. 577 00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,570 Therefore, I do not joke. 578 00:12:29,810 --> 00:12:32,110 Mr. Swanson, 579 00:12:29,810 --> 00:12:32,110 an estate of this size 580 00:12:32,180 --> 00:12:33,510 means that your 581 00:12:32,180 --> 00:12:33,510 children would never 582 00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:35,010 have to work 583 00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:35,010 a day in their lives. 584 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,450 This is going to 585 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,450 take some time. 586 00:12:36,780 --> 00:12:39,440 Trusts need to be drawn, 587 00:12:36,780 --> 00:12:39,440 tax shelters... 588 00:12:36,780 --> 00:12:39,440 That's enough. 589 00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:43,110 I don't need some 590 00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:43,110 drawn-out legal expedition 591 00:12:43,190 --> 00:12:44,590 to tell me what I 592 00:12:43,190 --> 00:12:44,590 knew when I was eight. 593 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:46,320 Here is my original will. 594 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,380 Do whatever lawyer 595 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,380 nonsense you have to, 596 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,380 to make it official 597 00:12:48,460 --> 00:12:50,360 and I will sign it. 598 00:12:48,460 --> 00:12:50,360 Good day. 599 00:12:50,930 --> 00:12:52,990 Wait. 600 00:12:50,930 --> 00:12:52,990 What are all 601 00:12:50,930 --> 00:12:52,990 these symbols? 602 00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:57,000 I was right not to 603 00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:57,000 be threatened by you. 604 00:12:58,340 --> 00:13:00,770 Okay. I would like to 605 00:12:58,340 --> 00:13:00,770 enter into the record 606 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,700 a selection of 607 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,700 Ms. Meagle's tweets. 608 00:13:02,970 --> 00:13:05,310 Uh-oh. Can I request 609 00:13:02,970 --> 00:13:05,310 a brief recess? 610 00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:07,310 It's okay, Donna. 611 00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:07,310 I'm not going to 612 00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:07,310 let them fire you. 613 00:13:07,610 --> 00:13:09,410 Yeah, it's not me 614 00:13:07,610 --> 00:13:09,410 I'm worried about. 615 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:10,640 Ms. Beavers, if you please. 616 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,850 Yesterday, 9:02 a.m. 617 00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:18,580 "Annoying-ass Leslie 618 00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:18,580 has given me another 619 00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:18,580 annoying-ass task. 620 00:13:18,790 --> 00:13:22,160 "Number sign stickers, 621 00:13:18,790 --> 00:13:22,160 number sign BitchBoss." 622 00:13:23,090 --> 00:13:26,060 "September 25th. 623 00:13:23,090 --> 00:13:26,060 Twitter poll. 624 00:13:26,230 --> 00:13:31,030 "On a scale of 98 to 100, 625 00:13:26,230 --> 00:13:31,030 how annoying is Leslie Knope? 626 00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:34,100 "Because you know it 627 00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:34,100 ain't less than 98. 628 00:13:34,470 --> 00:13:38,880 "All my number 629 00:13:34,470 --> 00:13:38,880 sign True Blood fans 630 00:13:34,470 --> 00:13:38,880 know what's up." 631 00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:43,600 Page after page 632 00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:43,600 of personal attacks 633 00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:43,600 on Leslie Knope. 634 00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:46,620 Not only do you 635 00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:46,620 have no control 636 00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:46,620 over your department, 637 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:48,710 you don't even have 638 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:48,710 the respect of your 639 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:48,710 employees. 640 00:13:48,790 --> 00:13:50,810 That's what you 641 00:13:48,790 --> 00:13:50,810 really think of me? 642 00:13:48,790 --> 00:13:50,810 You think I'm annoying? 643 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:53,610 Leslie, sometimes 644 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:53,610 you're kind of annoying. 645 00:13:53,690 --> 00:13:54,890 I mean, I thought 646 00:13:53,690 --> 00:13:54,890 that was your thing. 647 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,750 My thing? My thing 648 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,750 is not being annoying. 649 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,090 My things are making 650 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,090 friendship bracelets 651 00:14:01,170 --> 00:14:02,660 and dancing like 652 00:14:01,170 --> 00:14:02,660 nobody's watching. 653 00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:05,170 Thinking up really 654 00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:05,170 cool nicknames 655 00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:05,170 for my friends. 656 00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:07,530 You, of all people, 657 00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:07,530 should know that, 658 00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:07,530 El Diablo. 659 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,740 Look. The only 660 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,740 reason I'm even 661 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,740 on Twitter 662 00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:11,110 is to blow off 663 00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:11,110 steam about work 664 00:14:11,210 --> 00:14:13,510 and tweet nasty stuff 665 00:14:11,210 --> 00:14:13,510 to dudes with washboard abs. 666 00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:15,840 You really think 667 00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:15,840 I hate you, 668 00:14:15,910 --> 00:14:17,910 after all we've been 669 00:14:15,910 --> 00:14:17,910 through the last 10 years? 670 00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:20,250 I honestly don't 671 00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:20,250 know anymore. 672 00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:24,150 Okay, I think we've done 673 00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:24,150 a lot of good here today. 674 00:14:27,930 --> 00:14:29,760 Leslie, I'm sorry, 675 00:14:27,930 --> 00:14:29,760 but I could not 676 00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:31,230 postpone these 677 00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:31,230 pointless hearings 678 00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,290 that Jamm is having. 679 00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,290 He is just determined. 680 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,200 Well, thank you for trying. 681 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,200 I have a question for you. 682 00:14:36,530 --> 00:14:38,000 Do you think I'm annoying? 683 00:14:36,530 --> 00:14:38,000 No. 684 00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:39,430 Are you lying? 685 00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:39,430 No. 686 00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:41,130 Are you trying to 687 00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:41,130 protect my feelings? 688 00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:41,130 No. 689 00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:43,000 Do you think I'm 690 00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:43,000 being annoying right now? 691 00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:43,000 Yes. 692 00:14:43,140 --> 00:14:44,570 So, you do think 693 00:14:43,140 --> 00:14:44,570 I'm annoying. 694 00:14:45,310 --> 00:14:47,640 I think that you ask 695 00:14:45,310 --> 00:14:47,640 a lot of the people 696 00:14:45,310 --> 00:14:47,640 that you work with. 697 00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:51,240 And I think the people 698 00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:51,240 do what you ask 699 00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:51,240 because they love you. 700 00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:54,280 But I also think that 701 00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:54,280 driving people as hard 702 00:14:54,350 --> 00:14:56,580 as you do can 703 00:14:54,350 --> 00:14:56,580 ruffle some feathers. 704 00:14:57,220 --> 00:14:59,780 I think a lot of things. 705 00:14:57,220 --> 00:14:59,780 I like thinking. 706 00:14:57,220 --> 00:14:59,780 And racquetball. 707 00:14:59,890 --> 00:15:00,980 Now who's annoying? 708 00:15:01,130 --> 00:15:03,960 I spent the last hour 709 00:15:01,130 --> 00:15:03,960 reading some of 710 00:15:01,130 --> 00:15:03,960 Donna's old tweets. 711 00:15:04,030 --> 00:15:06,330 And turns out there 712 00:15:04,030 --> 00:15:06,330 are some more things 713 00:15:04,030 --> 00:15:06,330 that she's said about you. 714 00:15:06,630 --> 00:15:10,120 "Message to the recall 715 00:15:06,630 --> 00:15:10,120 haters. You can't keep 716 00:15:06,630 --> 00:15:10,120 Leslie Knope down. 717 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,190 "She's too real for this ish. 718 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,190 Hashtag BossBitch." 719 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,470 "Leslie Knope is 720 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,470 stepping up at these 721 00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:17,940 "hearings and 722 00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:17,940 taking a bullet for me. 723 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:21,380 "Hashtag Sister 724 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:21,380 From Another Mister, 725 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:21,380 hashtag BossBitch." 726 00:15:21,450 --> 00:15:24,010 It appears, whereas 727 00:15:21,450 --> 00:15:24,010 "BitchBoss" is clearly 728 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:25,310 an indication of 729 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:25,310 her frustration, 730 00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:28,550 "BossBitch" is 731 00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:28,550 a term of endearment. 732 00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:28,550 Isn't language fun? 733 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,350 It's like racquetball 734 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,350 for your mouth. 735 00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:33,580 Did you change 736 00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:33,580 your outfit? 737 00:15:34,630 --> 00:15:36,530 I've changed five times, 738 00:15:34,630 --> 00:15:36,530 and she hasn't noticed yet. 739 00:15:36,590 --> 00:15:38,460 I can only stall 740 00:15:36,590 --> 00:15:38,460 for so long. 741 00:15:36,590 --> 00:15:38,460 What should I do? 742 00:15:38,530 --> 00:15:41,660 Um, I just finished 743 00:15:38,530 --> 00:15:41,660 filling this one out. 744 00:15:38,530 --> 00:15:41,660 I didn't know what to put for 745 00:15:41,730 --> 00:15:43,360 "Name of Commercial 746 00:15:41,730 --> 00:15:43,360 Airline" because 747 00:15:43,430 --> 00:15:45,030 I do not operate 748 00:15:43,430 --> 00:15:45,030 a commercial airline. 749 00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:46,090 So, I just made one up. 750 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,000 What did you name 751 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,000 your imaginary airline? 752 00:15:48,140 --> 00:15:50,570 "Jet Blue Ivy." 753 00:15:48,140 --> 00:15:50,570 I figure Jay-Z 754 00:15:48,140 --> 00:15:50,570 and Beyoncé's 755 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:52,010 kid will own her 756 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:52,010 own airline eventually. 757 00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:55,040 She's the one. 758 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,150 So, can I have 759 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,150 my permit now? Finally? 760 00:15:58,350 --> 00:15:59,340 Uh... 761 00:16:00,020 --> 00:16:04,420 No. There was a mistake, 762 00:16:00,020 --> 00:16:04,420 and we gave the park 763 00:16:00,020 --> 00:16:04,420 to someone else. 764 00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:06,750 What? 765 00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:06,750 Maybe I can drive you around 766 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,690 and we'll pick 767 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,690 another one? 768 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,090 Maybe I'll bring 769 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,090 a picnic lunch. 770 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,090 Do you like tamales? 771 00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:13,530 You said that that 772 00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:13,530 park was ours. 773 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,330 You said it a long time 774 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,330 ago in a British accent. 775 00:16:16,430 --> 00:16:18,960 I probably shouldn't 776 00:16:16,430 --> 00:16:18,960 say this as a doctor. 777 00:16:16,430 --> 00:16:18,960 It's probably not cool. 778 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,210 But I really hope you 779 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,210 all get West Nile virus. 780 00:16:22,270 --> 00:16:25,870 Nice meeting you, April. 781 00:16:22,270 --> 00:16:25,870 Kind of. You're weird, too. 782 00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:27,470 Thank you. 783 00:16:32,180 --> 00:16:33,450 We need to talk. 784 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:34,710 That has never been true. 785 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:36,950 I think I know 786 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:36,950 what's happening. 787 00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:38,750 Thinking about 788 00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:38,750 how to divide up 789 00:16:38,820 --> 00:16:40,850 your possessions 790 00:16:38,820 --> 00:16:40,850 for when you die... 791 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,690 It's tough confronting 792 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,690 your own mortality. 793 00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:47,160 And I think it's got 794 00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:47,160 you spinning a little bit. 795 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:48,590 Am I right? 796 00:16:49,230 --> 00:16:52,170 Wow. I had not 797 00:16:49,230 --> 00:16:52,170 considered that. 798 00:16:52,370 --> 00:16:54,700 Yes, I think that maybe 799 00:16:52,370 --> 00:16:54,700 you are onto something. 800 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:58,400 Yeah. Just know that 801 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:58,400 it's perfectly healthy 802 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:58,400 to be thinking about... 803 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:01,230 Oh, you're joking. 804 00:17:01,350 --> 00:17:05,510 Yes, son, I am. 805 00:17:01,350 --> 00:17:05,510 First joke ever. 806 00:17:01,350 --> 00:17:05,510 Don't care for it. 807 00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:10,010 Death does not scare me. 808 00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:10,010 What I am worried about 809 00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:10,010 is spoiling my children. 810 00:17:10,820 --> 00:17:13,380 I don't want them 811 00:17:10,820 --> 00:17:13,380 to be the kind of 812 00:17:10,820 --> 00:17:13,380 people who never work, 813 00:17:13,790 --> 00:17:17,250 live off their trust funds, 814 00:17:13,790 --> 00:17:17,250 who buy their 815 00:17:13,790 --> 00:17:17,250 wooden furniture. 816 00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:19,990 I will leave my 817 00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:19,990 children $50 a piece 818 00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:21,730 for the cab home 819 00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:21,730 from my funeral 820 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,390 and a steak dinner. 821 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,390 End of discussion. 822 00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:25,770 Okay. I mean, look. 823 00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:25,770 It doesn't matter 824 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:27,360 how much money 825 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:27,360 you leave your kids. 826 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,070 What matters is that 827 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,070 you teach them 828 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,070 the right values. 829 00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:32,200 But if something 830 00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:32,200 horrible happens and 831 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:33,870 you want your kids 832 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:33,870 to be left alone with 833 00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:35,540 no safety net just 834 00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:35,540 so they can learn some 835 00:17:35,610 --> 00:17:37,840 kind of weird lesson, 836 00:17:35,610 --> 00:17:37,840 then by all means, 837 00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,810 leave your fortune 838 00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,810 to the wild boar who 839 00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,810 gores you to death. 840 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,110 I'd never lose to a boar. 841 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,290 I'm sorry if I can 842 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,290 be a little annoying 843 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,290 at times. 844 00:17:55,370 --> 00:17:57,060 But one person's "annoying" 845 00:17:57,170 --> 00:17:59,470 is another person's 846 00:17:57,170 --> 00:17:59,470 "inspiring and heroic." 847 00:17:59,540 --> 00:18:01,600 So, you know, 848 00:17:59,540 --> 00:18:01,600 who are we to judge? 849 00:18:01,770 --> 00:18:06,230 And I'm sorry for 850 00:18:01,770 --> 00:18:06,230 writing those things. 851 00:18:01,770 --> 00:18:06,230 Some of those things. 852 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:11,380 I can't promise that 853 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:11,380 I won't be inspiring 854 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:11,380 and heroic in the future. 855 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,080 And I can't 856 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,080 promise that I won't 857 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,080 complain about it. 858 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,650 Deal. 859 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,650 I got you an 860 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,650 apology present. 861 00:18:17,990 --> 00:18:21,190 Oh. 862 00:18:17,990 --> 00:18:21,190 It is all of your favorite 863 00:18:17,990 --> 00:18:21,190 lipsticks and nail polishes. 864 00:18:21,260 --> 00:18:22,350 And I got the same ones, too. 865 00:18:22,430 --> 00:18:24,790 I printed out 866 00:18:22,430 --> 00:18:24,790 a schedule so we can wear 867 00:18:22,430 --> 00:18:24,790 them at the same time. 868 00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:27,900 Now, I would like 869 00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:27,900 you to open each one 870 00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:27,900 in front of me and tell me 871 00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:29,520 how you feel about 872 00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:29,520 them individually. 873 00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:31,060 Let me take a picture. 874 00:18:31,470 --> 00:18:32,490 Are you tweeting this? 875 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:33,660 Mmm-hmm. 876 00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:36,100 What's the hashtag 877 00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:36,100 going to be? 878 00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:36,100 "BossBitch" or "BitchBoss"? 879 00:18:36,270 --> 00:18:37,370 Yeah, it's "PsychoBoss." 880 00:18:38,010 --> 00:18:39,740 Mmm. I don't hate that. 881 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,450 Benjamin. After thinking 882 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,450 about what you said, 883 00:18:44,510 --> 00:18:48,250 I've decided to leave 884 00:18:44,510 --> 00:18:48,250 each of my children 885 00:18:44,510 --> 00:18:48,250 5% of my fortune. 886 00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:50,920 Wow, five whole percent. 887 00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:53,820 So, I guess you are 888 00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:53,820 going to teach them 889 00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:53,820 a lesson. Oh, my God. 890 00:18:53,890 --> 00:18:59,120 That's 5%? 891 00:18:53,890 --> 00:18:59,120 That is a lot of money. 892 00:18:53,890 --> 00:18:59,120 Wait, is this a joke? 893 00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:02,600 It is not a joke. Not that 894 00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:02,600 an accountant would 895 00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:02,600 know the difference. 896 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,860 Also, if something 897 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,860 should happen 898 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,860 to Diane and me, 899 00:19:06,370 --> 00:19:07,840 we decided that 900 00:19:06,370 --> 00:19:07,840 the kids should go to 901 00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:09,670 the most important 902 00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:09,670 people in our lives. 903 00:19:10,310 --> 00:19:13,570 Ron, I'm incredibly 904 00:19:10,310 --> 00:19:13,570 flattered. 905 00:19:13,710 --> 00:19:15,980 Ralph Piatkowski 906 00:19:13,710 --> 00:19:15,980 and his wife, Helen. 907 00:19:16,050 --> 00:19:18,210 He's the maître d' at 908 00:19:16,050 --> 00:19:18,210 Mulligan's Steakhouse, 909 00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:20,110 and he knows me 910 00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:20,110 better than anyone. 911 00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:22,350 However, if they 912 00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:22,350 are not able to do it, 913 00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:24,390 which seems likely, 914 00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:24,390 as they're in their 90s, 915 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,150 you and Leslie are 916 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,150 choice number two. 917 00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:28,850 I'm honored. 918 00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:33,030 Everyone, take your seats, 919 00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:33,030 so this witch hunt may 920 00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:33,030 proceed as scheduled. 921 00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:35,290 Speaking of, 922 00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:35,290 where are the witches? 923 00:19:35,370 --> 00:19:36,390 They're right here. 924 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,470 Well, we're not witches. 925 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,470 That's sexist 926 00:19:38,540 --> 00:19:40,370 and offensive. 927 00:19:38,540 --> 00:19:40,370 But we're right here. 928 00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:43,340 And we are not going 929 00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:43,340 to sit in this room 930 00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:43,340 and let you drag our names 931 00:19:43,410 --> 00:19:45,840 through the mud just 932 00:19:43,410 --> 00:19:45,840 to score some cheap 933 00:19:43,410 --> 00:19:45,840 political points. 934 00:19:45,910 --> 00:19:49,710 How dare you demean 935 00:19:45,910 --> 00:19:49,710 the value of the political 936 00:19:45,910 --> 00:19:49,710 points I'm scoring? 937 00:19:49,850 --> 00:19:51,680 We have had enough. 938 00:19:49,850 --> 00:19:51,680 I'm going back to 939 00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:53,380 work so I can do 940 00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:53,380 some good for this town. 941 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,350 And my friend, 942 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,350 Donna, is coming with me. 943 00:19:55,420 --> 00:19:57,150 Hmm. I prefer El Diablo. 944 00:19:57,490 --> 00:19:59,220 Uh, this is not over, 945 00:19:57,490 --> 00:19:59,220 Ms. Knope. 946 00:19:59,890 --> 00:20:02,720 Donna, quit punishing me. 947 00:19:59,890 --> 00:20:02,720 I miss you. 948 00:20:03,230 --> 00:20:07,160 Uh-huh. Bridge burned, 949 00:20:03,230 --> 00:20:07,160 Typhoon. Or should 950 00:20:03,230 --> 00:20:07,160 I say "Norman"? 951 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:08,790 Uh-huh. 952 00:20:09,230 --> 00:20:12,030 Okay. I'm just going to man 953 00:20:09,230 --> 00:20:12,030 up and tell her how I feel 954 00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:13,870 and hope she feels 955 00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:13,870 the same way about me. 956 00:20:13,940 --> 00:20:15,570 And that's that. 957 00:20:13,940 --> 00:20:15,570 If she doesn't, 958 00:20:13,940 --> 00:20:15,570 no big deal. 959 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,010 It's done. 960 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,010 I'm an adult. 961 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,010 Let's do it. 962 00:20:17,310 --> 00:20:18,470 Great. 963 00:20:19,340 --> 00:20:22,040 Nope. I can't do it. 964 00:20:19,340 --> 00:20:22,040 New plan. Tell her all 965 00:20:19,340 --> 00:20:22,040 the screw-ups were your fault. 966 00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:24,450 I'll tell her I 967 00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:24,450 had to cover for you 968 00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:24,450 because you are so dumb. 969 00:20:24,950 --> 00:20:26,610 Nadia! Good to see you! 970 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,450 We're very 971 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,450 sorry for everything 972 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,450 you went through today. 973 00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:32,220 I have reserved 974 00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:32,220 the park for your event. 975 00:20:32,290 --> 00:20:36,190 Now, April has 976 00:20:32,290 --> 00:20:36,190 something she'd 977 00:20:32,290 --> 00:20:36,190 like to admit. 978 00:20:36,730 --> 00:20:38,720 Tom wants me to tell 979 00:20:36,730 --> 00:20:38,720 you that all the 980 00:20:36,730 --> 00:20:38,720 screw-ups were my fault. 981 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,200 But really, he kept 982 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,200 messing up so that you 983 00:20:40,260 --> 00:20:41,860 would stay in Pawnee 984 00:20:40,260 --> 00:20:41,860 as long as possible 985 00:20:41,930 --> 00:20:43,530 because he is super into you. 986 00:20:45,140 --> 00:20:46,360 Oh. Okay. 987 00:20:46,970 --> 00:20:49,370 Several questions. 988 00:20:46,970 --> 00:20:49,370 Is any part of him British? 989 00:20:49,470 --> 00:20:50,910 No. 990 00:20:49,470 --> 00:20:50,910 So, that was just weird, 991 00:20:51,010 --> 00:20:52,530 panicky, dude behavior? 992 00:20:51,010 --> 00:20:52,530 Yeah. 993 00:20:52,780 --> 00:20:54,680 Okay. I'm just trying 994 00:20:52,780 --> 00:20:54,680 to figure out if acting 995 00:20:54,750 --> 00:20:58,110 that insane is, like, 996 00:20:54,750 --> 00:20:58,110 romantic or totally scary. 997 00:20:58,820 --> 00:21:00,310 I'll go with romantic. 998 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:02,510 He is kind of cute. 999 00:21:02,990 --> 00:21:04,180 What's his deal? 1000 00:21:04,290 --> 00:21:07,520 He's sweet. He's cool. 1001 00:21:04,290 --> 00:21:07,520 And you're, like, 1002 00:21:04,290 --> 00:21:07,520 way out of his league, 1003 00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:10,460 so there's literally no 1004 00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:10,460 risk for you at all here. 1005 00:21:10,730 --> 00:21:13,200 Okay. Well, I'm going 1006 00:21:10,730 --> 00:21:13,200 to Rwanda in, like, 1007 00:21:13,260 --> 00:21:14,890 two weeks for my job, 1008 00:21:13,260 --> 00:21:14,890 so what the hell. 1009 00:21:15,130 --> 00:21:17,000 Cool. 1010 00:21:15,130 --> 00:21:17,000 So, you want to 1011 00:21:15,130 --> 00:21:17,000 go out with me? 1012 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:18,990 Yes, please. 1013 00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,560 Okay. Bye. 1014 00:21:22,370 --> 00:21:25,500 Okay. You owe me, 1015 00:21:22,370 --> 00:21:25,500 like 1,000 favors. 1016 00:21:22,370 --> 00:21:25,500 See you.