1
00:00:03,891 --> 00:00:07,294
Are you getting ready for you nightly
Skype date with Andy in London?
2
00:00:07,322 --> 00:00:10,032
- You look lovely. - I'm going to
murder you a thousand times.
3
00:00:10,056 --> 00:00:11,732
Okay.
4
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,648
What the hell?
5
00:00:14,011 --> 00:00:18,852
♪ Someone's back from London,
no, it's not the queen ♪
6
00:00:18,876 --> 00:00:22,505
♪ Someone's back from
London, it's not Mr. Bean ♪
7
00:00:22,541 --> 00:00:23,516
Oh, my God.
8
00:00:23,535 --> 00:00:26,357
♪ It's not the royal baby,
I think his name is Jeff ♪
9
00:00:26,377 --> 00:00:28,178
Stop singing!
Kiss me!
10
00:00:29,275 --> 00:00:31,206
Oh, my God! What are
you doing here?
11
00:00:31,225 --> 00:00:34,512
Just missed you so bad, honey,
I bought myself a ticket home.
12
00:00:34,752 --> 00:00:37,327
You're never gonna need
that computer again...
13
00:00:38,629 --> 00:00:40,885
'cause I'm home for,
like, 19 hours.
14
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:43,441
This is so sweet.
Just like the old days.
15
00:00:44,272 --> 00:00:46,753
- Take a hike, Jerry.
- It's Larry now.
16
00:00:46,781 --> 00:00:48,466
Okay, take a hike, Larry.
17
00:00:59,939 --> 00:01:07,939
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
18
00:01:08,815 --> 00:01:13,782
Next order of business, Councilman
Jamm proposes Bill 949-C.
19
00:01:13,810 --> 00:01:14,890
That's right, stretch,
20
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,692
and looking mighty fly
in that suit, brother.
21
00:01:17,721 --> 00:01:21,613
Okay, this excellent bill only allows
someone to vote in a Pawnee election,
22
00:01:21,637 --> 00:01:24,557
for example, the upcoming
recall election,
23
00:01:24,582 --> 00:01:28,048
if their I.D. lists an
official Pawnee address.
24
00:01:28,072 --> 00:01:29,992
Really, councilman?
Again?
25
00:01:30,011 --> 00:01:31,327
The recall election
is coming up,
26
00:01:31,353 --> 00:01:33,913
and Jamm keeps trying to figure
out ways to screw me over.
27
00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:36,528
Last week, he tried to have me
listed on the ballot
28
00:01:36,543 --> 00:01:39,195
as "Leslie Buttface
Hitler the Fourth."
29
00:01:39,243 --> 00:01:42,440
All you're trying to do is disenfranchise
the people from former Eagleton,
30
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:45,469
people who will most likely vote for me
because I saved a lot of their jobs.
31
00:01:45,485 --> 00:01:48,079
I move that we table the discussion
until after the election.
32
00:01:48,093 --> 00:01:49,106
- Second.
- Thank you!
33
00:01:49,125 --> 00:01:50,631
- Ah!
- I'm so sorry.
34
00:01:50,662 --> 00:01:53,018
I just get excited
when you like me.
35
00:01:53,406 --> 00:01:56,053
I put my career on the
line by saving Eagleton,
36
00:01:56,084 --> 00:01:58,216
and he's trying to rob
me of their votes?
37
00:01:58,240 --> 00:01:59,403
Those are my votes.
38
00:01:59,431 --> 00:02:01,779
I've earned them! I want them!
Give me those votes!
39
00:02:01,805 --> 00:02:03,448
I don't have them on me.
40
00:02:03,466 --> 00:02:05,461
I can't believe Jamm
tried to pull that crap.
41
00:02:05,484 --> 00:02:06,959
I can.
He's a horrible monster.
42
00:02:06,977 --> 00:02:08,972
But let's focus on the
more important issue.
43
00:02:08,997 --> 00:02:11,299
You want to squeeze in
one more practice session?
44
00:02:11,329 --> 00:02:13,038
Oh, do I?
45
00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:16,126
Tonight, I am throwing Ben
his dream birthday party,
46
00:02:16,157 --> 00:02:19,279
a roller skating bash
with an early '90s theme.
47
00:02:19,302 --> 00:02:21,539
Ben lives for the early '90s.
48
00:02:21,564 --> 00:02:23,875
The music, the fashion.
It's his favorite era.
49
00:02:24,071 --> 00:02:25,571
As for the roller skating--
50
00:02:25,594 --> 00:02:27,891
I have a thing for women
in skates. Okay?
51
00:02:28,122 --> 00:02:30,078
Everyone has a thing,
and that's mine.
52
00:02:30,097 --> 00:02:32,822
As far as things go,
it's pretty innocuous.
53
00:02:32,847 --> 00:02:36,308
Could be one of those dudes that
kisses mannequins or whatever,
54
00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:39,141
but I like a woman in skates.
55
00:02:40,014 --> 00:02:41,358
A lot.
56
00:02:43,358 --> 00:02:46,549
Hey, Ann, Ann called. She
wants her ugly outfit back.
57
00:02:47,655 --> 00:02:49,086
Why are you dressed
as a pilgrim?
58
00:02:49,104 --> 00:02:51,655
Leslie said it was a "Come As
You Were in the '90s" party.
59
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,550
I assumed it was the 1690s.
60
00:02:53,569 --> 00:02:55,985
Babe, if it was the 1690s,
we'd all be mummies.
61
00:02:56,004 --> 00:02:58,049
What do you think mummies are?
62
00:02:58,564 --> 00:02:59,531
Skeletons?
63
00:02:59,565 --> 00:03:00,971
- Oh, boy.
- Hey.
64
00:03:00,985 --> 00:03:03,154
I just came straight from
work, so I couldn't dress up.
65
00:03:03,172 --> 00:03:05,546
No problem. You look wiggidy-wiggidy-
wiggidy-wiggidy-wonderful.
66
00:03:05,566 --> 00:03:10,308
Wait a minute. Pants on backwards.
Kris Kross, right? Nice!
67
00:03:10,561 --> 00:03:11,957
What happens when
you have to pee?
68
00:03:11,986 --> 00:03:13,005
I actually just went.
69
00:03:13,017 --> 00:03:15,318
I had to pull my pants
all the way to the ground
70
00:03:15,356 --> 00:03:17,006
like a toddler.
71
00:03:17,142 --> 00:03:19,006
Nadia, the super hot doctor,
72
00:03:19,023 --> 00:03:20,669
has been hanging out with
me for the last week.
73
00:03:20,688 --> 00:03:22,805
She's definitely
out of my league.
74
00:03:22,834 --> 00:03:25,156
Actually, we're not even
playing the same sport.
75
00:03:25,253 --> 00:03:29,233
It's kind of like she's in NBA and I work
at a muffler store next to the stadium.
76
00:03:29,286 --> 00:03:31,767
I can't believe we met just before you
have to go on your stupid vacation.
77
00:03:31,792 --> 00:03:35,342
I'm doing doctors without borders, man.
I'm going to Rwanda.
78
00:03:35,367 --> 00:03:37,362
Exactly. That's a
stupid vacation.
79
00:03:37,381 --> 00:03:40,851
Okay, well, why don't you
win me that huge-ass bear
80
00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:41,951
as a going-away present?
81
00:03:41,973 --> 00:03:43,436
No problem. I'm a
skee ball master.
82
00:03:43,454 --> 00:03:45,569
No way! Why don't you go pro?
83
00:03:45,653 --> 00:03:47,144
I don't know. I didn't
want to be a cliche.
84
00:03:47,167 --> 00:03:49,401
Yet another professional
Indian skee ball player?
85
00:03:49,424 --> 00:03:50,537
Right.
86
00:03:54,037 --> 00:03:55,813
Now that's what
I call shooting.
87
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,733
Is this a hunting game?
88
00:03:57,764 --> 00:04:00,419
- Yeah, it's fun. You want to play?
- Indeed, I do.
89
00:04:00,599 --> 00:04:03,799
If you'd like, I could
offer you some pointers.
90
00:04:03,932 --> 00:04:05,701
Hunting, Donna,
91
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:09,391
is about silence,
balance, and patience.
92
00:04:11,067 --> 00:04:12,137
Get ready.
93
00:04:15,413 --> 00:04:18,135
You know you're supposed
to hit the deer, rig?
94
00:04:19,197 --> 00:04:20,411
Ugh!
95
00:04:22,048 --> 00:04:24,753
- Get it together, Swanson.
- Well, the game is absurd.
96
00:04:24,828 --> 00:04:28,910
This gun is lightweight, there's no sight,
and we are far too close to these deer.
97
00:04:28,929 --> 00:04:30,595
Would they not smell us?
98
00:04:30,623 --> 00:04:32,567
I want my money back. How
do I get my quarters?
99
00:04:32,585 --> 00:04:34,619
Oh, my God! You are
such a sore loser.
100
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:36,964
I am not a sore loser. It's
just that I prefer to win,
101
00:04:36,983 --> 00:04:38,994
and when I don't,
I get furious.
102
00:04:39,035 --> 00:04:40,515
Employee!
103
00:04:42,678 --> 00:04:44,489
Whoa! Watch this.
104
00:04:44,796 --> 00:04:46,113
Oh, that was brilliant.
105
00:04:46,142 --> 00:04:47,736
Sorry. You probably don't
know what that means.
106
00:04:47,756 --> 00:04:49,738
You know how you Americans say
"cool" when something's cool?
107
00:04:49,763 --> 00:04:51,932
Over in London, we say,
"That's brilliant."
108
00:04:51,965 --> 00:04:55,131
Speaking of London, you haven't
told me anything about work.
109
00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:56,628
- You still love it?
- Yeah, it's awesome.
110
00:04:56,647 --> 00:04:57,978
I'm kicking ass.
111
00:04:58,002 --> 00:05:01,053
I'm like Chuck Norris,
only instead of crushing
112
00:05:01,066 --> 00:05:04,716
bad guys' skulls, I'm
crushing documents.
113
00:05:05,312 --> 00:05:06,567
- That's great.
- Yeah.
114
00:05:06,587 --> 00:05:08,550
Now be the Chuck Norris
of making out with me.
115
00:05:08,568 --> 00:05:11,658
I'll karate punch your
face with my tongue.
116
00:05:11,763 --> 00:05:14,084
- Prove it.
- Hi-yah.
117
00:05:15,464 --> 00:05:19,072
Get this. I just asked the
DJ what rem albums he has.
118
00:05:19,148 --> 00:05:23,085
He's got Monster, but not
Automatic For the People.
119
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,501
- Wow!
- I know.
120
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,289
It's like, what is this?
A mid-'90s party?
121
00:05:26,307 --> 00:05:28,177
No. It's an early '90s party.
122
00:05:28,222 --> 00:05:29,812
Okay, Larry.
Tell us how this looks.
123
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,922
Ben wants to do a synchronized
couple skate to Losing My Religion.
124
00:05:32,959 --> 00:05:33,935
Hit it!
125
00:05:38,859 --> 00:05:40,654
Leslie!
Leslie! Leslie!
126
00:05:40,730 --> 00:05:42,531
I'm sorry,
but we have a problem.
127
00:05:42,563 --> 00:05:44,351
His name is Jeremy Jamm.
128
00:05:44,375 --> 00:05:47,119
- Well, as noted in Article nine, Paragraph
two... - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
129
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,972
Jamm, I thought this
bill was tabled?
130
00:05:48,994 --> 00:05:52,199
Yes, and I called a special
session and un-tabled it.
131
00:05:52,216 --> 00:05:53,971
What's up with the roller skates?
132
00:05:53,982 --> 00:05:57,337
I was about to attend a roller skating
birthday party for my husband,
133
00:05:57,350 --> 00:05:59,969
- but this is more important.
- Yeah, I don't care. I'm a blades guy.
134
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,331
Point of order!
135
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,347
The councilwoman wishes
to speak on this issue.
136
00:06:03,365 --> 00:06:06,949
Will the councilwoman yield her
time so we can vote on this sucker?
137
00:06:06,968 --> 00:06:09,202
No, I will not yield.
138
00:06:09,534 --> 00:06:11,732
Nor will I yield for the
rest of the evening.
139
00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:13,016
A filibuster?
140
00:06:13,183 --> 00:06:15,134
Are you dookin' on
my chest right now?
141
00:06:15,562 --> 00:06:16,825
No! Gross!
142
00:06:16,836 --> 00:06:19,080
And yes, it's a filibuster.
Okay?
143
00:06:19,108 --> 00:06:20,952
I am not willing to
let you deprive me--
144
00:06:20,983 --> 00:06:23,339
She's filibustering
on roller skates?
145
00:06:23,357 --> 00:06:25,466
She's gonna be strapped
into those things for hours.
146
00:06:25,488 --> 00:06:27,060
I know this
is a dire situation,
147
00:06:27,078 --> 00:06:30,966
but I swear to God, this is like
a crazy sex fantasy for me.
148
00:06:39,777 --> 00:06:40,879
How goes it?
149
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:44,019
Pretty good, except I
suck at skee ball.
150
00:06:44,050 --> 00:06:47,333
Well, that's too bad, 'cause if you don't
win me that bear, you're dead to me.
151
00:06:47,377 --> 00:06:48,257
Understood.
152
00:06:48,285 --> 00:06:50,229
Hey, man, how many tickets
for that bear, again?
153
00:06:50,241 --> 00:06:53,510
- 40,000.
- 40,000? Oh, brother.
154
00:06:53,537 --> 00:06:55,568
All right, you're gonna be
my lookout for a second.
155
00:06:55,593 --> 00:06:56,918
All right.
156
00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:01,111
- Hey, is he allowed to do that?
- No! Get off the ramp, dude!
157
00:07:01,133 --> 00:07:03,267
Hey! You're supposed
to be my lookout.
158
00:07:03,291 --> 00:07:05,010
I thought it'd be funnier
to watch you get busted.
159
00:07:05,032 --> 00:07:07,266
Hey, you're a doctor. You
know snitches get stitches.
160
00:07:08,537 --> 00:07:10,533
I remember
the first time I voted.
161
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,094
I was in my bedroom,
and I was five.
162
00:07:13,185 --> 00:07:15,497
I voted for Mildred,
my stuffed pig,
163
00:07:15,563 --> 00:07:17,445
but my cat, pancakes, won.
164
00:07:17,469 --> 00:07:19,024
She had more funding.
165
00:07:19,051 --> 00:07:21,539
Politics, right?
What are you gonna do?
166
00:07:21,648 --> 00:07:24,221
How long have I been talking? Three hours?
No, eight minutes. Okay.
167
00:07:24,239 --> 00:07:25,927
Maybe you should
yield the floor.
168
00:07:25,963 --> 00:07:28,875
Milton doesn't have a lot
of time-- left on earth.
169
00:07:29,061 --> 00:07:32,079
- Hey, just kidding, bud.
- Will someone open my crackers?
170
00:07:32,106 --> 00:07:35,499
The session ends at 11:00 P.M.
She has to talk the whole time.
171
00:07:35,511 --> 00:07:39,241
She can't lean on anything for
support, and no one else can help her.
172
00:07:39,262 --> 00:07:41,153
Three strikes and she is done.
173
00:07:41,171 --> 00:07:44,794
This is literally the most exciting
thing that I've ever seen.
174
00:07:44,822 --> 00:07:46,666
I mean, think about it. Where
else on earth would you rather
175
00:07:46,687 --> 00:07:47,912
spend your birthday with Leslie?
176
00:07:47,939 --> 00:07:52,159
Well, maybe the birthday party
she's throwing for me right now.
177
00:07:52,184 --> 00:07:55,257
Everyone in Pawnee should
have the right to vote.
178
00:07:55,303 --> 00:07:59,422
Whoa! As I dissect this important
and profound statement,
179
00:07:59,448 --> 00:08:01,429
I'm just gonna take
these off for a second.
180
00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:03,708
Bam, strike one.
No sitting.
181
00:08:05,791 --> 00:08:07,366
Is the gong really necessary?
182
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,821
Yes, it is. I love Chinese crap.
183
00:08:09,851 --> 00:08:14,684
Lucy Liu, Nintendo, Gangnam Style,
sushi, et cetera, et cetera.
184
00:08:14,771 --> 00:08:16,763
Also, more importantly,
it's in the rules. No sitting.
185
00:08:16,781 --> 00:08:19,544
Okay, fine. Well, the strike is
worth it if I can take these off.
186
00:08:19,569 --> 00:08:20,782
Oh, man!
187
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:26,113
Oh, my God! I had this exact
bear when I was a kid!
188
00:08:26,490 --> 00:08:27,935
- Excuse me.
- Uh-huh.
189
00:08:27,954 --> 00:08:30,984
- How much does this bear cost?
- 40,000 tickets.
190
00:08:31,019 --> 00:08:33,184
Okay, well, let's
just assume that I'm an adult
191
00:08:33,209 --> 00:08:35,641
who doesn't have two weeks
to play arcade games.
192
00:08:35,676 --> 00:08:38,364
What about 50 bucks?
193
00:08:38,389 --> 00:08:40,050
Yeah.
Just don't tell my boss.
194
00:08:40,075 --> 00:08:42,441
- What are you doing, Morris?
- Nothing, Mr. Bonderman.
195
00:08:42,466 --> 00:08:44,941
- Tuck in your shirt. God!
- Sorry.
196
00:08:45,510 --> 00:08:47,796
Oh! You feeling it?
197
00:08:51,977 --> 00:08:53,745
Wow. You suck at this.
198
00:08:53,770 --> 00:08:58,287
Donna, please back up two paces so I
can physically destroy this machine.
199
00:08:58,306 --> 00:09:01,646
Can you chill a little, man?
It's not real hunting.
200
00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:03,202
It's just a game.
201
00:09:03,311 --> 00:09:04,544
That you happen to suck at.
202
00:09:04,568 --> 00:09:07,042
You know what?
That's a good point.
203
00:09:07,112 --> 00:09:08,236
What?
That you suck at this?
204
00:09:08,259 --> 00:09:10,247
That it's not re hunting.
205
00:09:10,328 --> 00:09:11,725
Come with me.
206
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:15,912
I don't want you to
go back to London.
207
00:09:15,942 --> 00:09:18,648
Just remember, every time
you look up at the moon,
208
00:09:18,666 --> 00:09:21,315
I, too, will be
looking at a moon.
209
00:09:21,338 --> 00:09:23,782
Not the same moon, obviously.
That's impossible.
210
00:09:23,811 --> 00:09:26,247
See you on stupid Skype.
211
00:09:29,297 --> 00:09:30,741
I'm proud of Andy.
212
00:09:30,764 --> 00:09:34,027
This is the first time he's
really gone out on a limb.
213
00:09:34,050 --> 00:09:37,039
I knew if he found something
that he actually liked doing,
214
00:09:37,051 --> 00:09:38,909
he'd be happy, so I'm--
215
00:09:41,893 --> 00:09:43,900
What the hell?
Wha--
216
00:09:44,942 --> 00:09:47,542
Hey! Perkins! What are
you doing with my bear?
217
00:09:47,567 --> 00:09:50,047
I've been playing skee ball for, like,
two hours trying to win that for Nadia.
218
00:09:50,059 --> 00:09:51,841
I just bought it for 50 bucks.
219
00:09:51,865 --> 00:09:54,646
When I was a kid, I taught myself
how to make out on this bear,
220
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,666
pretended it was cockroach
from The Cosby Show.
221
00:09:56,695 --> 00:10:00,187
Hey, what's going on here?
Why does blossom have my bear?
222
00:10:00,219 --> 00:10:03,039
I bought it for myself,
but apparently,
223
00:10:03,057 --> 00:10:04,664
he was trying to win it
for you, so I'm sorry.
224
00:10:04,682 --> 00:10:07,997
I still got some tickets, though. I could
get you, uh, a ninja turtle balloon
225
00:10:08,015 --> 00:10:10,201
or Cliffhanger on VHS.
226
00:10:10,228 --> 00:10:14,278
Oh, that's so sweet, but you're
basically offering me garbage.
227
00:10:14,296 --> 00:10:15,732
Let's just skate.
228
00:10:16,895 --> 00:10:20,414
That bear was the only thing she was
gonna have to remember me by in Rwanda.
229
00:10:20,433 --> 00:10:22,934
And if I know anything
about Rwanda, and I don't,
230
00:10:22,961 --> 00:10:25,893
I bet it's full of rich guys
who'll buy her whatever she wants.
231
00:10:30,903 --> 00:10:33,898
Hunting.
No quarters required.
232
00:10:35,779 --> 00:10:36,985
Hang on.
233
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,020
Do you have a license
to hunt at night?
234
00:10:39,051 --> 00:10:41,037
'Cause you need a license.
235
00:10:48,917 --> 00:10:51,025
I thought you were serious.
236
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:53,525
Come on now. You know
I don't give a fuck.
237
00:10:54,318 --> 00:10:56,005
As Ronald Reagan would say,
238
00:10:56,030 --> 00:11:00,617
"Well, mommy, I believe
voting rights are important."
239
00:11:00,636 --> 00:11:02,636
Does anyone else
think it's hot in here?
240
00:11:02,697 --> 00:11:03,835
These overalls
are really starchy.
241
00:11:03,847 --> 00:11:06,333
Yeah, maybe that's 'cause
I turned up the heat to 90,
242
00:11:06,345 --> 00:11:09,713
and, uh, oh, the knob
broke off in my hand.
243
00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:11,692
Oops.
244
00:11:11,736 --> 00:11:13,455
Well, speaking of heat,
245
00:11:13,482 --> 00:11:16,103
we should discuss
America's white-hot passion
246
00:11:16,122 --> 00:11:18,928
for voting rights and the men and
women who help protect them,
247
00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:23,155
like the local city councilwoman who is
starving and thinking about her husband's
248
00:11:23,174 --> 00:11:26,086
Reservoir Dog- themed birthday cake
and wanting to eat it really badly.
249
00:11:26,111 --> 00:11:27,874
Oh, this is not a good sign.
250
00:11:27,901 --> 00:11:29,912
Once she starts thinking
about birthday cake,
251
00:11:29,932 --> 00:11:33,391
she's basically useless until
she eats birthday cake.
252
00:11:33,465 --> 00:11:35,546
Democracy is not unlike a cake.
253
00:11:35,577 --> 00:11:38,349
It's layered, delicious,
chocolate, and I want some.
254
00:11:38,379 --> 00:11:41,084
Okay, she's fading. Ben, we
need to find a way to smuggle
255
00:11:41,109 --> 00:11:43,685
some mineral oil drops
onto her tongue.
256
00:11:44,042 --> 00:11:45,960
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Excuse me.
257
00:11:45,983 --> 00:11:47,490
What the hell
are you people doing here?
258
00:11:47,502 --> 00:11:49,840
We represent the citizens
of former Eagleton.
259
00:11:49,858 --> 00:11:53,460
We're here to support Leslie Knope
for preserving our voting rights.
260
00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:54,696
Thank you!
261
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,076
You are all warriors
of democracy.
262
00:11:57,431 --> 00:12:01,017
You know, it was the first mayor
of Pawnee, in 1817,
263
00:12:01,038 --> 00:12:03,931
who said, "All we have
is the right to vote
264
00:12:04,103 --> 00:12:06,172
and the right to kill Indians
without consequence."
265
00:12:06,211 --> 00:12:09,849
And I believe that half of that
statement is still true today.
266
00:12:12,526 --> 00:12:13,545
All right!
267
00:12:13,577 --> 00:12:15,106
Second wind!
268
00:12:17,715 --> 00:12:19,448
Andy, I know you're in there.
269
00:12:20,021 --> 00:12:21,516
Andy, come on.
270
00:12:25,063 --> 00:12:26,554
Oh, hey.
271
00:12:26,916 --> 00:12:28,473
I was just--
272
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:31,682
just here in this dumpster
'cause I jumped in.
273
00:12:31,701 --> 00:12:33,531
Get out!
We need to talk.
274
00:12:34,027 --> 00:12:35,447
About what?
275
00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:40,689
Fresh air, real weapons,
an honest kill.
276
00:12:41,419 --> 00:12:44,589
There is no substitute
for the real thing.
277
00:12:47,327 --> 00:12:49,246
You want to go back and play
that video game, don't you?
278
00:12:49,275 --> 00:12:51,361
Yes! Damn it!
279
00:12:52,866 --> 00:12:57,894
It is so inspiring to see Eagletonians
putting aside their prejudices.
280
00:12:57,928 --> 00:13:02,608
With support like this, Leslie Knope may
stand a fighting chance on recall day.
281
00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:04,872
- Permission to hug you.
- Granted.
282
00:13:05,924 --> 00:13:09,557
I should mention, though, that
we're not voting to keep Leslie.
283
00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:10,577
What?
284
00:13:10,593 --> 00:13:14,671
We want someone from Eagleton to represent
our interests on the new city council.
285
00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:17,011
Sir, I formally revoke our hug.
286
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,861
Well, you can't.
It happened.
287
00:13:18,884 --> 00:13:22,256
We stand on the side
of Rosa Parks,
288
00:13:22,283 --> 00:13:24,741
and Gandhi, and Team Aniston.
289
00:13:24,764 --> 00:13:31,621
One small vote for Pawnee is one
giant leap of voting for mankind.
290
00:13:32,553 --> 00:13:33,403
Hey!
291
00:13:33,422 --> 00:13:35,310
Hey, you're not allowed to
receive help from the crowd.
292
00:13:35,342 --> 00:13:37,173
That's strike two.
293
00:13:38,059 --> 00:13:41,381
Hey, man, leave my gong alone.
The reverb is the best part.
294
00:13:41,677 --> 00:13:45,208
If I save your right to vote, you're
gonna vote for someone from Eagleton?
295
00:13:47,078 --> 00:13:49,572
Eagleton! Eagleton!
296
00:13:50,524 --> 00:13:52,895
- Hey, Knope! Wrap it up!
- I'm not gonna yield.
297
00:13:52,927 --> 00:13:55,115
I just--I need some time to think.
298
00:13:55,383 --> 00:13:58,020
And because I must keep talking,
I'm gonna think out loud.
299
00:13:58,048 --> 00:14:01,569
Okay, if Eagletonians
vote for someone else,
300
00:14:01,617 --> 00:14:05,467
then it would be in my best
interest to stop, right?
301
00:14:05,802 --> 00:14:06,776
So they can't vote.
302
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:08,483
Uh, da-doy.
303
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:11,330
- Yield.
- Or I keep going,
304
00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:14,805
because the right to vote is
fundamental in any democracy,
305
00:14:14,824 --> 00:14:16,774
and this is bigger
than me or anyone.
306
00:14:16,805 --> 00:14:18,461
I don't care if I lose.
307
00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:21,078
No one prevents people
in my town from voting.
308
00:14:21,140 --> 00:14:22,374
Not on my watch.
309
00:14:22,971 --> 00:14:24,177
The filibuster is on!
310
00:14:24,204 --> 00:14:25,697
Yeah!
311
00:14:28,021 --> 00:14:29,521
I can't go back to London.
312
00:14:29,567 --> 00:14:32,023
I'm totally in over my
head on this project.
313
00:14:32,036 --> 00:14:33,788
Every day, someone
comes up to me and says,
314
00:14:33,816 --> 00:14:35,754
"I need your approval
on this, Mr. Dwyer."
315
00:14:35,770 --> 00:14:37,410
"I need your
signature, Mr. Dwyer."
316
00:14:37,434 --> 00:14:38,773
"That's not a
toilet, Mr. Dwyer."
317
00:14:38,798 --> 00:14:41,073
But you said everything
was going awesome.
318
00:14:41,091 --> 00:14:44,735
- You said you were like Chuck Norris.
- I am, but I'm like Chuck Norris now--
319
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:49,262
some old guy with a beard who used to be
good at karate but became a dumb has-been
320
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:53,166
and is scared and confused
about his big London job.
321
00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:56,290
- Okay. - The parallels between
he and I are very eerie.
322
00:14:56,315 --> 00:14:58,898
I'm gonna tell you a secret
about everyone else's job.
323
00:14:58,943 --> 00:14:59,928
Okay.
324
00:14:59,952 --> 00:15:02,071
No one knows what they're doing.
325
00:15:02,165 --> 00:15:04,684
I don't know how to run an
animal control department.
326
00:15:04,712 --> 00:15:08,250
Half the documents I get I put right into
the shredder because they're so boring.
327
00:15:08,277 --> 00:15:10,328
But you seem like you do
know what you're doing.
328
00:15:10,356 --> 00:15:12,113
Yeah, I seem like it.
329
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:15,822
Deep down, everyone is just faking
it until they figure it out.
330
00:15:17,263 --> 00:15:20,965
And you will too, because you are
awesome and everyone else sucks.
331
00:15:23,036 --> 00:15:26,347
- 30 minutes to go.
- Oh, God, it's so hot.
332
00:15:26,661 --> 00:15:28,903
Almost as hot as the flames
333
00:15:28,937 --> 00:15:32,650
that Eagleton would have gone
down in if I had not saved them.
334
00:15:37,363 --> 00:15:39,233
Mm, mm, mm.
335
00:15:39,402 --> 00:15:45,304
- That's... - How I know you would
love an ice-cold frozen marg.
336
00:15:45,413 --> 00:15:47,738
All I want
is the promise of democracy.
337
00:15:47,824 --> 00:15:48,987
Sure about that?
338
00:15:49,012 --> 00:15:51,030
- I want that marg.
- I know you do.
339
00:15:51,049 --> 00:15:52,976
- I want that Margarita.
- Oh, it's gonna be so good.
340
00:15:53,001 --> 00:15:55,088
So cold.
It's so cold.
341
00:15:55,116 --> 00:15:57,908
- I want to drink it.
- Make that heat go away!
342
00:15:58,101 --> 00:15:59,616
Come on, get!
343
00:16:00,757 --> 00:16:02,274
Come on, girl.
Get!
344
00:16:02,321 --> 00:16:04,205
Give me that Margarita!
345
00:16:04,813 --> 00:16:06,088
No!
346
00:16:06,482 --> 00:16:07,565
I want votes.
347
00:16:11,506 --> 00:16:14,884
Excuse me, worker, bring me a
bucket of beers and four hot dogs.
348
00:16:14,902 --> 00:16:15,867
Please, and thank you.
349
00:16:15,885 --> 00:16:18,025
Why are you covered in blood?
350
00:16:18,038 --> 00:16:19,956
Don't worry.
It's not human.
351
00:16:20,507 --> 00:16:24,291
I hope you've made peace with
your God, small electronic deer.
352
00:16:25,325 --> 00:16:26,719
Kill it.
353
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,234
Ann, I need that bear.
354
00:16:28,246 --> 00:16:31,421
I got to give Nadia something awesome so
she'll remember me when she's in Africa.
355
00:16:31,455 --> 00:16:35,227
Tom, bear or no bear,
she clearly likes you.
356
00:16:35,658 --> 00:16:39,577
Actually, how do you even get girls
like her-- or me-- to go out with you?
357
00:16:39,588 --> 00:16:42,709
Scientists say the emotions of love and
hate are very close to each other.
358
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:44,138
That's what I tell women.
359
00:16:44,373 --> 00:16:46,504
The point is, she's
leaving in two days.
360
00:16:46,535 --> 00:16:47,927
You want her to remember you?
361
00:16:47,952 --> 00:16:50,849
Go spend time with her and do
something memorable, dummy!
362
00:16:50,873 --> 00:16:52,159
Thanks, Ann.
363
00:16:52,373 --> 00:16:55,362
I know conversations like this are hard for
you 'cause you still have feelings for me,
364
00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:57,237
but you'll land on
your feet, kid.
365
00:16:57,269 --> 00:16:59,544
- Run or I punch you.
- No punchies!
366
00:17:02,171 --> 00:17:04,281
Okay, bye for real this time.
367
00:17:06,853 --> 00:17:08,197
Wait, wait, wait.
368
00:17:08,230 --> 00:17:11,512
I made you five bologna sandwiches in case
you get hungry on the way to the airport.
369
00:17:11,539 --> 00:17:14,418
- Did you--
- Yes, I used cookies instead of bread.
370
00:17:14,462 --> 00:17:16,675
You think of everything.
I love you.
371
00:17:16,711 --> 00:17:18,126
Love you too.
372
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:25,989
Are you kidding me?
373
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:29,115
- Andy!
- Ha! Ha! Found it!
374
00:17:29,142 --> 00:17:31,939
I got--I left my wallet
in here earlier, I guess.
375
00:17:32,023 --> 00:17:33,924
Whoo! All good now.
376
00:17:34,517 --> 00:17:35,578
Ooh, look!
Noodles!
377
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:38,191
No, no, no, babe. Babe,
don't touch those.
378
00:17:38,407 --> 00:17:42,224
I've read the entire charter. There's no
other way to get her a bathroom break...
379
00:17:42,939 --> 00:17:47,133
unless we bring the
bathroom to her--
380
00:17:47,164 --> 00:17:48,182
that's nothing.
381
00:17:48,211 --> 00:17:49,492
I mean,
she's not gonna make it.
382
00:17:49,506 --> 00:17:51,877
Look at her, she's dancing
around like she's a character
383
00:17:51,892 --> 00:17:53,909
in one of those
Peanuts cartoons.
384
00:17:54,004 --> 00:17:56,909
Okay, in these last few minutes,
385
00:17:56,931 --> 00:18:01,575
I would like to talk about
the voting rights act of 1968
386
00:18:01,695 --> 00:18:04,904
while clenching every
muscle in my body.
387
00:18:04,927 --> 00:18:06,061
Sound good?
388
00:18:06,232 --> 00:18:07,901
Hey, Knope, how you
feeling over there?
389
00:18:07,922 --> 00:18:10,149
You go pee-pee?
Pee-pee times?
390
00:18:10,164 --> 00:18:12,064
- Make wee-wee?
- Ten more seconds.
391
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:15,787
Four, three, two, one!
392
00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:19,162
This session is adjourned.
393
00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:21,753
All pending matters are tabled.
394
00:18:23,122 --> 00:18:24,322
Yes!
395
00:18:25,526 --> 00:18:26,371
You were amazing.
396
00:18:26,402 --> 00:18:28,277
I love you, but move! I have
to go to the whiz palace.
397
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:29,205
Oh, wait!
398
00:18:29,223 --> 00:18:30,778
Eagleton! Eagleton!
399
00:18:30,801 --> 00:18:34,100
Oh!
My beautiful curls!
400
00:18:34,972 --> 00:18:37,920
She didn't have time to hug
me, but she could do that?
401
00:18:39,329 --> 00:18:42,522
Hey, Ann, can I talk to you
for a second? About Tom?
402
00:18:42,553 --> 00:18:43,638
Sure.
403
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:46,565
- You guys look like you're having fun.
- Yeah, no, I really like him.
404
00:18:46,597 --> 00:18:49,335
I just wanted to say that
I think you're really cool,
405
00:18:49,366 --> 00:18:52,651
and the fact that Tom dated you makes
me think he's a really good guy.
406
00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:54,332
That's so sweet.
407
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:57,060
Oh, okay.
408
00:18:57,852 --> 00:19:00,233
- Wha--what are you-- What the hell?
- Now!
409
00:19:00,263 --> 00:19:02,469
Sorry, Ann, this is on you.
You told us to make a memory.
410
00:19:02,481 --> 00:19:04,389
- There's your money back.
- Let go!
411
00:19:04,504 --> 00:19:05,971
Suck it!
412
00:19:07,670 --> 00:19:09,489
This is $8!
413
00:19:09,546 --> 00:19:11,790
- Man, that was so much fun.
- Yeah.
414
00:19:11,815 --> 00:19:15,184
Together, we truly did steal a
toy from your pregnant friend.
415
00:19:15,457 --> 00:19:17,701
- Hey, can I ask you something?
- Mm-hmm.
416
00:19:17,733 --> 00:19:21,127
I know we just met, like,
two weeks ago and whatever,
417
00:19:21,145 --> 00:19:23,808
but is there any chance maybe,
418
00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:26,793
- when you get back, we can maybe--
- Ugh. Clingy.
419
00:19:27,181 --> 00:19:29,831
Oh, no. Sorry.
No, no, no, no.
420
00:19:29,853 --> 00:19:31,392
I'm kidding.
421
00:19:32,018 --> 00:19:33,519
Of course I'll call you
when I come back.
422
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,285
- Really?
- Yeah.
423
00:19:36,264 --> 00:19:37,880
So long, suckers!
424
00:19:38,006 --> 00:19:40,208
- Hey! Quick!
- What?
425
00:19:43,898 --> 00:19:44,592
Ooh!
426
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,838
- Come on, come on, come on, come on!
- Now that's what I call shooting.
427
00:19:46,846 --> 00:19:48,546
- Come on!
- That's a new record!
428
00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:49,997
Hey!
Look at that!
429
00:19:50,016 --> 00:19:52,278
You finally made
it in the top 10.
430
00:19:52,363 --> 00:19:54,019
Now you can
enter your initials.
431
00:19:54,164 --> 00:19:55,795
My initials are private.
432
00:19:55,874 --> 00:19:58,067
Then just put in
any three letters.
433
00:20:04,349 --> 00:20:05,983
Ass.
434
00:20:09,849 --> 00:20:11,166
Oh, my God!
That was epic!
435
00:20:11,209 --> 00:20:14,105
I was peeing so freakin' hard,
it was like a jacuzzi jet or--
436
00:20:14,117 --> 00:20:16,361
- Hi, Leslie.
- Hey! Ingrid!
437
00:20:16,792 --> 00:20:18,415
I wasn't talking about
the velocity of my pee
438
00:20:18,433 --> 00:20:21,128
because you are a very
smart and classy lady.
439
00:20:21,146 --> 00:20:24,265
Ben, you remember Ingrid de
Forest from the former Eagleton.
440
00:20:24,292 --> 00:20:28,684
Yes, she was just telling me she's been
nominated to run against you in the recall.
441
00:20:29,488 --> 00:20:31,288
Wow.
Buzz kill.
442
00:20:31,309 --> 00:20:33,318
I know you must hate me
right now, Leslie,
443
00:20:33,336 --> 00:20:34,756
and that's justified,
444
00:20:34,779 --> 00:20:37,971
but I need to thank you for
what you just did in there.
445
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,622
Not the forceful urination.
The filibuster.
446
00:20:40,691 --> 00:20:41,511
Right, yeah.
447
00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:44,828
It was incredibly courageous,
and it was selfless.
448
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,394
And if I do win,
449
00:20:46,424 --> 00:20:48,574
I'm gonna have very big
roller skates to fill.
450
00:20:48,624 --> 00:20:52,160
Could I take you out for
a celebratory plate of--
451
00:20:52,179 --> 00:20:53,644
I think you call them waffles?
452
00:20:53,663 --> 00:20:55,974
Wow, that is the best offer
you could ever make,
453
00:20:56,002 --> 00:20:58,912
but I had to miss my husband's
birthday party for this,
454
00:20:58,930 --> 00:21:01,684
so I think I'll be spending
the evening with him.
455
00:21:01,712 --> 00:21:03,847
- A rain check, maybe.
- Please.
456
00:21:05,052 --> 00:21:07,971
I'm sorry your birthday
party got all screwed up.
457
00:21:08,381 --> 00:21:10,095
Maybe I should put those
roller skates back on.
458
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:12,285
Well, you must be exhausted. We
don't have to go to the party.
459
00:21:12,306 --> 00:21:14,274
Oh, we're not going
to the party.
460
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:15,676
We're going home.
461
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:18,971
Then why would you need to
put on roller... skates?
462
00:21:19,012 --> 00:21:21,237
Oh, yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
463
00:21:21,283 --> 00:21:24,781
We're just-- we're
just--skates...
464
00:21:24,952 --> 00:21:29,952
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