Hello, I am Leslie Knope,
and I am here to interview
for the Deputy
Parks Director job.
Leslie, this is ridiculous.
It's your job. Take it.
Well, I should
have to interview
just like everyone else.
Hmm.
Now, if you'll see
on my resume,
I held the position
of Deputy Director of
Parks and Recreation
for almost ten years.
I know. I was your boss.
I also walked you down
the aisle at your wedding.
Take the job and
leave me alone.
Come on, Ron.
Just interview me!
No special treatment.
Okay. Fine.
What do you believe
should be the ultimate
goal of this department?
The ancient Greek version of
the park was the agora,
a gathering place where
people from all
walks of life...
What are you writing?
Is it good?
What do you think
is the best use
of our yearly budget?
It's right there in the name,
maintaining our
beautiful parks,
and providing healthy,
outdoor recreation.
I'm sorry, Miss Knope,
the correct answer is,
"Give it all back
to the taxpayers."
It seems you and I
have fundamentally
different philosophies.
Frankly, it's a miracle
we ever worked
together without
killing each other.
Good day.
Ha, ha! Okay.
No more goofing around.
Just tell me
I have the job.
I have a lot of other
people to meet with.
I'll be in touch.
Ron! Come on. It's me!
Give me special treatment.
Okay! First morning
meeting back in the
old conference room.
What's this?
Oh, we chose
everyone's spirit dogs.
That one's you!
You guys think
I'm a border collie?
I'm so obviously
a cocker spaniel.
The Spirit Dog
Committee ruled on
that weeks ago.
There is no appeals process.
No.
Totally.
I'm in on the joke.
I get it.
But maybe we should
stop talking about
your insane dog
choices and get to working.
Classic border collie.
Has to control everything.
Totally.
First on the agenda,
I'm gonna bring
my lemonade stand idea
to the Small
Business Coalition,
and a little birdie told me
it's already in the bag.
Can I get a what what?
What?
Thank you!
No. What idea?
The fellow
who runs the
"Hot Stew"
stand in
Lafayette Park
is retiring
so Pawnee's new
Business Liaison, Tom,
went out and got
the Indiana Brothers
Juice Company
to rent it out
as a lemonade stand.
Wow.
Plus, I downloaded
this dope app
that pops champagne whenever
I say something awesome.
Tom, that's great!
I know. And it was
only nine bucks!
No, I mean the lemonade...
Never mind.
Well, I will start doing
an environmental impact study,
and Ron, you can do
some demographic research.
Don't sweat it, Lez-Kno.
Tommy's taken care
of every last detail.
Nothing I can do to help?
Okay.
Oh.
I could straighten this
for ya. There we go.
Oh, Larry! We've been taking
pictures all over City Hall
to show our unborn baby
where we met. Would you mind?
Oh, my gosh.
I would be honored.
Say, when are you crazy
kids going to get hitched?
You know, actually, we haven't
discussed it in a while.
You know, it's kind of
taken a back seat.
Well, you know,
to each his own,
but you guys really
seem like you're in love.
And when I see
a couple who look
at each other the way you do,
I don't know,
it just makes me think that
maybe this crazy
world is gonna be okay.
That literally
went on forever.
I thought you were never going
to stop talking.
But now that you have...
Ann Perkins,
will you marry me?
Wow.
Cracker dust.
I mean, yes.
Of course.
Let's do it.
Can I have a sip of
your water, please?
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm a bit of a germaphobe.
Oh, no, no.
Totally understand.
I'll just...
Ann Perkins...
I'm gonna cough it out.
I would like to spend
the rest of my life with you.
I love you.
I love you, too.
No part of this is
how I pictured it.
I thought
another cracker might
push it through
but I was wrong.
Let's do this right.
Yeah.
Let's go get
an engagement ring!
Yes.
That was a beautiful moment.
Hello, friends!
You guys enjoying
that cheese?
It's unpasteurized.
Yuck, what's that mean?
"Unpasteurized"?
I don't care.
Technically it's
illegal in this country.
I smuggled it
back from Paris!
Anyway,
I want you guys to think
of my office as a clubhouse.
Total open-door policy.
I want to be
your friend as
well as your boss.
What the hell is
wrong with you?
Are you in a cult? Can I join?
Let's sacrifice Larry.
Oh, April.
It's my first day
as City Manager.
So I'm holding
open office hours
to break the ice.
Now, Chris was always
the nice guy that
made everyone happy,
while I brought
down the hammer.
But now that he's gone,
I kind of have to do both.
Everyone is the best.
We're cutting vacation time.
Let's eat vitamins.
This is exhausting.
Listen, real quick,
I have some super
cool new rules...
Oh, nice.
That are also
super mandatory.
Uh, we can't use
Facebook anymore?
Are you serious?
That's right.
Massive time waster.
Kills productivity.
Hey, Sanitation! Listen.
Let's talk health insurance.
Your dependents
don't have it anymore.
Have some illegal cheese!
"No cell phone usage
on City Hall property?"
That's not fair. My cell phone
is how I avoid doing work.
"Bathroom breaks should be
limited to five minutes?"
I can't shower
in five minutes.
See, he's acting
all loosey-goosey,
but that little
dude's wound so tight
he's gonna pop.
Hey, Sanitation!
Sanitation in
the house tonight!
Oh, what happened to
our spirit dogs?
I came up with
a way better game. Behold!
Your Spirit Kangaroo!
Tom, you are a Blue Flyer.
So am I. So are you and Donna.
And look at Ron.
Look at Ron.
I mean,
doesn't Ron look exactly
like a Blue Flyer?
There aren't
that many different
types of kangaroos.
Either way,
helluva game, right guys?
Presentations are upon us.
So, Tom, which step are you at
in the Leslie Knope
Project Preparedness
Super System?
Yeah, once you got
on the City Council,
we kind of stopped doing that.
What? Tom. No.
You cannot drop
the Leslie Knope
Project Preparedness
Super System.
It was developed
over thousands
of government
presentations that I gave
over the past ten years.
It is my very soul.
Well, I have my own system.
Step one,
chill out a bit. Step two,
get up there and rip it.
That's your plan?
To "rip it"?
Leslie, this
is Tom's project.
Perhaps you should
let him do things his way.
Sure. Yeah. You should
probably just "rip it."
I think that's
better than going
with a tried-and-true
80-step system
that led to, and I quote,
"The most thorough
and dare we say,
"at times,
over-prepared presentation
that we've ever seen."
And, yeah, that quote
came from the
Indiana Blue Ribbon Panel
on Irrigation and Drainage.
Fine. I'll go back
to your system.
You're the
big dog around here.
Big kangaroo.
And, thank you.
Well, yeah,
I was gone for a while,
and things are a little
different around here,
but this is still my house.
I invented this
Parks game, son!
Oh!
Damn it! When did
they put a lamp here?
Hey! The boys in blue!
What can I do for you... For?
We got a tip about
some food entering
the country illegally.
No. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
It's just cheese, guys.
Uh, I got it in France.
Okay. Did you declare it
on your customs
form when you
re-entered the country?
We're gonna need you
to come down to the station.
I'm sure that's
not necessary,
let's just...
This is really good cheese.
You should try some.
Are you trying to bribe us?
No! Oh, God. I surrender.
Just step forward.
Thank you.
Okay. Okay.
This is so exciting.
Hi, folks. When's the big day?
I assume this
is a, you know...
Oh, no,
this isn't a shotgun wedding.
Although, yes,
she is pregnant,
and yes,
we did just decide
to get married today.
We haven't told our families
or chosen a venue.
But it's not
a shotgun wedding.
We've been
planning ours
for months.
You wouldn't believe
how much there is to do.
Invitations, table settings,
color scheme, dance lessons.
And that's just for
the rehearsal dinner.
Seriously, that's just
for the rehearsal dinner.
That sounds elaborate!
All we did was punch
"jewelry store"
into our car GPS.
You remember that
romantic moment, Chris?
I was getting gas.
No, I don't remember it.
Hey, Tom.
I don't mean to bug you
or anything,
but I notice that
my Super System
binder is closed.
Just checking
that you had a chance
to re-familiarize yourself?
Entirely?
Yeah, flipped through it.
Looks good.
Huh, you're lying.
I placed a single strand
of hair along the edge,
and that secret
strand is unbroken!
Whose hair is that?
It's brown.
Look. It seems like you
don't even care about
your presentation.
Au contraire!
I'm working on it right now!
And what's the most important
part of a presentation?
Content.
The presentation.
Okay. Tom,
you need hard data.
You need facts
to make your case.
And then you need
two funny quotes
and an inspirational one.
You know, a classic...
Ha, ha, hmm.
Look, I think you
need to take a page
outta my system,
and chill out a bit.
Okay? I got this.
Okay. Fine. I trust you.
But I think you're gonna
fail and you're
a ticking time bomb.
What's that?
Nothing! Good luck!
This is an elk hair.
Yes. It's the most effective
hair for binder security!
You know that, Ron.
If Tom gives
that presentation,
it is going to be
a total disaster
for both him
and the department.
I cannot sit idly by
and watch this
terrible thing happen.
I mean, I can barely
sit idly by and watch
good things happen.
We've got a couple
of Customs agents
coming down from the border
and they are not happy.
I can't believe this.
I never break the law.
I've never even jaywalked.
Never?
I mean, I...
Everyone does it sometimes.
I'll just add
that to the charges.
Well, well, well.
We got a hit on your prints.
It seems that you're wanted
for tax fraud in Colorado.
What?
I've never even
been to Colorado!
I mean, I had
a layover in Denver once.
Man, you can't keep your
story straight, can you?
Come on!
Here come
the Customs guys now.
Fellas, he's all yours!
Kaboom!
Ya pranked!
You gotta see
the stupid look
on your face!
Check this out.
I took a picture!
Classic!
You seemed a little uptight.
Thought we'd have some fun
with our new boss.
Wow. You got me. Good one!
Making me think I was gonna,
like, die in federal prison.
That's super funny.
You scamps!
Now, Stu, I know that you're
thinking about retiring.
And I am here to ask you
to reconsider.
What do you say?
Keep that
Lafayette Park
stand open,
pumping out the stew,
like you do.
I don't know.
I'm looking forward
to spending time with my wife,
working on some new hobbies.
I was thinking about
getting into bisques!
Stu, you have been a staple
in the Parks Department
system for years!
Retirement is for the birds.
You're gonna be so bored.
I'm gonna say this
because you need to hear it.
Screw bisque!
That makes a lot of sense.
Yeah.
What now? What do I do?
Well, we're gonna
need to convince
the Business Council
to keep you around,
but that's not for
you to worry about.
I'll take care of it.
You just keep on
stewin' what ya stew!
Thanks, Leslie.
This calls for a toast.
Susan? Stew flutes, please.
Ah.
To stew!
Mmm! Oh, my God,
that's very hot!
Mmm-hmm.
Congratulations,
this is a beauty.
If you'd like,
I could engrave the date
on the inside of the band.
That might be tough
'cause we actually
haven't discussed it yet.
We could engrave 2014?
Or, TBD?
Hang on. If neither of us has
ever thought about this stuff,
then maybe there's a reason.
When you think
about it, we are already
more married than
most married people.
Right? I mean we're
having a child together,
we're moving to a new city.
You let me pee
with the door open
so I could watch
the end of Grey's Anatomy.
That was
a fantastic season finale,
and a show that is,
literally,
a never-ending
roller coaster of emotion.
I mean, why spend
thousands of dollars
just to reaffirm
what we already know?
Which is that we
love each other.
That is so beautiful.
Theodore? We would
like to return that ring
and get a refund, please.
Maybe we should
talk this over, too.
Oh, come on.
Think what we could do
if we didn't buy this ring.
I mean, this could go
towards buying a house.
You have a lovely store.
Boss.
Hey.
I was just printing out
my Minesweeper high score,
and I noticed this memo.
You're punishing us?
For the prank?
No. No, no, no, no, no.
It's just like
a warning memo, like,
"Hey, all in good fun,
but I'm your boss,
"and if you do it again,
you're suspended."
That kind of thing.
Listen, I know that you're
the governor or whatever,
and I'm just
government junior.
What?
I feel like you're blowing it.
If you want
people to like you,
you have to play along.
Don't punish Donna and April.
Prank them back.
I guess I could stand
to loosen up a little.
But I don't know
how to pull a prank.
Dude! Okay.
Well, I could help you.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I once did
the best prank of all time.
I dumped all my boss's
action figures
into a fish tank.
Yeah, that was me.
And I didn't really like it.
Classic.
Great news, guys!
I just saved your bacon.
Impossible. You don't
even know where it is.
I know you were
excited to get in front
of the committee and "rip it,"
but in the spirit of teamwork,
I unilaterally
decided to bring
Stu out of retirement.
So, pressure's off!
What? I spent
a lot of time on this.
Doing what?
Putting mousse
in your hair?
It's a gel-based serum!
Second of all,
who uses mousse still?
Oh, God! Leslie, let's put
our differences aside
for a second...
Friend to friend,
do you still use mousse?
No! I use the juicy
based thing.
Whatever you do.
The point is, you weren't
ready for this, Tom.
Stu's sales are flat.
Lemonade is the future.
I'm still doing
my presentation.
I'm still doing
my Stu presentation.
And we'll see which
one the committee likes.
Fine.
Fine!
Yeah. I didn't think so.
On the other hand,
there are some benefits
to being married.
Taxes, health insurance...
And, I don't have
to feel weird
when hotel employees
call me Mr. Perkins.
Yeah, that makes
me feel weird, too.
Maybe we should.
I don't know anymore.
"Maybe we should,
I don't know anymore."
Ann, that is
a beautiful sentiment.
Okay, you're all set.
Credit card's
been fully refunded.
Perfect timing! We are
going to buy this ring.
Charge it!
Ann Perkins,
will you marry me?
I don't know!
Me either!
Maybe let's not?
Yeah I think maybe not!
Okay, the ring's yours again.
Hello?
Actually,
we don't want the ring.
Unbelievable.
Leslie, I'm the
last person to want
to deprive
the world of more stew,
but are you sure
you want to do this?
Look, I love Tom,
but you and I both know
that he's not
ready to step up.
Don't you remember
his last presentation
on topsoil?
The botched laser show?
Larry still can't see purple.
That was Larry's fault.
He picked up the laser
and stared right into it.
I know, but still...
Tom is all flash,
and no substance.
That's the old Tom.
You've been gone
for a while, Leslie.
Tom has changed.
He ran a business,
sold it for a profit.
He's also been
working here
for six years,
and he's learned
a lot from you.
At some point,
you're gonna have
to trust him to do his job.
You guys.
You guys. Be cool.
What's going on?
I kind of convinced
Ben to prank you guys,
and it got
a little out of hand.
I probably should have said
"no" to some of his ideas,
but he's on his
way here right now.
Here he is. Just, be cool.
Hey, guys, what's up?
Um, oh, I just remembered,
can I show you something
out to the front area?
And leave your cell phones,
because of no reason.
Just leave anything
that can't get wet, actually.
Like you would normally.
Okay. Here we go to
the parking lot now.
Wow, this is really sad.
Yup, follow to me guys!
Just go to the parking lot
for normal government reasons.
Sorry,
I can't go through with this.
I was gonna pull a prank.
No!
Yeah.
I hired these guys
in ski masks to
"kidnap" us,
and I was gonna
pretend to be a hero,
and they were gonna shoot me,
and then drive
the van into the river,
and that's when
the divers would go in,
pull you guys out
of the water and I would be
standing on the shore, like,
"Hey, get pranked much?"
What the?
I even got these squibs
from a special effects guy.
And I was gonna
say this code word.
And that's when
I would push this button.
No, no, no, no, no!
My God!
You got blood all over me.
Thank you.
I mean it.
Ben, that was amazing.
Really?
Best prank ever.
I'm sorry, buddy,
Daddy can't get
home to tuck you in.
Oh, how old is your son?
Just pick a thing!
Honey, look at this.
This is what I want.
I don't want a ring,
I don't want a wedding,
I just want this locket,
with a picture of
our child in it.
I mean,
we've never been traditional.
We made out
the first night
we ever met.
And when we did date,
we broke up,
but you didn't realize it
and that was very
embarrassing for you.
Yeah, let's maybe not talk
about that part right now.
And then we got
pregnant as friends,
and then we fell in love.
We've never been
very conventional.
So, why start now?
Theodore,
we will not be
needing that ring.
But we would like
to purchase this locket.
How much?
Just take it and
get outta here.
Thank you.
Thanks.
We're here to
discuss a business contract
for the Lafayette
Park food stand.
Miss Knope,
you've always steered
this committee in
the right direction.
Why do you think we should
renew Hot Stu's lease?
Well, frankly,
it's because of Stu.
Here is a man who
was ready to retire,
spend time with
his family, travel.
And then he realized,
"No, I want to spend
"my time in a small
metal box all summer
"bent over a boiling cauldron
of steaming, bubbling meat."
Making stew is hard.
Up at the crack of dawn,
backbreaking labor,
your clothes smelling
like salt and gristle.
Sure, profits are minimal,
but Stu doesn't
care about that.
Maybe a year
extension isn't enough.
Maybe we should
make it five years.
Heck, why don't we
give him a lifetime deal?
I'd like to see
Stu ladling out his
pungent beef smoothies
until we bury him
under that shed.
Hey. I think
I've made
a terrible mistake.
Okay, that was bleak.
Uh, Mr. Haverford,
you have
a presentation as well?
Hey. Rip it.
There's nothing more
American than lemonade.
Just saying the word
makes you wanna drink some.
And now you can.
Check under your seats.
Hey, hey,
it has my name on it!
Yes, it does.
Classic for you, Carter.
Darva, yours
is a pink lemonade.
I know you love that.
Because I like pink!
That's right!
Now, who here
likes laser shows?
Summer foot traffic
in Lafayette Park
has increased 23%.
The Indiana Brothers
are the fastest-growing
beverage company
in the Midwest.
My projections show they can
increase government revenue
30% over
the next five years.
Plus, they've agreed
to waive their franchise fee.
Look, guys. I'm sorry
about all the new rules,
but, you know,
I want you to like me.
But I also really
need you to respect me.
I respect you, little buddy!
Hmm, respect noogie!
We didn't prank you
because we don't respect you.
We did it 'cause
we love you.
R-E-S-P-E-G-C.
That's actually not
how respect is spelled.
Yes.
According to Urethra Franklin,
that's exactly
how it's spelled.
Hey, Wyatt. You were
a good sport earlier.
No hard feelings?
Here's a little gift for
you for believing in me.
Oh.
It's a gel-based hair serum.
Enough with the mousse.
For real.
Okay. Well, Ron.
You were right.
Tom has really grown up.
You seem merely overjoyed,
instead of irritatingly
ecstatic. Why?
Well, Tom's come into his own,
April runs Animal Control.
I mean, does this department
even need me anymore?
No. We do not.
April and Tom
started out as two
of the most apathetic
people I had ever met.
It's why I hired them.
Then you betrayed me
and turned them into
efficient and caring
government employees.
This office can indeed
function without you.
And, soon, it'll have to.
Was that a death threat?
We both know you're not
going to be here forever.
This is a way station,
on the road to bigger
and better things.
Whenever you do move on,
it should please
you to know that,
God help me, you've built
a well-functioning
government agency.
Oh, that reminds me.
I know you don't open
your mail, but I do, and...
Because you created
Tom's position,
Business Liaison,
and it's already
financially paying off,
you have received Pawnee's
Government Employee
of the Month.
I mean, it has taken...