1 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:04,240 "Leslie Knope and 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:04,240 Ben Wyatt were married 3 00:00:04,310 --> 00:00:07,010 "one year ago this week 4 00:00:04,310 --> 00:00:07,010 at the Pawnee City Hall. 5 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,570 "The bride wore a gown 6 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,570 made by her friend, 7 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,570 Ann Perkins. 8 00:00:09,650 --> 00:00:11,140 "And the groom wore 9 00:00:09,650 --> 00:00:11,140 a butt so perfect, 10 00:00:11,250 --> 00:00:12,770 "it could make 11 00:00:11,250 --> 00:00:12,770 an angel hang itself." 12 00:00:12,950 --> 00:00:13,940 You wrote this, didn't you? 13 00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:16,040 I did. 14 00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:16,040 They cut it way down. 15 00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:19,710 Thank God. Okay. 16 00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:19,710 So, the big day 17 00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:19,710 is tomorrow. 18 00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:21,020 So, let's go 19 00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:21,020 over this again. 20 00:00:21,090 --> 00:00:22,620 What are 21 00:00:21,090 --> 00:00:22,620 the anniversary rules? 22 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:26,060 At least 100 kisses, 23 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:26,060 dinner at 7:00, 24 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:26,060 and no gifts. 25 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,650 That's right. No gifts. 26 00:00:27,730 --> 00:00:28,720 No gifts. 27 00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:31,430 No gifts. 28 00:00:31,670 --> 00:00:32,860 Oh, I'm getting 29 00:00:31,670 --> 00:00:32,860 him a gift. 30 00:00:33,370 --> 00:00:35,030 I always say that 31 00:00:33,370 --> 00:00:35,030 I'm not going to 32 00:00:33,370 --> 00:00:35,030 get him a gift, 33 00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:37,580 and Ben always believes me. 34 00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:37,580 And then, bam. 35 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:39,740 I surprise him with 36 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:39,740 the best gift of all time. 37 00:00:39,980 --> 00:00:44,010 He makes the cutest, 38 00:00:39,980 --> 00:00:44,010 dopiest face 39 00:00:39,980 --> 00:00:44,010 when he's surprised. 40 00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:47,010 It's like, "What!" 41 00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:49,780 I'm not going to make 42 00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:49,780 my stupid surprise 43 00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:49,780 face this year 44 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,650 because this time, 45 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,650 I got her the most 46 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,650 amazing gift ever. 47 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,320 And she'll never see 48 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,320 it coming because I'm 49 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,320 giving it to her today. 50 00:00:55,460 --> 00:00:56,520 One day early. 51 00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:58,600 So, she's going to 52 00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:58,600 make the face this year. 53 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,000 She will make 54 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,000 that stupid face! 55 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:24,420 Additional support 56 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:24,420 for Pawnee Public Radio 57 00:01:24,490 --> 00:01:27,950 comes from the Edgar C. 58 00:01:24,490 --> 00:01:27,950 and Janis R. Lumway 59 00:01:24,490 --> 00:01:27,950 Foundation, 60 00:01:28,190 --> 00:01:31,490 and the Richard 61 00:01:28,190 --> 00:01:31,490 and Lois Wallenberg 62 00:01:28,190 --> 00:01:31,490 Foundation Foundation. 63 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,060 Dedicated to the idea 64 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,060 that all human beings 65 00:01:34,130 --> 00:01:36,860 deserve a chance to 66 00:01:34,130 --> 00:01:36,860 hear about foundations. 67 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,900 Welcome to Thought 68 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,900 For Your Thoughts. 69 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,740 I'm your Pawneean host, 70 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,740 Derry Murbles. 71 00:01:43,810 --> 00:01:47,270 And I'm your Eagletonian host, 72 00:01:43,810 --> 00:01:47,270 August Clementine. 73 00:01:47,410 --> 00:01:50,750 Yes. If you have not heard 74 00:01:47,410 --> 00:01:50,750 our program in a while, 75 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,440 Thought For Your Thoughts 76 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,440 now has a co-host, 77 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,450 thanks to 78 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,450 the Pawnee-Eagleton merger. 79 00:01:56,620 --> 00:01:59,920 I believe that is the 80 00:01:56,620 --> 00:01:59,920 "Eagleton-Pawnee merger," 81 00:01:56,620 --> 00:01:59,920 n'est-ce pas? 82 00:02:00,260 --> 00:02:02,660 I'd like to apologize 83 00:02:00,260 --> 00:02:02,660 to our listeners 84 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:06,990 for my co-host's 85 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:06,990 sudden and violent 86 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:06,990 outburst just now. 87 00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:11,370 Our guest is former 88 00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:11,370 City Councilwoman 89 00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:11,370 Leslie Knope. 90 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:13,060 Leslie, thought... 91 00:02:13,140 --> 00:02:15,370 For your thoughts, 92 00:02:13,140 --> 00:02:15,370 I said it. 93 00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:18,840 Absorb the aggression, Derry. 94 00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:21,280 Absorb the aggression. 95 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:24,570 Well, I just want 96 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:24,570 to say thank you so 97 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:24,570 much for having me. 98 00:02:24,650 --> 00:02:25,950 It is a thrill to be here. 99 00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:29,150 As a listener, 100 00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:29,150 I think the merging 101 00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:29,150 of your two shows 102 00:02:29,220 --> 00:02:33,820 has really created 103 00:02:29,220 --> 00:02:33,820 such a big, quiet, 104 00:02:29,220 --> 00:02:33,820 arcane ball of fun. 105 00:02:34,060 --> 00:02:37,150 It's been a couple of months 106 00:02:34,060 --> 00:02:37,150 since Pawnee and 107 00:02:34,060 --> 00:02:37,150 Eagleton officially merged. 108 00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:39,930 Things are going okay. 109 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,930 There's still 110 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,930 a little animosity 111 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,930 between the two towns. 112 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,870 I haven't seen 113 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,870 Pawneeans this mad 114 00:02:44,940 --> 00:02:49,310 since Frankie's 115 00:02:44,940 --> 00:02:49,310 discontinued their pizza 116 00:02:44,940 --> 00:02:49,310 stuffed crust pizza. 117 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:52,780 It was a pizza 118 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:52,780 whose crust was stuffed 119 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:52,780 with little pizzas. 120 00:02:53,010 --> 00:02:56,450 And the crusts of 121 00:02:53,010 --> 00:02:56,450 those little pizzas 122 00:02:53,010 --> 00:02:56,450 was made of chocolate. 123 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,310 Ms. Knope, I understand 124 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,310 you're here today 125 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:04,110 to try to convince us 126 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:04,110 that this disastrous 127 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:04,110 merger of our two towns was, 128 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,620 in any way, a good idea. 129 00:03:06,890 --> 00:03:08,830 Yes, there were some 130 00:03:06,890 --> 00:03:08,830 bumps and bruises, 131 00:03:08,890 --> 00:03:11,230 and a brief rash of arson, 132 00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:15,090 and a rather 133 00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:15,090 large-scale brawl 134 00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:15,090 at the dump. 135 00:03:15,230 --> 00:03:19,400 But overall, the state 136 00:03:15,230 --> 00:03:19,400 of the merger 137 00:03:15,230 --> 00:03:19,400 is very strong. 138 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:21,030 Scoff. 139 00:03:21,170 --> 00:03:23,000 Did you just say 140 00:03:21,170 --> 00:03:23,000 the word "scoff"? 141 00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:24,600 You must admit, Ms. Knope, 142 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:29,170 that the merging 143 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:29,170 of the towns has been 144 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:29,170 fraught with antipathy. 145 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:34,280 For example, I now 146 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:34,280 have to share my studio 147 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:34,280 with a fatuous twerp 148 00:03:34,650 --> 00:03:36,280 who shall remain nameless. 149 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,020 This "twerp" has a name. 150 00:03:38,090 --> 00:03:41,750 And it's August N'gutu 151 00:03:38,090 --> 00:03:41,750 Liebowitz-Clementine. 152 00:03:42,630 --> 00:03:44,620 Guys? Hello? 153 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,490 Thank you so much 154 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,490 for letting me help 155 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,490 plan your anniversary. 156 00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:51,360 It is so wonderful 157 00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:51,360 to be part of 158 00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:51,360 such a special day. 159 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,400 Okay. Remember, 160 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,400 under no circumstances 161 00:03:53,470 --> 00:03:55,130 can Leslie know 162 00:03:53,470 --> 00:03:55,130 about what's going on. 163 00:03:55,310 --> 00:03:57,640 She has to make that face. 164 00:03:55,310 --> 00:03:57,640 Do you understand? 165 00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,830 I don't, fully. 166 00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,830 But my lips are sealed. 167 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:01,600 I asked for Larry's 168 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:01,600 help because he has the 169 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,410 most successful 170 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,410 marriage of anyone I know. 171 00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,550 To a gorgeous woman. 172 00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:08,810 Which, honestly, 173 00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:08,810 is still a mystery to me. 174 00:04:09,590 --> 00:04:11,890 Was it a hypnosis 175 00:04:09,590 --> 00:04:11,890 accident or something, 176 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:15,290 where they put Gayle under 177 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:15,290 and made her fall 178 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:15,290 in love with Larry 179 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,420 and never said the magic word 180 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,420 to snap her out of it? 181 00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:21,460 Like, if I say "nutmeg," 182 00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:21,460 will she wake up 183 00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:21,460 and start screaming? 184 00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:24,560 What kind of pet are you 185 00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:24,560 interested in adopting? 186 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,540 We have dogs, cats, rabbits... 187 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,510 Um, I work here, so, 188 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,510 legally, you can adopt me. 189 00:04:29,610 --> 00:04:32,170 The girls want 190 00:04:29,610 --> 00:04:32,170 an actual dog, 191 00:04:32,310 --> 00:04:34,070 and they want it 192 00:04:32,310 --> 00:04:34,070 to look like this. 193 00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:35,170 Interesting. 194 00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:38,510 So, like a banana 195 00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:38,510 made of spiders? 196 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:42,410 I've said it before 197 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:42,410 and I'll say it again. 198 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:42,410 Children are terrible artists. 199 00:04:42,890 --> 00:04:44,860 And artists are crooks. 200 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:46,820 I think I know a good dog. 201 00:04:48,290 --> 00:04:50,920 There he is. 202 00:04:48,290 --> 00:04:50,920 Ron, how about this guy? 203 00:04:51,030 --> 00:04:53,860 Yes, he is a handsome fellow. 204 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,500 Hello, dog. 205 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,500 I'll take him. 206 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,660 That was easy. Awesome. 207 00:04:58,770 --> 00:05:02,670 Well, Donna can help you 208 00:04:58,770 --> 00:05:02,670 get started on the paperwork. 209 00:05:03,140 --> 00:05:04,130 Donna? 210 00:05:07,580 --> 00:05:10,610 Oh. God, she's always 211 00:05:07,580 --> 00:05:10,610 just leaving and not 212 00:05:07,580 --> 00:05:10,610 telling me. 213 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,810 Hello, caller. 214 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,810 You have a comment? 215 00:05:13,950 --> 00:05:15,610 Yeah. Ever since the merger, 216 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,120 we've had a really 217 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,120 bad trash problem. 218 00:05:18,290 --> 00:05:20,220 Well, yes, 219 00:05:18,290 --> 00:05:20,220 there has been 220 00:05:18,290 --> 00:05:20,220 some confusion 221 00:05:20,290 --> 00:05:21,550 with some of 222 00:05:20,290 --> 00:05:21,550 the garbage routes, 223 00:05:21,630 --> 00:05:24,190 and the Sanitation Department 224 00:05:21,630 --> 00:05:24,190 is stretched a little thin... 225 00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:27,160 No, I mean 226 00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:27,160 Eagletonians are 227 00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:27,160 human garbage, 228 00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:29,130 and we should throw 229 00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:29,130 them in a dumpster. 230 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,190 Ka-pow! 231 00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:32,000 Yeah, I really 232 00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:32,000 like the merger, 233 00:05:32,140 --> 00:05:34,870 but I hate that 234 00:05:32,140 --> 00:05:34,870 Eagleton was forced 235 00:05:32,140 --> 00:05:34,870 to join Pawnee. 236 00:05:34,970 --> 00:05:36,670 Well, that's what 237 00:05:34,970 --> 00:05:36,670 the merger is. 238 00:05:36,910 --> 00:05:39,340 Oh. Yeah, then, 239 00:05:36,910 --> 00:05:39,340 I hate the merger. 240 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,780 I think 241 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,780 the merger was great. 242 00:05:41,980 --> 00:05:45,540 And I think Leslie 243 00:05:41,980 --> 00:05:45,540 Knope did an amazing job. 244 00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:47,640 I don't know who 245 00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:47,640 this is, but I agree. 246 00:05:47,790 --> 00:05:48,980 It's Andy. 247 00:05:47,790 --> 00:05:48,980 Hey. 248 00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:50,350 I'm on the radio. 249 00:05:50,590 --> 00:05:53,250 Well, that's all the time 250 00:05:50,590 --> 00:05:53,250 we have on 251 00:05:50,590 --> 00:05:53,250 Thought For Your Thoughts. 252 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:54,350 I'm Derry Murbles. 253 00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:58,220 And I'm August Clementine, 254 00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:58,220 and I talked last. 255 00:05:58,800 --> 00:05:59,790 Good day. 256 00:06:02,170 --> 00:06:03,660 Is this land mine 257 00:06:02,170 --> 00:06:03,660 still functional? 258 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,100 Partially. 259 00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:09,940 Why? 260 00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:09,940 Because I want to 261 00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:09,940 blow up Donna's desk 262 00:06:10,010 --> 00:06:12,700 so I can teach her a lesson 263 00:06:10,010 --> 00:06:12,700 about what happens 264 00:06:10,010 --> 00:06:12,700 when you skip work. 265 00:06:12,910 --> 00:06:14,810 I'm not sure that's how 266 00:06:12,910 --> 00:06:14,810 you should go about this. 267 00:06:14,910 --> 00:06:19,080 I'm kind of her boss now, 268 00:06:14,910 --> 00:06:19,080 but I still feel 269 00:06:14,910 --> 00:06:19,080 weird disciplining her. 270 00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:20,240 What do I do? 271 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,690 Look her in the eyes 272 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,690 and tell her exactly 273 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,690 what you need from her. 274 00:06:23,890 --> 00:06:26,410 Be mature, direct and firm. 275 00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:30,160 What? Some fool just 276 00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:30,160 slammed me on Yelp. 277 00:06:30,260 --> 00:06:31,560 I took Ron's advice. 278 00:06:31,730 --> 00:06:34,630 I very maturely and 279 00:06:31,730 --> 00:06:34,630 straight-forwardly 280 00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:37,290 left anonymous comments 281 00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:37,290 about Donna online. 282 00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:39,560 "Stopped by to adopt a dog, 283 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:43,230 "but the employee, 284 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:43,230 Donna Meagle, 285 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:43,230 was nowhere to be found. 286 00:06:43,340 --> 00:06:46,540 "Thanks for nothing, 287 00:06:43,340 --> 00:06:46,540 Donna Meagle. Boo." 288 00:06:46,610 --> 00:06:48,200 With five "O's." 289 00:06:48,410 --> 00:06:49,710 Oh, my God, 290 00:06:48,410 --> 00:06:49,710 that sucks. 291 00:06:49,850 --> 00:06:51,750 Just have to work 292 00:06:49,850 --> 00:06:51,750 harder, I guess, huh? 293 00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:54,910 This freak thinks he 294 00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:54,910 can hide behind some 295 00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:54,910 anonymous username? 296 00:06:55,050 --> 00:06:58,050 I'm about to 297 00:06:55,050 --> 00:06:58,050 hunt you down. 298 00:06:58,820 --> 00:07:01,220 Don't be upset, Leslie. 299 00:06:58,820 --> 00:07:01,220 No one listens to the radio. 300 00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:03,490 I wasn't even listening. 301 00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:03,490 I was listening to podcasts. 302 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,090 Podcasts are great. 303 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,090 Radio is boring. 304 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,160 Tom, this merger 305 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,160 needs a win. 306 00:07:07,230 --> 00:07:09,130 Something symbolic 307 00:07:07,230 --> 00:07:09,130 and bright and happy 308 00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:11,560 that will show 309 00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:11,560 that there's a light 310 00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:11,560 at the end of the tunnel. 311 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,190 God, I am so stressed. 312 00:07:13,370 --> 00:07:15,840 Uh, Leslie, may I 313 00:07:13,370 --> 00:07:15,840 borrow you for a second? 314 00:07:15,910 --> 00:07:17,240 Something very 315 00:07:15,910 --> 00:07:17,240 special to show you. 316 00:07:17,310 --> 00:07:19,170 Now is not the time, Larry. 317 00:07:17,310 --> 00:07:19,170 Please leave. 318 00:07:19,310 --> 00:07:20,330 I think you... 319 00:07:20,410 --> 00:07:21,540 Larry. What are 320 00:07:20,410 --> 00:07:21,540 you still doing here? 321 00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:23,240 Oh, geez. Okay. 322 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:26,340 I just wish Pawnee 323 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:26,340 and Eagleton were 324 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:26,340 as happy as Ben and me. 325 00:07:27,450 --> 00:07:28,680 Yeah, by the way, 326 00:07:27,450 --> 00:07:28,680 I was going to mention, 327 00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:30,220 you look really 328 00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:30,220 old in this picture. 329 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:31,540 What? 330 00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:33,520 Andy, this is 331 00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:33,520 the picture of us. 332 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,560 This is the picture 333 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,560 of an elderly couple, 334 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,560 Rosie and Doug DeMarco. 335 00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,150 They've been 336 00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,150 married for 50 years. 337 00:07:38,230 --> 00:07:39,720 "Rosie hails from Pawnee, 338 00:07:38,230 --> 00:07:39,720 while Doug 339 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,660 "is originally from 340 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,660 the former Eagleton." 341 00:07:42,970 --> 00:07:44,130 Oh, my God. This is perfect. 342 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,400 A Pawnee-Eagleton couple 343 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,400 that has been 344 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,400 married for 50 years 345 00:07:47,470 --> 00:07:50,170 is a perfect symbol 346 00:07:47,470 --> 00:07:50,170 of how our 347 00:07:47,470 --> 00:07:50,170 towns can get along. 348 00:07:50,310 --> 00:07:51,870 And we are going 349 00:07:50,310 --> 00:07:51,870 to hold them up 350 00:07:51,940 --> 00:07:54,310 as an example of 351 00:07:51,940 --> 00:07:54,310 Pawnee-Eagleton unity. 352 00:07:54,410 --> 00:07:57,040 Whoo! I'm getting 353 00:07:54,410 --> 00:07:57,040 the epiphany sweats. 354 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:04,120 Stop where you are and 355 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:04,120 take off your clothes. 356 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:04,120 It's couples massage. 357 00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:05,980 Ugh! Where's Leslie? 358 00:08:06,060 --> 00:08:07,920 Oh, Well, she seemed 359 00:08:06,060 --> 00:08:07,920 kind of stressed out, 360 00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:10,790 and then she yelled at me 361 00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:10,790 and she said she 362 00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:10,790 was too busy to come. 363 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,400 And since you had said, 364 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,400 "Do not tell her 365 00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:13,800 the secret under 366 00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:13,800 any circumstance," 367 00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:14,890 I felt... 368 00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:14,890 Oh, man. 369 00:08:15,130 --> 00:08:18,160 Well, that's 370 00:08:15,130 --> 00:08:18,160 the danger of doing things 371 00:08:15,130 --> 00:08:18,160 a day early, I guess. 372 00:08:18,270 --> 00:08:19,760 Should I text her, 373 00:08:18,270 --> 00:08:19,760 try again? 374 00:08:19,870 --> 00:08:21,860 Why don't you just go ahead, 375 00:08:19,870 --> 00:08:21,860 get your massage, 376 00:08:22,010 --> 00:08:23,840 and then, hopefully, 377 00:08:22,010 --> 00:08:23,840 we can get her in 378 00:08:22,010 --> 00:08:23,840 for the next thing. 379 00:08:23,940 --> 00:08:25,930 Okay. I have been 380 00:08:23,940 --> 00:08:25,930 kind of tense lately, 381 00:08:26,110 --> 00:08:28,270 just thinking about 382 00:08:26,110 --> 00:08:28,270 the new Star Wars sequel. 383 00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:31,080 I'm afraid they're going 384 00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:31,080 to rely too heavily on CGI, 385 00:08:31,180 --> 00:08:32,980 and I'm carrying it 386 00:08:31,180 --> 00:08:32,980 all in my shoulders. 387 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,810 Just you? 388 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,810 You paid for a couple. 389 00:08:36,420 --> 00:08:39,150 Well, I can't believe 390 00:08:36,420 --> 00:08:39,150 I'm saying this, but, uh... 391 00:08:40,460 --> 00:08:43,260 Larry, would you like to get 392 00:08:40,460 --> 00:08:43,260 a couple's massage with me? 393 00:08:43,830 --> 00:08:44,950 I would love to. 394 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,060 Are you sure we 395 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,060 should do this? 396 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,290 The last time we 397 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,290 scared an old person, 398 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,290 Larry had a heart attack. 399 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,090 That was awesome. 400 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,090 He farted so much. 401 00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:54,370 Okay, look. Obviously, 402 00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:54,370 we don't really 403 00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:54,370 know these people, 404 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,970 so let's keep things 405 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,970 fun and positive and 406 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,970 celebratory and merger-y. 407 00:09:00,710 --> 00:09:01,700 Can I help you? 408 00:09:01,780 --> 00:09:03,750 Hello, Mrs. DeMarco. 409 00:09:01,780 --> 00:09:03,750 I am Leslie Knope, 410 00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:05,510 and we saw your announcement 411 00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:05,510 in the newspaper, 412 00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:10,080 and we would love to 413 00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:10,080 treat you and your husband 414 00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:10,080 to a very special day. 415 00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:12,420 All right. 416 00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:12,420 How much money did we win? 417 00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:15,060 Oh, no, you didn't win any 418 00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:15,060 money. You won something 419 00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:15,060 better than money. 420 00:09:15,230 --> 00:09:17,420 A golden 421 00:09:15,230 --> 00:09:17,420 anniversary celebration. 422 00:09:18,230 --> 00:09:19,660 So, no money? 423 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,560 No. 424 00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:24,400 And I'm now just realizing 425 00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:24,400 how misleading 426 00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:24,400 this giant check is. 427 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:25,590 Told you. 428 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:25,590 Yes, you did, Tom. 429 00:09:25,670 --> 00:09:26,690 Thank you. 430 00:09:25,670 --> 00:09:26,690 Now's not the time. 431 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,330 We... Hey! Hey, hey! Hey! 432 00:09:28,670 --> 00:09:29,970 Uh... We'll give 433 00:09:28,670 --> 00:09:29,970 you some money. Okay? 434 00:09:30,110 --> 00:09:31,630 Here. Here's some money. 435 00:09:30,110 --> 00:09:31,630 Everybody, give them money. 436 00:09:31,740 --> 00:09:35,440 I've got football cards 437 00:09:31,740 --> 00:09:35,440 and a travel mouthwash. 438 00:09:35,550 --> 00:09:37,070 Wow, that's great! 439 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:38,650 Let's get started! 440 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,210 Just give me the I.P. 441 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,210 address of the dude 442 00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,150 that gave me that 443 00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,150 cracked-out Yelp review. 444 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:45,810 Okay, here we go. 445 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:45,810 The I.P. address says 446 00:09:45,890 --> 00:09:48,150 it came from 447 00:09:45,890 --> 00:09:48,150 someone inside City Hall. 448 00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:50,950 In this building? 449 00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:50,950 Oh, hell, no. 450 00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,430 Well, who cares, 451 00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,430 really. It's just some 452 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,330 dumb Internet person. 453 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,330 Ignore it. 454 00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:55,450 Ignore it? 455 00:09:55,630 --> 00:09:58,900 I'm about to come 456 00:09:55,630 --> 00:09:58,900 down on this dude 457 00:09:55,630 --> 00:09:58,900 like Thor's hammer, Mjolnir. 458 00:09:59,070 --> 00:10:01,830 I'm about to go 459 00:09:59,070 --> 00:10:01,830 Mjolnir on his ass. 460 00:10:03,410 --> 00:10:05,430 Speaking of bad reviews... 461 00:10:05,510 --> 00:10:07,340 Computers are 462 00:10:05,510 --> 00:10:07,340 mostly pointless. 463 00:10:07,580 --> 00:10:10,010 But that Yelp thing 464 00:10:07,580 --> 00:10:10,010 gave me a great idea 465 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,240 on how to criticize 466 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,240 people and places. 467 00:10:13,350 --> 00:10:17,790 I am composing 468 00:10:13,350 --> 00:10:17,790 strongly-worded letters 469 00:10:13,350 --> 00:10:17,790 about things I disapprove of, 470 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,480 and I am using the Internet 471 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,480 to get addresses 472 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,480 where I can send them. 473 00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:23,890 So far, I have 474 00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:23,890 written to a vegetable farm, 475 00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:28,300 several European ambassadors, 476 00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:28,300 a manufacturer of male cologne 477 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:31,260 and a non-fat 478 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:31,260 frozen yogurt bar. 479 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:35,600 "Dear frozen yogurt, 480 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:35,600 you are the celery 481 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:35,600 of desserts. 482 00:10:35,810 --> 00:10:37,800 "Be ice cream, or be nothing. 483 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:39,770 "Zero stars." 484 00:10:41,410 --> 00:10:44,870 Oh, I cannot wait for 485 00:10:41,410 --> 00:10:44,870 Leslie to see this surprise. 486 00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:46,240 I am so prepared. 487 00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:49,220 I watched Enchanted 488 00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:49,220 three times to get 489 00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:49,220 all the details right. 490 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:53,050 And then, another 491 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:53,050 two times because 492 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:53,050 that movie is amazing. 493 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,560 Oh, it really is. 494 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,190 Hello? 495 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,190 Oh, hey, Leslie. Uh... 496 00:10:57,260 --> 00:10:59,420 You want to go 497 00:10:57,260 --> 00:10:59,420 grab lunch together? 498 00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:00,760 I'm out front. Super casual. 499 00:11:00,830 --> 00:11:01,820 Sorry, babe, 500 00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:04,660 I'm not even in my office. 501 00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:04,660 I'm out saving the merger. 502 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,200 Can it wait? 503 00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:09,030 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 504 00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:09,030 No worries. 505 00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:09,030 Okay. Great. 506 00:11:09,110 --> 00:11:10,340 I'll see you at dinner. 507 00:11:09,110 --> 00:11:10,340 I love you. 508 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:12,670 Oh, boy. 509 00:11:12,810 --> 00:11:14,140 Well, it's not too 510 00:11:12,810 --> 00:11:14,140 late to cancel 511 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,210 the waffle buffet or 512 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,210 the Hillary impersonator, 513 00:11:16,350 --> 00:11:18,440 but a lot of these deposits 514 00:11:16,350 --> 00:11:18,440 were non-refundable. 515 00:11:16,350 --> 00:11:18,440 Oh. 516 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,980 Hey, Larry, 517 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,980 you up for a boys' day out 518 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,980 in a horse-drawn carriage? 519 00:11:24,620 --> 00:11:26,560 Sure. What the heck. 520 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,990 Well, thus begins our 521 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,990 Enchanted adventure. 522 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,230 God, that movie 523 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,230 really was amazing. 524 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:34,160 You know what 525 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:34,160 doesn't get enough 526 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:34,160 credit in that movie? 527 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:35,600 Music. 528 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:35,600 The score. 529 00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:39,270 Good sir, tally-ho. 530 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:41,230 Kind sir, 531 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:41,230 that's from the movie! 532 00:11:41,310 --> 00:11:43,070 That is definitely 533 00:11:41,310 --> 00:11:43,070 from the movie. 534 00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:45,430 Okay, you two. 535 00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:45,430 Head on up there. 536 00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:48,340 We are going to recreate 537 00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:48,340 your wedding photo 538 00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:48,340 from 50 years ago. 539 00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:50,970 Okay. 540 00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:50,970 Let's re-live that day. 541 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,580 Only this time, 542 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,580 could we shave 543 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,580 her mustache? 544 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,050 Oh, boy, I don't know. 545 00:11:56,190 --> 00:11:58,990 I'm kind of worried 546 00:11:56,190 --> 00:11:58,990 about putting 547 00:11:56,190 --> 00:11:58,990 these two on live TV. 548 00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:00,490 They're sort of grumpy. 549 00:12:00,590 --> 00:12:02,750 Why are we wasting 550 00:12:00,590 --> 00:12:02,750 our time with these 551 00:12:00,590 --> 00:12:02,750 old people anyway? 552 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,520 They're like the old 553 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,520 version of iTunes. 554 00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:06,360 We're like the new 555 00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:06,360 version of iTunes, baby. 556 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:08,330 We're going to 557 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:08,330 be here forever. 558 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:13,130 Oh, my God. 559 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:13,130 I'm going to die someday. 560 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:14,500 Well, let's just hope 561 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:14,500 that deep down, 562 00:12:14,570 --> 00:12:15,770 these two still 563 00:12:14,570 --> 00:12:15,770 love each other. 564 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:18,430 Hey. No touching. 565 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:18,430 This is not your birthday. 566 00:12:20,510 --> 00:12:23,910 Now, you see, 567 00:12:20,510 --> 00:12:23,910 the trick with paella 568 00:12:20,510 --> 00:12:23,910 is to use just enough saffron 569 00:12:23,980 --> 00:12:25,640 to complement the shellfish. 570 00:12:23,980 --> 00:12:25,640 Okay. 571 00:12:27,450 --> 00:12:29,580 Oh, man, that is so good. 572 00:12:27,450 --> 00:12:29,580 Oh, yeah. 573 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,720 Wow. Isn't this exciting? 574 00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:33,780 In just a few minutes, 575 00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:33,780 you are going to be 576 00:12:33,860 --> 00:12:35,830 professing your 577 00:12:33,860 --> 00:12:35,830 love on television. 578 00:12:35,990 --> 00:12:37,590 Could I have a glass 579 00:12:35,990 --> 00:12:37,590 of water before we go on? 580 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:38,890 Don't give him any water. 581 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,330 He does this annoying thing 582 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,330 where every time he 583 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,330 takes a drink of water, 584 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,560 he goes... Aah! 585 00:12:42,630 --> 00:12:45,260 She does this annoying thing 586 00:12:42,630 --> 00:12:45,260 where every time she 587 00:12:42,630 --> 00:12:45,260 takes a drink of water, 588 00:12:45,340 --> 00:12:46,530 she's an old nag. 589 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:50,300 Ah! The playful banter 590 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:50,300 of a couple on the same team. 591 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:51,870 That's what this is, right? 592 00:12:52,010 --> 00:12:54,240 All right, 593 00:12:52,010 --> 00:12:54,240 let's burn this candle. 594 00:12:54,310 --> 00:12:57,540 Hey, Joan, if we could 595 00:12:54,310 --> 00:12:57,540 just have a moment. 596 00:12:54,310 --> 00:12:57,540 We need to get ready. 597 00:12:57,650 --> 00:13:00,450 Oh, no, no, 598 00:12:57,650 --> 00:13:00,450 we've got to go. Yeah, 599 00:12:57,650 --> 00:13:00,450 the uppers are kicking in. 600 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,280 Just took some ludes 601 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,280 to kind of smooth it out. 602 00:13:02,350 --> 00:13:03,650 So, I'm right 603 00:13:02,350 --> 00:13:03,650 in that sweet spot. 604 00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:08,220 Got about 20 minutes before 605 00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:08,220 I either get really 606 00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:08,220 tired or really horny. 607 00:13:08,290 --> 00:13:10,450 So, let's roll. 608 00:13:10,860 --> 00:13:13,330 Dougie, are you 609 00:13:10,860 --> 00:13:13,330 sure you want 610 00:13:10,860 --> 00:13:13,330 to go on television? 611 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,860 You look like 612 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,860 a leather glove got 613 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,860 caught in a lawn mower. 614 00:13:15,930 --> 00:13:18,400 Okay. You know what? 615 00:13:15,930 --> 00:13:18,400 I'm going to admit something. 616 00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:20,770 I orchestrated 617 00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:20,770 the Pawnee-Eagleton merger, 618 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,810 and I was hoping 619 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,810 that your marriage 620 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,810 could show people 621 00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,900 that a happy 622 00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,900 union is possible. 623 00:13:25,980 --> 00:13:28,380 So, when you're out there, 624 00:13:25,980 --> 00:13:28,380 if you could just, you know, 625 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,240 look back over 626 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,240 the past 50 years together 627 00:13:31,350 --> 00:13:33,720 and focus on 628 00:13:31,350 --> 00:13:33,720 the good times. Okay? 629 00:13:35,820 --> 00:13:37,290 Donna, you wanted to see me? 630 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,620 Yes, I did, troll. 631 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,620 What? 632 00:13:39,690 --> 00:13:41,450 You tried to 633 00:13:39,690 --> 00:13:41,450 adopt a cat last week, 634 00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:43,150 and I turned you 635 00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:43,150 down because I thought 636 00:13:43,230 --> 00:13:45,460 it was too sad for 637 00:13:43,230 --> 00:13:45,460 you to have six cats. 638 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:49,030 Then, you tried to 639 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:49,030 blow up my spot online. 640 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:49,030 You're fired. 641 00:13:49,530 --> 00:13:52,130 You're not my boss. 642 00:13:49,530 --> 00:13:52,130 I work for the City 643 00:13:49,530 --> 00:13:52,130 Attorney's office. 644 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,760 You're fired. 645 00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:59,700 How much postage 646 00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:59,700 does it take to send 647 00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:59,700 a letter to Canada? 648 00:14:00,010 --> 00:14:01,540 Who is it going to? 649 00:14:00,010 --> 00:14:01,540 Canada. 650 00:14:02,210 --> 00:14:04,480 It says, "Dear Canada, 651 00:14:02,210 --> 00:14:04,480 you." 652 00:14:05,780 --> 00:14:07,480 Doug and Rosie DeMarco. 653 00:14:07,550 --> 00:14:09,180 Fifty years. 654 00:14:07,550 --> 00:14:09,180 Aah. 655 00:14:09,690 --> 00:14:11,450 Tell us how you first met. 656 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:18,160 Well, it was 1963 657 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:18,160 and we met, 658 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:18,160 and it was great. 659 00:14:18,830 --> 00:14:20,390 Isn't love grand? 660 00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,300 Fifty years of marriage, 661 00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:26,400 helping to bridge 662 00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:26,400 the meaningless divide 663 00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:26,400 between Pawnee and Eagleton. 664 00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:28,100 Yeah. My show, 665 00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:28,100 my questions. 666 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:30,740 So, what is the secret 667 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:30,740 sauce that we should 668 00:14:30,810 --> 00:14:33,280 all be putting on 669 00:14:30,810 --> 00:14:33,280 our marriage burgers? 670 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,470 Well, we never 671 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,470 go to bed angry. 672 00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:37,010 Never, ever would 673 00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:37,010 have thought of that. 674 00:14:37,650 --> 00:14:40,640 Aah. 675 00:14:37,650 --> 00:14:40,640 Okay. I can't 676 00:14:37,650 --> 00:14:40,640 do this. 677 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,080 Leslie, you can 678 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,080 keep your money. 679 00:14:42,690 --> 00:14:44,710 Money? 680 00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:46,220 Did you bribe 681 00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:46,220 them to be here? 682 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,310 No. I... 683 00:14:47,390 --> 00:14:49,190 Leslie offered 684 00:14:47,390 --> 00:14:49,190 us each 200 bucks 685 00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:52,090 to keep this going, 686 00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:52,090 but it's impossible. 687 00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:52,090 Aah! 688 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,220 You want to know 689 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,220 why we got married? 690 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,220 Bring it. 691 00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:57,860 I had no prospects, 692 00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:57,860 and Dougie here had 693 00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:57,860 an alcohol problem. 694 00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:00,130 Plus, the Cold War 695 00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:00,130 was happening. 696 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,300 And frankly, 697 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,300 we all thought we 698 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,300 were going to die. 699 00:15:02,370 --> 00:15:05,040 Well, I figured 700 00:15:02,370 --> 00:15:05,040 I could really 701 00:15:02,370 --> 00:15:05,040 tick off my parents 702 00:15:05,110 --> 00:15:08,510 by shacking up with 703 00:15:05,110 --> 00:15:08,510 some Pawnee trash. 704 00:15:05,110 --> 00:15:08,510 Yeah, cha-cha-cha. 705 00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:12,170 Okay. We all agree 706 00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:12,170 that marriages have 707 00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:12,170 their ups and downs. 708 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,910 But at the end of the day, 709 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,910 they're worth it because... 710 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:18,390 Who likes tap dancing? 711 00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:21,160 I slept with 712 00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:21,160 Sharon in 1979. 713 00:15:21,260 --> 00:15:22,750 I used to get 714 00:15:21,260 --> 00:15:22,750 out of the shower 715 00:15:22,830 --> 00:15:24,350 in front of your 716 00:15:22,830 --> 00:15:24,350 brother on purpose. 717 00:15:27,330 --> 00:15:29,560 Hey, Leslie, who cares? 718 00:15:27,330 --> 00:15:29,560 They're old people. 719 00:15:29,670 --> 00:15:32,160 They eat, 720 00:15:29,670 --> 00:15:32,160 they sleep, they complain, 721 00:15:29,670 --> 00:15:32,160 and they watch Family Feud. 722 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:33,900 Oh, my God, 723 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:33,900 I want to be an old person. 724 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,530 God, I don't know what to do. 725 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,530 I wish Ben was here. 726 00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:37,900 What is he doing right now? 727 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,450 Oh, man! 728 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,450 You did good. 729 00:15:59,530 --> 00:16:02,090 Larry. Wow. 730 00:15:59,530 --> 00:16:02,090 Wow, thank you. 731 00:16:04,270 --> 00:16:05,260 Can I help you? 732 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,830 Yeah. I own Lettuce Eat, 733 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,830 the vegan restaurant 734 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,830 on Lowell Drive. 735 00:16:08,910 --> 00:16:11,470 And I wanted to know 736 00:16:08,910 --> 00:16:11,470 why you nailed this 737 00:16:08,910 --> 00:16:11,470 letter to my door. 738 00:16:11,940 --> 00:16:15,610 "Veganism is the sad result 739 00:16:11,940 --> 00:16:15,610 of a morally corrupt mind. 740 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,200 "Reconsider your life." 741 00:16:18,620 --> 00:16:20,980 Because I believe it. 742 00:16:18,620 --> 00:16:20,980 Good day. 743 00:16:21,420 --> 00:16:23,610 Carnivores. 744 00:16:21,420 --> 00:16:23,610 You're all the same. 745 00:16:25,060 --> 00:16:26,720 How did that guy 746 00:16:25,060 --> 00:16:26,720 know where to find you? 747 00:16:26,990 --> 00:16:28,750 I assume he saw my 748 00:16:26,990 --> 00:16:28,750 name and address at 749 00:16:28,830 --> 00:16:30,990 the bottom of the letter 750 00:16:28,830 --> 00:16:30,990 I nailed to his door. 751 00:16:31,060 --> 00:16:32,190 You signed your real name? 752 00:16:32,260 --> 00:16:33,320 Of course I did. 753 00:16:33,430 --> 00:16:36,530 What's going to happen? 754 00:16:33,430 --> 00:16:36,530 A vegan is going to 755 00:16:33,430 --> 00:16:36,530 physically attack me? 756 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,100 They are basically 757 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,100 made of glass, 758 00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:40,800 but more importantly, 759 00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:40,800 if you believe 760 00:16:40,870 --> 00:16:42,460 in something, 761 00:16:40,870 --> 00:16:42,460 you sign your name to it. 762 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,180 Which is why the makers 763 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,180 of carbonated water 764 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,680 will soon know exactly 765 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,680 where to find me. 766 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:55,020 Donna? Kyle did not 767 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:55,020 write those things. 768 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:55,020 Okay? I did. 769 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,380 I know. 770 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,380 You do? 771 00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,550 I checked what else 772 00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,550 that user had written. 773 00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:01,060 It was a review 774 00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:01,060 of a funeral home 775 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,680 that said, 776 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,680 "Great first date spot." 777 00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,990 I dragged Kyle 778 00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,990 in here to see 779 00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,990 if you would come clean. 780 00:17:05,130 --> 00:17:08,500 Well, you overestimated 781 00:17:05,130 --> 00:17:08,500 how much I care 782 00:17:05,130 --> 00:17:08,500 what happens to Kyle 783 00:17:08,970 --> 00:17:10,490 or anyone, really. 784 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:14,040 But I'm sorry that I 785 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:14,040 didn't just talk to you. 786 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:15,930 And I'm sorry I 787 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:15,930 bailed on work, 788 00:17:16,110 --> 00:17:18,440 and I'm sorry I toyed 789 00:17:16,110 --> 00:17:18,440 with you instead 790 00:17:16,110 --> 00:17:18,440 of coming at you straight. 791 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:22,070 From now on, 792 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:22,070 we say what we feel. Cool? 793 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:23,370 Cool. 794 00:17:23,550 --> 00:17:24,950 Your lipstick looks weird. 795 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:26,450 You're going to want to 796 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:26,450 shut your mouth right now. 797 00:17:26,950 --> 00:17:28,040 Good talk. 798 00:17:28,950 --> 00:17:32,820 I don't know. Maybe Pawneeans 799 00:17:28,950 --> 00:17:32,820 and Eagletonians 800 00:17:28,950 --> 00:17:32,820 aren't meant to co-exist. 801 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,220 Well, at least our 802 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,220 merger is going well. 803 00:17:35,630 --> 00:17:36,920 Cheers. 804 00:17:38,430 --> 00:17:40,290 You know, 805 00:17:38,430 --> 00:17:40,290 Andy and Tom were right 806 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,920 when they said 807 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,920 the DeMarcos don't matter. 808 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,590 Their generation 809 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,590 is the past. 810 00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:46,500 The way to make 811 00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:46,500 this merger take hold 812 00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:46,500 is to focus on the future. 813 00:17:47,470 --> 00:17:50,340 Of course. The children. 814 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,170 The children are our future. 815 00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:55,210 Whitney Houston knew it 816 00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:55,210 and so do you and so do I. 817 00:17:55,410 --> 00:17:56,610 And I'm going to need 818 00:17:55,410 --> 00:17:56,610 your help on something. 819 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,010 I think we should 820 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,010 go to work. 821 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,110 But not now. 822 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,110 We're having dinner. 823 00:18:00,850 --> 00:18:02,110 Damn, this paella is good. 824 00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:03,750 Did you put saffron in here? 825 00:18:03,820 --> 00:18:05,550 It makes the shellfish 826 00:18:03,820 --> 00:18:05,550 taste delicious. 827 00:18:06,890 --> 00:18:08,920 Yes. Yes, it does. 828 00:18:10,660 --> 00:18:12,130 Okay. The people in this room 829 00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:15,060 are the first members 830 00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:15,060 of the Pawnee-Eagleton 831 00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:15,060 Youth Committee. 832 00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:18,760 Now, April says that 833 00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:18,760 young people think 834 00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:18,760 the word "committee" is lame. 835 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:20,270 So, let's just 836 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:20,270 think of this as 837 00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:22,600 like a super-chill, 838 00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:22,600 fun e-hangout. 839 00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:24,270 Worse. That's worse. 840 00:18:24,340 --> 00:18:26,640 Okay, new people, 841 00:18:24,340 --> 00:18:26,640 let's introduce ourselves. 842 00:18:26,780 --> 00:18:28,710 Craig Middlebrooks. 843 00:18:26,780 --> 00:18:28,710 Samantha in the boardroom, 844 00:18:28,780 --> 00:18:32,150 Miranda in the bedroom. 845 00:18:28,780 --> 00:18:32,150 I know it's not ideal, 846 00:18:28,780 --> 00:18:32,150 but it's who I am! 847 00:18:32,950 --> 00:18:36,780 This is my friend, Madison. 848 00:18:32,950 --> 00:18:36,780 She's amazing and 849 00:18:32,950 --> 00:18:36,780 she drove me here! 850 00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:41,120 Okay. This group 851 00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:41,120 has an incredibly 852 00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:41,120 important job. 853 00:18:41,190 --> 00:18:44,630 You need to figure 854 00:18:41,190 --> 00:18:44,630 out how to hold 855 00:18:41,190 --> 00:18:44,630 this town together. 856 00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,420 You are going to 857 00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,420 meet twice a week, 858 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,830 and you're here because 859 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,830 of your energy and your youth, 860 00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:50,460 and for some of you, 861 00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:50,460 your mental age. 862 00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:53,160 And you're going to find 863 00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:53,160 a way to make 864 00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:53,160 this merger stick. 865 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:56,870 So, we are going to 866 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:56,870 order you some 'zas. 867 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:56,870 You get to B-S-ing. 868 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,030 Brainstorming. 869 00:18:58,110 --> 00:18:59,870 Just chill. Peace out. 870 00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,280 Okay. So, it's been an hour. 871 00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:05,540 From out there, 872 00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:05,540 it looks like you guys 873 00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:05,540 were having some fun 874 00:19:05,620 --> 00:19:06,670 getting to know 875 00:19:05,620 --> 00:19:06,670 each other. 876 00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:08,840 So, why don't we 877 00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:08,840 call this first 878 00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:08,840 meeting a success 879 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,680 and then we'll get 880 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,680 together later in the week? 881 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,480 Hold up, sweet pea. 882 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,480 We have an idea. 883 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,390 It's called the 884 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,390 Unity Concert. 885 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,820 It's a massive 886 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,820 music and art festival 887 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,820 to celebrate the merger. 888 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,860 We get artists and 889 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,860 musicians from both towns 890 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,860 to come together. 891 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,430 It's going to be 892 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,430 like a giant Woodstock 893 00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:24,430 except for, 894 00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:24,430 instead of everybody 895 00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:24,430 rolling around in mud, 896 00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:26,130 they'll be rolling 897 00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:26,130 around in happiness. 898 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,140 Or maybe mud, 899 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,140 I can't control the weather. 900 00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:30,170 We want to have 901 00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:30,170 a bunch of different band 902 00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:30,170 stages. 903 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,330 You know, 904 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,330 people will go to 905 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:32,930 parts of the town they 906 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:32,930 don't usually go to. 907 00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:35,770 Plus, we'll have tents 908 00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:35,770 for art exhibits and panels 909 00:19:35,850 --> 00:19:37,280 and maybe 910 00:19:35,850 --> 00:19:37,280 a short film festival. 911 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,350 Donna said 912 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,350 she might be able 913 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,350 to get Ginuwine. 914 00:19:39,550 --> 00:19:40,850 That's given me 915 00:19:39,550 --> 00:19:40,850 a reason to live. 916 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,920 Yeah, it's not like 917 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,920 everyone's gonna suddenly 918 00:19:42,990 --> 00:19:44,450 start holding 919 00:19:42,990 --> 00:19:44,450 hands and making out, 920 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:47,890 but we figure why 921 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:47,890 not throw a big 922 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:47,890 three-day outdoor party, 923 00:19:48,060 --> 00:19:50,030 show everyone 924 00:19:48,060 --> 00:19:50,030 a good time and maybe 925 00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:51,620 they'll forget 926 00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:51,620 about this stupid stuff. 927 00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:53,290 What do you think? 928 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,760 I don't... 929 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,760 I don't even... 930 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,520 You know what I mean? 931 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,520 What's 932 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,520 wrong with her? 933 00:19:57,670 --> 00:19:59,360 Why is she 934 00:19:57,670 --> 00:19:59,360 making those noises? 935 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,840 Oh. 936 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,840 Oh, right, 937 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,840 you don't know Leslie. 938 00:20:02,010 --> 00:20:04,840 That means that 939 00:20:02,010 --> 00:20:04,840 she loves it so much, 940 00:20:02,010 --> 00:20:04,840 she can't speak. 941 00:20:04,910 --> 00:20:08,280 I love you guys. 942 00:20:04,910 --> 00:20:08,280 That's like, 943 00:20:04,910 --> 00:20:08,280 you guys are amazing. 944 00:20:08,380 --> 00:20:10,350 Like what you're doing here. 945 00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:13,520 Happy anniversary. 946 00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:13,520 So, I know we agreed 947 00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:13,520 on no gifts. 948 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,310 What? 949 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,310 But I did get you a gift. 950 00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:16,510 No... 951 00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:16,510 A bunch of them, actually. 952 00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:17,920 I was going to 953 00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:17,920 surprise you with them 954 00:20:17,990 --> 00:20:20,290 yesterday, 955 00:20:17,990 --> 00:20:20,290 but they never reached you. 956 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:26,350 Oh, my effing God. 957 00:20:26,530 --> 00:20:30,730 You planned 958 00:20:26,530 --> 00:20:30,730 all this for me? 959 00:20:26,530 --> 00:20:30,730 An Enchanted carriage? 960 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,290 This is amazing! 961 00:20:32,370 --> 00:20:35,670 Aw! And your scrapbook 962 00:20:32,370 --> 00:20:35,670 instincts are really good. 963 00:20:35,810 --> 00:20:38,670 This is a little rough, 964 00:20:35,810 --> 00:20:38,670 but you have 965 00:20:35,810 --> 00:20:38,670 a lot of talent here. 966 00:20:38,740 --> 00:20:40,330 Oh, I can't believe 967 00:20:38,740 --> 00:20:40,330 I actually defeated 968 00:20:40,410 --> 00:20:42,680 Leslie Knope in 969 00:20:40,410 --> 00:20:42,680 a gift exchange. Yes. 970 00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:45,710 Ah. Yeah, about that. 971 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,380 Happy anniversary. 972 00:20:52,620 --> 00:20:55,590 It's the Iron Throne. 973 00:20:55,690 --> 00:20:59,820 Yes, it is. 974 00:20:55,690 --> 00:20:59,820 I had a guy at the model 975 00:20:55,690 --> 00:20:59,820 store make a replica. 976 00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:01,890 He's a bigger 977 00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:01,890 Game of Thrones fan 978 00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:01,890 than you are. 979 00:21:03,900 --> 00:21:06,340 Okay, I know I'm making 980 00:21:03,900 --> 00:21:06,340 that dumb surprised face, 981 00:21:03,900 --> 00:21:06,340 but I can't help it. 982 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,960 This is the greatest gift 983 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,960 I've ever received, Leslie. 984 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,470 When you play 985 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,470 the game of thrones, 986 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,470 you win or you die. 987 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:14,840 Yes. No. 988 00:21:15,380 --> 00:21:17,400 Yes. No. 989 00:21:17,780 --> 00:21:19,770 Come here. Come hither, 990 00:21:17,780 --> 00:21:19,770 peasant. Come here. 991 00:21:20,050 --> 00:21:21,240 Who are you? 992 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:22,440 Our starship 993 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:22,440 is in trouble. 994 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,420 Okay. Leslie, 995 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,420 listen. If you're not... 996 00:21:24,490 --> 00:21:25,720 If you don't know what 997 00:21:24,490 --> 00:21:25,720 you're talking about...