1
00:00:03,624 --> 00:00:06,536
Aw, babe, you've gone crazy.
2
00:00:06,656 --> 00:00:08,056
The only thing I am crazy about
3
00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:11,660
is a magnificent, pregnant
manta ray named Ann Perkins.
4
00:00:11,694 --> 00:00:13,428
I am ranking
topics of conversation
5
00:00:13,463 --> 00:00:14,663
for our next phone call.
6
00:00:14,697 --> 00:00:16,231
The worst part
about your best friend
7
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:18,834
living in another stupid state
is the topics really pile up.
8
00:00:18,868 --> 00:00:20,836
What do you think
should be higher priority?
9
00:00:20,870 --> 00:00:22,271
Infinity scarves
10
00:00:22,305 --> 00:00:24,006
or whether or not it's worth it
for me to get Showtime?
11
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:25,807
Is this really necessary?
12
00:00:25,842 --> 00:00:27,442
When she moved,
we promised each other
13
00:00:27,477 --> 00:00:29,778
that we would talk every day,
and we've really fallen behind.
14
00:00:29,812 --> 00:00:31,980
I know your female friends
are very important to you,
15
00:00:32,015 --> 00:00:34,449
but I'm always
a good sounding board.
16
00:00:34,484 --> 00:00:38,987
I mean, I can talk about
Sandra Bullock skirt length.
17
00:00:39,022 --> 00:00:41,056
No, no, babe, you can't--you
would just embarrass yourself.
18
00:00:41,090 --> 00:00:42,724
Plus, every time
I start talking to you,
19
00:00:42,759 --> 00:00:44,560
five seconds later,
I want to jump your bones.
20
00:00:44,594 --> 00:00:45,961
Oh, let's do that instead.
21
00:00:45,995 --> 00:00:49,932
See, that's what
I'm talking about.
22
00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:51,199
- Yeah, okay, let's do this. Okay.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23
00:00:54,237 --> 00:01:02,244
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
24
00:01:11,421 --> 00:01:13,222
On to the unity concert.
25
00:01:13,256 --> 00:01:16,992
Ben is meeting with the tent
people to finalize those deals.
26
00:01:17,026 --> 00:01:18,894
April and Donna
will be helping me
27
00:01:18,928 --> 00:01:20,229
with the vendor location charts,
and I will be meeting
28
00:01:20,263 --> 00:01:22,531
with the surveyors
about the concert grounds.
29
00:01:22,565 --> 00:01:25,667
I would like to volunteer
to do the park survey myself.
30
00:01:25,702 --> 00:01:26,668
Wow, Ron.
31
00:01:26,703 --> 00:01:28,437
I always knew there would be
32
00:01:28,471 --> 00:01:29,938
a day when I would
get through to you
33
00:01:29,973 --> 00:01:32,207
and you would love
government work.
34
00:01:32,242 --> 00:01:33,775
Today is that historic day.
35
00:01:33,810 --> 00:01:37,012
Yes.
That is what has happened.
36
00:01:37,046 --> 00:01:40,716
Spending the day outside alone
sounds like a dream.
37
00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:44,386
I love being a father, but there
are a few things I miss.
38
00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:47,656
Silence, the absence of noise,
39
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:50,559
one single moment
undisturbed by the sounds
40
00:01:50,593 --> 00:01:54,930
of a children's TV program
called Doc McStuffins.
41
00:01:54,964 --> 00:01:57,633
There is no quiet anymore.
42
00:01:57,667 --> 00:02:00,903
There is only Doc McStuffins.
43
00:02:00,937 --> 00:02:02,271
Sorry I'm late.
44
00:02:02,305 --> 00:02:04,506
Uh, Andy, why don't you go
with Ron and help him?
45
00:02:04,540 --> 00:02:06,074
- I really don't need--
- Shotgun!
46
00:02:06,109 --> 00:02:08,744
I call shotgun. Where are we
going? Doesn't matter. Shotgun.
47
00:02:08,778 --> 00:02:10,045
Shotgun on all rides
for the rest of the day.
48
00:02:10,079 --> 00:02:13,482
For the rest of my life.
In any car! Ha ha!
49
00:02:13,516 --> 00:02:15,250
I just faced you suckers!
50
00:02:15,285 --> 00:02:17,719
So I'll see you
in the parking lot, Ron. Later!
51
00:02:17,754 --> 00:02:20,222
Is the tent guy
left-handed or right-handed?
52
00:02:20,256 --> 00:02:21,690
I just need to know
which way to part my hair
53
00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:23,392
to get us a better price.
54
00:02:23,426 --> 00:02:24,927
It's a business theory
I'm working on.
55
00:02:24,961 --> 00:02:25,928
I really don't
think it matters.
56
00:02:25,962 --> 00:02:27,229
Pretty straightforward deal.
57
00:02:27,263 --> 00:02:28,931
A straightforward deal?
Why didn't you tell me?
58
00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:30,925
I don't have my straightforward
deal fedora on me.
59
00:02:30,934 --> 00:02:32,134
We gotta stop by my storage unit
on the way up.
60
00:02:32,168 --> 00:02:33,535
Hey, Larry.
61
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,305
Hey, you wanna come with us
to tent world? Little road trip?
62
00:02:36,339 --> 00:02:37,306
Tent world?
63
00:02:37,340 --> 00:02:39,741
Yeah, let me grab my lunch.
64
00:02:39,776 --> 00:02:41,510
No. Why'd you invite Larry?
65
00:02:41,544 --> 00:02:43,011
He's been doing
all the paperwork for this deal.
66
00:02:43,046 --> 00:02:44,446
He deserves to come.
67
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:47,349
Remember you said that
when Larry's farting up the car.
68
00:02:47,383 --> 00:02:49,284
Larry isn't that bad.
He's nice.
69
00:02:49,319 --> 00:02:51,687
And frankly, I don't care
who knows that I said that,
70
00:02:51,721 --> 00:02:55,123
as long as no one knows
that I said that.
71
00:02:55,158 --> 00:02:58,827
Okay, ladies, I will be in my
office for one to seven hours
72
00:02:58,861 --> 00:03:01,530
for my weekly chat with Ann.
I brought some fresh snacks.
73
00:03:01,564 --> 00:03:04,600
And I made a backup plan
for the vendor chart
74
00:03:04,634 --> 00:03:06,602
in case, you know,
yours isn't good.
75
00:03:06,636 --> 00:03:07,970
Actually, Ann called
while you were in the bathroom.
76
00:03:08,004 --> 00:03:09,964
She said something came up,
she'll call you later.
77
00:03:09,973 --> 00:03:11,173
I don't know, I told her
to leave you a voice mail.
78
00:03:11,207 --> 00:03:13,008
Ugh! God, why'd you
let me say all that?
79
00:03:13,042 --> 00:03:15,210
I'm coming, Ann's voice mail!
I'm coming!
80
00:03:15,245 --> 00:03:19,047
Listen to me very carefully.
I have not been taken.
81
00:03:19,082 --> 00:03:21,483
I know that's always your first
fear when I'm not available,
82
00:03:21,517 --> 00:03:24,052
but this is not
a Liam Neeson Taken scenario.
83
00:03:24,087 --> 00:03:26,054
That's exactly
what they'd make you say.
84
00:03:26,089 --> 00:03:28,023
Also, no one's
making me say this.
85
00:03:28,057 --> 00:03:30,692
I am a free woman, untaken,
simply going about my business.
86
00:03:30,727 --> 00:03:33,128
I just have to run.
Something came up.
87
00:03:33,163 --> 00:03:34,730
I love you,
and I'll call you later.
88
00:03:34,764 --> 00:03:37,232
Donna.
89
00:03:37,267 --> 00:03:38,233
What's good, baby?
90
00:03:38,268 --> 00:03:40,202
What's going down in Donna town?
91
00:03:40,236 --> 00:03:42,838
What's the haps
in Meagle-wood?
92
00:03:42,872 --> 00:03:44,539
I'm listening
to Jaleel Or No Deal.
93
00:03:44,574 --> 00:03:46,775
It's a podcast where
the kid who played Urkel
94
00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:48,410
reviews old
Deal Or No Deal episodes.
95
00:03:48,444 --> 00:03:49,545
It's pointless, and I love it.
96
00:03:49,579 --> 00:03:50,846
Okay, don't let me interrupt.
97
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:52,881
April, what's the 411,
little mama?
98
00:03:52,916 --> 00:03:55,083
What's the hot goss?
Who you crushing on these days?
99
00:03:55,118 --> 00:03:57,052
Ew, my husband, weirdo.
100
00:03:57,086 --> 00:03:58,921
Can I get back to work now?
Thanks. Bye.
101
00:03:58,955 --> 00:04:01,790
Work? You can work whenever.
102
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:05,394
Except for now,
because now is lady time.
103
00:04:05,428 --> 00:04:07,062
You sound like
a tampon commercial.
104
00:04:07,096 --> 00:04:09,531
I'm setting up
an impromptu Galentine's day.
105
00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:11,100
- Really?
- Yeah.
106
00:04:11,134 --> 00:04:13,335
Wait, I thought you weren't
gonna do Galentine's day
107
00:04:13,369 --> 00:04:15,704
this year because
that she-beast moved away.
108
00:04:15,738 --> 00:04:17,773
I believe her name was Satan?
109
00:04:17,807 --> 00:04:19,942
Her name is Ann,
and she is gone,
110
00:04:19,976 --> 00:04:22,477
and I have accepted it, and we
are gonna have Galentine's day.
111
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:23,512
Ladies, up front.
112
00:04:23,546 --> 00:04:25,914
I need an Ann
who lives in Pawnee,
113
00:04:25,949 --> 00:04:28,183
and there is no
one obvious candidate,
114
00:04:28,218 --> 00:04:31,620
so I will test them out
on the ultimate battlefield
115
00:04:31,654 --> 00:04:34,857
of female friendship--
Galentine's day brunch.
116
00:04:34,891 --> 00:04:37,793
It will be a women's-only
marathon bonding session
117
00:04:37,827 --> 00:04:39,461
with tons of whipped cream.
118
00:04:39,495 --> 00:04:42,097
Side note,
do not Google that phrase.
119
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,635
Hey, Ron.
120
00:04:46,669 --> 00:04:48,637
Can I ask you
kind of an important question?
121
00:04:48,671 --> 00:04:51,206
You know, like,
when you go to the ATM
122
00:04:51,241 --> 00:04:54,309
and you get money,
is there an actual guy
123
00:04:54,344 --> 00:04:56,945
standing behind the wall who
slides dollar bills in there?
124
00:04:56,980 --> 00:04:58,947
- No.
- Yeah.
125
00:04:58,982 --> 00:05:00,382
It's robots.
126
00:05:00,416 --> 00:05:02,651
Oh, actually, you know what?
I do have a serious question.
127
00:05:02,685 --> 00:05:03,986
In the movie Predator,
128
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:07,356
can you rub any kind
of mud on yourself
129
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,491
to prevent predator
from seeing you
130
00:05:09,525 --> 00:05:10,826
with his thermal
heat signature sight,
131
00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:12,160
or is it more--
132
00:05:12,195 --> 00:05:13,896
Ow!
That sucks.
133
00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:15,297
Are you hurt?
134
00:05:15,331 --> 00:05:19,434
No. All good. All good.
135
00:05:19,469 --> 00:05:23,205
Oops. Except for my mouth.
136
00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:26,675
Oh, whoa.
Five-second rule.
137
00:05:26,709 --> 00:05:27,943
No, ahh.
138
00:05:27,977 --> 00:05:32,314
Come on, we better
get you to a dentist.
139
00:05:32,348 --> 00:05:36,018
Oh, my God, Larry. Your tuna
fish sandwich stunk up my suit.
140
00:05:36,052 --> 00:05:37,719
- Gayle made it for me.
- Irrelevant.
141
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:40,122
You know what? Stay out here and
double-check these deal memos.
142
00:05:40,156 --> 00:05:41,623
If you get through 'em,
triple-check 'em.
143
00:05:41,658 --> 00:05:43,358
Just don't come inside.
144
00:05:43,393 --> 00:05:46,495
Sounds good. I will finish
my sandwich and enjoy the view.
145
00:05:48,898 --> 00:05:49,865
Hey, Harvey.
146
00:05:49,899 --> 00:05:51,733
Ben Wyatt.
We spoke on the phone.
147
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:54,369
Yeah. Yeah, we sure did. Okay.
148
00:05:54,404 --> 00:05:55,504
Who's this little genie
right here?
149
00:05:55,538 --> 00:05:57,339
Tom Haverford,
Pawnee business liaison.
150
00:05:57,373 --> 00:05:58,907
Okay.
151
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:01,310
Got your contracts
for you right here.
152
00:06:01,344 --> 00:06:04,813
Wow. It's a lot thicker than
the original one-page version.
153
00:06:04,848 --> 00:06:07,249
I take tents pretty seriously,
Ben, I'm a tent guy.
154
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:10,786
I got over 1,300 tents
in this warehouse alone.
155
00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:13,155
900 of those are
over 2,000 square feet,
156
00:06:13,189 --> 00:06:14,656
80 of 'em are striped,
157
00:06:14,691 --> 00:06:18,227
and exactly 4 of 'em were
once rented by Miss Rene Russo.
158
00:06:18,261 --> 00:06:20,162
- Whoa!
- Yeah. No doy.
159
00:06:20,196 --> 00:06:22,564
I think I know what I'm doing.
160
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:25,000
So I added a few syllables
and whatnot.
161
00:06:25,034 --> 00:06:27,703
Clauses, et cetera.
Addendums, what have you.
162
00:06:27,737 --> 00:06:29,171
Why don't we go ahead
and sign that for me?
163
00:06:29,205 --> 00:06:32,674
Yeah, I think we're gonna
need to take a look at this.
164
00:06:32,709 --> 00:06:36,778
Hmm. So I guess this is not
a straightforward deal.
165
00:06:39,415 --> 00:06:41,683
Shauna, I'm so glad
you could make it.
166
00:06:41,718 --> 00:06:43,085
You're so tan.
167
00:06:43,119 --> 00:06:46,188
Oh, thanks. I just got back
from a solo trip to Rome.
168
00:06:46,222 --> 00:06:48,624
I was gonna go with my
boyfriend, but he couldn't come
169
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:51,193
because he decided
to stay with his wife.
170
00:06:51,227 --> 00:06:52,528
Oof.
171
00:06:52,562 --> 00:06:55,364
I love Rome.
It's such a great place.
172
00:06:55,398 --> 00:06:58,200
Rome's played out.
Have y'all been to Kuala Lumpur?
173
00:06:58,234 --> 00:07:00,736
- When did you go to Asia?
- I go all the time.
174
00:07:00,770 --> 00:07:02,237
Where do you think I got
175
00:07:02,272 --> 00:07:03,405
that crystal Buddha head
above my jacuzzi?
176
00:07:03,439 --> 00:07:05,808
You have a jacuzzi?
Good to know.
177
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,282
Prospects
for new Pawnee best friend.
178
00:07:07,310 --> 00:07:10,212
Donna Meagle. Confident,
worldly, we go way back.
179
00:07:10,246 --> 00:07:13,549
April Ludgate. Vivid
imagination, young, and vibrant.
180
00:07:13,583 --> 00:07:14,783
Shauna Malwae-Tweep.
181
00:07:14,818 --> 00:07:16,585
Pretty, fragile,
makes terrible life decisions.
182
00:07:16,619 --> 00:07:18,320
A real fixer-upper, but look,
183
00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:20,122
it's not like Ann was doing
so hot when I met her.
184
00:07:20,156 --> 00:07:22,391
Ethel Beavers.
Bit of a dark horse.
185
00:07:22,425 --> 00:07:23,659
Crotchety, but probably wise.
186
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:26,828
And then we got Evelyn,
aka fake Ann.
187
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:29,932
I don't know her last name.
Honestly we just needed bodies.
188
00:07:29,966 --> 00:07:31,967
Thank you, everyone, for getting
together on such short notice,
189
00:07:32,001 --> 00:07:34,603
and happy Galentine's day.
190
00:07:34,637 --> 00:07:36,405
Now, this is not technically
the right date,
191
00:07:36,439 --> 00:07:39,741
but any time a group of women
get together for brunch,
192
00:07:39,776 --> 00:07:41,844
we embody the spirit
of the holiday.
193
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,345
Today we will
celebrate friendship,
194
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:45,113
spend a few hours together,
195
00:07:45,148 --> 00:07:47,349
and answer a couple
of questions I've compiled.
196
00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:49,184
Just for fun.
Nothing serious.
197
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,120
But please answer them
with complete honesty
198
00:07:51,154 --> 00:07:52,487
'cause I'll be able
to tell if you're lying.
199
00:07:52,522 --> 00:07:53,856
- To girlfriends!
- Yay.
200
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,692
- Girlfriends.
- Whoo-hoo!
201
00:07:56,756 --> 00:07:59,941
Okay, it's time for
a little Galentine's day Q&A.
202
00:08:00,061 --> 00:08:01,426
Donna, you pick first.
203
00:08:02,134 --> 00:08:05,202
"What is
your favorite TV show?"
204
00:08:05,771 --> 00:08:07,772
Well, for live tweeting,
it's Scandal.
205
00:08:07,806 --> 00:08:10,708
For binge watching,
it's Scandal.
206
00:08:10,742 --> 00:08:13,311
But for fashion,
it's actually Scandal.
207
00:08:13,345 --> 00:08:14,378
My answer is Scandal.
208
00:08:14,413 --> 00:08:15,580
Hmm. April?
209
00:08:15,614 --> 00:08:17,415
Ooh, I love watching
210
00:08:17,449 --> 00:08:20,218
Russian traffic accidents
on YouTube
211
00:08:20,252 --> 00:08:22,751
while I play children's music
at the wrong RPM.
212
00:08:22,871 --> 00:08:24,288
I like beauty pageants.
213
00:08:24,323 --> 00:08:26,991
Everyone is so happy
and perfect.
214
00:08:27,025 --> 00:08:31,395
I like Diagnosis Murder.
And skin flicks.
215
00:08:31,430 --> 00:08:33,506
Can anybody top me off?
216
00:08:33,626 --> 00:08:35,934
The correct answer
for favorite TV show
217
00:08:36,054 --> 00:08:37,835
is Friday Night Lights.
218
00:08:37,870 --> 00:08:40,138
- The correct answer?
- Next question.
219
00:08:40,172 --> 00:08:42,440
Okay, this contract is insane.
220
00:08:42,474 --> 00:08:46,010
It costs extra to have people
inside the tents?
221
00:08:46,044 --> 00:08:47,912
And what's a flap tax?
222
00:08:47,946 --> 00:08:49,313
Well, you need flaps, bro.
223
00:08:49,348 --> 00:08:51,249
A tent without flaps
is basically a parachute.
224
00:08:51,283 --> 00:08:53,050
An unfolding charge?
225
00:08:53,085 --> 00:08:55,319
A noise damage waiver?
How can noise damage tents?
226
00:08:55,354 --> 00:08:57,989
Shh. Keep your voice down,
please, there's tents here.
227
00:08:58,023 --> 00:09:01,325
Now, look, you can argue
with me all you want,
228
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:04,028
but for every line item that
you two idiots disagree with,
229
00:09:04,062 --> 00:09:06,464
there's gonna be
a $50 discussion surcharge.
230
00:09:06,498 --> 00:09:07,465
What are we up to, doll?
231
00:09:07,499 --> 00:09:08,699
$400.
232
00:09:08,734 --> 00:09:10,868
A discussion surcharge?
That's nuts.
233
00:09:10,903 --> 00:09:12,470
$450.
234
00:09:12,504 --> 00:09:13,504
That's it. Deal's off.
235
00:09:13,539 --> 00:09:15,006
We'll take our business
elsewhere.
236
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,642
Suit yourself, gentlemen.
Sorry we couldn't make a deal.
237
00:09:19,511 --> 00:09:23,714
Wait, wait.
Let me try one more thing.
238
00:09:23,749 --> 00:09:25,383
What's the price now?
239
00:09:25,417 --> 00:09:29,821
$80 more.
I liked it better the other way.
240
00:09:29,855 --> 00:09:32,890
Does have an effect, though.
241
00:09:32,925 --> 00:09:34,325
The receptionist says
she'll fit you in
242
00:09:34,359 --> 00:09:35,993
as soon as there's an opening.
243
00:09:36,028 --> 00:09:38,463
If you're all right,
I'm gonna head back to the park.
244
00:09:38,497 --> 00:09:40,231
Wait, wait, wait,
real quick, real quick.
245
00:09:40,265 --> 00:09:42,733
Do you know what
my social security number is?
246
00:09:42,768 --> 00:09:45,336
Or if I'm allergic to anything?
247
00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:47,405
I don't like corn.
Should I put that down?
248
00:09:47,439 --> 00:09:52,076
Or will that be confusing?
Because I do like candy corn.
249
00:09:52,111 --> 00:09:55,146
Oh, Ron. What a mess.
250
00:09:57,282 --> 00:09:58,883
Here, let me help you.
251
00:09:58,917 --> 00:10:00,918
All I wanted was two hours
252
00:10:00,953 --> 00:10:03,521
where I got to forget
that I was a parent.
253
00:10:03,555 --> 00:10:07,525
Ron, look.
I found all three differences.
254
00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:09,961
Those are two
completely different pictures.
255
00:10:11,730 --> 00:10:13,865
- "Ladies' choice."
- Ooh! Wild card option.
256
00:10:13,899 --> 00:10:14,866
Okay, anybody reveal anything
about their life,
257
00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:16,067
anything at all.
258
00:10:16,101 --> 00:10:18,536
I've gotten two annulments.
259
00:10:18,570 --> 00:10:20,238
One for pleasure, and one
260
00:10:20,272 --> 00:10:23,608
to cap off a long con I was
running against Keith Sweat.
261
00:10:23,642 --> 00:10:24,609
Wow. Ethel, have you--
262
00:10:24,643 --> 00:10:26,611
Okay, Ethel's asleep.
Shauna?
263
00:10:26,645 --> 00:10:29,313
I'm writing a memoir
based on my blog.
264
00:10:29,348 --> 00:10:30,948
It's called
Tweeping Up Appearances,
265
00:10:30,983 --> 00:10:33,551
and it's about my journey
to find happiness
266
00:10:33,585 --> 00:10:35,419
by smiling through the pain.
267
00:10:35,454 --> 00:10:36,921
Okay, I can work with that.
268
00:10:36,955 --> 00:10:39,724
Knope, what you got
going on in that notebook?
269
00:10:39,758 --> 00:10:42,794
Just jotting down memories
in my trusty old journal.
270
00:10:42,828 --> 00:10:45,797
"Friendship rankings."
What's that?
271
00:10:45,831 --> 00:10:47,098
It's not what it sounds like.
272
00:10:47,132 --> 00:10:48,466
It's simply a way
for me to figure out
273
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:51,068
which one of you is the best.
274
00:10:51,103 --> 00:10:52,270
That's messed up.
275
00:10:52,304 --> 00:10:54,939
Yeah, that is really lame,
and I'm leaving.
276
00:10:54,973 --> 00:10:56,307
You're better than that, Knope.
277
00:10:56,341 --> 00:10:58,543
Donna, why are you angry?
You were in first place.
278
00:10:58,577 --> 00:11:03,047
Bye, everyone.
This was a really...
279
00:11:03,081 --> 00:11:05,082
brunch.
Leave the bag.
280
00:11:05,117 --> 00:11:09,253
If you do this
again next year, don't call me.
281
00:11:10,422 --> 00:11:12,290
Well, by default, it's Shauna.
282
00:11:12,324 --> 00:11:14,725
That's how you want to find
your new best friend, right?
283
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,428
By default?
284
00:11:17,463 --> 00:11:20,465
My pores are clogged up from
being in that dusty warehouse.
285
00:11:20,499 --> 00:11:24,068
I'm gonna check if this gas
station has some biore strips.
286
00:11:24,103 --> 00:11:26,738
Aw, thanks, Larry,
that's nice of you.
287
00:11:26,772 --> 00:11:28,339
Gayle always has me
do the windshield.
288
00:11:28,373 --> 00:11:30,408
She likes to stand
behind me and watch.
289
00:11:30,442 --> 00:11:33,845
According to her,
it's the best view.
290
00:11:33,879 --> 00:11:37,415
- How is Gayle?
- Oh, wonderful.
291
00:11:37,449 --> 00:11:40,918
- And the girls?
- They're good.
292
00:11:40,953 --> 00:11:43,521
- Why do you want to know?
- I'm genuinely interested.
293
00:11:43,555 --> 00:11:44,989
I'm sorry.
294
00:11:45,023 --> 00:11:48,659
I'm just not used to people from
the office asking me things.
295
00:11:48,694 --> 00:11:51,262
It's kind of scary.
But in a good way, though.
296
00:11:52,831 --> 00:11:55,533
Aw, man,
did I miss a Larry fart?
297
00:11:55,567 --> 00:11:57,168
Oh, no, uh, we were just--
298
00:11:57,202 --> 00:12:00,037
Yeah, Tom.
Yeah, I-I really ripped one.
299
00:12:00,072 --> 00:12:03,107
Didn't I, Ben?
300
00:12:03,142 --> 00:12:05,610
Yeah.
Yeah, it was loud.
301
00:12:05,644 --> 00:12:08,279
Smells like a hippopotamus
took a dump on a skunk.
302
00:12:09,381 --> 00:12:12,784
It's in your best interest.
303
00:12:12,818 --> 00:12:17,722
Well, the numbers don't lie.
I'm a goofus, not a gallant.
304
00:12:19,892 --> 00:12:22,226
Been here forever.
Can we go?
305
00:12:22,261 --> 00:12:24,662
Don't you want
to get your tooth fixed?
306
00:12:24,696 --> 00:12:27,732
I don't know, I think my tooth
looks fine just like this.
307
00:12:27,766 --> 00:12:30,368
Well, my grandmother
was missing that tooth,
308
00:12:30,402 --> 00:12:35,206
and she was the most beautiful
woman on her oil rig.
309
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:38,342
You are an adult.
I am not your dad.
310
00:12:38,377 --> 00:12:42,213
- If you want to go, we can go.
- Yay. Thanks, Ron.
311
00:12:42,247 --> 00:12:44,982
That's why you know even though
you're not my dad,
312
00:12:45,017 --> 00:12:46,717
you're like
an old brother to me.
313
00:12:46,752 --> 00:12:51,255
Like a cool uncle, but old.
Like a grandpa.
314
00:12:51,290 --> 00:12:53,691
But cool like a son.
315
00:12:56,811 --> 00:12:58,172
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
316
00:12:58,197 --> 00:12:59,163
No problem.
317
00:12:59,198 --> 00:13:00,565
That'll be $8, please.
318
00:13:00,599 --> 00:13:02,533
What, you're charging us
for coffee?
319
00:13:02,568 --> 00:13:04,735
What kind of a business--
uh-oh.
320
00:13:04,770 --> 00:13:05,937
Oh, hello, gentlemen.
321
00:13:05,971 --> 00:13:08,673
Gotta be kidding me.
You own this place too?
322
00:13:08,707 --> 00:13:10,875
That's right, dickweed.
You wanna talk deal?
323
00:13:10,909 --> 00:13:12,376
Because my prices have gone up
324
00:13:12,411 --> 00:13:15,012
ever so slightly
since I saw you last.
325
00:13:15,047 --> 00:13:16,547
No, we're not giving in
to your crazy demands.
326
00:13:16,582 --> 00:13:18,383
There are plenty of other
tent rental places
327
00:13:18,417 --> 00:13:19,851
within driving distance.
328
00:13:19,885 --> 00:13:21,719
Yeah, I'm calling
Tent Emporium right now.
329
00:13:21,753 --> 00:13:23,254
Tent Emporium.
330
00:13:23,288 --> 00:13:24,722
How can I help you, buttface?
331
00:13:24,757 --> 00:13:26,290
- What?
- Come on.
332
00:13:26,325 --> 00:13:27,892
Yes.
333
00:13:27,926 --> 00:13:29,694
I own every tent store
in Southern Indiana.
334
00:13:29,728 --> 00:13:32,296
Tent Town, Rent Ten Tents,
the Tent Offensive,
335
00:13:32,331 --> 00:13:34,532
and Ace Tentura Tent Detective.
336
00:13:34,566 --> 00:13:36,167
I also own a chick-fil-a
franchise,
337
00:13:36,201 --> 00:13:37,969
but that's not doing
so hot right now. Whatever.
338
00:13:38,003 --> 00:13:40,371
Let's get outta here.
339
00:13:40,405 --> 00:13:43,941
You've reached the Tentagon.
How can I help you, buttface?
340
00:13:43,976 --> 00:13:45,977
Okay, here's an idea.
Why don't we find something,
341
00:13:46,011 --> 00:13:49,113
anything, no matter how small,
that we have in common?
342
00:13:49,148 --> 00:13:50,815
For example, I'm an only child.
343
00:13:50,849 --> 00:13:51,816
Me too.
344
00:13:51,850 --> 00:13:53,317
Although, when I was in college
345
00:13:53,352 --> 00:13:55,553
I found out that my dad
had a second family.
346
00:13:55,587 --> 00:13:58,456
Well, we were the second family,
technically.
347
00:13:58,490 --> 00:14:00,391
Okay, well,
we both went to college.
348
00:14:00,426 --> 00:14:01,726
- There's that.
- Yeah.
349
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,861
Oh, my God!
350
00:14:03,896 --> 00:14:05,930
Ann had her baby!
Wow, this has been fun.
351
00:14:05,964 --> 00:14:07,398
The bill is already paid.
352
00:14:07,433 --> 00:14:10,935
May I gently suggest that you
check out Chris Traeger's
353
00:14:10,969 --> 00:14:13,571
wonderful therapist
Dr. Richard Nygard.
354
00:14:13,605 --> 00:14:15,339
Although there is a tiny
part of me that always thought
355
00:14:15,374 --> 00:14:16,574
it was just Chris
talking into a mirror.
356
00:14:16,608 --> 00:14:18,209
Anyway, maybe you should
look him up.
357
00:14:18,243 --> 00:14:19,564
I don't know,
I read a book once
358
00:14:19,578 --> 00:14:21,245
that said a woman should never
make the first move.
359
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,314
That doesn't apply to therapy.
Okay. Good luck!
360
00:14:25,737 --> 00:14:28,572
Oliver Perkins-Traeger,
meet your Aunt Leslie.
361
00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:32,910
Hey! Oh, he's so beautiful.
And you're so beautiful.
362
00:14:32,944 --> 00:14:35,079
I mean, you're always beautiful,
but right now you are
363
00:14:35,113 --> 00:14:37,348
the most beautiful,
glowing sun goddess ever.
364
00:14:37,382 --> 00:14:39,516
Why didn't you tell me
you were in labor?
365
00:14:39,551 --> 00:14:41,685
Well, 'cause I knew you'd
drop everything and rush here,
366
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,020
and contractions
can sometimes go for days.
367
00:14:43,054 --> 00:14:44,355
Thank you.
368
00:14:44,389 --> 00:14:46,490
So I didn't want you to be
stuck waiting around.
369
00:14:46,524 --> 00:14:48,492
Well, I'm glad I'm here now.
Where's Chris?
370
00:14:48,526 --> 00:14:50,594
Oh, he was such a good coach
that the nurses asked him
371
00:14:50,629 --> 00:14:53,264
to help out with a delivery
down the hall.
372
00:14:53,298 --> 00:14:54,465
Ow.
373
00:14:54,499 --> 00:14:57,034
Ow.
374
00:14:57,068 --> 00:14:58,335
Ow!
375
00:14:58,370 --> 00:15:01,005
Andrew, you need
to get your tooth fixed.
376
00:15:01,039 --> 00:15:02,573
No way.
I'm not going back there.
377
00:15:02,607 --> 00:15:03,874
I already won
all the magazine mazes.
378
00:15:03,909 --> 00:15:06,343
Don't worry.
It's gonna be fine.
379
00:15:06,378 --> 00:15:07,645
Ow!
380
00:15:07,679 --> 00:15:08,646
If you don't
take care of the problem now,
381
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:09,914
it's only gonna get worse.
382
00:15:09,948 --> 00:15:12,783
- Come on. I'll drive you back.
- Fine.
383
00:15:12,817 --> 00:15:14,685
Let me just wolf down
this peanut brittle real quick.
384
00:15:16,421 --> 00:15:18,889
Why would you do that?
385
00:15:18,924 --> 00:15:20,724
Oh, right.
'Cause calories.
386
00:15:20,759 --> 00:15:22,226
We're dead.
387
00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:24,580
The only tent store this guy
doesn't own is 300 miles away.
388
00:15:24,596 --> 00:15:26,030
Oh, hang on.
Here's a place that might work.
389
00:15:26,064 --> 00:15:29,366
It's called
Sweaty Roger's Pants Tent.
390
00:15:29,401 --> 00:15:31,602
Oh, no, you can't
rent tents there.
391
00:15:31,636 --> 00:15:33,037
Hey, guys.
392
00:15:33,071 --> 00:15:35,839
Look, I was double-checking all
the paperwork that Tom gave me
393
00:15:35,874 --> 00:15:37,508
in that super fun parking lot,
394
00:15:37,542 --> 00:15:39,944
and there was something about
Harvey's corporate structure
395
00:15:39,978 --> 00:15:41,211
that just seemed fishy.
396
00:15:41,246 --> 00:15:42,913
So I dug around--
397
00:15:42,948 --> 00:15:47,918
and it turns out he has got
a lot of code violations.
398
00:15:47,953 --> 00:15:50,354
Whoa!
Larry, this is great stuff.
399
00:15:50,388 --> 00:15:51,855
Never thought I would say it,
400
00:15:51,890 --> 00:15:53,657
but I'm a genius for making you
401
00:15:53,692 --> 00:15:55,426
stay outside
and do a menial task.
402
00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:58,596
Couldn't agree more.
You did it, Tom.
403
00:15:58,630 --> 00:16:01,031
Mm, I don't want to drive back.
404
00:16:01,066 --> 00:16:02,232
I miss you so much.
405
00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:04,668
No one even comes
close to you as a friend.
406
00:16:04,703 --> 00:16:06,437
I even tried to rank
the women at work,
407
00:16:06,471 --> 00:16:09,273
- but that was a total bust.
- You ranked them?
408
00:16:09,307 --> 00:16:10,674
Well, I thought maybe I could
409
00:16:10,709 --> 00:16:12,276
use Galentine's day
as an opportunity--
410
00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:14,011
Leslie, Galentine's day?
411
00:16:14,045 --> 00:16:15,613
What do you want me to do, Ann?
412
00:16:15,647 --> 00:16:18,983
I need to find a replacement,
and don't worry, it didn't work.
413
00:16:19,017 --> 00:16:21,685
Nobody can match
your ethnic hybrid energy.
414
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:25,122
Everybody brings their own
unique strengths to the table.
415
00:16:25,157 --> 00:16:26,457
Some that even I don't have.
416
00:16:26,491 --> 00:16:29,059
You shut your mouth.
You have all the strengths.
417
00:16:29,094 --> 00:16:31,795
Look, you love harder
than anyone I know.
418
00:16:31,830 --> 00:16:33,364
It's tough to match.
419
00:16:33,398 --> 00:16:35,432
And I know Donna and April
don't show it,
420
00:16:35,467 --> 00:16:37,568
but they would
do anything for you.
421
00:16:37,602 --> 00:16:39,737
And it's not like you and I
always see eye to eye.
422
00:16:39,771 --> 00:16:41,739
I mean, Friday Night Lights?
423
00:16:41,773 --> 00:16:44,375
I am more of a Riggins girl,
and you lean Saracen.
424
00:16:44,409 --> 00:16:45,709
Yeah, 'cause Riggins
is a criminal.
425
00:16:45,744 --> 00:16:47,978
He took the fall
for his brother.
426
00:16:48,013 --> 00:16:49,580
Okay, he didn't
watch out for his brother.
427
00:16:49,614 --> 00:16:51,549
You know, I'm not having this
conversation with you again.
428
00:16:51,583 --> 00:16:52,650
That family is garbage.
429
00:16:52,684 --> 00:16:54,718
The point is we didn't
430
00:16:54,753 --> 00:16:58,088
always like the same stuff
when we first became friends.
431
00:16:58,123 --> 00:17:00,758
Just don't force it.
Give it some time.
432
00:17:00,792 --> 00:17:03,294
I know, you're right, Ann.
Thank you.
433
00:17:03,328 --> 00:17:04,962
It's just I'm missing you,
434
00:17:04,996 --> 00:17:07,364
and there's so much stuff
I want to talk to you about.
435
00:17:07,399 --> 00:17:10,000
Well, you're here now,
so let's talk.
436
00:17:10,035 --> 00:17:11,669
Oh.
437
00:17:11,703 --> 00:17:14,271
I think Oliver
has more pressing business.
438
00:17:14,306 --> 00:17:15,940
Okay, but we should talk soon,
439
00:17:15,974 --> 00:17:17,141
'cause I almost bought
a toe ring the other day.
440
00:17:17,175 --> 00:17:19,410
What?
Ann, you're somebody's mother.
441
00:17:19,444 --> 00:17:21,412
- I know.
- Okay.
442
00:17:21,446 --> 00:17:23,914
I'm gonna give
you two some time.
443
00:17:23,949 --> 00:17:26,016
I'll call you from the car.
444
00:17:26,051 --> 00:17:28,319
I'll be out here
if you need me.
445
00:17:28,353 --> 00:17:30,754
Thanks for doing this, Ron.
446
00:17:30,789 --> 00:17:32,256
When it's all said and done,
447
00:17:32,290 --> 00:17:33,624
there were a few mazes
I'd cheated on.
448
00:17:33,658 --> 00:17:38,229
Also, the inside of my mouth
is black and hot.
449
00:17:39,564 --> 00:17:43,334
So do I strip down to my
underwear, or all the way naked?
450
00:17:46,004 --> 00:17:47,571
Hello, Diane.
451
00:17:47,606 --> 00:17:52,276
I'm coming home soon to relieve
you, give you a little break.
452
00:17:52,310 --> 00:17:54,111
It's no trouble at all.
453
00:17:54,145 --> 00:17:56,380
I'm a parent.
I'm always on duty.
454
00:17:56,414 --> 00:18:00,050
What flavor ice cream
would you and the children like?
455
00:18:00,085 --> 00:18:02,553
I'm getting some for
a 30-year-old who works for me,
456
00:18:02,587 --> 00:18:05,289
so I can bring some home
for you too.
457
00:18:05,323 --> 00:18:06,557
Hello, Harvey.
458
00:18:06,591 --> 00:18:09,059
We found a glaring number
of code violations
459
00:18:09,094 --> 00:18:10,961
you've committed.
460
00:18:10,996 --> 00:18:12,963
I could see to it
that you never
461
00:18:12,998 --> 00:18:14,899
rent another tent
in this region again.
462
00:18:14,933 --> 00:18:17,768
Gentlemen, I've won two
463
00:18:17,802 --> 00:18:20,271
online satellite Jamaican
poker tournaments.
464
00:18:20,305 --> 00:18:21,639
I can tell that you're bluffing.
465
00:18:21,673 --> 00:18:23,474
Your Pawnee business license
has lapsed,
466
00:18:23,508 --> 00:18:25,543
which negates most of the deals
you've made this year.
467
00:18:25,577 --> 00:18:27,745
I'm guessing
you're pretty bad at poker.
468
00:18:27,779 --> 00:18:31,749
I am. And I was bluffing
about winning those tournaments.
469
00:18:31,783 --> 00:18:34,518
Gentlemen, clearly there's been
a misunderstanding here.
470
00:18:34,553 --> 00:18:37,187
I'm hoping that we can reach
some kind of a compromise.
471
00:18:37,222 --> 00:18:39,556
Yeah, first off, I need to know
472
00:18:39,591 --> 00:18:41,091
where you got these
zebra-print pillows.
473
00:18:41,126 --> 00:18:43,460
Second of all,
I got a Tin Cup Blu-Ray
474
00:18:43,495 --> 00:18:44,695
itching for
a Rene Russo signature.
475
00:18:44,729 --> 00:18:46,096
Tom.
476
00:18:46,131 --> 00:18:48,599
The compromise is that
you're gonna sign
477
00:18:48,633 --> 00:18:50,634
the deal we originally
agreed upon.
478
00:18:50,669 --> 00:18:53,204
We're going to let you
continue renting tents,
479
00:18:53,238 --> 00:18:55,072
and you're going to do it
at a fair price.
480
00:18:55,106 --> 00:18:57,641
And Larry, he's the guy
that brought you down,
481
00:18:57,676 --> 00:19:00,578
and he's gonna be
watching you like a hawk.
482
00:19:00,612 --> 00:19:01,912
Oh, hey.
483
00:19:01,947 --> 00:19:04,882
I'm Larry. Great to know you.
I love tent world.
484
00:19:04,916 --> 00:19:07,585
God! Can you just be cool
for one second?
485
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:12,723
Okay,
black coffee with extra grounds.
486
00:19:12,757 --> 00:19:14,291
Gross. For April.
487
00:19:14,326 --> 00:19:16,560
And a mocha ice blended
for Donna.
488
00:19:16,595 --> 00:19:18,729
Guys, I totally blew it.
489
00:19:18,763 --> 00:19:21,665
I was all screwed up,
and I'm really sorry.
490
00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:24,034
You're wonderful friends,
and I love you.
491
00:19:24,069 --> 00:19:26,036
We love your crazy ass too,
Knope.
492
00:19:26,071 --> 00:19:29,240
I think you're fine.
Like a solid B-minus.
493
00:19:29,274 --> 00:19:30,708
Great. I'll take it.
494
00:19:30,742 --> 00:19:34,245
We know you've been
missing Ann, so we...
495
00:19:34,279 --> 00:19:37,481
got you this.
496
00:19:37,516 --> 00:19:39,583
Press the paw.
497
00:19:39,618 --> 00:19:41,252
Hi, Leslie. It's Ann.
498
00:19:41,286 --> 00:19:43,921
I love you,
and everything's gonna be okay.
499
00:19:43,955 --> 00:19:45,256
It's cute, right?
500
00:19:45,290 --> 00:19:46,891
I'm very lucky
to have you both.
501
00:19:46,925 --> 00:19:48,959
You know, when Ann and I
used to fight,
502
00:19:48,994 --> 00:19:50,928
we would make up
with a five-minute hug.
503
00:19:50,962 --> 00:19:52,442
Mm, you touch me
and I stab the bunny.
504
00:19:52,464 --> 00:19:53,998
Yeah, it's about time
for my mid-morning mani,
505
00:19:54,032 --> 00:19:54,999
so I'm gonna head out.
506
00:19:55,033 --> 00:19:56,667
Okay. Well, that's fine.
507
00:19:56,701 --> 00:19:59,303
Well, you know, we'll forge
our own unique traditions
508
00:19:59,337 --> 00:20:02,840
in the fiery cauldron
of female friendship.
509
00:20:02,874 --> 00:20:04,675
I'm just an impartial bunny,
510
00:20:04,676 --> 00:20:07,244
but I think Ann sucks.
511
00:20:07,279 --> 00:20:10,147
Also--
I'm the zodiac killer.
512
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,832
And we might even be able
to pull it off under budget.
513
00:20:15,867 --> 00:20:17,534
Sorry.
Sorry, you guys, I'm sorry.
514
00:20:17,568 --> 00:20:20,003
I'm trying to find my inhaler,
'cause I'm having a little...
515
00:20:20,037 --> 00:20:21,271
Take your time.
I mean, it's not like
516
00:20:21,305 --> 00:20:22,572
we're trying
to get work done here.
517
00:20:22,607 --> 00:20:23,640
Yeah, and Larry, by the way,
518
00:20:23,674 --> 00:20:24,641
you're looking
in the wrong spot.
519
00:20:24,675 --> 00:20:25,942
Your inhaler is hidden under
520
00:20:25,977 --> 00:20:27,844
the pile of pistachio shells
on my desk, obviously.
521
00:20:27,879 --> 00:20:29,179
Okay, well, that's funny,
522
00:20:29,213 --> 00:20:30,180
'cause I'm terribly allergic
to pistachios.
523
00:20:30,214 --> 00:20:32,082
Classic.
524
00:20:32,116 --> 00:20:36,520
Okay, you know what?
I need to say something.
525
00:20:36,554 --> 00:20:39,289
I like Larry.
526
00:20:39,323 --> 00:20:42,726
He is a good friend
and a fine man
527
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,128
with an inexplicably
gorgeous wife--
528
00:20:45,163 --> 00:20:47,697
I mean, to the point where
it makes no sense at all.
529
00:20:47,732 --> 00:20:49,199
Sorry. Getting off track.
530
00:20:49,233 --> 00:20:50,801
He is a nice person,
531
00:20:50,835 --> 00:20:56,673
and we should all
stand up and say, "I...
532
00:20:56,707 --> 00:20:57,674
like..."
533
00:20:57,708 --> 00:21:00,377
Ben! No!
What are you doing?
534
00:21:00,411 --> 00:21:02,946
Uh, he's embarrassing himself
and throwing away his career.
535
00:21:02,980 --> 00:21:06,116
- Sweetheart, stop.
- O, captain, my captain.
536
00:21:06,150 --> 00:21:10,153
- What is happening?
- Larry is my friend.
537
00:21:10,188 --> 00:21:12,656
Thank you, Ben.
538
00:21:12,690 --> 00:21:13,657
I mean that.
539
00:21:13,691 --> 00:21:17,527
Oh!
540
00:21:17,562 --> 00:21:20,063
Got so startled I tooted.
541
00:21:20,098 --> 00:21:21,064
Come on, man.
542
00:21:21,099 --> 00:21:22,098
- Oh...
- Gross!
543
00:21:23,124 --> 00:21:31,171
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com